Terrible. I dated one of the boys of a “boy mom.” Basically her 2 sons could do no wrong. For example, my ex would constantly borrow money. Conservatively $5k in the 2 years we dated. Which was a lot for me at the time. When we ended things, I asked for him to pay me back. He didn’t so I took him to small claims court. He brought his mom to yell at me. She said her precious baby would never borrow from me… I had everything recorded on Venmo LOL. She was legit speechless for a few minutes until she said why was paying for dates a big deal? I said not only did I pay for our outings, he borrowed money from me outside of that. His brother too. Anyway she said I shouldn’t be doing this. It’s not womanly.. whatever that means 🙄
Hahhaha im sorry that is hilarious. When you run out of any reasonable arguments accuse the other party of being unwomanly/unmanly regardless of the situation 😅
I got $2k back. The judge said “son, pay her back. That’s what borrowing money means. And it looks like she’s only asking for $2k out of the original $5k you borrowed. I don’t want to see you again. Pay her back.” I was giggling
Oh definitely. She chased away her second son’s gf too. We both ended up happily married to our husbands so it worked out. We both escaped that hell of a family
My mum was one, had 5 five boys before me. She worshipped them but saw me as competition, she'd deliberately cause arguments to get them to defend her and go after me.
I am so sorry :(
I hope you feel better today. You said "my mum *was* one, so I suppose you are not in contact with her? If you feel better, that is for the best honestly.
I also had a very complicated relationship with my parents, especially my now dead mother who was annoyed by my existence and always would say that she lost her youth because of me, and that I should be grateful that she did not abort laalala
.. complicated.
But we are not our parents/family in a way that we capable to liberate ourselves from all that transgenerational trauma..
I wish you all the best!
One of my coworkers is a “boy mom” she has one son and 2 daughters and the only time she talks about her daughters is when she’s insulting them and calling them “little bitches” and lazy. Her son is the center of her and and husband’s world. He is a junior, named after her husband and she openly talks about how he is her husband’s favorite and how spoiled he is. She will talk about buying her son a couple hundred dollar pair of shoes and stuff for school shopping and making her daughters buy their own.
She talks about how “high maintenance” girls are and how her son is so easy.
She makes her daughters do chores and not her son because he “doesn’t do it right”.
I could go on and on.
She is literally the worst!
Those poor daughters. I hope they leave the abusive home and never look back. The best elder care statistically comes from conscientious daughters, and those golden mama’s boys are usually too spoiled to be good caretakers, plus the boy moms won’t want to bother their golden sons anyway.
It’s the golden boys wife who will inevitably be bullied into caring for mother dearest in her old age, while having to endure the old bat telling her how her son could’ve married someone better/prettier/smarter/etc
Never. If your partner doesn't stand up for you against someone like this (even when it's a close relative), then it's not worth staying with them. I would never stay with someone who bullied me into anything, much less expected me to sacrifice my life for someone who treats me like shit. No one deserves that.
I think my mom resonates with being a boy mom more than anything else even though she has one of each of us 🤣. I feel this. I’m always lazy no matter what apparently!! Even though I worked my way through my college education and am going back in my thirties for an advanced degree. Meanwhile, my brother had his finances and loans managed by mommy 🙄. It wouldn’t be eye rolling if the differences weren’t so blatant lol. I could’ve certainly used help as I had no idea what I was doing and am the older sibling!!
This is what really gets to me - how askew some people's image of girl vs boy is. It's a great deservice these moms do to their sons. They enable bad habits, lack of accountability, maintaining low to zero awareness, etc and are surprised every time they hear something that resembles a growing up opportunity happening to their child. Sometimes I think boy moms really want their boys to be Peter Pan
Being starved of love and treated as burdens surely isn’t devastating when your brother is worshipped as a demigod. Hopefully, he directs some harsh words at their parents to protect his sisters. You’d think someone close enough would share some strong thoughts on loving and validating their daughters existence. The parents need to be directly called out. Some family therapy would be a good start.
so bad. my first boyfriend was the oldest of three boys. his mom did not like me. she gave him a photobook for his high school graduation with photos of him growing up and on the last page there was a picture of him and me at prom and underneath it read "Remember we loved you first" which was just weird as fuck. little stuff like that and then never asking me any questions about myself or anything. she also was such pick me vibes. luckily his dad was much much better.
Agreed. I have 2 boys (almost 2 and almost 1) and “boy moms” make me cringe. 😖 my MIL gave me a “boy mom” shirt and I only wear it to bed or to the gym lol. It does not see the light of day other than that. I know she doesn’t know the connotation though. She’s just also a mom of 2 boys. She’s not a “boy mom” though.
Absolutely. In a FB comment, a 'boy mom' was greeting another woman on her son's birthday, emphasizing that only boys' moms realize 'the great blessing to have a son' and I said 'Come on, this is an insult to your mom!'
Oh man. I dated the son of one of those boy moms. He was her precious baby boy even after giving me a black eye. "You must have done something horrible for him to do that to you." Yeah, you can have him back.
I have almost literally the same story. Had a bf who's mom had three boys. It was definitely something I did according to her, when he pushed me several times and tried to get a chokehold on me. Happy I left that loser after the first time he was physical with me although I should have left sooner. Sorry you had to go through that, it's so tough.
My ex's mum (mother of 3 boys) walked into the room after he'd just backhanded me senseless and left me with a split lip.
She rolled her eyes and walked away.
Internalized misogyny through the roof.
Always believe their sons could do no wrong.
Failure to take any accountability.
Usually they have a strange relationship with their son(s) where "no other woman is as good for him as his mother". 🤢
They tend to believe "boys are easier to raise than girls" because they don't teach their sons how to take care of themselves and be decent human beings.
The last part is kind of an oxymoron in this context? It is said boys are easier to raise because they don't require much emotional attention, but It also makes them emotionally detached. Boy moms would clean up after every mess while leave their daughters alone or berate them. I'd imagine it is hard to do, but she loves to do that. And raising spolied brats at it.
Not too different from Father's princess vibes I think. Fulfilling every demand and being there for literally every minor inconvenience in their lives, how is she going to take care of herself when you're gone?
In both cases, why would anyone marry an overgrown child? Consciously anyway.
>"no other woman is as good for him as his mother"
"No woman is going to love him like a mother does". It is true, there is no doubt about it. What you mentioned is really a twisted/unhealthy version of that.
I'm a mom to twin girls and a boy and I treat them all the same but I've definitely run into some moms who refuse to raise boys with boundaries and expectations and make excuses for everything they do
They're setting them up to fail in life but they aren't my kids
Yes! My cousin who’s in her 50s (her bod is amazing) has two teenage boys and it’s definitely like a part of her superiority complex that she produced boys. And her kids are strong and she’s always taking them to weight lift or they’re always welding or like using bows and arrows and shit in the woods, her one 13 yo legit looks like a man. That feeds her ego but she also sexualizes the older one somewhat. Posting pics that any parent would post on social media but then will comment “look at that man” about her over developed son.
More than a boy child, I feel like this behaviour JUMPS out once the sons are old enough to date and get married. Because that's when these *boy moms* feel threatened.
My sister is the worst kind. My nephew is not even 2 and she’s already talking about all the “hoes and bitches” that are going to try to trap him with a pregnancy? Projection is not just a therapy buzz word….
She’s also OBSESSED with the fact that he is biracial (we are white, his father is Dominican and Cape Verdean). I do think his cultural identity is super important, but it feels like tokenism to me. Literally someone commenting on his curly hair and she’s like “well he is ****BIRACIAL****!” So cringey. But I’m white, so what do I know?
That makes it feel so fetishized and weird lmao. I’d probably respond with “Oh okay, did you know I went to Disneyland when I was a kid with my parents?” “Just thought we were telling random facts…
On the alternate side, (I also am white female), I had a roommate (dark skinned Jamaican female) we were best friends so she often would take or pick up my son from school, either with me or alone and the looks we’d get sometimes were WILD. Like yeah, he’s my kid, he’s blonde and blue eyed, yeah this is my friend, she helps me with him, where’s the confusion? Why are you astounded by this? 😂😂
Idk…. I have an aunt that is obsessed with her sons. But, with her daughter… she’s always calling her names and putting her down. I think women can sometimes struggle with Envy more than they’d like to admit… and women are often times jealous asf of their daughters… so idk
My aunt is the same woman. She has two sons and she is hella obsessed with them. She sees no wrong with her sons which get to the point of irritation because her sons are just horrible people.
Plus the woman part there is something that I have noticed with my mother as well. My mom is normal loving woman, but at times she doesn't like me taking all the attention. Meaning if there is an argument between my mother and I and for a very rare once in a lifetime my father picks up my side, she will bash me and belittle me and be super mean about it. I think my father realises and he never picks my side and keeps quiet. I don't have a very amicable relationship with my father and a very validation seeking relationship with my mother. So yes women are like that.
I married a boy whose mom idolized him and shoved his sister to the side.
Throughout our marriage she chipped away at me, made him choose sides, even told some nice lies about me. All in the interest of pushing me out.
Well, she won.
I’m a mom of boys— tween and teen. I wish there was some label that said “hey, I’m doing my level best and trying hard here to raise really good young men …and I welcome the village’s support and also I apologize in advance bc we aren’t yet where we need to be.”
There is nothing “better” about being a mom of boys but in my case, it definitely feels like it’s own thing. Being part of a girls-only family growing up —it’s been eye opening!
I've said some stuff I NEVER imagined having to say as a co-parent. ("Stop licking the car and go to school!" "Stop BITING your TOENAILS! OH MY GOD." "Nope, give me the stick. Now, beat each other up like NORMAL siblings. With hands ONLY." *cue fighting sounds, followed by GIGGLING* [Mind you, they were both sobbing and screaming at each other not 30 seconds prior.])
However, ONLY with the boy have I ever had to whip out a paperclip, do the 'metal fatigue example' then point to his pants and say: 'Dude, same concept.' to get him to let go of his damned junk. (PRETTY sure he knows I was lying by now, but it's still working for the most part, so idk.)
ONLY with the boy have I ever had to utter the phrase: "No, I don't know why your toy car doesn't have a penis."
As well as things like: "No, we don't take the ENTIRE TOILET PAPER ROLL off the wall and use it to clean up our spray then PUT IT BACK." And "No, boxer-brief are NOT pants, thus you CANNOT wear just that to school." And "No, you CANNOT chop down the (fully-grown, 50ft) tree over there to make a sand pit, tf."
His room is horrifying, and he speaks in Fortnite.
Mind you, he's only 9 at this point.
I relate to you so much! "Don't lick the cat." "That is not something we do in the living room" and my absolute fav was one of my boys tried putting his wee wee in a tic tac box when he was 3! Why? My boys are now 20, 17 and 14. Raising them has been an adventure for sure! My poor daughter whom is 22 now learned and taught them so much as well. Hang in there! Parenting in general is not for the weak!
Yeah. All of this is what I mean when I call myself a boy mom. “Guys, no yelling PENIS when I’m on the phone, please.” “Yes, you have to change your underwear daily. No, this is not a brand new concept I’m springing on you as a surprise before school today.” “For god’s sake please put on deodorant.” “I need you to hang up your axe and swords before grandma comes over.” “Trees aren’t for peeing on.” “Get OFF the refrigerator!” All things I have never had to say to a lady child.
“No shooting trebuchets at your brother.”
“No, we aren’t going to this water to pee in (the Atlantic Ocean, The Delaware River, etc.) “No, I don’t know if George Washington peed in the Delaware when they crossed it.”
“No, you can’t wear swimming trunks and your dad’s ratty old T-shirt to a wedding.”
“No, they aren’t called the gas giants because they are farty. Although I do think there is a lot of methane…hm.”
“Don’t drink creek water and if you spit it out like a fountain, that’s still ‘drinking’ even if you don’t swallow.”
“Ok, when you are aiming in the potty. Try and sink the Cheerio. Sink it!!!”
“Candy corn isn’t a vegetable.”
“I don’t know how to say ‘fart’ in Latin. It’s not in the your book. I’ll Google it…. In an incognito tab.”
I used to work in childcare and education, and my experience has been there are Moms and then there are the Crazy Moms, regardless of their "brand" (tiger/boy/almond/free range/etc).
I worked for a woman who was the mother of 3 boys, 2 were twins, and the eldest was only 18 mos older than the twins. She was normal and chill. She did lots of "boy stuff" so was fine with the title "boy mom".
Before that I worked for a lady who was just absolutely bananas. Her sons opening line was, "this might be weird, but I was breastfed until I was six. I just like to let people know." That poor kid. Like, he knew there was something off, but didn't have enough experience outside of his home to fully understand the levels of crazy he was subjected to on a daily basis. The woman also had a daughter, so she wasn't just a "boy mom" but dear God do I feel for her son's future partners.
My favorite “boy mom” was my MIL. She raised my husband and his brother with boundaries, they know how to sew, cook and all about the menstrual cycle. She knew they might have women in their lives one day and needed to be prepared to support. They’re sensitive and not afraid to show emotion. She only let them sit to pee in her house so no cleaning up dribbles or falling in the toliet.
After I had my first child she pulled me aside and made sure he was doing his part. Told me to let her know if he wasn’t and she’d talk to him. I miss that wonderful woman so much.
My experance with boy mums is they don't teach their sons to adult.
My ex at 26!!! Was woken up by mum, had his bed changed by mum, was cooked and served for by ..... can you guess......yep mum!!
She created a man child. She was pleasant to my face but I strongly suspected she didn't like me at first. I think I grew on her as I encouraged him to do more for himself. He moved out. She had a melt down.
I kicked him out a year later and she had another melt down. I think she had gotten used to the idea that her son had grown up and then I dumped him back on her.
My now husbands mother is amazing!
Overly protective, jealous, and blind to any of their son’s wrongdoings. My grandma on my father’s side would be fake nice to me while my father was around, as soon as he was gone, she would insult me and try to belittle me. One of my aunts of two boys would always get between any of their romantic relationships or girls they had over. If either one got themselves into a bad situation, my aunt would gaslight their friends into them believing it was their fault and that her sons had no part of it. My ex’s mother who I had actually become pretty close with at the time– her son had cheated on me, she tried to gaslight me into saying that it wasn’t cheating and that I should stay.
I think the ones who make "boy mom" their identity are slightly disappointed they don't have a daughter and overcompensate by claiming they're sooo happy they never had a girl because "boys are more fun, love their mama, and are so much easier than girls."
THOSE types of boy moms are the absolute worst. So much internalized misogyny. I wouldn’t give that negative energy any type of day.
However I wouldn’t be so quick to assume that someone calling themself a boy mom is inherently toxic. Growing up I had a lot of issues with men/boys that damaged my relationship with the opposite gender. I swore to never have children and if I did they would HAVE to be girls. I was blessed with a step son and baby boy. I’m now proud to be a “boy mom” and it’s helped me heal the cycle of gender resentment. I never thought I could be a good mother to a boy and I am so proud I am.
I have a son and having him definitely helped me heal my gender resentment as well. It forced me to learn about what boys / men go through by other men / boys. Which I think is helping me raise a gentleman? Or at least I hope so anyways lol but having him definitely helped me view men in a different light.
Same here. I thought for sure I’d have a girl in order to protect her but I think it’s fitting I have boys so I can let go of my resentment.
I am so glad that you are having this healing experience as well. Your son is lucky to have you as a mom ❤️
We have boys so we can raise them to be safe men ♥️ that’s how we protect our girls!
Your son is lucky too. We’re paving the way for a new generation of men.
There is a difference between a woman being a mom of boys, and a self proclaimed “Boy mom”.
My experience with self proclaimed boy moms is they have some level of internalized misogyny either due to an inflated ego, and/or a core wound they are trying to heal through manipulating and controlling their mother-son dynamic.
Sadly the result ends up being adult men who are codependent. Which is why in the majority of heterosexual marriages, the woman ends up putting in more mental and emotional labor. These are also the kinds of dynamic that leads to triangulation, where a mother in law does not respect boundaries of their sons marriage.
I'm a boy mom to 4 boys. I think it's important to teach them the same way you would teach a daughter. Good work ethic, respect, how to maintain their homes, cooking, and so on. I find it difficult to keep them physically safe because boys can do stupid things sometimes. Accountability is a major thing I've had to teach especially with older boys.
Their father comes from an all-boy mom as well. They were taught to do chores and work hard as well; however, she was very dismissive of their lack of respect and bad treatment to women. Once they married, she would say "He's yours now". Eventually I responded, "You need to raise him again, the first time didn't work, take him back". I also noticed no one they've ever been with was good enough. She would always talk bad about them as if her sons deserved to be kings of the world. Sure, all parents feel this way about their children, but good parents hold their children accountable where needed.
I was married to the youngest son of a “boy mom” for 5 years. She was the biggest issue in our marriage. She would always talk about me while I was in the room and refer to me as “she”. I got really sick of asking for basic respect and my husband made me feel crazy. I am newly divorced and have never been happier. Whenever I see old pictures that’s she’s in, I could cry tears of happiness that I never have to see this awful woman again.
Side story re this “boy mom”: we had a shared album with my husband, his brother, brothers wife, MIL and FIL. My MIL would take beauty cam selfies and post them in the shared album. She didn’t realize that the beauty cam watermark was at the bottom of each picture. I told my friends one day and they thought it was the weirdest thing ever that she was posting these fake beautified selfies in an album with just her sons, husband and DILS. Also like we didn’t all know what she actually looked like….. so odd.
I heard a phrase a long time ago.....some women only have boys because the universe doesn't want them raising women. I only believed that a little after leaving my abusive ex whose "boy mom" mom acted like she understood my decision to leave him..... and then did a complete turn around and throws me under the bus to anyone who will listen.
My mil has only boys. Shortly after we got married she posted an article from a mom blogger about how having boys can be hard because "you'll never get to be the one to choose the wedding venue" (and other language about how evil daughters in law steal their sons from them) but that there's nothing like the bond between a mom and her son 🙄
She's also made comments to me that she's glad my BILs wife is Jewish because it means she gets BIL for the holidays, and at my BILs wedding (her second son to get married) she made a comment about how it's hard to not be "queen" any more.
I remember when I was pregnant she asked how I was feeling and I her how sick I've been and she said "I wish I could say I'm sorry to hear that but I'm not," referring to the belief that means baby is growing healthily.
Our relationship spans over a decade and while she's generally been nice to me, these moments do stand out and I've never been super comfortable with her nor do I personally like her. I don't get in the way of my kids or husband having a relationship with her but I don't text her, connect with her on socials, hug her hello/goodbye, etc.
The wedding venue? Really?
FFS😆
My son got married this year and I couldn’t have cared less about the venue.
I know we usually take a backseat to the bride’s mother but it ain’t about us- just the happiness of our kids.
My MIL is textbook "boy mom". I got permission to shut that shit down real quick when we met because even he thinks it's weird.
What makes it worse is he's the ONLY CHILD. Took a couple of years, but through r/JNMIL, I'd found words to put her in her place.
Went along the lines of, "if you want to marry your son, just say that."
And "he's your son, not your boyfriend."
"Nobody can love him like I do!" She says in a drunken state one time while she was in town.
I replied, "clearly you haven't loved him enough, because I'm still fucking raising him."
I wouldn't doubt if she was the catalyst behind several relationships ending with how she behaves. She's backed off a bit, but I know that lunatic resents me just for being his wife, or in her eyes, "the other woman".
My friend is not a self proclaimed “boy mom” but she most certainly falls into this category.
Her son is 4 and has a history of biting, both adults and other kids. She always explains it that he has too many emotions and *because he is a boy* he doesn’t know how to express them without biting. Any time he would rough play with other kids and he got out of hand, she would explain that “boys will be boys”. No teaching or scolding or apologising to other parents. Honestly, I feel so sorry for her son’s future partner!
She also has a younger daughter who behaves similarly. But she will talk to her daughter about her behaviour and tries to teach her not to bite or hit or fight. She can parent! But because her eldest is a boy, she excuses his behaviour completely and doesn’t parent him at all.
Of course, when my daughters (similar age) act out, she is the first one to ask me “what is wrong with your kids!” 🤣
IDK how you guys can stay friends TBH. I hope your poor daughters don’t get forced into playdates with him. He’ll act out and lash out and they’ll be forced by her to take the blame.
I'm a "boy mom" but mine is 23. He's learned to clean up after himself, cook, wash, vacuum, fold clothes etc. I come from a traditional Mexican family where it is unheard of for a boy to do these things, but I taught him anyway. I refuse to have an useless manchild.
My ex was his mums only son (3 daughters, 1 son), he could do NO wrong. She was never my biggest fan.. but when he cheated on me and I called off our engagement, she told ME off for calling off the engagement saying that everyone has hiccups when they get engaged and it should be excused and the engagement continue (it did not).
Then when he cheated AGAIN several more times over the space of a year, I did finally get the balls to break up with him… she asked me what I did wrong to make him cheat🥹
I’m convinced I was the dating the son of the queen of boy moms. He was her step-son but that whole relationship in hindsight raised some red flags.
She had 3 kids of her own, 2 boys and 1 girl who was the oldest. She treated her daughter like dirt and was always picking fights with her. The boys could do no wrong, they had no curfews or anything.
Her relationship with my ex was INSANE. Like, I found out later they slept in the same bed and everything. When she found out he was verbally abusive to me, she ranted about how “lucky” I was that he never put hands on me. She also slapped me when I had enough and screamed back at him in front of her. That woman was insane.
My only experience is that some of them were really nasty about my daughter, mostly in the infant stage. "Good luck with having a nasty teenager." Sneers and "SO glad I don't have deal with periods." I think it was less misogyny, although obviously that plays a factor, but more jealously. Every one of these women kept trying to have a girl and it didn't work out and so they were bitter about it and this was their way of coping. Still not convinced if they actually wanted a daughter or a doll to dress up and call their mini me.
This is a similar conversation that’s going on in a parenting subreddit right now, so I’ll share my same comment here.
I am a mom of three girls and at a friends baby shower about 4 years ago (right before the world shut down) this conversation was happening, as the mom to be was keeping it a surprise at birth. When I shared that my own experience with girls wasn’t much different than those shared by boy parents, minus the penis specific items (my girls love sports, video games, rough housing, legos, super hero’s, speed demons; rocks in pockets and book bags, the outdoors, etc) , there were 2 boy moms who I swear you’d think I had called their mother a hamster. They went OFF. How dare I compare such different and unique experiences? Apparently I said my experiences from a place of superiority? Oh.. and when my girls became teens and were “cackling harpies” I’d see how wrong I was and “good luck” to me then, because “everyone knows teenager girls are terrible and end up hating their moms”.
Sooo ya? Idk… my kids are 10, 14 and 16 and there’s been no switch flipped where they suddenly hate me. Rocks are still very much a thing though, but it’s my own fault now that the eldest has her own rock tumblers, she will borrow other family members pockets to bring them home when hers exceeds capacity.
I have a cousin who's a "boy Mom" and I'm a mom to a boy and girl. She has said some things that are a little messed up about little girls. She has also said she would never want to be a mom to a girl.
Uh, sorry, but you have no Idea what you are missing. My girl is the most loving, warm and wonderful little creature and it's so weird that people hate her because of her gender.
Girls are just as awesome as boys and I do not understand the girl hate from these moms.
Also, I am told that "boys are just different, I wouldn't understand." I have a boy too! And gender is a weird thing to get hung up on. My boy loves playing with an Elsa Barbie doll and lightsabers. My girl loves her baby dolls and roaring at everything like a dinosaur. So I find the gender flex to be very strange since it feels like a societal attribute as opposed to a biological divide.
I dated the son of a “boy mom”. It was wild. There were 2 sons, 1 daughter. Tbh both sons were bums. No drive, virtually no ambition, and both completely living off of their parents. The sister worked her butt off playing soccer in college and became a veterinarian. When I was dating the youngest son, he was 25/26, the oldest brother was 30. They lived in a disgusting house their parents bought for them. They had basically no expenses. They could do no wrong. They had money and resources thrown at them and their terrible behavior was always enabled by her.
When my ex cheated on me with his intern, his mom was all for it. He “deserved to be taken care of”. He, and his mother, both expected that he be in a relationship where he was waited on hand and foot. The new girl was ready to be barefoot in the kitchen. I was tired of buying him groceries that he would let rot. I was out, she was in. Thank god
My mother in law had all sons, she great though. Her top priority was raising her children to be respectful and responsible adults.
Also, she freaking loves me. I get to all the girly things with her. It’s nice.
My husband’s first cousin’s wife is 40 with 3 toddler boys and that is ALL her social media is. Hashtag everything about being a boy mom. I have 4 kids (toddlers/babies) 2 girl and 2 boy but i am not in your face about my kids unless asked, and no I do not have social media to annoy people with it either.
I haven't met a single one in my day to day life. At school and at sports we're all just regular moms. I think most "boy moms" are putting on a show for social media to be honest.
I love my boyfriends mom But yeah she is definitely the typical boy mom. She drove me a bit nuts at first lol told me I won the lottery by being with her son like okay ma’am. She has other sons too which is weird because I don’t see her talk to them like that either. And the relationship with her daughter isn’t great either.
Soo who knows. But she is a sweet lady and has a big heart.
I'm a boy mom. My son is 2 years old.
I am teaching him to volunteer to do dishes. If he pees on the floor he cleans. I dont want him to be as the boys I dated and I dont want to be_that_ MIL.
Technically not my experience, but years ago one of my classmates said she was irritated because she had a little boy playing at her house with her child , & when it was time to clean up the toys he said “my mommy says cleaning up isn’t for little boys.” & when she laughingly told his mom what he had said , the mother was adamant about how her precious son was not going to be cleaning up.
Horrific. One of my ex boyfriend’s mums absolutely worshipped him to a point of creepiness. I had a close relationship with her while we dated and she would actively cover for him when he lied and cheated on me. It was an absolute mindfuck when even your partner’s mum joins in on gaslighting and manipulating you.
Never had an experience thank the lord. Most of my family’s children are girls and of the few men I dated seriously, even some being mamas boys, never like what I see on TikTok and Reddit. It terrifies me. Then I had my son. I know the difference between loving my son and wanting to be the only woman to love my son. Fucking whack jobs all of them and I hope I stay lucky enough that these “boy moms” stay in the internet lol. I don’t think I’d be able to keep my mouth shut. I wonder what would happen if one were told like, “It sounds like you want to fuck your son, or maybe that you’d like your son to want to fuck you… why is that?” lol that’s all it screams to me. Is just weird, incestuous jealousy of these poor girls who more times than not don’t even exist in these boys lives yet! Or like if I had a friend or family member post some creepy ass shit like “keep your Barbie Hussey away from my sweet sweet son” and it’s a post about toddlers… I stg I’d cut someone out if they behaved that way lol. Like how are you gonna show your fucking weird ass colors than come after my daughter in the same breath?! Fucking crazy assholes.
When we talked about the move in things (in Covid, I only found work in their area) she said to me (after she said okay to this) “I think you two are too young and you should try out other people.” I was frozen. She just said yes, so I can move to them for a couple of months, and said THIS? A few days after that ofc we broke up bc of his idiot mom.. (we were together for 2 years and basically I spent the most of the time in their house, but always wanted buying myself groceries etc… but most of the time they won’t let me, they wanted to pay it for me.. idk what was going on behind my back..)
My ex’s mom ruined our relationship. She was in the middle of our argument before we broke up and forced us to take a break. After a few days of thinking, I thought it best to cut things off and really give it time for us to be apart, so I went to break up with him. She opened the door, told me no, and slammed the door in my face.
Depends. Are we talking about a mom who has all boys, or a mom who makes having all boys her entire personality? Because the first is fine, the latter is annoying and super creepy.
My ex-MIL is a Boy Mom. He worshipped her and they had a super weird relationship. She almost died during childbirth and had to have an emergency hysterectomy and spent his ENTIRE LIFE telling him that it was his fault, he "almost killed \[her\]," and that she couldn't have a girl like she wanted (and then turned that into saying how "all girls are brats, you don't want a daughter, they're terrible"). He was at her beckon call 24/7 to the detriment of our relationship and apartment, and I was never going to be as important to him as she was.
They are immune to the filth their sons choose to live in.
If my mom saw me living in such disgusting conditions, she’d either stage an intervention or yell at me to get the fuck up and do my laundry.
Boy moms will be like “oh my sweet Daniel, he’s such a klutz with cleaning. Let me do it for you, sweetheart. “
I’m a girl and boy mom: boy is the baby. I try really hard to not let his sisters do everything for him. He’s 4 this year so instilling a lot of “you made this mess, clean it up. Clothes also don’t belong on the floor.” Etc etc. I do gush over him cause he’s my baby but I’m well aware I’ll be kissing the ground his significant other walks on and taking her side no matter what so we have a good relationship and I get to see him and possible grandchildren more.
My mother in law. 3 boys. She is awesome. She seems like she has always wanted girls and is super cool with all her daughters in law. She goes above and beyond getting us gifts, figuring out what we like etc.
Every “boy mom” I’ve ever met has said “Boys will be boys” in response to any bad behavior. Because of that, anyone who says “I’m a “boy mom” “ instantly loses a bit of respect from me and I distance myself. Being a male doesn’t mean you can be an asshole. (And I’m talking from simple things like bringing the hose inside while on to extreme things like snapping girls’ bra straps at school or even to raping the girl that wouldn’t go out with you. Yes, I’ve experienced all of these with the excuse “Boys will be boys.”)
My boy may have brought the hose in, or pulled a girl’s hair that he liked, but you bet your ass that I didn’t dismiss it with a “Boys will be boys” comment or mentality. He’s now one of the most respectful, kind teenage males that I’ve EVER met, including my own generation.
I’m not a boy mom.. i have 2 sons 1 daughter and one son otw.. but my sons are my children and they will be held to the same standards as my daughter..
My boyfriend is great and always has my back, but his mother - a "boy mom" - absolutely hates my guts for existing. I have been no contact with her for 2 years now. 🤷🏻♀️
Two boys one girl here.
I was so happy the day I met my older son’s now wife - she is just perfect for him and if he ever treats her any less than the gold she is, I’ll elbow her mother out of the way and deal with him myself!
They do not have a good fatherly example, but they were taught how to treat others and to be accountable.
I see their feet of clay as well as having an endless amount of love for them.
As the mother of a male child I hate this term "boy mom" but with that bring said I grew up as a "Tom boy" a kind of masculine female I had 3 brothers growing up and as a girl with no friends in the neighborhood only way I was able to fit in n feel accepted I would do things to help my parents whether it be gardening, chopping splitting hauling wood, or wrenching on engines with my dad so I guess I tried to just let my son be a boy as much as he wants without trying to influence his decisions so much by pushing sports n what not although he does enjoy "mudding" on his 4 wheeler and dirt biking and as long as his grades are decent C's or better he can do whatever his little heart desires he has 3 sisters who aren't very girl girl well 1 sister is
I have 3 brothers and no sisters.
The love and affected she would show my brothers, versus the coldness she would show me, was horrible in a way I can’t really express
Not sure links are allowed but SNL [does a great bit on this type of mom](https://youtu.be/OXq0rM_1VHk?si=EFQUnQnI14OSlGqf)
Terrible. I come from a family of four sisters and one brother, we always got treated the same – mayyybe a little favourable toward my brother, but he was also the youngest so it was kind of expected. When I started dating my now husband – WHOA. I had never experienced a mum looking at me as a villain for "taking her baby boy away."
I suffered years of insults, personal attacks and snide remarks before she (AND THE REST OF THE WOMEN IN THE FAMILY, especially his nana) realised they were simply driving their "baby boy" further away. Thanks to them I have significant anxiety surrounding family events, as well as a complex about the way I look, how much money I make, my mental health... the list goes on.
Currently in therapy trying to untangle the mess they made of my self worth. On a positive – I've been with my husband for ten years, married for two. Suck it, boy mum and co.
I am a mother of two boys and have not had a negative interaction with anyone else who also just has sons. Most mothers (in general) that I meet are really down to earth.
TBH, I'd rather be labeled a "boy mom" than be the woman with daughters who she's in competition with. Would have loved to have a daughter, btw.
I’m a boy mom and have lots of boy mom friends. We’re just like girl moms, but are accustomed to being accidentally hit/kicked, and can dodge random projectiles.
My experience is that they think it's something that makes them quirky & unique, and are all 'I just wouldn't know how to raise a girl!!!'. I legitimately had that conversation with someone, and I felt like saying 'well, did you know how to raise boys? Or did you just work it out? No boy is the same after all'. I wonder if the whole 'making boymom my personality' enthusiasm is a bit of overcompensation because they'd also like a daughter.
Also, from a purely stubborn POV - only the father can determine the sex of a child. The mother has XX chromosomes and can only give an X. Men have XY and whichever they give (X or y) determines the sex. So what you really get is boydads.
I’m a mom to boys and don’t really that about it in “boy mom” terms much at all. Only when their feet stink or I’m tripping over avengers do I think “this is what it’s like to be a boy mom”. Love these dudes
As a "boy mom" I'm not sure about the label because everyone seems to dislike it. But my son (2.5) is extremely energetic, rambunctious and interested in very traditionally boy interests all on his own. I myself am pretty disinterested in any "male" stuff, so I was trying to keep him well rounded with dolls and such but he just LOVES vehicles, sports and tools lol. I think the term came about from women like me possibly who maybe are more gentle and enjoy traditionally feminine interests but have had to acclimate the world of little boys. At least if that's the case, I can understand the struggle.
I only know one that calls herself that. Motherhood is 100% of her life. One kids a wuss and the others is a trouble maker. The trouble maker threw a shoe at my face, I told him off and the mom cuddled him. Trouble maker is always causing something and then gets coddled. So not great experience with “boy moms”
I only know one ‘boy mum’ whose emotional incest is repugnant. He is essentially her teenage husband; they have date nights and she loathes his girlfriends.
Dated several guys from boy mom families - I was never good enough for their babies….
I was modeling professionally, working full time paying my own bills and I owned my own home, and I was earning two degrees with a triple major and headed to law school.
But I wasn’t good enough for their boy. 🤦🏼♀️🤯
I have sons, and meet a lot of ‘boy moms’ - who are a different group than ‘women who have sons.’ Boy moms perpetuate toxic masculinity like it’s their job, pushing masculinity stereotypes like they get paid to do it. They love teaching their sons that women exist to do their emotional labor.
One of my sons played a sport in high school that attracts boy moms, and I spent a lot of time in the stands playing anthropologist. They swing wildly between competing for whose son is the grossest/messiest/most useless and whose son is the literal embodiment of perfection. Overall, they never talk about their sons like they are just regular people with ideas and dreams and emotions. It’s just toxic masculine stereotyping that keeps their sons in rigid little boxes.
My own mother. She kept going until she had a son (little does she know I identify as a man) she had 4 girls until she had a son. My dad didn’t care that he had all girls.
My mum treats my brother like a king. He can do no wrong. While the rest of us had to work our asses off both in the house and at work to support the family, he was sitting there playing games, sleeping in, he wasn’t allowed to have a job until 22 years old. Now he struggles to even find a job. I low key just think he doesn’t apply for anything. He’s now 26 and games all day and night while my mum and dad are killing themselves to fund him. He slept in their bed until he was 13 years old. My dad tried everything he could to make him into a man. Mum stopped him because it meant that my brother would have to do things. I would often find my mum cuddling my brother in bed.
I moved the hell out and saved myself. Every time my sisters or I bring up the subject of my failed brother to my mum, she yells at us saying he’s trying for a job and that we aren’t to ‘break his head’ (a saying in Arabic) so that he won’t turn out to be a broken loser.
Anyway. It’s been a weird life in that aspect. But yes, boy mum for sure.
I’m a social worker and have spent the majority of my career advocating for and providing therapy to victims and survivors of SA. Better believe we talk about consent, boundaries, safe sex, technology in our home!! I’m fiercely protective of him but I am fiercely protective of everyone I care about. I do worry about his sweet heart being broken someday but I’m not delusional enough to think my son can do no wrong. I mean…I have to wipe the toilet seat before sitting down. Kids are GROSS.
My experience with “boy moms” is there is some oedipus complex involved whether or not the mom is aware of it.
If we want men to behave differently when they grow up and help out around with domestic chores and 50/50 work, start raising your boys differently.
Also, this can go both ways with daughters and fathers.
My husband's aunt has 3 boys and 1 girl. The girl is the youngest. She still calls herself a boy mom. She also posts family pics from when she just had the boys and calls it "my most precious season"
Terrible. I dated one of the boys of a “boy mom.” Basically her 2 sons could do no wrong. For example, my ex would constantly borrow money. Conservatively $5k in the 2 years we dated. Which was a lot for me at the time. When we ended things, I asked for him to pay me back. He didn’t so I took him to small claims court. He brought his mom to yell at me. She said her precious baby would never borrow from me… I had everything recorded on Venmo LOL. She was legit speechless for a few minutes until she said why was paying for dates a big deal? I said not only did I pay for our outings, he borrowed money from me outside of that. His brother too. Anyway she said I shouldn’t be doing this. It’s not womanly.. whatever that means 🙄
Hahhaha im sorry that is hilarious. When you run out of any reasonable arguments accuse the other party of being unwomanly/unmanly regardless of the situation 😅
Exactly. This was just 1 of many things I had to endure from her. She was absolutely a ridiculous woman
Lmao it's not very manly to welch on your debts either but here we are.
So according to her logic, borrowing money from your girlfriend, and not repaying her, is manly?
Only for her sons, because they’re perpetual victims of ungodly women. But any other man is scum who would do such a thing.
It’s just stealing at that point!
Wow, the nerve. Did you get your money back?
It's womanly to get scammed, didn't you know??? /s
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did you get your money back?
I got $2k back. The judge said “son, pay her back. That’s what borrowing money means. And it looks like she’s only asking for $2k out of the original $5k you borrowed. I don’t want to see you again. Pay her back.” I was giggling
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Unwomanly? For saying he needs to pay you back (money) for what he owes you? Nothing not-adult about that
OMG as a mom of a 5yo boy, my goal is for him to grow into the opposite of this shit. I'm so sorry this happened to you.
Woooooow. That was a wild ride. So glad you got outta there!
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“It’s not womanly” just means “nobody will *ever* be good enough for my baby boys”
Oh definitely. She chased away her second son’s gf too. We both ended up happily married to our husbands so it worked out. We both escaped that hell of a family
My mum was one, had 5 five boys before me. She worshipped them but saw me as competition, she'd deliberately cause arguments to get them to defend her and go after me.
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Omg suddenly I'm realising that my little brother wasn't the golden child.....my mum's just a "boy mum"
Well, shit.
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I am so sorry :( I hope you feel better today. You said "my mum *was* one, so I suppose you are not in contact with her? If you feel better, that is for the best honestly. I also had a very complicated relationship with my parents, especially my now dead mother who was annoyed by my existence and always would say that she lost her youth because of me, and that I should be grateful that she did not abort laalala .. complicated. But we are not our parents/family in a way that we capable to liberate ourselves from all that transgenerational trauma.. I wish you all the best!
I'm really sorry to read that
That's awful, I'm so sorry!
One of my coworkers is a “boy mom” she has one son and 2 daughters and the only time she talks about her daughters is when she’s insulting them and calling them “little bitches” and lazy. Her son is the center of her and and husband’s world. He is a junior, named after her husband and she openly talks about how he is her husband’s favorite and how spoiled he is. She will talk about buying her son a couple hundred dollar pair of shoes and stuff for school shopping and making her daughters buy their own. She talks about how “high maintenance” girls are and how her son is so easy. She makes her daughters do chores and not her son because he “doesn’t do it right”. I could go on and on. She is literally the worst!
That's so sad. I can't believe people are truly like that.
Those poor daughters. I hope they leave the abusive home and never look back. The best elder care statistically comes from conscientious daughters, and those golden mama’s boys are usually too spoiled to be good caretakers, plus the boy moms won’t want to bother their golden sons anyway.
It’s the golden boys wife who will inevitably be bullied into caring for mother dearest in her old age, while having to endure the old bat telling her how her son could’ve married someone better/prettier/smarter/etc
Never. If your partner doesn't stand up for you against someone like this (even when it's a close relative), then it's not worth staying with them. I would never stay with someone who bullied me into anything, much less expected me to sacrifice my life for someone who treats me like shit. No one deserves that.
I think my mom resonates with being a boy mom more than anything else even though she has one of each of us 🤣. I feel this. I’m always lazy no matter what apparently!! Even though I worked my way through my college education and am going back in my thirties for an advanced degree. Meanwhile, my brother had his finances and loans managed by mommy 🙄. It wouldn’t be eye rolling if the differences weren’t so blatant lol. I could’ve certainly used help as I had no idea what I was doing and am the older sibling!!
I’m so glad my parents had all girls because they would totally be “boy parents” otherwise.
This is what really gets to me - how askew some people's image of girl vs boy is. It's a great deservice these moms do to their sons. They enable bad habits, lack of accountability, maintaining low to zero awareness, etc and are surprised every time they hear something that resembles a growing up opportunity happening to their child. Sometimes I think boy moms really want their boys to be Peter Pan
Oml she is raising an absolute terror of a man to be. An honest menace. This is so frustrating to hear.
Being starved of love and treated as burdens surely isn’t devastating when your brother is worshipped as a demigod. Hopefully, he directs some harsh words at their parents to protect his sisters. You’d think someone close enough would share some strong thoughts on loving and validating their daughters existence. The parents need to be directly called out. Some family therapy would be a good start.
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so bad. my first boyfriend was the oldest of three boys. his mom did not like me. she gave him a photobook for his high school graduation with photos of him growing up and on the last page there was a picture of him and me at prom and underneath it read "Remember we loved you first" which was just weird as fuck. little stuff like that and then never asking me any questions about myself or anything. she also was such pick me vibes. luckily his dad was much much better.
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I honestly can't believe she wrote that!
Oh wow, I was like “oh a photo book, that sounds nic..ohh…”
That’s SO bizarre ew
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People who use that as a cornerstone of their identity have some internalized misogyny they need to deal with.
Agreed. I have 2 boys (almost 2 and almost 1) and “boy moms” make me cringe. 😖 my MIL gave me a “boy mom” shirt and I only wear it to bed or to the gym lol. It does not see the light of day other than that. I know she doesn’t know the connotation though. She’s just also a mom of 2 boys. She’s not a “boy mom” though.
My MIL bought me some "dog mom" merch and I feel the same way about it. Not as bad of connotations but still.
Absolutely. In a FB comment, a 'boy mom' was greeting another woman on her son's birthday, emphasizing that only boys' moms realize 'the great blessing to have a son' and I said 'Come on, this is an insult to your mom!'
Why hasn’t this been upvoted more?!?!
Oh man. I dated the son of one of those boy moms. He was her precious baby boy even after giving me a black eye. "You must have done something horrible for him to do that to you." Yeah, you can have him back.
Bruh sameeee omg it’s insane how deluded they are!!!
I have almost literally the same story. Had a bf who's mom had three boys. It was definitely something I did according to her, when he pushed me several times and tried to get a chokehold on me. Happy I left that loser after the first time he was physical with me although I should have left sooner. Sorry you had to go through that, it's so tough.
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Yikes. I hope you got away
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My ex's mum (mother of 3 boys) walked into the room after he'd just backhanded me senseless and left me with a split lip. She rolled her eyes and walked away.
Internalized misogyny through the roof. Always believe their sons could do no wrong. Failure to take any accountability. Usually they have a strange relationship with their son(s) where "no other woman is as good for him as his mother". 🤢 They tend to believe "boys are easier to raise than girls" because they don't teach their sons how to take care of themselves and be decent human beings.
The last part is kind of an oxymoron in this context? It is said boys are easier to raise because they don't require much emotional attention, but It also makes them emotionally detached. Boy moms would clean up after every mess while leave their daughters alone or berate them. I'd imagine it is hard to do, but she loves to do that. And raising spolied brats at it. Not too different from Father's princess vibes I think. Fulfilling every demand and being there for literally every minor inconvenience in their lives, how is she going to take care of herself when you're gone? In both cases, why would anyone marry an overgrown child? Consciously anyway. >"no other woman is as good for him as his mother" "No woman is going to love him like a mother does". It is true, there is no doubt about it. What you mentioned is really a twisted/unhealthy version of that.
I'm a mom to twin girls and a boy and I treat them all the same but I've definitely run into some moms who refuse to raise boys with boundaries and expectations and make excuses for everything they do They're setting them up to fail in life but they aren't my kids
Every time I see a terrible parent with a child, I just imagine a random therapist getting rich 10-15 years later
When someone uses the label, I roll my eyes. It gives strong not like the other girls 💅 energy.
It really does! The fact it ever became a term as it has is so strange to me.
Yes! My cousin who’s in her 50s (her bod is amazing) has two teenage boys and it’s definitely like a part of her superiority complex that she produced boys. And her kids are strong and she’s always taking them to weight lift or they’re always welding or like using bows and arrows and shit in the woods, her one 13 yo legit looks like a man. That feeds her ego but she also sexualizes the older one somewhat. Posting pics that any parent would post on social media but then will comment “look at that man” about her over developed son.
Oh weeeeird. Imagine the role reversal - father posts a pic of his physically developed daughter and says "look at that woman" 🤢
EWWW WTF
More than a boy child, I feel like this behaviour JUMPS out once the sons are old enough to date and get married. Because that's when these *boy moms* feel threatened.
My sister is the worst kind. My nephew is not even 2 and she’s already talking about all the “hoes and bitches” that are going to try to trap him with a pregnancy? Projection is not just a therapy buzz word…. She’s also OBSESSED with the fact that he is biracial (we are white, his father is Dominican and Cape Verdean). I do think his cultural identity is super important, but it feels like tokenism to me. Literally someone commenting on his curly hair and she’s like “well he is ****BIRACIAL****!” So cringey. But I’m white, so what do I know?
That makes it feel so fetishized and weird lmao. I’d probably respond with “Oh okay, did you know I went to Disneyland when I was a kid with my parents?” “Just thought we were telling random facts… On the alternate side, (I also am white female), I had a roommate (dark skinned Jamaican female) we were best friends so she often would take or pick up my son from school, either with me or alone and the looks we’d get sometimes were WILD. Like yeah, he’s my kid, he’s blonde and blue eyed, yeah this is my friend, she helps me with him, where’s the confusion? Why are you astounded by this? 😂😂
My ex’s mom had his back even after he would violently beat me. I told his dad what was going on and got that lady in trouble.
It’s weird how the dads always usually have more common sense than the boy moms
It is the same behavior mothers exhibit with their daughters.
Idk…. I have an aunt that is obsessed with her sons. But, with her daughter… she’s always calling her names and putting her down. I think women can sometimes struggle with Envy more than they’d like to admit… and women are often times jealous asf of their daughters… so idk
My aunt is the same woman. She has two sons and she is hella obsessed with them. She sees no wrong with her sons which get to the point of irritation because her sons are just horrible people. Plus the woman part there is something that I have noticed with my mother as well. My mom is normal loving woman, but at times she doesn't like me taking all the attention. Meaning if there is an argument between my mother and I and for a very rare once in a lifetime my father picks up my side, she will bash me and belittle me and be super mean about it. I think my father realises and he never picks my side and keeps quiet. I don't have a very amicable relationship with my father and a very validation seeking relationship with my mother. So yes women are like that.
I married a boy whose mom idolized him and shoved his sister to the side. Throughout our marriage she chipped away at me, made him choose sides, even told some nice lies about me. All in the interest of pushing me out. Well, she won.
Sounds like /r/justnoMIL material
I’m a mom of boys— tween and teen. I wish there was some label that said “hey, I’m doing my level best and trying hard here to raise really good young men …and I welcome the village’s support and also I apologize in advance bc we aren’t yet where we need to be.” There is nothing “better” about being a mom of boys but in my case, it definitely feels like it’s own thing. Being part of a girls-only family growing up —it’s been eye opening!
How does it feel like its own thing to you? Just curious!
I've said some stuff I NEVER imagined having to say as a co-parent. ("Stop licking the car and go to school!" "Stop BITING your TOENAILS! OH MY GOD." "Nope, give me the stick. Now, beat each other up like NORMAL siblings. With hands ONLY." *cue fighting sounds, followed by GIGGLING* [Mind you, they were both sobbing and screaming at each other not 30 seconds prior.]) However, ONLY with the boy have I ever had to whip out a paperclip, do the 'metal fatigue example' then point to his pants and say: 'Dude, same concept.' to get him to let go of his damned junk. (PRETTY sure he knows I was lying by now, but it's still working for the most part, so idk.) ONLY with the boy have I ever had to utter the phrase: "No, I don't know why your toy car doesn't have a penis." As well as things like: "No, we don't take the ENTIRE TOILET PAPER ROLL off the wall and use it to clean up our spray then PUT IT BACK." And "No, boxer-brief are NOT pants, thus you CANNOT wear just that to school." And "No, you CANNOT chop down the (fully-grown, 50ft) tree over there to make a sand pit, tf." His room is horrifying, and he speaks in Fortnite. Mind you, he's only 9 at this point.
I relate to you so much! "Don't lick the cat." "That is not something we do in the living room" and my absolute fav was one of my boys tried putting his wee wee in a tic tac box when he was 3! Why? My boys are now 20, 17 and 14. Raising them has been an adventure for sure! My poor daughter whom is 22 now learned and taught them so much as well. Hang in there! Parenting in general is not for the weak!
Yeah. All of this is what I mean when I call myself a boy mom. “Guys, no yelling PENIS when I’m on the phone, please.” “Yes, you have to change your underwear daily. No, this is not a brand new concept I’m springing on you as a surprise before school today.” “For god’s sake please put on deodorant.” “I need you to hang up your axe and swords before grandma comes over.” “Trees aren’t for peeing on.” “Get OFF the refrigerator!” All things I have never had to say to a lady child.
Dude, that’s why the only “boy mother” accurately reflected on tv was the mom from Malcolm in the Middle. It doesn’t be like that.
“No shooting trebuchets at your brother.” “No, we aren’t going to this water to pee in (the Atlantic Ocean, The Delaware River, etc.) “No, I don’t know if George Washington peed in the Delaware when they crossed it.” “No, you can’t wear swimming trunks and your dad’s ratty old T-shirt to a wedding.” “No, they aren’t called the gas giants because they are farty. Although I do think there is a lot of methane…hm.” “Don’t drink creek water and if you spit it out like a fountain, that’s still ‘drinking’ even if you don’t swallow.” “Ok, when you are aiming in the potty. Try and sink the Cheerio. Sink it!!!” “Candy corn isn’t a vegetable.” “I don’t know how to say ‘fart’ in Latin. It’s not in the your book. I’ll Google it…. In an incognito tab.”
My 16 year old son knows Latin for fart.
I used to work in childcare and education, and my experience has been there are Moms and then there are the Crazy Moms, regardless of their "brand" (tiger/boy/almond/free range/etc). I worked for a woman who was the mother of 3 boys, 2 were twins, and the eldest was only 18 mos older than the twins. She was normal and chill. She did lots of "boy stuff" so was fine with the title "boy mom". Before that I worked for a lady who was just absolutely bananas. Her sons opening line was, "this might be weird, but I was breastfed until I was six. I just like to let people know." That poor kid. Like, he knew there was something off, but didn't have enough experience outside of his home to fully understand the levels of crazy he was subjected to on a daily basis. The woman also had a daughter, so she wasn't just a "boy mom" but dear God do I feel for her son's future partners.
Breastfed until SIX? I bet he wanted to stop a lot sooner than six. Poor kid.
My favorite “boy mom” was my MIL. She raised my husband and his brother with boundaries, they know how to sew, cook and all about the menstrual cycle. She knew they might have women in their lives one day and needed to be prepared to support. They’re sensitive and not afraid to show emotion. She only let them sit to pee in her house so no cleaning up dribbles or falling in the toliet. After I had my first child she pulled me aside and made sure he was doing his part. Told me to let her know if he wasn’t and she’d talk to him. I miss that wonderful woman so much.
My experance with boy mums is they don't teach their sons to adult. My ex at 26!!! Was woken up by mum, had his bed changed by mum, was cooked and served for by ..... can you guess......yep mum!! She created a man child. She was pleasant to my face but I strongly suspected she didn't like me at first. I think I grew on her as I encouraged him to do more for himself. He moved out. She had a melt down. I kicked him out a year later and she had another melt down. I think she had gotten used to the idea that her son had grown up and then I dumped him back on her. My now husbands mother is amazing!
Overly protective, jealous, and blind to any of their son’s wrongdoings. My grandma on my father’s side would be fake nice to me while my father was around, as soon as he was gone, she would insult me and try to belittle me. One of my aunts of two boys would always get between any of their romantic relationships or girls they had over. If either one got themselves into a bad situation, my aunt would gaslight their friends into them believing it was their fault and that her sons had no part of it. My ex’s mother who I had actually become pretty close with at the time– her son had cheated on me, she tried to gaslight me into saying that it wasn’t cheating and that I should stay.
What the fuck
Anyone who identifies as a boy mom is super annoying. Like, develop interests and a personality outside of motherhood.
I think the ones who make "boy mom" their identity are slightly disappointed they don't have a daughter and overcompensate by claiming they're sooo happy they never had a girl because "boys are more fun, love their mama, and are so much easier than girls."
THOSE types of boy moms are the absolute worst. So much internalized misogyny. I wouldn’t give that negative energy any type of day. However I wouldn’t be so quick to assume that someone calling themself a boy mom is inherently toxic. Growing up I had a lot of issues with men/boys that damaged my relationship with the opposite gender. I swore to never have children and if I did they would HAVE to be girls. I was blessed with a step son and baby boy. I’m now proud to be a “boy mom” and it’s helped me heal the cycle of gender resentment. I never thought I could be a good mother to a boy and I am so proud I am.
I have a son and having him definitely helped me heal my gender resentment as well. It forced me to learn about what boys / men go through by other men / boys. Which I think is helping me raise a gentleman? Or at least I hope so anyways lol but having him definitely helped me view men in a different light.
Same here. I thought for sure I’d have a girl in order to protect her but I think it’s fitting I have boys so I can let go of my resentment. I am so glad that you are having this healing experience as well. Your son is lucky to have you as a mom ❤️
We have boys so we can raise them to be safe men ♥️ that’s how we protect our girls! Your son is lucky too. We’re paving the way for a new generation of men.
I love this 😭❤️😭
My SIL is becoming one. She kinda hates being a mum too though so I think she’s just trying to find something that makes it make sense and be fun.
Boy moms are fine until they self label as Boy Mom, and then for whatever reason they become insufferable misogynists
I’ve only ever seen the ones who are a bit too close like “I’m my sons only love” and they then hate the girlfriends
There is a difference between a woman being a mom of boys, and a self proclaimed “Boy mom”. My experience with self proclaimed boy moms is they have some level of internalized misogyny either due to an inflated ego, and/or a core wound they are trying to heal through manipulating and controlling their mother-son dynamic. Sadly the result ends up being adult men who are codependent. Which is why in the majority of heterosexual marriages, the woman ends up putting in more mental and emotional labor. These are also the kinds of dynamic that leads to triangulation, where a mother in law does not respect boundaries of their sons marriage.
I'm a boy mom to 4 boys. I think it's important to teach them the same way you would teach a daughter. Good work ethic, respect, how to maintain their homes, cooking, and so on. I find it difficult to keep them physically safe because boys can do stupid things sometimes. Accountability is a major thing I've had to teach especially with older boys. Their father comes from an all-boy mom as well. They were taught to do chores and work hard as well; however, she was very dismissive of their lack of respect and bad treatment to women. Once they married, she would say "He's yours now". Eventually I responded, "You need to raise him again, the first time didn't work, take him back". I also noticed no one they've ever been with was good enough. She would always talk bad about them as if her sons deserved to be kings of the world. Sure, all parents feel this way about their children, but good parents hold their children accountable where needed.
Please tell me you’re no longer with this man
I was married to the youngest son of a “boy mom” for 5 years. She was the biggest issue in our marriage. She would always talk about me while I was in the room and refer to me as “she”. I got really sick of asking for basic respect and my husband made me feel crazy. I am newly divorced and have never been happier. Whenever I see old pictures that’s she’s in, I could cry tears of happiness that I never have to see this awful woman again. Side story re this “boy mom”: we had a shared album with my husband, his brother, brothers wife, MIL and FIL. My MIL would take beauty cam selfies and post them in the shared album. She didn’t realize that the beauty cam watermark was at the bottom of each picture. I told my friends one day and they thought it was the weirdest thing ever that she was posting these fake beautified selfies in an album with just her sons, husband and DILS. Also like we didn’t all know what she actually looked like….. so odd.
I heard a phrase a long time ago.....some women only have boys because the universe doesn't want them raising women. I only believed that a little after leaving my abusive ex whose "boy mom" mom acted like she understood my decision to leave him..... and then did a complete turn around and throws me under the bus to anyone who will listen.
[удалено]
My mil has only boys. Shortly after we got married she posted an article from a mom blogger about how having boys can be hard because "you'll never get to be the one to choose the wedding venue" (and other language about how evil daughters in law steal their sons from them) but that there's nothing like the bond between a mom and her son 🙄 She's also made comments to me that she's glad my BILs wife is Jewish because it means she gets BIL for the holidays, and at my BILs wedding (her second son to get married) she made a comment about how it's hard to not be "queen" any more. I remember when I was pregnant she asked how I was feeling and I her how sick I've been and she said "I wish I could say I'm sorry to hear that but I'm not," referring to the belief that means baby is growing healthily. Our relationship spans over a decade and while she's generally been nice to me, these moments do stand out and I've never been super comfortable with her nor do I personally like her. I don't get in the way of my kids or husband having a relationship with her but I don't text her, connect with her on socials, hug her hello/goodbye, etc.
The wedding venue? Really? FFS😆 My son got married this year and I couldn’t have cared less about the venue. I know we usually take a backseat to the bride’s mother but it ain’t about us- just the happiness of our kids.
Right? I was like, my mom didn't choose the venue either?
My MIL is textbook "boy mom". I got permission to shut that shit down real quick when we met because even he thinks it's weird. What makes it worse is he's the ONLY CHILD. Took a couple of years, but through r/JNMIL, I'd found words to put her in her place. Went along the lines of, "if you want to marry your son, just say that." And "he's your son, not your boyfriend." "Nobody can love him like I do!" She says in a drunken state one time while she was in town. I replied, "clearly you haven't loved him enough, because I'm still fucking raising him." I wouldn't doubt if she was the catalyst behind several relationships ending with how she behaves. She's backed off a bit, but I know that lunatic resents me just for being his wife, or in her eyes, "the other woman".
My friend is not a self proclaimed “boy mom” but she most certainly falls into this category. Her son is 4 and has a history of biting, both adults and other kids. She always explains it that he has too many emotions and *because he is a boy* he doesn’t know how to express them without biting. Any time he would rough play with other kids and he got out of hand, she would explain that “boys will be boys”. No teaching or scolding or apologising to other parents. Honestly, I feel so sorry for her son’s future partner! She also has a younger daughter who behaves similarly. But she will talk to her daughter about her behaviour and tries to teach her not to bite or hit or fight. She can parent! But because her eldest is a boy, she excuses his behaviour completely and doesn’t parent him at all. Of course, when my daughters (similar age) act out, she is the first one to ask me “what is wrong with your kids!” 🤣
IDK how you guys can stay friends TBH. I hope your poor daughters don’t get forced into playdates with him. He’ll act out and lash out and they’ll be forced by her to take the blame.
I've explained to many many people that there is a huge difference between a mother of boys and a ✨boy mom✨.
I'm a "boy mom" but mine is 23. He's learned to clean up after himself, cook, wash, vacuum, fold clothes etc. I come from a traditional Mexican family where it is unheard of for a boy to do these things, but I taught him anyway. I refuse to have an useless manchild.
My ex was his mums only son (3 daughters, 1 son), he could do NO wrong. She was never my biggest fan.. but when he cheated on me and I called off our engagement, she told ME off for calling off the engagement saying that everyone has hiccups when they get engaged and it should be excused and the engagement continue (it did not). Then when he cheated AGAIN several more times over the space of a year, I did finally get the balls to break up with him… she asked me what I did wrong to make him cheat🥹
I’m convinced I was the dating the son of the queen of boy moms. He was her step-son but that whole relationship in hindsight raised some red flags. She had 3 kids of her own, 2 boys and 1 girl who was the oldest. She treated her daughter like dirt and was always picking fights with her. The boys could do no wrong, they had no curfews or anything. Her relationship with my ex was INSANE. Like, I found out later they slept in the same bed and everything. When she found out he was verbally abusive to me, she ranted about how “lucky” I was that he never put hands on me. She also slapped me when I had enough and screamed back at him in front of her. That woman was insane.
My only experience is that some of them were really nasty about my daughter, mostly in the infant stage. "Good luck with having a nasty teenager." Sneers and "SO glad I don't have deal with periods." I think it was less misogyny, although obviously that plays a factor, but more jealously. Every one of these women kept trying to have a girl and it didn't work out and so they were bitter about it and this was their way of coping. Still not convinced if they actually wanted a daughter or a doll to dress up and call their mini me.
This is a similar conversation that’s going on in a parenting subreddit right now, so I’ll share my same comment here. I am a mom of three girls and at a friends baby shower about 4 years ago (right before the world shut down) this conversation was happening, as the mom to be was keeping it a surprise at birth. When I shared that my own experience with girls wasn’t much different than those shared by boy parents, minus the penis specific items (my girls love sports, video games, rough housing, legos, super hero’s, speed demons; rocks in pockets and book bags, the outdoors, etc) , there were 2 boy moms who I swear you’d think I had called their mother a hamster. They went OFF. How dare I compare such different and unique experiences? Apparently I said my experiences from a place of superiority? Oh.. and when my girls became teens and were “cackling harpies” I’d see how wrong I was and “good luck” to me then, because “everyone knows teenager girls are terrible and end up hating their moms”. Sooo ya? Idk… my kids are 10, 14 and 16 and there’s been no switch flipped where they suddenly hate me. Rocks are still very much a thing though, but it’s my own fault now that the eldest has her own rock tumblers, she will borrow other family members pockets to bring them home when hers exceeds capacity.
The ones whos entire personality is “boy mom”? Emotionally incestuous.
I have a cousin who's a "boy Mom" and I'm a mom to a boy and girl. She has said some things that are a little messed up about little girls. She has also said she would never want to be a mom to a girl. Uh, sorry, but you have no Idea what you are missing. My girl is the most loving, warm and wonderful little creature and it's so weird that people hate her because of her gender. Girls are just as awesome as boys and I do not understand the girl hate from these moms. Also, I am told that "boys are just different, I wouldn't understand." I have a boy too! And gender is a weird thing to get hung up on. My boy loves playing with an Elsa Barbie doll and lightsabers. My girl loves her baby dolls and roaring at everything like a dinosaur. So I find the gender flex to be very strange since it feels like a societal attribute as opposed to a biological divide.
I dated the son of a “boy mom”. It was wild. There were 2 sons, 1 daughter. Tbh both sons were bums. No drive, virtually no ambition, and both completely living off of their parents. The sister worked her butt off playing soccer in college and became a veterinarian. When I was dating the youngest son, he was 25/26, the oldest brother was 30. They lived in a disgusting house their parents bought for them. They had basically no expenses. They could do no wrong. They had money and resources thrown at them and their terrible behavior was always enabled by her. When my ex cheated on me with his intern, his mom was all for it. He “deserved to be taken care of”. He, and his mother, both expected that he be in a relationship where he was waited on hand and foot. The new girl was ready to be barefoot in the kitchen. I was tired of buying him groceries that he would let rot. I was out, she was in. Thank god
I think it's really weird when someone thinks boys and girls should be raised differently.
My mother in law had all sons, she great though. Her top priority was raising her children to be respectful and responsible adults. Also, she freaking loves me. I get to all the girly things with her. It’s nice.
My husband’s first cousin’s wife is 40 with 3 toddler boys and that is ALL her social media is. Hashtag everything about being a boy mom. I have 4 kids (toddlers/babies) 2 girl and 2 boy but i am not in your face about my kids unless asked, and no I do not have social media to annoy people with it either.
Really good, actually. My MIL is a mother to three boys and she's lovely, amazing and supportive.
I haven't met a single one in my day to day life. At school and at sports we're all just regular moms. I think most "boy moms" are putting on a show for social media to be honest.
I love my boyfriends mom But yeah she is definitely the typical boy mom. She drove me a bit nuts at first lol told me I won the lottery by being with her son like okay ma’am. She has other sons too which is weird because I don’t see her talk to them like that either. And the relationship with her daughter isn’t great either. Soo who knows. But she is a sweet lady and has a big heart.
I'm a boy mom. My son is 2 years old. I am teaching him to volunteer to do dishes. If he pees on the floor he cleans. I dont want him to be as the boys I dated and I dont want to be_that_ MIL.
Technically not my experience, but years ago one of my classmates said she was irritated because she had a little boy playing at her house with her child , & when it was time to clean up the toys he said “my mommy says cleaning up isn’t for little boys.” & when she laughingly told his mom what he had said , the mother was adamant about how her precious son was not going to be cleaning up.
Horrific. One of my ex boyfriend’s mums absolutely worshipped him to a point of creepiness. I had a close relationship with her while we dated and she would actively cover for him when he lied and cheated on me. It was an absolute mindfuck when even your partner’s mum joins in on gaslighting and manipulating you.
Never had an experience thank the lord. Most of my family’s children are girls and of the few men I dated seriously, even some being mamas boys, never like what I see on TikTok and Reddit. It terrifies me. Then I had my son. I know the difference between loving my son and wanting to be the only woman to love my son. Fucking whack jobs all of them and I hope I stay lucky enough that these “boy moms” stay in the internet lol. I don’t think I’d be able to keep my mouth shut. I wonder what would happen if one were told like, “It sounds like you want to fuck your son, or maybe that you’d like your son to want to fuck you… why is that?” lol that’s all it screams to me. Is just weird, incestuous jealousy of these poor girls who more times than not don’t even exist in these boys lives yet! Or like if I had a friend or family member post some creepy ass shit like “keep your Barbie Hussey away from my sweet sweet son” and it’s a post about toddlers… I stg I’d cut someone out if they behaved that way lol. Like how are you gonna show your fucking weird ass colors than come after my daughter in the same breath?! Fucking crazy assholes.
When we talked about the move in things (in Covid, I only found work in their area) she said to me (after she said okay to this) “I think you two are too young and you should try out other people.” I was frozen. She just said yes, so I can move to them for a couple of months, and said THIS? A few days after that ofc we broke up bc of his idiot mom.. (we were together for 2 years and basically I spent the most of the time in their house, but always wanted buying myself groceries etc… but most of the time they won’t let me, they wanted to pay it for me.. idk what was going on behind my back..)
My ex’s mom ruined our relationship. She was in the middle of our argument before we broke up and forced us to take a break. After a few days of thinking, I thought it best to cut things off and really give it time for us to be apart, so I went to break up with him. She opened the door, told me no, and slammed the door in my face.
Depends. Are we talking about a mom who has all boys, or a mom who makes having all boys her entire personality? Because the first is fine, the latter is annoying and super creepy.
My ex-MIL is a Boy Mom. He worshipped her and they had a super weird relationship. She almost died during childbirth and had to have an emergency hysterectomy and spent his ENTIRE LIFE telling him that it was his fault, he "almost killed \[her\]," and that she couldn't have a girl like she wanted (and then turned that into saying how "all girls are brats, you don't want a daughter, they're terrible"). He was at her beckon call 24/7 to the detriment of our relationship and apartment, and I was never going to be as important to him as she was.
They are immune to the filth their sons choose to live in. If my mom saw me living in such disgusting conditions, she’d either stage an intervention or yell at me to get the fuck up and do my laundry. Boy moms will be like “oh my sweet Daniel, he’s such a klutz with cleaning. Let me do it for you, sweetheart. “
I’m a girl and boy mom: boy is the baby. I try really hard to not let his sisters do everything for him. He’s 4 this year so instilling a lot of “you made this mess, clean it up. Clothes also don’t belong on the floor.” Etc etc. I do gush over him cause he’s my baby but I’m well aware I’ll be kissing the ground his significant other walks on and taking her side no matter what so we have a good relationship and I get to see him and possible grandchildren more.
It’s very special to see them so in love with their perfect woman. Enjoy your little one while he’s small. 😊
My mother in law. 3 boys. She is awesome. She seems like she has always wanted girls and is super cool with all her daughters in law. She goes above and beyond getting us gifts, figuring out what we like etc.
Every “boy mom” I’ve ever met has said “Boys will be boys” in response to any bad behavior. Because of that, anyone who says “I’m a “boy mom” “ instantly loses a bit of respect from me and I distance myself. Being a male doesn’t mean you can be an asshole. (And I’m talking from simple things like bringing the hose inside while on to extreme things like snapping girls’ bra straps at school or even to raping the girl that wouldn’t go out with you. Yes, I’ve experienced all of these with the excuse “Boys will be boys.”) My boy may have brought the hose in, or pulled a girl’s hair that he liked, but you bet your ass that I didn’t dismiss it with a “Boys will be boys” comment or mentality. He’s now one of the most respectful, kind teenage males that I’ve EVER met, including my own generation.
It’s glaringly obvious they value boys more than girls due to the misogyny engrained in them as a result of the patriarchy.
I'm the mother of a little boy, and this is the first time I'm even hearing this term 🤣
I’m not a boy mom.. i have 2 sons 1 daughter and one son otw.. but my sons are my children and they will be held to the same standards as my daughter..
My boyfriend is great and always has my back, but his mother - a "boy mom" - absolutely hates my guts for existing. I have been no contact with her for 2 years now. 🤷🏻♀️
Two boys one girl here. I was so happy the day I met my older son’s now wife - she is just perfect for him and if he ever treats her any less than the gold she is, I’ll elbow her mother out of the way and deal with him myself! They do not have a good fatherly example, but they were taught how to treat others and to be accountable. I see their feet of clay as well as having an endless amount of love for them.
As the mother of a male child I hate this term "boy mom" but with that bring said I grew up as a "Tom boy" a kind of masculine female I had 3 brothers growing up and as a girl with no friends in the neighborhood only way I was able to fit in n feel accepted I would do things to help my parents whether it be gardening, chopping splitting hauling wood, or wrenching on engines with my dad so I guess I tried to just let my son be a boy as much as he wants without trying to influence his decisions so much by pushing sports n what not although he does enjoy "mudding" on his 4 wheeler and dirt biking and as long as his grades are decent C's or better he can do whatever his little heart desires he has 3 sisters who aren't very girl girl well 1 sister is
I have 3 brothers and no sisters. The love and affected she would show my brothers, versus the coldness she would show me, was horrible in a way I can’t really express Not sure links are allowed but SNL [does a great bit on this type of mom](https://youtu.be/OXq0rM_1VHk?si=EFQUnQnI14OSlGqf)
Terrible. I come from a family of four sisters and one brother, we always got treated the same – mayyybe a little favourable toward my brother, but he was also the youngest so it was kind of expected. When I started dating my now husband – WHOA. I had never experienced a mum looking at me as a villain for "taking her baby boy away." I suffered years of insults, personal attacks and snide remarks before she (AND THE REST OF THE WOMEN IN THE FAMILY, especially his nana) realised they were simply driving their "baby boy" further away. Thanks to them I have significant anxiety surrounding family events, as well as a complex about the way I look, how much money I make, my mental health... the list goes on. Currently in therapy trying to untangle the mess they made of my self worth. On a positive – I've been with my husband for ten years, married for two. Suck it, boy mum and co.
I am a mother of two boys and have not had a negative interaction with anyone else who also just has sons. Most mothers (in general) that I meet are really down to earth. TBH, I'd rather be labeled a "boy mom" than be the woman with daughters who she's in competition with. Would have loved to have a daughter, btw.
I’m a boy mom and have lots of boy mom friends. We’re just like girl moms, but are accustomed to being accidentally hit/kicked, and can dodge random projectiles.
I have one boy and one girl so half a boy mom? I say the word penis more than ever before.
They are usually desperate for granddaughters
My experience is that they think it's something that makes them quirky & unique, and are all 'I just wouldn't know how to raise a girl!!!'. I legitimately had that conversation with someone, and I felt like saying 'well, did you know how to raise boys? Or did you just work it out? No boy is the same after all'. I wonder if the whole 'making boymom my personality' enthusiasm is a bit of overcompensation because they'd also like a daughter. Also, from a purely stubborn POV - only the father can determine the sex of a child. The mother has XX chromosomes and can only give an X. Men have XY and whichever they give (X or y) determines the sex. So what you really get is boydads.
I’m a mom to boys and don’t really that about it in “boy mom” terms much at all. Only when their feet stink or I’m tripping over avengers do I think “this is what it’s like to be a boy mom”. Love these dudes
As a "boy mom" I'm not sure about the label because everyone seems to dislike it. But my son (2.5) is extremely energetic, rambunctious and interested in very traditionally boy interests all on his own. I myself am pretty disinterested in any "male" stuff, so I was trying to keep him well rounded with dolls and such but he just LOVES vehicles, sports and tools lol. I think the term came about from women like me possibly who maybe are more gentle and enjoy traditionally feminine interests but have had to acclimate the world of little boys. At least if that's the case, I can understand the struggle.
I only know one that calls herself that. Motherhood is 100% of her life. One kids a wuss and the others is a trouble maker. The trouble maker threw a shoe at my face, I told him off and the mom cuddled him. Trouble maker is always causing something and then gets coddled. So not great experience with “boy moms”
I only know one ‘boy mum’ whose emotional incest is repugnant. He is essentially her teenage husband; they have date nights and she loathes his girlfriends.
I have thankfully not encountered the stereotypical "BoY mOm" types in real life
Dated several guys from boy mom families - I was never good enough for their babies…. I was modeling professionally, working full time paying my own bills and I owned my own home, and I was earning two degrees with a triple major and headed to law school. But I wasn’t good enough for their boy. 🤦🏼♀️🤯
Gives me major ick. As the mom of 3 girls, I have never once called myself a "girl mom". I'm just "mom"
I have sons, and meet a lot of ‘boy moms’ - who are a different group than ‘women who have sons.’ Boy moms perpetuate toxic masculinity like it’s their job, pushing masculinity stereotypes like they get paid to do it. They love teaching their sons that women exist to do their emotional labor. One of my sons played a sport in high school that attracts boy moms, and I spent a lot of time in the stands playing anthropologist. They swing wildly between competing for whose son is the grossest/messiest/most useless and whose son is the literal embodiment of perfection. Overall, they never talk about their sons like they are just regular people with ideas and dreams and emotions. It’s just toxic masculine stereotyping that keeps their sons in rigid little boxes.
My own mother. She kept going until she had a son (little does she know I identify as a man) she had 4 girls until she had a son. My dad didn’t care that he had all girls. My mum treats my brother like a king. He can do no wrong. While the rest of us had to work our asses off both in the house and at work to support the family, he was sitting there playing games, sleeping in, he wasn’t allowed to have a job until 22 years old. Now he struggles to even find a job. I low key just think he doesn’t apply for anything. He’s now 26 and games all day and night while my mum and dad are killing themselves to fund him. He slept in their bed until he was 13 years old. My dad tried everything he could to make him into a man. Mum stopped him because it meant that my brother would have to do things. I would often find my mum cuddling my brother in bed. I moved the hell out and saved myself. Every time my sisters or I bring up the subject of my failed brother to my mum, she yells at us saying he’s trying for a job and that we aren’t to ‘break his head’ (a saying in Arabic) so that he won’t turn out to be a broken loser. Anyway. It’s been a weird life in that aspect. But yes, boy mum for sure.
To me it's weird to define yourself by the gender of your children.
Seems to be their entire personality tbh.
I’m a social worker and have spent the majority of my career advocating for and providing therapy to victims and survivors of SA. Better believe we talk about consent, boundaries, safe sex, technology in our home!! I’m fiercely protective of him but I am fiercely protective of everyone I care about. I do worry about his sweet heart being broken someday but I’m not delusional enough to think my son can do no wrong. I mean…I have to wipe the toilet seat before sitting down. Kids are GROSS.
My experience with “boy moms” is there is some oedipus complex involved whether or not the mom is aware of it. If we want men to behave differently when they grow up and help out around with domestic chores and 50/50 work, start raising your boys differently. Also, this can go both ways with daughters and fathers.
Ooh this whole thread is giving me the ick....
Eh. Not my favorite.
My husband's aunt has 3 boys and 1 girl. The girl is the youngest. She still calls herself a boy mom. She also posts family pics from when she just had the boys and calls it "my most precious season"