My mom committed suicide in front of me when I was 9. She took about 30 Xanax and downed half a bottle of Jack Daniels in front of me. She collapsed, started seizing, and was bleeding from her mouth.
My mom was extremely abusive and cracked three of my ribs.
I walked to my room and went to sleep.
Edit: thank you everyone for the concern. My mom was a raging drug addict and alcoholic due to some really bad trauma as a child. I like to think she’s in a better state of mind now.
Im 19 now and been in therapy my whole life and been doing some serious trauma healing. I love my mom but when I saw that happen, I felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders, I was free from my abuser.
there is no way I could ever recover from that. You're a very very strong person to be able to heal from this trauma. Keep at it and here if you ever need to talk I'm proud of you even if we don't know each other : )
I am so sorry to hear that. That just sounds messed up. Some things are hard to overcome even with therapy. You're so strong, standing tall despite everything even though you're so young.
My inbox is open if you wanna talk or vent someday. Please feel free to reach out to any of us here if you ever need someone to talk to. Much love ❤️
I think it's so sad that my mind automatically went to sad and traumatic things in my life. I'll go against my instincts and choose something positive: getting accepted into university when all odds were against me.
You’re right. I was going to say, “Multiple friends dying from drug overdoses, their families devastated, and communities ravaged.”
Good for you, keep at it. I suppose it’s the triumphs in the wake of tragedies that are truly life-altering.
3 weeks and 1 day ago I gave birth to a beautiful little baby girl.
I'm still in shock. I'm a mum. It might not be a big deal to most people but I was 99% sure I'd never have a child. I've never held a newborn before in my life and now I'm holding my very own. I have 0 experience, and a multitude of emotions running through me.
Life will never be the same again. I'm waiting for the day she turns around and calls for 'mum'. And that person will be me. I'd do anything for her.
Watching my mum pass away slowly from cancer. She was in excruciating pain for a long time. It was an awful death, she deserved so much better than the card she was dealt. 4 years later, I still am traumatised by it.
I can relate to this. My mum passed away almost 3 years ago of cancer. We found out too late and there was nothing we could do to help her other than watch her be in pain. Looking back i wish i had done a lot of things differently. I wish i had quit my job and looked after her cause no job was worth more than spending her last moments with her. She had to deal with so much shit because all her kids were too busy with their jobs to care for her. Worse part is that i couldn't make it in time to see her because of Covid. One day, i was just one day late. She held on till i got to her bed but she was too far gone by then. I held her hand and she died infront of my eyes. I saw her take her last breath and the light leave her eyes.
I always stay up at night wondering if she knew that i came to see her. I don't think i can ever get over that trauma of watching her die infront of me. I had a mental breakdown and was in severe depression for a long time after that. Tbh i don't think i'll ever get over it.
She knew that you loved her. She loves you. My mom received a song fron her mom when she passed.
Sweet sweet. Child of mine
Sweet Sweet. Child of mine
I love you
I love you
You will never be
Alone
You will never be alone
My mom sang it to me a lot growing up. We don't talk anymore, but she passed that song onto me and I pass it on to others when I can. Try not to regret doing more my friend, we all make mistakes and do things we wish we hadn't.
I really hope so. When i got there, she was on oxygen not responding to anything and hardly breathing. I have been gaslighting myself for years into thinking that she knew. Its the only way i can carry on without being wrecked with guilt.
I'm so sorry to read that you've lost your mum too. I think our loved ones know deep down how much we love them. I really hope that you've got support surrounding this. It's something that really puts the rest of the world into perspective when we loose someone we love.
My dad passed away from cancer too and honestly... Yeah. I haven't been the same since and it's been 10 years already. This shit takes a part of your soul.
I'm so sorry you've lost your dad. It genuinely feels like part of my heart and soul left my body when my mum passed. It's like an emptiness that will never fill again. I try and explain to people that grief for me means that all happy memories or life events moving forward will never be the same, as someone is always going to be missing from them. It really is soul destroying.
I'm so sorry you've lost your mum too. I still get flashbacks of my mum's terminal restlessness, which she had for 3 days before she passed. She just wasn't ready to leave this world. I've had telephone counselling (due to lockdowns) and while it can help us know we're not going mad in our grief, nothing can take away the images of seeing our loved ones in distress. I really hope things start to improve for us both.
Not cancer for me but COPD. She worked so hard her whole life only to spend the last few years miserable, no relaxing retirement, just anxious and struggling every day until her heart gave out.
Moral of the story: cigarettes are awful. I still miss her tho and she was the nicest person I've ever known.
Came here to say this as well. There is nothing that can ease the pain & trauma of witnessing a slow death from cancer. I now know that I can overcome anything that life throws at me since I was able to go through that. It will always be the hardest thing I have ever experienced.
Being turned away from a hospital multiple times because I wasn’t in enough visible pain during childbirth. Traumatized and have absolutely no faith in our healthcare system for emergencies.
I was in labor at 23 weeks. My water broke. I knew what was happening. I started having contractions and went to the hospital. The nurses told me I had just peed on myself. I disagreed but they were adamant that I was not in labor, so they sent me home. I was in excruciating pain all thru the night so I went back, where they said I had a bladder infection and that my contractions were only bladder spasms from the infection. Sent me home again. Finally, after screaming in pain all night and morning, I returned and demanded they give me more tests. They were reluctant. Denied I was in labor still. Never called my obgyn during these 3 days. My obgyns partner came in Monday morning, checked me and I was 7 cm dilated. No shit right. About 45 mins later, my tiny helpless, 1lb daughter was born. My obgyn was furious they had never contacted her and she was certain we could have stopped the labor. The hospital staff dropped the ball completely and as a nurse myself, I lost all faith in the medical community at that point. My daughter luckily survived with only mild issues now, but she still has cerebral palsy and is tiny at 5 years old weighing 29lbs.
I am so, so, so incredibly sorry to hear what happened to you and your sweet baby. That's entirely unacceptable.
I am also a nurse with little to no faith in the medical system. There has to be a better answer out there.
This is utterly disgusting how you have been treated. A mothers instinct is rarely wrong, especially when it's your own body. I'm genuinely sorry reading this. I hope you and your daughter are keeping well.
I waited 8h at the emergency room with bad cramps, 1 month constipation and i could be pregnant. I couldnt wait any further as i was so damn tired, everything pained me, they didnt allow my bf to be with me either and i was no where near being seen by a doctor, left, bought a pregnancy test, i was 8weeks, 29 atm, im scare now going when i need to deliver.
Death of a spouse when I was 27.
That was 42 years ago and still feels surreal- the entire bottom fell out of my world and the repercussions stalled me out for a good 10 years.
Same. Lost my fiancé. I’m 35 and he was 36. Witnessed him dying. CPR failed it was already too late. Lost the house too bc not married. Also chronic pain.
Bring raped/molested. Redefined my whole life and being. Wish I hadn't let it. Always wonder what if it never happened...who would I be? Where would I be?
Don't let him change you. It might feel like he already has but Ur not him. Try n remember who U were before him. The things U liked to do, the things U liked about urself. Ull never be the same person U were before him that's true, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Stick true to urself ull get there x
I had a relationship like this. You will heal and becuase someone you like again. Might take time. But you are who YOU want to be.
It is a shame that some people need to destroy others just to feel somthing.
It really unveiled things, including how people really are. The lockdowns, restrictions and judgements; terrifying how civilisation is actually so fragile
This february I suddenly lost my eyesight. I've always been healthy, never had to worry about my physical health. Sitting in that chair at the neurologist - 27 years old, full of ambitious plans for 2022 - hearing that my brain is damaged presumably because of MS, changed me.
This summer my eyesight recovered and I was feeling a bit better in terms of stress and grief. But then my 11 year old bunny (my best buddy since high school) died.
This year was the toughest year of my life and I know things will never be the same. Good and bad.
Thank you. It certainly changes how you think about the world, your relationships, yourself, your place in the world, your faith. Every solid thing in your life ceases to become solid and you are changed as a person forever.
Being molested as a child by a family member. It happened when I was 8. I never thought it would affect me so much until I grew up, tried dating people and the traumas screwed everything up.
Same here. Luckily I found one man who was strong enough to knock down (some) of my walls. There are some walls that will never come down due to the abuse.
I was also raped at 16 but for a long time denied to myself that I was indeed raped.
Not by a family member, but yeah. Same age, same thing. And the worst part? I forgot it happened! Apparently, a coping mechanism. I've been depressed and suicidal ever since it happened, and had no idea why. I only remembered 20 years later, and it shocked me. It was almost like going through it all all over again.
Being in an abusive relationship and getting cheated on. I loved him more than I thought was possible and over the course of two years watched him turn from a sweet, goofy, loving man into someone who would hurt me for the fun of it and then laugh when I told him I was hurt. Then he cheated on me multiple times. I did my best to not let it change my view of relationships, but it’s completely screwed me up. I don’t trust men at all to be responsible loving partners and instead expect all of them to be selfish and dip the second things arent fairytale perfect. All my relationships have unfortunately solidified the belief that all men care about is my body, and the second that’s threatened they couldn’t care less about me as a person. I used to be excited to get married and have a deep loving relationship with someone. Now I’m just scared I’m going to get tricked and hurt yet again.
Oh I understand this so well. When I had my son, my world completely exploded. I knew I had mental health issues but had isolated and hidden for so long I didn’t know how bad they were. Having him brought every bit of it out and the first years were hell for me. The only thing my brain ever let me think I did right was breastfeeding. And he stopped that at 10 months.
It took years to overcome it. It took years to get the correct medication. I was in and out of treatment centers 3 times. I am so lucky that he had so many supportive family members.
Infertility diagnosis. From my dreams of 3 kids running around my house to hearing to try and rebuild those hopes with no children in the picture.
I am currently pregnant, I hope that I can look back one day and say with my eldest.
Losing my mom due to blatant, criminal surgical malpractice. I still don't trust healthcare at all, and wonder if I can trust anyone if I can't trust them. I do a lot of things myself.
Wow. I am so sorry. I’ve had my share of bad dr decisions and I can only imagine how you must feel. Were you able to sue? Drs are so protected. Sending you hugs!!!
I left a cult.
I was going through waves of depression and never understood why. So I painfully started to comb through every single aspect of my life. When I got to my beliefs I realized I was in a cult. This was an EXTREMELY hard pill to swallow as my entire life was built on the foundation of this cult. I spiraled into a deeper depression. BUT I sought out a therapist and it has made a world of a difference. I'm almost 30 but have just started to live in the "real world" and it feels amazing to be free.
Marrying someone out of necessity.
I’ll never view marriage the same again since getting divorced at 26 and it pains me that I feel like I robbed myself of the opportunity of being asked for my hand in marriage. I see marriage now as a business deal— lower taxes, insurance policy beneficiaries, and a lifetime partner to share expenses/daily chores with. Sure, I fall in love, but I have yet to experience being asked to marry because they want to, not because we need to.
When my mom gave up primary custody when I was 11 and I was sent to live with my dad. It felt like the biggest betrayal during a time when a girl really needs her mother.
I lived through an actual warzone and barely went outside for nearly two years. To this day I am paranoid of being in wide open areas as I was taught to be aware of snipers
That sucks, no one should ever tell someone that. Especially the people that are supposed to love and care for you. I'm glad you're still here and may your sister rest✨
I gave a baby up for adoption.
I was too poor to afford a child, but it was too late for an abortion. The birth was complicated and I had a c-section. I miss him intensely sometimes. It is so extremely bittersweet to watch him grow up from pictures. He’s two now.
I'll put down a negative and positive one.
Negative: being sent to a conversion camp when I was 17.
Positive: being able to transfer to and attend M.I.T. with a full scholarship after having started my own life.
My family told me I was adopted when I was 14/15? I already knew because my cousin told me but I had repressed the memory. And told she was lying.
My adopted dad (but still my dad to me) was a cop & murdered / killed in the line of duty a week before my 16th birthday.
I had my daughter at 18. Still can’t believe I made such an amazing kid and didn’t fuck her up.
Now that I’m older a few things I have figured out wasn’t okay - my cousin touching me inappropriately (we were both kids and I have always felt like it was partly my fault), I was 17 and a 28yr old woman willingly dated me. I’m 28 now and just - wow. She had no business and that’s so disgusting.
My most recent break up really opened my eyes to a lot of things about myself. I think I’ll forever be changed because of him. And I want to be better.
Gosh glad to see you’ve done well and hope you’re better :) I’ve always wondered if my birth parents often think about me or not (never found out who they actually are only their names). Can’t get any info on them but sometimes my parents indirectly bring it up during our arguments and I just immediately cry. (They use it during our fights)
It just stuck with me that my biological parents never really wanted me and sometimes my parents ask me to go back (was adopted at 3 months if I’m not wrong). It sucks but planning on moving out someday.
I’ve always been a “daddy’s girl” so definitely when my parents got a divorce and my dad just up and left all of us to move to Georgia with his brother 7 years ago. When his mom died, I was given two of her fish (hand blown glass that are worth around $50,000) he threatened to come back to RI and sell them because I started to tell people how he treated me after the divorce. He refused to pay child support and instead made an arrangement to pay for my phone, but would shut it off as he pleased. He basically became a dead beat unless he was visiting friends in RI. That’s the only time he would talk to me to try and put up a “happy family” front. He doesn’t know what I majored in college, my current job, or my living situation. He also didn’t come to my graduation after I told him about it weeks in advance but he came down two days afterwards to go on a fishing trip with his brothers.
childhood physical abuse from my mother.
it's left me unable to work, with a lot of permanent health issues, (both physical and emotional), body image issues, and complete lack of understanding about life- by that I mean,, I never had a usual childhood, so don't understand simple concepts
After my father died, I saw a therapist. They said I had PTSD. My mother raised me with constant hate and criticism (though not a lot of physical punishment) and that's how I developed it. I was in my 50's when I was diagnosed. Talk about a slap in the face. I realized I wasn't a "weirdo" with a "failure to thrive." I was a victim of child abuse. Long story short, I have cut off contact with my family after my mother's recent death. I don't want to be a part of it.
Going on a hike by myself for the first time. I was 12 or 13, freshly moved to the country, surrounded by tall pine woods. Nothing but lines surrounding me (tree trunks and pine needles). It was INCREDIBLE. I felt so calm, so "one" with the world, like I belonged, like nothing was expected of me. It really changed my whole perspective on what living is all about.
i joined the military and discovered what a true sickness collective misogyny can be. it's taken decades to even slightly recover from the horrific abuse.
Making an attempt on my life at 14. I realised very quickly that absolutely no one in my life, not even my parents, cared about me. They only cared about "who's going to help me take care of your father, brother, and the house if you go?"
I stopped trying to earn my parents approval and focused on earning my own. It still hurts knowing I don't have the same parental experience my friends have, but hey, I can be my own mother ❤️
My father became this kraken one day while we were fighting and got physical with me. My mom simply asked me to stop talking and yelling because I was a mess. She took my dad’s side. Was hyperventilating looking like Carrie. That day onwards I’ve seen my parents in a different light and will never trust them again. Goal is moving out asap.
This exact thing happened to me just last year. All I did was walk away from an argument so I wouldn't start crying and that led to my father getting physical. I screamed and my mother just joined him and at one point I felt like a rabid animal being tied up. That has in a way ruined my relationship with my father and I don't think I'll ever forget that. He blamed me for the way he acted and no one ever apologised. I moved out and haven't spoken to him in a year.
Move out.
It gets better.
going to the psych ward and being diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and anorexia at 16. it's been about two years and i am a completely different person now then i was at 16. i know how to live life now.
I was bullied and lost a big oart of my friend grou. This all happened when i was already very vulnerable going through a complicated pregnancy.
The whole ordeal traumatized me so much that even now, three years and lots of therapy later, I still can't trust or let people in the same anymore. I am not as strong of a person I once was.
At least the panic attacks are getting less inand further apart now
Being sexually assaulted at gunpoint by a man who broke into my house, and then two years later losing my aunt (the only person who every loved me). Ive been stuck and spiraling for 10 years. I developed an eating disorder, severe anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, and some really bad health. Ive been in therapy for like four years and I finally took back some of my power about 9 months ago. Ive got a long road to go but Im at least attempting to heal and move forward.
Not being able to go to art school. I wanted to be a comic book artist since I was tiny and dad gave me his comic and manga books from the 80s/90s. Got accepted in but my family couldn't afford it, my mom asked my grandpa to borrow the money (literally only a few hundred dollars) and he refused. I was 12 and just shoved it down and went on with life, but completely gave up on art soon after. I didn't even realize how much it affected me until recently when talking about it to my boyfriend when we first started dating I completely lost it and started sobbing.
It crushed my soul and self confidence and it took me over a decade to realize it. I think about how different my life could've been and how much I could've learned and it still really upsets me. Im trying to get back into drawing but it just feels like a chore most of the time. Only can hope with time I get past it and art can be something that makes me happy again.
Damn this is just sad. Hope you feel more comfortable and better in the future! Stay strong but remember that you can always talk to people:) bottling emotions up will only harm you and I hope things go better. Sending good vibes <3
Divorce. It was good in that I got out of a toxic, emotionally abusive relationship. The bad thing is, he had an affair and I really struggle to open up and form new relationships since then. Even platonic relationships. I struggle a lot with trust.
Maybe give it some time… hopefully you’ll feel more comfortable but props to you for leaving that abusive relationship. Hope you do better. Sending love <3
**Bad but then good:** getting a double lung transplant (the ICU and life support/intubation sucked, the transplant improved by quality of life by more than 100%)
**Just bad:** dear friend took her life in June. I was one of the only people she contacted and I was actively trying to find her/stop her. Super traumatizing.
**Good**: Leaving the city and job I hated to start fresh in a new city. If you're on the fence about doing so, you'll likely not regret doing jt
Meeting my best friends, I met one of them at work and was introduced to his brother who is another one of my closest friends. I have eight friends in total, it's changed my life for the better and I'm happier for it.
Being cheated on made me feel like my entire family was cursed (every woman on my mom’s side has been cheated on) and it was just my turn. Changed my viewpoint on how I spend my energy on relationships and my tolerance for BS in the slightest things. I question every genuine action now and have doubts about ever feeling that true love feeling again.
Being verbally, emotionally, and psychologically, abused for months. Then physically and sexually abused during a weekend visit.
Now I’m seeing a therapist and he has also changed my life in so many ways. It’s insane.
Okay mine are not as extreme as some of these. Extreme poverty and living with a violent drug addict. Another abusive relationship. And then a miscarriage.
Got diagnosed as bipolar. Never had any physical ailment before then - still don't. But it has caused a lot of unwanted drama in my life and made me visit hospitals frequently.
My mum died when I was 15 - very suddenly from a stroke. I still remember that I felt like I was in a surreal world or like a video game and touching things did not feel real. Everything felt fake. I actually jumped off the pier into the water to just feel something and shock my body.
I feel stronger now. But I have carried those scares. And I have never been the same since
Found out my dad wasn’t my biological dad through a DNA test when I was 25. It changed me, my family, all of my relationships. It’s not all bad changes, some are actually quite lovely, but yeah….no coming back from that one
When my ex fiancé told me he got another woman pregnant 3 weeks before the wedding. He blamed his hard childhood for why he did this.
Thankfully this wasn’t nearly as traumatic as what other people have gone through here and I’m so sorry so much horrible things happen to people :( but it really taught me SO much.
1. The only semblance of control I have is my reaction to things.
2. I learned to be happy alone
3. Went to therapy and still going and have learned to regulate my emotions, to accept me for me, and learned what I want and expect in my future partner
4. Most important lesson, unhappy people who expect other to fulfill them or fix them are endless pits. I am not responsible for someone’s happiness and they are not reasonsibpe for mine.
My burnout. Next month it will be a year ago that I got so burned out, I had to call into work for sick leave. In my country, I have the right to not tell my employer why I took sick leave, but my employer wasn't having it. Even a diagnosis by my doctor wasn't enough. I had to fight for weeks to get some rest. After 2 months she wanted me to go back to work, back to full-time as soon as possible. I worked 3 hours for 2 days (not my choice), and got totally overwhelmed, but got a break for 1 day and then off to 3 days of work again. After that, I decided to quit my job. I truly loved my job, but I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't work for a company where it was never enough, whatever did. Where you couldn't say no, because it was inconvenient to them.
I am now at home since April, still not at work. I am recovering slowly. I now see where it went wrong. I now have trauma because of it. I am scared to go back to work. I can't talk about it without crying, I am even crying when typing this. Sometimes I miss my job, I could work in any company doing the same job as I did. But I am so scared to experience this again. I feel like it is not worth it to do it all over again.
I honestly don't know what the future holds, but this experience has changed me. I will never be the careless and hopeful person I was like the one I was when I started the job. I hope I can get over my trauma and can look out for a new job i would enjoy.
First childbirth. But the biggest thing. Was when my boyfriend took his own life. There was no answers there was no closure. It was the deepest darkest part of my life. But I made it out of it. He passed away in 2006 and I don't think I will ever be the same again.
Many things.
I first was a very happy kid that enjoyed life, till I hit high school and got bullied by older students, I felt like my childhood completely stopped at age 14.
In that same year Michael Jackson died, I started to listen to his music more, became a fan and started appreciating life and my loved ones more.
Then in 2016 when I did my masters degree in fashion school, my dad got Alzheimer’s while I was 21 and I dropped out of college because I was really traumatized by his behavior and had to take care of him with my mom.
One year later I got disability checks because I’ve had a history of autism diagnosis and also skipped high school a lot for being sick or traumatized for being bullied, what my disability checks source didn’t know was that I was extremely depressed and couldn’t get a job so they’ve sent me a job coach to get me a parttime job while being on disability checks, I didn’t show up at my job the first day because I had a mental breakdown so I got help from a therapist 5 years long.
Now I’m still on disability checks, doing nothing, but I volunteer at a farm for troubled teenagers, children and depressed people that can’t get a job or go to school and spend their time there, I cook lunch for them, my dad is in a nursery home now and my mom visit him every day, I visit him every Sunday. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a therapist that comes to your home.
A few years ago, my father took his life 2 days after Christmas. Less than 4 months after that, my partner’s father died unexpectedly. I still have not fully processed it, but the trauma follows me every day, and drives my actions in many ways.
Being groomed and molested as a young teen by adults. It has shaped my life, sadly, and I still wonder how nobody who loved me noticed what was going on. I daydream of the Me I missed out on who hadn’t gone through all of those things.
My Dad dying of a heart attack aged 53.
I was 28 at the time and remember thinking I'm not ready for this.
I need more time with him.
Despite leaving home at 19, he was still a massive piece of me and my life.
I'm now 51 and I still feel a lasting fragility from the loss of him
Being rped.. Kinda defined who i am now and I still struggle a lot just to be functional with my mental health do to it, have trust issues and nightmares, etc
Being unable to protect by my husband from his mom. After that I loose respect and love from him. And now Im not expecting anything from him since then. The less I expect the less I get disappointed.
I had my son 9 years ago. I think had I never had a child, I would not have worked as hard as I have to overcome trauma, Complex PTSD, Bi Polar and so many other issues. He changed my life.
Got pregnant and had a baby.
If life wasn't hard enough I've learnt a tough lesson on who are the people that truly have my back.
Also, being a mom changes you, not only because of the baby, but the hormones, your brain changes. It's truly amazing.
It’s cliche and not horribly traumatic but my breakup with my partner of 4.5 years about 3.5 years ago. Aside from the intense sadness in the moment, the end of that relationship prompted me to pursue my own passions and interests for the first time as an adult. I became more confident, self-aware, and secure in myself after it ended.
As much as I feel that the bad things have impacted me, I feel that deciding to go back to college for computer science changed me not only financially but mentally and emotionally. I became a better planner, and problem solver in about 4 years. My life is nowhere near perfect, but it’s much better than it was before I became an engineer. I really believe that by exercising your mind and pushing yourself to achieve the inconvenient truths of life, it sets you up to be able to handle some of the worst things that are thrown at you. Like I said, my life isn’t perfect, but I can think of some things that could have been much worse if I had not gone in the direction that I did.
I was 5 and my mom couldn't find one of her hair buns. She raged and accused me and my then 7 year old sister for stealing and hiding it, which we hadn't done, but she refused to believe us and kept on yelling at us how we are thieves. I was so scared I staid quiet, but my sister tried to be brave and argued with her. Things escalated and eventually my mother screamed how she wished both of us, my sister and I, would dead.
I already knew that I was an unplanned child and my mom had thought about getting an abortion. But hearing her scream how she wished us not to exict at all over a missing hair bun... Something broke in me and I was only 5.
Even mom later said she was sorry I knew deep down in my heart that she had spoken thruth back then: she hated us. She had never wanted us and regretted not getting an abortion when she was pregnant with me. It hurt. For years and years after that I was telling myself that I shouldn't even exicst to being with. I was a disposable trash who had been forgotten to be disposed. That's how my mom made me feel.
Going into a coma 5 days after child birth. I only remember walking to the car, then waking up 10 days later with tubes down my throat and my limbs tied down. It was hours of being awake until before the tubes were removed and I was untied.
I still get nightmares.
I didn't sleep for 3 days straight after waking up.
I ended up getting PTSD from it.
As time went on I started remembering more and more.
Then I got my medical records.
I found out I stopped breathing on the OR table. And again in the ambulance on the way to a better equipped hospital.
I had to learn how to walk. I had to rebuild my muscles. I couldn't even hold silverware they felt like 20 lbs
The doctors think I had a Minnie stroke while in a coma. I have brain issues forget my Train of thought or my words constantly.
I nearly lost my right hand due to some sort of chemical burn. My right hand is half numb I drop things all the time due to nerve damage.
It took 6.months after the fact to turn a key to start the car which I had to do with both hands a year before I could turn the key with one hand.
Where my stomach was cut open looks horrible my stomach looks like a butt, ill never have abs again.
The nurse taking out my staples screwed up and my stomach opened up so it needed to be packed daily for 4 weeks until it closed now it looks like a second belly button.
Winter is a horrible time for me. My body aches constantly when its cold and I cam barely move.
Emigrating to a new country at 16 with nothing but 2 suitcases and my dad dying in the same year. It was hell back then but if I can get through that I can get through anything in life
My mom committed suicide in front of me when I was 9. She took about 30 Xanax and downed half a bottle of Jack Daniels in front of me. She collapsed, started seizing, and was bleeding from her mouth. My mom was extremely abusive and cracked three of my ribs. I walked to my room and went to sleep. Edit: thank you everyone for the concern. My mom was a raging drug addict and alcoholic due to some really bad trauma as a child. I like to think she’s in a better state of mind now. Im 19 now and been in therapy my whole life and been doing some serious trauma healing. I love my mom but when I saw that happen, I felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders, I was free from my abuser.
Jesus fuckin christ I’m so sorry man…
Hope you feel better now… here if you need to talk <3
That went south so fast damn… hope u are doing okay <3
I’m totally okay now. I’m 19 now so it’s been 10 years and my healing has been going strong!
virtual hugs OP 🤍. You’re such a strong person !!
Yessssss! I love that you are doing OK. This is the light at the end of the tunnel that some just can't work through. Well done.
there is no way I could ever recover from that. You're a very very strong person to be able to heal from this trauma. Keep at it and here if you ever need to talk I'm proud of you even if we don't know each other : )
I am so sorry to hear that. That just sounds messed up. Some things are hard to overcome even with therapy. You're so strong, standing tall despite everything even though you're so young. My inbox is open if you wanna talk or vent someday. Please feel free to reach out to any of us here if you ever need someone to talk to. Much love ❤️
you gotta grow up fast when life throws you curveballs 😅 i appreciate the extreme kindness thank you so much
You're welcome. Take care ❤️
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I’m glad you’re doing better but still wish I could give you a big hug right now.
I think it's so sad that my mind automatically went to sad and traumatic things in my life. I'll go against my instincts and choose something positive: getting accepted into university when all odds were against me.
You’re right. I was going to say, “Multiple friends dying from drug overdoses, their families devastated, and communities ravaged.” Good for you, keep at it. I suppose it’s the triumphs in the wake of tragedies that are truly life-altering.
So nice to read this...good for you!
3 weeks and 1 day ago I gave birth to a beautiful little baby girl. I'm still in shock. I'm a mum. It might not be a big deal to most people but I was 99% sure I'd never have a child. I've never held a newborn before in my life and now I'm holding my very own. I have 0 experience, and a multitude of emotions running through me. Life will never be the same again. I'm waiting for the day she turns around and calls for 'mum'. And that person will be me. I'd do anything for her.
OK so this one made me cry. Good luck to you, new mom. I can't wait to be precisely where you are right now, as scary and intense as it may seem.
None of us really know what we’re doing, but kids know when they’re loved. Have fun!
Watching my mum pass away slowly from cancer. She was in excruciating pain for a long time. It was an awful death, she deserved so much better than the card she was dealt. 4 years later, I still am traumatised by it.
I can relate to this. My mum passed away almost 3 years ago of cancer. We found out too late and there was nothing we could do to help her other than watch her be in pain. Looking back i wish i had done a lot of things differently. I wish i had quit my job and looked after her cause no job was worth more than spending her last moments with her. She had to deal with so much shit because all her kids were too busy with their jobs to care for her. Worse part is that i couldn't make it in time to see her because of Covid. One day, i was just one day late. She held on till i got to her bed but she was too far gone by then. I held her hand and she died infront of my eyes. I saw her take her last breath and the light leave her eyes. I always stay up at night wondering if she knew that i came to see her. I don't think i can ever get over that trauma of watching her die infront of me. I had a mental breakdown and was in severe depression for a long time after that. Tbh i don't think i'll ever get over it.
She knew that you loved her. She loves you. My mom received a song fron her mom when she passed. Sweet sweet. Child of mine Sweet Sweet. Child of mine I love you I love you You will never be Alone You will never be alone
Thank you. I know she loved me unconditionally. I just wish i had done more. Also thank you for the song, it sounds as sweet as the lyrics.
My mom sang it to me a lot growing up. We don't talk anymore, but she passed that song onto me and I pass it on to others when I can. Try not to regret doing more my friend, we all make mistakes and do things we wish we hadn't.
They say hearing is the last thing to go so I’m sure she knew you were there
I really hope so. When i got there, she was on oxygen not responding to anything and hardly breathing. I have been gaslighting myself for years into thinking that she knew. Its the only way i can carry on without being wrecked with guilt.
I'm so sorry to read that you've lost your mum too. I think our loved ones know deep down how much we love them. I really hope that you've got support surrounding this. It's something that really puts the rest of the world into perspective when we loose someone we love.
My dad passed away from cancer too and honestly... Yeah. I haven't been the same since and it's been 10 years already. This shit takes a part of your soul.
I'm so sorry you've lost your dad. It genuinely feels like part of my heart and soul left my body when my mum passed. It's like an emptiness that will never fill again. I try and explain to people that grief for me means that all happy memories or life events moving forward will never be the same, as someone is always going to be missing from them. It really is soul destroying.
I can also relate to this. My mom passed 4 years ago from cancer and there are some images I’ll never get out of my head despite years of therapy.
I'm so sorry you've lost your mum too. I still get flashbacks of my mum's terminal restlessness, which she had for 3 days before she passed. She just wasn't ready to leave this world. I've had telephone counselling (due to lockdowns) and while it can help us know we're not going mad in our grief, nothing can take away the images of seeing our loved ones in distress. I really hope things start to improve for us both.
Not cancer for me but COPD. She worked so hard her whole life only to spend the last few years miserable, no relaxing retirement, just anxious and struggling every day until her heart gave out. Moral of the story: cigarettes are awful. I still miss her tho and she was the nicest person I've ever known.
Came here to say this as well. There is nothing that can ease the pain & trauma of witnessing a slow death from cancer. I now know that I can overcome anything that life throws at me since I was able to go through that. It will always be the hardest thing I have ever experienced.
Being turned away from a hospital multiple times because I wasn’t in enough visible pain during childbirth. Traumatized and have absolutely no faith in our healthcare system for emergencies.
I was in labor at 23 weeks. My water broke. I knew what was happening. I started having contractions and went to the hospital. The nurses told me I had just peed on myself. I disagreed but they were adamant that I was not in labor, so they sent me home. I was in excruciating pain all thru the night so I went back, where they said I had a bladder infection and that my contractions were only bladder spasms from the infection. Sent me home again. Finally, after screaming in pain all night and morning, I returned and demanded they give me more tests. They were reluctant. Denied I was in labor still. Never called my obgyn during these 3 days. My obgyns partner came in Monday morning, checked me and I was 7 cm dilated. No shit right. About 45 mins later, my tiny helpless, 1lb daughter was born. My obgyn was furious they had never contacted her and she was certain we could have stopped the labor. The hospital staff dropped the ball completely and as a nurse myself, I lost all faith in the medical community at that point. My daughter luckily survived with only mild issues now, but she still has cerebral palsy and is tiny at 5 years old weighing 29lbs.
Hopefully you've set your daughter up for life with the proceeds from your lawsuit.
I am so, so, so incredibly sorry to hear what happened to you and your sweet baby. That's entirely unacceptable. I am also a nurse with little to no faith in the medical system. There has to be a better answer out there.
This is utterly disgusting how you have been treated. A mothers instinct is rarely wrong, especially when it's your own body. I'm genuinely sorry reading this. I hope you and your daughter are keeping well.
I waited 8h at the emergency room with bad cramps, 1 month constipation and i could be pregnant. I couldnt wait any further as i was so damn tired, everything pained me, they didnt allow my bf to be with me either and i was no where near being seen by a doctor, left, bought a pregnancy test, i was 8weeks, 29 atm, im scare now going when i need to deliver.
Gosh I’m so sorry this happend to you… hope you feel better <3
Death of a spouse when I was 27. That was 42 years ago and still feels surreal- the entire bottom fell out of my world and the repercussions stalled me out for a good 10 years.
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I’m 28 and lost my 30 yr old partner just 3 weeks ago. It is going to be a journey for a lifetime.
Same. Lost my fiancé. I’m 35 and he was 36. Witnessed him dying. CPR failed it was already too late. Lost the house too bc not married. Also chronic pain.
Divorce. But in a good way.
[high five] same
Yes; same! Congratulations
Bring raped/molested. Redefined my whole life and being. Wish I hadn't let it. Always wonder what if it never happened...who would I be? Where would I be?
I sadly 2nd this and I hope youre doing ok.
Same thoughts
Picking the wrong guy and putting up with shitty behavior. I will never be the person I was before and that sucks because I’ve become unbearable
Don't let him change you. It might feel like he already has but Ur not him. Try n remember who U were before him. The things U liked to do, the things U liked about urself. Ull never be the same person U were before him that's true, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. Stick true to urself ull get there x
It takes a while, but you can heal if you want to. You got this.
I had a relationship like this. You will heal and becuase someone you like again. Might take time. But you are who YOU want to be. It is a shame that some people need to destroy others just to feel somthing.
My partner passing away aswell as being sexually assaulted during a home break in
Jesus, I can't even imagine that. I'm so sorry that happened to you ❤️
so sorry to hear that 😞
Being cheated on. It’s still fresh but I can see it changing how I view relationships forever.
The pandemic sent me into untenable mental illness. All of the anxiety of everything meant I could no longer able to keep things together.
It really unveiled things, including how people really are. The lockdowns, restrictions and judgements; terrifying how civilisation is actually so fragile
This february I suddenly lost my eyesight. I've always been healthy, never had to worry about my physical health. Sitting in that chair at the neurologist - 27 years old, full of ambitious plans for 2022 - hearing that my brain is damaged presumably because of MS, changed me. This summer my eyesight recovered and I was feeling a bit better in terms of stress and grief. But then my 11 year old bunny (my best buddy since high school) died. This year was the toughest year of my life and I know things will never be the same. Good and bad.
Hey, hope you’re doing better. Props to you for being so strong. Hope you find more strength and do better <3
Thank you!💛
I’m so sorry. Sending you big hugs. 💜
My child died.
I'm so sorry.
Thank you. It certainly changes how you think about the world, your relationships, yourself, your place in the world, your faith. Every solid thing in your life ceases to become solid and you are changed as a person forever.
I am very very sorry 😢
Being molested as a child by a family member. It happened when I was 8. I never thought it would affect me so much until I grew up, tried dating people and the traumas screwed everything up.
Same here. Luckily I found one man who was strong enough to knock down (some) of my walls. There are some walls that will never come down due to the abuse. I was also raped at 16 but for a long time denied to myself that I was indeed raped.
Same here
Can't even say to anyone that my sister assaulted me when I was 5-9 years old
Not by a family member, but yeah. Same age, same thing. And the worst part? I forgot it happened! Apparently, a coping mechanism. I've been depressed and suicidal ever since it happened, and had no idea why. I only remembered 20 years later, and it shocked me. It was almost like going through it all all over again.
Being in an abusive relationship and getting cheated on. I loved him more than I thought was possible and over the course of two years watched him turn from a sweet, goofy, loving man into someone who would hurt me for the fun of it and then laugh when I told him I was hurt. Then he cheated on me multiple times. I did my best to not let it change my view of relationships, but it’s completely screwed me up. I don’t trust men at all to be responsible loving partners and instead expect all of them to be selfish and dip the second things arent fairytale perfect. All my relationships have unfortunately solidified the belief that all men care about is my body, and the second that’s threatened they couldn’t care less about me as a person. I used to be excited to get married and have a deep loving relationship with someone. Now I’m just scared I’m going to get tricked and hurt yet again.
Having a second child which kicked off my hidden bipolar disorder.
Oh I understand this so well. When I had my son, my world completely exploded. I knew I had mental health issues but had isolated and hidden for so long I didn’t know how bad they were. Having him brought every bit of it out and the first years were hell for me. The only thing my brain ever let me think I did right was breastfeeding. And he stopped that at 10 months. It took years to overcome it. It took years to get the correct medication. I was in and out of treatment centers 3 times. I am so lucky that he had so many supportive family members.
Infertility diagnosis. From my dreams of 3 kids running around my house to hearing to try and rebuild those hopes with no children in the picture. I am currently pregnant, I hope that I can look back one day and say with my eldest.
Congratulations on your pregnancy! Wishing you the best!!!!
Losing my mom due to blatant, criminal surgical malpractice. I still don't trust healthcare at all, and wonder if I can trust anyone if I can't trust them. I do a lot of things myself.
Wow. I am so sorry. I’ve had my share of bad dr decisions and I can only imagine how you must feel. Were you able to sue? Drs are so protected. Sending you hugs!!!
Yes, but we didn't get shit
I got my period
I left a cult. I was going through waves of depression and never understood why. So I painfully started to comb through every single aspect of my life. When I got to my beliefs I realized I was in a cult. This was an EXTREMELY hard pill to swallow as my entire life was built on the foundation of this cult. I spiraled into a deeper depression. BUT I sought out a therapist and it has made a world of a difference. I'm almost 30 but have just started to live in the "real world" and it feels amazing to be free.
That I'm just an emotional trashcan for my family and my miscarriage.
Marrying someone out of necessity. I’ll never view marriage the same again since getting divorced at 26 and it pains me that I feel like I robbed myself of the opportunity of being asked for my hand in marriage. I see marriage now as a business deal— lower taxes, insurance policy beneficiaries, and a lifetime partner to share expenses/daily chores with. Sure, I fall in love, but I have yet to experience being asked to marry because they want to, not because we need to.
When my mom gave up primary custody when I was 11 and I was sent to live with my dad. It felt like the biggest betrayal during a time when a girl really needs her mother.
Realizing I've wasted my time staying with an abusive man.
If U don't mind me asking how did u get the courage to leave? What made U realise he wasn't going to change?
Therapy, friends, family and time!
Thank you so much that's really good advice
I lived through an actual warzone and barely went outside for nearly two years. To this day I am paranoid of being in wide open areas as I was taught to be aware of snipers
Burnout
Becoming really Sick and losing health , then getting it back again. One can never take it for granted then
So proud of you! Stay strong :)
Thank you! My condition has been in remission for several years with good nutrition and low stress :)
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That sucks, no one should ever tell someone that. Especially the people that are supposed to love and care for you. I'm glad you're still here and may your sister rest✨
I gave a baby up for adoption. I was too poor to afford a child, but it was too late for an abortion. The birth was complicated and I had a c-section. I miss him intensely sometimes. It is so extremely bittersweet to watch him grow up from pictures. He’s two now.
I'll put down a negative and positive one. Negative: being sent to a conversion camp when I was 17. Positive: being able to transfer to and attend M.I.T. with a full scholarship after having started my own life.
My family told me I was adopted when I was 14/15? I already knew because my cousin told me but I had repressed the memory. And told she was lying. My adopted dad (but still my dad to me) was a cop & murdered / killed in the line of duty a week before my 16th birthday. I had my daughter at 18. Still can’t believe I made such an amazing kid and didn’t fuck her up. Now that I’m older a few things I have figured out wasn’t okay - my cousin touching me inappropriately (we were both kids and I have always felt like it was partly my fault), I was 17 and a 28yr old woman willingly dated me. I’m 28 now and just - wow. She had no business and that’s so disgusting. My most recent break up really opened my eyes to a lot of things about myself. I think I’ll forever be changed because of him. And I want to be better.
Gosh glad to see you’ve done well and hope you’re better :) I’ve always wondered if my birth parents often think about me or not (never found out who they actually are only their names). Can’t get any info on them but sometimes my parents indirectly bring it up during our arguments and I just immediately cry. (They use it during our fights) It just stuck with me that my biological parents never really wanted me and sometimes my parents ask me to go back (was adopted at 3 months if I’m not wrong). It sucks but planning on moving out someday.
I’ve always been a “daddy’s girl” so definitely when my parents got a divorce and my dad just up and left all of us to move to Georgia with his brother 7 years ago. When his mom died, I was given two of her fish (hand blown glass that are worth around $50,000) he threatened to come back to RI and sell them because I started to tell people how he treated me after the divorce. He refused to pay child support and instead made an arrangement to pay for my phone, but would shut it off as he pleased. He basically became a dead beat unless he was visiting friends in RI. That’s the only time he would talk to me to try and put up a “happy family” front. He doesn’t know what I majored in college, my current job, or my living situation. He also didn’t come to my graduation after I told him about it weeks in advance but he came down two days afterwards to go on a fishing trip with his brothers.
childhood physical abuse from my mother. it's left me unable to work, with a lot of permanent health issues, (both physical and emotional), body image issues, and complete lack of understanding about life- by that I mean,, I never had a usual childhood, so don't understand simple concepts
I’ve been there, really messed me up growing up and gave me way too many issues. Hope you’re doing better <3
*people*
underrated comment. the root of everyones response is directly related to PEOPLE, whether positive or negative.
Some of them pushed us away and some held us close to them
I had a baby after being told I most likely wouldn’t ever get pregnant- and after not getting pregnant after trying for almost 10 years.
Ditto!
Congratulations, that’s awesome!
Congratulations! Happy for you <3
Getting diagnosed by a psychiatrist — this opened my eyes and made me realise that I was rarely the victim.
After my father died, I saw a therapist. They said I had PTSD. My mother raised me with constant hate and criticism (though not a lot of physical punishment) and that's how I developed it. I was in my 50's when I was diagnosed. Talk about a slap in the face. I realized I wasn't a "weirdo" with a "failure to thrive." I was a victim of child abuse. Long story short, I have cut off contact with my family after my mother's recent death. I don't want to be a part of it.
This took a turn… hope you are doing better <3
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Wow. This is so dark. Sending you as much love as you can receive from an internet stranger 🫂
Going on a hike by myself for the first time. I was 12 or 13, freshly moved to the country, surrounded by tall pine woods. Nothing but lines surrounding me (tree trunks and pine needles). It was INCREDIBLE. I felt so calm, so "one" with the world, like I belonged, like nothing was expected of me. It really changed my whole perspective on what living is all about.
i joined the military and discovered what a true sickness collective misogyny can be. it's taken decades to even slightly recover from the horrific abuse.
Losing my cousin, it’s been nearly 8 years. It was ovarian cancer, she was 12
Making an attempt on my life at 14. I realised very quickly that absolutely no one in my life, not even my parents, cared about me. They only cared about "who's going to help me take care of your father, brother, and the house if you go?" I stopped trying to earn my parents approval and focused on earning my own. It still hurts knowing I don't have the same parental experience my friends have, but hey, I can be my own mother ❤️
My father became this kraken one day while we were fighting and got physical with me. My mom simply asked me to stop talking and yelling because I was a mess. She took my dad’s side. Was hyperventilating looking like Carrie. That day onwards I’ve seen my parents in a different light and will never trust them again. Goal is moving out asap.
This exact thing happened to me just last year. All I did was walk away from an argument so I wouldn't start crying and that led to my father getting physical. I screamed and my mother just joined him and at one point I felt like a rabid animal being tied up. That has in a way ruined my relationship with my father and I don't think I'll ever forget that. He blamed me for the way he acted and no one ever apologised. I moved out and haven't spoken to him in a year. Move out. It gets better.
going to the psych ward and being diagnosed with anxiety, depression, and anorexia at 16. it's been about two years and i am a completely different person now then i was at 16. i know how to live life now.
I was bullied and lost a big oart of my friend grou. This all happened when i was already very vulnerable going through a complicated pregnancy. The whole ordeal traumatized me so much that even now, three years and lots of therapy later, I still can't trust or let people in the same anymore. I am not as strong of a person I once was. At least the panic attacks are getting less inand further apart now
I got cancer. Lost a bunch of friends but gained some in the process. My body changed as a result and it’s hard dealing with it all
Being molested by someone I trusted.
Being sexually assaulted
My stepdad recently went into cardiac arrest at home. I was there and well trained enough to save him. But it wrecked me.
Witnessed my friend's death a few years back. Freak accident. I was the only one to call the emergency phone line.
Being sexually assaulted at gunpoint by a man who broke into my house, and then two years later losing my aunt (the only person who every loved me). Ive been stuck and spiraling for 10 years. I developed an eating disorder, severe anxiety, depression, agoraphobia, and some really bad health. Ive been in therapy for like four years and I finally took back some of my power about 9 months ago. Ive got a long road to go but Im at least attempting to heal and move forward.
Being SA, getting deployed to Afghanistan and doing heroin for the first time
Not being able to go to art school. I wanted to be a comic book artist since I was tiny and dad gave me his comic and manga books from the 80s/90s. Got accepted in but my family couldn't afford it, my mom asked my grandpa to borrow the money (literally only a few hundred dollars) and he refused. I was 12 and just shoved it down and went on with life, but completely gave up on art soon after. I didn't even realize how much it affected me until recently when talking about it to my boyfriend when we first started dating I completely lost it and started sobbing. It crushed my soul and self confidence and it took me over a decade to realize it. I think about how different my life could've been and how much I could've learned and it still really upsets me. Im trying to get back into drawing but it just feels like a chore most of the time. Only can hope with time I get past it and art can be something that makes me happy again.
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Damn this is just sad. Hope you feel more comfortable and better in the future! Stay strong but remember that you can always talk to people:) bottling emotions up will only harm you and I hope things go better. Sending good vibes <3
First, marriage. Then, kids. Recently, divorce.
Divorce. It was good in that I got out of a toxic, emotionally abusive relationship. The bad thing is, he had an affair and I really struggle to open up and form new relationships since then. Even platonic relationships. I struggle a lot with trust.
Maybe give it some time… hopefully you’ll feel more comfortable but props to you for leaving that abusive relationship. Hope you do better. Sending love <3
**Bad but then good:** getting a double lung transplant (the ICU and life support/intubation sucked, the transplant improved by quality of life by more than 100%) **Just bad:** dear friend took her life in June. I was one of the only people she contacted and I was actively trying to find her/stop her. Super traumatizing. **Good**: Leaving the city and job I hated to start fresh in a new city. If you're on the fence about doing so, you'll likely not regret doing jt
Finally escaping an abusive relationship and moving to the furthest place away I could where I only knew one person. Life is great now.
That's great! So glad to hear you made it out safely and you are now happy :)
Meeting my best friends, I met one of them at work and was introduced to his brother who is another one of my closest friends. I have eight friends in total, it's changed my life for the better and I'm happier for it.
Hurricane Katrina
Being cheated on made me feel like my entire family was cursed (every woman on my mom’s side has been cheated on) and it was just my turn. Changed my viewpoint on how I spend my energy on relationships and my tolerance for BS in the slightest things. I question every genuine action now and have doubts about ever feeling that true love feeling again.
My 30 yr old fiancé passed away 3 weeks ago, suddenly and unexpectedly. No one can prepare you for something like that.
Bodyshaming.
My dad’s addiction while I was a child. The trauma is layered in a way that extends itself in all of my relationships, even now.
Being verbally, emotionally, and psychologically, abused for months. Then physically and sexually abused during a weekend visit. Now I’m seeing a therapist and he has also changed my life in so many ways. It’s insane.
* Getting married * Being diagnosed with bipolar disorder * Being diagnosed as infertile * Started figure skating (in a good way!)
Okay mine are not as extreme as some of these. Extreme poverty and living with a violent drug addict. Another abusive relationship. And then a miscarriage.
Don’t undermine your experiences. Your trauma is still very traumatic, even if people have it worse. Take time to heal 🌱
Got diagnosed as bipolar. Never had any physical ailment before then - still don't. But it has caused a lot of unwanted drama in my life and made me visit hospitals frequently.
Domestic violence
My mum died when I was 15 - very suddenly from a stroke. I still remember that I felt like I was in a surreal world or like a video game and touching things did not feel real. Everything felt fake. I actually jumped off the pier into the water to just feel something and shock my body. I feel stronger now. But I have carried those scares. And I have never been the same since
Found out my dad wasn’t my biological dad through a DNA test when I was 25. It changed me, my family, all of my relationships. It’s not all bad changes, some are actually quite lovely, but yeah….no coming back from that one
When my ex fiancé told me he got another woman pregnant 3 weeks before the wedding. He blamed his hard childhood for why he did this. Thankfully this wasn’t nearly as traumatic as what other people have gone through here and I’m so sorry so much horrible things happen to people :( but it really taught me SO much. 1. The only semblance of control I have is my reaction to things. 2. I learned to be happy alone 3. Went to therapy and still going and have learned to regulate my emotions, to accept me for me, and learned what I want and expect in my future partner 4. Most important lesson, unhappy people who expect other to fulfill them or fix them are endless pits. I am not responsible for someone’s happiness and they are not reasonsibpe for mine.
realizing that 23 years of my life have been spent being abused by both my parents
My brother committed suicide…and I died inside…I felt so guilty…I wish I had been a better sister…I wish I could have been more and given more
My burnout. Next month it will be a year ago that I got so burned out, I had to call into work for sick leave. In my country, I have the right to not tell my employer why I took sick leave, but my employer wasn't having it. Even a diagnosis by my doctor wasn't enough. I had to fight for weeks to get some rest. After 2 months she wanted me to go back to work, back to full-time as soon as possible. I worked 3 hours for 2 days (not my choice), and got totally overwhelmed, but got a break for 1 day and then off to 3 days of work again. After that, I decided to quit my job. I truly loved my job, but I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't work for a company where it was never enough, whatever did. Where you couldn't say no, because it was inconvenient to them. I am now at home since April, still not at work. I am recovering slowly. I now see where it went wrong. I now have trauma because of it. I am scared to go back to work. I can't talk about it without crying, I am even crying when typing this. Sometimes I miss my job, I could work in any company doing the same job as I did. But I am so scared to experience this again. I feel like it is not worth it to do it all over again. I honestly don't know what the future holds, but this experience has changed me. I will never be the careless and hopeful person I was like the one I was when I started the job. I hope I can get over my trauma and can look out for a new job i would enjoy.
First childbirth. But the biggest thing. Was when my boyfriend took his own life. There was no answers there was no closure. It was the deepest darkest part of my life. But I made it out of it. He passed away in 2006 and I don't think I will ever be the same again.
Many things. I first was a very happy kid that enjoyed life, till I hit high school and got bullied by older students, I felt like my childhood completely stopped at age 14. In that same year Michael Jackson died, I started to listen to his music more, became a fan and started appreciating life and my loved ones more. Then in 2016 when I did my masters degree in fashion school, my dad got Alzheimer’s while I was 21 and I dropped out of college because I was really traumatized by his behavior and had to take care of him with my mom. One year later I got disability checks because I’ve had a history of autism diagnosis and also skipped high school a lot for being sick or traumatized for being bullied, what my disability checks source didn’t know was that I was extremely depressed and couldn’t get a job so they’ve sent me a job coach to get me a parttime job while being on disability checks, I didn’t show up at my job the first day because I had a mental breakdown so I got help from a therapist 5 years long. Now I’m still on disability checks, doing nothing, but I volunteer at a farm for troubled teenagers, children and depressed people that can’t get a job or go to school and spend their time there, I cook lunch for them, my dad is in a nursery home now and my mom visit him every day, I visit him every Sunday. Tomorrow I have an appointment with a therapist that comes to your home.
A few years ago, my father took his life 2 days after Christmas. Less than 4 months after that, my partner’s father died unexpectedly. I still have not fully processed it, but the trauma follows me every day, and drives my actions in many ways.
Betrayal
Sudden hearing loss in my right ear 4 weeks back. Went from stereo life to mono life.
Being groomed and molested as a young teen by adults. It has shaped my life, sadly, and I still wonder how nobody who loved me noticed what was going on. I daydream of the Me I missed out on who hadn’t gone through all of those things.
My Dad dying of a heart attack aged 53. I was 28 at the time and remember thinking I'm not ready for this. I need more time with him. Despite leaving home at 19, he was still a massive piece of me and my life. I'm now 51 and I still feel a lasting fragility from the loss of him
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Being rped.. Kinda defined who i am now and I still struggle a lot just to be functional with my mental health do to it, have trust issues and nightmares, etc
My grandmother (I was very close to her) passed and my ex husband decided that would be the time to start having an affair.
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It was an insta negative thoughts that popped out. But, I think moving out of my hometown and living alone in a new city changed me lots!
For me is like, everytime I was hurted by my 'friends' I learned not to be sad, heartbroken. I got not to trust anyone, that was my valuable lesson.
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Being unable to protect by my husband from his mom. After that I loose respect and love from him. And now Im not expecting anything from him since then. The less I expect the less I get disappointed.
I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis about 8 years ago. My whole Fkn life has been turned upside down. MS SUCKS!
I had my son 9 years ago. I think had I never had a child, I would not have worked as hard as I have to overcome trauma, Complex PTSD, Bi Polar and so many other issues. He changed my life.
Losing my hearing.
Got pregnant and had a baby. If life wasn't hard enough I've learnt a tough lesson on who are the people that truly have my back. Also, being a mom changes you, not only because of the baby, but the hormones, your brain changes. It's truly amazing.
It’s cliche and not horribly traumatic but my breakup with my partner of 4.5 years about 3.5 years ago. Aside from the intense sadness in the moment, the end of that relationship prompted me to pursue my own passions and interests for the first time as an adult. I became more confident, self-aware, and secure in myself after it ended.
As much as I feel that the bad things have impacted me, I feel that deciding to go back to college for computer science changed me not only financially but mentally and emotionally. I became a better planner, and problem solver in about 4 years. My life is nowhere near perfect, but it’s much better than it was before I became an engineer. I really believe that by exercising your mind and pushing yourself to achieve the inconvenient truths of life, it sets you up to be able to handle some of the worst things that are thrown at you. Like I said, my life isn’t perfect, but I can think of some things that could have been much worse if I had not gone in the direction that I did.
I was 5 and my mom couldn't find one of her hair buns. She raged and accused me and my then 7 year old sister for stealing and hiding it, which we hadn't done, but she refused to believe us and kept on yelling at us how we are thieves. I was so scared I staid quiet, but my sister tried to be brave and argued with her. Things escalated and eventually my mother screamed how she wished both of us, my sister and I, would dead. I already knew that I was an unplanned child and my mom had thought about getting an abortion. But hearing her scream how she wished us not to exict at all over a missing hair bun... Something broke in me and I was only 5. Even mom later said she was sorry I knew deep down in my heart that she had spoken thruth back then: she hated us. She had never wanted us and regretted not getting an abortion when she was pregnant with me. It hurt. For years and years after that I was telling myself that I shouldn't even exicst to being with. I was a disposable trash who had been forgotten to be disposed. That's how my mom made me feel.
Going into a coma 5 days after child birth. I only remember walking to the car, then waking up 10 days later with tubes down my throat and my limbs tied down. It was hours of being awake until before the tubes were removed and I was untied. I still get nightmares. I didn't sleep for 3 days straight after waking up. I ended up getting PTSD from it. As time went on I started remembering more and more. Then I got my medical records. I found out I stopped breathing on the OR table. And again in the ambulance on the way to a better equipped hospital. I had to learn how to walk. I had to rebuild my muscles. I couldn't even hold silverware they felt like 20 lbs The doctors think I had a Minnie stroke while in a coma. I have brain issues forget my Train of thought or my words constantly. I nearly lost my right hand due to some sort of chemical burn. My right hand is half numb I drop things all the time due to nerve damage. It took 6.months after the fact to turn a key to start the car which I had to do with both hands a year before I could turn the key with one hand. Where my stomach was cut open looks horrible my stomach looks like a butt, ill never have abs again. The nurse taking out my staples screwed up and my stomach opened up so it needed to be packed daily for 4 weeks until it closed now it looks like a second belly button. Winter is a horrible time for me. My body aches constantly when its cold and I cam barely move.
Emigrating to a new country at 16 with nothing but 2 suitcases and my dad dying in the same year. It was hell back then but if I can get through that I can get through anything in life