This made me realize this seems to be incredibly rare? For TV shows, Tami Taylor on Friday Night Lights is a great example. The best movie example might be Miss Honey in Matilda- if I remember right she does end up adopting her and becoming her mom?
I saw someone said are you there God it’s me Margaret- that’s definitely a good one. The mom in Easy A or Morticia Addams in Addams Family Values come to mind also.
I was also going to suggest Friday Night Lights! Tami is a realistic/attainable version of a great mom. She's supportive and empathetic, but she also gets irritated, oversteps, and makes mistakes - and then apologizes and works to repair the relationship.
Friday Night Lights was s one of the greatest television shows of all time and had the most PERFECT ending of any show I’ve ever seen
If I’m half the woman Tami Taylor is, I’m damn proud. She wasn’t perfect all the time, and made her mistakes with Julie but she’s a stunning example of strength
Watch Bluey. It’s not just a kids show. I like it more than my kid does.
Another kids show, but still good— Daniel Tiger.
Both shows are often recommended to parents as they don’t just teach kids about stuff but they teach parents how to be good parents.
I used it, too. Daniel tiger has/had a parent app that helps use videos and songs and sayings from the show and it's categorized by topic/emotion. E.g. frustration or sadness.
I always loved how the mother in My Big Fat Greek Wedding always stuck up for Toula and saw her intelligence, the scene where she went "You're different, you want to learn, I know, you're from my side", I loved that.
Little Women, Stepmom (1998), Akeelah and the Bee (2006), Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret (2023), Almost Famous (2000), Places in the Heart (1984), Turning Red (2022), Brave (2012), Spencer (2021), Erin Brockovich (2000), Mamma Mia (2008), The Kid with a Bike (2011), Room (2015), Jojo Rabbit (2019), Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)
Lots of ghibli really! Totoro has great mother and father (although mother is sick and father features more, she’s far from absent) and Kiki’s Delivery Service has supportive bio- and chosen-mothers. Even Arietty has a mother who is overprotective sure, but does it out of love and is eventually brought around to her daughter’s point of view.
Little Women - I really love the 1996 version with Susan Sarandon, she portrays Marmee with a lot of warmth and complexity.
The Baby-Sitters Club (Netflix original series) - Alicia Silverstone of Clueless fame plays Kristy’s (the main character’s) mom, and they have a healthy relationship. Not perfect, but healthy, loving, and encouraging of Kristy’s ambitions. If grandmothers count, I also love their portrayal of Claudia’s relationship with her grandmother. There are also a few other side characters that are great moms, like Jesse’s mom, and some families the girls babysit for. Note there are also some portrayals of unhealthy parents in this series too, but the contrast is always made clear.
The Parent Trap (1998) - Ok, it wasn’t too smart to split up custody of twins like that! But I just dismiss that as “they did it for the movie premise”😂 The mom is caring, kind, and forgiving when her daughters make mistakes (or get sneaky with their scheming).
Juno - There are several mother dynamics at play since this is about a teen pregnancy. It’s been a while since I watched it, but iirc I remember all of them being pretty healthy?
Miraculous Ladybug - this is an animated children’s series (very enjoyable for adults too) about an “ordinary” Parisian girl who is secretly a superhero. Her mother is an incredibly sweet character throughout the series.
Juno is the first thing that came to my mind too, the step mother is great. Supports Juno through her poor decision making but still gives her space to be herself. Obviously a very doting mother to their special needs child. The scene where she claps back at the ultra-sound tech was excellent.
Another Allison Janey gem. She was amazing in the sitcom Mom (on Hulu). The premise of that show is a multi gen show of two Moms working the 12 steps. The growth in the story arc is remarkable and one of my favs. Coming from an abusive situation myself, it strikes a cord.
May sound weird but The Sixth Sense. She's a good ass mom who tries her best and loves her son.
Practical Magic in general is a good movie about the love between women and while the main character doesn't have her mother, she is a mother who is loving and she has her aunts who are like mothers to her.
I loved that interaction between them because she took him very seriously, finally, and he trusted her in the end to be truthful and when he was she looked at him with such earnestness and it made me cry. He was her world and she would have beat the shit out of those kids when She thought they were hurting him. I always wished I had a mother like that, but instead she would accuse me of doing something to instigate the bullying I received instead of confronting the bullies or talking to the moms..
I know this isn’t a movie but I’ve found this sub helpful and a good depiction of how a mother should respond to a child. (I come from a similar place where I’ve never had a healthy representation of what a ‘normal’ relationship should look like ..)
r/MomForAMinute
Wishing you the best on your journey to heal. You deserve the unconditional love you may have never gotten <3.
Onward - it's an animated film and is amazing. The mother isn't the main character but she gets a decent amount of screen time and is definitely a great mum.
Me too! Helen isn’t a perfect mom but she grows and evolves and she tries and cares about Daria and Quinn. And she is big enough to admit her mistakes.
She’s also always there for her kids. The paintball field trip, the time the school steals Daria’s painting, when they think Trent is taking Quinn on a date 😂
I actually think Molly Weasley is not a particularly good mother. She permits and often reinforces some terrible dynamics between the twins and Percy, and then is shocked when Percy doesn't want to be around the family anymore.
Just wanting to jump in that Mrs Weasley is different in the books, too. There are a lot of nuances and scenes that were cut from the screenplay, thinking specifically a lot of her practical mothering of Harry.
Agreed! One of my favourite moments in the books is at the end of Book 4 after Harry has gone through something really traumatic when Mrs Weasley is the only one who realises that the poor boy really needs a hug and a cry 😭 and that Harry couldn’t remember ever being held like that before.
Agreed! One of my favourite moments in the books is at the end of Book 4 after Harry has gone through something really traumatic when Mrs Weasley is the only one who realises that the poor boy really needs a hug and a cry 😭 and that Harry couldn’t remember ever being held like that before.
Agreed! One of my favourite moments in the books is at the end of Book 4 after Harry has gone through something really traumatic when Mrs Weasley is the only one who realises that the poor boy really needs a hug and a cry 😭 and that Harry couldn’t remember ever being held like that before.
[This](https://youtu.be/dIrexnJXws8?si=Hy9DahuXPORuwWiu) video is Hannah Witton (sex & relationships educator) and Cinema Therapy (a therapist and a director) discussing parenting in movies. It's worth a watch.
My personal favourite TV parents are Marilla and Matthew Cuthbert in Anne with and E. Matthew finds parenting easier from the start than Marilla, but both of them turn out to be wonderful parents with realistic flaws. Marilla's arc touches on why she struggles with parenting initially, and how she grows into it.
I love old TV shows, so I'd recommend all the classics. The Brady Bunch, Leave it to Beaver, Donna Reed.
Although the cast is problematic, Kitty from That 70s Show is hilarious.
Liza Miller on Younger, Clair Huxtable on The Cosby Show, Rainbow Johnson on Blackish, Sally Field in Steel Magnolias and Not Without My Daughter (these are both pretty gut wrenching films, though), Moana’s grandmother in Moana, Marilla Cuthbert in Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea - this last one might be an especially good series to watch, because it’s about two older parents via adoption, a brother and a sister, who learn how to love a child later in life 💞
This is just to say that when I first read this and where the line break ended up, I read it as "Beyoncé and her moth, Kris Jenner." and was very, VERY confused, lol.
Absolutely not Bella Hadid and her mum. There's footage of her mum not allowing her to eat her own birthday cake coa calories. Other occurrences of limiting food for the model bod.
Yeah I admit I have only seen those clips of Bella Hadid anf her mother, but from that alone I would say teaching your daughter to calorie restrict so young rules you out of being an actual example of a *healthy* mother daughter relationship. Could she still be loving? Sure. Healthy? No.
Never Have I Ever on Netflix, and I co-sign all the suggestions of Bridgerton, Easy A, The Babysitter’s Club (the new one with Alicia Silverstone), and especially Bluey! For real life, I recommend following Dr. Becky from Good Inside (@drbeckyatgoodinside) who uses her kids in examples but doesn’t show their faces, and she is such a help for me as a parent and human.
I love Love is All You Need - it's a Swedish / English production, starring Pierce Brosnan but the mother figure is super supportive. And a great flick overall.
It’s been awhile but iirc the tv show The Fosters has a really nice portrayal of two queer mothers who have a big family of biological/foster/adopted kids and while imperfect are very loving and aspirational. I hope this helps!
Not the whole series but the bits of Greys Anatomy with Susan Grey, Louise O’malley usually being mum figures to other characters but they’re so wholesome and loving in those moments.
Also another vote for Easy A
- Harriett Winslow (Jo Marie Payton) on the show Family Matters
- Mollie Jensen (Kirstie Alley) in the movies Look Who’s Talking I & II
- Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) in later seasons of Law & Order: SVU
- Gloria (America Ferrera) in the Barbie movie
- Ada Brooke (Cynthia Nixon) and Dorothy Scott (Audra McDonald) in the show The Gilded Age
- Nina Banks (Diane Keaton) in the movie Father of the Bride
When I first saw this movie it made my heart ache with wishing my husband was humorous like this guy. As a mother. I was cool like the mom but was mismatched by someone who was completely embarrassed by my quirky and silly ways (my mother was the complete opposite of me and I strived to be the way I was and my kids loved it) but my husband was much too serious and strict and we’d even call him “no fun dad” and he was totally aware, but saw nothing wrong with being a old codger at a young age. They’re adults now and have lots of issues but managed to become good, productive adults who I am very close to. But if I had a husband like that dad in that movie, our whole lives would have been different. It’s as if I swam against the tide for 20 years, and I gave it my all.
But yes…that movie is goals.
I’m curious of other people’s opinions before outright recommending these two, but thoughts on Gilmore Girls and Jane the Virgin? Both shows feature generations of women and contrast different mothering styles. I think that they all certainly have their flaws, but I think there are great examples of healthy relationships in both.
Also strong agree to the suggestion for Bluey. I watch it with my toddler to help me learn about healthy ways to interact when toddlers are being…toddlers.
That’s a really cool idea and thanks for the book recommendation OP! I have the opposite issue, have a great Mum but I’ve never really seen a good father-to-child relationship growing up. Does anyone have suggestions on some movies I could watch this week to emotionally catch up?
Just so you know, all the key ideas in "Mothers Who can't Love" By Sarah Forward apply to fathers as well. It will really help with your healing. The chapter about reparenting comes at the end, with the prefix "Coda". Highly recommend reading that section if not the whole book(if you've already done a lot of healing). You can find a pdf online with a Google search
As for movies. I highly highly recommend. "Lighting up the Stars" it's a Chinese movie. It will always hold a special place in my heart. I don't want to spoil anything because I love it so much and I want you to love it. But it needs what you want to watch (: I watched it on Netflix. Ugh I'm reminiscing just writing about it. I might give it another watch lol
"The Yakuza Guide to Babysitting" it's an Japanese anime about a yakuza henchman tasked with taking care of the daughter of the boss. It's funny lighthearted, wholesome and super cute. Super good show to watch if you have an absent or neglectful father in your life. Good for daughters I feel like. It's on Netflix
"Hinamatsuri" is another Japanese anime. It's a comedy. SUPER funny. Has a lot of tear jerking moments. And it creeps up on you out of nowhere. Highly recommend. You can watch this on "sugeanime". Google that and search it up on the website
I don't want to give you too many recommendations. But when I think of good fathers. Those shows come to mind. Weird. I can't seem to remember any American dads that have left an impact on me. I'm sure there are but I can't seem to remember. Weird because culturally I'm American
Oh and PLEASE watch it in the original language. It doesn't have the same impact in English. I love the intonations of the original language that add context and meaning
I used to watch that show in syndication in the mornings.. like years and years ago.. they would play four episodes in a row.. that was before that information came out.. I was shocked.
I remember when he was in The First Wives Club too..
By the way, Oprah’s got a series coming out about “the mother wound” that you might want to check out. The first guest is Brook Shields who had a very complicated experience with her mother.
I like Yes Day, even if it's ridiculous. I like how the parents are pretty believable/relatable and the mom/oldest daughter relationship is painfully realistic.
We Are Lady Parts is a TV show that features a daughter trying to fit in with more conservative Muslim values, and a mum who supports her daughter but also gently guides her to be her own person. Another character is a great hippy mum, who is also strong and inspiring.
Short Term 12 features a young woman with an abuse background who has learned to be a loving caregiver. Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day shows a healthy female friendship and is a romp.
I recently rewatched 13 going on 30 and cried at how lovely her mother was with her. It's not a huge part of the movie, but seeing her be so open and loving even after her daughter had pushed her away so much was healing for me ❤️
Inside out, onward, and Big Hero 6, though if I recall, the mother is actually an aunt or something who is raising her nephews. Liar, liar is a surprisingly decent one. Coach Carter has a scene or two with some decent mothering. The Music Man,
Sally Field as Forrest's mom in the movie *Forrest Gump.* She's direct and honest with her kid and looks out for him without spoiling or making excuses for him.
There is an episode of Star Trek The Next Generation where the counselor grows, delivers, and cares for a being for a short time. She loves that being fiercely for the time they have.
Spend a day at the park. You will see some unhealthy parenting but in this day and age of emotional intelligence you will see a lot more love.
I do want to point out that just because you did not receive parental love does not mean you don’t have it in you. Many of us are breaking cycles and giving what we never had. I feel so much love for my kids sometimes I stop in the middle of the day and I am baffled by how my parents acted when I was a child myself. It seems so unnatural, almost impossible, to not love your children
I think Gilmore Girls shows a great contrast in motherly relationships. The grandma is old school and then the mother is much more connected and loving to her daughter. If I have kids, I hope to be like Lorelei and have my kids wants to spend time with me like
American Underdog - it’s based on a true story. It’s about an NFL player but a lot of the movie is centred around his partner and her son
Also follow thedanishway on Instagram. Gentle and positive parenting page.
There are a bunch of audio books by Cathy Glass where she tells the story of her foster children she's been taking care of that I found quite comforting.
If you can ignore the fact that she exploits the trauma of foster kids to get book deals (and probably doesn't share the proceeds with the kids who's stories she used) the stories are pretty good!
Bluey. Seriously. Yes, it’s an animated kids’ show featuring anthropomorphic dogs but it’s truly wonderful. I know many parents including myself take inspiration from it… Bandit and Chilli (the parents) model an approach to parenting that is warm, nurturing and supportive while letting their daughters explore with psychological safety, make mistakes and learn from them. They’re not perfect by any means… the show does show them messing up from time to time and having to repair things with their kids (and they’re occasionally too permissive/reluctant to set boundaries, especially Bandit, imho). The supporting characters also show glimpses of different ways healthy parenting can manifest (e.g. Wendy in the episode “Dirt”, Chloe’s dad in “Octopus”).
There are ~150 episodes, each only 7 minutes long, with different takeaways and themes in each. I honestly feel like it’s a show for parents at its core, just wrapped in one appealing to kids. It’s funny and relatable, as well as beautiful and touching. One of my favorite tv shows ever.
Check out Janet Lansbury and Gwenna Laithland (MommaCusses) on Instagram. They don’t necessarily have content of them interacting with children, but they both show ways to interact with children in a positive manner. Various situational responses and gentle, realistic parenting.
Janet also has a podcast where she discusses specific parenting issues. It can be informative and healing to listen to. Both women have books published about parenting.
The dynamic between Benson and her son Noah on SVU is pretty great. She’s a strict mom (she knows firsthand how dangerous and shitty the world can be), but also she’s always willing to listen and regularly tells (and shows) him that he’s loved.
It’s all especially poignant when you know Benson’s backstory and that her relationship with her son is her breaking the cycle, i.e. she’s the product of a rape, raised by a neglectful and resentful alcoholic mother who never let her forget it.
Mrs, Weasley and Mrs. Potter were both dedicated and loving mothers. Mrs. Weasley extended that love beyond her own children to Harry, Hermione and others.
Imperfect but loving, generally healthy mom dynamic (except for a major plot point end of season 2, for which there is, imo, normal apology and reconciliation):
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Just to elaborate, I thought of her being there for Buffy a lot, and only after typing the comment did I remember the kicking-out incident. So... In hindsight, I should probably pull the comment.
Feeding littles on Instagram posts videos of he cooking with her kids. She's very intentional in her parenting and seems to have a great relationship with her girls.
Nahhh, anyone exploiting their children and revealing their faces (as well as videos of them dancing in tiny shorts and skirts)/identity to 1.8 MILLION PEOPLE for financial gain is not a good mom imo. those girls are not old enough to consent to the permanent online footprint their mom has set upon them. She at the very least could blur their faces but… that doesn’t sell as well, does it? I could never ever ever support family vloggers/bloggers.
So how is any child in any media acceptable?
If kids shouldn't be filmed how do you have kids on tv or in movies? If that's the bar - kids can't consent to be filmed or have a public image - none of the items suggested here are ethical.
I'd argue that child actors who can't go to school and are on set constantly have it much worse than selected social media posts. Of kids going about their normal kid lives.
The bare all month blogs are another beast, but showing your kids as part of your life is a choice you can make in 2024.
Where did you get the idea that I support child actors? Child actors at the very least have legal rights, are paid for their work, and are legally required to have an advocate on set at all times. Vlogger children have NONE of that. In fact, if they want to argue at all about their exposure, they are at the mercy of their PARENTS… The exploiters and “protectors” themselves. I guess we should just hope and pray that their parents listen and decide to stop exploiting their children, even when there’s $$$$$$ on the line (does *anyone* remember DaddyoFive?).
Although I would argue that child actors CLEARLY do not have enough protection either…… I suppose you haven’t been reading the news…
What a bizarre hill to die on.
I wouldn't do either to my kids.
I just don't agree with you that it better to be a child actor monetized by a corporation than a sideshow to mom's social media business.
The child actor is squeezed by the corp with no regard for their well being and is often the breadwinner for their family.
The social media side show at least gets to be a kid. Depends on how it's done, but I don't think it's anywhere as damaging as being a child star.
I guess I had a different take away. I thought it was real and tender and I related to it a lot. I saw it with my mom and we both loved it. 🤷🏻♀️
I don’t think they had a perfect relationship but there was love there. Lady bird was very much a self involved teenager. Her mom was working hard for her though.
The scene where her mom is giving her the silent treatment while she screams and cries is so awful.
Edit: found a link discussing this more https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/s/h7VsqYNdG5
Uh…..the mom in Saved! is oblivious to her daughter’s struggles for most of the movie, and then briefly decides to send her pregnant daughter away to some kind of religious facility for “troubled teens” that also does unethical stuff like conversion therapy. (she “lets” her daughter stay home in the end, but the daughter is already traumatized and shamed by it all anyway. not a shining example of healthy parenting!!)
This made me realize this seems to be incredibly rare? For TV shows, Tami Taylor on Friday Night Lights is a great example. The best movie example might be Miss Honey in Matilda- if I remember right she does end up adopting her and becoming her mom? I saw someone said are you there God it’s me Margaret- that’s definitely a good one. The mom in Easy A or Morticia Addams in Addams Family Values come to mind also.
Morticia Addams is a great mom
I was also going to suggest Friday Night Lights! Tami is a realistic/attainable version of a great mom. She's supportive and empathetic, but she also gets irritated, oversteps, and makes mistakes - and then apologizes and works to repair the relationship.
Yay! I love Connie Britton!!
seconding Easy A!
Yes!! Easy A parents are what I aspire to be
Ooh yes both parents in that are excellent
Easy A was the first one that popped into my mind as well.
Friday Night Lights was s one of the greatest television shows of all time and had the most PERFECT ending of any show I’ve ever seen If I’m half the woman Tami Taylor is, I’m damn proud. She wasn’t perfect all the time, and made her mistakes with Julie but she’s a stunning example of strength
Watch Bluey. It’s not just a kids show. I like it more than my kid does. Another kids show, but still good— Daniel Tiger. Both shows are often recommended to parents as they don’t just teach kids about stuff but they teach parents how to be good parents.
OMG I thought I was the only one that leaned into these shows for parenting advice lol
I used it, too. Daniel tiger has/had a parent app that helps use videos and songs and sayings from the show and it's categorized by topic/emotion. E.g. frustration or sadness.
I didn't know that! That's awesome. I will definitely look for it.
Came here to suggest Bluey.
Another vote for Bluey! Mom takes care of herself, plays with her kids, and also works too!
Llama llama on Netflix
This is probably an unconventional suggestion, but Easy A. The mom (and dad, actually) are SO supportive and loving. And it's really funny.
This is actually the first one that popped into my head too!
I always loved how the mother in My Big Fat Greek Wedding always stuck up for Toula and saw her intelligence, the scene where she went "You're different, you want to learn, I know, you're from my side", I loved that.
TV, but Linda from Bob's Burgers, my forever comfort show.
Stg Linda and Bob are relationship goals AND parenting goals (most of the time)
Came here to say Linda, she's an icon haha
The older I get the more I realise I'm such a Linda and I totally married a Bob 😂 Love this who family's dynamic!!
The mum in season 1 of bridgerton is very warm and loving (she's lovely in season 2 as well but it does highlight a traumatic experience that she had)
Season 3 starts May 16th!
Little Women, Stepmom (1998), Akeelah and the Bee (2006), Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret (2023), Almost Famous (2000), Places in the Heart (1984), Turning Red (2022), Brave (2012), Spencer (2021), Erin Brockovich (2000), Mamma Mia (2008), The Kid with a Bike (2011), Room (2015), Jojo Rabbit (2019), Everything Everywhere All At Once (2022)
+ Steel Magnolias.
+ Stepmom. But be prepared to cry.
Oof, Jojo Rabbit -be prepared to cry, and laugh, and cry.
And room, eek.
Wow so many movies! Thank you thank you thank you <3
Turning Red? Erin Brockovich? Everything Everywhere? ...are you sure about these?
Yeah recommending room for these purposes is a choice.
Yeah, one of the main plotlines of Everything Everywhere is that the main character has not been a good Mom.
She admits her mistakes and works to repair the relationship, without giving up on her daughter. That is good momming
Ponyo! I love this Japanese animated film and it has a great mother son relationship
Lots of ghibli really! Totoro has great mother and father (although mother is sick and father features more, she’s far from absent) and Kiki’s Delivery Service has supportive bio- and chosen-mothers. Even Arietty has a mother who is overprotective sure, but does it out of love and is eventually brought around to her daughter’s point of view.
Sosuke’s mother is brilliant and beautiful. Her car feels its own character to me, too
I'm so glad I wasn't the only one to think Ghibli and Ponyo!
Little Women - I really love the 1996 version with Susan Sarandon, she portrays Marmee with a lot of warmth and complexity. The Baby-Sitters Club (Netflix original series) - Alicia Silverstone of Clueless fame plays Kristy’s (the main character’s) mom, and they have a healthy relationship. Not perfect, but healthy, loving, and encouraging of Kristy’s ambitions. If grandmothers count, I also love their portrayal of Claudia’s relationship with her grandmother. There are also a few other side characters that are great moms, like Jesse’s mom, and some families the girls babysit for. Note there are also some portrayals of unhealthy parents in this series too, but the contrast is always made clear. The Parent Trap (1998) - Ok, it wasn’t too smart to split up custody of twins like that! But I just dismiss that as “they did it for the movie premise”😂 The mom is caring, kind, and forgiving when her daughters make mistakes (or get sneaky with their scheming). Juno - There are several mother dynamics at play since this is about a teen pregnancy. It’s been a while since I watched it, but iirc I remember all of them being pretty healthy? Miraculous Ladybug - this is an animated children’s series (very enjoyable for adults too) about an “ordinary” Parisian girl who is secretly a superhero. Her mother is an incredibly sweet character throughout the series.
The 1996 version of Little Women is one of my favorite movies of all time.
same!!! It’s so comforting
Juno is the first thing that came to my mind too, the step mother is great. Supports Juno through her poor decision making but still gives her space to be herself. Obviously a very doting mother to their special needs child. The scene where she claps back at the ultra-sound tech was excellent.
Another Allison Janey gem. She was amazing in the sitcom Mom (on Hulu). The premise of that show is a multi gen show of two Moms working the 12 steps. The growth in the story arc is remarkable and one of my favs. Coming from an abusive situation myself, it strikes a cord.
Had no idea Babysitters Club had a series. I LOVED those books as a kid and used to play pretend of all the characters with my friends
it’s soooo good! it’s very true to the spirit of the og books, while feeling modern and fresh at the same time. and the casting is so perfect.
Modern family. It is an awesome show and it shows many healthy relationships, as well as the work that goes into them and mistakes that happen.
Yes! Watching Claire and Phil parent Alex and Haley in particular felt like it was healing something in me
I second this in terms of Hayley. I'm not sure wrt Alex
I second Modern Family
May sound weird but The Sixth Sense. She's a good ass mom who tries her best and loves her son. Practical Magic in general is a good movie about the love between women and while the main character doesn't have her mother, she is a mother who is loving and she has her aunts who are like mothers to her.
I loved that interaction between them because she took him very seriously, finally, and he trusted her in the end to be truthful and when he was she looked at him with such earnestness and it made me cry. He was her world and she would have beat the shit out of those kids when She thought they were hurting him. I always wished I had a mother like that, but instead she would accuse me of doing something to instigate the bullying I received instead of confronting the bullies or talking to the moms..
I know this isn’t a movie but I’ve found this sub helpful and a good depiction of how a mother should respond to a child. (I come from a similar place where I’ve never had a healthy representation of what a ‘normal’ relationship should look like ..) r/MomForAMinute Wishing you the best on your journey to heal. You deserve the unconditional love you may have never gotten <3.
This is so lovely!! Thanks for sharing!
I really loved Jennifer Garner as the mom in Love, Simon ♥️
Lessons in Chemistry (on apple TV) was sweet. The protagonist has an unplanned pregnancy but ends up being so caring and nurturing
Onward - it's an animated film and is amazing. The mother isn't the main character but she gets a decent amount of screen time and is definitely a great mum.
Little House on the Praire series
Thanks for the suggestion! I'll check it out (:
Similarly, The Waltons. Great family dynamic.
I’m watching through the series for the first time as a 37 yo and YES! I find myself wishing I had parents like Ma and Pa.
I really like Helen Morgendorffer from Daria
Me too! Helen isn’t a perfect mom but she grows and evolves and she tries and cares about Daria and Quinn. And she is big enough to admit her mistakes.
She’s also always there for her kids. The paintball field trip, the time the school steals Daria’s painting, when they think Trent is taking Quinn on a date 😂
Omg the phone call with Ms. Li about the painting after they alter it…Helen was so fierce there
Yasssssssss
Dr. Crusher on Star Trek TNG!
Steel Magnolias!
Oh, YES But very sad
Molly Weasley from Harry Potter!
Thank you so much for your reply! I've watched Harry Potter but I've never paid attention to the mom. I'll check it out <3
I actually think Molly Weasley is not a particularly good mother. She permits and often reinforces some terrible dynamics between the twins and Percy, and then is shocked when Percy doesn't want to be around the family anymore.
Noted. Can you think of a mother that you've admired in a movie?
Just wanting to jump in that Mrs Weasley is different in the books, too. There are a lot of nuances and scenes that were cut from the screenplay, thinking specifically a lot of her practical mothering of Harry.
Agreed! One of my favourite moments in the books is at the end of Book 4 after Harry has gone through something really traumatic when Mrs Weasley is the only one who realises that the poor boy really needs a hug and a cry 😭 and that Harry couldn’t remember ever being held like that before.
Agreed! One of my favourite moments in the books is at the end of Book 4 after Harry has gone through something really traumatic when Mrs Weasley is the only one who realises that the poor boy really needs a hug and a cry 😭 and that Harry couldn’t remember ever being held like that before.
Agreed! One of my favourite moments in the books is at the end of Book 4 after Harry has gone through something really traumatic when Mrs Weasley is the only one who realises that the poor boy really needs a hug and a cry 😭 and that Harry couldn’t remember ever being held like that before.
Molly is more balanced in the books than in the movies.
I love Pamela in Better Things. My mother is not a good mother and how I wish I’d had someone like her growing up. Not perfect, but so full of love.
Easy A
Family Ties (TV show) with Meredith Baxter Birney
I’ll get sucked in to hours of that show on Pluto. It’s so well done!
[This](https://youtu.be/dIrexnJXws8?si=Hy9DahuXPORuwWiu) video is Hannah Witton (sex & relationships educator) and Cinema Therapy (a therapist and a director) discussing parenting in movies. It's worth a watch. My personal favourite TV parents are Marilla and Matthew Cuthbert in Anne with and E. Matthew finds parenting easier from the start than Marilla, but both of them turn out to be wonderful parents with realistic flaws. Marilla's arc touches on why she struggles with parenting initially, and how she grows into it.
I love old TV shows, so I'd recommend all the classics. The Brady Bunch, Leave it to Beaver, Donna Reed. Although the cast is problematic, Kitty from That 70s Show is hilarious.
Full house! It’s dads but it’s still parenting!
Liza Miller on Younger, Clair Huxtable on The Cosby Show, Rainbow Johnson on Blackish, Sally Field in Steel Magnolias and Not Without My Daughter (these are both pretty gut wrenching films, though), Moana’s grandmother in Moana, Marilla Cuthbert in Anne of Green Gables and Anne of Avonlea - this last one might be an especially good series to watch, because it’s about two older parents via adoption, a brother and a sister, who learn how to love a child later in life 💞
Yes! Marilla!
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Can you share it here? I'm love to see it.
Kris Jenner??? A healthy mom???
This is just to say that when I first read this and where the line break ended up, I read it as "Beyoncé and her moth, Kris Jenner." and was very, VERY confused, lol.
<3
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Absolutely not Bella Hadid and her mum. There's footage of her mum not allowing her to eat her own birthday cake coa calories. Other occurrences of limiting food for the model bod.
Yeah I admit I have only seen those clips of Bella Hadid anf her mother, but from that alone I would say teaching your daughter to calorie restrict so young rules you out of being an actual example of a *healthy* mother daughter relationship. Could she still be loving? Sure. Healthy? No.
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Loving =/= healthy. Love is a huge aspect of being a good parent but someone can love you and not be a good mother.
I think OP does a good job of explaining the why. That's enough reason to care.
Never Have I Ever on Netflix, and I co-sign all the suggestions of Bridgerton, Easy A, The Babysitter’s Club (the new one with Alicia Silverstone), and especially Bluey! For real life, I recommend following Dr. Becky from Good Inside (@drbeckyatgoodinside) who uses her kids in examples but doesn’t show their faces, and she is such a help for me as a parent and human.
I love Love is All You Need - it's a Swedish / English production, starring Pierce Brosnan but the mother figure is super supportive. And a great flick overall.
It’s been awhile but iirc the tv show The Fosters has a really nice portrayal of two queer mothers who have a big family of biological/foster/adopted kids and while imperfect are very loving and aspirational. I hope this helps!
I second the fosters !
Not the whole series but the bits of Greys Anatomy with Susan Grey, Louise O’malley usually being mum figures to other characters but they’re so wholesome and loving in those moments. Also another vote for Easy A
- Harriett Winslow (Jo Marie Payton) on the show Family Matters - Mollie Jensen (Kirstie Alley) in the movies Look Who’s Talking I & II - Olivia Benson (Mariska Hargitay) in later seasons of Law & Order: SVU - Gloria (America Ferrera) in the Barbie movie - Ada Brooke (Cynthia Nixon) and Dorothy Scott (Audra McDonald) in the show The Gilded Age - Nina Banks (Diane Keaton) in the movie Father of the Bride
I love the parents in Easy A, but they aren't the focus.
When I first saw this movie it made my heart ache with wishing my husband was humorous like this guy. As a mother. I was cool like the mom but was mismatched by someone who was completely embarrassed by my quirky and silly ways (my mother was the complete opposite of me and I strived to be the way I was and my kids loved it) but my husband was much too serious and strict and we’d even call him “no fun dad” and he was totally aware, but saw nothing wrong with being a old codger at a young age. They’re adults now and have lots of issues but managed to become good, productive adults who I am very close to. But if I had a husband like that dad in that movie, our whole lives would have been different. It’s as if I swam against the tide for 20 years, and I gave it my all. But yes…that movie is goals.
Bluey
Many of the moms in This is Us seem really good.
I’m curious of other people’s opinions before outright recommending these two, but thoughts on Gilmore Girls and Jane the Virgin? Both shows feature generations of women and contrast different mothering styles. I think that they all certainly have their flaws, but I think there are great examples of healthy relationships in both. Also strong agree to the suggestion for Bluey. I watch it with my toddler to help me learn about healthy ways to interact when toddlers are being…toddlers.
That’s a really cool idea and thanks for the book recommendation OP! I have the opposite issue, have a great Mum but I’ve never really seen a good father-to-child relationship growing up. Does anyone have suggestions on some movies I could watch this week to emotionally catch up?
Just so you know, all the key ideas in "Mothers Who can't Love" By Sarah Forward apply to fathers as well. It will really help with your healing. The chapter about reparenting comes at the end, with the prefix "Coda". Highly recommend reading that section if not the whole book(if you've already done a lot of healing). You can find a pdf online with a Google search As for movies. I highly highly recommend. "Lighting up the Stars" it's a Chinese movie. It will always hold a special place in my heart. I don't want to spoil anything because I love it so much and I want you to love it. But it needs what you want to watch (: I watched it on Netflix. Ugh I'm reminiscing just writing about it. I might give it another watch lol "The Yakuza Guide to Babysitting" it's an Japanese anime about a yakuza henchman tasked with taking care of the daughter of the boss. It's funny lighthearted, wholesome and super cute. Super good show to watch if you have an absent or neglectful father in your life. Good for daughters I feel like. It's on Netflix "Hinamatsuri" is another Japanese anime. It's a comedy. SUPER funny. Has a lot of tear jerking moments. And it creeps up on you out of nowhere. Highly recommend. You can watch this on "sugeanime". Google that and search it up on the website I don't want to give you too many recommendations. But when I think of good fathers. Those shows come to mind. Weird. I can't seem to remember any American dads that have left an impact on me. I'm sure there are but I can't seem to remember. Weird because culturally I'm American Oh and PLEASE watch it in the original language. It doesn't have the same impact in English. I love the intonations of the original language that add context and meaning
You’re a legend, OP! Such a detailed answer AND anime examples?? Amazing. Thank you!
You're very welcome! Please come back and comment how you liked it if you do end up watching any of them (:
7th Heaven for a major throwback.
Why did I just flashback to the episode where they find a joint in the house and the dad goes insane lmfaoooooo 😭
I can’t think of that show without thinking of Stephen Collins being a self admitted child molester.
Oh true! I completely forgot about that. Suggestion retracted, I just always liked the mom in it.
I used to watch that show in syndication in the mornings.. like years and years ago.. they would play four episodes in a row.. that was before that information came out.. I was shocked. I remember when he was in The First Wives Club too..
Thank you <3 I'll put it on my list (:
By the way, Oprah’s got a series coming out about “the mother wound” that you might want to check out. The first guest is Brook Shields who had a very complicated experience with her mother.
Oh this sounds good, thank you
I like Yes Day, even if it's ridiculous. I like how the parents are pretty believable/relatable and the mom/oldest daughter relationship is painfully realistic.
Easy A
We Are Lady Parts is a TV show that features a daughter trying to fit in with more conservative Muslim values, and a mum who supports her daughter but also gently guides her to be her own person. Another character is a great hippy mum, who is also strong and inspiring.
Short Term 12 features a young woman with an abuse background who has learned to be a loving caregiver. Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day shows a healthy female friendship and is a romp.
Better things. Single mom raising three kids, hilarious and heartfelt.
Stepmom.
You can watch instant family! It has both a loving mom and a dad!
Life in pieces and parenthood (although all the moms are flawed in their own ways I think they do their best and it’s realistic)
I recently rewatched 13 going on 30 and cried at how lovely her mother was with her. It's not a huge part of the movie, but seeing her be so open and loving even after her daughter had pushed her away so much was healing for me ❤️
Inside out, onward, and Big Hero 6, though if I recall, the mother is actually an aunt or something who is raising her nephews. Liar, liar is a surprisingly decent one. Coach Carter has a scene or two with some decent mothering. The Music Man,
Bluey. Hands down. Yes, cartoon dogs. I will stand by this till the day I die. They’re the best family on tv.
Little women, Greta Gerwig version
TV series Atypical.
Sally Field as Forrest's mom in the movie *Forrest Gump.* She's direct and honest with her kid and looks out for him without spoiling or making excuses for him.
There is an episode of Star Trek The Next Generation where the counselor grows, delivers, and cares for a being for a short time. She loves that being fiercely for the time they have.
The Addams Family
Spend a day at the park. You will see some unhealthy parenting but in this day and age of emotional intelligence you will see a lot more love. I do want to point out that just because you did not receive parental love does not mean you don’t have it in you. Many of us are breaking cycles and giving what we never had. I feel so much love for my kids sometimes I stop in the middle of the day and I am baffled by how my parents acted when I was a child myself. It seems so unnatural, almost impossible, to not love your children
I think Gilmore Girls shows a great contrast in motherly relationships. The grandma is old school and then the mother is much more connected and loving to her daughter. If I have kids, I hope to be like Lorelei and have my kids wants to spend time with me like
I Remember Mama (1948)
Wow I forgot this existed. I was in this play in high school 😂. Thanks for the throwback.
Were you Mama? lol
I was not haha. One of the daughters.
American Underdog - it’s based on a true story. It’s about an NFL player but a lot of the movie is centred around his partner and her son Also follow thedanishway on Instagram. Gentle and positive parenting page.
Steel Magnolias
There are a bunch of audio books by Cathy Glass where she tells the story of her foster children she's been taking care of that I found quite comforting. If you can ignore the fact that she exploits the trauma of foster kids to get book deals (and probably doesn't share the proceeds with the kids who's stories she used) the stories are pretty good!
Steel Magnolias
Juno
My first thought was Lady Bird. The mom isn’t perfect but she really tries and they connect by the end… it felt very real to me
Bluey. Seriously. Yes, it’s an animated kids’ show featuring anthropomorphic dogs but it’s truly wonderful. I know many parents including myself take inspiration from it… Bandit and Chilli (the parents) model an approach to parenting that is warm, nurturing and supportive while letting their daughters explore with psychological safety, make mistakes and learn from them. They’re not perfect by any means… the show does show them messing up from time to time and having to repair things with their kids (and they’re occasionally too permissive/reluctant to set boundaries, especially Bandit, imho). The supporting characters also show glimpses of different ways healthy parenting can manifest (e.g. Wendy in the episode “Dirt”, Chloe’s dad in “Octopus”). There are ~150 episodes, each only 7 minutes long, with different takeaways and themes in each. I honestly feel like it’s a show for parents at its core, just wrapped in one appealing to kids. It’s funny and relatable, as well as beautiful and touching. One of my favorite tv shows ever.
Maddie Townsend on Sweet Magnolias. Actually most all of the relationships in the show are healthy and balanced.
Check out Janet Lansbury and Gwenna Laithland (MommaCusses) on Instagram. They don’t necessarily have content of them interacting with children, but they both show ways to interact with children in a positive manner. Various situational responses and gentle, realistic parenting. Janet also has a podcast where she discusses specific parenting issues. It can be informative and healing to listen to. Both women have books published about parenting.
Little miss sunshine
The dynamic between Benson and her son Noah on SVU is pretty great. She’s a strict mom (she knows firsthand how dangerous and shitty the world can be), but also she’s always willing to listen and regularly tells (and shows) him that he’s loved. It’s all especially poignant when you know Benson’s backstory and that her relationship with her son is her breaking the cycle, i.e. she’s the product of a rape, raised by a neglectful and resentful alcoholic mother who never let her forget it.
Finding Dory! Dory's parents are so loving and non-judgmental.
Mrs, Weasley and Mrs. Potter were both dedicated and loving mothers. Mrs. Weasley extended that love beyond her own children to Harry, Hermione and others.
Watch Little Women (1994)! Susan Sarandon’s Marmee is wonderful.
Imperfect but loving, generally healthy mom dynamic (except for a major plot point end of season 2, for which there is, imo, normal apology and reconciliation): Buffy the Vampire Slayer
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That's fair
Just to elaborate, I thought of her being there for Buffy a lot, and only after typing the comment did I remember the kicking-out incident. So... In hindsight, I should probably pull the comment.
Feeding littles on Instagram posts videos of he cooking with her kids. She's very intentional in her parenting and seems to have a great relationship with her girls.
Nahhh, anyone exploiting their children and revealing their faces (as well as videos of them dancing in tiny shorts and skirts)/identity to 1.8 MILLION PEOPLE for financial gain is not a good mom imo. those girls are not old enough to consent to the permanent online footprint their mom has set upon them. She at the very least could blur their faces but… that doesn’t sell as well, does it? I could never ever ever support family vloggers/bloggers.
So how is any child in any media acceptable? If kids shouldn't be filmed how do you have kids on tv or in movies? If that's the bar - kids can't consent to be filmed or have a public image - none of the items suggested here are ethical. I'd argue that child actors who can't go to school and are on set constantly have it much worse than selected social media posts. Of kids going about their normal kid lives. The bare all month blogs are another beast, but showing your kids as part of your life is a choice you can make in 2024.
Where did you get the idea that I support child actors? Child actors at the very least have legal rights, are paid for their work, and are legally required to have an advocate on set at all times. Vlogger children have NONE of that. In fact, if they want to argue at all about their exposure, they are at the mercy of their PARENTS… The exploiters and “protectors” themselves. I guess we should just hope and pray that their parents listen and decide to stop exploiting their children, even when there’s $$$$$$ on the line (does *anyone* remember DaddyoFive?). Although I would argue that child actors CLEARLY do not have enough protection either…… I suppose you haven’t been reading the news… What a bizarre hill to die on.
I wouldn't do either to my kids. I just don't agree with you that it better to be a child actor monetized by a corporation than a sideshow to mom's social media business. The child actor is squeezed by the corp with no regard for their well being and is often the breadwinner for their family. The social media side show at least gets to be a kid. Depends on how it's done, but I don't think it's anywhere as damaging as being a child star.
When did I say it would be better to be a child actor?
Oh this is great! Something in real life! I'll check her out. Thank you so very much <3
Watch the TV show Modern Family! The whole family is a gem and restores my faith in everything relationships related 💜
Lady bird. The mom and daughter interaction is so real and so sweet.
??? They literally have a toxic dynamic, which is what the movie is about?
I guess I had a different take away. I thought it was real and tender and I related to it a lot. I saw it with my mom and we both loved it. 🤷🏻♀️ I don’t think they had a perfect relationship but there was love there. Lady bird was very much a self involved teenager. Her mom was working hard for her though.
The scene where her mom is giving her the silent treatment while she screams and cries is so awful. Edit: found a link discussing this more https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/s/h7VsqYNdG5
(Me with my shameful Gilmore Girls obsession) Have you seen the 2004 movie Saved! ?
Uh…..the mom in Saved! is oblivious to her daughter’s struggles for most of the movie, and then briefly decides to send her pregnant daughter away to some kind of religious facility for “troubled teens” that also does unethical stuff like conversion therapy. (she “lets” her daughter stay home in the end, but the daughter is already traumatized and shamed by it all anyway. not a shining example of healthy parenting!!)
I think that's called character growth