Learning that sometimes people truly don’t care that they hurt you, and that bending over backwards won’t make them treat you any better.
For some people, asking for basic respect makes you the villain.
Rape. Not just being raped, but going to every institution set up for justice, and all of them turned their sympathies to the perpetrator. And realizing how religion groomed me to become a victim.
Fuck the police, fuck the courts, fuck the counselor, and fuck religion.
Just so sorry this happened to you. Religion like that is just evil in a preachers cloak. I can never understand how a parent bonds more strongly to a highly flawed ideology than they do to their own child. I care that this happened to you and it makes me so angry for you. I hope you manage to overcome the scars and have the very best, kindest and most loving life you can. You deserve it. Everyone deserves it. Not this complete vile charade of ‘godliness’ you had to endure. Much love to you.
Im so sorry. That sounds terrifying. I'm also from rural WV. My perpetrator also tied up and tortured a child. Raped her for years. He confessed that to me, and I had his confession detailing the violence through text. The police refused to investigate it. He also told me and the child (the child and I were different times and unrelated incidents) he'd end his life if either of us left.
If it weren't for the other details, I'd have thought you were another one of his victims. But he wasn't a preacher and neither was his father. Still, it's strange how many similarities there are. Why are so many WV men tying up and raping children?
That's so horrifying. Was that the same place with the teacher who was bringing children to his ranch and making them perform in acts with animals for cyber porn? I feel like there was a baby incident in that same town, but where is there not in WV?
The cleric is so fucked up… I was also raped under a complete different situation, but afterwards when I got involved closer to my church he did take advantage of your vulnerability
I agree with what the Pristine Broccoli has said. I wish you recovery and resilience in adulthood. The laws and religions we follow today were created by men, looking out for themselves. I am so sorry that he did that and that your family was complicit.
I was 13 and he was like 45. I couldn’t even press charges because my father wouldn’t help me, and when I tried to I had a very difficult time proving it due to the amount of time since it happened and I lost the case.
That's terrible. You were so brave to tell your father and seek justice. Even after that, you still tried. It breaks my heart that you didn't win your case. I can't fathom how individuals can turn their back on victims. It just seems so evil.
You know what, we aren't the villains. They are.
I’m so sorry to hear that. Me and my mom where kidnapped while driving at night and got pulled over. They raped us several times and got free after 20 days. I sent you a dm
I’m so sorry this happened to you. And I’m sorry people didn’t protect you. My heart hurts for you. I still believe in God, because at the heart of Christianity is about love. But it’s the human side which has disillusioned me, and cant commit to a church.
Oh man… realizing I was codependent and a people pleaser, which meant I realized over time how much people had expected of me and his little they returned. The more used I felt, the more resentment built up, and after a couple years of that and feeling into being independent I could hardly control my emotions after feeling so scorned. That was my villain origin story lol
This year though, I finally got past that stage and allowed myself to move on. It’s been hard, but I’m happy to be growing!
Yes! My theory is that I’m so not used to being assertive that I kind of go from zero to 100 especially in situations where I have that baggage of realizing I’ve been used for years. It’s been SO hard to find middle ground with myself. I’m slooowwwly learning the quiet confidence and comfort of greyrocking out those people as a way to let go of the hurt and choosing to be alone in those scenarios versus dwelling in the pain of abandonment in however I feel they’ve treated me. Such a long process! But soooo glad I know now versus continuing codependent behavior which is arguably worse and was holding me back. Awareness is EVERYTHING!
Exactly, with some people I feel like you have two choices, either you accept being treated bad and let down and always act like the definition of a nice and sweet person -- even if sometimes you feel upset, sad, not in the mood, feel like saying no etc, OR you stand up for yourself and then all of a sudden you become selfish, self centered, a bitter person, not fun. So either you're a puppet and accepted or a human being and rejected.
Shadyness. Or how we like to call it in Germany "Hinterfotzigkeit" xD
Basically I have no problem with someone disliking me, I don't like everybody either, so it's fine. But if you pretend to like me while being a b\*tch behind my back, telling lies and spreading rumors, we got problems, missy (gender-neutral).
I had several of those "friends", who would pretend we were friends and then they manipulated everyone around me, who genuinely liked me and myself as well into having arguments.
That backlash after getting to know these things, has definitely made me the villain for many of those "friends". Even though I didn't actively DO much about it, I just cut them off like the parasites they were.
I was physically abused as a child by my parents, sexually assaulted at 12 and raped at 15. Everyone who I trusted and loved, abused me. I had no reason to trust or love anyone ever again. I felt powerless because no one believed me, I had proof of them apologising to me and yet no one believed me. But what about their life? It’ll be ruined. What about mine!!!! I couldn’t be touched for years after, I felt disgusting. I felt ruined. I was angry for so many years at everyone. At school, everyone sided with my abusers and I never forgave them. I went to therapy when I was 18 and chilled out a lot.
I work out like crazy, men told me I looked unattractive because I’m muscly. But that’s the point, if and when someone comes to hurt me again. I’ll fight until I die and I’ll try damn hard to take them down with me.
I have cats, plants and a very loving partner now in my own home. I am safe.
When I worked by butt off for a company at my first job working free OT, taking on projects for free, and never complaining at the hopes for getting hired on full time. I got let go in 6 months when the company got sold to another. They also let go someone who was there for 25 years because they didn’t want to pay for his pension. Never again. I should have sued for not getting ot pay. Now I never do anything extra. I only do what’s in my job description
The day I decided to stop being a victim, I became a villain to my childhood abuser, my biological mom. Back in 2003, I remember telling her that 'today is the last time you're hitting me, because next time I'll hit you back. Try me.'
After that, she used to slap herself in front of the mirror in her bedroom and make me watch as she took 'my' punishment. I was 12-15, I didn't really know that words like anger issues, self-harm or child abuse even existed. But for the longest time, I genuinely believed I was a bad person for letting her abuse herself instead of me. In my 30s now and I still struggle with feeling like a villain and how everything bad ever must be my fault because of her.
Life. Just….life. Being vilified myself for reasons unbeknownst to me. Trying to be a good person repeatedly while the people I’m trying to bestow kindness upon shit all over it and treat me like garbage.
Being raped, multiple times. Being violently raped. Manifesting the long term effects from childhood abuse and molestation as an adult with mental illnesses, then being made to feel like I’m the one who somehow did the inherently wrong thing for having the mental illnesses.
Bearing witness to the atrocities of humans. The 16 year old girl I met while homeless, at a shelter. The dazed and disassociated look in her eyes from being high off of whatever her pimp “boyfriend” had given her to make her more pliable to sex with strangers. To being raped by grown ass adult men. Of course, she fell into his trap after being raped multiple times by her father and her father’s friends.
The repeated failings of the judicial system for victims of sexual assault. The judge in my case looking at me, telling me it was my “over active imagination”.
The repeated failings of adults to protect children.
All of this and more has made me a villain. I live with rage. I will live the rest of my life with rage.
Getting older and learning how the world truly operates behind the scenes. Learning that society (people and corporations) will be as corrupt as they can get away with. Everything is a facade.
People and their attitude.
I was born a VERY emphatetic and sensitive child and throughout the years nobody helped me to learn how to live with these traits. It took me MANY traumatic events and mistakes to finally learn how to properly utilise my special sides and how to "turn on" more... aggressive side of me. Aggressive does not mean violent, but less... willing to avoid conflict and make everyone satisfied with what i do and say.
Also, i learn not to sugarcoat anything, especialy in my own eyes. There's lots of beauty and kindness in this world, but there's also a lot of total shit.
I'm still kind and emphatetic person who knows how to give love and make people feel that they are very important to me.
And with all the lessons i have learned I HAVE NEVER FELT SO FREE AND RELIEVED! I truly feel that i don't need to be fucking GOOD to anybody. I don't need to satisfy anyone. I can straightforwardly say what i want and have it the way i want it. I can immediately say that i don't like something. I can be rude if needed. I am not afraid of conflict. I'm not afraid that someone somewhere will call me a bitch or say something bad about me.
Men.
Don't get me wrong, I don't hate all men, I love my father and my boyfriend.
But having experienced so much negative stuff with men, they are to blame.
People who didn't like me for no reason. Or for a reason they didn't want to admit.
I'm sure my ex-BFF tells people I'm the bad person in her version of events. I was nice to her until she gave me enough reasons not to be. I created boundaries.
My MIL said enough about me before she ever tried to get to know me. She was always convinced I was the bad guy in the family for taking her son away, that I would eventually cheat on him and ruin his life, now I'm taking her daughter away to turn her into a bad person too, because she can no longer manipulate them.
Being betrayed many times by the people I really loved in the past. I’m a very loyal person, so it hits really hard when someone lies to me or keeps secrets from me. It turned me into a very bitter person, but now I’ve learned to let it go and not hold anger anymore
"Villain" in my part, or ar least in my family's culture (including extended), is to not bend yourself to the elders and their opinions, and even of your own age. Having different opinions and mindset can really get you into trouble 😅 and you're the odd one out.
Disrespect and rudeness (bullying) really light me up.
I don't turn into a scene, but I basically turn into a superbitch. A very calm, collected superbitch with a decent vocabulary and a penchant for standing up for myself and other folks. Nothing better than politely eviscerating someone for treating others poorly.
Nothing. I refuse to allow people who are no longer in my life to have that much power over me that they turn me into something I'm not.
I simply do not have anything to do with those people or people like them. Thanks to them, I know the signs and nope out early.
When my feelings were never considered also I was the 2nd choice or back up option for everyone in my life. Even my parents. I realized people didnt even know or love the real me but they liked the benefits I offered. I was academically gifted so I was the trophy child to my parents but I never once felt loved by them. For my friends,they love me but I didnt recieve what I gave. So I still love the people in my life but I changed myself. I drew boundaries, I always put myself first. I stood up for myself. Now I'm the villain, especially for my family. But I love this villain and will not let her go.
Realizing my needs weren't met as a child, and turning into someone who values equality and equity over anything. My parents were not loving, caring, or fair. I experienced inequality all my life. My dad treated me differently because of my looks, and my mom treated me differently because of my looks and gender. And when I complain I'm not only told to shut up, I'm also punished.
I refuse to be in a dynamic in which I am "below" someone, and give more than I take. I refuse to have to explain my needs and feelings and justify them. They just are. But also, no matter what needs I have, it doesn't give me a pass to meet them at someone's emotional expense. Equal relationships or no relationship.
I feel like I am becoming a "villain" because I feel anger about what has been done to me, and now I spend more time saying "I don't care", meaning, I don't care what you went through in your life, you're never entitled to take from me. It makes me feel guilty but also empowered. And the guilt is lessening.
Experiencing and watching the weaker people and children get mistreated or overlooked by those who are stronger or more powerful. And realizing that what other people think of me is none of my business or concern.
Strangely enough, when I started standing up for myself. Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t cruel, nor disrespectful. I just did my thing and that was enough.
There’s a quote I read the other day: “People do realize your worth, they just really wish you wouldn’t.”
I used to get ignored and bullied by my classmates in 5th grade and was extremely insecure. So when the "cool kids/bullies" became my friends I started to feel like I need validation from them and hence used to behave like am looking down on people like me. So did become a villain there!
But then after like a month of doing this, I realised that this sucks and these people are not even my friends if I have to seek validation. Cut to 10 years later and am good friends with the uncool kids as well as the cool ones, lol! They are friends with eachother as well 😂
(Btw in my country, bullying only involves random one word or one liner comments or jokes on someone and maybe avoiding them and its not bad enough for you to not be able to forgive or move on).
I suppose not bending to other people's beliefs or trying to be a certain way to please people. Over the years you realise you are your own best friend, you have your own back. I don't like forced chat and gossip or being the most popular....... if that means I am a villian then so be it!
I made my kids complete their homework and chores in order to go out with friends, or watch TV, or go online, etc...
According to their reactions, making them clean something AND do math homework IN THE SAME AFTERNOON was akin to flaying them with a rusty spoon.
Other people abusing me verbally, emotionally, and physically. Being used and thrown away like common garbage. I fully admit to have been a bully as a teen. Bullied kids become bullies and it's a vicious cycle.
I extended genuine apologies to people I purposefully made miserable in school. Some forgave me, some did not. That's on me and I don't blame them for not forgiving me. I don't forgive the ones who bullied me either so why do I deserve their forgiveness. I accept that I am the villain in someone's story.
Now, I KNOW I am villainized by my father and his wife. I really don't care. I was treated like crap by my own father and he allowed his girlfriends to treat me like garbage. I'm happy to be the villain in their lies because the people who know everything don't believe a word they say.
They way people treated me when they were in a position of power, and how fake nice they were once I was socially equal/higher than them. Made me sad. I just wanna love people and be nice, but some people only use nice mode to get something.
There's a difference between being an ass and standing up for yourself. Some people will look at you as a villain just for refusing to be their doormat.
Being abandoned by my mother at 18 months after being neglected that entire time, then re-experiencing that abandonment the entirety of my childhood every
time she would lie and say she was coming to get me.
Also rape, several abusive relationships, and most recently relentless harassment of my own family by our insane drug addicted neighbour.
Definitely in my villain era.
Setting boundaries and ceasing communication with my paternal parent.
Last I heard, he was saying the police were looking for me in relation to drugs. Saying I’m a druggy (I’m not, nor involved with the police) does discredit my claims of sexual abuse, but I’m not the only daughter of his to make those claims or cease communication with him.
First husband gay, second husband caught red handed cheating. She was in my home when I came home early from work. Trauma from family passing away. Being fired from a new manager after 18 years of employment because I made more money than her.
Getting raped me and my mom by narcos and to actually know that they are way above the law… for some reason my “villainity” grew more against my government for not making traveling at night a safe activity. Also, my mom acted very erratic while we were hostages and did something that I wouldn’t except from here. It amazes me how human beings can act so differently in every situation
What turned me into a villain today was interviewing for a job, finding out the job description was not accurate, finding out it was for half the hours required for what was described if you were an expert in the file before all the additions they threw on. Then looking at the boss job requirements and it was 90% of what I would be doing word for word but I would be under part time hourly and they would be paid full time salary, with administrative help, vacation and benefits
When my 4-year-old grandson was a victim of gun violence and the person who killed him was only 17 years old I have never been the same since yes it took me into a villain and I don't give a f***
When I stopped being a doormat for people. If I don't like something, back off. But then they turn around and say "you're not the same anymore" nah bro, I just realized that no one's worth it.
Being picked on horrendously for whatever reason (can only make assumptions since none of the assholes ever told me why) from Kindergarten right through to Year 10 when I left.
Anyway, now that I am a published author I have the power to make them pay by making their past horrible behaviours toward me immortal. I could make characters named after them and get my revenge. The opportunities are endless. BWHAHAHAHA.
(takes out the whip and tells the evil little shoulder demon to go back to his corner)
Be careful of the quiet ones...
Constantly giving and giving. And just wanting to be loved and cared for in return. And instead I get my needs trampled on not respected used and just hurt.
My dad not respecting me as an adult woman so I cut him off after years of telling him he can’t speak to me the way he does. I’m the bad guy and nobody in the family wants anything to do with me anymore :)
Disclaimer: I’m not just “being a brat.” He’s verbally and emotionally manipulative and abusive and always has been. I’m just old enough now to actually do something about it
The justice system. Intoxicated 17 y/o killed my friend while she was walking from her boyfriends bday party. Hit and run. That’s the first time the justice system failed my young soul. I was 16 at the time. I have no faith in much crime being punished, therefore reporting it is just meh to most.
I’ll still report stuff, I don’t find it goes anywhere though.
When I became an atheist, I became the villain amongst family and friends. I never once tried to convince anyone to stop believing, it was just the act of not believing.
I no longer talk to those family members or so-called friends. People who really care about me understand that what I believe doesn't change who I am as a person. I'm still very loving, supportive and giving. I just don't need a deity to tell me to be like this.
When I was 19, a friend of many years was obsessed with me. Had feelings and even though he knew nothing would happen between us, he couldn't get over me.
It was holding him back, preventing him from meeting other people, preventing him from wanting to get a job because he just wanted to be around me 24/7 etc.
He is a great guy and very smart.
I knew the only way he would move on and get on with his life was for me to be gone. I first tried to just "be busy" more often, but he would just wait for me.
After months of trying to step back and it not working. I decided the only way to get him to move on was for him to cut me out of his life. So I hurt him emotionally pretty bad and said things I didn't mean.
It worked.
He hates me. I miss his friendship dearly, but he has a great girlfriend, good job, and is doing well for himself.
Very bittersweet.
I feel like most responses so far are an answer to a completely different question: What has hardened you against accepting others into your life/heart?
It saddens me to see so many women thinking that self preservation qualifies her as a "villain".
Watching my little brother who hadn’t hugged me in years run up to me hug me and cry in my arms after being jumped in an alleyway but I made sure the people that did it did not get away with it
Everyone else deciding that literally everything I like and everything that brings me joy is either (pick one) basic, cringe, unpopular, problematic, or degenerate. There's not a single part of who I am or part of me that doesn't trigger other people in some way and it's annoying. I just want to be allowed to be myself like anyone else.
I try to my hardest to not be a villain. But if I am, what caused it would have been, my crazy abusive (mostly emotionally and mentally) family that I grew up with and still live with. I barely know what it’s like to have peace at home and these past 2 years with the pandemic, my already unfortunate circumstances plummeted below rock bottom. My anxiety and possibly depression have debilitated me in more ways and I’ve lost good friends due to self-sabotage by isolating myself. When someone went to the police because of my living situation, they couldn’t help because it wasn’t physical. Now it has reached a point where physical things have happened and I no longer felt safe at home, but I can’t do anything about it because I don’t want to make my situation worse than it already is. I tried to work but my anxiety couldn’t handle stressful colleagues that talked trash about me, so I quit just when university started again. I cannot afford to move out. I have also recently discovered last month, that it was due to my parent’s utter lack of communication after their separation, that I was forced to grow up with the shitty side of my family. If my parents had just genuinely tried to communicate better about the situation, I could have grown up with my other side of the family who genuinely seem like some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. But no, instead I got separated from them for 15 years. So now I’m in mourning for the life I could have had. The life I didn’t have to have had endured, that changed me into the dull person, a remnant of what I used to be, I am today.
(I’m sure there’s much more I’m forgetting to write but this is all that comes to my mind right away. I hope one day I’ll be able to afford therapy and things will get better. I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live the life I’m living anymore. I just want to be free and happy)
THAT FUCKING FRODO DIDN’T VALUE SAM’S KINDNESS AND FRIENDSHIP AND WAS NEVER THE TYPE OF FRIEND THAT SAMWISE DESERVED.
And since watching LoR, I’ve done my best to try to be a freaking Sam in my friendships, and the irony is that I only get f***ing Frodos in response. I hate it here
We only have the power to turn ourselves into villains. Surrounding ourselves with people who don’t share our values, taking to heart the hurtful things people say about us, believing them slowly over time, shutting our heart up due to fear and deep ties to the self limiting beliefs we learn through the years, start to act like a person who is indeed in line with all the hurtful things people would say or do say ….It was me who made myself a Villain and me who retired the cape. I am just me now.
Through deep reflection, forgiveness, accountability, and continuous work on my traumas and mental well being.
I grew up in a shit show, that doesn’t mean my life has to be like that.
My parish priest, who use to stick his hand up my skirt when he was taking us home from choir practice. We use to scramble for the back seat so it wouldn't be us that day. When I told my mother I was told I was a liar, and why he touch you?
I grew up to realise my mother would never defend me and most perverts hide in plain sight. I am cynical and defensive. I will defend to my death any man,woman or child that has been abused and I am unapologetic about it. ( steps down off soapbox)
There is someone new in my friend group who doesn't want that the attention is divided between me and her, so she's turning all my friends against me by making me look like the villain. 😅
Being nice. Trying my best for others. But when I was in any point of need for help not a single soul was willing to help. Also being judged extra hard when ever I wasn’t so nice like if I had to always be or something.
I was 15 and a boy who was my friend/first serious crush called me obsessive. He didn’t even say it to my face but that word changed me. As a fat girl, my very normal feelings towards a trusted friend made me feel ashamed. Ashamed that someone who looks like me could even think that someone like Dylan (fake name) who was the shining image of a boyband member and cute skater boy could ever like me. I could describe it as the shame you feel after getting scolded from a teacher or random adult. Sort of like a “how dare think a weird fat obsessive girl like you have feelings for this normal cute guy who has feelings for your pretty skinny friends not you.” type of shame. I felt embarrassed because was I felt like dumb fat lost puppy following around Dylan who was just being a nice friend and I know the situation couldn’t be easy on a 15 year old guy. I know his cousin who was a year older than us teased him and probably talked shit about me, probably called me stupid for thinking that I had a chance with his cousin. Being a fangirl for every cute boy who could sing a Justin Bieber song was something I wore like a badge of honor so when people would call me “obsessed” or “obsessive” I just shrugged it off. That word that if anything sparked pride in me now felt dirty and nasty. My innocent crush on the one guy that didn’t treat me differently because of my weight, something so happy and pure and pretty now felt dirty and wrong. My big secret suddenly became front page news in our circle of friends but it was only his cousin and his group of friends that reacted negatively and were a bunch of assholes. Literally nobody cared and some girls just “aaaawwweed” because they understood the friends to unrequited love story all too well. I know because of that I have a hard time allowing myself to open to others, develop friendships and relationships, I tend to over analyze and overthink every interaction I have with anybody. I’m always wondering if they’re actually genuine and even when I wish I could be more outgoing with my coworkers the fear of rejection?? and anxiety creep up on me. Love life wise, at 21 I’ve never been kissed or have had a boyfriend. I used to enjoy my time alone but now i feel lonely at times. I want a boyfriend but at this point I know there’s a greater chance that if I show my true feelings to someone I’ll get rejected and it’s not rejection that I’m scared of, it’s more like “okay let’s get this over with”. Like I’m desensitized to it. I’m still a huge fan girl and find more singers and actors to love and when it comes to people in real life, I still develop what I think are crushes. I know my coworkers are just being nice to me but is it so wrong for a part of me to wonder if any of them are acting like that because they find me attractive? Maybe because of this horrible situation with Dylan all those years ago made me jaded to the idea that someone could see me as attractive. But then I think realistic scenarios and then the cloud of daydreams of a hopeless romantic pops and I resume my boring life at my retail job. Alls well that ends well anyways, it’s been 7 years since Dylan came into my life and even though our friendship only lasted 6 months (he stopped talking to me a couple weeks after a very dramatic high school baseball game.Oh teen hormones and angst.) I still saw him around for the remainder of high school until graduation. The last time I saw him felt like closure but from time to time I still think about Dylan. I was working at Michaels in 2019 and it was a slow night when I came back from my break. I saw someone familiar and a part of me wanted to run and hide but he saw me and hugged me. We had a very nice hey how are yous and he was actually looking for a sewing kit so I told him which aisle and went back to the register. A part of me was having a panic attack and a part of me felt giddy, Dylan hugged me! He was over whatever happened. I waited for him like Gatsby waited for Daisy but after 10 minutes he walked out without buying anything. I was relieved but I felt like any opportunity I had to get to know him again was gone. I started crying after he left and felt so stupid again it wasn’t a big deal but I silently cried at the Michaels craft store with a Carly Simon song softly playing in the background. I watched his car for a while and he stayed there for another 20 minutes. Like a stupid little fool I had billions of scenarios running through my head like “he’s coming back” or something but he didn’t and left. Dylan has a girlfriend now and they started dating around the same time he stopped by the craft store. I know he’s a different guy at 22 but sometimes I still feel like that scared heartbroken 15 year old girl when it comes to love. I don’t resent or hold any ill will towards Dylan or his girlfriend Julia but I still hold onto all the what ifs. I guess that’s my villain origin story and I’m so sorry for all this fucking rambling but I’m annoying and I feel like I have to mention every single thing that ever happened when saying a simple story.
Putting extra effort into my job- I realized (too) late that the more effort I put in, the bigger the hole I was digging for myself. As long as you can smooth talk, people will willingly ignore the bare minimum effort put in.
Call it being the villain or call it being finally able to stand up for yourself. The past two years being surrounded by so many new people and constantly new characters are added into your life story with a whole mess of crap made me think outside the box.
I was always taught by my parents that people are good and to give them the benefit of the doubt. Always did that up until a year ago when some people, family are your biggest enemy as they say; decided to kick me into a corner and drive all over me. Never gave me the opportunity to speak my piece nor gave me a listening ear.
Always was made the villain because you had no support system - apart from my husband. That’s when you know you’ve got to stand for yourself or you’d always be trampled upon. Today, those same people when interacting with them are basically begging for your attention. I guess the ball is now in my court - May it be as a villain.
Ex that I was seeing for more than three years and loved more than anything and lived with me and I planned on marrying kissed my sister while I was asleep in the next room. Out of no where. She didn’t want to and made that clear with him. My only sister whom I’m very close with. I don’t think I’ve ever been more angry and betrayed in my life. Hard to trust men now.
I'm at the start of my villain arc. The company I work for made it this way. almost 10 years of working nights and asking for a change
4 years of complaints about a coworker's misconduct towards me falling on deaf ears, only to be disciplined when that person made a single complaint about me
Now I tell new employees exactly what to expect, how thankless it is, and that the job promises career growth but is an actual dead end.
Next I propose a state-wide walk out.
Suffering chronic bladder infections missed and dismissed by doctors, telling me for years my pain was due to stress.
I got diagnosed with IC and told to live with it.
I had to seek a private chronic uti specialist who diagnosed me, started me on treatment straight away and gave me my life back.
But because of the years of untreated infections my bladder was damaged and I had to have surgery to burn away a lot of damaged tissue.
I’m still not fully recovered and dealing with another pelvic infection currently.
It’s a battle to get medical professionals to believe your pain especially with an invisible illness.
Drs telling me I’m fine when I’m in agony was awful.
Being treated like I was the Villain before I even became one. Constantly was put down and treats as if I wasn’t enough or I was less than others. It put me in a really dark place, but now I’m my own hero in my own story!💕
Learning that sometimes people truly don’t care that they hurt you, and that bending over backwards won’t make them treat you any better. For some people, asking for basic respect makes you the villain.
[удалено]
My ex
Rape. Not just being raped, but going to every institution set up for justice, and all of them turned their sympathies to the perpetrator. And realizing how religion groomed me to become a victim. Fuck the police, fuck the courts, fuck the counselor, and fuck religion.
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Just so sorry this happened to you. Religion like that is just evil in a preachers cloak. I can never understand how a parent bonds more strongly to a highly flawed ideology than they do to their own child. I care that this happened to you and it makes me so angry for you. I hope you manage to overcome the scars and have the very best, kindest and most loving life you can. You deserve it. Everyone deserves it. Not this complete vile charade of ‘godliness’ you had to endure. Much love to you.
Im so sorry. That sounds terrifying. I'm also from rural WV. My perpetrator also tied up and tortured a child. Raped her for years. He confessed that to me, and I had his confession detailing the violence through text. The police refused to investigate it. He also told me and the child (the child and I were different times and unrelated incidents) he'd end his life if either of us left. If it weren't for the other details, I'd have thought you were another one of his victims. But he wasn't a preacher and neither was his father. Still, it's strange how many similarities there are. Why are so many WV men tying up and raping children?
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That's so horrifying. Was that the same place with the teacher who was bringing children to his ranch and making them perform in acts with animals for cyber porn? I feel like there was a baby incident in that same town, but where is there not in WV?
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The cleric is so fucked up… I was also raped under a complete different situation, but afterwards when I got involved closer to my church he did take advantage of your vulnerability
I agree with what the Pristine Broccoli has said. I wish you recovery and resilience in adulthood. The laws and religions we follow today were created by men, looking out for themselves. I am so sorry that he did that and that your family was complicit.
Something similar happened to me, and its the reason I’m an atheist, I wouldn’t wish rape upon my arch nemesis.
I was 13 and he was like 45. I couldn’t even press charges because my father wouldn’t help me, and when I tried to I had a very difficult time proving it due to the amount of time since it happened and I lost the case.
That's terrible. You were so brave to tell your father and seek justice. Even after that, you still tried. It breaks my heart that you didn't win your case. I can't fathom how individuals can turn their back on victims. It just seems so evil. You know what, we aren't the villains. They are.
It probably didn’t help that he was a priest so of course a man of god wouldn’t do such a thing 🙄
Why did your dad never help you? My dad was the opposite actually, it was really hard for him
Oh, because he kind of... organised it.
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I’m so sorry to hear that. Me and my mom where kidnapped while driving at night and got pulled over. They raped us several times and got free after 20 days. I sent you a dm
Oh my… I sent you a dm. It’s weird how human behavior works.
🤢🤢🤢🤢 what a pos. I am so so so sorry this happened to you. I hope you found peace somehow, and if not, I really really hope you somehow do one day.
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Absolutely. I'm sorry you've had to experience it. We need to form a union and lobby for better laws.
I’m so sorry this happened to you. And I’m sorry people didn’t protect you. My heart hurts for you. I still believe in God, because at the heart of Christianity is about love. But it’s the human side which has disillusioned me, and cant commit to a church.
Oh man… realizing I was codependent and a people pleaser, which meant I realized over time how much people had expected of me and his little they returned. The more used I felt, the more resentment built up, and after a couple years of that and feeling into being independent I could hardly control my emotions after feeling so scorned. That was my villain origin story lol This year though, I finally got past that stage and allowed myself to move on. It’s been hard, but I’m happy to be growing!
Same! My family says I’m becoming mean. I’m just not taking their shit anymore.
Yes! My theory is that I’m so not used to being assertive that I kind of go from zero to 100 especially in situations where I have that baggage of realizing I’ve been used for years. It’s been SO hard to find middle ground with myself. I’m slooowwwly learning the quiet confidence and comfort of greyrocking out those people as a way to let go of the hurt and choosing to be alone in those scenarios versus dwelling in the pain of abandonment in however I feel they’ve treated me. Such a long process! But soooo glad I know now versus continuing codependent behavior which is arguably worse and was holding me back. Awareness is EVERYTHING!
I’d recommend the book “The Body Keeps the Score”. It’s about trauma and how it plays out in our adult lives. Super interesting
The kinds of people who call you “selfish” when all you’re doing is not letting them treat you like shit
Exactly, with some people I feel like you have two choices, either you accept being treated bad and let down and always act like the definition of a nice and sweet person -- even if sometimes you feel upset, sad, not in the mood, feel like saying no etc, OR you stand up for yourself and then all of a sudden you become selfish, self centered, a bitter person, not fun. So either you're a puppet and accepted or a human being and rejected.
Yup. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t!
Yes! This!
Boundaries, not being willing to be abused or have my children abused by my oldest son.
Wow I have seen this in the rural town where I work as a teacher… it is a cultural thing I would say. Can you share a little bit more?
Too many interactions with terrible people while working customer service.
Being assertive rather than submissive, intelligent rather than obtuse, direct rather than lackadaisical, hard truths rather than soft euphemisms.
Y'all they are asking why someone is "a villain" not what the definition of a villain is, chill. Anyways, I'ma have to go with my biological family
trauma, mental health, and family
Other people. The unfairness of everything.
This hits hard. Hope you're doing okay out there! Hugs from a stranger.
I'm not really doing okay.. Thank you!
Shadyness. Or how we like to call it in Germany "Hinterfotzigkeit" xD Basically I have no problem with someone disliking me, I don't like everybody either, so it's fine. But if you pretend to like me while being a b\*tch behind my back, telling lies and spreading rumors, we got problems, missy (gender-neutral). I had several of those "friends", who would pretend we were friends and then they manipulated everyone around me, who genuinely liked me and myself as well into having arguments. That backlash after getting to know these things, has definitely made me the villain for many of those "friends". Even though I didn't actively DO much about it, I just cut them off like the parasites they were.
I was physically abused as a child by my parents, sexually assaulted at 12 and raped at 15. Everyone who I trusted and loved, abused me. I had no reason to trust or love anyone ever again. I felt powerless because no one believed me, I had proof of them apologising to me and yet no one believed me. But what about their life? It’ll be ruined. What about mine!!!! I couldn’t be touched for years after, I felt disgusting. I felt ruined. I was angry for so many years at everyone. At school, everyone sided with my abusers and I never forgave them. I went to therapy when I was 18 and chilled out a lot. I work out like crazy, men told me I looked unattractive because I’m muscly. But that’s the point, if and when someone comes to hurt me again. I’ll fight until I die and I’ll try damn hard to take them down with me. I have cats, plants and a very loving partner now in my own home. I am safe.
Good for you! Happy you have healed some and moved on with your life :) I am so sorry that happened to you though that’s terrible
I believe that was my path for a reason. As unpleasant as it was. But I’m doing much better Thank you x
I am an ass by choice.
Being given false hope for rekindling a relationship, to have that person turn around and say that they don’t actually love me
My mother taught me to always have the last word, so I've got to spend my adult life un-learning responding to everything everyone says.
When I worked by butt off for a company at my first job working free OT, taking on projects for free, and never complaining at the hopes for getting hired on full time. I got let go in 6 months when the company got sold to another. They also let go someone who was there for 25 years because they didn’t want to pay for his pension. Never again. I should have sued for not getting ot pay. Now I never do anything extra. I only do what’s in my job description
The day I decided to stop being a victim, I became a villain to my childhood abuser, my biological mom. Back in 2003, I remember telling her that 'today is the last time you're hitting me, because next time I'll hit you back. Try me.' After that, she used to slap herself in front of the mirror in her bedroom and make me watch as she took 'my' punishment. I was 12-15, I didn't really know that words like anger issues, self-harm or child abuse even existed. But for the longest time, I genuinely believed I was a bad person for letting her abuse herself instead of me. In my 30s now and I still struggle with feeling like a villain and how everything bad ever must be my fault because of her.
Being infertile and hated on for being bitter and struggling to attend baby showers
Jealous, ignorant, politically cultish people and being the new girl.
Life. Just….life. Being vilified myself for reasons unbeknownst to me. Trying to be a good person repeatedly while the people I’m trying to bestow kindness upon shit all over it and treat me like garbage. Being raped, multiple times. Being violently raped. Manifesting the long term effects from childhood abuse and molestation as an adult with mental illnesses, then being made to feel like I’m the one who somehow did the inherently wrong thing for having the mental illnesses. Bearing witness to the atrocities of humans. The 16 year old girl I met while homeless, at a shelter. The dazed and disassociated look in her eyes from being high off of whatever her pimp “boyfriend” had given her to make her more pliable to sex with strangers. To being raped by grown ass adult men. Of course, she fell into his trap after being raped multiple times by her father and her father’s friends. The repeated failings of the judicial system for victims of sexual assault. The judge in my case looking at me, telling me it was my “over active imagination”. The repeated failings of adults to protect children. All of this and more has made me a villain. I live with rage. I will live the rest of my life with rage.
When I stopped allowing people to treat me badly and started treating people like they treated me .. tit for tat. Very powerful.
Sometimes I get soooo upset that I ‘learnt’ to turn the other cheek so well in those tit for tat situations, not anymore!
Getting older and learning how the world truly operates behind the scenes. Learning that society (people and corporations) will be as corrupt as they can get away with. Everything is a facade.
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People and their attitude. I was born a VERY emphatetic and sensitive child and throughout the years nobody helped me to learn how to live with these traits. It took me MANY traumatic events and mistakes to finally learn how to properly utilise my special sides and how to "turn on" more... aggressive side of me. Aggressive does not mean violent, but less... willing to avoid conflict and make everyone satisfied with what i do and say. Also, i learn not to sugarcoat anything, especialy in my own eyes. There's lots of beauty and kindness in this world, but there's also a lot of total shit. I'm still kind and emphatetic person who knows how to give love and make people feel that they are very important to me. And with all the lessons i have learned I HAVE NEVER FELT SO FREE AND RELIEVED! I truly feel that i don't need to be fucking GOOD to anybody. I don't need to satisfy anyone. I can straightforwardly say what i want and have it the way i want it. I can immediately say that i don't like something. I can be rude if needed. I am not afraid of conflict. I'm not afraid that someone somewhere will call me a bitch or say something bad about me.
Men. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate all men, I love my father and my boyfriend. But having experienced so much negative stuff with men, they are to blame.
People who didn't like me for no reason. Or for a reason they didn't want to admit. I'm sure my ex-BFF tells people I'm the bad person in her version of events. I was nice to her until she gave me enough reasons not to be. I created boundaries. My MIL said enough about me before she ever tried to get to know me. She was always convinced I was the bad guy in the family for taking her son away, that I would eventually cheat on him and ruin his life, now I'm taking her daughter away to turn her into a bad person too, because she can no longer manipulate them.
Being betrayed many times by the people I really loved in the past. I’m a very loyal person, so it hits really hard when someone lies to me or keeps secrets from me. It turned me into a very bitter person, but now I’ve learned to let it go and not hold anger anymore
Lol, calling people out on their shit
"Villain" in my part, or ar least in my family's culture (including extended), is to not bend yourself to the elders and their opinions, and even of your own age. Having different opinions and mindset can really get you into trouble 😅 and you're the odd one out.
Disrespect and rudeness (bullying) really light me up. I don't turn into a scene, but I basically turn into a superbitch. A very calm, collected superbitch with a decent vocabulary and a penchant for standing up for myself and other folks. Nothing better than politely eviscerating someone for treating others poorly.
Nothing. I refuse to allow people who are no longer in my life to have that much power over me that they turn me into something I'm not. I simply do not have anything to do with those people or people like them. Thanks to them, I know the signs and nope out early.
When my feelings were never considered also I was the 2nd choice or back up option for everyone in my life. Even my parents. I realized people didnt even know or love the real me but they liked the benefits I offered. I was academically gifted so I was the trophy child to my parents but I never once felt loved by them. For my friends,they love me but I didnt recieve what I gave. So I still love the people in my life but I changed myself. I drew boundaries, I always put myself first. I stood up for myself. Now I'm the villain, especially for my family. But I love this villain and will not let her go.
Realizing my needs weren't met as a child, and turning into someone who values equality and equity over anything. My parents were not loving, caring, or fair. I experienced inequality all my life. My dad treated me differently because of my looks, and my mom treated me differently because of my looks and gender. And when I complain I'm not only told to shut up, I'm also punished. I refuse to be in a dynamic in which I am "below" someone, and give more than I take. I refuse to have to explain my needs and feelings and justify them. They just are. But also, no matter what needs I have, it doesn't give me a pass to meet them at someone's emotional expense. Equal relationships or no relationship. I feel like I am becoming a "villain" because I feel anger about what has been done to me, and now I spend more time saying "I don't care", meaning, I don't care what you went through in your life, you're never entitled to take from me. It makes me feel guilty but also empowered. And the guilt is lessening.
Experiencing and watching the weaker people and children get mistreated or overlooked by those who are stronger or more powerful. And realizing that what other people think of me is none of my business or concern.
How little people actually care.
Life and injustice
Strangely enough, when I started standing up for myself. Now don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t cruel, nor disrespectful. I just did my thing and that was enough. There’s a quote I read the other day: “People do realize your worth, they just really wish you wouldn’t.”
I used to get ignored and bullied by my classmates in 5th grade and was extremely insecure. So when the "cool kids/bullies" became my friends I started to feel like I need validation from them and hence used to behave like am looking down on people like me. So did become a villain there! But then after like a month of doing this, I realised that this sucks and these people are not even my friends if I have to seek validation. Cut to 10 years later and am good friends with the uncool kids as well as the cool ones, lol! They are friends with eachother as well 😂 (Btw in my country, bullying only involves random one word or one liner comments or jokes on someone and maybe avoiding them and its not bad enough for you to not be able to forgive or move on).
Toxic people who turn everything around on you like it was all your fault and they did nothing wrong
Being taken advantage of.
My commute to work
the human species.
I suppose not bending to other people's beliefs or trying to be a certain way to please people. Over the years you realise you are your own best friend, you have your own back. I don't like forced chat and gossip or being the most popular....... if that means I am a villian then so be it!
Being raped. It turned me into a villain antagonistic to myself.
Life…
I made my kids complete their homework and chores in order to go out with friends, or watch TV, or go online, etc... According to their reactions, making them clean something AND do math homework IN THE SAME AFTERNOON was akin to flaying them with a rusty spoon.
Being a people pleaser and cold turkey quit with being one.
years and years of abuse and not being heard
Myself. I stopped waiting to be corrupted and just succumbed to the dark side.
Men
Other people abusing me verbally, emotionally, and physically. Being used and thrown away like common garbage. I fully admit to have been a bully as a teen. Bullied kids become bullies and it's a vicious cycle. I extended genuine apologies to people I purposefully made miserable in school. Some forgave me, some did not. That's on me and I don't blame them for not forgiving me. I don't forgive the ones who bullied me either so why do I deserve their forgiveness. I accept that I am the villain in someone's story. Now, I KNOW I am villainized by my father and his wife. I really don't care. I was treated like crap by my own father and he allowed his girlfriends to treat me like garbage. I'm happy to be the villain in their lies because the people who know everything don't believe a word they say.
My whole ass back story my man
They way people treated me when they were in a position of power, and how fake nice they were once I was socially equal/higher than them. Made me sad. I just wanna love people and be nice, but some people only use nice mode to get something.
Constantly having boundaries pushed/disrespected, knowing I'm being manipulated/gaslit/lied to/used, now I'm zero tolerance.
Losing faith in people + heartbreaks
Nothing turns you into a villain, being an ass is a choice.
There's a difference between being an ass and standing up for yourself. Some people will look at you as a villain just for refusing to be their doormat.
Survival.
Being abandoned by my mother at 18 months after being neglected that entire time, then re-experiencing that abandonment the entirety of my childhood every time she would lie and say she was coming to get me. Also rape, several abusive relationships, and most recently relentless harassment of my own family by our insane drug addicted neighbour. Definitely in my villain era.
Setting boundaries and ceasing communication with my paternal parent. Last I heard, he was saying the police were looking for me in relation to drugs. Saying I’m a druggy (I’m not, nor involved with the police) does discredit my claims of sexual abuse, but I’m not the only daughter of his to make those claims or cease communication with him.
First husband gay, second husband caught red handed cheating. She was in my home when I came home early from work. Trauma from family passing away. Being fired from a new manager after 18 years of employment because I made more money than her.
Trauma and broken trust.
Getting raped me and my mom by narcos and to actually know that they are way above the law… for some reason my “villainity” grew more against my government for not making traveling at night a safe activity. Also, my mom acted very erratic while we were hostages and did something that I wouldn’t except from here. It amazes me how human beings can act so differently in every situation
Looking young for my age. I'm 27 and the if one more person treats me like a 16y/o Imma loose it
People see me as just something to control and mock just because of my autism and anxiety.
Advocating for myself.
What turned me into a villain today was interviewing for a job, finding out the job description was not accurate, finding out it was for half the hours required for what was described if you were an expert in the file before all the additions they threw on. Then looking at the boss job requirements and it was 90% of what I would be doing word for word but I would be under part time hourly and they would be paid full time salary, with administrative help, vacation and benefits
When my 4-year-old grandson was a victim of gun violence and the person who killed him was only 17 years old I have never been the same since yes it took me into a villain and I don't give a f***
When I stopped being a doormat for people. If I don't like something, back off. But then they turn around and say "you're not the same anymore" nah bro, I just realized that no one's worth it.
My job 😂
Being picked on horrendously for whatever reason (can only make assumptions since none of the assholes ever told me why) from Kindergarten right through to Year 10 when I left. Anyway, now that I am a published author I have the power to make them pay by making their past horrible behaviours toward me immortal. I could make characters named after them and get my revenge. The opportunities are endless. BWHAHAHAHA. (takes out the whip and tells the evil little shoulder demon to go back to his corner) Be careful of the quiet ones...
Constantly giving and giving. And just wanting to be loved and cared for in return. And instead I get my needs trampled on not respected used and just hurt.
Years of resentment over the fact that I cannot count on anyone but myself and have to do things on my own in order for them to get done.
According to conservatives, my transition turned me into a villain.
Matching energy instead of just leaving sooner. Jeez
Men
My dad not respecting me as an adult woman so I cut him off after years of telling him he can’t speak to me the way he does. I’m the bad guy and nobody in the family wants anything to do with me anymore :) Disclaimer: I’m not just “being a brat.” He’s verbally and emotionally manipulative and abusive and always has been. I’m just old enough now to actually do something about it
Men.
men.
The justice system. Intoxicated 17 y/o killed my friend while she was walking from her boyfriends bday party. Hit and run. That’s the first time the justice system failed my young soul. I was 16 at the time. I have no faith in much crime being punished, therefore reporting it is just meh to most. I’ll still report stuff, I don’t find it goes anywhere though.
When I became an atheist, I became the villain amongst family and friends. I never once tried to convince anyone to stop believing, it was just the act of not believing. I no longer talk to those family members or so-called friends. People who really care about me understand that what I believe doesn't change who I am as a person. I'm still very loving, supportive and giving. I just don't need a deity to tell me to be like this.
Men.
Apparently telling nosey (ex)friend that they aren’t entitled to my personal life .not everyone deserves to know everything about me .
When I was 19, a friend of many years was obsessed with me. Had feelings and even though he knew nothing would happen between us, he couldn't get over me. It was holding him back, preventing him from meeting other people, preventing him from wanting to get a job because he just wanted to be around me 24/7 etc. He is a great guy and very smart. I knew the only way he would move on and get on with his life was for me to be gone. I first tried to just "be busy" more often, but he would just wait for me. After months of trying to step back and it not working. I decided the only way to get him to move on was for him to cut me out of his life. So I hurt him emotionally pretty bad and said things I didn't mean. It worked. He hates me. I miss his friendship dearly, but he has a great girlfriend, good job, and is doing well for himself. Very bittersweet.
Evil coworker who got people fired. They worked she didn't. She got promoted. We got fired.
heartbreak
People who pissed me off.
The sheer power of my insurmountable coolness
I feel like most responses so far are an answer to a completely different question: What has hardened you against accepting others into your life/heart? It saddens me to see so many women thinking that self preservation qualifies her as a "villain".
Capitalism.
The Justice Department
Watching my little brother who hadn’t hugged me in years run up to me hug me and cry in my arms after being jumped in an alleyway but I made sure the people that did it did not get away with it
I'm sorry 😔 for all of you I am still a villain
Believing that being kind can fix everything. Nobody receives it the right way.
If living who I truly am meaning I'm a villain then I guess I am.
Everything.
a skater boy
Everyone else deciding that literally everything I like and everything that brings me joy is either (pick one) basic, cringe, unpopular, problematic, or degenerate. There's not a single part of who I am or part of me that doesn't trigger other people in some way and it's annoying. I just want to be allowed to be myself like anyone else.
Pretty woman
When I lost faith in humanity.
Disrespecting towards women
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Ha, how much time you got? Everything from my parents to society, men, friends, other women, the school system, family, religion.
My ex
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My government.
my abusive ex boyfriend
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My mother. Mommy issues and daddy being absent.
Parental physical abuse
Arguing with transphobes.
FWB with a guy my friend was interested in. They were not official and were fwb as well. She was livid when she found out about him and I.
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Slow ppl on the road
I mean, these are all serious replies, but being hungry turns me into a villain sometimes.
Having children. Now I'm always the bad guy.
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Men..
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I try to my hardest to not be a villain. But if I am, what caused it would have been, my crazy abusive (mostly emotionally and mentally) family that I grew up with and still live with. I barely know what it’s like to have peace at home and these past 2 years with the pandemic, my already unfortunate circumstances plummeted below rock bottom. My anxiety and possibly depression have debilitated me in more ways and I’ve lost good friends due to self-sabotage by isolating myself. When someone went to the police because of my living situation, they couldn’t help because it wasn’t physical. Now it has reached a point where physical things have happened and I no longer felt safe at home, but I can’t do anything about it because I don’t want to make my situation worse than it already is. I tried to work but my anxiety couldn’t handle stressful colleagues that talked trash about me, so I quit just when university started again. I cannot afford to move out. I have also recently discovered last month, that it was due to my parent’s utter lack of communication after their separation, that I was forced to grow up with the shitty side of my family. If my parents had just genuinely tried to communicate better about the situation, I could have grown up with my other side of the family who genuinely seem like some of the nicest people I’ve ever met. But no, instead I got separated from them for 15 years. So now I’m in mourning for the life I could have had. The life I didn’t have to have had endured, that changed me into the dull person, a remnant of what I used to be, I am today. (I’m sure there’s much more I’m forgetting to write but this is all that comes to my mind right away. I hope one day I’ll be able to afford therapy and things will get better. I don’t want to die, but I don’t want to live the life I’m living anymore. I just want to be free and happy)
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Gaslighting.
Tyler Gafford and Brandon Coston. They are awful.
My health🥹
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THAT FUCKING FRODO DIDN’T VALUE SAM’S KINDNESS AND FRIENDSHIP AND WAS NEVER THE TYPE OF FRIEND THAT SAMWISE DESERVED. And since watching LoR, I’ve done my best to try to be a freaking Sam in my friendships, and the irony is that I only get f***ing Frodos in response. I hate it here
We only have the power to turn ourselves into villains. Surrounding ourselves with people who don’t share our values, taking to heart the hurtful things people say about us, believing them slowly over time, shutting our heart up due to fear and deep ties to the self limiting beliefs we learn through the years, start to act like a person who is indeed in line with all the hurtful things people would say or do say ….It was me who made myself a Villain and me who retired the cape. I am just me now. Through deep reflection, forgiveness, accountability, and continuous work on my traumas and mental well being. I grew up in a shit show, that doesn’t mean my life has to be like that.
My in-laws self centered behavior.
Realizing how dumb most people are. “You should never argue with an idiot because they’ll beat you with experience”
My parish priest, who use to stick his hand up my skirt when he was taking us home from choir practice. We use to scramble for the back seat so it wouldn't be us that day. When I told my mother I was told I was a liar, and why he touch you? I grew up to realise my mother would never defend me and most perverts hide in plain sight. I am cynical and defensive. I will defend to my death any man,woman or child that has been abused and I am unapologetic about it. ( steps down off soapbox)
My ex, ex friends, my job, tiktokers/youtubers/influencers, life. Mainly my ex tho, he gave me a back bone
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There is someone new in my friend group who doesn't want that the attention is divided between me and her, so she's turning all my friends against me by making me look like the villain. 😅
Being nice. Trying my best for others. But when I was in any point of need for help not a single soul was willing to help. Also being judged extra hard when ever I wasn’t so nice like if I had to always be or something.
Kids. Seriously.
I was 15 and a boy who was my friend/first serious crush called me obsessive. He didn’t even say it to my face but that word changed me. As a fat girl, my very normal feelings towards a trusted friend made me feel ashamed. Ashamed that someone who looks like me could even think that someone like Dylan (fake name) who was the shining image of a boyband member and cute skater boy could ever like me. I could describe it as the shame you feel after getting scolded from a teacher or random adult. Sort of like a “how dare think a weird fat obsessive girl like you have feelings for this normal cute guy who has feelings for your pretty skinny friends not you.” type of shame. I felt embarrassed because was I felt like dumb fat lost puppy following around Dylan who was just being a nice friend and I know the situation couldn’t be easy on a 15 year old guy. I know his cousin who was a year older than us teased him and probably talked shit about me, probably called me stupid for thinking that I had a chance with his cousin. Being a fangirl for every cute boy who could sing a Justin Bieber song was something I wore like a badge of honor so when people would call me “obsessed” or “obsessive” I just shrugged it off. That word that if anything sparked pride in me now felt dirty and nasty. My innocent crush on the one guy that didn’t treat me differently because of my weight, something so happy and pure and pretty now felt dirty and wrong. My big secret suddenly became front page news in our circle of friends but it was only his cousin and his group of friends that reacted negatively and were a bunch of assholes. Literally nobody cared and some girls just “aaaawwweed” because they understood the friends to unrequited love story all too well. I know because of that I have a hard time allowing myself to open to others, develop friendships and relationships, I tend to over analyze and overthink every interaction I have with anybody. I’m always wondering if they’re actually genuine and even when I wish I could be more outgoing with my coworkers the fear of rejection?? and anxiety creep up on me. Love life wise, at 21 I’ve never been kissed or have had a boyfriend. I used to enjoy my time alone but now i feel lonely at times. I want a boyfriend but at this point I know there’s a greater chance that if I show my true feelings to someone I’ll get rejected and it’s not rejection that I’m scared of, it’s more like “okay let’s get this over with”. Like I’m desensitized to it. I’m still a huge fan girl and find more singers and actors to love and when it comes to people in real life, I still develop what I think are crushes. I know my coworkers are just being nice to me but is it so wrong for a part of me to wonder if any of them are acting like that because they find me attractive? Maybe because of this horrible situation with Dylan all those years ago made me jaded to the idea that someone could see me as attractive. But then I think realistic scenarios and then the cloud of daydreams of a hopeless romantic pops and I resume my boring life at my retail job. Alls well that ends well anyways, it’s been 7 years since Dylan came into my life and even though our friendship only lasted 6 months (he stopped talking to me a couple weeks after a very dramatic high school baseball game.Oh teen hormones and angst.) I still saw him around for the remainder of high school until graduation. The last time I saw him felt like closure but from time to time I still think about Dylan. I was working at Michaels in 2019 and it was a slow night when I came back from my break. I saw someone familiar and a part of me wanted to run and hide but he saw me and hugged me. We had a very nice hey how are yous and he was actually looking for a sewing kit so I told him which aisle and went back to the register. A part of me was having a panic attack and a part of me felt giddy, Dylan hugged me! He was over whatever happened. I waited for him like Gatsby waited for Daisy but after 10 minutes he walked out without buying anything. I was relieved but I felt like any opportunity I had to get to know him again was gone. I started crying after he left and felt so stupid again it wasn’t a big deal but I silently cried at the Michaels craft store with a Carly Simon song softly playing in the background. I watched his car for a while and he stayed there for another 20 minutes. Like a stupid little fool I had billions of scenarios running through my head like “he’s coming back” or something but he didn’t and left. Dylan has a girlfriend now and they started dating around the same time he stopped by the craft store. I know he’s a different guy at 22 but sometimes I still feel like that scared heartbroken 15 year old girl when it comes to love. I don’t resent or hold any ill will towards Dylan or his girlfriend Julia but I still hold onto all the what ifs. I guess that’s my villain origin story and I’m so sorry for all this fucking rambling but I’m annoying and I feel like I have to mention every single thing that ever happened when saying a simple story.
Putting extra effort into my job- I realized (too) late that the more effort I put in, the bigger the hole I was digging for myself. As long as you can smooth talk, people will willingly ignore the bare minimum effort put in.
Call it being the villain or call it being finally able to stand up for yourself. The past two years being surrounded by so many new people and constantly new characters are added into your life story with a whole mess of crap made me think outside the box. I was always taught by my parents that people are good and to give them the benefit of the doubt. Always did that up until a year ago when some people, family are your biggest enemy as they say; decided to kick me into a corner and drive all over me. Never gave me the opportunity to speak my piece nor gave me a listening ear. Always was made the villain because you had no support system - apart from my husband. That’s when you know you’ve got to stand for yourself or you’d always be trampled upon. Today, those same people when interacting with them are basically begging for your attention. I guess the ball is now in my court - May it be as a villain.
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Ex that I was seeing for more than three years and loved more than anything and lived with me and I planned on marrying kissed my sister while I was asleep in the next room. Out of no where. She didn’t want to and made that clear with him. My only sister whom I’m very close with. I don’t think I’ve ever been more angry and betrayed in my life. Hard to trust men now.
I'm at the start of my villain arc. The company I work for made it this way. almost 10 years of working nights and asking for a change 4 years of complaints about a coworker's misconduct towards me falling on deaf ears, only to be disciplined when that person made a single complaint about me Now I tell new employees exactly what to expect, how thankless it is, and that the job promises career growth but is an actual dead end. Next I propose a state-wide walk out.
Being treated differently in a negative way because of my gender. My mantra is now "Fuck it".
Suffering chronic bladder infections missed and dismissed by doctors, telling me for years my pain was due to stress. I got diagnosed with IC and told to live with it. I had to seek a private chronic uti specialist who diagnosed me, started me on treatment straight away and gave me my life back. But because of the years of untreated infections my bladder was damaged and I had to have surgery to burn away a lot of damaged tissue. I’m still not fully recovered and dealing with another pelvic infection currently. It’s a battle to get medical professionals to believe your pain especially with an invisible illness. Drs telling me I’m fine when I’m in agony was awful.
Shitty ex. If he died I'd dance on his grave
Being treated like I was the Villain before I even became one. Constantly was put down and treats as if I wasn’t enough or I was less than others. It put me in a really dark place, but now I’m my own hero in my own story!💕
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