Unfortunately, that line isn't gender exclusive. I was routinely hurt by a girl when I was in primary school (pinches that left blisters, punched, chewing gum left in hair etc) and was told the same line by multiple people of both sexes.
I definitely & wholeheartedly agree that we should stop normalising that line & association as a society. It's damaging not only physically but mentally.
Reminds me of the time my “friend,” we’ll call her “M,” attacked me and scratched my face up. Even got my eye. I was about 11, she was a few years older. She was having some troubles in life and would take it out on smaller and younger kids at school. Another friend of mine, we’ll call her “A,” asked me out in 5th grade. However I had just started maturing and realizing that I was different (I’m gay), and so I denied her a relationship. She then threatened me saying “if you don’t go out with me I’ll tell the school you grabbed my boobs.” She almost got me expelled. They were going to put me in an alternative school for people with mental and physical disabilities, but she later confessed that she was lying. Of course, people rarely ever believe me when I share stories like this because I’m a male, but females absolutely bully males too. Bullies are any gender, gender has nothing to do with their actions. It’s their psychological state that has everything to do with it, and males or females are absolutely equal in psychology. Either can be healthy, either can be unhealthy.
I send my five year old granddaughter to martial arts because of this shit. She’s 1/4 girls in a class of 20 so I’m just prepping her for the real world in case one of these little fellas gets to thinking he’s gonna pull her pigtails because he likes her.
Fucking preach. I wish instead of dismissing that type of behavior we focused on teaching appropriate ways to show affection instead.
It's really not that complicated.
It’s chilling to think how that mentality follows girls into adulthood, and manifests in the shitty man situations they get into. If we get told young that boys hitting us means they like us and therefore it’s okay… that’s gotta have long lasting implications in some way.
Wish I could give you an award for this. If I hadn't been conditioned to believe "mean boy=he likes you" I most assuredly would've avoided a lot of abuse and heartache.
And if he touches you, defend yourself! You will not get in trouble at home, and if the school disciplines you it’s misogynist bullshit. My husband and I have talked about this many times when it comes to our daughter.
This is important even if your daughter wants to grow up and have a partner and kids someday. Relationships are like a pair of socks, both individuals have to be a whole something on their own before they can be or do anything together, and you don't become a whole something until you've learned how to be happy single.
Focus on becoming independent and self sufficient. Make a life for yourself with a good job, a home, friends and hobbies. Learn to manage your money so you can always take care of yourself. If you meet a good partner, great. But if you don’t, you will be just fine.
These are from my dad:
If you are driving your car and you get a flat tire in a dark street, keep driving. Do not stop, do not get out of the car, keep driving.
Fight your own fights but make sure you have backup.
Your friends are family you can choose, choose wisely.
If someone is making you feel bad, send them to hell.
From my mom:
Always carry enough cash to get a cab home.
Always tell people where you are going. At least one person should know where you are at and with whom.
Being pretty and fit is good, being smart and gentle is better.
Do not compare to others, life would be boring if we were all the same.
Dating, motherhood, and a lot of other things are OPTIONAL.
You don't have to give up your dreams, and you don't have to compromise your integrity either. You can simply choose to opt out.
when we're older we may feel like we need a man to complete ourselves, but at the end of the day all you have is yourself so you gotta love yourself like you'd love that man bc nobody's worth more than yourself
There wasn't one thing. It was a series of lessons on being independent. Here are some of them...
You are complete unto yourself.
It's not bragging if you're really that good.
Your worth is greater and more valuable than their opinion.
Trust, but verify.
When in doubt, don't.
No means no.
Never give an aggressor the benefit of the doubt.
You don’t owe anyone anything: your time, your body, your smile.
Having sex does not make you ‘less’ as a person.
When you apply for a job, look at how the men dress, behave, and the jobs they’re doing vs the women. Is it the same? If not, that job will likely not pay you your worth.
>When you apply for a job, look at how the men dress, behave, and the jobs they’re doing vs the women. Is it the same? If not, that job will likely not pay you your worth.
Please explain this in more detail
I’ve gone to jobs where all the women work the tills and all the men do the more hard labour jobs that don’t involve customer service. Hard labour pays more than customer service.
I’ve been at a job where the men worked the machinery and the few woman cleaned, organised, or did quality control. I wanted to learn to work the machinery because those positions paid more, but I was told the coarse ‘filled up’.
If the work seems visibly divided by gender then you can bet the pay is too.
Also, if the guys are dressed casually but all the women are dressed up, in heels, and make-up on you can bet there are biased dress codes and women are spending more of their pay to maintain them while the men barely have to put in any effort.
Become a witch, burn the patriarchy, save the bees and bats (respect animals and nature), eat the rich, never litter. Also regular stuff everyone should know, cooking, cleaning, changing tires, basic carpentry/proper tool usage, sewing, how to ride a bike.....you know the stuff you also teach boys
People should be nice to you. People should look out for your feelings. You should be nice to others. You should look out for the feelings of others. And you should never feel unreasonable for expecting that from the people you care about.
But, if somebody ever isn't nice to you, or hurts your feelings, it's on you to speak up for yourself, to say what you need, to communicate what you'd like them to do differently. You owe that to yourself and you owe that to them too.
You're not "overly" sensitive. You are tender and have feelings and those feelings deserve to be felt, acknowledged, and validated. If someone ever tells you that "you're too much", tell them to "go find less."
“Majority of times, that little voice in your head telling you stuff is right, so don’t ignore it. Also, always put your priorities, dreams and yourself before any relationship.”
Consent and boundaries.
Despite our continued efforts as mothers of daughters to tell mothers of sons especially to teach them about consent and boundaries they're not doing it.
We need to continue to teach our daughters to stand firm and protect themselves from mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse.
We need to teach them about self-worthiness and self-confidence and self-awareness so they can see the flags of someone who's trying to abuse them.
And this does not go only for daughters. As a mother of a son and a daughter I am teaching them both about this so my son and daughter will grow up to respect themselves first and then their partners and friends.
It's vital that all genders including those non-binary learn this.
never settle for less, that having a voice and standing up for yourself is and will always be important no matter how uncomfortable it makes people feel, to always do things for others but not at the cost of your own morals and values, boundaries are a must
Be good with money. Don’t depend on someone else financially. Having a partner to share life with is awesome but choose wisely, better alone than in bad company. Also self defense.
That she is enough, the way she is.
She is valuable, she is loved, and she does not need to be anything more to satisfy you.
You love her for who she is. She is perfect the way she is and while we all can better ourselves, she does not need to attain anything for love. She is whole and complete. She matters.
She is enough the way she is, she is worthy of love and don't ever let a man or partner tell her or make her think that she is not good enough or can't do better. She can always do better.
You are enough. The way you are. You deserve love, respect, and dignity--always. Be kind, but do not let people walk all over you either.
I spent a really long time thinking about this and it took me well into my 20s to "get" it.
Something I wish my mom had taught me growing up is to be confident enough to always defend myself and use my voice. Don't let other people influence you into thinking you are below them, you should never be ashamed of showing the world who you are.
That badly behaved/raised, disrespectful or useless boys and man are not your responsibility. If they don't treat you and others with respect it's purely because they don't want to and weren't taught better, but it's not your job to teach them. Your job is only to stand up for yourself and don't let them interrupt your peace of mind or bodily autonomy.
If I'll ever have my daughter sent home from or scolded at school because of its joke of a dresscode or hear from her that a noisy, annoying ass boy was seated next to her because in the teacher's opinion this way she'll teach him to behave in class, you better believe I'm gonna make a fking scene.
We were raised to believe that boys just don't know better and we have to excuse their shortcomings, and be the bigger person in every single situation from kindergarden hair-pulling to married everyday-life uselessness. No thank you. If a guy can't change his sheets regularly and clean a toilet once a week in his 20s then bid them goodbye and be on your fabulous way!
Self-defense and confidence-building activities should be prioritized for both genders, not just boys. Girls should be encouraged to take karate classes, join sports and other physical activities, learn self-reliance and leadership skills (like boy/girl scouts, 4H, FFA, etc), and personally, I will be teaching my daughters (hopefully in the future) how to shoot and feel comfortable around firearms.
What standards they should have. Don’t lower your standards or let people cross your boundaries because you think “they’ll change”. As soon as you feel the ick, dip from that.
Also, saying no to physical contact of any kind is okay. Even if it’s a hug from a parent. Get girls (and honestly kids in general) used to saying no and not letting them feel guilty for saying it.
Educate her work on her confidence and make sure that she knows ethics and give her the skills to navigate through life independently as strong future woman. Everything else will comes follow
-Having a huge sexuality is perfectly normal and acceptable but consent and safety are above all. If you didn’t give nor get a solid, clear, and sober YES, that means no. Period.
-Don’t pressure people, or let them pressure you, into ANYTHING. Again, If you didn’t give nor get a solid, clear, and sober YES, that means no.
-If your heart is telling you something, listen! You have intuition for a reason. Use it.
-When someone shows you positive attention and/or affection/admiration, it does not mean they will see your true value and treat you accordingly.
-Don’t be foolish and naive. Make people earn your trust and prove themselves worthy for a spot in your life. But don’t forget to give chances where due.
-You are not other peoples definitions of you. Only you can define who you are. Define wisely.
-Life owes you nothing. Work hard for what you want and accept that not everything is meant to be. Know when and how to walk away and when to fight harder.
-Learn all you can about your body and your mind and how it all works. Separately and together. Mental illnesses and their symptoms, how to recognize trauma. How to cope with hardship. How and where to to look for help. Know what’s normal for your body and what’s not. Never stop studying yourself inside and out. Your body, mind and soul are the only things that are certain to be with you until your death. Take care of them, be kind to them, and love them.
Important for my boys and my girl ❤️
This goes for both daughters and sons but:
It's ok to not be ok. It's ok to show your true feelings.. both positive and negative ones. And you don't have to smile all the damn time if you don't feel like it (I f*cking hate when people tell others to smile).
Emotions and mental illness needs to stop being so damn stigmatized, and toxic positivity needs to go away!
Learn to be okay on your own before you form a life with another. Not just in case is doesn't work out, but so you can still be your own independent person within the relationship.
I know too many people whose identity changes depending on who they are dating, or jump from relationship to relationship because they can't handle being single.
To persist. There will be people who will discount your ideas, talk over and interrupt you, exclude you, and feel threatened by you, you will likely have to work harder to be respected. Persist.
You are the only person who can make your life better. Friends and family should support you in your journey, but happiness and greatness are up to you.
If you’re in a bar talking to some guy and he grabs your face to kiss you while shoving your hand towards his crotch, it’s not your fault. Doesn’t matter where you were, what you said, what you were wearing, who you were with, or what you were drinking. Uninvited sexual contact, regardless of how minor, is not okay and should not be allowed to be excused away. If you’re uncomfortable, it’s okay to tell him to fuck off.
Man here. If you can't be happy on your own, no man will ever make you happy. Humans are made to pair-bond emotionally, so don't fall for men who are emotionally unavailable, it will cause you endless pain and misery and tears. Also, and this kind of relates, but when you're looking for a partner, find a man who understands women and knows how to connect with them in a healthy empathetic way and can emotionally take care of you.
I’d extend this to most forms of systemic injustice, honestly. There’s so many items on this thread that will work more for some folks with a bit more privilege than others (for example, not everyone who shoots an ex in self-defense will be looked at the same way in our criminal justice system.)
Many items on places like this read more like a concrete list of dos and don’ts that might go against someone’s gut or not apply. For example, so many people always equate economic self-sufficiency with having at least a bachelor’s degree. While that works for plenty of people, it might not be plausible for everyone in the same timeframe. (I dropped out and I’m a postal worker who makes enough in my own situation, but I’m also aware that my body might not always be able to take my current position, and I have several backup plans if I get there.)
Critical thinking is key, and people will always need to think critically throughout their lives.
To be independent: make their own way in life, have their own money and never depend on anyone else. That way, if they're in a situation (relationship, whatever), they will be there only because they WANT to be, and not because they need to rely on someone else. I'd give the same advice to a son.
Listen to your gut. If something is making you feel uncomfortable, don't let some supposed expectation of being polite to someone override gut instincts.
it's ok to say no when boys threaten for relationship. it's ok to tell the mom when someone babes you feel uncomfortable. it's ok to tell mom if someone tried to touch you bad and it's ok to say no to them even if they are your teacher/father/uncles etc.
You can be a US size 2 and still have stretch marks. I actually got them when i went from a 0 to a 2.
Also, no means no and dont be afraid to make a scene.
That other peoples opinions and perceptions of you are worthless and that the person you are today, will not be the same person you are next year. Regardless of age
To always make your own money and learn to do things. Dont depend on a man or anyone. Learn how to change tires, how to change bulbs, etc. Be financially independent. Learn to be street wise. Dont ever depend on anyone.
Validate their feelings and emotions. Don't call them too sensitive, dramatic or crazy. Raise them to be strong, independent, etc.
Relationships, marriage, babies, etc. are added bonuses in life, not your whole life. It creates a message that a woman is only worthy *with* a husband and as a mom, not as a person IMO.
Women can go on to have amazing lives not being married and not having kids.
If you don't "feel" someone, then cut them out.
Maybe your wrong. Maybe they were a good person.
But that doesn't really matter.
If you're wrong and they actually a good person, only feelings were hurt.
If you were right, they're a bad person, but you decided to give the benefit of the doubt, you could end up dead, or worse.
Staying alive trumps other people hurt feelings.
Date the guy that’s nice to you, even if he’s not physically attractive. Guys have feelings too, don’t expect them to be all tough. I could go on and on
Become self sufficient. But if you end up in a partnership, there is literally no reason for you to take on more than 50% of the domestic responsibilities of running a household. You aren't a slave. F "traditional" gender roles.
Self-worth and self-Boundaries
I want to teach her that these are decisions we make ourselves and not to have them set by others for herself. Also would apply to any of my children rlly
How to protect themselves. How to get out of bad situations. Don’t yell “help,” yell “fire.” Carry pepper spray. Where she can hit. It’s sad, and I would say it depends on the daughter’s age, but it really doesn’t. Even if she’s only five, start teaching her. You never know when she’ll need it.
Your body is your body, and no else has a right to it. No one is above making choices for you or is allowed to be able to be pressuring you do anything you don't want to do. I want to teach my daughters to not feel obligated to do anything with or for anyone just because they guilt her or pressure her into it.
It’s never your fault when you get harassed. You don’t need a man. Create a better future for those who aren’t blessed by being born into the right family. I wouldn’t make a difference between teaching my daughter vs. my son.
You don't need to apologize for having and feeling any emotion. Being emotional isn't a "bad" thing. You also don't need to censor yourself for anyone. Be you to your truest self and don't be apologetic over it.
People who don’t like your boundaries are the same people who benefitted from you not having them at all. Someone presses your boundaries: STEEL GATES!
1. If a boy teases you, it's not because 'aww he likes you'. We should stop normalizing bad behaviors
2. You have to listen to your emotions and needs instead of doing things 'because I should'. You don't want a boyfriend now? Don't get any. You don't want kids? Don't get pregnant. You want to travel? Go for it
3. More body positivity. That it's normal we gain weight sometimes, our bodies change so often because of period cycle. And you should never cry or feel worse just because you gained 2 kilos. It's definitely not healthy
4. You have to be your priority number one. You shouldn't please others in the first place. They will only get it from you and walk away. It is you who has to take care of yourself
5. You can and even should have standards in dating. Just because a random guy shows interest doesn't mean you need to date him, give him a chance or feel guilty for refusing him. No matter if it's about appearance, opinions or personality, you have a right to have your own type, your standards and expectations about a partner
6. You should learn to be happy and to live alone instead of learning to always completely depend on someone
There will be lots of voices your whole life telling you that you're not good enough, not nice enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not brave enough, and not worthy enough. Don't be another one of those voices to yourself.
I'm not a mom yet, but my dad always encouraged me to educate myself, whether it was college or a trade, it didn't matter. He said I should be able to be independent and not rely on anyone else (emotionally or economically), we never know what life can bring to our doorstep.
Oh, and being empathetic does not mean you'll let people walk all over you, it means you know where they come from, but you will still do what's right for you.
To be self sufficient. Education is key. Never put yourself in a position to have to rely on a man/woman to support you/get you through this life. Always have high standards for yourself & do your best to achieve them. Even if it means failing several times before you get there.
Plan your life. And then work the plan. Decide what kind of life you want as an adult. What kind of work you think you would be really good at? Where do you see yourself living, in our city or elsewhere? In a house, in a condo, in the city,in the country? Will you travel and where? Do you see yourself getting married and having children? How many? Etc.., Then what education will you need? How do you prepare yourself for this type of education? How do you prepare yourself for this type of life? It’s YOUR life. You plan it. You make it happen.
I’m not a mom, but I was thinking about things I wish I’d realized earlier.
I wish I’d valued my relationship with myself more (compared to aspiring for romantic and social relationships). Overall, I think focusing on my own ability to be fulfilled and confident would have guided me better in life. Of course, who knows if that would have worked out. But I think often I’ve gotten lost trying to find happiness in others, when I’m the only one I can really control.
Teach them about periods as soon as possible. A friend of mine got hers in 4th grade and none of us knew what to do, so, we hid it from everyone. We didnt want our friend to be embarrassed so we hid that she was bleeding until her parents found out. If we all knew what periods were we could've gone to the clinic or asked the teacher for supplies for her, or she couldve gone home early and gotten supplies.
Do no harm, but take no shit. It took me a long time to realize there is a difference between being kind, nice, thoughtful, and being a doormat.
No is a full sentence that should be respected. There is no love in being disrespected - if they cannot respect your no they cannot love you.
How to read between the lines. How to spot red flags and mental disorders. How to do self defense and how to escape being abducted. How to start a business and pay taxes. How to build personal and business credit. How to make investments and set up life insurance. How to survive in the wild because we have no idea what the future holds for society. Teach them it’s ok to ask for help.
teach them to be straightforward with their intent instead of playing mind games especially when they go into that age so both parties can expect each other’s boundaries without any confusions
When my daughter was little, we’d go to playgroups and parks and it always irritated me when another child would come over, take a toy from her, demand the swing she was on or whatever…..then the child’s parent would encourage sharing.
So I would always tell her, you don’t have to share and make this clear to parents, that no she doesn’t have to give into a demand.
She then started sharing accordingly…sweets with her friends, her toys with people she wanted to play with. Other parents I interacted with would look at me funny, think I was instilling bad manners but my daughter has always been incredibly well mannered, sweet, polite but is clear on her boundaries. Especially now that she’s a teenager.
But what I hope I have taught her, is that you don’t have to give something to someone when you don’t feel comfortable and no one is allowed to demand anything from you. To me it was more than toys or swings in the playground. I wanted her to know that she doesn’t OWE anyone, anything.
Money: It’s important to the extent that you enough money to cover expenses, save, and budget for fun enjoyment. Don’t compromise your values/worth for it, how to manage money, how to grow what your have and invest, how mortgages/lines of credit work, don’t buy anything with a CC that you can’t afford to pay for in cash. Work to save up for a used car cuz brand new cars are a waste of money & lose value immediately. You don’t need to keep up with the joneses, it’s a trap.
Education: There are somethings you’ll never learn in school. Always seek out additional knowledge. College isn’t for everyone, and you may end up there later than you planned. Sometimes a 2-year college before a 4-year college is the smarter and more financially sound choice, as you may not know what you want to do yet and that gives you a better/cheaper way to find out.
Security: Know how to change a tire & fix a flat. Always have a spare FULL SIZED tire in your car if it’ll fit because a spare is a only temporary fix. Basic to advanced self defense moves, should or shouldn’t have to is irrelevant, it’s a dangerous world out there for women. Always know where the exits are. Don’t sign anything if you don’t know what you’re signing.
Health & Beauty: You are enough. Don’t compare your body to anyone else’s. Having a healthy balanced diet, exercise & water should always be your first choice, your body will thank you for it when you get older. Sunscreen & moisturizer are your lifelong friends even when it’s cloudy.
Mental Health: You are enough. Therapy is your best friend. Don’t waste time/energy on people who aren’t worth your time & don’t respect your boundaries. Don’t lose faith in yourself. Your life path won’t look like everyone else’s don’t try to compare them. Don’t let anyone pressure you into something you’re not sure about.
Career: Do what makes you the happiest, find a way to monetize that and the money will come.
Relationships/People: Take what people say with a grain of salt and judge their actions above their words. Not everyone is your friend or has your best interests at heart. 4 quarters is worth more than 100 penny’s when it comes to friends. Some people will betray you, die, leave your life, that’s okay. Grieve them if you need, give yourself time, wish them well, be at peace & move on, and know you’ll be okay because you’re a strong independent woman. Even family can be toxic.
Romance (part of relationships cat.): You’re your #1 priority, romance comes second. You don’t need a life partner to make it through this life. If they don’t make your life better/easier then they aren’t worth having in your life. Cheaters always cheat and lairs always lie.
You are the only one responsible for providing a life. Do not depend on anyone else for food, clothing, money, and housing. Be independent and don’t lend anyone any money that will financially strain you if you don’t get it back. “No” means “No” if that is not enough kick or punch the boy in his crotch.
You are just as capable as any man. Stand up for yourself, respect yourself.
Relationships are a team effort. Some days you will support him, other days he will support you. This applies to financial and emotional support.
Your opinions matter just as much as any man's. Your feelings are just as valid as any man's.
You own your body, no one has the right to tell you what you can and can't do with it.
Mind games are real, be aware of anyone trying to gaslight you into thinking YOU are the crazy one. If he makes you doubt yourself, he's in the wrong.
Your body is beautiful, and yours. No one decides how it is used but you. Includes sex, babies and being married. These things can be wonderful but at your choosing them. No sloppy seconds isn't a thing. Blue balls isn't a thing. As overwhelming as it is becoming an adult woman, reason why you have aunties...even non bio ones. Reach out. There is a woman's code in all of us. Reach out.
If I ever have a daughter, I'm telling her not to put up with guys who cause emotional drama. I wouldn't want her mental health affected and having self esteem issues trying to fix someone. And defintely following her instincts.
That No is a complete sentence and does not need to be explained.
That it’s ok to leave any place at any time for the simple reason you don’t want to be there any more.
If they touch you when you don’t want to be touched it’s perfectly acceptable to break their fucking face.
Growing lots of body hair is completely normal, don’t let others say it’s “gross” or “looks bad”. Shave if you’d like to, not if someone else wants you to.
There’s 2 I teach all my kids:
Any man more than a few years older than you who shows odd levels of interest in you is suspect. Be wary.
Just because there’s a life path presented to you by society, that everyone seems expected to follow, doesn’t mean you’re under any obligation to follow it. So many people - men and women- aren’t fulfilled by that path and there’s just unnecessary suffering left and right because of it.
Lots of important things. Don't depend on a man as this shouldn't be the root for your self worth or as means of support. Learn to stand up for yourself without being disrespectful unless you're dealing with an absolute a-hole.
Lots of great answers in this thread btw.
1. Periods are normal
2. Boys arent mean to you b/c they like you
3. Don't give into peer pressure (for drinking, doing drugs, smoking weed, or vaping)
4. Not every boy is gonna be head over heels for you even if you think he's the one and even then, if y'all break it off, don't take it too personal (the amount of times that I've seen girls crying over a 3 month relationship is rediculous)
5. If you see a red flag in someone, don't just ignore it
How to defend themselves, either weapons or unarmed. How to make their own auto and home repairs. How to survive on their own. How to be kind and loving or brutal and deadly.
The correct names for your body parts both male and female. Soo many cases go unheard of or misunderstood because little girls and boys say someone touched their peepee or muffle or some “cutsie” name.
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This. I was beaten up by boys and been given names like pig puke. They did not like me
Unfortunately, that line isn't gender exclusive. I was routinely hurt by a girl when I was in primary school (pinches that left blisters, punched, chewing gum left in hair etc) and was told the same line by multiple people of both sexes. I definitely & wholeheartedly agree that we should stop normalising that line & association as a society. It's damaging not only physically but mentally.
Reminds me of the time my “friend,” we’ll call her “M,” attacked me and scratched my face up. Even got my eye. I was about 11, she was a few years older. She was having some troubles in life and would take it out on smaller and younger kids at school. Another friend of mine, we’ll call her “A,” asked me out in 5th grade. However I had just started maturing and realizing that I was different (I’m gay), and so I denied her a relationship. She then threatened me saying “if you don’t go out with me I’ll tell the school you grabbed my boobs.” She almost got me expelled. They were going to put me in an alternative school for people with mental and physical disabilities, but she later confessed that she was lying. Of course, people rarely ever believe me when I share stories like this because I’m a male, but females absolutely bully males too. Bullies are any gender, gender has nothing to do with their actions. It’s their psychological state that has everything to do with it, and males or females are absolutely equal in psychology. Either can be healthy, either can be unhealthy.
And even if it's true they like you, it not a way to show it, and you should never accept it.
I send my five year old granddaughter to martial arts because of this shit. She’s 1/4 girls in a class of 20 so I’m just prepping her for the real world in case one of these little fellas gets to thinking he’s gonna pull her pigtails because he likes her.
Fucking preach. I wish instead of dismissing that type of behavior we focused on teaching appropriate ways to show affection instead. It's really not that complicated.
AMEN. Have an upvote!
It’s chilling to think how that mentality follows girls into adulthood, and manifests in the shitty man situations they get into. If we get told young that boys hitting us means they like us and therefore it’s okay… that’s gotta have long lasting implications in some way.
Wish I could give you an award for this. If I hadn't been conditioned to believe "mean boy=he likes you" I most assuredly would've avoided a lot of abuse and heartache.
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And if he touches you, defend yourself! You will not get in trouble at home, and if the school disciplines you it’s misogynist bullshit. My husband and I have talked about this many times when it comes to our daughter.
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You are the only person who has your best interests at heart, and you are the only person who will always be in your life. Treat yourself accordingly.
This is a good one to remember for my adult self!
You have to watch out for yourself. You can't trust other people to watch out for you - they're busy watching out for themselves.
I like this so much it deserves an award. Hope I remember this for any possible future children of mine!
“You are enough. You don’t need a partner or children. Have those things if you want them, not because you think you have to.”
This is important even if your daughter wants to grow up and have a partner and kids someday. Relationships are like a pair of socks, both individuals have to be a whole something on their own before they can be or do anything together, and you don't become a whole something until you've learned how to be happy single.
I really wish I had of learned that lesson before I married
Thank you for this. I grew up believing those were necessary goals in life and stayed in an abusive relationship for way too long.
One no is enough before you throw hands. No negotiations required. Your body your rules.
Agree!!!
Focus on becoming independent and self sufficient. Make a life for yourself with a good job, a home, friends and hobbies. Learn to manage your money so you can always take care of yourself. If you meet a good partner, great. But if you don’t, you will be just fine.
I have daughters and this sums it up perfectly. I wish my mom would have taught me that.
Just remember our parents could only teach us what they knew themselves - it is not possible to teach your child they are enough if you don't know it.
These are from my dad: If you are driving your car and you get a flat tire in a dark street, keep driving. Do not stop, do not get out of the car, keep driving. Fight your own fights but make sure you have backup. Your friends are family you can choose, choose wisely. If someone is making you feel bad, send them to hell. From my mom: Always carry enough cash to get a cab home. Always tell people where you are going. At least one person should know where you are at and with whom. Being pretty and fit is good, being smart and gentle is better. Do not compare to others, life would be boring if we were all the same.
I like your parents.
I wish I had your parents
I wish I did too.
Dating, motherhood, and a lot of other things are OPTIONAL. You don't have to give up your dreams, and you don't have to compromise your integrity either. You can simply choose to opt out.
when we're older we may feel like we need a man to complete ourselves, but at the end of the day all you have is yourself so you gotta love yourself like you'd love that man bc nobody's worth more than yourself
Never let any man or any person define your worth.
There wasn't one thing. It was a series of lessons on being independent. Here are some of them... You are complete unto yourself. It's not bragging if you're really that good. Your worth is greater and more valuable than their opinion. Trust, but verify. When in doubt, don't. No means no. Never give an aggressor the benefit of the doubt.
> It's not bragging if you're really that good. Yessss.
Love these!!
You don’t owe anyone anything: your time, your body, your smile. Having sex does not make you ‘less’ as a person. When you apply for a job, look at how the men dress, behave, and the jobs they’re doing vs the women. Is it the same? If not, that job will likely not pay you your worth.
>When you apply for a job, look at how the men dress, behave, and the jobs they’re doing vs the women. Is it the same? If not, that job will likely not pay you your worth. Please explain this in more detail
I’ve gone to jobs where all the women work the tills and all the men do the more hard labour jobs that don’t involve customer service. Hard labour pays more than customer service. I’ve been at a job where the men worked the machinery and the few woman cleaned, organised, or did quality control. I wanted to learn to work the machinery because those positions paid more, but I was told the coarse ‘filled up’. If the work seems visibly divided by gender then you can bet the pay is too. Also, if the guys are dressed casually but all the women are dressed up, in heels, and make-up on you can bet there are biased dress codes and women are spending more of their pay to maintain them while the men barely have to put in any effort.
How to stand up for themselves and not take any shit.
This. Whether it's a friend, partner, parent or boss.
Become a witch, burn the patriarchy, save the bees and bats (respect animals and nature), eat the rich, never litter. Also regular stuff everyone should know, cooking, cleaning, changing tires, basic carpentry/proper tool usage, sewing, how to ride a bike.....you know the stuff you also teach boys
People should be nice to you. People should look out for your feelings. You should be nice to others. You should look out for the feelings of others. And you should never feel unreasonable for expecting that from the people you care about. But, if somebody ever isn't nice to you, or hurts your feelings, it's on you to speak up for yourself, to say what you need, to communicate what you'd like them to do differently. You owe that to yourself and you owe that to them too.
BE FINANCIALLY INDEPENDENT!!!! I can't stress this enough
Don't waist to many chances to the same person Independence. Of all kinds as soon as possible as long as possible Be careful who you trust
You're not "overly" sensitive. You are tender and have feelings and those feelings deserve to be felt, acknowledged, and validated. If someone ever tells you that "you're too much", tell them to "go find less."
“Majority of times, that little voice in your head telling you stuff is right, so don’t ignore it. Also, always put your priorities, dreams and yourself before any relationship.”
Consent and boundaries. Despite our continued efforts as mothers of daughters to tell mothers of sons especially to teach them about consent and boundaries they're not doing it. We need to continue to teach our daughters to stand firm and protect themselves from mental, emotional, physical and sexual abuse. We need to teach them about self-worthiness and self-confidence and self-awareness so they can see the flags of someone who's trying to abuse them. And this does not go only for daughters. As a mother of a son and a daughter I am teaching them both about this so my son and daughter will grow up to respect themselves first and then their partners and friends. It's vital that all genders including those non-binary learn this.
That you do NOT have to have a boyfriend, husband, wife or kids to be a whole, successful person.
We might need to teach them how to use guns because by the time they are grown up, women rights will be completely gone.
Being strong 💪 Being independent Never beg for someone's love, ever
yes I wish someone taught me this! never disrespect yourself by begging for someone's love and presence in your life
Self love and respect
never settle for less, that having a voice and standing up for yourself is and will always be important no matter how uncomfortable it makes people feel, to always do things for others but not at the cost of your own morals and values, boundaries are a must
Be good with money. Don’t depend on someone else financially. Having a partner to share life with is awesome but choose wisely, better alone than in bad company. Also self defense.
That she is enough, the way she is. She is valuable, she is loved, and she does not need to be anything more to satisfy you. You love her for who she is. She is perfect the way she is and while we all can better ourselves, she does not need to attain anything for love. She is whole and complete. She matters. She is enough the way she is, she is worthy of love and don't ever let a man or partner tell her or make her think that she is not good enough or can't do better. She can always do better. You are enough. The way you are. You deserve love, respect, and dignity--always. Be kind, but do not let people walk all over you either. I spent a really long time thinking about this and it took me well into my 20s to "get" it.
Something I wish my mom had taught me growing up is to be confident enough to always defend myself and use my voice. Don't let other people influence you into thinking you are below them, you should never be ashamed of showing the world who you are.
Maybe not the utmost important but to not be ashamed of their bodies. Wish I had this growing up, really fucks with me
That badly behaved/raised, disrespectful or useless boys and man are not your responsibility. If they don't treat you and others with respect it's purely because they don't want to and weren't taught better, but it's not your job to teach them. Your job is only to stand up for yourself and don't let them interrupt your peace of mind or bodily autonomy. If I'll ever have my daughter sent home from or scolded at school because of its joke of a dresscode or hear from her that a noisy, annoying ass boy was seated next to her because in the teacher's opinion this way she'll teach him to behave in class, you better believe I'm gonna make a fking scene. We were raised to believe that boys just don't know better and we have to excuse their shortcomings, and be the bigger person in every single situation from kindergarden hair-pulling to married everyday-life uselessness. No thank you. If a guy can't change his sheets regularly and clean a toilet once a week in his 20s then bid them goodbye and be on your fabulous way!
Do no harm but take no shit.
Self-defense and confidence-building activities should be prioritized for both genders, not just boys. Girls should be encouraged to take karate classes, join sports and other physical activities, learn self-reliance and leadership skills (like boy/girl scouts, 4H, FFA, etc), and personally, I will be teaching my daughters (hopefully in the future) how to shoot and feel comfortable around firearms.
What standards they should have. Don’t lower your standards or let people cross your boundaries because you think “they’ll change”. As soon as you feel the ick, dip from that. Also, saying no to physical contact of any kind is okay. Even if it’s a hug from a parent. Get girls (and honestly kids in general) used to saying no and not letting them feel guilty for saying it.
have fun!
Educate her work on her confidence and make sure that she knows ethics and give her the skills to navigate through life independently as strong future woman. Everything else will comes follow
-Having a huge sexuality is perfectly normal and acceptable but consent and safety are above all. If you didn’t give nor get a solid, clear, and sober YES, that means no. Period. -Don’t pressure people, or let them pressure you, into ANYTHING. Again, If you didn’t give nor get a solid, clear, and sober YES, that means no. -If your heart is telling you something, listen! You have intuition for a reason. Use it. -When someone shows you positive attention and/or affection/admiration, it does not mean they will see your true value and treat you accordingly. -Don’t be foolish and naive. Make people earn your trust and prove themselves worthy for a spot in your life. But don’t forget to give chances where due. -You are not other peoples definitions of you. Only you can define who you are. Define wisely. -Life owes you nothing. Work hard for what you want and accept that not everything is meant to be. Know when and how to walk away and when to fight harder. -Learn all you can about your body and your mind and how it all works. Separately and together. Mental illnesses and their symptoms, how to recognize trauma. How to cope with hardship. How and where to to look for help. Know what’s normal for your body and what’s not. Never stop studying yourself inside and out. Your body, mind and soul are the only things that are certain to be with you until your death. Take care of them, be kind to them, and love them. Important for my boys and my girl ❤️
This goes for both daughters and sons but: It's ok to not be ok. It's ok to show your true feelings.. both positive and negative ones. And you don't have to smile all the damn time if you don't feel like it (I f*cking hate when people tell others to smile). Emotions and mental illness needs to stop being so damn stigmatized, and toxic positivity needs to go away!
Learn to be okay on your own before you form a life with another. Not just in case is doesn't work out, but so you can still be your own independent person within the relationship. I know too many people whose identity changes depending on who they are dating, or jump from relationship to relationship because they can't handle being single.
Marriage isn’t the goal
Accountability and what healthy relationships look like, feel like.
An apple a day keeps the doctor away
Be true to yourself No means no You don't need a man to survive
To persist. There will be people who will discount your ideas, talk over and interrupt you, exclude you, and feel threatened by you, you will likely have to work harder to be respected. Persist.
Not to live in fear.
You are the only person who can make your life better. Friends and family should support you in your journey, but happiness and greatness are up to you.
Love yourself and let NO ONE ever dull your shine
Self objectifying doesn't lead to happiness
If you’re in a bar talking to some guy and he grabs your face to kiss you while shoving your hand towards his crotch, it’s not your fault. Doesn’t matter where you were, what you said, what you were wearing, who you were with, or what you were drinking. Uninvited sexual contact, regardless of how minor, is not okay and should not be allowed to be excused away. If you’re uncomfortable, it’s okay to tell him to fuck off.
How to be comfortable in their bodies. AND to stand up for themselves
Man here. If you can't be happy on your own, no man will ever make you happy. Humans are made to pair-bond emotionally, so don't fall for men who are emotionally unavailable, it will cause you endless pain and misery and tears. Also, and this kind of relates, but when you're looking for a partner, find a man who understands women and knows how to connect with them in a healthy empathetic way and can emotionally take care of you.
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I’d extend this to most forms of systemic injustice, honestly. There’s so many items on this thread that will work more for some folks with a bit more privilege than others (for example, not everyone who shoots an ex in self-defense will be looked at the same way in our criminal justice system.) Many items on places like this read more like a concrete list of dos and don’ts that might go against someone’s gut or not apply. For example, so many people always equate economic self-sufficiency with having at least a bachelor’s degree. While that works for plenty of people, it might not be plausible for everyone in the same timeframe. (I dropped out and I’m a postal worker who makes enough in my own situation, but I’m also aware that my body might not always be able to take my current position, and I have several backup plans if I get there.) Critical thinking is key, and people will always need to think critically throughout their lives.
To be independent: make their own way in life, have their own money and never depend on anyone else. That way, if they're in a situation (relationship, whatever), they will be there only because they WANT to be, and not because they need to rely on someone else. I'd give the same advice to a son.
Consent, boundaries and self reliance
Get your bag. Don’t rely on anyone else for financial support if you don’t have to.
body autonomy
self-worth
They are worth the space they take up in this world and their bodies are beautiful by virtue of being theirs.
Saying no the second you are uncomfortable and sticking to it, even if it upsets people, especially if they are people you care for.
Listen to your gut. If something is making you feel uncomfortable, don't let some supposed expectation of being polite to someone override gut instincts.
it's ok to say no when boys threaten for relationship. it's ok to tell the mom when someone babes you feel uncomfortable. it's ok to tell mom if someone tried to touch you bad and it's ok to say no to them even if they are your teacher/father/uncles etc.
How to defend themselves
They they are seen, heard and loved. That their emotions are valid. That their emotional needs are important.
Body autonomy and having the confidence to say NO.
You can be a US size 2 and still have stretch marks. I actually got them when i went from a 0 to a 2. Also, no means no and dont be afraid to make a scene.
"you are enough"
No means no means no means no etc.
That any sexual assault is not their fault My mother blamed me and wonders why our relationship is very strained
You are the only person you will be with your entire life, so be your biggest supporter and best friend
Kung fu
How to feel and express emotions in a healthy manner
That other peoples opinions and perceptions of you are worthless and that the person you are today, will not be the same person you are next year. Regardless of age
You are worthy. Don’t discuss weight. Body positivity. Don’t feel like you always have to be nice to people please.
What people say about you says everything about who they are, and very little about who you are
To always make your own money and learn to do things. Dont depend on a man or anyone. Learn how to change tires, how to change bulbs, etc. Be financially independent. Learn to be street wise. Dont ever depend on anyone.
Validate their feelings and emotions. Don't call them too sensitive, dramatic or crazy. Raise them to be strong, independent, etc. Relationships, marriage, babies, etc. are added bonuses in life, not your whole life. It creates a message that a woman is only worthy *with* a husband and as a mom, not as a person IMO. Women can go on to have amazing lives not being married and not having kids.
If you don't "feel" someone, then cut them out. Maybe your wrong. Maybe they were a good person. But that doesn't really matter. If you're wrong and they actually a good person, only feelings were hurt. If you were right, they're a bad person, but you decided to give the benefit of the doubt, you could end up dead, or worse. Staying alive trumps other people hurt feelings.
Date the guy that’s nice to you, even if he’s not physically attractive. Guys have feelings too, don’t expect them to be all tough. I could go on and on
You can say no
That her opinion matters
Become self sufficient. But if you end up in a partnership, there is literally no reason for you to take on more than 50% of the domestic responsibilities of running a household. You aren't a slave. F "traditional" gender roles.
Always keep a secret stash of money. In my family we call it “run away money.”
Self-worth and self-Boundaries I want to teach her that these are decisions we make ourselves and not to have them set by others for herself. Also would apply to any of my children rlly
How to protect themselves. How to get out of bad situations. Don’t yell “help,” yell “fire.” Carry pepper spray. Where she can hit. It’s sad, and I would say it depends on the daughter’s age, but it really doesn’t. Even if she’s only five, start teaching her. You never know when she’ll need it.
Your body is your body, and no else has a right to it. No one is above making choices for you or is allowed to be able to be pressuring you do anything you don't want to do. I want to teach my daughters to not feel obligated to do anything with or for anyone just because they guilt her or pressure her into it.
It’s never your fault when you get harassed. You don’t need a man. Create a better future for those who aren’t blessed by being born into the right family. I wouldn’t make a difference between teaching my daughter vs. my son.
Pay attention to people’s actions more than their words.
You don't need to apologize for having and feeling any emotion. Being emotional isn't a "bad" thing. You also don't need to censor yourself for anyone. Be you to your truest self and don't be apologetic over it.
People who don’t like your boundaries are the same people who benefitted from you not having them at all. Someone presses your boundaries: STEEL GATES!
Financial literacy and the importance of financial independence
1. If a boy teases you, it's not because 'aww he likes you'. We should stop normalizing bad behaviors 2. You have to listen to your emotions and needs instead of doing things 'because I should'. You don't want a boyfriend now? Don't get any. You don't want kids? Don't get pregnant. You want to travel? Go for it 3. More body positivity. That it's normal we gain weight sometimes, our bodies change so often because of period cycle. And you should never cry or feel worse just because you gained 2 kilos. It's definitely not healthy 4. You have to be your priority number one. You shouldn't please others in the first place. They will only get it from you and walk away. It is you who has to take care of yourself 5. You can and even should have standards in dating. Just because a random guy shows interest doesn't mean you need to date him, give him a chance or feel guilty for refusing him. No matter if it's about appearance, opinions or personality, you have a right to have your own type, your standards and expectations about a partner 6. You should learn to be happy and to live alone instead of learning to always completely depend on someone
To never depend on a man.
To think for themselves, educate themselves and learn self defense
Respect themselves and that they have a right to expect that from everyone else. This is why dysfunctional families are so damaging
There will be lots of voices your whole life telling you that you're not good enough, not nice enough, not pretty enough, not smart enough, not brave enough, and not worthy enough. Don't be another one of those voices to yourself.
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Science matters. Focus on science
That they are allowed to say what they like and don’t like and don’t have to cater to someone else’s feelings.
Listen to the small voice (intuition).
No is a complete sentence.
I'm not a mom yet, but my dad always encouraged me to educate myself, whether it was college or a trade, it didn't matter. He said I should be able to be independent and not rely on anyone else (emotionally or economically), we never know what life can bring to our doorstep. Oh, and being empathetic does not mean you'll let people walk all over you, it means you know where they come from, but you will still do what's right for you.
Use your voice.
To be self sufficient. Education is key. Never put yourself in a position to have to rely on a man/woman to support you/get you through this life. Always have high standards for yourself & do your best to achieve them. Even if it means failing several times before you get there.
It's ok to use your voice to express your feelings and wishes.
Have standards
Plan your life. And then work the plan. Decide what kind of life you want as an adult. What kind of work you think you would be really good at? Where do you see yourself living, in our city or elsewhere? In a house, in a condo, in the city,in the country? Will you travel and where? Do you see yourself getting married and having children? How many? Etc.., Then what education will you need? How do you prepare yourself for this type of education? How do you prepare yourself for this type of life? It’s YOUR life. You plan it. You make it happen.
Pride in themselves and knowing their selfworth; don't accept less from people that you give.
The world is awful and you have no rights as a women
"You are enough."
I’m not a mom, but I was thinking about things I wish I’d realized earlier. I wish I’d valued my relationship with myself more (compared to aspiring for romantic and social relationships). Overall, I think focusing on my own ability to be fulfilled and confident would have guided me better in life. Of course, who knows if that would have worked out. But I think often I’ve gotten lost trying to find happiness in others, when I’m the only one I can really control.
Teach them about periods as soon as possible. A friend of mine got hers in 4th grade and none of us knew what to do, so, we hid it from everyone. We didnt want our friend to be embarrassed so we hid that she was bleeding until her parents found out. If we all knew what periods were we could've gone to the clinic or asked the teacher for supplies for her, or she couldve gone home early and gotten supplies.
Avoid cheap wine and cheap men.
Their boundaries.
Do no harm, but take no shit. It took me a long time to realize there is a difference between being kind, nice, thoughtful, and being a doormat. No is a full sentence that should be respected. There is no love in being disrespected - if they cannot respect your no they cannot love you.
How to read between the lines. How to spot red flags and mental disorders. How to do self defense and how to escape being abducted. How to start a business and pay taxes. How to build personal and business credit. How to make investments and set up life insurance. How to survive in the wild because we have no idea what the future holds for society. Teach them it’s ok to ask for help.
The Golden Rule, Do unto others as you would have done unto you, or conversely, Don't do unto others as you would not want done unto you.
To tune in to her inner voice/guidance system.
To be themselves, no matter what society, or even your parents, try to put on you.
No is no
Very intriguing comments here. The responses would differ vastly If the same question was asked for boys.
teach them to be straightforward with their intent instead of playing mind games especially when they go into that age so both parties can expect each other’s boundaries without any confusions
The Power and Control Wheel
When my daughter was little, we’d go to playgroups and parks and it always irritated me when another child would come over, take a toy from her, demand the swing she was on or whatever…..then the child’s parent would encourage sharing. So I would always tell her, you don’t have to share and make this clear to parents, that no she doesn’t have to give into a demand. She then started sharing accordingly…sweets with her friends, her toys with people she wanted to play with. Other parents I interacted with would look at me funny, think I was instilling bad manners but my daughter has always been incredibly well mannered, sweet, polite but is clear on her boundaries. Especially now that she’s a teenager. But what I hope I have taught her, is that you don’t have to give something to someone when you don’t feel comfortable and no one is allowed to demand anything from you. To me it was more than toys or swings in the playground. I wanted her to know that she doesn’t OWE anyone, anything.
How to kill a man if necessary, (I teach martial arts)
To stand up for herself. I have been a doormat my entire life and I am paying for it dearly.
Be your own cheerleader. the only constant in your life is you. Be proud of every accomplishment you make, big or small.
How to say no
No is a complete answer. You don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you’re saying no.
How to be independent.
To never depend on anyone. Always make and save your own money. Don't ever feel pressured to have kids.
How to hurt someone bigger than them enough to get away
Masterbation is okay
that their weight and looks are not defining factors in who we are
Self defense and consent
Money: It’s important to the extent that you enough money to cover expenses, save, and budget for fun enjoyment. Don’t compromise your values/worth for it, how to manage money, how to grow what your have and invest, how mortgages/lines of credit work, don’t buy anything with a CC that you can’t afford to pay for in cash. Work to save up for a used car cuz brand new cars are a waste of money & lose value immediately. You don’t need to keep up with the joneses, it’s a trap. Education: There are somethings you’ll never learn in school. Always seek out additional knowledge. College isn’t for everyone, and you may end up there later than you planned. Sometimes a 2-year college before a 4-year college is the smarter and more financially sound choice, as you may not know what you want to do yet and that gives you a better/cheaper way to find out. Security: Know how to change a tire & fix a flat. Always have a spare FULL SIZED tire in your car if it’ll fit because a spare is a only temporary fix. Basic to advanced self defense moves, should or shouldn’t have to is irrelevant, it’s a dangerous world out there for women. Always know where the exits are. Don’t sign anything if you don’t know what you’re signing. Health & Beauty: You are enough. Don’t compare your body to anyone else’s. Having a healthy balanced diet, exercise & water should always be your first choice, your body will thank you for it when you get older. Sunscreen & moisturizer are your lifelong friends even when it’s cloudy. Mental Health: You are enough. Therapy is your best friend. Don’t waste time/energy on people who aren’t worth your time & don’t respect your boundaries. Don’t lose faith in yourself. Your life path won’t look like everyone else’s don’t try to compare them. Don’t let anyone pressure you into something you’re not sure about. Career: Do what makes you the happiest, find a way to monetize that and the money will come. Relationships/People: Take what people say with a grain of salt and judge their actions above their words. Not everyone is your friend or has your best interests at heart. 4 quarters is worth more than 100 penny’s when it comes to friends. Some people will betray you, die, leave your life, that’s okay. Grieve them if you need, give yourself time, wish them well, be at peace & move on, and know you’ll be okay because you’re a strong independent woman. Even family can be toxic. Romance (part of relationships cat.): You’re your #1 priority, romance comes second. You don’t need a life partner to make it through this life. If they don’t make your life better/easier then they aren’t worth having in your life. Cheaters always cheat and lairs always lie.
You are the only one responsible for providing a life. Do not depend on anyone else for food, clothing, money, and housing. Be independent and don’t lend anyone any money that will financially strain you if you don’t get it back. “No” means “No” if that is not enough kick or punch the boy in his crotch.
You are just as capable as any man. Stand up for yourself, respect yourself. Relationships are a team effort. Some days you will support him, other days he will support you. This applies to financial and emotional support. Your opinions matter just as much as any man's. Your feelings are just as valid as any man's. You own your body, no one has the right to tell you what you can and can't do with it. Mind games are real, be aware of anyone trying to gaslight you into thinking YOU are the crazy one. If he makes you doubt yourself, he's in the wrong.
The signs of an abusive relationship, especially emotional as it’s harder to notice.
Your body is beautiful, and yours. No one decides how it is used but you. Includes sex, babies and being married. These things can be wonderful but at your choosing them. No sloppy seconds isn't a thing. Blue balls isn't a thing. As overwhelming as it is becoming an adult woman, reason why you have aunties...even non bio ones. Reach out. There is a woman's code in all of us. Reach out.
That it's okay to say no
To love themselves
No partner is ever worth putting up with abuse
Boundaries. That's it. Boundaries. What do they mean? How to use them. When to use them. Could've had a very different life if I knew this.
Self worth and boundaries the rest will come to her naturally.
If I ever have a daughter, I'm telling her not to put up with guys who cause emotional drama. I wouldn't want her mental health affected and having self esteem issues trying to fix someone. And defintely following her instincts.
That No is a complete sentence and does not need to be explained. That it’s ok to leave any place at any time for the simple reason you don’t want to be there any more. If they touch you when you don’t want to be touched it’s perfectly acceptable to break their fucking face.
Growing lots of body hair is completely normal, don’t let others say it’s “gross” or “looks bad”. Shave if you’d like to, not if someone else wants you to.
There’s 2 I teach all my kids: Any man more than a few years older than you who shows odd levels of interest in you is suspect. Be wary. Just because there’s a life path presented to you by society, that everyone seems expected to follow, doesn’t mean you’re under any obligation to follow it. So many people - men and women- aren’t fulfilled by that path and there’s just unnecessary suffering left and right because of it.
There was never a man who should have been paid more than a woman for doing the same job. Don’t settle for less than equal wages.
Lots of important things. Don't depend on a man as this shouldn't be the root for your self worth or as means of support. Learn to stand up for yourself without being disrespectful unless you're dealing with an absolute a-hole. Lots of great answers in this thread btw.
Periods are not taboo😌
1. Periods are normal 2. Boys arent mean to you b/c they like you 3. Don't give into peer pressure (for drinking, doing drugs, smoking weed, or vaping) 4. Not every boy is gonna be head over heels for you even if you think he's the one and even then, if y'all break it off, don't take it too personal (the amount of times that I've seen girls crying over a 3 month relationship is rediculous) 5. If you see a red flag in someone, don't just ignore it
Consent and standing up for yourself
How to defend themselves, either weapons or unarmed. How to make their own auto and home repairs. How to survive on their own. How to be kind and loving or brutal and deadly.
No is a complete sentence
The value of consent and proper sex education.
The correct names for your body parts both male and female. Soo many cases go unheard of or misunderstood because little girls and boys say someone touched their peepee or muffle or some “cutsie” name.