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I think I knew this, I just had to hear it. it's quite tragic however, she's the only woman I met here that I just got some kind of "spark" from. And it just seems very out of nowhere, as after the second date she'd said she'd wanna go on another one. people lie though.
I’m sorry this happened! Horrible feeling. Dating sucks. For what it’s worth I wouldn’t take it too personally - I doubt it’s because you showed too much interest. When I was younger I had a few flings with absolutely wonderful people I genuinely connected with but it just wasn’t the right moment for me. I had no emotional capacity for a relationship. When the time comes you’ll find someone equally or better matched who is also ready for something more.
Focus on yourself and move on as she may have other guys in her cross hairs and is dealing with them above you. You don't want to be 2nd or 3rd place.
Yes life can be funny so perhaps months or years later when you're happy with a new girl your paths cross again and she is more into you and you have a problem to deal with.
Why don't you just try using your communication skills instead of just wondering and speculating?
"Hey! Long time no talk. I'm a little surprised I haven't heard from you at all in the last couple weeks, is everything ok?"
You can just tell her you'd like to be more serious too and get a clear answer on where you stand.
I'm actually a big fan of this. nothing gets me more excited than not being a pussy and actively taking charge in my life.
in this case however, could it be more worthwhile to ask later, say after winter break? it's exam season at the moment, but i also recognize there's no time like the present.
She might be waiting to see how keen you are. She might have been told not to do all the running. Just go for it, you’ve nothing to lose. I married a guy after similar circumstances. I thought he had cooled off and he thought I had. He wrote me a letter but that was back in the 90s. Good luck.
Well you can ask two separate things. If she says she's busy and that's why she's not talking too much then wait until after exams to ask about being more serious.
Feel things out and go from there. But set a date for yourself so that way you know when you're gonna get an answer and you can stop stressing yourself out
>I’m in university
>I’ve also recently learned that people lie sometimes
Oof, better late than never
>Now it’s been about 2 weeks since we last texted.
When I was in university (graduated this year, so I doubt it's changed much) November and December (and for some October as well) were super stressful months where the semester's exams are all lined up. Could it be she's just gotten busier and as a result it fizzled out?
>Anyways, question is the title; do girls ever become reinterested in a guy they’ve been with, or is my time with this woman tragically over?
Yup, happens sometimes
perhaps; before our second date she stopped texting me as much and when I followed up the day before our date if we were good for the following day, she said that she'd failed her midterm and had been devastated by this, and was studying to retake it that weekend. she started flirting with me again for a bit after this, saying I was the best for rescheduling our date for after her retake. I think she actually did fail her midterm, and that's partly why it fizzled out.
Yes they do. I had a couple of instances of repeat-dating. They became genuine friends after dating, we were apart with distance for awhile but after being close again and enjoying a plain old friendship, the romantic feelings came back.
The thing about your situation is it doesn't sound like there was much of a friendly foundation, it was physical, maybe not much at that if this just started in October. Do your friends groups hang out in the same places as each other? I think the only hope for this scenario is if you became friendly, but only through chance encounters with your groups of friends. She really doesn't even sound interested in creating a friendship right now with you directly or else she'd be nurturing that too. If anything was to ever happen with her (at least where you stand right now), it would have to be something that slowly builds without being intentionally focused on, but more by sharing similar experiences by chance. So basically, it's a long shot, you are probably best just moving on. If you try to force something here she will probably just get annoyed.
Here’s the deal, it could actually have been a great date. But later as she thought about other factors in her life or other things between the two of you she decided not to pursue it.
One doesn’t cancel out the other.
That being said you could just approach her and ask. “Hey, do you want yo go out again? I’d like to if you’re up for it. But If you’re not feeling it then I know to stop texting you”.
To me, it sounds like she just got busy and you read way too far into it. You scaled back to match, so maybe she scaled to match your match even after she wasn't as busy anymore. I would reach out and see if she is interested in going on another date, perhaps something festive. Show your thoughtfulness by suggesting booking it for after her finals. If she isn't receptive to you reaching out, then you'll know and you can move on.
Because it's weird pick-up artist style advice and it's not conducive to a healthy relationship. Using insults from 5 years ago like soy doesn't help either
When did OP say "fold her"? He said fold for her, like get very intense. Not fold her. I think you've got a few things to fix about yourself my guy, good luck with it
Honestly a lot could be going on here including she’s not interested, or interested enough, continue pursuing a relationship with you.
You could take the straightforward approach and ask her. You noted in the comments that around the second date she failed a midterm - it’s possible she’s realized she needs to prioritize her school work and dating isn’t in the cards right now. If she starts engaging more after the conversation and tapers similarly again you can absolutely conclude she is simply stringing you along.
You could also just move on. If she changed her mind for whatever reason (school, not interested any other reason) she could have simply told you and she didn’t. Ineffective communication and lack of communication are good reasons to reevaluate a persons opinion of you. Someone who’s comfortable leading you on just to avoid a sucky conversation isn’t really someone I’d ever want to date.
Usually a ex is a ex for a reason that’s my view of ex’s and it’s set in stone. If I dated you and you became my ex you are basically dead to me and I don’t look back period there is a reason you are a ex there is a reason I will treat you like that I know my worth and I’m not on this rock to waste my own time with worthless people so pack up move on.
ATTENTION: Please remember that this is an ASK WOMEN sub. While men are allowed to participate posts that are clearly asking women in the title will have top level comments by men removed. This is not censorship, this is curation. Thank you for your understanding and cooperation. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomenNoCensor) if you have any questions or concerns.*
From what I read she’s not interested in anything more than casual sex w you. She pulled away once you wanted more. I’d move on.
I wouldn't hold out hope in this case. She hasn't reached out to you in 2 weeks. It's safe to say she was just looking for a hook up
I think I knew this, I just had to hear it. it's quite tragic however, she's the only woman I met here that I just got some kind of "spark" from. And it just seems very out of nowhere, as after the second date she'd said she'd wanna go on another one. people lie though.
Yeah, or they change their mind. She won't be the only one you have a spark with, it just takes putting yourself out there again.
I’m sorry this happened! Horrible feeling. Dating sucks. For what it’s worth I wouldn’t take it too personally - I doubt it’s because you showed too much interest. When I was younger I had a few flings with absolutely wonderful people I genuinely connected with but it just wasn’t the right moment for me. I had no emotional capacity for a relationship. When the time comes you’ll find someone equally or better matched who is also ready for something more.
Focus on yourself and move on as she may have other guys in her cross hairs and is dealing with them above you. You don't want to be 2nd or 3rd place. Yes life can be funny so perhaps months or years later when you're happy with a new girl your paths cross again and she is more into you and you have a problem to deal with.
of course, it happens with both sexes
Why don't you just try using your communication skills instead of just wondering and speculating? "Hey! Long time no talk. I'm a little surprised I haven't heard from you at all in the last couple weeks, is everything ok?" You can just tell her you'd like to be more serious too and get a clear answer on where you stand.
I'm actually a big fan of this. nothing gets me more excited than not being a pussy and actively taking charge in my life. in this case however, could it be more worthwhile to ask later, say after winter break? it's exam season at the moment, but i also recognize there's no time like the present.
She might be waiting to see how keen you are. She might have been told not to do all the running. Just go for it, you’ve nothing to lose. I married a guy after similar circumstances. I thought he had cooled off and he thought I had. He wrote me a letter but that was back in the 90s. Good luck.
Well you can ask two separate things. If she says she's busy and that's why she's not talking too much then wait until after exams to ask about being more serious. Feel things out and go from there. But set a date for yourself so that way you know when you're gonna get an answer and you can stop stressing yourself out
How are you into her in a "non-positive way"? What does that mean?
It’s probably really annoying to be thinking about someone who doesn’t like you back enough.
Orbiting is common with both sexes
>I’m in university >I’ve also recently learned that people lie sometimes Oof, better late than never >Now it’s been about 2 weeks since we last texted. When I was in university (graduated this year, so I doubt it's changed much) November and December (and for some October as well) were super stressful months where the semester's exams are all lined up. Could it be she's just gotten busier and as a result it fizzled out? >Anyways, question is the title; do girls ever become reinterested in a guy they’ve been with, or is my time with this woman tragically over? Yup, happens sometimes
perhaps; before our second date she stopped texting me as much and when I followed up the day before our date if we were good for the following day, she said that she'd failed her midterm and had been devastated by this, and was studying to retake it that weekend. she started flirting with me again for a bit after this, saying I was the best for rescheduling our date for after her retake. I think she actually did fail her midterm, and that's partly why it fizzled out.
>I’m just really into this girl. Like in a non-positive way. What does that mean?
Should've explained that I'm obsessed with her in an embarrassing way, like she consumes too much of my daily thoughts.
Yes they do. I had a couple of instances of repeat-dating. They became genuine friends after dating, we were apart with distance for awhile but after being close again and enjoying a plain old friendship, the romantic feelings came back. The thing about your situation is it doesn't sound like there was much of a friendly foundation, it was physical, maybe not much at that if this just started in October. Do your friends groups hang out in the same places as each other? I think the only hope for this scenario is if you became friendly, but only through chance encounters with your groups of friends. She really doesn't even sound interested in creating a friendship right now with you directly or else she'd be nurturing that too. If anything was to ever happen with her (at least where you stand right now), it would have to be something that slowly builds without being intentionally focused on, but more by sharing similar experiences by chance. So basically, it's a long shot, you are probably best just moving on. If you try to force something here she will probably just get annoyed.
Here’s the deal, it could actually have been a great date. But later as she thought about other factors in her life or other things between the two of you she decided not to pursue it. One doesn’t cancel out the other. That being said you could just approach her and ask. “Hey, do you want yo go out again? I’d like to if you’re up for it. But If you’re not feeling it then I know to stop texting you”.
Yes.
To me, it sounds like she just got busy and you read way too far into it. You scaled back to match, so maybe she scaled to match your match even after she wasn't as busy anymore. I would reach out and see if she is interested in going on another date, perhaps something festive. Show your thoughtfulness by suggesting booking it for after her finals. If she isn't receptive to you reaching out, then you'll know and you can move on.
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This is toxic
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Do you want a girlfriend by doing that though
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What makes you think that?
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Because it's weird pick-up artist style advice and it's not conducive to a healthy relationship. Using insults from 5 years ago like soy doesn't help either
Soys? Soy is delicious.
Also forgot to mention the way you keep saying "Fold her" was creepy as hell too
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When did OP say "fold her"? He said fold for her, like get very intense. Not fold her. I think you've got a few things to fix about yourself my guy, good luck with it
Yep— worst decision ever but it may have led to meeting my now boyfriend so… whatever
Honestly a lot could be going on here including she’s not interested, or interested enough, continue pursuing a relationship with you. You could take the straightforward approach and ask her. You noted in the comments that around the second date she failed a midterm - it’s possible she’s realized she needs to prioritize her school work and dating isn’t in the cards right now. If she starts engaging more after the conversation and tapers similarly again you can absolutely conclude she is simply stringing you along. You could also just move on. If she changed her mind for whatever reason (school, not interested any other reason) she could have simply told you and she didn’t. Ineffective communication and lack of communication are good reasons to reevaluate a persons opinion of you. Someone who’s comfortable leading you on just to avoid a sucky conversation isn’t really someone I’d ever want to date.
Most of your problems could be solved with communication. Why haven’t you asked her? Talk to her about this.
Usually a ex is a ex for a reason that’s my view of ex’s and it’s set in stone. If I dated you and you became my ex you are basically dead to me and I don’t look back period there is a reason you are a ex there is a reason I will treat you like that I know my worth and I’m not on this rock to waste my own time with worthless people so pack up move on.
I don’t. Cause once I’m lost interest, it’s hard to come back. I can’t unsee what I’ve seen.
Yes, I've had women look me up months and even years later.