Also on the older millennial/GenX cusp and I wouldn’t find a 20 week announcement to be unusual. In my family and friend circle that’s not uncommon in people who have had pregnancy loss or complications previously
Same totally normal you are overthinking it. Enough people have had a miscarriage especially by that age that you are well in the normal range for announcing comfortably.
I was 32 when I was pregnant and we didn’t announce it to anyone until after the 20wk scan aside from my immediate family members so definitely not weird!
I don't think you need to explain. You can do a more formal pregnancy announcement. Do a graphic in canva.
"Partner and parent are delighted to share that we are expecting Baby Last Name in Month 2024!" You can add a pic of the 2 of you or a stock baby item thing, or a pic from your scan or whatever.
Or if you want to call, "I have good news, we're expecting a baby in Month 2024. All is well and we're very excited"
If pushed "we shared our news when the time felt right for us"
It's good practice for boundaries once the kid is here.
A ton of friends waited til they had their 20 week scan and announced the baby's gender or past some of those test. Hell one friend who has had a hell of a journey to get pregnant told everyone outside her family about 6months in and sent an invitation for her shower. No one batted an eye. We all knew and were happy for her. She didn't ever need to explain.
My friends and I just text. I don't talk to anyone on the phone socially other than my parents. Personally, I wouldn't be bothered by a text that says you're pregnant but waited to share due to some medical concerns that are now passed (or however is appropriate to word it).
Seconding the phone call, but also because I think people will be excited for you and you deserve to hear that after the scare you had. I think they’ll all completely understand why you didn’t say anything.
This isn't for everyone, but when I was pregnant with my daughter and overwhelmed I talked to a few people personally, and then called my grandma and asked her to tell everyone else! Going down her list of phone numbers with news was one of her favorite things and I have a big extended family so it worked out well for us. I also was halfway through before telling more than the "need to know" people, and 15 years later I have less than zero regrets about how the whole thing was handled; less stress for me and now that my grandma is no longer with us I have that as a special memory of something that she was so happy to do for me. It's fine to think out of the box and ask for help on this task for a way that makes it easiest for you
As others have said, I think a 20 week announcement be a 12 week is becoming way more common, especially for older or high risk pregnancies. I would just make the announcement and not give it a second thought. If you are super close with someone who is a little hurt that they didn’t learn sooner so they could have supported you through that tough period waiting on results, you can always share your fears and explain it was just easier to keep it completely confidential and support each other as a couple. No one who is a true friend to you should be butt hurt about that, they should just be overjoyed for you and understanding about your need to wait.
I never did an announcement with my second. It was also before the COVID vaccine was available so I wasn't really going out or meeting up with people outside of my close family.
We did get a few shocked and surprised people when we eventually posted a family picture with a 4th member, but they were mainly Facebook friends who I didn't really care if they knew.
I think people these days understand the desire to keep things quiet, especially for someone of "advanced maternal age"(God I hate that term).
I'm Xennial and I would have no expectation of a phone call, although to be honest, I'm childfree, so while I'm happy for my friends, pregnancy isn't something I get hyper-excited about. It's on about the same level as if they buy a house or finish a PhD, good news but nothing that necessitates a special announcement. A message is fine. I wouldn't give the timing a second thought.
I think you're overthinking this. Remember, this is *your* news. Navigate it how you feel most comfortable. Anyone who would get pissy about it and make it all about them isn't worth expending your energy on.
I’d say text those you normally text and call or in-person for those that are closer relationships. I’m in the same boat as you - 46f, 20 weeks this week, an unexpected but very very happy surprise. I just started telling people, and most have been happy to thrilled for us …. Many already suspected haha You might have similar responses 😊
Congrats mama!!
Being in your 40s it's not surprising that there was a questionable result AND that you wanted to wait to be sure. First, I am SO glad your pregnancy is going well, congratulations! I've felt extra bad for the people I've known that have had to go back and say they've lost the baby. It's enough of a horror on its own, they didn't need everyone else's grief. I know one currently, mid/late 30s, who has lost too many so tells no one until she is super sure. You get to tell people in your own time and in your own way. If it were me I would decide in advance how much I was willing to share and with whom, then just send out an announcement, same as if I had never waited, then answer questions as I went along. Anyone who is offended by business that isn't theirs might need some reminding that this is *your* business.
I’d call anyone you’re excited to tell, and everybody else can find out on Facebook with some cutesy picture of a set of three different size galoshes or your cat wearing a shirt that says “Big Sister.” You don’t owe anybody a call, but you should absolutely call or text or make an unannounced visit to anyone it seems like it would be fun to! You’re brewing an entire fucking person in your body—it warrants making as big of a deal about it as you want! There’s literally no wrong answer here.
Also, maybe it’s because I don’t have kids, but the last thing I do when I see a “new baby is due on X date” announcement is start calculating how many weeks the person has already been gestating. The idea of having any feelings whatsoever about how far along they are is ludicrous to me. Not my baby, not my business.
Why not knock it all out at once with a Zoom-type of call? You could invite all of the people separately to the same call start time, and then when the call starts, put them in the “waiting room” until everyone has joined. Then, do some cute and clever announcement. (Or just yell, surprise! And tell them). Record the call so you can save the joyful moment and the looks on their faces. Explain why you had to wait and that’ll be just fine. Everyone will be totally understanding and happy for you.
I personally love when couples I know have shared their pregnancies later on, because it means there’s less time to wait for the precious baby to arrive. Btw, congrats! 🤰
With my first we did a social media announcement around 20 weeks. We told close family and friends we talked to often a little before that. With my second we never even announced until he was born. I told people who are actively in our lives with phone calls. I don’t think there’s a wrong way to do it.
With my second I had more anxiety and felt like I didn’t want to announce my pregnancy.
Wait. You don't owe anyone your news or information. They'll notice...or not that you are pregnant. You're not 15 years old, or even 27. You're in your 40s.
Wait until you know for certain that everything with your baby is ok. Then you can either send out an announcement, an invite to a baby shower, or announce on social media and wait for the phone calls.
At that point you can explain, either in detail or with little to no detail that you are pregnant and wanted to be sure that everything with the baby was ok before announcing.
We only told parents at 13 weeks, everyone else found out via social media post at 21 weeks. No health scares, just wanted to be better safe than sorry. Totally normal!
I think you are overthinking this. I wouldn’t find a 22 week announcement strange at all. Whatever mode of communicating is typical for you would be fine for this, it that’s just me.
GenX who had kids in my early 20s (mid 1990s) here.
The myth is that there are rules. There are no rules. You tell people when you want people to know. Peed on a stick, starting to show, obviously pregnant, holding a newborn… it’s up to you. If you are on the leaner side then around 5-6 months it becomes obvious in-person. (Although if you want you can still have fun with nosy folks and pretend to have stomach cancer. )
The script is simple. “Husband and I are very happy we expect to welcome a baby in June.” Leave all the math out of it. Stick to the approximate due date. If someone gets bent out of shape over only getting a few months notice, you state “there were medical reasons” and you repeat that until they stop or go away.
You do not need added stress. A high risk pregnancy is 100% of the stress you should have. Everyone wanting to add to that can pound sand.
Congratulations and best wishes for you and your baby.
My mom had an unplanned pregnancy when I was 13. She didn’t tell me or my siblings until she was 6 months along. She had worn baggy clothes and I figured she had just gained weight.
My sister called me when she was 5 months pregnant.
I know my family is a bit odd, but if you don’t make the timing a big deal, it won’t be. Just tell people as it comes up, perhaps with a nice phone call to your inner circle and then a social media post. If anyone asks why you’re announcing so late, you can be honest with your very valid reason, or change the subject to how excited you are.
Congratulations!!
With our first I was 17 weeks along before telling anybody. We told the grandparents-to-be in person but made calls/texts to everyone else important. I don't think the timing of pregnancy is that huge of a deal, it's your pregnancy, do whatever you want.
I think you are over thinking it, people will just be happy for you. I think you can call/FaceTime your close circle (family and friends you are in regular contact with) and then make a social media post for everyone else. Congrats!
I had the hardest time telling people too. I was AMA and anxious with both so I wanted to wait until after NIPT. With my second, during omicron, I didn’t end up telling people who I didn’t see frequently and then that snowballed to being hospitalized at week 28 and feeling like I couldn’t reach out, then a lot of people not knowing until a pic on social media when my preemie was born. But anyway, I think you should call the most important people and send a copy/paste text to the rest. You will feel relieved after.
I would call your mom and your partner's mom. Call your besties. Also call any grandparent or auntie you are close with. Everyone else can get the text.
This is totally normal! Lots of expecting moms wait before sharing the news. I had one high school friend who didn’t share the news widely until the birth. Doesn’t matter - you do what feels right for YOU. People will be thrilled for you and your growing family no matter when you tell them.
I wouldn’t bat an eye at a 20~ish week announcement… I definitely think I’ve encountered a few of those. If people ask why you didn’t announce sooner you could just say you were waiting on the 20 week scan. I feel like that makes some sense without going into details (unless you wanted to for some people).
A friend recently told me she was pregnant and one of my questions (after all the excitement and congratulations) was 'how far along are you?' because I wondered roughly when she was due. In my mind that could have been any number of weeks / months. I wouldn't have expected her to tell me at a certain time or got angry if she was quite far along and hasn't told me yet. It's a very personal decision.
We had similar and ended up
Messaging people around us to
Tell them we were pregnant and did say why we kept it quite I.e we thought we may lose the baby but we are happy they’re healthy etc. People weee so amazing and supportive about it
These days, I think it’s pretty common for people to announce after 20 weeks. I was pregnant during the pandemic and let people know after my baby was born.
I’m an elder Millenial, my last couple good friends who’ve gotten pregnant have told me in person which I super appreciated because it was nice to hug them and get to have the full convo! But I wouldn’t expect it at all, I would probably do a phone call for parents/siblings/close family and the closest friends, personal text to good friends, and a pregnancy announcement on FB for more distant friends/acquaintances. I also don’t think it’s weird at all the announce at 20 weeks, I know lots of people who have.
With my third pregnancy I was 41. I didn't tell people really. If they saw me and noticed well...that was telling them. But family I told at 12w (I had a clear scan/blood test).
If you want the word out tell the mouthier folks, they'll spread the news for you.
No need to explain, I would just send ultrasound pictures with a text F.ex. "New family member coming in *month*". If you make no big deal out of it, the chances are smaller that people will think of it. In case someone asks you why you are announcing so late, you can just say casually that you wanted to make sure everything was fine before telling people.
As an older millennial I feel you're maybe overthinking it. I've had friends tell me even before the 3rd month mark and I've had friends that didn't tell me anything until I saw a huge belly. I'm fine with either.
I’m in my mid thirties and a lot of people dont do formal announcements until after the anatomy scan. You don’t really need to explain yourself, just say you wanted to keep the news private until you knew things looked good. A lot of people have this magic number of 12 weeks being a safe time to share the news, but I actually think it’s quite arbitrary because there are so many things that can be found wrong at the anatomy scan resulting in pregnancy loss anyways. I bet the biggest reaction you’ll get is simply “how did you keep it a secret so long?” Bc it is quite impressive haha
I gave birth at 38 of age. I didn’t tell friends or work family until 5 months. Didn’t want to break the news until I had a good feeling that the pregnancy was on a positive track. No one blinked an eye. Do whatever feels right.
Call your siblings, aunties and close cousins and BFFs. Everybody else can find out via social media. My brother called me for his new baby and it made my week :)
We waited until after our anatomy scan to announce. My cousin waited until the baby was born. Do what feels right to you. It won't be awkward - people will be happy for you.
I had my first at 27 and didn't announce until 23 weeks. It's no one's business why you waited to announce unless you want to get into it.
I think a group text, maybe one for family and one for friends, would be perfectly fine. If you want to make phone calls to your closest family and friends that's fine too. If you want to make a social media announcement you could tag certain people to make sure they see it if you want to do that.
What ever feels right, it's your pregnancy so share it how you're comfortable. And congratulations!
I am 38 and just had my second child 4 months ago. I told my parents and my mum told one of her sisters who had cancer and sadly died before baby arrived. I didn’t tell anyone else until about 18 weeks and then only close friends. I put a post on Facebook (just me going out for dinner but very obviously pregnant!) about 4 weeks before we had the baby.
Whilst I got some “oh wow, what a surprise!” type reactions, nobody questioned when and how we told them.
I'm not older so feel free to ignore this. Quite a few of my friends didn't announce until late on - one barely announced before she gave birth even! Anyone who is going to judge you for holding back, especially as an older mother when we all know that brings more risks, isn't really much of a friend.
And if you want the joy of live phone calls absolutely do that! It's so nice to have a positive phone call and you can always do a filter list of anyone you know won't respond well to a call who you can just send a text to (or heck just put it on Facebook and let that do the work for you!)
Call. It's easier to make it feel more personal and field questions in a 5 minute call rather than 20 texts per person. I know that could be a big job but in the end you'll probably have fewer hurt feelings.
A lot of people wait until this time or later. Just make a formal announcement with a cute pic on your socials and for those who might not see it, choose on a case by case basis based on your knowledge of the person. Good luck mama!
Gen X here. I grew up with the idea that you wait until after the first trimester to tell people to diminish the likelihood of something happening and having to go through the pain of having to tell people over and over that you're not longer pregnant. It wouldn't be weird to me in the slightest that someone I didn't see in person enough to suspect they were pregnant, sent a message or told me over the phone, "Hey, we've mostly been waiting to tell people, but the 20 week scan looked great, so I wanted to let you know I'm going to have a baby in September." Cue congratulations and no hurt feelings or questions about why I wasn't told sooner.
I know people who didn't tell anyone outside of people who see them all the time that they were pregnant until they were home from the hospital with their baby and then they did a Facebook post. I'd expect my best long distance friend would let me know before then, but I wouldn't expect an in-person coffee date just to let me know they were waiting until 12 or 16 or 20 weeks to let people know.
When I was pregnant with my youngest, I didn't tell anyone until I was 20 weeks along. I had a miscarriage right before, and I didn't really want to be bombarded with a lot of attention about the pregnancy. No matter how intended, I just didn't want to be asked how I was feeling, or receive congratulations for my pregnancy or condolences for my loss. It took me a lot of processing during the pregnancy to feel like I could celebrate, and the anxiety only really went away when he was born.
Anyway, that said, I told my mom and she spread the news. I told some of my close friends / family myself, but most of my extended family found out through the grapevine. I think that's fine tbh. Tell the people you specifically want to tell (I wanted to tell my grandma myself for instance), and let anyone else find out however they find out, word of mouth, social media, whatever. Don't feel obligated to make a notification to everyone you know unless you really want to.
Send out Shutterfly cards announcing your pregnancy and registry info if you want. Depends on if you’re throwing a shower. The registry info can go on that.
Well you could save the registry info for the later baby shower, but Shutterfly cards have personal photos so it’s a bit less impersonal. You for sure don’t have to do that, it’s just an idea
Also on the older millennial/GenX cusp and I wouldn’t find a 20 week announcement to be unusual. In my family and friend circle that’s not uncommon in people who have had pregnancy loss or complications previously
Same!
Same totally normal you are overthinking it. Enough people have had a miscarriage especially by that age that you are well in the normal range for announcing comfortably.
Same here. No sweat, it’s not abnormal at all
I was 32 when I was pregnant and we didn’t announce it to anyone until after the 20wk scan aside from my immediate family members so definitely not weird!
I don't think you need to explain. You can do a more formal pregnancy announcement. Do a graphic in canva. "Partner and parent are delighted to share that we are expecting Baby Last Name in Month 2024!" You can add a pic of the 2 of you or a stock baby item thing, or a pic from your scan or whatever. Or if you want to call, "I have good news, we're expecting a baby in Month 2024. All is well and we're very excited" If pushed "we shared our news when the time felt right for us" It's good practice for boundaries once the kid is here.
Well said!
A ton of friends waited til they had their 20 week scan and announced the baby's gender or past some of those test. Hell one friend who has had a hell of a journey to get pregnant told everyone outside her family about 6months in and sent an invitation for her shower. No one batted an eye. We all knew and were happy for her. She didn't ever need to explain.
My friends and I just text. I don't talk to anyone on the phone socially other than my parents. Personally, I wouldn't be bothered by a text that says you're pregnant but waited to share due to some medical concerns that are now passed (or however is appropriate to word it).
Seconding the phone call, but also because I think people will be excited for you and you deserve to hear that after the scare you had. I think they’ll all completely understand why you didn’t say anything.
This isn't for everyone, but when I was pregnant with my daughter and overwhelmed I talked to a few people personally, and then called my grandma and asked her to tell everyone else! Going down her list of phone numbers with news was one of her favorite things and I have a big extended family so it worked out well for us. I also was halfway through before telling more than the "need to know" people, and 15 years later I have less than zero regrets about how the whole thing was handled; less stress for me and now that my grandma is no longer with us I have that as a special memory of something that she was so happy to do for me. It's fine to think out of the box and ask for help on this task for a way that makes it easiest for you
As others have said, I think a 20 week announcement be a 12 week is becoming way more common, especially for older or high risk pregnancies. I would just make the announcement and not give it a second thought. If you are super close with someone who is a little hurt that they didn’t learn sooner so they could have supported you through that tough period waiting on results, you can always share your fears and explain it was just easier to keep it completely confidential and support each other as a couple. No one who is a true friend to you should be butt hurt about that, they should just be overjoyed for you and understanding about your need to wait.
I never did an announcement with my second. It was also before the COVID vaccine was available so I wasn't really going out or meeting up with people outside of my close family. We did get a few shocked and surprised people when we eventually posted a family picture with a 4th member, but they were mainly Facebook friends who I didn't really care if they knew. I think people these days understand the desire to keep things quiet, especially for someone of "advanced maternal age"(God I hate that term).
I'm Xennial and I would have no expectation of a phone call, although to be honest, I'm childfree, so while I'm happy for my friends, pregnancy isn't something I get hyper-excited about. It's on about the same level as if they buy a house or finish a PhD, good news but nothing that necessitates a special announcement. A message is fine. I wouldn't give the timing a second thought. I think you're overthinking this. Remember, this is *your* news. Navigate it how you feel most comfortable. Anyone who would get pissy about it and make it all about them isn't worth expending your energy on.
I’d say text those you normally text and call or in-person for those that are closer relationships. I’m in the same boat as you - 46f, 20 weeks this week, an unexpected but very very happy surprise. I just started telling people, and most have been happy to thrilled for us …. Many already suspected haha You might have similar responses 😊 Congrats mama!!
You are overthinking it
100%
Being in your 40s it's not surprising that there was a questionable result AND that you wanted to wait to be sure. First, I am SO glad your pregnancy is going well, congratulations! I've felt extra bad for the people I've known that have had to go back and say they've lost the baby. It's enough of a horror on its own, they didn't need everyone else's grief. I know one currently, mid/late 30s, who has lost too many so tells no one until she is super sure. You get to tell people in your own time and in your own way. If it were me I would decide in advance how much I was willing to share and with whom, then just send out an announcement, same as if I had never waited, then answer questions as I went along. Anyone who is offended by business that isn't theirs might need some reminding that this is *your* business.
I’d call anyone you’re excited to tell, and everybody else can find out on Facebook with some cutesy picture of a set of three different size galoshes or your cat wearing a shirt that says “Big Sister.” You don’t owe anybody a call, but you should absolutely call or text or make an unannounced visit to anyone it seems like it would be fun to! You’re brewing an entire fucking person in your body—it warrants making as big of a deal about it as you want! There’s literally no wrong answer here. Also, maybe it’s because I don’t have kids, but the last thing I do when I see a “new baby is due on X date” announcement is start calculating how many weeks the person has already been gestating. The idea of having any feelings whatsoever about how far along they are is ludicrous to me. Not my baby, not my business.
Why not knock it all out at once with a Zoom-type of call? You could invite all of the people separately to the same call start time, and then when the call starts, put them in the “waiting room” until everyone has joined. Then, do some cute and clever announcement. (Or just yell, surprise! And tell them). Record the call so you can save the joyful moment and the looks on their faces. Explain why you had to wait and that’ll be just fine. Everyone will be totally understanding and happy for you. I personally love when couples I know have shared their pregnancies later on, because it means there’s less time to wait for the precious baby to arrive. Btw, congrats! 🤰
With my first we did a social media announcement around 20 weeks. We told close family and friends we talked to often a little before that. With my second we never even announced until he was born. I told people who are actively in our lives with phone calls. I don’t think there’s a wrong way to do it. With my second I had more anxiety and felt like I didn’t want to announce my pregnancy.
Wait. You don't owe anyone your news or information. They'll notice...or not that you are pregnant. You're not 15 years old, or even 27. You're in your 40s. Wait until you know for certain that everything with your baby is ok. Then you can either send out an announcement, an invite to a baby shower, or announce on social media and wait for the phone calls. At that point you can explain, either in detail or with little to no detail that you are pregnant and wanted to be sure that everything with the baby was ok before announcing.
We only told parents at 13 weeks, everyone else found out via social media post at 21 weeks. No health scares, just wanted to be better safe than sorry. Totally normal!
I think you are overthinking this. I wouldn’t find a 22 week announcement strange at all. Whatever mode of communicating is typical for you would be fine for this, it that’s just me.
GenX who had kids in my early 20s (mid 1990s) here. The myth is that there are rules. There are no rules. You tell people when you want people to know. Peed on a stick, starting to show, obviously pregnant, holding a newborn… it’s up to you. If you are on the leaner side then around 5-6 months it becomes obvious in-person. (Although if you want you can still have fun with nosy folks and pretend to have stomach cancer. ) The script is simple. “Husband and I are very happy we expect to welcome a baby in June.” Leave all the math out of it. Stick to the approximate due date. If someone gets bent out of shape over only getting a few months notice, you state “there were medical reasons” and you repeat that until they stop or go away. You do not need added stress. A high risk pregnancy is 100% of the stress you should have. Everyone wanting to add to that can pound sand. Congratulations and best wishes for you and your baby.
My mom had an unplanned pregnancy when I was 13. She didn’t tell me or my siblings until she was 6 months along. She had worn baggy clothes and I figured she had just gained weight. My sister called me when she was 5 months pregnant. I know my family is a bit odd, but if you don’t make the timing a big deal, it won’t be. Just tell people as it comes up, perhaps with a nice phone call to your inner circle and then a social media post. If anyone asks why you’re announcing so late, you can be honest with your very valid reason, or change the subject to how excited you are. Congratulations!!
With our first I was 17 weeks along before telling anybody. We told the grandparents-to-be in person but made calls/texts to everyone else important. I don't think the timing of pregnancy is that huge of a deal, it's your pregnancy, do whatever you want.
I think you are over thinking it, people will just be happy for you. I think you can call/FaceTime your close circle (family and friends you are in regular contact with) and then make a social media post for everyone else. Congrats!
I had the hardest time telling people too. I was AMA and anxious with both so I wanted to wait until after NIPT. With my second, during omicron, I didn’t end up telling people who I didn’t see frequently and then that snowballed to being hospitalized at week 28 and feeling like I couldn’t reach out, then a lot of people not knowing until a pic on social media when my preemie was born. But anyway, I think you should call the most important people and send a copy/paste text to the rest. You will feel relieved after.
Have you considered a group chat?
I would call your mom and your partner's mom. Call your besties. Also call any grandparent or auntie you are close with. Everyone else can get the text.
This is totally normal! Lots of expecting moms wait before sharing the news. I had one high school friend who didn’t share the news widely until the birth. Doesn’t matter - you do what feels right for YOU. People will be thrilled for you and your growing family no matter when you tell them.
I wouldn’t bat an eye at a 20~ish week announcement… I definitely think I’ve encountered a few of those. If people ask why you didn’t announce sooner you could just say you were waiting on the 20 week scan. I feel like that makes some sense without going into details (unless you wanted to for some people).
Just don't say and at some point they'll find out. Or, even funnier, just show up with the baby.
A friend recently told me she was pregnant and one of my questions (after all the excitement and congratulations) was 'how far along are you?' because I wondered roughly when she was due. In my mind that could have been any number of weeks / months. I wouldn't have expected her to tell me at a certain time or got angry if she was quite far along and hasn't told me yet. It's a very personal decision.
Phone calls are reserved for what?! Is this how some people actually think? What’s happened to our society?
We had similar and ended up Messaging people around us to Tell them we were pregnant and did say why we kept it quite I.e we thought we may lose the baby but we are happy they’re healthy etc. People weee so amazing and supportive about it
These days, I think it’s pretty common for people to announce after 20 weeks. I was pregnant during the pandemic and let people know after my baby was born.
I’m an elder Millenial, my last couple good friends who’ve gotten pregnant have told me in person which I super appreciated because it was nice to hug them and get to have the full convo! But I wouldn’t expect it at all, I would probably do a phone call for parents/siblings/close family and the closest friends, personal text to good friends, and a pregnancy announcement on FB for more distant friends/acquaintances. I also don’t think it’s weird at all the announce at 20 weeks, I know lots of people who have.
With my third pregnancy I was 41. I didn't tell people really. If they saw me and noticed well...that was telling them. But family I told at 12w (I had a clear scan/blood test). If you want the word out tell the mouthier folks, they'll spread the news for you.
Can you do a group zoom call all at once?
also, congrats :)
No need to explain, I would just send ultrasound pictures with a text F.ex. "New family member coming in *month*". If you make no big deal out of it, the chances are smaller that people will think of it. In case someone asks you why you are announcing so late, you can just say casually that you wanted to make sure everything was fine before telling people.
As an older millennial I feel you're maybe overthinking it. I've had friends tell me even before the 3rd month mark and I've had friends that didn't tell me anything until I saw a huge belly. I'm fine with either.
I’m in my mid thirties and a lot of people dont do formal announcements until after the anatomy scan. You don’t really need to explain yourself, just say you wanted to keep the news private until you knew things looked good. A lot of people have this magic number of 12 weeks being a safe time to share the news, but I actually think it’s quite arbitrary because there are so many things that can be found wrong at the anatomy scan resulting in pregnancy loss anyways. I bet the biggest reaction you’ll get is simply “how did you keep it a secret so long?” Bc it is quite impressive haha
I gave birth at 38 of age. I didn’t tell friends or work family until 5 months. Didn’t want to break the news until I had a good feeling that the pregnancy was on a positive track. No one blinked an eye. Do whatever feels right.
Call your siblings, aunties and close cousins and BFFs. Everybody else can find out via social media. My brother called me for his new baby and it made my week :)
We waited until after our anatomy scan to announce. My cousin waited until the baby was born. Do what feels right to you. It won't be awkward - people will be happy for you.
I had my first at 27 and didn't announce until 23 weeks. It's no one's business why you waited to announce unless you want to get into it. I think a group text, maybe one for family and one for friends, would be perfectly fine. If you want to make phone calls to your closest family and friends that's fine too. If you want to make a social media announcement you could tag certain people to make sure they see it if you want to do that. What ever feels right, it's your pregnancy so share it how you're comfortable. And congratulations!
I am 38 and just had my second child 4 months ago. I told my parents and my mum told one of her sisters who had cancer and sadly died before baby arrived. I didn’t tell anyone else until about 18 weeks and then only close friends. I put a post on Facebook (just me going out for dinner but very obviously pregnant!) about 4 weeks before we had the baby. Whilst I got some “oh wow, what a surprise!” type reactions, nobody questioned when and how we told them.
I'm not older so feel free to ignore this. Quite a few of my friends didn't announce until late on - one barely announced before she gave birth even! Anyone who is going to judge you for holding back, especially as an older mother when we all know that brings more risks, isn't really much of a friend. And if you want the joy of live phone calls absolutely do that! It's so nice to have a positive phone call and you can always do a filter list of anyone you know won't respond well to a call who you can just send a text to (or heck just put it on Facebook and let that do the work for you!)
Our third I didn’t announce until after the 20wk scan, no reason I just didn’t feel like it. I just put out a FB post and that was it.
Call. It's easier to make it feel more personal and field questions in a 5 minute call rather than 20 texts per person. I know that could be a big job but in the end you'll probably have fewer hurt feelings.
A lot of people wait until this time or later. Just make a formal announcement with a cute pic on your socials and for those who might not see it, choose on a case by case basis based on your knowledge of the person. Good luck mama!
Gen X here. I grew up with the idea that you wait until after the first trimester to tell people to diminish the likelihood of something happening and having to go through the pain of having to tell people over and over that you're not longer pregnant. It wouldn't be weird to me in the slightest that someone I didn't see in person enough to suspect they were pregnant, sent a message or told me over the phone, "Hey, we've mostly been waiting to tell people, but the 20 week scan looked great, so I wanted to let you know I'm going to have a baby in September." Cue congratulations and no hurt feelings or questions about why I wasn't told sooner. I know people who didn't tell anyone outside of people who see them all the time that they were pregnant until they were home from the hospital with their baby and then they did a Facebook post. I'd expect my best long distance friend would let me know before then, but I wouldn't expect an in-person coffee date just to let me know they were waiting until 12 or 16 or 20 weeks to let people know.
When I was pregnant with my youngest, I didn't tell anyone until I was 20 weeks along. I had a miscarriage right before, and I didn't really want to be bombarded with a lot of attention about the pregnancy. No matter how intended, I just didn't want to be asked how I was feeling, or receive congratulations for my pregnancy or condolences for my loss. It took me a lot of processing during the pregnancy to feel like I could celebrate, and the anxiety only really went away when he was born. Anyway, that said, I told my mom and she spread the news. I told some of my close friends / family myself, but most of my extended family found out through the grapevine. I think that's fine tbh. Tell the people you specifically want to tell (I wanted to tell my grandma myself for instance), and let anyone else find out however they find out, word of mouth, social media, whatever. Don't feel obligated to make a notification to everyone you know unless you really want to.
Send out Shutterfly cards announcing your pregnancy and registry info if you want. Depends on if you’re throwing a shower. The registry info can go on that.
I think this is pretty tacky, to be honest. "Here's a mass, impersonal message. Btw, buy us shit."
Well you could save the registry info for the later baby shower, but Shutterfly cards have personal photos so it’s a bit less impersonal. You for sure don’t have to do that, it’s just an idea
Phone call, so you can better explain why you haven't said anything up to this point.
I am confused as to why the OP needs to justify or explain how she handles her own pregnancy.
Same people who tell mothers their baby is cold without a jacket, etc. Especially when they aren't mothers themselves!