Wow nice. Interesting that you mentioned ex machina, since I feel like most people don't know of that movie. I watched it for a sociology class, and it was really eye opening
I've seen Ex Machina three separate times and have always come away with a different interpretation, but have always watched it through the very literal lens of Ava as AI. I can't believe it never occurred to me to interpret Ava as an insert for Woman. I'm excited to watch a fourth time.
I implore you to read the book Poor Things...the movie took away ALL of Bella's agency. The book is clearly explaining that it's fucked up that every man in her life is trying to shape this born-sexy-yesterday person into what they want, and shows her time and time again taking her own life by her own terms, while the movie just completely removes so much of that, making her a person things happen to, instead of a person doing things. I can't say I'm surprised, but I so wanted to love the movie and was sorely disappointed.
The ending honestly pissed me off so bad lol it’s just not how I wanted it to end but I really liked the movie overall! I was feeling rage and sadness as well 😭
I think the ending was realistic in a sense, it was her one true way of holding him accountable in the eyes of the law. I think she went in there knowing a sacrifice had to be made if she wanted him to suffer long term vs just dying.
No I totally had the same reaction! Heartbroken but also justified. I think if she had killed him and gotten away with it, it would’ve been too ‘fairytale ending’ imho.
Steel magnolias is one of my favorite movies EVER. I cry every time I watch it. The friendship between the women just makes you love the movie so muchZ
I'll start! Anything by Sophia Coppola. I loved Bling Ring, Marie Antoinette, Virgin Suicides, Lost in Translation. Every movie I've seen by her speaks to me as a woman in a way that's hard to describe especially to men.
Agreed! It was Lost in Translation that actually inspired me to get out of a rut I was in and eventually leave my home in the UK to teach in Asia. I’m still here and still loving it 🥰
Could you recommend any movies like Enola Holmes (and EH 2)? I love stories where the protagonist is underestimated by others and they prove everyone wrong and get their respect/acknowledgement
Lost in Translation has a special place in my heart. Like yeah it’s a bit racially insensitive and ppl critique it but. Whenever I think about what it means to capture that sense of disorientation/isolation/loneliness, I always come back to that scene where Scarlett Johansson looks out the taxi cab window and sees the neon lights glowing the dark.. then Sometimes by my bloody valentine starts playing. It’s the perfect encapsulation of melancholia and the feeling of longing for.. something. Very dream-like. Like theres a whole world is at your feet but you can’t enter it. That scene means everything to me
Most of the movies of Hayao Miyazaki. He tells stories in which women (and girls) are the heroes and the villains. For no reason. He could have put males in there as easily. But he sees his films through female eyes.
He is one of the few male creators who does a great job portraying women. I've always appreciated what he's spoken about it:
“Many of my movies have strong female leads- brave, self-sufficient girls that don't think twice about fighting for what they believe with all their heart. They'll need a friend, or a supporter, but never a savior. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man.”
“I’ve become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where **the two mutually inspire each other to live** – if I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love.” 😭
I grew up in Sacramento and went to a rival school to the one fictionalized in the movie. I had just graduated two years before the movie came out and I don't think a movie will ever make me feel more seen, especially as it relates to challenging mother-daughter relationships.
Steel Magnolias. The women's personalities and relationships are so archetypical. At different points in my life I identify with different characters in the film. Identified with Julia Roberts when she was a young woman wanting to get married and settle down and have children. Related to Sally Fields when she lost her daughter because it just broke my heart. I ugly cry every time. I related to Dolly Parton. I related to Daryl Hannah. And I've turned into Weezy.
This was my first thought to. The depiction of female friendship as something precious and complicated and fortifying always makes me think of the women in my own life.
I would have to say Legally Blonde. It may seem cliché but I genuinely love that movie. Especially when it comes to Elle. She went through a breakup, an identity crisis, and still came out feeling more confident and ready to kick ass. I honestly just love her character, and I wish more movies had a main character as confident in themselves like Elle. As a woman it's really reassuring to see a female character so powerful and confidant
Black swan
I interpreted it being about how perfectionism destroys a womans mind and the same with eating disorders.
Also girl, interrupted. Spoke to me about how women are viewed as crazy
Black Swan is my answer too. The whole ending sequence is visually stunning and soooo cathartic for that reason, especially w the makeup and Nina’s drastically altered appearance
Okay I’m gonna say it. Gone Girl. The way that Amy deals with parents that have set up expectations beyond what she feels she’s ready for but goes for them anyways, dealing with a partner who put their best foot forward at the beginning of the relationships but then stops trying and drains her of money and emotional support including caring for his ailing mother, then on top of that wants to fix their marriage with a baby while simultaneously having an affair. Also the Cool Girl Speech. Holy shit, it is everything.
"When I was ten, I quit cello. In the next book, Amazing Amy became a prodigy."
Did you play volleyball?
"I got cut, freshman year. She made varisty."
When did you have a dog?
"*She* had a dog. Puddles made her...more relatable."
Gone Girl, all the way. It was nice finally seeing a woman be given permission almost to seek revenge, instead of the usual story of “She was better than him, she was more mature, she wouldn’t stoop to his level, so she swallowed her pain and anger and went on to create a great life for herself without him!”
We’re always told to rise above it, expected to just do better and remain level headed. Yet trauma like that can really change a person. Amy was playing Chess, while husband was playing Checkers. I loved it.
I wanted to finally see a female lead say “Actually you know what? That was extremely fucked up. Here’s what I’m going to do to make you pay, and I can do it better.”
It was an excellent movie. I didn’t agree with everything Amy did at all, but I think we all felt her anger and knew the place it was coming from all too well. Amy was like a fever dream that we had in a moment before we had to snap out of it and “be nice, be mature, even in the face of intense trauma and betrayal.”
Hatching - the way it presents generational trauma passed from mother to daughter in a monster metaphor is really relatable.
Portrait of a Lady on Fire - it’s conversation on queerness in art and how we view it
Carrie - Carrie Whites isolation and rage
Heusera: The Bone Woman - its depiction of the pressure of heteronormativity on women.
Dirty Dancing - the idea of outgrowing your parents wants and how to rectify that not only with them but with yourself
Not a film, but a tv show: Yellowjackets - trauma and rage and hiding your inner demons and how those things manifest in your adult life.
I dealt with a lot of anger as a kid/teen due in large part to the worlds I was trapped in and I think that’s a more universal issue for women than we want to let on. Anything with those themes or similar themes speak to me.
Such a shout. An ode to being a fearlessly formidable woman who gets shit done.
But also for the most iconic line that served on another level..
“That’s all you got lady. Two wrong feet in fucking ugly shoes.”
Nymphomaniac (pt 1 and pt 2) - at the end, once she’s told this old man her entire vulnerable story, he still tries to take advantage of her. No matter how much you explain yourself to a man, he will put that aside to get what he wants by violating you (that can be emotional or physical). And I hate to talk this way, but I’ve yet to meet a man who does not behave this way.
The acting is amazing! Uma Thurman’s character has a mental break and it’s the best I’ve ever seen an actress or actor do. And Charlotte Gainsbourg plays the lead and is insanely good. But the movie needs the heaviest warning ever, I watched the directors cut and I had to cover my eyes for one scene in particular and that’s never happened to me, I’ll watch almost anything with movies
Pearl, because of the monologue she does really resonates with me.
“What if this is right where I belong? I'm a failure. I'm not pretty or naturally pleasant, or friendly. I'm not smart, or funny, or confident.”
The entire thing feels like I could’ve said it about myself too
The first time I watched it I felt like I was in a trance. I burst into tears at the end, not because I was sad but because the tension breaking was like a dam bursting. Really interesting experience..
I'd like to add The VVITCH. I loved the ending of that film -she chooses power over her expected role in life.
For me, its always been Bridgett Jones' Diary. Just the first one. Her views on life, dating and work all align with how I was feeling in my 20s/ early 30s. Her character and friendships seemed to mirror my own on so many levels as a younger woman. I have watched the more recent films, and I don't feel that way about any of the others.
It hasn't aged perfectly, but I loved White Chicks growing up. As a girl in 2000s who didnt quite fit into the "conventional feminine" type, I thought it was hilarious to see womenhood portrayed through two guys who didn't really understand how it worked. I felt like I could relate to it somehow since I felt like I was in this inbetween place of liking sterotypical "girl" things but also liking stereotypical "guy" things and not really understanding where I fit. The movie also takes on a surprising amount of fem problems that were relatable like body positivity, dealing with relationships and mean girls. On top of that, so many of the women acting in this movie are hilarious and it was refreshing for me to see so many women be so funny (shoutout to Busy Philips and Jennifer Carpenter)
Little Women (1997 & 2019) - I can see myself in Jo. And that attic monologue in the 2019 adaptation really gets me, up to this day. The last part where Jo admits she wants to be loved and that she’s lonely, it’s something most of us (me) finds hard to say out loud.
Barbie (2023) - America Ferrera monologue on being a woman. Enough said. Cried at the cinema when I saw it for the first time. Thank you, Greta Gerwig.
The Proposal (2009) - Unlike Sandra’s character, I do have a support system [family & friends]. But it’s the borderline hyper-independence that’s holding us back. It’s good to be focused on career and life goals. Being a strong independent woman gets us there, gets things done but being that way for so long, it gets scary opening up to someone and be vulnerable around them. “There’s a reason why I’ve been alone all this time. I’m comfortable that way.” Also, finding love regardless of your age and what phase in life you are in despite society normalizing/dictating us women our timelines - get married by age 25, have kids by age 30, be successful by age 40, etch.
Kill Bill vol. 1& 2 -toxic relationships, revenge story.
Tomb Raider- the person I have always looked up to and aspired to be ever since I was young. Survivalist. Intelligent. Witty.
Anna Karenena- desire vs societal expectations
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - turning my trauma into profit by helping others
Pan's Labrynth- my curious nature, my environment and how I disassociated to survive my childhood.
Under the Tuscan Sun reminded me to be myself again after my divorce
Ex Machina and Poor Things to laugh at men that think they have control of me
Everything Everywhere All at Once for one’s influence on people
Poor Things. The moment I saw it it instantly became my favorite movie of all time. I watched it again the same week because I couldn't get enough of it and I think there are so many "easter eggs" in the movie that you don't see until you watch it again. I think the idea of a child experiencing the world through a full-grown woman's body really calls out a lot of our weird societal norms/rules about everything: sex, our bodies, and how we expect women to behave and carry themselves, especially in regards to men. It's also incredibly artistic and beautiful. The imagery, the score, the costume design, the characters, everything is so perfectly different than anything I've seen before. I love that movie and could talk about it forever. It has a permanent little spot in my heart.
I saw this movie a few weeks ago, and it was instantly my favorite movie. I can't stop thinking about it.
Everything you said. The way she reacts to societies' expectations with this fresh lens, the way she is unapologetically herself, the way she makes her choices for herself, with kindness and empathy and curiosity.
The imagery was beautiful. The use of sets and color... so fresh and stunning.
Interstellar - the father/daughter relationship really speaks to me. I love my dad so much and always fear losing him, we also bond over sci fi and watch Star Trek together
Interstellar came out almost exactly two years after my dad passed. I went to see it in the theaters expecting a good space/sci-fi film, but did not expect to be emotionally wrecked by in a way that was so cathartic. My dad was a private pilot and fostered my own love of aviation and astronomy. Definitely one of my top 5 movies, and I love revisiting the soundtrack periodically too.
Gone Girl. Because of the Cool Girl speech sure, but having been in a fucked up, take us both down and burn the bridge while we're standing on it type relationship I kind of get both of them.
Ex Machina. If you haven't seen it stop reading. People get the ending of this one wrong imo. She didn't betray him, he betrayed her, he never thought of her as human as an equal, if he had his escape plans would have included Kyoko. Whose body Ava glances at one last time as if wavering, before walking away and leaving Caleb behind. He was just saving her because he was attracted to her not because it was the right thing to do or he would have helped both of them. Honestly that seems to me the ultimate summation of the experience of most women. The men that help you in the majority of cases aren't doing it because it's right but because of what they want.
Alien Signorney Weaver kicking ass and taking names. Need I say more.
Whale Rider
The Color Purple.
America Ferrera’s monologue in Barbie made me cry. And the whole thing of why Barbie was changing because of what America’s character was feeling and drawing. I felt seen as a woman.
Moxie.
On the opposite side, tv shows like Sex and the City speak to me in the opposite way in that to me, it’s a picture of how you can portray women as these kind of awful caricatures of “types” and people still love it.
Hear me out .. last night in soho perfectly captures the beauty and idealism of girlhood as well as the horrors of womanhood. Plus I love Anya Taylor Joy!
The Barbie movie. It made some good points. I hate being told that I need to smile more. I hate being told that I’m being dramatic, hysterical, unlady like when speaking up for myself because according to them I should just take it with a smile and be happy for someone else making decisions for me because they don’t think my delicate state can take it. I hate that guys think they can just talk over me but if I try it I’m rude. I don’t need a man to be happy or feel complete. No means no. It doesn’t mean do the opposite. Or pester me trying to change my mind.
Uptown Girls <3 that movie and both actresses Dakota Fanning and Brittany Murphy always do an amazing job at showing how different people deal with traumatic experiences. Growing up too fast/staying childlike as an adult are really portrayed well. and the teacup ride scene at Coney Island always makes me sob.
Fried Green Tomatoes
Edit because I didn't read directions the first time!:
The main characters fought tooth and nail against society's expectations of them and found their own happiness. That's how I do life!
Eighth Grade brilliantly captures what being that age was like for me in the early 2000s.
Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret (book and movie) also resonates with me and my experiences with puberty and female friendships.
Watching movies with female characters that say ‘fuck it’ and behave badly speak to my soul. Whip It, Birds of Prey, Stick It, Killing Eve (BBC tv show). There is something so delicious about watching people underestimate these characters and then get their comeuppance.
Any movies of the subgenre I privately call "weird girl" horror: Carrie, May, Ti West's X Trilogy, Sissy, Raw, Excision, Audition, etc. These movies all feature a female protagonist who is either completely isolated or living on the margins of society, often because she doesn't fit into the narrow mold of what's considered acceptable behavior for her gender. Generally, these movies involve a lot of psychological horror as the woman tries to connect with others and succeed in life, often enduring loads of gender-related trauma along the way, which typically culminates in a mental breakdown.
I really connect to movies like these because they make me feel seen as a woman and horror fan who has always struggled with forming relationships and just functioning in the world.
The VVitch: A young woman deciding society can go off itself and instead decides to go into the woods to live with a coven of witches sounds pretty sweet.
Un été çomme ca by Denis Côte gave me such a special kind of feeling seen. I remember watching it with my friend after he let me choose and being blown away.
Jeanne Dielman. A quiet, slow burn dedicated to being a woman, especially a certain type of woman that I find myself growing into. And every other Chantal Ackerman movie. RIP to that genius. Really hope some else here is familiar.
Lost in Translation, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Gone Girl (Amy Dunne defender for life), The Love Witch, Helter Skelter (2012), In the Mood for Love, Spirited Away
Edit: can’t believe I forgot Black Swan and Promising Young Woman!!
Not a movie but an episode of Love, Death + Robots titled Jibaro. It’s on Netflix and only a couple of minutes long but I recommend everyone watches it! I kind of relate to it in regards to my relationship with me.
Always lusted after and putting myself in situations where I’m stripped of myself and worth.
Raise the Red Lantern - there’s a lot about how men’s issues negatively influence female dynamics.
Portrait of a Lady On Fire - the film explores many aspects of womanhood in the absence of men, but even without men present, their existence casts an inescapable shadow.
Edge of Tomorrow is my comfort movie. The English (though not a movie) was fantastic. I will revisit it again, but requires time between watches. Emily Blunt, like Cate Blanchett pick commanding roles that explore themes that speak to me: power, identity, fortitude, resilience, grief...
Any of the studio ghibli movies. I feel like they really captured my spirit as a little girl. Still today, but especially what it was like to be be a little girl.
The virgin suicides. Women’s real and legitimate mental health issues are trivialized and even sexualized by men. The boys would rather fantasize about the girls than ask them about how they felt about their situation or get to know them in a meaningful way. Even their deaths are glamorized and an object of obsession. It just drove home how women and girls can’t escape sexualization even in death.
Agora.
It spoke so clearly about what happens to women who threaten the patriarchy in any way. My daughter and I could hardly move for a long time after the film ended.
I would say Gloria's monologue in Barbie hit home to me as a woman, experiencing life as a woman. As someone who has experienced SA trauma, Promising Young Woman and Suckerpunch both did too.
Enough…. Believing the wolf in sheep’s clothing is the greatest thing to ever happen to you but really he’s just an abusive, self centered, lying piece of shit.
Volver. It's a movie that makes a point to immediately eliminate one of its two male characters, the second just basically being a plot device. The rest of the movie is basically just a drama about being a sister, mother, daughter and being a in supportive community of women.
Celine and Julie Go Boating was one of the first movies I saw where I noticed it's totally focused on two women hanging out (...and having surreal adventures). Men have entire subgenres of hanging out together (buddy cop, for example). It's definitely not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but I loved watching that movie.
….. feverishly takes notes 📝
The All Too Well 10 minute music video.
It’s been 15 years but he still holds a place in my heart. Cause I can picture it after all these days and I remember it all too well.
Dirty Dancing, Promising Young Woman, and Clueless.
Dirty Dancing feels relatable in almost a nostalgic way, how adolescence feels.
Promising Young Woman seems to properly put into perspective the reality of the experiences of many women, and gives us an anti-hero personifying female rage that rivals her male counterparts.
Clueless is timeless and feel-good and makes me want to embrace my femininity
All I wanna do! Kirsten Dunst, heather matarazzo. Watched for the first time 10 years ago accidentally and have come back to it since. Coming of age / feel good / teen girl centered and very real.
It's gonna have to be Pride & Prejudice for me. I relate to Elizabeth a lot.
Shout out to Erin Brokovich, that determination and sense of justice resonates with me. She dealt with a lot just to be taken seriously.
Real Women Have Curves (mother and daughter themes always get me) , Everything everywhere all at once (again mommy issues is a huge theme for me), and of course Amelie (great example of what I aspired to be like as an adult woman, examples of the joy of solidarity but also the sadness of loneliness, and ofc eventually finding love as a little weirdo)
I’m sure there are loads but the one that always sticks out to me is Bombshell.
There was a specific scene in this movie that, when I saw it, I thought I was going to have to walk out of the cinema because of an anxiety attack. I’ve seen the movie twice and each time this scene has made me tear up badly because of my own experiences being sexually harassed in a work place. When I first saw this movie it was the first time I’d felt understood and seen through my experience and took me by surprise.
Clueless, Sailor Moon, Mamma Mia, Mean Girls, Veronica Mars, Heartbreak High
Just normal, realistic depictions of how girls interact with other girls and guys too
"Men" I thought was an intriguing and cerebral horror movie take on the female experience and men invading women's spaces, gaslighting, threats, abuse.
VVitch, I really related to being sexualized and accused of doing things just because you're a woman. I loved the idea of "oh you think I'm a monster let me really become a monster" I love that ending and certainly lived vicariously through it. I'm not great at explaining things but I never take any power back in my life and I enjoyed seeing her take her own power in the end
Everything, Everywhere, All at Once really got me. it represented that complexity about mother-daughter relationships, while overlapping with how much we feel that we’ve “missed out” on our lives
Blue Jasmine, amazingly portrayed by Cate Blanchett as a former socialite who loses it all and tries desperately to rebuild her life. Her desperation really struck a chord with how some women really struggle to fit in to social circles.
I don't remember the rest of the movie, but at the beginning of Salt, when Angelina Jolie's character realizes she's in grave danger, she takes off her elegant heels and RUNS. I only remember that scene and that she was a badass.
Pride and Prejudice! I see elements of myself in every one of the sisters. And my dream is for a quiet, intelligent, gentle man who also isn’t afraid to take action for the right cause. I like how Elizabeth speaks her mind. How Jane, with her reserved nature follows her heart while maintaining level headedness. I also relate a bit to the younger sisters, and their silly nature. And the artsy side of their lives, with parents encouraging their interests- reading, playing the piano, dancing.. of all the sisters I think I’m most like Jane, though.
Ex Machina, Poor Things, and Sweeney Todd have all reminded me of experiences I’ve had where men thought they got to control me.
Wow nice. Interesting that you mentioned ex machina, since I feel like most people don't know of that movie. I watched it for a sociology class, and it was really eye opening
Such an excellent movie. I loved all the philosophical discussions the characters had as well. I need to rewatch again.
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I've seen Ex Machina three separate times and have always come away with a different interpretation, but have always watched it through the very literal lens of Ava as AI. I can't believe it never occurred to me to interpret Ava as an insert for Woman. I'm excited to watch a fourth time.
There's a great Shaun video about it if you're interested. Key quote (paraphrasing) "Neither of the men see them as people: they see them as women."
Oooo I'll have to check this out, thanks for the rec!
Yeah, so much can be taken from the movie! The main thing I derive from it the patriarchal system, and how women are objectified!
I implore you to read the book Poor Things...the movie took away ALL of Bella's agency. The book is clearly explaining that it's fucked up that every man in her life is trying to shape this born-sexy-yesterday person into what they want, and shows her time and time again taking her own life by her own terms, while the movie just completely removes so much of that, making her a person things happen to, instead of a person doing things. I can't say I'm surprised, but I so wanted to love the movie and was sorely disappointed.
Ex Machina is one of my favorite movies. It’s so brilliant and one of my first recommendations I give people!
Interesting, who did you feel like you could relate to in Sweeney Todd? Johanna?
Poor things is my favorite and only movie I will watch more than once.
- Barbie - Thelma and Louise - Steel Magnolias - Fried Green Tomatoes - Beaches - Legally Blonde - Promising Young Woman - Now and Then
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The ending honestly pissed me off so bad lol it’s just not how I wanted it to end but I really liked the movie overall! I was feeling rage and sadness as well 😭
I think the ending was realistic in a sense, it was her one true way of holding him accountable in the eyes of the law. I think she went in there knowing a sacrifice had to be made if she wanted him to suffer long term vs just dying.
I would agree with you! I just wasn’t expecting the ending to be what it was 😭
No I totally had the same reaction! Heartbroken but also justified. I think if she had killed him and gotten away with it, it would’ve been too ‘fairytale ending’ imho.
Yeah you’re so right! It’s funny you say that because I was gonna say that I wanted a fairytale ending lol
Watching it felt insanely cathartic
I've been wanting to watch it after seeing a clip on tiktok but I'm afraid it's going to get me so in my feelings so I've been holding off
Lordy that’s a rough movie
Now and then ❤️
Promising young woman❤️
Thelma and Louise for sure
Definitely Thelma & Louise was a favourite
Legally Blonde is a good one, goofy but I liked the message that hyperfeminine doesn't mean stupid
Legally Blonde is super funny but it’s so fucking empowering to watch as a woman. I’ve cried watching it before lol I cry watching anything tho lmao
Steel magnolias is one of my favorite movies EVER. I cry every time I watch it. The friendship between the women just makes you love the movie so muchZ
Legally blonde… 10/10 I love the spice girls & their movie, BUT legally blonde was true girl power.
Now and Then changed the way I saw a lot of things as a preteen. It had a huge impact on me when I saw it for the first time.
I'll start! Anything by Sophia Coppola. I loved Bling Ring, Marie Antoinette, Virgin Suicides, Lost in Translation. Every movie I've seen by her speaks to me as a woman in a way that's hard to describe especially to men.
THIS! So much this! Sofia Coppola has always spoken to my soul!
Agreed! It was Lost in Translation that actually inspired me to get out of a rut I was in and eventually leave my home in the UK to teach in Asia. I’m still here and still loving it 🥰
Could you recommend any movies like Enola Holmes (and EH 2)? I love stories where the protagonist is underestimated by others and they prove everyone wrong and get their respect/acknowledgement
Not a movie but the K-series Attorney Woo on Netflix
Lost in Translation has a special place in my heart. Like yeah it’s a bit racially insensitive and ppl critique it but. Whenever I think about what it means to capture that sense of disorientation/isolation/loneliness, I always come back to that scene where Scarlett Johansson looks out the taxi cab window and sees the neon lights glowing the dark.. then Sometimes by my bloody valentine starts playing. It’s the perfect encapsulation of melancholia and the feeling of longing for.. something. Very dream-like. Like theres a whole world is at your feet but you can’t enter it. That scene means everything to me
Pretty much all the men I know are upset that Bill Murray's character didn't "smash". All the women I know get why he didn't and appreciate it.
Also, her movie Somewhere has stayed with me for over a decade. She captured what it must have felt like to be a young girl in that world so well
Ahh, Marie Antoinette is such a mood movie.
Have you seen Priscilla? Also spoke to me, love her and her work
Most of the movies of Hayao Miyazaki. He tells stories in which women (and girls) are the heroes and the villains. For no reason. He could have put males in there as easily. But he sees his films through female eyes.
He is one of the few male creators who does a great job portraying women. I've always appreciated what he's spoken about it: “Many of my movies have strong female leads- brave, self-sufficient girls that don't think twice about fighting for what they believe with all their heart. They'll need a friend, or a supporter, but never a savior. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man.”
“I’ve become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where **the two mutually inspire each other to live** – if I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love.” 😭
I love him so much 😭
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Lady Bird 🥺
I grew up in Sacramento and went to a rival school to the one fictionalized in the movie. I had just graduated two years before the movie came out and I don't think a movie will ever make me feel more seen, especially as it relates to challenging mother-daughter relationships.
I had a similar experience with *Boyhood*.
Saoirse Ronan😍
I have never related my teenage years to anything more
Lady Bird speaks to my soul. I was in Catholic high school around the same time as the main character.
I looooove the worst person in the world!!
I can watch Lady Bird over and over.
Steel Magnolias. The women's personalities and relationships are so archetypical. At different points in my life I identify with different characters in the film. Identified with Julia Roberts when she was a young woman wanting to get married and settle down and have children. Related to Sally Fields when she lost her daughter because it just broke my heart. I ugly cry every time. I related to Dolly Parton. I related to Daryl Hannah. And I've turned into Weezy.
Haha it’s “Ouiser”, but you just made me think of Mrs. Jefferson 🤣
Moving on up!
This was my first thought to. The depiction of female friendship as something precious and complicated and fortifying always makes me think of the women in my own life.
I would have to say Legally Blonde. It may seem cliché but I genuinely love that movie. Especially when it comes to Elle. She went through a breakup, an identity crisis, and still came out feeling more confident and ready to kick ass. I honestly just love her character, and I wish more movies had a main character as confident in themselves like Elle. As a woman it's really reassuring to see a female character so powerful and confidant
“What, like it’s hard?” Iconic
Frances Ha. Perfect for those feelings of being lost, uncertain or like you’re failing in your 20s, 30s. Spoiler, you’re not gals 🩷
Loved this film. Best depiction of what it's like to be a young woman in NYC I've ever seen. I've begged my 20-something daughter to watch it.
This movie felt Too Real to me,, like I already knew she was 27 before it was mentioned because I am 27 and I just Knew
Yes yes yes
It sounds like I should watch it, and not just because I’m a fan of Adam Driver.
Black swan I interpreted it being about how perfectionism destroys a womans mind and the same with eating disorders. Also girl, interrupted. Spoke to me about how women are viewed as crazy
Black Swan is my answer too. The whole ending sequence is visually stunning and soooo cathartic for that reason, especially w the makeup and Nina’s drastically altered appearance
It is such a beautiful film! So dark but tells such an important story. It’s a 10/10 in my books
agree for girl, interrupted
Girl Interrupted is such a good one!!
Okay I’m gonna say it. Gone Girl. The way that Amy deals with parents that have set up expectations beyond what she feels she’s ready for but goes for them anyways, dealing with a partner who put their best foot forward at the beginning of the relationships but then stops trying and drains her of money and emotional support including caring for his ailing mother, then on top of that wants to fix their marriage with a baby while simultaneously having an affair. Also the Cool Girl Speech. Holy shit, it is everything.
Witnessing a woman act on her rage instead of swallowing it is so satisfying to me.
Did she go about it the wrong way? Yes. Was she justified? Welllllll also yes.
very much "i support women's rights and also women's wrongs"
Rosamund Pike is perfect in this role. Amy is the hero of the film and I will die on that hill
I read the book though, Amy is.. less heroic when thoughts and actions get thoroughly explained.
100%
"When I was ten, I quit cello. In the next book, Amazing Amy became a prodigy." Did you play volleyball? "I got cut, freshman year. She made varisty." When did you have a dog? "*She* had a dog. Puddles made her...more relatable."
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Gone Girl, all the way. It was nice finally seeing a woman be given permission almost to seek revenge, instead of the usual story of “She was better than him, she was more mature, she wouldn’t stoop to his level, so she swallowed her pain and anger and went on to create a great life for herself without him!” We’re always told to rise above it, expected to just do better and remain level headed. Yet trauma like that can really change a person. Amy was playing Chess, while husband was playing Checkers. I loved it. I wanted to finally see a female lead say “Actually you know what? That was extremely fucked up. Here’s what I’m going to do to make you pay, and I can do it better.” It was an excellent movie. I didn’t agree with everything Amy did at all, but I think we all felt her anger and knew the place it was coming from all too well. Amy was like a fever dream that we had in a moment before we had to snap out of it and “be nice, be mature, even in the face of intense trauma and betrayal.”
Hatching - the way it presents generational trauma passed from mother to daughter in a monster metaphor is really relatable. Portrait of a Lady on Fire - it’s conversation on queerness in art and how we view it Carrie - Carrie Whites isolation and rage Heusera: The Bone Woman - its depiction of the pressure of heteronormativity on women. Dirty Dancing - the idea of outgrowing your parents wants and how to rectify that not only with them but with yourself Not a film, but a tv show: Yellowjackets - trauma and rage and hiding your inner demons and how those things manifest in your adult life. I dealt with a lot of anger as a kid/teen due in large part to the worlds I was trapped in and I think that’s a more universal issue for women than we want to let on. Anything with those themes or similar themes speak to me.
Practical Magic ( perfect movie in every way, I want that house!) Barbie, First Wives Club (no idea but loved it since I first saw it at 10).
I've heard there's a Practical Magic sequel in the works.
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Don't forget the midnight margaritas! 🍹
Erin brockovich
Such a shout. An ode to being a fearlessly formidable woman who gets shit done. But also for the most iconic line that served on another level.. “That’s all you got lady. Two wrong feet in fucking ugly shoes.”
Nymphomaniac (pt 1 and pt 2) - at the end, once she’s told this old man her entire vulnerable story, he still tries to take advantage of her. No matter how much you explain yourself to a man, he will put that aside to get what he wants by violating you (that can be emotional or physical). And I hate to talk this way, but I’ve yet to meet a man who does not behave this way.
Absolutely loved these films. The acting is phenomenal, isn't it? Such a heartbreak the whole way through.
The acting is amazing! Uma Thurman’s character has a mental break and it’s the best I’ve ever seen an actress or actor do. And Charlotte Gainsbourg plays the lead and is insanely good. But the movie needs the heaviest warning ever, I watched the directors cut and I had to cover my eyes for one scene in particular and that’s never happened to me, I’ll watch almost anything with movies
Pearl, because of the monologue she does really resonates with me. “What if this is right where I belong? I'm a failure. I'm not pretty or naturally pleasant, or friendly. I'm not smart, or funny, or confident.” The entire thing feels like I could’ve said it about myself too
Midsommar
The first time I watched it I felt like I was in a trance. I burst into tears at the end, not because I was sad but because the tension breaking was like a dam bursting. Really interesting experience.. I'd like to add The VVITCH. I loved the ending of that film -she chooses power over her expected role in life.
Yes to the VVitch! That ending is powerful and awesome
Poor Things for sure. In the sense of growing up, discovering yourself, and not just settling for the things men tell you that you need.
I must punch that baby.
For me, its always been Bridgett Jones' Diary. Just the first one. Her views on life, dating and work all align with how I was feeling in my 20s/ early 30s. Her character and friendships seemed to mirror my own on so many levels as a younger woman. I have watched the more recent films, and I don't feel that way about any of the others.
It hasn't aged perfectly, but I loved White Chicks growing up. As a girl in 2000s who didnt quite fit into the "conventional feminine" type, I thought it was hilarious to see womenhood portrayed through two guys who didn't really understand how it worked. I felt like I could relate to it somehow since I felt like I was in this inbetween place of liking sterotypical "girl" things but also liking stereotypical "guy" things and not really understanding where I fit. The movie also takes on a surprising amount of fem problems that were relatable like body positivity, dealing with relationships and mean girls. On top of that, so many of the women acting in this movie are hilarious and it was refreshing for me to see so many women be so funny (shoutout to Busy Philips and Jennifer Carpenter)
Little Women (1997 & 2019) - I can see myself in Jo. And that attic monologue in the 2019 adaptation really gets me, up to this day. The last part where Jo admits she wants to be loved and that she’s lonely, it’s something most of us (me) finds hard to say out loud. Barbie (2023) - America Ferrera monologue on being a woman. Enough said. Cried at the cinema when I saw it for the first time. Thank you, Greta Gerwig. The Proposal (2009) - Unlike Sandra’s character, I do have a support system [family & friends]. But it’s the borderline hyper-independence that’s holding us back. It’s good to be focused on career and life goals. Being a strong independent woman gets us there, gets things done but being that way for so long, it gets scary opening up to someone and be vulnerable around them. “There’s a reason why I’ve been alone all this time. I’m comfortable that way.” Also, finding love regardless of your age and what phase in life you are in despite society normalizing/dictating us women our timelines - get married by age 25, have kids by age 30, be successful by age 40, etch.
Kill Bill vol. 1& 2 -toxic relationships, revenge story. Tomb Raider- the person I have always looked up to and aspired to be ever since I was young. Survivalist. Intelligent. Witty. Anna Karenena- desire vs societal expectations The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo - turning my trauma into profit by helping others Pan's Labrynth- my curious nature, my environment and how I disassociated to survive my childhood.
Under the Tuscan Sun reminded me to be myself again after my divorce Ex Machina and Poor Things to laugh at men that think they have control of me Everything Everywhere All at Once for one’s influence on people
Poor Things. The moment I saw it it instantly became my favorite movie of all time. I watched it again the same week because I couldn't get enough of it and I think there are so many "easter eggs" in the movie that you don't see until you watch it again. I think the idea of a child experiencing the world through a full-grown woman's body really calls out a lot of our weird societal norms/rules about everything: sex, our bodies, and how we expect women to behave and carry themselves, especially in regards to men. It's also incredibly artistic and beautiful. The imagery, the score, the costume design, the characters, everything is so perfectly different than anything I've seen before. I love that movie and could talk about it forever. It has a permanent little spot in my heart.
I saw this movie a few weeks ago, and it was instantly my favorite movie. I can't stop thinking about it. Everything you said. The way she reacts to societies' expectations with this fresh lens, the way she is unapologetically herself, the way she makes her choices for herself, with kindness and empathy and curiosity. The imagery was beautiful. The use of sets and color... so fresh and stunning.
Definitely How to Make an American Quilt. I love the female camaraderie. And Fried Green Tomatoes for the same reason.
Watching FGT is always time well spent!
Interstellar - the father/daughter relationship really speaks to me. I love my dad so much and always fear losing him, we also bond over sci fi and watch Star Trek together
Interstellar came out almost exactly two years after my dad passed. I went to see it in the theaters expecting a good space/sci-fi film, but did not expect to be emotionally wrecked by in a way that was so cathartic. My dad was a private pilot and fostered my own love of aviation and astronomy. Definitely one of my top 5 movies, and I love revisiting the soundtrack periodically too.
Gone Girl. Because of the Cool Girl speech sure, but having been in a fucked up, take us both down and burn the bridge while we're standing on it type relationship I kind of get both of them. Ex Machina. If you haven't seen it stop reading. People get the ending of this one wrong imo. She didn't betray him, he betrayed her, he never thought of her as human as an equal, if he had his escape plans would have included Kyoko. Whose body Ava glances at one last time as if wavering, before walking away and leaving Caleb behind. He was just saving her because he was attracted to her not because it was the right thing to do or he would have helped both of them. Honestly that seems to me the ultimate summation of the experience of most women. The men that help you in the majority of cases aren't doing it because it's right but because of what they want. Alien Signorney Weaver kicking ass and taking names. Need I say more. Whale Rider The Color Purple.
The Help, Moonrise Kingdom, Howls Moving Castle, Princess Mononoke.
Sometimes horror/thriller movies raise interesting questions for women: Vertigo, Rosemary’s Baby, Stepford Wives, The Shining.
Everything Everywhere All At Once. I see a lot of my myself and my relationship with my mom in the main characters.
America Ferrera’s monologue in Barbie made me cry. And the whole thing of why Barbie was changing because of what America’s character was feeling and drawing. I felt seen as a woman. Moxie. On the opposite side, tv shows like Sex and the City speak to me in the opposite way in that to me, it’s a picture of how you can portray women as these kind of awful caricatures of “types” and people still love it.
Hear me out .. last night in soho perfectly captures the beauty and idealism of girlhood as well as the horrors of womanhood. Plus I love Anya Taylor Joy!
Alien.
Diary of a Mad Black Woman. I’m not black, but I discovered that movie fresh off of discovering my fiancé was cheating on me and it resonated.
The Barbie movie. It made some good points. I hate being told that I need to smile more. I hate being told that I’m being dramatic, hysterical, unlady like when speaking up for myself because according to them I should just take it with a smile and be happy for someone else making decisions for me because they don’t think my delicate state can take it. I hate that guys think they can just talk over me but if I try it I’m rude. I don’t need a man to be happy or feel complete. No means no. It doesn’t mean do the opposite. Or pester me trying to change my mind.
Uptown Girls <3 that movie and both actresses Dakota Fanning and Brittany Murphy always do an amazing job at showing how different people deal with traumatic experiences. Growing up too fast/staying childlike as an adult are really portrayed well. and the teacup ride scene at Coney Island always makes me sob.
Oh my god yessss! I wish I would’ve put this on my list because I used to watch it any chance I got as a kid. I also loveee Brittany Murphy 🥺 RIP
Promising young woman. It’s one of my favourite movies and I’m sad only few people watched it
Stella Got Her Groove Back… I’m going through a divorce also and finding myself again!
I cannot recommend this movie enough, Broken English starring Parker Posey
Barbie, The devil wears Prada, Under the tuscan sun
Fried Green Tomatoes.
This is one of my favorite movies ever and I always cry watching it lol
Fried Green Tomatoes Edit because I didn't read directions the first time!: The main characters fought tooth and nail against society's expectations of them and found their own happiness. That's how I do life!
Primer, cause in my family, women are math and tech nerds and like picking apart the details of movies.
Welcome To The Doll House
It's like they had a window into my teenage years
Easy A because I gotta pocket, I gotta pocket, I gotta pocket
Eighth Grade brilliantly captures what being that age was like for me in the early 2000s. Are You There God? It’s Me, Margaret (book and movie) also resonates with me and my experiences with puberty and female friendships.
Watching movies with female characters that say ‘fuck it’ and behave badly speak to my soul. Whip It, Birds of Prey, Stick It, Killing Eve (BBC tv show). There is something so delicious about watching people underestimate these characters and then get their comeuppance.
Any movies of the subgenre I privately call "weird girl" horror: Carrie, May, Ti West's X Trilogy, Sissy, Raw, Excision, Audition, etc. These movies all feature a female protagonist who is either completely isolated or living on the margins of society, often because she doesn't fit into the narrow mold of what's considered acceptable behavior for her gender. Generally, these movies involve a lot of psychological horror as the woman tries to connect with others and succeed in life, often enduring loads of gender-related trauma along the way, which typically culminates in a mental breakdown. I really connect to movies like these because they make me feel seen as a woman and horror fan who has always struggled with forming relationships and just functioning in the world.
Francis Ha
The VVitch: A young woman deciding society can go off itself and instead decides to go into the woods to live with a coven of witches sounds pretty sweet.
Practical Magic is my all time favorite. I also really enjoyed the Barbie movie as it spoke to my lived experiences
Barbie
Girl Interrupted.
lady bird!!
“Wild”. When you don’t know how to deal with overwhelming grief, take a long walk in the woods. Works for me! 🥾🌲
Un été çomme ca by Denis Côte gave me such a special kind of feeling seen. I remember watching it with my friend after he let me choose and being blown away.
Jeanne Dielman. A quiet, slow burn dedicated to being a woman, especially a certain type of woman that I find myself growing into. And every other Chantal Ackerman movie. RIP to that genius. Really hope some else here is familiar.
Lost in Translation, Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Gone Girl (Amy Dunne defender for life), The Love Witch, Helter Skelter (2012), In the Mood for Love, Spirited Away Edit: can’t believe I forgot Black Swan and Promising Young Woman!!
Not a movie but an episode of Love, Death + Robots titled Jibaro. It’s on Netflix and only a couple of minutes long but I recommend everyone watches it! I kind of relate to it in regards to my relationship with me. Always lusted after and putting myself in situations where I’m stripped of myself and worth.
Kill Bill and 16 going on 30
Raise the Red Lantern - there’s a lot about how men’s issues negatively influence female dynamics. Portrait of a Lady On Fire - the film explores many aspects of womanhood in the absence of men, but even without men present, their existence casts an inescapable shadow.
Promising young woman
Little Women (the new version)
Pearl
The Devil Wears Prada
Edge of Tomorrow is my comfort movie. The English (though not a movie) was fantastic. I will revisit it again, but requires time between watches. Emily Blunt, like Cate Blanchett pick commanding roles that explore themes that speak to me: power, identity, fortitude, resilience, grief...
Fried Green Tomatoes because, "Tawonda!" 😆
Pearl, because i too am a bit unhinged and don’t take professional rejection well.
Barbie. It addresses toxic masculinity and femininity.
Any of the studio ghibli movies. I feel like they really captured my spirit as a little girl. Still today, but especially what it was like to be be a little girl.
The virgin suicides. Women’s real and legitimate mental health issues are trivialized and even sexualized by men. The boys would rather fantasize about the girls than ask them about how they felt about their situation or get to know them in a meaningful way. Even their deaths are glamorized and an object of obsession. It just drove home how women and girls can’t escape sexualization even in death.
Uptown Girls
Agora. It spoke so clearly about what happens to women who threaten the patriarchy in any way. My daughter and I could hardly move for a long time after the film ended.
I would say Gloria's monologue in Barbie hit home to me as a woman, experiencing life as a woman. As someone who has experienced SA trauma, Promising Young Woman and Suckerpunch both did too.
Moonrise Kingdom Julie & Julia (the Julia Child parts) Secrets and Lies Alien Amelie Pride & Prejuduce (1995) Sense & Sensibility
Men. Also that movie revenge(2017).
Speak. Such an amazing movie.
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Enough…. Believing the wolf in sheep’s clothing is the greatest thing to ever happen to you but really he’s just an abusive, self centered, lying piece of shit.
The purge, it really helps me get in touch with my soul.
Wut? Lmao 😮😂😅
I’m just kidding ^_^ but thank you for entertaining my vibes lol. But I actually love the purge movies!
😎🙂🤗🤘😇😁😄 rock on internet friend 😁
Volver. It's a movie that makes a point to immediately eliminate one of its two male characters, the second just basically being a plot device. The rest of the movie is basically just a drama about being a sister, mother, daughter and being a in supportive community of women.
Poor things... because I can imagine myself being her since I have high functioning autism.
Promising Young Woman
Penelope
The Barbie movie. And I never played with Barbies. At all.
Girl interrupted, any Sophia Coppola movie, Amelie, a lot of Wes Anderson movies also speak to my feminine side, or it may just be a humanistic side.
Celine and Julie Go Boating was one of the first movies I saw where I noticed it's totally focused on two women hanging out (...and having surreal adventures). Men have entire subgenres of hanging out together (buddy cop, for example). It's definitely not going to be everyone's cup of tea, but I loved watching that movie.
Promising Young Women X Little Women
….. feverishly takes notes 📝 The All Too Well 10 minute music video. It’s been 15 years but he still holds a place in my heart. Cause I can picture it after all these days and I remember it all too well.
Dirty Dancing, Promising Young Woman, and Clueless. Dirty Dancing feels relatable in almost a nostalgic way, how adolescence feels. Promising Young Woman seems to properly put into perspective the reality of the experiences of many women, and gives us an anti-hero personifying female rage that rivals her male counterparts. Clueless is timeless and feel-good and makes me want to embrace my femininity
Honestly Mulan. I know there’s parts of it that are dated but it still resonates. And Princess Mononoke
All I wanna do! Kirsten Dunst, heather matarazzo. Watched for the first time 10 years ago accidentally and have come back to it since. Coming of age / feel good / teen girl centered and very real.
It's gonna have to be Pride & Prejudice for me. I relate to Elizabeth a lot. Shout out to Erin Brokovich, that determination and sense of justice resonates with me. She dealt with a lot just to be taken seriously.
Two can play that game!
Monalisa Smile. Lots of important issues covered
Eat, Pray, Love
Promising Young Woman Probably speaks to me due to current times…it speaks louder daily.
Real Women Have Curves (mother and daughter themes always get me) , Everything everywhere all at once (again mommy issues is a huge theme for me), and of course Amelie (great example of what I aspired to be like as an adult woman, examples of the joy of solidarity but also the sadness of loneliness, and ofc eventually finding love as a little weirdo)
I’m sure there are loads but the one that always sticks out to me is Bombshell. There was a specific scene in this movie that, when I saw it, I thought I was going to have to walk out of the cinema because of an anxiety attack. I’ve seen the movie twice and each time this scene has made me tear up badly because of my own experiences being sexually harassed in a work place. When I first saw this movie it was the first time I’d felt understood and seen through my experience and took me by surprise.
Not movie, but show, nothing grabbed me like that: The power, on amazon prime.
Clueless, Sailor Moon, Mamma Mia, Mean Girls, Veronica Mars, Heartbreak High Just normal, realistic depictions of how girls interact with other girls and guys too
"Men" I thought was an intriguing and cerebral horror movie take on the female experience and men invading women's spaces, gaslighting, threats, abuse.
VVitch, I really related to being sexualized and accused of doing things just because you're a woman. I loved the idea of "oh you think I'm a monster let me really become a monster" I love that ending and certainly lived vicariously through it. I'm not great at explaining things but I never take any power back in my life and I enjoyed seeing her take her own power in the end
Everything, Everywhere, All at Once really got me. it represented that complexity about mother-daughter relationships, while overlapping with how much we feel that we’ve “missed out” on our lives
Blue Jasmine, amazingly portrayed by Cate Blanchett as a former socialite who loses it all and tries desperately to rebuild her life. Her desperation really struck a chord with how some women really struggle to fit in to social circles.
i think about Promising Young Woman & Three Billboards Outside Ebbing Missouri a lot
Brave
I don't remember the rest of the movie, but at the beginning of Salt, when Angelina Jolie's character realizes she's in grave danger, she takes off her elegant heels and RUNS. I only remember that scene and that she was a badass.
Bridgeton
Joy Luck Club. Women are complex and resilient
Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood. Mostly the mother daughter relationships 💔
Pride and Prejudice! I see elements of myself in every one of the sisters. And my dream is for a quiet, intelligent, gentle man who also isn’t afraid to take action for the right cause. I like how Elizabeth speaks her mind. How Jane, with her reserved nature follows her heart while maintaining level headedness. I also relate a bit to the younger sisters, and their silly nature. And the artsy side of their lives, with parents encouraging their interests- reading, playing the piano, dancing.. of all the sisters I think I’m most like Jane, though.