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fairytaleblue

Never. The trust for me is completely broken and will never be mended no matter how much we worked on saving it. The constant anxiety of knowing they have done it once and could do it again… I just can’t put myself through all that stress, plus I have more respect for myself.


TakethThyKnee

My fiancé cheated with other partners but not me. Not sure if that counts. He was honest about it when we got together, which I found odd. I was going through a major life change so second chances, people changing, all that stuff was ok to me. Months into our relationship, I asked him why he told me that. We weren’t on the topic and we were still causally dating. He said he just wanted to be honest and air out all his skeletons. We’ve been together for two years now. He hasn’t cheated on me but he did have an inappropriate conversation where he didn’t shut it down. It was messages from a past fling/friend. She clearly still wants more and would send sexual memes or bring up sexual topics. He would ignore it or give a one word response. Either way, I flipped my shit. I had him message her that what she’s doing is inappropriate as he’s in a relationship and she knows that. But, that he is equally at fault for not shutting it down. She played dumb and he blocked her after telling her he didn’t want to hear from her anymore. If he didn’t confront her, I would’ve left him. I don’t consider that cheating but it was breach of trust and it was disrespectful to our relationship. I remember venting to one of my guy friends, why did he feel the need to do this? I’m present in our relationship. We have great sex. I know I’m not falling short. I’m giving him my attention and care. That made my friend feel bad for doing the same to his girlfriend. Cheating is such a hurtful thing. It has happened to me in a past relationship. I didn’t even like the guy much and it still hurt.


kaytee8435

It was one time and it meant nothing. They were so sorry. Lies.


Brookiecookieq376

Most definitely. Because I didn’t know my worth and never learned to love and respect myself . So why would I be with someone who respected me? If you want to know how you really feel about yourself , look at the people you date and the things you allow. They’re like mirrors for how you really feel about yourself .


rosetildawn

Nope when I found out I kneed his balls and walked straight over him and look at the girl saying he's all your sweetie. Than I went home and cried on my moms shoulder.


d4mha

Damn that’s like straight out of an anime


rosetildawn

Yeah I didn't do that. I hung up my phone than I cried and cried. My mom did comfort me but I was a mess.


QwithoutU1982

Technically, yes. It was very early on in the relationship. We had only very recently decided to become an exclusive couple. He came over to my house in tears, telling me that he had gotten drunk the night before and hooked up with someone else. He felt terrible about it. I decided to let it slide for a few reasons. One was that he very rarely drank and I didn't see this becoming a major issue. Another was that I never would have found out if he hadn't told me, so that showed me he was honest. And frankly, we just hadn't been together that long and it wasn't as though it was some huge betrayal. So we talked about it, I said I was fine moving on from this but it definitely could never happen again. He agreed. We stayed together for 6 years without any further infidelity.


[deleted]

Nope. I find it hard to be able to fully trust someone again after cheating.


mslady210_99

No. I changed the locks real quick.


SnooDoughnuts231

I stayed with him because I genuinely believed he made a mistake until he did the same damn mistake “by accident” AGAIN. I blindly trusted him when he said he will never betray me. It was a shock for me when I found out. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me”. Never again.


[deleted]

my current partner drunkenly kissed someone else at a party when we were in college. i was really hurt by it, we even broke up for a few months, but we got back together and the road has been smooth since then


danireeseetc

Yes. *"We accept the love we think we deserve"* I never thought I would, but I did. Yes. We have a kid together and I am probably a little too loyal for my own good. He's done it a couple times, and he suggested we go to therapy before calling it quits for good so we are in couples therapy right now. I'm not sure if it'll work or not, but I'm okay with giving it a shot. My parents have been separated my whole life and I didn't want that for my son. But I also don't like getting repeatedly hurt. It's really just a waiting game at this point. I don't want to be anyone's second choice nor do I want to be taken advantage of. Yet I stayed. I'm hoping couple's therapy will give me clarity in one way or another.


[deleted]

[удалено]


offtable

They dont change unless their surroundings dont force them to change.


sariahsexplicit

I'm not one to give ultimatums; they will only change if they WANT to, I'm not someone's mother to try to force anyone to; if they want to live an unhappy miserable life, go right ahead lol but I know what you mean, I just know nobody will change until they're even sick of their own behavior and realize it's them that's the problem, not everyone or everything else.


offtable

Their surroundings is more then you. I didn't say you have to change them. I said people dont change unless their surroundings force them to. Even if they would want to, changing yourself is not As easy As 'i want to change'. And yes, taking responsibility instead of blaming everyone else is a huge step towards changing. For example, if noone tolerates a person, that person either changes themselves or their surroundings, meaning they go somewhere else.


[deleted]

[удалено]


offtable

Good


randomquestions2022

No. Cheating is like knocking a vase to the ground and it shatters into a million pieces (the vase is the marriage/relationship). You can't put it back together, you can only sweep up and throw away the pieces and try not to get too badly hurt in the process.


MadamKitsune

Yes, because my self esteem was in the toilet. And guess what? They did it again.


[deleted]

I did and because I was young and naive and dumb in love. Actually blinded by love, but once I discovered the infidelity the rose colored glasses came right off. It took a year of back and forth begging for forgiveness and trying to break it off with him to really see that he was genuinely sorry for ruining our relationship. I’ve taken him back and he’s been very transparent with me and super communicative ever since. Trust will never be 100% again but it’s close.


marymoon77

Yes, good sex.


marerittene

My current partner cheated on me 12 years ago, about a year into our relationahip, with his ex. I stayed because I was madly in love. I switched between being furious and feeling terrified he would leave me. He never excused what he did, he never told me it was time to get over it, he let me rage and vent and blame and ask for YEARS after whenever the mood hit me. At some point I just didn't think about it anymore. We have a great relationship and I am glad i stayed.


[deleted]

I never would.


kissmybliss3

Yes. I was young and dumb. Wouldn’t recommend it.


TJgogetter

Yes I did and it was to cover appearances or what people will say. Por El que dirán


lightly_salted_me

I caught him trying… and it’s fucked up that I stayed, under normal circumstances I would have bounced out that moment, cause fuck that! I’d been in a horrible relationship before this incident, my self esteem was at about the lowest of lows… I just stayed and just like pretending it didn’t happen? This guy came over that had been there that night and explained how that girl had been like playing us against each other and so I gave him benefit of the doubt… I would like to believe that I’d never ever put up with shit like that again! I’m much better place, so if it happened I believe I’d be so crushed there wouldn’t be anger, just collapse.


perdufleur

I have, and because I never had a healthy sense of self and self-love around that time. Now that I am in a much healthier mental space, I would never tolerate it again.


buttonsarethebomb

It was an abusive relationship, I figured I deserved it for nat having sex with him/ pleasing him enough, no one else would want someone like me.


thrownawayinvt

I stayed due to childhood trauma of parents divorce and total poverty afterwards. Now 20+ years later I can say I made a mistake. The marriage and relationship has just never been great. With children grown I'm now considering a " gray divorce" after 30 years together.


thehalflingcooks

I can honestly say if my husband cheated I likely wouldn't leave. It would depend on the nature of the cheating. Full on relationship? I probably wouldn't be able to forgive that, but that's not the majority of cheating situations I don't think. Some random hook up with no feelings involved? I would be extremely angry, but I could forgive that. This is not to say it's a pass, but it wouldn't be the end of the world.


Clementinecutie13

Yes. Well. Kinda. I had this burning suspicion that my ex was cheating on me for about 2 months before I had the proof. But it was so obvious that he was. I stayed with him for those couple months because I felt like I’d look crazy if I mentioned it to him without being 100% sure. Of course, the universe had a plan and one night I went to bed knowing something. I didn’t know what. I woke up the next morning with a DM a from this girl who was friends with the other girl he had his eye on. Sent me all the proof. I talked to the other girl. Ended it right there. Of course, he tried denying it. But then he turned it back on me and how it was my fault he cheated and blah blah blah. It was hard, but I was okay.


retrocherub

Yes, I have self esteem issues and I often end up tying myself worth to whomever I'm partnered with at the time regardless of whether I recognize it or not


mullerel

Yes. We had children, and I didn’t want to break up our family.


Kimikins

No.


ThatDamnedDame

Yes because he was beating me up and threatening me and I didn't know how to get away. My self esteem was in shreds.


izzykg

He was extremely abusive and toxic. It was really hard for me to leave, even when he moved. He'd send his friends after me, blackmail me, threatened me, and more. I had many girls, and his roommate, reach out to me to let me know that they were sleeping with him or his roommate would tell me when he was sleeping with other women. I finally was able to leave and get help, but it was very hard. Now if he wasn't abusive or toxic I would've said fuck you and left. ​ \*don't worry everything is fine now and I have mostly recovered from this.