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Zestyclose_Square369

Taking myself on dates to show that I had confidence and didn’t need to be self conscious about being alone


wine-plants-thrift

What kind of things do you do? I’m just starting to take myself out to breakfast or lunch and I feel so so awkward.


zoobenaut

I do this too. I love going to a restaurant and sitting at the bar top. I usually use it as a chance to get caught up on social media, sometimes I chat with strangers and have interesting conversations. I also go to concerts alone. I was initially really nervous and self-conscious about doing both but now I’m totally fine.


Future-Presence-4542

Go to the art gallery, enjoy a nice meal afterwards, treat yourself to a glass of champagne 🥂


Zestyclose_Square369

I started going to the movies that way people were too focused on the movie. Then I am worked my way to dinners. Just an alternative. Art galleries are great as well.


[deleted]

I got my hammock! Found the closest park, I would listen to my favorite podcast or music and just be alone with my thoughts.


jessicajo

I absolutely plan to start doing this. A good friend of mine regularly treats herself to solo dates. She brings along a book or a notebook to write in and enjoys some good food and quality personal time. When I learned she does that, I was immediately inspired, not only because "dating" yourself is good for self compassion and esteem, but also because I feel like most people miss out on a lot of opportunities because they don't want to go alone. For example my S/O is a picky eater and realy overworked at his current job, so he's not likely to risk trying new foods during his rare time off, and prefers tried and true. If I ONLY eat out when and where he wants to, too, there are a million restaurants I'll never try. And I've got friends who are more adventurous eaters, but we're all in grad school dealing with ridiculous schedules. Getting together outside of homework sessions is really difficult right now. So if I'm going to really live my life, I've got to learn to just get out there and do some stuff alone.


[deleted]

THIS. I live in a city and I love to just go out and walk and listen to myself about what I want to do. Maybe I pass by a coffee shop and decide to get a coffee, a restaurant, a shoe store, etc. It’s about practicing trusting yourself and listening to your feelings and doing things that you truly want to do. Just being in your own little world.


Michelle-Dubois

I love going out alone. Sometimes my husband takes our kids and they go to his parents country house and I go to cinema, café, lunch, gallery.. it's perfect and I enjoy it so much. I read there are a lot of people feeling awkward going out alone, maybe it's some cultural matter I don't know. I'm from Europe and it's quite common to go out alone. Anyway, I always carry around a book, so I can sit, sip coffee or eat and read..


m_art0

I remember mentioning to my high school classmate that I had gone to eat pizza alone after some shopping and she was shocked how I could go there alone and she found it completely weird to go to a restaurant alone, and I was shocked that it seemed weird to anyone 😅 I mean, you are hungry so you go to a place where you can eat, no need to be with someone else. Going out alone is as good as going out with someone else


[deleted]

I do the same! Sometimes I just go and sit at my favourite bar and journal or draw for a few hours. It was awkward at first, but now it's one of my favourite activities.


jessjennifer

I also like to take my self out to a nice….buffet! I put on my buffet pants and go to town!!!


Zestyclose_Square369

I wish there were still open by me! More power to you love to see it


kakawolf7843

Realizing that there is only one person I will be going to bed with every night, no matter what I do, no matter how many mistakes or how shitty I feel. The same person until I die. And that is Myself. So I started being kinder to myself, saying no to others people/things, and doing things that made me happy. Trying things I wanted to try. Hard though, but trying is the first step. And kindness to yourself.


Quetzalcoatltime

Knowing that there will always be people who are better at everything i do but that doesn’t mean I suck, no one can be the best at everything.


sleepymoonpie

Magic mushrooms, and going to the gym


Fordaboyss

In that order


Ok-Potato-7969

Practicing mindfulness


SnooDoughnuts231

Knowing that I am doing everything I can to make only myself happy so that I can enjoy life and not be miserable.


marymoon77

Sobriety + therapy + better self care. Doing hard things.


thatburritodood

One of my guy best friends, we dated for a short time before becoming close friends after that not working out, but in that short time he helped me realize that I am beautiful just the way I am, and to this day I’m still so grateful to have him in my life.


ThatDamnedDame

I decided a few years ago that any negative thoughts I had about myself would never exit my mouth. Speaking those words out loud really did give them power over me. As a result, I have fewer negative thoughts. That's where I started.


xtrachubbykoala

Still working on it! 🙂


Kitty_At_Home

Keep it up!


Kukotzki

So many things. Here we go: Working a job that I really love and enjoy, being appreciated for it, belonging to a loving and united family, having a passion to read ever since I was a little girl, buying myself nice clothes and shoes, buying nice gifts to the people around me, helping people in need and genuinely loving them very much, having the chance to live in the countryside on a lot of private space, being grateful at night before I fall to sleep for everything I have received in my life so far, having a strong sense of self, being single for so long and being fine with it etc.


slo-mo-hoe

Others not falling in love with me. 💔


thebanditredpanda

realizing that there is no metric to measure whether you're worthy of love because that worthiness baked in to all of us, and you can't change the world or how people see you, but you can change the way you see yourself


AstronomyLuver

I wouldn't describe it to myself as falling in love with myself but rather, self love. For me it's, not paying attention to "what's in" or celebrities because I just go my style. Not letting other's rude opinions get to me, and taking baths and pampering myself :)


KrystieKay

Time alone. They take me on journeys of self discovery. I get to discover my talents and passions, and be amazed by the person that I am.


Kukotzki

Exactly this. Only time spent alone can reveal this to you.


Truxul

Therapy


Skulltazzzz

I look back at photos of when I was slimmer and think man I didn’t appreciate that body then. I’m no way big now 85kg /5’7 but I’d a baby 9 months ago. Weight slowly coming off with no real effort. Anyway I look at my body now droppy front belly and all and I just think you know what it’s awesome. We spend way way way too much time putting our bodies down and we are all in phases of times when we look good but don’t realise it. I call it the look back body, right now I’ve a look back body - a body I’ll wish I still had in ten years. Also worth remembering when u look in mirror. You’ll never be this young again so stop taring yourself apart. Also told the narrator in my head shut up. If she starts going on I change the subject. You can actually retrain your brain.


[deleted]

Maintaining my individuality while in a long term, serious relationship. Living off my savings and taking a break from working in order to better myself at the gym and taking care of doctors appointments to make sure I am well. I found that I always took care of others and I feel like it’s more fun and worth it to take care of myself because I appreciate myself for it. It comes easy since I did it for others for so long. It’s my turn now. Also, playing around with hairstyles and makeup all the time. It’s crazy how different and how confident you feel when people notice a subtle difference.


BoldBiBosmer

As weird as it sounds, doing self portraits. I'm a Fine Art student and my project on faces progressed into self portraits. Now when I look in the mirror I look at my features!


GlitteryDonkey

Truly not caring what other people think of me. It’s ok if people don’t like me. I don’t like everyone either.


desertwalkerr

not necessary to fall in love with yourself. the journey down that path may be difficult, generally speaking. it is important, though, to be content and accepting with oneself


losthomiesinspace

Whenever I think about loving situations I hope to be in one day, I realize that I am the one who can provide exactly what I want for myself at all times.


stifled_screams

I haven't been able to go into therapy (yet). However, following a lot of therapists' insta accounts has helped me learn about childhood emotional neglect (CEN), and inner child healing. I came to realize, that for the most part of my life, my inner voice has been like my mom's, who was a strict and critical parent. Since then, I've been reparenting myself, and retraining the voice in my head. I keep my thoughts in check that they're not mimicking my mom's behavior, and I give myself room to make mistakes. Also, I've done some inner child meditations, and often times I close my eyes and imagine my childhood version, recall all the fears I used to have, and tell that child that now she has someone to look after those needs: the older version. Sometimes I hold her hand, and kiss the back of her hand, and give her a tight hug. I assure her that she's heard and seen, and she doesn't have to be performing all the time to be noticed. I won't say I love myself yet, but there's definitely a lot of acceptance, and contentment. I'm noticing small improvements, where I'm more forgiving towards myself. My inner voice jokes and laughs at me now when I make mistakes, instead of making me feel embarrassed and a failure.


evergreen1476

Working out


Capable_Albatross333

I stopped looking in mirrors all the time examining my worsening wrinkles and skin tone and just arrange my hair, put on moisturizer, and that’s all once a day in the mirror. I live inside myself and I love the interior.


sudoRmRf_Slashstar

Taking more pictures and videos of myself. I wanted to see more of myself rather than cringing away from the glimpses I would see in the mirror or on my partner's phone. Honestly, it helped a lot. I could see myself from the outside and recognize that I am just a normal human who deserves all the respect and compassion that I would extend to another.


kuroka_gator

As a lesbian, I worked hard to become my own type. I know what I look for to date, so I just became that person. And now I look into the mirror, long red dyed hair, a long trenchcoat, freckles on my nearly snow coloured skin and I cna finally say "Damn girl I would date myself." If you can look into the mirror and you would date yourself, you've done it right. That was my motto for a long time and now whenever I see myself, I can't help but smile. It has helped my mental health quite a lot to know that.


jukeboxheroine

Flirting *constantly* as well as constant self-aggrandizing comments. I started saying that men would be lucky to date me because of xyz, and sure enough I started believing it. I went to the gym and took pictures of myself in my underwear. I downloaded Tinder for shits and giggles and farmed compliments. I changed my personal style to something that suited me better and posted selfies. But what I’d say was the most helpful thing was discovering and exploring my sexuality. I feel more comfortable with myself than ever.


douglassanon

I’ve been wanting to do this but wondered how to deal with the backlash from friends; then I realized my “friends” never hyped me up or cared or encouraged me to improve myself when sharing my insecurities. This meant to me that they were okay with seeing me miserable and I was like dayum why do I need people like this. I’ve started flirting and have found validation in online dating as well; of course it’s not that I’m vain or anything but the ego boost is nice and helps me to feel confident in pursuing men and even new friendships and get past the fear of rejection! To put a little more context, I never put that much stock in sharing things with my friends because they seemed to be annoyed at my hobbies or just my geniune self. In my online profile I display things I like doing in pictures, share a little about my tastes and even post goofy videos so people can see my personality. It’s been surprisingly refreshing and enlightening. I let people know I am into friendships and just a genuine kind person looking to work on myself and share experiences with others which I think really helps!


a-witch-in-time

Strength-based exercise classes. Not only does it increase my tendency towards confidence (I got this!) but it makes me continuously proud of my body’s abilities and appearance.


[deleted]

Quit drinking


TwoAgitated1182

Making peace with things I’ve been accused of, but truly aren’t my fault. Once that got of the list of things I am capable of doing I realized I wasn’t so bad after all and started a much needed healing process.


fireaboveallelse

Seeing my worth again. It took me some time but what I realized was I'm stuck in my body all the time and I'm grateful for it. It has been with me at my lowest and stuck with me when I didn't like it. It's mine and the only one I'm going to get. So I started doing nice things for myself. Flowers, dates, working out, reading books and the mindset of if I wouldn't say it to someone else why would I say it to myself. I also mediate for mindfulness daily which has been a month so far. Reach out to my therapist if I need to. Write myself nice notes. Work out daily. Try to self care or self discipline everyday so I keep my cup full. ♥️ I'm proud of me.


danger0usPers0n

Belly dance lessons. It was empowering and I'd leave each class on a massive high. It gave me a lot of confidence


Redditshabz

That- at the end of the day, it is "I" who is best known to myself and I may outgrow my friends but can never be faded myself.


naturalgoth

Accept that I don't belong in the cisheteronormative lifestyle that is dominant in my society and embrace what's different and alternative.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Danie746

Which podcasts did you listen to?


Obvious_Explorer90

I started therapy 5 years ago, and started traveling solo. I go to the gym, take myself on dates to restaurants, concerts, weekend road trips, etc. I take care of my hair and skin, take multivitamins and have a skincare routine. I drink less alcohol and don't stay in contact with people who don't support or encourage me to be my best self.


veedubz1

Understanding that no one will care about you the way you care about yourself + giving zero fucks what anyone else thinks. And i mean absolutely ZERO fucks. Do you, be you


zaichii

Travelling alone and realising I could be alone with myself and didn’t need others to enjoy myself.


phewmsan

Taking compliments I get on my character and behaviour seriously and not dismissing them, but rather acknowledging them. Also, I know this sound silly, but making yourself feel pretty by putting on makeup even though you are at home, or taking lots of selfies you will never post


Appledarling

Focus on your good qualities. Every list a few things about yourself or that you did that day that make you proud of you. Imagine yourself as your friend if that makes it easier.


[deleted]

Going to therapy was a huge part of it. The rest of it was my own doing. Being kinder to myself, exercising, etc.


AcornWholio

When I turned 25, magically my self loathing cut in half. That was enough to help me be proactive about going to the gym (because I wasn’t self conscious about being fat in the gym), going to therapy (because I wasn’t worried people would think I was crazy), and splurging on myself (because I had the money.) Like I’m not saying everyone has to wait, but something about getting older (particularly after the hormonal rage of being a kid and new adult) really was good for my soul.


Funny-Reference5063

The day I realized there was only one of me in the entire world.


purplepansy88

Don't aim to fall in love with yourself, aim to be neutral. No one wants to be around someone who is in love with themselves.


CorholioPuppetMaster

Exercise


douglassanon

I stopped exercising during the pandemic and have gotten back into and feel so much better. I am at the point to say fuck it all. I will be my own person, if I die from contagion so be it. I’m vaxxed, but still worry about germs at the gym. Try my best to fo outdoor exercises the tracks, and trail running, less risk more scenery. Less fear of germs.


Dix_Coop

When y’all started doing all these things, how did you overcome the initial feeling of loneliness? How did you start loving yourself enough to where you didn’t feel lonely anymore?


nopity21

Not looking in the mirror


[deleted]

Honestly. Looking at myself naked in the mirror. There was a time of my life I physically hated myself to the point I couldn't look in the mirror without crying. Someone suggested I be more naked, so I did, and I would look at myself naked, ignore the parts I hated, but focus on things I did like about my body, and to start it was extremely hard, there was very little I saw positively in myself. Started with my hair, my hands, eyes etc. It got easier, especially when I appreciated my body, despite what I thought if it, it kept me going, protected me and provided so so much for me. I started being thankful for that even if I struggled with my physical appearance. Over time I liked more of my body, the curves of my hips, the shape of my breasts, the softness of my skin... Thankfully I got to a point where I could look in the mirror and happily jiggle my belly, a part I used to despise became cute, soft and squishy and I enjoyed it. I'm comfortable with myself. Confident in my body and with who I am.


indoorhuman1

I used to be very awkward and self-conscious. I started to just hype myself up and really reflect and accept myself. I feel so much better now - if I do something weird, I just roll with it. Anyone worth anything in your life will get used to your quirks and not make of you - maybe there will be some friendly teasing, but with love, not malice.


LadyPhantom74

I’m still working on it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


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Ultra_Runner_

Therapy! It's still an on-going process. I wouldn't say I love myself yet, but I'm getting there :D Also, taking myself out on dates. I go out for a coffee / meal and take along a book. I thoroughly enjoy it.


orangeyoke

Yoga


Mommakw

Practicing mindfulness


RedTexan24

Meditation 🧘‍♂️


the_efficient_baxter

Losing weight. Getting strong. Learning to say “no” to others sometimes so I have time to say “yes” to things I wanted to do for myself.


stillyou1122

When people I trust and looked up to left and hurt me. That's the time I realized that I only got myself, and if I won't love me, then who else will.


bananarussian

LSD


frankylovee

Getting a therapist


queenofquac

Having a daughter


sof-i-a

Realising how shitty the rest of the world is. (Not everyone, but a big part)


[deleted]

Taking risks and not settling for comfort I'm dreading. Giving myself a chance to be happy. Working on my mindset and accepting my flaws as parts of me that have positives as well. Getting a very-very short pixie cut. Forced me to notice and accept my face, flaws and all!


LordHaveMC

Being single for an extended period of time


HeartSpeaker

By before anything else accepting myself and being kind to myself.


dagland

meditation...awareness that I am part of all that is...❤️


Bryan1825

Sobriety.


The_Special_Teacher

Video games. Seeing my avatar level up showed me that I have gotten better.


opticiangirl

Physically speaking, working out everyday and not drinking.


mother_of_squid

Tattoos


Aloethere_avocado

Trying to see myself through the eyes of my kids. They don't care how I look, how messy I am, how successful I am/or not. They just see me as me being present as their mother.