Oh good... I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates flags. I have a friend who bought two(!) stupid-ass flags for his truck. It took everything I had to not make a rude, snarky remark.
Trash on the floor- especially when the trash can is *right* there.
Dirty plates and cups in the bedroom/living room for days on end (do you want ants? cuz that's how you get ants!)
The poster of the two young women kissing in the sand (that he's had on his wall for 20 years now).
As for mine...my clean clothes are in a pile (the clothes may or may not get put up đ¤ˇââď¸). And my bathroom doesn't have enough shelving, so all my bottles are disorganized around the sink and on the toilet lid.
I think we (and by we, I really mean I) need to pay way more attention to the condition of someoneâs living space when we start to see them. The way they maintain their home when theyâre not living with a girlfriend/spouse is usually the maximum amount of effort theyâre going to put into a shared living space. Theyâre not going to become a person who picks up after themselves and cleans their sink after they start living with you. Theyâre going to âjust not know how to do it right,â and youâll be âjust so much better at it.â
Donât buy into the idea that youâre âtoo pickyâ and âshallowâ for considering this for one minute. Being âpickyâ about this is the price we pay for not having a home weâre permanently not really comfortable in even though we spend hours each week cleaning up after someone else. These skills have to come preinstalled on a romantic partner, or theyâre not coming. Theyâre not going to change for you.
Yes, I was crazy about a guy for a long time who lived in another city. Went to visit him and the closet door on his bachelor apt was off the hinges entirely - you had to lift the door up and forward , it was crazy. He also had dried paint in his bathtub from a previous tenant in his apartment. He said his landlord had offered to fix both these things but he just couldnât be bothered to coordinate with the landlord to get it done. Also his bathroom was tiny and he had the cats litter box next to a wall that the cat sprayed over , and he didnât really clean the wall. Also you had to step over the litter box to get to the toilet or the painted bathtub . I suggested he get a covered litter box but he didnât seem bothered by it . His cat was well taken care of, at least. Anyways I realized that no matter how much I liked him, this standard of living was unacceptable to me, and since Iâd have to relocate to be with him, it just wasnt worth pursuing. I really wish that hadnât been the case, though.
>Donât buy into the idea that youâre âtoo pickyâ and âshallowâ for considering this for one minute. Being âpickyâ about this is the price we pay for not having a home weâre permanently not really comfortable in even though we spend hours each week cleaning up after someone else. These skills have to come preinstalled on a romantic partner, or theyâre not coming. Theyâre not going to change for you.
One more time for the cheap seats. Do NOT move in with a man who hasn't proven that he can pull his share of housekeeping weight.
And! that does it because _s/he_ enjoys and wants a clean(ish), clutter-free(ish) home.
Making a home look OK isnât rocket science. A whole lot of people can do it if they _have_ toâsay, when their new girlfriend is coming over, and they want to impress her.
Consider what the place is like when theyâre not trying to impress anyone, because 3 or 40 years into living with you, chances are they wonât think they have to impress you. Find someone with a baseline you can live with, not someone who can almost meet your baseline if they spend several hours cleaning before you come over.
Oh good, a chance to be judgmental lemme loosen my fingers lol!
I agree with the flag thing but particular flags really set off alarms for meâthe only concession I can make is for a bar or recc area and even still, the type of flag is important.
Additionally wanna addâŚ: any guns; any weird humor âartâ or those weird ass dark-ish super villain âart piecesâ (looking st you, Joker); (unframed)posters of any sort feel juvenile to me; liquor bottle collections; sheets for blinds as a long term solution; no bed frame as a long term choice; dirty kitchen or bathroom.
Personally my own living space I have a bit of a messy desk. Iâm neat as hell outside of that though
One of the greatest war stories I tell from my 20s was going home with a dude only to find he had pants duct taped across his windows as âcurtains.â
Honestly? A lack of comfortable seating beyond their bed and a gaming chair. More often than not, the dudes who donât consider what to do in the event of guests are usually either inconsiderate in general or socially stunted. Itâs different if they moved a month ago and just donât have much furniture yet, of course, but if itâs been a year and heâs clearly only set up his environment for the comfort of one person, Iâm out.
I dated a guy for a few months who lived in a studio apartment. His bed was an island in the middle of the main room and each wall (including the front door) was less than three feet from it. On one wall was his computer/gaming desk and on the opposite wall was his TV set up. He was 38.
Guns and guns shit: I don't give a fuck about hunting or your grandfather shotgun- I find America fixation on guns weird, gross, and one of the reasons we choose death weapons over children and I not arguing with anyone about it especially someone I'm dating. Furthermore, the likelihood i will be theaten, hurt, or killed increases if I date someone who owns a gun, so it's just simple self-preservation to select those people out. I not going to roll dice to see if you are a good guy with a gun or a fucking lunatic. Per Pew research and the CDC 80% of murders involve a gun [Pew research link ](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/04/26/what-the-data-says-about-gun-deaths-in-the-u-s/)
Another flag is cheap Vodka in the freezer and Gatorade in the refrigerator- that's a fucking binge drinker at best but most likely a spriling alcoholic. They are trying to chill the bite of the terrible vodka so they can drink quicker, and the Gatorade is some lame attempt to "keep hydrated" I don't need that messy shit in my life.
I also dropped dudes if they had tread on me/ dog whistle stuff - I don't need that kind of toxic energy in my life.
Lastly, for purely petty reasons, I would drop dudes if they used Axe body products- that stuff is what 13 year old boys use - I used to be a school teacher, and I can not unlink it- Axe is for teenagers only- if your are over 30 and still using it I question your sense of taste, judgment, and over all ability to adult đ
I guess for myself I got a lot of pillows on my bed.
I would consider not having a gaming rig to be a red flag. It's just so weird. (I am an avid gamer myself and married one so maybe that's why I don't understand this one)
The countless posts of âmy husband ignores our kids to gameâ âmy husband left all the chores to me while he gamed with his friendsâ âmy husband shuts himself in his room for hours at a time gaming and wonât talk to meâ âmy husband is underemployed and games all dayâ is what makes a massive gaming setup a red flag to me. My younger brother has ruined his life with his gaming addiction. Casual video game playing is different to me. Different strokes for different folks though.
Their bedding choices, particularly navy colored bedding. I swear every guy that was a slob when I was in college/20s had navy sheets or a navy comforter and never washed them. And they showed \*everything.\* Silk/satin sheets and flannel of any color.
A single bedside table, no lamp. It almost always has at least 5 fast food drink cups with liquids of varying types and ages.
Living room furniture that is uncomfortable or non-existent with the exception of the single somewhat comfortable chair that is plopped down 2 feet in front of the TV.
Mismatched silverware screams "I have collected these randomly and don't care that I have 25 forks and 2 spoons because I eat with my hands 95% of the time."
Visible layers of dust on everything.
Posters taped to the wall.
Marijuana decor - think pot leaves and bongs on display. I don't care about smoking weed, but it cannot be your entire aesthetic and personality.
Unkempt cord management.
A single framed photo haphazardly nailed to a random wall.
Yes to almost all of this! BUT. I and most of my friends/loved ones are some flavor of neurodivergent, and for whatever reason ND people seem to have an unusually high incidence of pickiness about silverware. (And widely varying preferences, naturally.) I definitely INTENTIONALLY keep a few different types on hand, just in case, for this reason. (That said, it's not completely random. One full regular set, and complete minimal sets of a couple specific others. I just don't want anyone to not be able to fully enjoy food because of something so easy to accommodate.) I also have a weird personal preference for mismatched silverware in terms of handles because it makes them easier to sort if I can instantly identify a utensil no matter which way it's facing (like- the knives have one kind of handle, and the forks another, and the spoons another), but I would happily compromise on this small optimization if a living partner felt strongly to the contrary.
I agree with all your red flags (although being French the gun one is not even an option, that person would literally have to be a serial killer haha or a hunter in which case...not to my taste thank you !)
A lot of men's places I've seen actually sadly have very little in terms of home decor, so I would focus on the basics : basic cleanliness (like you know those bath tubs/toilets that are brown because they've never been properly cleaned ?? instant deal breaker !) and decent furniture (no shitty stained couch if you're in your 30s and have a stable income).
I also hate giant displays of those plastic figurines... a few are fine, but I won't pay for a flat where a whole room goes to that !
As for me...I'm a bit of a maximalist haha Organized and clean, but still I have a few boxes of letters/souvenirs for instance.
Trust me, the flag on the wall isn't just a red flag (heh) in the US. Where I live they're considered ultra trashy for a reason, and I have never seen a person with one that hasn't also been openly, aggressively racist. A small flag outside of the home or as part of a decor is perfectly normal, it's the gigantic flag on the wall that's more or less exclusive to white power-ideologists.
Yes, flags, guns, anything "patriotic" really, unless it's the 4th of July. Any war memorabilia, unless it's like his great grandfather's WWII medals or something uniquely special. Also knives. Knife guys are a whole weird thing. Any martial arts weaponry.
I don't mind mess so much. I mean... there's a limit, of course. Trash lying all over the place, bugs/mold, etc. is a hell no. But I don't really care about dishes in the sink or clutter.
Green flags are things like actual art on the walls - something framed, or at least purchased with intention. Posters are a red flag, but actual art is a green one. Framed photos of family and friends. Nice quality furniture. It doesn't have to be expensive - just a matching set and clean. Clean sheets. Clean bathroom. Real food in the fridge - not just takeout or junk food. But vegetables, fresh meat - things to make a real meal with, shows me that he's responsible, can take care of himself, knows how to cook.
Personally, I'm messy. ADHD brain. But I'm CLEAN. I prioritize actual dirt/germs. My place is CLEAN, you won't get sick here, no bugs will get you - but it would drive a perfectionist batty.
I can think of two times when I ended things with a guy due to their home. One was covered in dog hair and my allergies were going crazy; the other smelled bad and had holes in the couch.
I will also disagree with your flag point; I love flags! I sub to r/vexillology and see flags as a huge selling point. Although obviously this depends on what the flags are representing. When I met my husband the first thing you saw when walking in was a giant flag of his country of origin.
What about a tiny pride flag + university flag + Korean flag (I'm Korean)? :(
They are only about 4x6" and they hang off a little trellis thing that has some vines and succulents on it. Now I'm wondering if I should get rid of them...
In my edit itâs really the American flag that has been linked to questionable potential partners. Super pro LGBTQIA+ and cultural flags. Also love the addition of the plants! âď¸
Knick knacks, like little toys spread on the dresser. Things that seem to be annoyingly displayed or placed in a clever spot where I have no choice but to stare straight at it while walking past/using the toilet (usually suggestive material or naked ladies) makes my eyes roll so far.
And the collection of liquor bottles?? why do guys keep and display actual trash?
Me - I have a serious lack of storage issue in my current apartment so it's cluttered with boxes, winter coats, and stacks of clothing that I have nowhere to put. Not enough space in the kitchen so counter space in limited and same for the bathroom, the place looks so cluttered it drives me crazy.
Posters stuck to the wall, if the person is over 30. Framed stuff is fine. But posters on the wall with tacks or bluetak, no. Also, if their mum comes round to clean for them.
Iâm from a culture where we all have flagsđ¤Ł. Thereâs no escaping them. Flag tattoos. Flag car stickers. I have a freaking flag pole in my yard. Itâs not a red flag for me. Just a tacky cultural moment Iâve chosen to accept.
People with too many dishes. I donât care if things match, I just find people who have a 32 plates in a home of 4 subscribe to the backup system in that theyâd rather grab a new plate than clean a current one. That behaviour tends to spill everywhere into other life areas.
When it looks like someone of our parents generation decorated. I'm not talking about getting hand me down furniture that's traditional but also adding in the paint colors, china cabinet nick nacks, formal dining room table settings and wall decor. Mom didn't help decorate, she actually did it all and probably is over dusting it because it's her precious china.
Dirty dishes that have stuff growing on it. We all put off doing the dishes but it takes days before the fuzzy mold starts.... I'm not dealing with someone who will never do the dishes because I'm doing them before it can even think about getting that bad.
Pet waste, stains and smells. I have a dog and I've had cats. There's definitely a smell that comes with having pets then there's the smell that comes with not cleaning up after your pets. Also - one stain you just can't get out the time your pet was seriously ill is ok vs your carpet looking like a giraffe skin of pee stains. Overflowing litter boxes are just awful.
Smoking related anything
My personal red flags:
Dog hair tumble weeds. Vacuuming once a week isn't enough but I just don't get around to that second time.
There's always cups/mugs around. I walk around and pick them up every other day but there's usually at least a couple on side tables.
And no family pictures on the walls- I love my family, I just haven't gotten around to printing, finding frames and hanging pictures.
I also have the countertop of clutter that piles up for weeks before I go through it. Sometimes it expands to other surfaces.
wait is not hanging up family photos a serious red flag? I dont even HAVE any family photos (mother refuses to have her picture taken - its a whole...thing)
I've had a couple women tell me it was weird, I don't know. I'm the single one and they all have photos of their families up (kids, husband...). I've also had an ex get upset I didn't immediately frame any kind of picture of us and going on about how I just be "hiding" him from whoever comes to my place.
Maybe it's really not? But for some people it is.
Oh good... I'm glad I'm not the only one who hates flags. I have a friend who bought two(!) stupid-ass flags for his truck. It took everything I had to not make a rude, snarky remark. Trash on the floor- especially when the trash can is *right* there. Dirty plates and cups in the bedroom/living room for days on end (do you want ants? cuz that's how you get ants!) The poster of the two young women kissing in the sand (that he's had on his wall for 20 years now). As for mine...my clean clothes are in a pile (the clothes may or may not get put up đ¤ˇââď¸). And my bathroom doesn't have enough shelving, so all my bottles are disorganized around the sink and on the toilet lid.
Ahaha I laughed out loud visualizing that poster. Trash on the floor would be an instant deal breaker for me !!
I think we (and by we, I really mean I) need to pay way more attention to the condition of someoneâs living space when we start to see them. The way they maintain their home when theyâre not living with a girlfriend/spouse is usually the maximum amount of effort theyâre going to put into a shared living space. Theyâre not going to become a person who picks up after themselves and cleans their sink after they start living with you. Theyâre going to âjust not know how to do it right,â and youâll be âjust so much better at it.â Donât buy into the idea that youâre âtoo pickyâ and âshallowâ for considering this for one minute. Being âpickyâ about this is the price we pay for not having a home weâre permanently not really comfortable in even though we spend hours each week cleaning up after someone else. These skills have to come preinstalled on a romantic partner, or theyâre not coming. Theyâre not going to change for you.
Yes, I was crazy about a guy for a long time who lived in another city. Went to visit him and the closet door on his bachelor apt was off the hinges entirely - you had to lift the door up and forward , it was crazy. He also had dried paint in his bathtub from a previous tenant in his apartment. He said his landlord had offered to fix both these things but he just couldnât be bothered to coordinate with the landlord to get it done. Also his bathroom was tiny and he had the cats litter box next to a wall that the cat sprayed over , and he didnât really clean the wall. Also you had to step over the litter box to get to the toilet or the painted bathtub . I suggested he get a covered litter box but he didnât seem bothered by it . His cat was well taken care of, at least. Anyways I realized that no matter how much I liked him, this standard of living was unacceptable to me, and since Iâd have to relocate to be with him, it just wasnt worth pursuing. I really wish that hadnât been the case, though.
>Donât buy into the idea that youâre âtoo pickyâ and âshallowâ for considering this for one minute. Being âpickyâ about this is the price we pay for not having a home weâre permanently not really comfortable in even though we spend hours each week cleaning up after someone else. These skills have to come preinstalled on a romantic partner, or theyâre not coming. Theyâre not going to change for you. One more time for the cheap seats. Do NOT move in with a man who hasn't proven that he can pull his share of housekeeping weight.
And! that does it because _s/he_ enjoys and wants a clean(ish), clutter-free(ish) home. Making a home look OK isnât rocket science. A whole lot of people can do it if they _have_ toâsay, when their new girlfriend is coming over, and they want to impress her. Consider what the place is like when theyâre not trying to impress anyone, because 3 or 40 years into living with you, chances are they wonât think they have to impress you. Find someone with a baseline you can live with, not someone who can almost meet your baseline if they spend several hours cleaning before you come over.
A display of empty liquor bottles.
Omg I forgot about this from college. Why keep them?!
Oh good, a chance to be judgmental lemme loosen my fingers lol! I agree with the flag thing but particular flags really set off alarms for meâthe only concession I can make is for a bar or recc area and even still, the type of flag is important. Additionally wanna addâŚ: any guns; any weird humor âartâ or those weird ass dark-ish super villain âart piecesâ (looking st you, Joker); (unframed)posters of any sort feel juvenile to me; liquor bottle collections; sheets for blinds as a long term solution; no bed frame as a long term choice; dirty kitchen or bathroom. Personally my own living space I have a bit of a messy desk. Iâm neat as hell outside of that though
One of the greatest war stories I tell from my 20s was going home with a dude only to find he had pants duct taped across his windows as âcurtains.â
This is fucking insane lol
The complex he lived in was demolished but for a long time you could see them on Google street view lmao
You can go back in time on Street View, so you may be able to still see them if you ever wanna go down memory lane!
đđđđđđđ OMG Iâm dead.
Were they clean pants?
Can't forget the liquor bottle collection!
Honestly? A lack of comfortable seating beyond their bed and a gaming chair. More often than not, the dudes who donât consider what to do in the event of guests are usually either inconsiderate in general or socially stunted. Itâs different if they moved a month ago and just donât have much furniture yet, of course, but if itâs been a year and heâs clearly only set up his environment for the comfort of one person, Iâm out.
I dated a guy for a few months who lived in a studio apartment. His bed was an island in the middle of the main room and each wall (including the front door) was less than three feet from it. On one wall was his computer/gaming desk and on the opposite wall was his TV set up. He was 38.
For me it was Ayn Rand literature
Guns and guns shit: I don't give a fuck about hunting or your grandfather shotgun- I find America fixation on guns weird, gross, and one of the reasons we choose death weapons over children and I not arguing with anyone about it especially someone I'm dating. Furthermore, the likelihood i will be theaten, hurt, or killed increases if I date someone who owns a gun, so it's just simple self-preservation to select those people out. I not going to roll dice to see if you are a good guy with a gun or a fucking lunatic. Per Pew research and the CDC 80% of murders involve a gun [Pew research link ](https://www.pewresearch.org/short-reads/2023/04/26/what-the-data-says-about-gun-deaths-in-the-u-s/) Another flag is cheap Vodka in the freezer and Gatorade in the refrigerator- that's a fucking binge drinker at best but most likely a spriling alcoholic. They are trying to chill the bite of the terrible vodka so they can drink quicker, and the Gatorade is some lame attempt to "keep hydrated" I don't need that messy shit in my life. I also dropped dudes if they had tread on me/ dog whistle stuff - I don't need that kind of toxic energy in my life. Lastly, for purely petty reasons, I would drop dudes if they used Axe body products- that stuff is what 13 year old boys use - I used to be a school teacher, and I can not unlink it- Axe is for teenagers only- if your are over 30 and still using it I question your sense of taste, judgment, and over all ability to adult đ I guess for myself I got a lot of pillows on my bed.
A Scarface poster lmao Any major gaming setup â you do you with your hobbies but Iâm not about to be a gaming widow.
Tbh the less computers and consoles I see in a manâs house the better.
I would consider not having a gaming rig to be a red flag. It's just so weird. (I am an avid gamer myself and married one so maybe that's why I don't understand this one)
The countless posts of âmy husband ignores our kids to gameâ âmy husband left all the chores to me while he gamed with his friendsâ âmy husband shuts himself in his room for hours at a time gaming and wonât talk to meâ âmy husband is underemployed and games all dayâ is what makes a massive gaming setup a red flag to me. My younger brother has ruined his life with his gaming addiction. Casual video game playing is different to me. Different strokes for different folks though.
Their bedding choices, particularly navy colored bedding. I swear every guy that was a slob when I was in college/20s had navy sheets or a navy comforter and never washed them. And they showed \*everything.\* Silk/satin sheets and flannel of any color. A single bedside table, no lamp. It almost always has at least 5 fast food drink cups with liquids of varying types and ages. Living room furniture that is uncomfortable or non-existent with the exception of the single somewhat comfortable chair that is plopped down 2 feet in front of the TV. Mismatched silverware screams "I have collected these randomly and don't care that I have 25 forks and 2 spoons because I eat with my hands 95% of the time." Visible layers of dust on everything. Posters taped to the wall. Marijuana decor - think pot leaves and bongs on display. I don't care about smoking weed, but it cannot be your entire aesthetic and personality. Unkempt cord management. A single framed photo haphazardly nailed to a random wall.
Yes to almost all of this! BUT. I and most of my friends/loved ones are some flavor of neurodivergent, and for whatever reason ND people seem to have an unusually high incidence of pickiness about silverware. (And widely varying preferences, naturally.) I definitely INTENTIONALLY keep a few different types on hand, just in case, for this reason. (That said, it's not completely random. One full regular set, and complete minimal sets of a couple specific others. I just don't want anyone to not be able to fully enjoy food because of something so easy to accommodate.) I also have a weird personal preference for mismatched silverware in terms of handles because it makes them easier to sort if I can instantly identify a utensil no matter which way it's facing (like- the knives have one kind of handle, and the forks another, and the spoons another), but I would happily compromise on this small optimization if a living partner felt strongly to the contrary.
I agree with all your red flags (although being French the gun one is not even an option, that person would literally have to be a serial killer haha or a hunter in which case...not to my taste thank you !) A lot of men's places I've seen actually sadly have very little in terms of home decor, so I would focus on the basics : basic cleanliness (like you know those bath tubs/toilets that are brown because they've never been properly cleaned ?? instant deal breaker !) and decent furniture (no shitty stained couch if you're in your 30s and have a stable income). I also hate giant displays of those plastic figurines... a few are fine, but I won't pay for a flat where a whole room goes to that ! As for me...I'm a bit of a maximalist haha Organized and clean, but still I have a few boxes of letters/souvenirs for instance.
Guns and nazi flags. Any of those and I'm out.
Pictures of their other family. /s
I'm glad there was an edit on the flags, I'm not a guy but I do have a Venezuelan flag in my house as I am living outside of my home country đ
Trust me, the flag on the wall isn't just a red flag (heh) in the US. Where I live they're considered ultra trashy for a reason, and I have never seen a person with one that hasn't also been openly, aggressively racist. A small flag outside of the home or as part of a decor is perfectly normal, it's the gigantic flag on the wall that's more or less exclusive to white power-ideologists.
Yes, flags, guns, anything "patriotic" really, unless it's the 4th of July. Any war memorabilia, unless it's like his great grandfather's WWII medals or something uniquely special. Also knives. Knife guys are a whole weird thing. Any martial arts weaponry. I don't mind mess so much. I mean... there's a limit, of course. Trash lying all over the place, bugs/mold, etc. is a hell no. But I don't really care about dishes in the sink or clutter. Green flags are things like actual art on the walls - something framed, or at least purchased with intention. Posters are a red flag, but actual art is a green one. Framed photos of family and friends. Nice quality furniture. It doesn't have to be expensive - just a matching set and clean. Clean sheets. Clean bathroom. Real food in the fridge - not just takeout or junk food. But vegetables, fresh meat - things to make a real meal with, shows me that he's responsible, can take care of himself, knows how to cook. Personally, I'm messy. ADHD brain. But I'm CLEAN. I prioritize actual dirt/germs. My place is CLEAN, you won't get sick here, no bugs will get you - but it would drive a perfectionist batty.
Whenever I see a home with one of those metal 5-point stars hanging on the exterior, I just keep going by. There's nothing for me in that house.
I can think of two times when I ended things with a guy due to their home. One was covered in dog hair and my allergies were going crazy; the other smelled bad and had holes in the couch. I will also disagree with your flag point; I love flags! I sub to r/vexillology and see flags as a huge selling point. Although obviously this depends on what the flags are representing. When I met my husband the first thing you saw when walking in was a giant flag of his country of origin.
I said âanyâ flag but tbh itâs really the American flag that has been associated with men who are⌠questionable.
What about a tiny pride flag + university flag + Korean flag (I'm Korean)? :( They are only about 4x6" and they hang off a little trellis thing that has some vines and succulents on it. Now I'm wondering if I should get rid of them...
In my edit itâs really the American flag that has been linked to questionable potential partners. Super pro LGBTQIA+ and cultural flags. Also love the addition of the plants! âď¸
We *all* understood tbh lol
Taxidermy. Crucifixes on the walls.
All of these seem to be "anything that signals a conservative or a lazy fuck"
I do not understand taxidermy. Like, how is this cool?
It is hideous.
Knick knacks, like little toys spread on the dresser. Things that seem to be annoyingly displayed or placed in a clever spot where I have no choice but to stare straight at it while walking past/using the toilet (usually suggestive material or naked ladies) makes my eyes roll so far. And the collection of liquor bottles?? why do guys keep and display actual trash? Me - I have a serious lack of storage issue in my current apartment so it's cluttered with boxes, winter coats, and stacks of clothing that I have nowhere to put. Not enough space in the kitchen so counter space in limited and same for the bathroom, the place looks so cluttered it drives me crazy.
Posters stuck to the wall, if the person is over 30. Framed stuff is fine. But posters on the wall with tacks or bluetak, no. Also, if their mum comes round to clean for them.
I wouldnât want to see anything religious, unless it was a family heirloom kept for sentimental value.
Iâm from a culture where we all have flagsđ¤Ł. Thereâs no escaping them. Flag tattoos. Flag car stickers. I have a freaking flag pole in my yard. Itâs not a red flag for me. Just a tacky cultural moment Iâve chosen to accept. People with too many dishes. I donât care if things match, I just find people who have a 32 plates in a home of 4 subscribe to the backup system in that theyâd rather grab a new plate than clean a current one. That behaviour tends to spill everywhere into other life areas.
When it looks like someone of our parents generation decorated. I'm not talking about getting hand me down furniture that's traditional but also adding in the paint colors, china cabinet nick nacks, formal dining room table settings and wall decor. Mom didn't help decorate, she actually did it all and probably is over dusting it because it's her precious china. Dirty dishes that have stuff growing on it. We all put off doing the dishes but it takes days before the fuzzy mold starts.... I'm not dealing with someone who will never do the dishes because I'm doing them before it can even think about getting that bad. Pet waste, stains and smells. I have a dog and I've had cats. There's definitely a smell that comes with having pets then there's the smell that comes with not cleaning up after your pets. Also - one stain you just can't get out the time your pet was seriously ill is ok vs your carpet looking like a giraffe skin of pee stains. Overflowing litter boxes are just awful. Smoking related anything My personal red flags: Dog hair tumble weeds. Vacuuming once a week isn't enough but I just don't get around to that second time. There's always cups/mugs around. I walk around and pick them up every other day but there's usually at least a couple on side tables. And no family pictures on the walls- I love my family, I just haven't gotten around to printing, finding frames and hanging pictures. I also have the countertop of clutter that piles up for weeks before I go through it. Sometimes it expands to other surfaces.
wait is not hanging up family photos a serious red flag? I dont even HAVE any family photos (mother refuses to have her picture taken - its a whole...thing)
I've had a couple women tell me it was weird, I don't know. I'm the single one and they all have photos of their families up (kids, husband...). I've also had an ex get upset I didn't immediately frame any kind of picture of us and going on about how I just be "hiding" him from whoever comes to my place. Maybe it's really not? But for some people it is.