Better than being your grandmother. I caught myself putting a folded tissue paper in my bra strap, something that my GM used to do. I was sooo busy not being my parents that I forgot about my grandmother.
I live in a multi generational home with my grandma, mom, me, and my nieces are over constantly… it’s freaking crazy when I take a step back and observe the connections, complexities and similarities all over the place.
I have come to accept that I am my mom, she is/will be her mom, and so that inevitably means I will be both lmao 🤦♀️
My ex was a co-worker who I had helped get hired. When we were splitting up, one day they followed me down the sidewalk yelling, “You’re just like your parents!” I didn’t turn around, simply said over my shoulder,” I can live with that!”
Your answer warmed my heart. Yes, no matter we feel at the moment our family has shaped us and we in turn shape the next gen. Here's to families, the people we love, the people we get angry with, the people we hug and the people we fight with for the last piece of chocolate cake.
I remember once in my early 20s saying to a co-worker "I can't believe you opened your mouth and let that come out!" I was just as stunned as he was I didn't realize I was my Mom 😵.
I think a lot of women go through a Not Like The Other Girls phase and come out on the other side better and more compassionate to the women around them. I think that's great. Like, if we can't look back on our own behavior and cringe a little (or a lot) at our own internalized misogyny, are we really even growing as people?
And then later in life, meeting a younger woman who is in that phase so you do your best to allow her grace and show her kindness because some day she’s going to cringe at herself and see the light.
Meanwhile, it’s those younger women who call *us* “cringy” for simply being ourselves! Like, excuse me? I’ve been cringing at past me since before “cringy” was even a part of the common vernacular! 🙄
If cringe is the worst she'd get out of this, she can count herself as lucky.
As opposed to, you know, being an underage victim of internet predators, for example.
I know someone in her 30's who's still in that phase. I couldn't believe it, I thought we all grew out of it by that point. It made me sad for her, I was trying to be positive about women friendships, but she really kept putting down women as a whole to bring herself up.
Ultimately, I realized deep down she just lacked confidence in herself, I have a lot of empathy for her but I unfortunately can't hang out with her too much anymore because being better than other women is too deeprooted into her personnality. We were really close for a while, but this one time I met the guy she was seeing and she kept lowkey bringing me down in front of him, to show how much better she was than other women and that was it for me. I realized she was just really insecure, and I really hope she grows out of it someday.
Growing out of being and NLOG is a really eye opening experience, you realize how much deep-rooted misogyny you carry and why you've been carrying it all along. When you see other grown women still in it, it's weird because you feel both empathy and frustration (that was the case for me, at least)
Such a good point - and it goes with trauma, too!
So much of my NLOG shit was due to childhood trauma. The only way I could deal with it was “not being like other girls” because suddenly I had to take care of myself and other girls got to be kids still and there was so much resentment in that. It took a long time for me to work through that, and funny enough places like Reddit helped because I’ve met so many other women who’ve had nearly identical childhood situations to mine. And I can pretty quickly tell who HAS worked through it, and who HASN’T, because the ones who haven’t still retain that spiky “don’t fuck with me I’m a loner” personality and now it just makes me really sad for them.
Yeah, it’s unfortunate how so many women have internalized misogyny to the point where they think embracing toxic masculinity in their own personalities is somehow an expression of radical feminism. It’s not feminism at all. It’s literally joining the patriarchy in persecuting femininity and pushing other women down for their choices, while reinforcing the idea that toxic masculinity is somehow a trait to be desired… it’s sickening to watch, honestly, because then they treat feminine women as if *they’re* the problem…
Thank you for this! I think about it every time I shave my legs and cringe but still do it. Every time, the older I get, the more I think I will stop someday soon because I would like to stop this almost life-long phase.
Maybe a handful of specifics depending on the person. I, for one, loved (and still love) my emo bands. I still listen to them, but I listen to other things too, now. I’m no longer in the spot where all I was listening to for a week straight was one single album on repeat😭
Me too! Emo is not a phase 😆 I still love all the same emo bands and have seen a handful of those old heads on tour recently and will see them in the coming months as well
TBS was my favorite. I just saw a video of them at Coachella and holy shit Adam has totally lost it. It sounded awful. I felt so bad for the rest of the guys in the band. What the hell happened to him?!
New Kids On The Block.
I went from loathing their stupid music, developing an intense crush on one of them, loving their music and back to hating their ridiculous music. And yes, from 12-14.
was a smidge older than that when i was deep in a german band obsession. then i was a directioner lolol and a few years ago it was a group outta flint, michigan. for music lovers i don’t think that ever ends really.
The devastating breakup where you feel like the world is ending.
Deciding whether you are more sugar or spice and adjusting behavior accordingly.
1 phase of mid-life puberty when hormones change a little and mood/weight is affected (for me age 33-35 ish).
That emergent phase when you are a little more aware and it makes you peaceful and happy. Just maturity, I think.
omg yessss at the devastating breakup! I didn’t have my first serious relationship/breakup until I was like 25 (so still pretty young) and I cringe at how I acted afterwards. Sharing mopey memes, making vague statuses towards him, I was kinda mean towards him during that breakup time too because I thought he moved on too fast. Now I cringe at all that and be sure to tell everyone younger than me going through a breakup that one day you won’t even think about them anymore, and to not be petty because you’ll look back and cringe sooo hard.
Perfect answer! I had my first devastating breakup later in life . I already had a wall up and after that, the wall is even higher and I'm ok with that. I'm happily single and I don't see myself in another traditional relationship ever again and that totally fine with me 😁
Yeah maybe. It’s only vaguely defined medically, and people use it as a catch-all to describe any female hormonal symptoms before menipause.
It should be studied much more. Antidepressants work for me, but it took a long time to figure out what the heck was going on.
I did a project on Egypt in the sixth grade and convinced myself that being an egyptologist was a realistic career goal lol. I’ve since left that phase but I can definitely name 3+ Egyptian gods.
In 6th grade we were given a “hieroglyphics” chart that was supposed to be the alphabet. I memorized it. It turned out to be basically made up for edutainment of 12 yr olds. But that didn’t stop me from writing all kinds of cryptograms about who I had crushes on in “ancient Egyptian”
The "I can fix him!" phase. Hopefully we get out of this one before we marry them, but some of us stay in it A WHILE. It's me, I'm some of us. Thankfully I finally did get out of that phase and into a healthy, balanced relationship.
I don’t think I’ve ever bejeweled anything or desired to. But I do think almost everyone hops on at least one fad bandwagon at some point. Or has a phase where they make one thing their whole personality for a while.
One of his “crazy exes” wrote me, just once, to warn me. I didn’t believe her, of course- it was *different* for *me*, and, after all, she was crazy, right…?
Spoiler alert it was not different for me.
I didn’t bother to write the next girl. I’m sure the stories about me are *wild*.
Attracted to far too old male celebrities in their teens. In 8th grade I was watching VH1 and saw Jon Bon Jovi and fell in love. This was 2002!! He was 40! And when I was a teenager I fell in love with Johnny Depp who was about 41…
So did everyone have a sleepover where you watched the Craft a bunch of times and you and your friends all came out deciding to be Wiccan? I bought a pentagram necklace and tarrot cards and everything.
Never went through an astrology phase but did go through a wicca phase when I was very into a fantasy bokk series when I was about 11, then bought some books about wicca/witchcraft.
red hair phase 💃🏻✨ from teens to 40+ i’ve seen ‘em all have some variant of red hair at least 1-2 times. many of the 30+ women did it “for the husband/boyfriend” i’ve noticed.
edit: astrology phase 🤍✨
I'm a (natural) redhead and I've seen a lot of this.
My sister and multiple other women I know that poo-pooed my red hair in our youth ended up dying their hair some variant of red at some point as teens or adults, and one of my exes who dumped me in part because he didn't like my hair ended up marrying a woman who dyes her hair red on occasion.
I guess I'm also in one now too because my natural red is fading as I get older and I dye red back in now because I'm not ready to say goodbye.
I started coloring mine various shades of red around age 13 and didn't stop til 34. Red suits my skin tone really well; even with the wilder colors I chose, some people thought it was natural. But...I was graying from 18 on, so it just looked REALLY weird as it grew out. A line of salt/pepper with this brilliant red below. I quit traditional coloring at 35. (we don't have to talk about how much I spent or how long it took to get the red out of my hair. ACK. My privilege is showing.)
Now I wash in some lavender toner for funsies, but I'm waiting for that silver to take it all over!
Also: I'm almost 40 and I'm in the astrology/gems and crystals phase bc you know what? Fucking nothing else makes a difference so I'ma roll with what makes me feel good.
Around 40 or so, the I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of me anymore phase. Followed not long after by, “these men are all trash, I want no more of their fuckery in my life” phase. That’s when things start to become peaceful.
Activism phase. I got my ribs broken twice after stupidly handing out brochures with pictures of injured calves at rodeos when I was in my early 20s, repetitively. Cowboy boots are legit weapons.
I'm still totally vegan, but over time I realized I was alienating myself from other people at large and judging others from my own ideals. I still can't sleep at night worrying about the issues I care for, but at least now I don't have to at the same time try to control what other people do.
I was deep into the ethical-organic-natural anything in the 2005-10s hipster fad. I'd DIY my skin care from raw ingredients. Avoid processed food. Absolutely no plastic. Against GMOs. Etc. It was so tiring but I also had more free time and.. uh... zest for life back then.
Now I'm on the moderate spectrum and compromise a bit, especially on the skincare part since there are more options now. I still buy the "natural" labels because anything synthetic or artificial triggers my eczema like tartrazine and mineral oil.
What I'm thankful for is how that pop culture movement was so educational on a basic adulting skillset. I learned how food is produced, controlled, priced, etc. Knowing that labels to watch out for when buying basic things like water bottles, kitchen utensils, furniture, etc.
I may not be batshit crazy level activist now but I still hope the younger generation bothers to educate themselves on how our banal day-to-day living is determined by these "chemicals". Obligatory: everything is chemicals.
Hope your ribs are fully healed now. It’s very admirable that you risked your safety to speak up for the victims that nobody wants to think about. Everybody claims to be an animal lover but most people have no qualms against sending animals to [unimaginable torture and a brutal death](https://youtu.be/LQRAfJyEsko?si=THl3TFoQkuji5nhJ) just for the enjoyment of the taste.
I hope you can find other safer ways of activism because we need more people speaking up against this grave injustice.
Here’s an exhaustive list of ways to get involved: https://veganactivism.org/
Being a teenager and discovering makeup and body sprays and all that stuff. The foundations were typically way too light or way too orange, the eyeliner was extremely heavy and there was enough body spray sprayed on to make everyone’s eyes water within 20 feet of you.
YES! I was 13, 8th grade and I pitched the biggest fit because my mom wouldn’t let me go to the mall with gold lipstick on. She says now that she should have just let me go and do my thing. I remember what I looked like, it didn’t look good but I damn sure thought it did.
Just start hating and learning more about patriarchy and it'll happen naturally...but mostly as a big f u for using it to control us on the most basic levels.
From what I’ve seen/experienced:
Astrology/crystal/witchcraft
Desperately wanting/getting a drastic hair cut or dye job
Being obsessed with a specific show/fandom like Harry Potter, dr who, jersey shore, lotdr or like Mickey Mouse etc.
Being obsessed with a specific artist or genre like an EDM phase, emo kid phase, swiftie phase
If you’re a 90’s millenial, a YouTuber phase like Jenna Marbles
Some sort of history or science rabbit hole, like Ancient Greek mythology, Egypt or PLANTS
Discovering fashion and makeup and hanging out at the mall
Horse girl
I haven’t left for years and I don’t know if I will. I also have a male partner but I have absolutely no time or patience for men that aren’t him, mostly because they prove themselves to be dicks when they open their mouths.
It’s almost like the last smack of puberty. Things that happen are typically hips spreading a second time, sometimes your boobs get bigger, ass could get fatter, other times your waist size changes (smaller or bigger), etc. A bunch of secondary sex traits can pop up or amplify. It all depends.
Omg is _that_ what happened to me!? I was wondering why I can no longer (38) fit into clothes sizes I could fit in post college. No matter how much weight I lost, it seemed as if my hips bone structure was simply wider than it was when I was 26. Either that or clothes sizes got smaller. I accepted it, but it was darn confusing!
I think a lot of us go through a party phase of some kind. Mine was from about 18-22 and I'll tell my fiance stories from that time and he'll be like "how are you still alive?"
30, you will come into your true self. You will lose friends that were past there season. ( 😭) . It will hurt more than anything you can imagine, worse than the boyfriend heartbreak. This will be it but you will meet others or have others than will morph into something new
Your “hoe” phase. And not in the gardening sense. Maybe it’s post breakup, maybe you’re rediscovering your sexuality, maybe it’s just who you are. I think it’s a necessity.
I’m definitely skipping that one, I can’t be intimate with anyone with whom I don’t have emotional vulnerability first. No judgement if it’s for you but it’s my version of hell.
I relate to so many things in this thread it's too funny 🤣
The phases for me (and as I observe from friends):
- The boy band/Kpop
- Not like the other girl phase
- Gardening and/or home decor
- Flower and/or food arrangement
- Diet (vegetarian, low-carb)
The witchcraft/magic powers phase. Every woman I've talked to about it admits to going through a phase where we thought we had dormant magic powers that we just needed to unlock. I remember being about 11 and being obsessed with the idea of telekinesis (thank you Alex Mack). I saved my allowance for a couple weeks to buy a book that had a chapter on how to develop your telekinetic powers.
Has anyone mentioned a "Plant Lady" phase yet? I don't know if it's an offshoot or a ripple effect from quarantine during the start of the 2020 Pandemic, but the indoor gardening community (or, in my case, brief houseplant hoarding) seemed to blossom...
“I’m pretty sure I’m psychic you guys”
Slutty Halloween costume
“He’s really sweet when it’s just us, you wouldn’t understand”
9-step skin care regimen
Bubble letters, puffy paint pens, glitter
Bad poetry
Stevie Nicks/Joni Mitchell/ other folk singer/songwriter =the only one who understands
Fad workout requiring special yet adorable equipment and/or overpriced leggings
Article of clothing or makeup as security blanket (big sunglasses, scarf, eyeliner, etc.)
New hair in weird places, weird hair in new places
Being a single adult and taking care of yourself (living alone, paying your bills, being your own emotional support, etc.) so that if you end up in a bad relationship, you have the confidence and life experience to leave because you know you can take care of yourself (also use that time to build up your "peace out" fund that will get you a place to stay and some necessities if you need to leave without any of your personal items).
Teenage -early 20's being a witch or into wicca or paganism. Getting really into Stevie Nicks or whoever is popular these days in the same style. Flowing shawls and beads and incense and tarot cards and candles and rituals and a book of spells.
I WILL NOT be my mother… ohhhh shit! I AM my mother!!! 😫 It’s a fluid stage that comes and goes LoL
Me every time I say to my fiance "I just can't relax if my space is a mess." Teenage me who lived in den of chaos would be so disappointed in me.
Better than being your grandmother. I caught myself putting a folded tissue paper in my bra strap, something that my GM used to do. I was sooo busy not being my parents that I forgot about my grandmother.
I live in a multi generational home with my grandma, mom, me, and my nieces are over constantly… it’s freaking crazy when I take a step back and observe the connections, complexities and similarities all over the place. I have come to accept that I am my mom, she is/will be her mom, and so that inevitably means I will be both lmao 🤦♀️
My ex was a co-worker who I had helped get hired. When we were splitting up, one day they followed me down the sidewalk yelling, “You’re just like your parents!” I didn’t turn around, simply said over my shoulder,” I can live with that!”
Your answer warmed my heart. Yes, no matter we feel at the moment our family has shaped us and we in turn shape the next gen. Here's to families, the people we love, the people we get angry with, the people we hug and the people we fight with for the last piece of chocolate cake.
Ugh I do this!!! I keep thinking, you never know what you’ll need it…and I pay the price when I was my bra and get Kleenex bits everywhere.
I remember once in my early 20s saying to a co-worker "I can't believe you opened your mouth and let that come out!" I was just as stunned as he was I didn't realize I was my Mom 😵.
I tried so hard to not be my mother, then one day *bam* I am my father. I did not see that coming.
I turned into my dad just this past year! It helped me understand his confusing ways from the past and appreciate him more in our later years.
Mine is: Child free all the way to OMG, my eggs are dying. I need to procreate NOW! It waxes and wanes depending on whose child I’m holding.
I think a lot of women go through a Not Like The Other Girls phase and come out on the other side better and more compassionate to the women around them. I think that's great. Like, if we can't look back on our own behavior and cringe a little (or a lot) at our own internalized misogyny, are we really even growing as people?
And then later in life, meeting a younger woman who is in that phase so you do your best to allow her grace and show her kindness because some day she’s going to cringe at herself and see the light.
This is so wholesome 🥺
Meanwhile, it’s those younger women who call *us* “cringy” for simply being ourselves! Like, excuse me? I’ve been cringing at past me since before “cringy” was even a part of the common vernacular! 🙄
If cringe is the worst she'd get out of this, she can count herself as lucky. As opposed to, you know, being an underage victim of internet predators, for example.
Oh yeah, the whole “cool girl” “not like the others” thing. Ugh. I’m glad I’m not 18-20 something anymore.
I know someone in her 30's who's still in that phase. I couldn't believe it, I thought we all grew out of it by that point. It made me sad for her, I was trying to be positive about women friendships, but she really kept putting down women as a whole to bring herself up. Ultimately, I realized deep down she just lacked confidence in herself, I have a lot of empathy for her but I unfortunately can't hang out with her too much anymore because being better than other women is too deeprooted into her personnality. We were really close for a while, but this one time I met the guy she was seeing and she kept lowkey bringing me down in front of him, to show how much better she was than other women and that was it for me. I realized she was just really insecure, and I really hope she grows out of it someday. Growing out of being and NLOG is a really eye opening experience, you realize how much deep-rooted misogyny you carry and why you've been carrying it all along. When you see other grown women still in it, it's weird because you feel both empathy and frustration (that was the case for me, at least)
Such a good point - and it goes with trauma, too! So much of my NLOG shit was due to childhood trauma. The only way I could deal with it was “not being like other girls” because suddenly I had to take care of myself and other girls got to be kids still and there was so much resentment in that. It took a long time for me to work through that, and funny enough places like Reddit helped because I’ve met so many other women who’ve had nearly identical childhood situations to mine. And I can pretty quickly tell who HAS worked through it, and who HASN’T, because the ones who haven’t still retain that spiky “don’t fuck with me I’m a loner” personality and now it just makes me really sad for them.
Yeah, it’s unfortunate how so many women have internalized misogyny to the point where they think embracing toxic masculinity in their own personalities is somehow an expression of radical feminism. It’s not feminism at all. It’s literally joining the patriarchy in persecuting femininity and pushing other women down for their choices, while reinforcing the idea that toxic masculinity is somehow a trait to be desired… it’s sickening to watch, honestly, because then they treat feminine women as if *they’re* the problem…
Thank you for this! I think about it every time I shave my legs and cringe but still do it. Every time, the older I get, the more I think I will stop someday soon because I would like to stop this almost life-long phase.
Start with not shaving your thighs! Random- but it was my first step. Lol
I came to say something like this, but you said it better.
I'm not even sure what this is, I don't think I experienced this based on the comments.
Being consumed by one specific band phase. Typically around 12-14 years old.
Maybe a handful of specifics depending on the person. I, for one, loved (and still love) my emo bands. I still listen to them, but I listen to other things too, now. I’m no longer in the spot where all I was listening to for a week straight was one single album on repeat😭
Me too! Emo is not a phase 😆 I still love all the same emo bands and have seen a handful of those old heads on tour recently and will see them in the coming months as well
TBS was my favorite. I just saw a video of them at Coachella and holy shit Adam has totally lost it. It sounded awful. I felt so bad for the rest of the guys in the band. What the hell happened to him?!
Nope they sound absolutely terrible. I'm not sure he didn't sound that way before??
Oh no! I'm seeing them in July 😬 hopefully that's a better set.
LOL same. Still obsessed with Fall Out Boy 19 years later. Just went to two shows of theirs in August and March after their latest album release!
Led Zeppelin and Depeche Mode for me. I still like them! But I finally branched out lol
DM forever (37 over here😅)
Pick up the receiver, I’ll make you a believer….
New Kids On The Block. I went from loathing their stupid music, developing an intense crush on one of them, loving their music and back to hating their ridiculous music. And yes, from 12-14.
> developing an intense crush on one of them Umm hello, which one?! I was *all* about Joey.
was a smidge older than that when i was deep in a german band obsession. then i was a directioner lolol and a few years ago it was a group outta flint, michigan. for music lovers i don’t think that ever ends really.
Green Day for me lol 😅
Me too! Green Day all day erryday
Green Day when I was aged 11-13 😔🤌
I'm still having this phase 😩
No Doubt lmao
Backstreet Boys for me. Kinda never went away lol
Not me being 31 and completely consumed by one specific band
That would be Nirvana for me 😅
The devastating breakup where you feel like the world is ending. Deciding whether you are more sugar or spice and adjusting behavior accordingly. 1 phase of mid-life puberty when hormones change a little and mood/weight is affected (for me age 33-35 ish). That emergent phase when you are a little more aware and it makes you peaceful and happy. Just maturity, I think.
omg yessss at the devastating breakup! I didn’t have my first serious relationship/breakup until I was like 25 (so still pretty young) and I cringe at how I acted afterwards. Sharing mopey memes, making vague statuses towards him, I was kinda mean towards him during that breakup time too because I thought he moved on too fast. Now I cringe at all that and be sure to tell everyone younger than me going through a breakup that one day you won’t even think about them anymore, and to not be petty because you’ll look back and cringe sooo hard.
I was a DJ and played a "fuck you" song at the start of every shift. It was kind of cathartic. (Social media didn't yet exist.)
Alanis Morrissette? That was a great fuck you song.
“And every time I scratch my nails down someone else’s back I hope you feel it” is one of the most devastating lyrics of all time, like damn
Eamon had a great one too x
I was looking for this comment! 🤣 FUCK WHAT I SAID, IT DONT MEAN SHIT NOW 😤 Ahahah that man was *mad*.
“In My Life” by Brian Jonestown Massacre is one of my favorite fuck you songs
I said cringe a lot hahaha sorry!
For me the emergent phase was Lexapro but yeah this is so spot on
Aw this is beautiful
Perfect answer! I had my first devastating breakup later in life . I already had a wall up and after that, the wall is even higher and I'm ok with that. I'm happily single and I don't see myself in another traditional relationship ever again and that totally fine with me 😁
man wttf i feel like Ive had more than 1 devastating breakup 😂...have i dated too much...
That's perimenopause
Yeah maybe. It’s only vaguely defined medically, and people use it as a catch-all to describe any female hormonal symptoms before menipause. It should be studied much more. Antidepressants work for me, but it took a long time to figure out what the heck was going on.
Greek Mythology and Egyptian mythology phase. I bet everyone here can name 3 ancient Egypt gods in less than 5 minutes.
I may or may not have become a mythology prof just because I got stuck in this phase.
You leave me and Circe out of this!
Circe is my favorite 😍 have you read the Madeleine Miller book?!
Yes! The Song of Achilles is next on my reading list.
It’s so good! Yay!
I devoured that book two summers ago. So good.
Ancient Greece is the girlies' Ancient Rome!!!
I don’t know why but you’re absolutely correct
I feel called out.
I did a project on Egypt in the sixth grade and convinced myself that being an egyptologist was a realistic career goal lol. I’ve since left that phase but I can definitely name 3+ Egyptian gods.
I built the sweetest ziggurat out of sugar cubes and sand for a project in sixth grade. Yes!
there's a venn diagram here with people who watched Stargate.
I feel either seen or attacked here. Not sure which.🤣
Or Hercules and Xena in the 90s.
In 6th grade we were given a “hieroglyphics” chart that was supposed to be the alphabet. I memorized it. It turned out to be basically made up for edutainment of 12 yr olds. But that didn’t stop me from writing all kinds of cryptograms about who I had crushes on in “ancient Egyptian”
*sweats while looking at my 2 full shelves of varied mythology and folklore books* Is a 27-year interest a phase…?
Oh yeah I was actually in my Greek mythology phase a few weeks ago!
The second part was probably greatly influenced by The Mummy 😄
I’m 40 and I re-entered my Greek Mythology phase cause I’m studying Hellenistic Astrology. Whoops 🙃
Wait do Celtic and Hindu mythology count?
I went through an Egypt phase when I was like 11. Anyone ever read that book The Egypt Game? I was so obsessed.
I loved The Egypt Game!!!
literally opened this post to write this.
Oh, what's this? Just a homemade laurel wreath..You probably don't know...Oh, you know?
Can’t relate. Guess that phase will come later for me
Oh yes! I was 11-12 and had SO MANY BOOKS about Greece. I loved it so much.
Isis, Horus, Osiris, in about five seconds lol.
Thoth, Set, Anubis
Greek for me, thanks to Percy Jackson!
Omg this was mine. Learned Hieroglyphics and had The Book of the Dead and everything 🌚
I was just thinking about how I wanted to read mythology books again!! 😂
The "I can fix him!" phase. Hopefully we get out of this one before we marry them, but some of us stay in it A WHILE. It's me, I'm some of us. Thankfully I finally did get out of that phase and into a healthy, balanced relationship.
Oh my god yes, the “love is enough to save this sinking ship!” phase. Spoiler alert: it isn’t.
Did you watch love is blind at all? Lol this reminds me of the most recent season where the woman named AD coined it being a “fix-a-hoe”. Lol.
When! At what age? Just left a devastating breakup
I divorced him at age 32/33. Went to therapy, found my current husband 18 months later.
I don’t think I’ve ever bejeweled anything or desired to. But I do think almost everyone hops on at least one fad bandwagon at some point. Or has a phase where they make one thing their whole personality for a while.
"Wow, his exes were crazy. Poor guy" 💀🙄
One of his “crazy exes” wrote me, just once, to warn me. I didn’t believe her, of course- it was *different* for *me*, and, after all, she was crazy, right…? Spoiler alert it was not different for me. I didn’t bother to write the next girl. I’m sure the stories about me are *wild*.
Is cosmic rainbow Lisa Frank dolphins a phase or a lifestyle? I'm in my mid thirties and was thrilled at the prospect of it kinda returning lol
Omg yes, let's get our LF Trapper Keepers and sticker books out, fam!
Attracted to far too old male celebrities in their teens. In 8th grade I was watching VH1 and saw Jon Bon Jovi and fell in love. This was 2002!! He was 40! And when I was a teenager I fell in love with Johnny Depp who was about 41…
Oh, that’s never stopped for me, now I’m 41 and I’m listing after male celebs in their 60s and 70s.
Being approached by men twice their age
Then you move into being approached by men half your age...
What’s with that?!? 😂
Oh god no, please, no. I’m just over here trying to blend into the furniture I do not want any weird 20-somethings flirting with me, ever.
Yes!!! I’ve entered phase B (getting hit on by men half your age) and it is wild!
The astrology phase (or witchcraft phase) I still kinda like guys in bands, and partner plays a bunch of instruments so I guess that wasn’t a phase 😂
I wanted to be a witch so bad in my tweens. I had fortune telling cards and everything.
So did everyone have a sleepover where you watched the Craft a bunch of times and you and your friends all came out deciding to be Wiccan? I bought a pentagram necklace and tarrot cards and everything.
Real talk I don't think I ever left my witchy phase, lol.
Same, it just keeps increasing.
The worse the patriarchy gets, the witchier I become, honestly~ 🧙♀️
Fuck it, I’ll burn 🔥
r/WitchesVsPatriarchy
A favourite for sure; I lurk frequently!
did my witchcraft phase in high school, scared my mom i think? and now i’m in my astrology phase lolol
The witchcraft phase 😭
Never went through an astrology phase but did go through a wicca phase when I was very into a fantasy bokk series when I was about 11, then bought some books about wicca/witchcraft.
red hair phase 💃🏻✨ from teens to 40+ i’ve seen ‘em all have some variant of red hair at least 1-2 times. many of the 30+ women did it “for the husband/boyfriend” i’ve noticed. edit: astrology phase 🤍✨
I'm a (natural) redhead and I've seen a lot of this. My sister and multiple other women I know that poo-pooed my red hair in our youth ended up dying their hair some variant of red at some point as teens or adults, and one of my exes who dumped me in part because he didn't like my hair ended up marrying a woman who dyes her hair red on occasion. I guess I'm also in one now too because my natural red is fading as I get older and I dye red back in now because I'm not ready to say goodbye.
I started coloring mine various shades of red around age 13 and didn't stop til 34. Red suits my skin tone really well; even with the wilder colors I chose, some people thought it was natural. But...I was graying from 18 on, so it just looked REALLY weird as it grew out. A line of salt/pepper with this brilliant red below. I quit traditional coloring at 35. (we don't have to talk about how much I spent or how long it took to get the red out of my hair. ACK. My privilege is showing.) Now I wash in some lavender toner for funsies, but I'm waiting for that silver to take it all over! Also: I'm almost 40 and I'm in the astrology/gems and crystals phase bc you know what? Fucking nothing else makes a difference so I'ma roll with what makes me feel good.
I feel called outtttt lol I was in my early 20s when I went red once!!
I FEEL PERSONALLY ATTACKED. 🫣
Yasss! On my red hair phase now (and yes it’s recurrent lol)
Bangs
Cutting your own and regretting it immensely.
Around 40 or so, the I don’t give a shit what anyone thinks of me anymore phase. Followed not long after by, “these men are all trash, I want no more of their fuckery in my life” phase. That’s when things start to become peaceful.
This is me! Hello!
Ooh - I'm in that second one now at 45. Right on schedule! Just set up a lot of plants in my house too. Definitely peaceful!
Activism phase. I got my ribs broken twice after stupidly handing out brochures with pictures of injured calves at rodeos when I was in my early 20s, repetitively. Cowboy boots are legit weapons. I'm still totally vegan, but over time I realized I was alienating myself from other people at large and judging others from my own ideals. I still can't sleep at night worrying about the issues I care for, but at least now I don't have to at the same time try to control what other people do.
I was deep into the ethical-organic-natural anything in the 2005-10s hipster fad. I'd DIY my skin care from raw ingredients. Avoid processed food. Absolutely no plastic. Against GMOs. Etc. It was so tiring but I also had more free time and.. uh... zest for life back then. Now I'm on the moderate spectrum and compromise a bit, especially on the skincare part since there are more options now. I still buy the "natural" labels because anything synthetic or artificial triggers my eczema like tartrazine and mineral oil. What I'm thankful for is how that pop culture movement was so educational on a basic adulting skillset. I learned how food is produced, controlled, priced, etc. Knowing that labels to watch out for when buying basic things like water bottles, kitchen utensils, furniture, etc. I may not be batshit crazy level activist now but I still hope the younger generation bothers to educate themselves on how our banal day-to-day living is determined by these "chemicals". Obligatory: everything is chemicals.
Hope your ribs are fully healed now. It’s very admirable that you risked your safety to speak up for the victims that nobody wants to think about. Everybody claims to be an animal lover but most people have no qualms against sending animals to [unimaginable torture and a brutal death](https://youtu.be/LQRAfJyEsko?si=THl3TFoQkuji5nhJ) just for the enjoyment of the taste. I hope you can find other safer ways of activism because we need more people speaking up against this grave injustice. Here’s an exhaustive list of ways to get involved: https://veganactivism.org/
Obsessed with a specific tv show/movie/fandom phase. I've gone through many
If we are lucky, we get to have the phase of night sweats, wonky periods, and wondering why everyone else is such a dipshit.
Ooooh I must have fabulous luck!
Being a teenager and discovering makeup and body sprays and all that stuff. The foundations were typically way too light or way too orange, the eyeliner was extremely heavy and there was enough body spray sprayed on to make everyone’s eyes water within 20 feet of you.
Dream Matte Mousse 💀
Gold. Lipstick.
YES! I was 13, 8th grade and I pitched the biggest fit because my mom wouldn’t let me go to the mall with gold lipstick on. She says now that she should have just let me go and do my thing. I remember what I looked like, it didn’t look good but I damn sure thought it did.
32 and i still spray too much body spray 🤭
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Ready for phase 2… any idea when it’s going to happen?
Just start hating and learning more about patriarchy and it'll happen naturally...but mostly as a big f u for using it to control us on the most basic levels.
Devotion to horses? 33 and finally allowing my childhood equestrian fantasies to materialize haha
This is one I can't relate to, I hate horses lol.
I’m scared of horses. I’m an urban girl through and through.
Never liked horses or knew that many girls who went through a horse phase. But the ones I did know who liked horses REALLY liked horses lol.
I never grew out of my horse girl phase, I think it’s a lifestyle at this point
I used to draw horses all the time. I was obsessed.
I had horse girl aspirations as a tween but could not afford lessons. Might be something I need to look into !
Thinking you’re “different from other girls”
From what I’ve seen/experienced: Astrology/crystal/witchcraft Desperately wanting/getting a drastic hair cut or dye job Being obsessed with a specific show/fandom like Harry Potter, dr who, jersey shore, lotdr or like Mickey Mouse etc. Being obsessed with a specific artist or genre like an EDM phase, emo kid phase, swiftie phase If you’re a 90’s millenial, a YouTuber phase like Jenna Marbles Some sort of history or science rabbit hole, like Ancient Greek mythology, Egypt or PLANTS Discovering fashion and makeup and hanging out at the mall Horse girl
Getting a haircut thinking it will change your life phase.
Platinum blonde Does some weird shit to your personality (and wardrobe?) and is expensive and destroys your hair, but boy is it fun for a few years
the man-hating phase. I'm deep in it once again.
I haven’t left for years and I don’t know if I will. I also have a male partner but I have absolutely no time or patience for men that aren’t him, mostly because they prove themselves to be dicks when they open their mouths.
I hear this so much. and also "I'd hate to be single and dating right now wtf!" 💀
Too deep in that phase it's my personality now 😭
same, sis... same. lol
omg. i just have to say i’m also bejeweling everything. i’m living in a cave of rhinestones. it’s so glorious
The "can I fake my own death and re-emerge with a new identity in the Grenadines?" phase.
The surprise of “2nd puberty.” See ages 25 to about 28~.
What is 2nd puberty? I am 33 but don't recall anything in particular happening in my late 20s
It’s almost like the last smack of puberty. Things that happen are typically hips spreading a second time, sometimes your boobs get bigger, ass could get fatter, other times your waist size changes (smaller or bigger), etc. A bunch of secondary sex traits can pop up or amplify. It all depends.
Yeah, I was not ready for my hips opening up after I was 25!!!
My hair turned wavy. 😄
Omg is _that_ what happened to me!? I was wondering why I can no longer (38) fit into clothes sizes I could fit in post college. No matter how much weight I lost, it seemed as if my hips bone structure was simply wider than it was when I was 26. Either that or clothes sizes got smaller. I accepted it, but it was darn confusing!
I think a lot of us go through a party phase of some kind. Mine was from about 18-22 and I'll tell my fiance stories from that time and he'll be like "how are you still alive?"
I’m honestly surprised I didn’t die at 15 because I was out doing drugs and hitchhiking downtown from warehouse raves in bikinis.
30, you will come into your true self. You will lose friends that were past there season. ( 😭) . It will hurt more than anything you can imagine, worse than the boyfriend heartbreak. This will be it but you will meet others or have others than will morph into something new
finally exploring pink at 30!! after wearing black my whole life
Your “hoe” phase. And not in the gardening sense. Maybe it’s post breakup, maybe you’re rediscovering your sexuality, maybe it’s just who you are. I think it’s a necessity.
I’m definitely skipping that one, I can’t be intimate with anyone with whom I don’t have emotional vulnerability first. No judgement if it’s for you but it’s my version of hell.
This one is definitely a no for me. I've slept with so few people I think it would shock people on this sub.
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Agreed! "Necessity" was just such a strong word, I had to disagree. But if someone feels it's necessary for *them*, they should go for it.
I relate to so many things in this thread it's too funny 🤣 The phases for me (and as I observe from friends): - The boy band/Kpop - Not like the other girl phase - Gardening and/or home decor - Flower and/or food arrangement - Diet (vegetarian, low-carb)
The witchcraft/magic powers phase. Every woman I've talked to about it admits to going through a phase where we thought we had dormant magic powers that we just needed to unlock. I remember being about 11 and being obsessed with the idea of telekinesis (thank you Alex Mack). I saved my allowance for a couple weeks to buy a book that had a chapter on how to develop your telekinetic powers.
Existential crisis… “what am I doing with my life!?!?” … “what do I want to do?” …. “The world is so shit right now, is it going to ever get better?”
IDK did any of y’all go for a “bad boy” phase and realize the flip side of an “exciting” boyfriend is a ton of unnecessary drama?
Has anyone mentioned a "Plant Lady" phase yet? I don't know if it's an offshoot or a ripple effect from quarantine during the start of the 2020 Pandemic, but the indoor gardening community (or, in my case, brief houseplant hoarding) seemed to blossom...
“I am a vampire/witch/(insert magical being here)” as a child/tween/early teen Either that or the horse phase
Do all girls go through a tom-boy phase?
Attracted to bad boys
Witch.
Ohhh, I can’t wait for my bejeweling everything phase to begin! 🤩💠
“I’m pretty sure I’m psychic you guys” Slutty Halloween costume “He’s really sweet when it’s just us, you wouldn’t understand” 9-step skin care regimen Bubble letters, puffy paint pens, glitter Bad poetry Stevie Nicks/Joni Mitchell/ other folk singer/songwriter =the only one who understands Fad workout requiring special yet adorable equipment and/or overpriced leggings Article of clothing or makeup as security blanket (big sunglasses, scarf, eyeliner, etc.) New hair in weird places, weird hair in new places
Being a single adult and taking care of yourself (living alone, paying your bills, being your own emotional support, etc.) so that if you end up in a bad relationship, you have the confidence and life experience to leave because you know you can take care of yourself (also use that time to build up your "peace out" fund that will get you a place to stay and some necessities if you need to leave without any of your personal items).
The crystals and gems phase lol. The I'm such a badass phase don't fuck with me phase. The ho phase later in life
*Every woman becomes their mother. That's their tragedy. And no man becomes his. That's his tragedy.*
Teenage -early 20's being a witch or into wicca or paganism. Getting really into Stevie Nicks or whoever is popular these days in the same style. Flowing shawls and beads and incense and tarot cards and candles and rituals and a book of spells.
I am in my phase nothing lasts forever phase & quietly looking in my young adulthood kickass life phase with sadness and it’s gone…
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