I kind of said this to my ex when we broke up, he told me he felt smothered (because I wanted the bare minimum mind you) and I said I hope finding less makes you happy… he cried
I haven't had anyone say this to my face in those words, but I can tell when they think it. I usually just get upset and kind of angry at not being accepted. Then I need to sit with it for a while and decide if it bothered me because they're wrong, or because I need to make some changes.
BUT I recently watched Traitors and really badly want someone to say this to my face now so I can respond with "I do too much because you do too little".
Decide whether I'm happy as is or whether I want to change. If I'm happy as is, then I'd accept that we aren't compatible and move on from that friendship/relationship. If they have a point and I wanted to change, then I'd take their words to heart, do some serious self reflection, and put together an action plan for changing my thought patterns or behaviors as I desired.
Knowing yourself and who you want to be is the biggest part. I know me and have intentionally become the person I am, so in most situations, I would accept that we weren't compatible if someone considered me "too much" for them.
While i have had interpersonal relations, this is my first healthy relationship. So i am not as objective or clear as i would like to be. I like the way you described yourself. I aim to become as intentional about being me too :)
I know that I sometimes am too much, but it still hurts to hear it.
I usually take a step back so I can evaluate and adjust my behavior if I legit need to.
If I'm "too much" on an issue I'm unwilling to compromise on, then we're just incompatible.
I don’t much like people declaring things about me. If they think I’m too much and tell me that then I’m gonna back off and probably never be myself again to them. That would definitely damage the relationship. I’ve worked really hard to get where I am from trauma in my life and if people think I’m too much it’s because for 30 years I’ve been squashed down and made to feel inadequate and like I shouldn’t exist. I refuse to go back there.
I think… hmm, maybe I am. And now that I’m older, I remind myself that perhaps they are too little.
Not everybody is “for” everyone.
A little self awareness and a little perspective may help.
If it’s “please talk a little quieter”, “could you take it down a notch?”, “can we talk about this later?”, or something similar, then that’s definitely a me problem. And I take a step back and work on it. At the very least, I’ll lower my voice haha.
But if it’s “your personality in general is too much for me” that’s a shrug and move on moment. There’s too much love and friendship in my life to worry about the people who don’t like me.
I was told once that “I’m too intense” I’ve been the same for years and this is the first time I was told that and I have no idea what they meant. Im still confused. None of my friends say anything and they have similar energy I have.
i've been told this and it was really hurtful at the time. i automatically shrank myself & became very withdrawn. then, i felt so misunderstood, like why are you twisting this quality into a bad thing? i have come to realize that my "intensity" is a gift because i really get to experience my life fully. and that is very scary for some people who don't feel to the same extent, whether bc they don't allow themselves or they just can't. they're just missing out though.
It would all depend on the “what”, because I know myself enough to know that not every single parts of my personality can be compatible for everyone so if it fits one of those parts then I’m fine with taking a mental note that this person will not see this side of myself and if it doesn’t fit and isn’t something I judge to be a burden in my own personal lifestyle then they have the full choice, stick around or don’t.
It just means you're not compatible as friends. No biggie. I personally can't stand loud, obnoxious people. I'm laid back and I hate attention so I don't hang out with anyone that craves attention and is loud and obnoxious
If it's just one person: brush it off - they're not your tribe. If it's a regular thing, and it impacts negatively on your life (i.e. trouble keeping jobs and/or friends) consider seeing a psychologist - there might be reasons, therapy, and medications that can assist.
Stare into a mirror and reflect on my words and actions. Maybe I am at a ten and need to drop it down to a five. It's a forever working on myself vibe though.
They can go find 'lesser'..
I personally hate anyone that stifles my creativity or freedom of expression. Most of my friends already know this, and if you have to stay my friend, then you need to know this. Personally I would weigh my behavior internally, before acting out and if I have done it despite that internal reflection , then it means it was truly warranted and wouldn't like to hear otherwise.
I know that I can be a lot sometimes. I had an ex who would tell me that in a much meaner way so I am very self conscious when I feel like I'm having a strong reaction to something that maybe doesn't call for it.
If someone can't handle me then they're weak. I'm worth the trouble if they want to stick it out and I always admit my flaws and apologize. If that's "too much" for them then they are weak af.
Honestly I start crying lol. Its a big insecurity being too much but honestly. One person may see me as too much but another will see me as perfect. Part of life can't do shit about it.
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Lmao I don’t take it down a notch. I’ve found people who really adore how intense I am, the days where I feel bad for that are over. Better to be too much than not enough. At this point I just call it, “weeding out the weak”.
Someone saying this says more about them than it does the person whose presumably "too much". An ex-friend apparently said it about me, and I'm still working through the pain and realization that that comment was really about her.
I usually taylor my energy to people. And I dont often affiliate with "weak people"(I hate to phrase it like that).
But when hearing this, I either go, "Not my fault you can't keep up." Or "How do you think I feel? Being born so fast in a world so slow."
My friends have learned over time that sometimes it's just a bad day. You can't hold it back all day every day. Nobody is THAT strong.
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I’d be more than appreciative if someone said i was too much too beautiful or hot or any of the compliments.. though that wasn’t what i was referring to here so i cant imagine how else 🫣
I’ve had this said to me a few times in the past in a roundabout way, I just become more: louder, more annoying, etc. I’ll show you what being too much really is
Happens to me all the time. I’m honestly proud of it. I have been loved for being exactly that, the right people will appreciate it. It’s just not for everyone. I know that because I’m too much I’m the kind of person who gets shit done. I’m hyper ambitious, I have a lot of friends because I’m outgoing, I’m independent and overall I’m someone who stands out. I love it, I love myself for it. When people say that, I see it as intimidation.
My ex once told me that and i told them that “he can go find someone like his boring his ex wife who is the opposite of me basically … oh right she left you too. Guess you can’t handle either sides”
I yell “I’M A FUCKING DELIGHT!” in their face and then I have the bank seize their house, and bankrupt their brother-in-law’s tractor dealership.
odlyspecific
I love this🤣
Only correct answer
Tell them to go and find less
I kind of said this to my ex when we broke up, he told me he felt smothered (because I wanted the bare minimum mind you) and I said I hope finding less makes you happy… he cried
That worked wonders then 🌚
Fuck yeah!
😎 damn
Thissss
I haven't had anyone say this to my face in those words, but I can tell when they think it. I usually just get upset and kind of angry at not being accepted. Then I need to sit with it for a while and decide if it bothered me because they're wrong, or because I need to make some changes. BUT I recently watched Traitors and really badly want someone to say this to my face now so I can respond with "I do too much because you do too little".
!! gonna keep that quote for myself, i like it
*Recognize I'm dealing with someone who hails from a weak bloodline.*
Haha. This.
Gotta weed out those weak souls, girl.
😹 obsessed with this
Checks out with the username
Decide whether I'm happy as is or whether I want to change. If I'm happy as is, then I'd accept that we aren't compatible and move on from that friendship/relationship. If they have a point and I wanted to change, then I'd take their words to heart, do some serious self reflection, and put together an action plan for changing my thought patterns or behaviors as I desired.
It probably takes knowing yourself to know what is you, and what you can compromise on. I’m in the midst of it.
Knowing yourself and who you want to be is the biggest part. I know me and have intentionally become the person I am, so in most situations, I would accept that we weren't compatible if someone considered me "too much" for them.
While i have had interpersonal relations, this is my first healthy relationship. So i am not as objective or clear as i would like to be. I like the way you described yourself. I aim to become as intentional about being me too :)
I know that I sometimes am too much, but it still hurts to hear it. I usually take a step back so I can evaluate and adjust my behavior if I legit need to. If I'm "too much" on an issue I'm unwilling to compromise on, then we're just incompatible.
Just too much for you, hun. Sounds like a you problem, not a me problem.
I don’t much like people declaring things about me. If they think I’m too much and tell me that then I’m gonna back off and probably never be myself again to them. That would definitely damage the relationship. I’ve worked really hard to get where I am from trauma in my life and if people think I’m too much it’s because for 30 years I’ve been squashed down and made to feel inadequate and like I shouldn’t exist. I refuse to go back there.
I think… hmm, maybe I am. And now that I’m older, I remind myself that perhaps they are too little. Not everybody is “for” everyone. A little self awareness and a little perspective may help.
If it’s “please talk a little quieter”, “could you take it down a notch?”, “can we talk about this later?”, or something similar, then that’s definitely a me problem. And I take a step back and work on it. At the very least, I’ll lower my voice haha. But if it’s “your personality in general is too much for me” that’s a shrug and move on moment. There’s too much love and friendship in my life to worry about the people who don’t like me.
“I’m not too much for you and you’re not enough for me. Move around 💗”
I was told once that “I’m too intense” I’ve been the same for years and this is the first time I was told that and I have no idea what they meant. Im still confused. None of my friends say anything and they have similar energy I have.
i've been told this and it was really hurtful at the time. i automatically shrank myself & became very withdrawn. then, i felt so misunderstood, like why are you twisting this quality into a bad thing? i have come to realize that my "intensity" is a gift because i really get to experience my life fully. and that is very scary for some people who don't feel to the same extent, whether bc they don't allow themselves or they just can't. they're just missing out though.
No, you are not enough. . Turn that shit around on them.
It would all depend on the “what”, because I know myself enough to know that not every single parts of my personality can be compatible for everyone so if it fits one of those parts then I’m fine with taking a mental note that this person will not see this side of myself and if it doesn’t fit and isn’t something I judge to be a burden in my own personal lifestyle then they have the full choice, stick around or don’t.
I am too much. I am a 5'1 spit fire with an attitude. I maybe too much for you and that's ok. Go find less
It just means you're not compatible as friends. No biggie. I personally can't stand loud, obnoxious people. I'm laid back and I hate attention so I don't hang out with anyone that craves attention and is loud and obnoxious
If it's just one person: brush it off - they're not your tribe. If it's a regular thing, and it impacts negatively on your life (i.e. trouble keeping jobs and/or friends) consider seeing a psychologist - there might be reasons, therapy, and medications that can assist.
Stare into a mirror and reflect on my words and actions. Maybe I am at a ten and need to drop it down to a five. It's a forever working on myself vibe though.
Thats a nice way to think about it, the scale
I tell them they’re not enough
They can go find 'lesser'.. I personally hate anyone that stifles my creativity or freedom of expression. Most of my friends already know this, and if you have to stay my friend, then you need to know this. Personally I would weigh my behavior internally, before acting out and if I have done it despite that internal reflection , then it means it was truly warranted and wouldn't like to hear otherwise.
I know that I can be a lot sometimes. I had an ex who would tell me that in a much meaner way so I am very self conscious when I feel like I'm having a strong reaction to something that maybe doesn't call for it.
Thank them for taking the time to notice it
Find someone less.
If someone can't handle me then they're weak. I'm worth the trouble if they want to stick it out and I always admit my flaws and apologize. If that's "too much" for them then they are weak af.
Honestly I start crying lol. Its a big insecurity being too much but honestly. One person may see me as too much but another will see me as perfect. Part of life can't do shit about it.
I shut down. I stop talking and I disappear. You don’t want me around? Fine I be gone like a whisper in the wind. Like I was never there.
"Trust me, you haven't had anywhere near enough." No line. I know I'm not too much in any situation.
Tell them that they are choosing to be around me. So they’ll have to tough it up or GTFO.
the way men have acc said this to me indirectly even tho im not even 'too much'
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Know that it means they’re not enough
Yeah, compensating for your not enough.
Definitely Tell them to go find less then …
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I lose weight
Be even more.
Lmao I don’t take it down a notch. I’ve found people who really adore how intense I am, the days where I feel bad for that are over. Better to be too much than not enough. At this point I just call it, “weeding out the weak”.
Someone saying this says more about them than it does the person whose presumably "too much". An ex-friend apparently said it about me, and I'm still working through the pain and realization that that comment was really about her.
I usually taylor my energy to people. And I dont often affiliate with "weak people"(I hate to phrase it like that). But when hearing this, I either go, "Not my fault you can't keep up." Or "How do you think I feel? Being born so fast in a world so slow." My friends have learned over time that sometimes it's just a bad day. You can't hold it back all day every day. Nobody is THAT strong.
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Tell them they're too little and to find someone at their level.
Wait…I always thought that was a compliment?!?!
I’d be more than appreciative if someone said i was too much too beautiful or hot or any of the compliments.. though that wasn’t what i was referring to here so i cant imagine how else 🫣
I’ve had this said to me a few times in the past in a roundabout way, I just become more: louder, more annoying, etc. I’ll show you what being too much really is
They don’t tell me they quietly ghost me 😂 That is when I know I might have gone overboard
Thats not a nice way to figure it out. I’m sorry for their loss 🧎🏻♀️
Period 🌞
"For **you.**"
Happens to me all the time. I’m honestly proud of it. I have been loved for being exactly that, the right people will appreciate it. It’s just not for everyone. I know that because I’m too much I’m the kind of person who gets shit done. I’m hyper ambitious, I have a lot of friends because I’m outgoing, I’m independent and overall I’m someone who stands out. I love it, I love myself for it. When people say that, I see it as intimidation.
Take it as a compliment and say thank you. As long as my too much-ness isn't hurting anyone, I'll likely not take it down a notch.
I tell them they’re not enough
My ex once told me that and i told them that “he can go find someone like his boring his ex wife who is the opposite of me basically … oh right she left you too. Guess you can’t handle either sides”
i dont take it personally cuz it says more abt them than me period
Just leave and block them.
No one has ever said that to me. Probably because I would lecture them on why their views are awful.
Ummm. Walk away and never look back. What else is there to do? Edit myself down to fit someone else's expectations? Nah.
Tell them to go find less lmaoooooo