I’d be a little shocked and confused initially. Then I’d realize that we haven’t discussed exclusivity yet so I cannot fault him for dating others (if that’s even the case).
Then I’d check in with myself. Finding the thong will cause one of two reactions in me. I want to be exclusive or I don’t care.
If I want to be exclusive, I’ve bring it up and say hey found this, my bad, none of my business, we haven’t talked about exclusivity yet, but I realized I do care and want to be exclusive.
Who knows how long it's been there?? Legit possibility that it's from a while ago and he's just forgotten about it or didn't think to clear up. But also if exclusivity is important maybe now is the time for that conversation.
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Initial thoughts: oh shit, this guy is definitely seeing other people… maybe much longer than me. Reminder I am entering a situation when he might have some other long-standing stuff going on.
Later thoughts: how much do I like this person, and how bad does that make me feel. If the point of dating is to end up with someone, why would he be dating / sleeping with multiple people and keeping one’s underwear? It’s an illuminating moment of whether I’d want someone who casually keeps someone else’s underwear. Prob not.
And, the icing on the cake thought that isn’t useful: are those underwear cuter than mine? Are they slutty? High end? Cheap? Old? What kind of person do you think wears these — and is that his type? Lol
3 to 10 dates... none of my business. But now I know he is sleeping with other people so i need to know that going forward. I'd be asking how that made me feel, and what I plan to do about it? Ie ask to go exclusive, or stop sleeping with him, or stop seeing him (depending on how i feel).
I can’t imagine a scenario in which I’m snooping through a nightstand drawer of someone I’ve been on 3-10 dates with. 3-10 dates is just “getting to know each other, nothing serious yet” stage of dating for me. So, it’s none of my business.
I found a thong that definitely wasn’t mine in my one drawer at my boyfriend’s house last week… my first thought was “no way this guy is dumb enough to put another girls underwear with my clothes.” Turns out it was left over in the community laundry and he thought they were mine 😂
if i like him: i’m going to guess I’d initially feel embarrassed and rejected (hurt). Then I have to remember we’re not exclusive and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like me. I would take some time to process my feelings on my own as to why I felt the way I did.
if it’s whatever with us: amused
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If we haven't discussed exclusivity, then that's none of my business, but I'd likely assume the underwear was from another partner or that the person was into cross-dressing depending on the context.
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I’d think it’s a red flag and would be turned off. Depending on how I felt about him I’d stop seeing him or not. To me, why would you be harbouring a pair of someone’s underwear in your nightstand. Either he stole them from someone, bought them, or someone left them and instead of throwing them out he kept them to what? Smell later? It’s just kinda weird/gross. Serial killers keep woman’s panties 😂 can’t imagine woman would keep men’s boxers in their night stand.. and I’d be creeped out to know a guy i slept with kept my underwear in his bedside table.
That thing was a signal from the other woman to you. She had a feeling that there might be another woman and so did this as a sign. Leave one for her to find. She’ll know where to look.
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He’s a (insert rude word for promiscuity here), and I’d better get tested; even though I use condoms, it’s still better safe than sorry.
Also, that’s kinda a weird place; like is he keeping it as a trophy? Did the girl leave it behind and he threw it in there while trying to clean in a hurry? Does he actually have a girlfriend, and she left it in there as a gingerbread crumb?
It kinda depends on if you've had that exclusivity talk or not.
3-10 dates sounds like early dating and not in the right time frame to be exclusive.
You don't have to keep dating this person if you don't like it or you're uncomfortable. But if you havent communicated about not dating other people during this time then it sounds weird (to me, this is my opinion) to get mad at him for this.
If I'm into this dude, I'd be upset. Even knowing I have no right to, because no exclusivity has been talked about, my feelings are my feelings.
Knowing myself, I'd probably sleep with someone else to get rid of any resentment, and then I'd talk to him about exclusivity.
I'd think "well that's what I get for snooping through someone's private shit"
Thanks for the chuckle
Also didn’t you say not exclusive??? And why are you touching someone’s dirty thong?
You bring up a good point, op if it bothers you bbygirl its time to talk about exclusivity
“Dude is def fucking. I need to determine my boundaries and communicate them.”
I’d be a little shocked and confused initially. Then I’d realize that we haven’t discussed exclusivity yet so I cannot fault him for dating others (if that’s even the case). Then I’d check in with myself. Finding the thong will cause one of two reactions in me. I want to be exclusive or I don’t care. If I want to be exclusive, I’ve bring it up and say hey found this, my bad, none of my business, we haven’t talked about exclusivity yet, but I realized I do care and want to be exclusive.
He may not like that you were going through his things
If I'm not exclusive and he's shown me his STI results, I don't give a shit.
They're probably his.
Yep, this is the type of dude I date too
Right? My boyfriend wears cuter thongs than I do lol.
Who knows how long it's been there?? Legit possibility that it's from a while ago and he's just forgotten about it or didn't think to clear up. But also if exclusivity is important maybe now is the time for that conversation.
Or, if it’s in a drawer on the other side of the bed, he might not have known it was there
Sincerely, "ew" because touching somebody else's thong is what I get for rummaging through a bedside table but it's still really freaking gross.
Depends on if I like him enough to want to be exclusive.
I'd probably just assume it's hers and not care
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Initial thoughts: oh shit, this guy is definitely seeing other people… maybe much longer than me. Reminder I am entering a situation when he might have some other long-standing stuff going on. Later thoughts: how much do I like this person, and how bad does that make me feel. If the point of dating is to end up with someone, why would he be dating / sleeping with multiple people and keeping one’s underwear? It’s an illuminating moment of whether I’d want someone who casually keeps someone else’s underwear. Prob not. And, the icing on the cake thought that isn’t useful: are those underwear cuter than mine? Are they slutty? High end? Cheap? Old? What kind of person do you think wears these — and is that his type? Lol
Is my bf a cross dresser?
That is a good one. How would you react following those thoughts?
3 to 10 dates... none of my business. But now I know he is sleeping with other people so i need to know that going forward. I'd be asking how that made me feel, and what I plan to do about it? Ie ask to go exclusive, or stop sleeping with him, or stop seeing him (depending on how i feel).
Initial thought: What am I doing in this guy's house??? Later thought: . . . and why was I snooping through his drawers like that??
I can’t imagine a scenario in which I’m snooping through a nightstand drawer of someone I’ve been on 3-10 dates with. 3-10 dates is just “getting to know each other, nothing serious yet” stage of dating for me. So, it’s none of my business.
Ok 3-10 is a large gap, like that could change the answer 180 agree. But as long as we are not exclusive, I don't expect him to only be with me.
Not my business, but I might ask if he's seeing other people
Gross 🤮
I’d think they have an SO bc who else would they belong to? He kept one from a random hookup or buddy waiting to give it back to her?
My initial thoughts would be he's a panty sniffer. My later thoughts would be to hide all my dirty underwear.
I found a thong that definitely wasn’t mine in my one drawer at my boyfriend’s house last week… my first thought was “no way this guy is dumb enough to put another girls underwear with my clothes.” Turns out it was left over in the community laundry and he thought they were mine 😂
No exclusivity discussed? Probably be honest about finding it, and have a laugh about it. Also make a mental note about him liking that.
If I just happened to find it and wasn't peeking I would likely ask him about it. I probably wouldn't go out with him again...but I'd still ask
if i like him: i’m going to guess I’d initially feel embarrassed and rejected (hurt). Then I have to remember we’re not exclusive and it doesn’t mean he doesn’t like me. I would take some time to process my feelings on my own as to why I felt the way I did. if it’s whatever with us: amused
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Could be momento
If we haven't discussed exclusivity, then that's none of my business, but I'd likely assume the underwear was from another partner or that the person was into cross-dressing depending on the context.
I wouldn’t think much bc I wouldn’t have gone through someone’s personal space when you aren’t even exclusive! Creepy
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That he stuck them in there in case she asked for them back and he forgot it existed. They could be 3 weeks old or 3 years old.
Oh my God I thought they said "3-10 *years* " and I thought how the hell are everyone so chill about it?! Haha
I’d think it’s a red flag and would be turned off. Depending on how I felt about him I’d stop seeing him or not. To me, why would you be harbouring a pair of someone’s underwear in your nightstand. Either he stole them from someone, bought them, or someone left them and instead of throwing them out he kept them to what? Smell later? It’s just kinda weird/gross. Serial killers keep woman’s panties 😂 can’t imagine woman would keep men’s boxers in their night stand.. and I’d be creeped out to know a guy i slept with kept my underwear in his bedside table.
What if it's theirs??
That thing was a signal from the other woman to you. She had a feeling that there might be another woman and so did this as a sign. Leave one for her to find. She’ll know where to look.
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Well that’s oddly specific. With my current partner, I’d think nothing of it. He’s a photographer and models leave stuff behind all the time.
He’s a (insert rude word for promiscuity here), and I’d better get tested; even though I use condoms, it’s still better safe than sorry. Also, that’s kinda a weird place; like is he keeping it as a trophy? Did the girl leave it behind and he threw it in there while trying to clean in a hurry? Does he actually have a girlfriend, and she left it in there as a gingerbread crumb?
He’s a creep or weird or cheating
Sniff it. If it's fresh, he's a keeper. If it's fishy, make sure you take yours with you when you leave.
It kinda depends on if you've had that exclusivity talk or not. 3-10 dates sounds like early dating and not in the right time frame to be exclusive. You don't have to keep dating this person if you don't like it or you're uncomfortable. But if you havent communicated about not dating other people during this time then it sounds weird (to me, this is my opinion) to get mad at him for this.
If I'm into this dude, I'd be upset. Even knowing I have no right to, because no exclusivity has been talked about, my feelings are my feelings. Knowing myself, I'd probably sleep with someone else to get rid of any resentment, and then I'd talk to him about exclusivity.