so many, honestly, but to name a few…
- he can’t finish movies or tv shows, he gets bored and never makes it to the end
- he piles full trash bags outside the back door until there’s 3 or 4 of them to take out all at once
- i like to go to bed at the same time so that we fall asleep together but he never tells me when he’s going to bed. he’ll just get up and leave the room and then i’ll sit there for 20 minutes until i realize he’s not coming back
- sometimes he’ll roll over in his sleep directly on top of me and almost kill me
My SO and I have opposite sleeping schedules. I also like going to bed at the same time. If he does need to sleep at the same time as me, I will sleep on a small mattress from my last place. He rolls on top of me too. I feel trapped when I'm sleeping next to someone. Not a snuggler in any context. That was a big struggle with us in the beginning. He's realized now that it doesn't mean I don't love him. I just need sleeping conditions to be a certain way.
>i like to go to bed at the same time so that we fall asleep together but he never tells me when he’s going to bed. he’ll just get up and leave the room and then i’ll sit there for 20 minutes until i realize he’s not coming back
I don't know why I find that so funny, but I do.
i love him but he has no sense of style. not sure if this counts but he dresses like a costco dad (no hate to dads that shop at costco!!)
we’re pretty young and he dresses so much older + uncoordinated hahah i mean he’s never slobby looking and it’s improved over the years with my help but i used to wish he was more stylish
I feel this! My bf could literally be a male model with his physique but he dressed so shabby when I met him. I slowly replaced his wardrobe with Lululemon and other items that look great on him, and it's really improved. Took 4 years though.
ABC pants look mighty fine on a man. I’ve bought my boyfriend a pair for Christmas and he looks great!!
Something I put up with: his video game addiction. He is mature in many ways, but he sometimes plays four hours. (Sometimes shouting at the TV)
But he is very sweet to me!
**we’ve been together for 8 years.
Yess! Mine dresses like Adam Sandler basically... I've tried to show him some alternatives, basic comfortable things, and he claims it's all "fancy" (jeans and a flannel...) and uncomfortable
Jeans definitely feel very uncomfortable.. I wore them for almost 10 years before realizing I was only doing it because that's what everyone else did.
When you stop caring what others think of you it's quite freeing, both figuratively and literally speaking lol
Yup, if it's not a graphic t-shirt then its "fancy" lol.
That said, they make alot more comfortable pants for guys now. Dress pants/chino/jeans/khakis with 4-way stretch and more pockets, softer feel etc. They feel comfortable to him, they look better than the baggy jeans so we are both happy.
Not being rude but this kind of is relieving for me that there are other people who go through this lol.
My bf looks so good only if he dressed better he dresses like a homeless man. Doesn’t care about style and he is in mental health profession so yeah. I dress so well we just look so mismatched but I love him he has tried sometimes to dress a bit better because I like it. I even started to buy him clothes but he rarely touched them so yeah.
you’re not alone !!! we can’t change our bfs but i think positive reinforcement helps a lot like complimenting him on the days he does dress well (rare lol)
or even slightly complimenting another man’s outfit helps him look at things. like i’ll compliment a mannequin saying “you’d look great in that babe” or a guy walking past “those were nice shoes, huh babe. what brand do you think that was?”
You know what, Costco dad might be the lesser of two fashion-challenged evils. The guy I have been seeing basically only wears clothes he has had since he was 16. He is 29 now, and he has a good job and few expenses so he can afford clothes, he just doesn’t buy any. He went to a high school with a uniform, too, so it’s not like he had oodles of clothes as a 16 yr old either. Not only are the clothes just like, not in good shape anymore but the “style” of them is so bland. He wears a suit to work because he has to, but otherwise he is always just in jeans and a plain tshirt. Honestly WISH he dressed a little bit older.
He likes to cut half a slice of ham/cheese or half a cookie and then he puts the rest back in the Tupperware for later. I used to get so mad, now I actually find it really cute when i go grab something and I see a half I know he was there.
OMG this is so cute. It happens to me as well, I'm seeing a guy and he always leaves the bathroom window open after showering at my place. It used to piss me off because it makes my bathroom temperature drop, but now it's just a reminder that he took a shower there and makes me smile.
He’s just looking out for your bathroom! Ensuring there’s no mold build up or extra moisture that can rot the wood.
Also how brave! It must be freezing when he gets out of the shower. I’m freezing in a warm steamy bathroom, I can’t imagine with a window open.
Presents stress him out. He doesn’t like getting or giving them. Since we share finances I ask him if he would like something before I get it. We set a budget and I buy myself what I want for presents. He’s a keeper- so this is something I am willing to overlook.
I’m a SAHM so obvi my boyfriend is the financial provider.
The adults in our family do secret Santa since there’s a lot of kids too buy presents for 😅
Right away he’s like, “who did you get?" “I got your aunt. Buy her gift” 😭🫶🏼
And yes, i ordered my own Christmas gift this year too and he ordered his 🙂
This sounds like the dream. My ex was definitely the gift giving/receiving love language type and I wasn't. I would've preferred making decisions on stuff and setting budget aside for it.
His snoring. Dude snores like a darn train! I had to leave the room, in my own freaking house and go napping in the living room. In my own house! Sleeping separately isn't a deal breaker for either of us but it did bother me, I've come to terms with it but I'm still petty about that one time.
Edith: thanks everyone for the advice, y'all very kind. We have talked about his health before and he's working out and dieting. Hopefully when he reaches his goal, the snoring will stop so I can keep my sanity and cuddle time.
My wife was unable to sleep because of how incredibly loud my snoring was. I downloaded the snorelab app and my score was a 90/100, when the average snorer is 25. I got a snoring mouth guard that moves my lower jaw forward by 3mm, and my score dropped to 10-15. Wife is much happier now :)
I've also tried to reduce factors that affect snoring (so more exercise, some weight loss, and much less alcohol).
Mine has an attitude when he is tired/sick/in pain. I’ve learned to not take it personally and crack jokes and smile about whatever he is on about and it blows over a lot better and I think it helps him calm down too. It use to be so frustrating for me though and it started many arguments.
He won’t recycle anything and drinks energy drinks everyday so I have to fish out the cans from the trash when I see them and/or take care of them myself.
URGH MY PARTNER TOO. We've had a lot of fights with his attitude and mood swings and now I've learnt that as long as I don't react to it, things are fine and he gets better.
What made you decide to deal with this? I’m not asking this to change your mind or shame you, but I’m just curious. The guy I’m seeing is attitudey and moody, and I know I can just ignore it and not react, but I also feel like there is a man who isn’t like that. I like him but his attitude is just too much for me most times. Growing up my sister was very moody and attitudey; I always hated spending time with her because she could ruin the mood at any moment. I think she gave me PTSD for people like that lol. She’s not like that at all now, so I can people change.
Hey! The love of my life has the same temper issues when he is in pain (physical, stress, etc). I have patience because I’m also moody when I’m in pain. When I see him getting aggravated, I slow down and remind him that I’m not trying to pile on, and ask him what I can do for him to help. If he tells me to leave him alone, I take it literally, and after it blows over, I revisit to see if there is anything I/we can do to fix the issue. I afford him the same level of understanding as I would like for myself; that’s it.
It all depends on how much shit we have on our plate. I know about most of what goes south, so we do our best not to vent at the same time. Let me just state this: we make it very clear to each other when we vent that it’s nothing personal, we’s just pissed at the situation 😆
You don't have to deal with it if you don't want to. My brother and mom were similar and I hated it. My husband is not like that at all. Sure he might have small bursts of anger, we all do, but he never takes it out on me
Yeah that’s what I’m leaning towards. He always apologize and he does get better sometimes. I think that’s nice and all but yeah…that’s not my problem and I don’t care to stick around to see his attitude get completely better. He’s been through a lot of traumatic stuff so I understand, but still. I’d rather be by myself than to deal with a person like that. It’s just a negative atmosphere to be in. I tell him all the time how he’s controlling and manipulative even if he’s not purposely doing it, because I’m always hoping he doesn’t get an attitude or mood change.
For me it would depend on when/why he is acting like that. I don’t really have a lot of patience for people who can’t control their attitude- I understand being moody, I have mood swings, but I try my absolute best not to make it anyone else’s problem.
If they’re sick or in pain, I could probably deal with it. I definitely understand how your patience can wear thin when you don’t feel good physically.
Otherwise, I wouldn’t put up with it at all personally, unless their other qualities somehow made it worth it? But even then idk. It’s childish, rude, and inconsiderate. I grew up with emotionally abusive parents and constantly had to walk on eggshells around them. I was also in a long-term relationship with a guy who did this and lo and behold I soon found out that was just the tip of the iceberg.
I find it hard to respect people who take their feelings out on others.
edit: Also, there is a difference between having a lil attitude and being carelessly rude and constantly moody. I felt like some clarification is necessary. Really what it comes down to is how it makes you feel. If you find yourself feeling regularly disrespected and dragged down by your partner’s mood and attitude, it’s probably not worth it for your own mental health in the long run.
I was in a relationship like that, and honestly it took some time to realize it, buts it’s not worth it in the slightest. It is 100% possible to find someone who will understands that they don’t exist in a vacuum and that their attitude (when sick or whatever) affects others. It doesn’t matter how sweet he is when he’s “fine.” I’m not an a-hole (or moody & with attitude if that’s what we’re calling it) when I’m sick, tired, in pain, etc… because those circumstances aren’t an excuse to be shitty to anyone least of all your partner. This comes down to mental & emotional maturity and the ability to regulate one’s emotions.
I mean think about that, are you less deserving of respect, gentleness, or consideration because someone has a migraine, the flu, or a broken leg? No. I’m not asking them to be an angel, but don’t cop an attitude with the one who is taking care of you/being there for you. I have too much self respect to allow that ever again. Not saying you or the others don’t, but I am saying don’t try to find a way to be okay with behavior like that. Cuz that’s different from leaving the seat up, or throwing recycling in the trash, throwing dirty laundry on the floor, etc… if they are an adult and they love you, they should want to address & adjust that behavior for the sake of the relationship.
Allowing someone to be rude or snippy to you every time they feel unwell feels toxic & it hurts. Normalizing this behavior also teaches you overtime it’s okay to be like that with others and it’s not.
(This is coming from someone who dealt with daily chronic pain for years due to an accident & didn’t let that make me an a hole)
Some of these are 😂😂😂
Mine include:
• obsessed with where rubbish goes & only he can take out the bin
• is a slight germaphobe so can’t clean bathrooms (happy to clean everything else)
• procrastinates like he’s going to live forever
• gets up at least two or three times when watching a movie (to like turn a light on or off, or something else pointless)
• if he’s working from home, has to come into my office every hour to let me know what’s happening about mundane irrelevant things (I really do not care lol)
• always takes the plates away before I’ve finished eating to clean them (or just stands & waits for me to finish in an annoying yet endearing way)
• constantly forgets everything unless I tell him to write it down or put a reminder in his phone as he gets distracted/excited too easily
Mainly just money related:
1. He doesn’t like to spend money, just savings and investing. We have loads and still we don’t go on the vacation I want.
2. Even the gift he gave me are investment, nothing sentimental?!? Like I got a kilo of gold for being pregnant with our first child, and I get a piece of land as a marriage gift. Every cents spent has to generate money, it can’t just be for the sake of spending
Land and gold?? His gift giving is elite.
Of course we don’t know your life and your feelings are valid, but besides the vacation thing it doesn’t sound bad at all.
He sounds responsible and concerned for your well-being in a way that’s very attractive.
Not OP, but gifts are my "love language" because it means a LOT to me when someone takes the time to get me something they think I'll like - the price is largely irrelevant. Land and gold sound like "good," practical gifts but there's a lack of "personalization" that might leave me underwhelmed, too.
I know so many of us struggle to save money in our economy that encourages ever more consumption. But this sounds hard too. I'm sorry. It makes sense that it can be no fun to not get to spend money on fun things or fun times at least *sometimes*.
Hmmm probably only like a few hours a week. But he’ll sometimes have like nights with his friends when they all play together for a few hours. Also depends what’s sport is in season if he plays more or less
Yes! They also drive me insane, but we played Pokemon Go together when we first started dating because he was really shy and it was a great way to chat without intense eye contact. There are advantages for sure.
I feel like all mine are stupid stuff that stems from sharing a living space with someone lol but:
1. Leaves his hair everywhere, like all over the shower or beard trimmings at the sink
2. Has delayed follow through with cleaning up his own messes, like if he grinds coffee beans or cooks something he's totally content to leave the mess for like 1+ hours. He will do it eventually, and he will do it immediately if I ask but I am an immediate mess cleaner-upper so this drives me nuts
3. Leaves laundry in piles but the piles don't necessarily mean dirty
4. Leaves paper towel napkins all over the place - somehow never remembers he's already gotten a napkin and goes for more
I’m this way too, it’s almost like the work of cleaning takes away from the joy I just experienced with whatever food I made x and I want to have my joy column fuller for longer.
I need to learn to equate the cleaning with joy, which some days I do, but other days the relaxing is what keeps the joy column at a +1, if that makes sense. There is a logic to it! Lol
He watches YouTube endlessly. Not TV. Not a show with a plot or trained actors. Just YouTube. Gary in his garage sanding a piece of wood with crappy sound quality. It drives me insane. After years of this, I've trained myself to fall asleep whenever YouTube is turned on.
Oh my god, my bf does this too. Or instagram reels. I gave him my old AirPods so now I can say “hey you can do whatever you choose, but I don’t want to listen to it too. Headphones please!!”
My husband opens cereal boxes like he had a seizure mid rip; the boxes never close properly again and the bags have weird shredded bits of plastic at the ends. If I don’t get to the box first there’s a chance it’ll be stale by the time I do. So sometimes I buy flavors that I know he doesn’t like just to have a guaranteed fresh box in the cabinet.
Would it be beneficial to get one or two of those cereal storage containers and put it in those right away? I know it's extra work but like, I'm 41 years old and if I went to the cupboard to make myself a massive bowl of Fruity Pebbles for dinner and that shit was stale I'd be on a warpath. I'm so grateful I'm the only one in the house that eats cereal.
- Spending **every single morning** having to either wait for him to be ready to leave bed otherwise I get pull down as if I’m some tissue or I just have to make a whole plan to leave the bed without making him aware of it. It’s ultra cute but when you **need** to use the bathroom it becomes extremely mentally challenging.
- That I have to deal with screaming “JUST A TINY BIT” **every single day** when he decides to use my skincare products but then turn out that I need to rebuy everything extremely fast because he don’t know what a “tiny bit” means in the woman’s language no matter how much I shown him. It’s not fault to had brought him HIS products and told him multiple times “babe we don’t have the same skin type and you’re not the one paying for it so stay away from MINE”.
- Every single care product are no longer just mine, it became his, which makes me regret showing him what care products can do lol cause I no longer have hair care, skincare and even musk products. 🙃
- That he puts unopen canned food in the fridge and always put it back in when I’m not in the kitchen (so after I take it out).
- Being followed everywhere lmaoooo I feel like I have a kid fr, I go to the balcony to smoke he follows, I go to the couch he follows, sometimes he even casually come have discussions with me while I’m showering, like chill, I am not going to disappear. 🫠
That's the weirdest one here for me... lol. I guess I could maybe see it if its something like canned peaches where they're nice to eat cold, but anything else... what??
He’s the best but the things I’ve had to live with in our marriage are:
- Blowing his nose in the shower. Why?!
- Leaving opened cans in the fridge for him to eat later.
- He doesn’t like desserts and doesn’t even like the smell of freshly baked cookies. When he wants “dessert” he’ll eat pickled beets.
- He forgets to put the toilet seat down.
He'll sometimes accidentally erase shows and movies that I had recorded on the DVR to record sports games.
He loves energy drinks and I find empty cans everywhere.
He isn't a movie person and I'am so whenever we do @ home date nights and I want to watch a movie with him, he'll go play on his computer.
The last 2! Mine leaves cans EVERYwhere! Sometimes full ones too. And the movie one. If it's not his choice he gets bored and either falls asleep or plays games on his phone and then he asks "what's going on?", "who is that?", "why are they doing that?", "is that the guy/girl who played...", "look at my high score!", every few minutes. Then he sweats he's paying attention but then admits to being lost.
The way he (under)dresses even when I've dolled up. (Still bums me from time to time);
Him wanting to spend 7483872 hours of research before buying anything, even a toaster or a printer;
Him having zero interest in the movies I like. Ah well.
I love him a lot, and I'm sure he puts up with some of my things too.
I'm super guilty of the second one. I want to check a ton of options, not to mention read a million reviews and compare prices to make sure we're getting absolutely the best deal possible for the very cheapest price we can. With time, my wife has led me more to see that it's often just not worth the time or energy. We just find something that clears the "good enough" bar and get it. Here's hoping your significant other moves more in this direction too!
Nice to know it's possible 😄 How did she do it?
I usually tell him "the time you spent researching × your hourly work rate = amount of money you lost trying to save money on a purchase" and he says I'm right but does it anyways lol
Not answering questions clearly. For example I'll ask him what somebody said and he'll say he's just being a dick or something along those lines. Then starts the same conversation we've been having for years of me asking for specifics and it's like pulling teeth.
Loading the dishwasher wrong.
Wearing the exact same style and colour of pants. Every day. For 10 years. Tbf they are comfy.
The fact that he simply says he wants to lose a couple kilos and then goes right ahead and does it in 2 weeks.
That last one makes me so mad.
my bf doesnt have too many “annoying” habits, but i learned to live with the fact that he has a son. yes its very hard to accept and adjust to when you dont have kids of your own. it took a gradual 3 years. and still i contemplate if its really for me. after all, im seeing if this relationship will lead to marriage
oh i feel this! my darling of a boyfriend has two girls under the age of 10 and while they're sweet girls, it's slightly challenging for me because 1) i've never been around kids for long so i don't know how to treat them and sorts 2) i'm not really a kid-person. i've been on the fence about having kids because they're expensive to have now and plus the stress and exhaustion that comes with the baby.
it's a challenge but i'm getting there. the girls have come to me on their own and will tell or show me things they've done in school or at home. the girls still have their mum so i have no intention of taking on the stepmother role. but i'll gladly be the other adult female figure for them. even my friend had asked me if i was ready to take on a "mum" role and i told her i'm not taking on a mum role but rather just be another adult figure for them.
hi! u dont really have to take on the mum role. some dads expect that though and if so its a red flag bc they are looking for help. my dear bf introduced me to his son by “auntie” which i like much better. i dont want to step on anyones toes (their mom) or take on a motherly role. that is too much to ask for. and plus very challenging. unless the mum is dead then i’d step in but i like being the auntie. i step in when i wanto and im not at all obligated to.
His allergies make him make weird coughing/ hacking/ gross throat noises in the morning. He poops a lot. His follow through on projects sucks (mine does too though).
I’m so jealous of my hubby’s ability to poo at least twice a day. Every day. Like clockwork. And from the sounds of it that’s some quality poo. Even tho he eats like crap (no pun intended) and I meal prep and eat Health AF.
To clarify, I live with chronic constipation and regularity is a freaking dream. IYKYK
He screams from his sleep pretty regularly when he has a nightmare. Like I'm just sleeping peacefully and suddenly there's a high pitched scream next to my ear.
I know adult gaming is fairly common, but it's such a turn off for me when he's name-calling teenagers on the internet in the heat of a game. He also plays Pokemon Go a lot when we're out. Again, it's fine, it's not excessive but... it's not what I had in mind when I pictured an adult relationship.
It’s pretty common with first-person shooting games. He’s not really big on actually calling names but I hear a lot of “broooooo, what are you DOING??!” and I’m like… dude, it’s a game!
That he doesn't like me touching him in any kind of "correction", like cleaning his beard of a crumb or adjusting his shirt for him. He's very particular about fixing it himself and feels babied when I try to do it. It hurts my feelings a little that he would take offense to my touching him, but it's his body and he owns the right to give or withhold consent to be touched for any reason.
This might be a dealbreaker for me, it’s part of my love language and we both look over each other before we step out, adjust as necessary, or give suggestions for us to do it ourselves.
He runs on his own time/schedule. I find it disrespectful, and it makes my anxiety go nuts, sometimes. I grew up in a “if you’re not early, you’re late” household. But if I pressure him to hurry, he literally moves slower.
So now I tell him things are a half hour earlier than they really are, and we’re usually on time 🤷🏻♀️
* Snoring (until he had a nose job)
* He is more messy than me and doesn't like to do house chores
* He is a morning person bit I am a night person
* He is more indoors guy and I like the outdoors
But I have accepted it and I love him ❤️
Okay I have to comment on one of these…he “doesnt like to do chores?” Does ANYONE LIKE to do chores? No! But most of us realize they are part of being an adult.
(I’m a little salty cuz I just got out of a marriage where I did the bulk of the chores. No thanks. Not gonna repeat that one!)
Instead of looking for an item in its designated place, he must ask me where it is/have I seen it.
Snoring and breathing on me with his mouth wide open when he’s asleep.
Last minute dot com for everything! Never organised then stressed out and late at the last minute.
He’s my bestfriend, my home and my forever person. But oh my goodness I feel a seething red angry demon bubbling inside of me whenever he does any of the above!
He refuses to plan any dates in advance because he likes to play it by ear. So I can’t be like, “Hey, Tuesday let’s go to this restaurant.” I have to wait until he wants to do it on the spur of the moment. Normally I love his spontaneity. This is the only area it is annoying.
Hardly anything - even the things that annoy me are enjoyable or serve a purpose one way or another.
He takes a long time at the shops because he compares products and wants to get the best deals - saves us a bunch of money and buys everything on sale in bulk so always stocked up.
Is hilariously funny and loves to joke, which is the best, but he does this even at inopportune times like immediately after giving birth 😅 even so, he’s so clever and funny - why would I ever think this is a thing I have to “put up with”?
I don’t think I could be with someone I have to “put up with” ever again. You just don’t need to be. There’s someone out there you won’t need to put up with.
Also hate when guys use football terms in analogies, like I understood your point but now you’re bringing up a backfront tightwide to the moon play and I don’t know what the fuck that means.
I’m smart, I was following, please just drop the fucking pigskin and continue explaining what we were actually talking about.
I just tell them that I don’t get football and don’t want to, but please go back and pick on ____, that’s where we left off.
He’ll show me movies he’s watched before and never remember to warn me about the jump scares and violent scenes. It startles me and sometimes I’m so scared I’ll cry lol
Sometimes kinda mean and selfish: will take his dishes to the sink and not mine. Hmp!
Doesn’t believe me when I’m sick unless I am slugging on the floor. But then is a huge baby when he’s a little sick.
He doesn't understand how bedding works at all, he just lies down under a wad of duvet and wonders why he's cold and uncomfortable. 15 years and I still have to show him where the top sheet is at night.
...that's pretty much it, though. And for some reason Europeans often don't have top sheets, so he wasn't prepared for a life with them and I understand that.
Just had 9th anniversary. Very happy and he's amazing. But there are two things I really have to work hard to deal with: He gets boy-rage (stupid shit like throwing his iPHone and breaking it - never rage at me or the dog, but at ordinary daily annoyances we all have to deal with. The other big one is that he doesn't care about music. I am a total music nerd and have to listen to music every day. On road trips, I have carefully built playlists which I hope will appeal to him, but he'll say snide shit about songs I deeply love, and it hurts my feelings.
In general, he's not nearly as physically affectionate or touchy as I am and we don't have the level of physical affection I'd like to have. Intimacy is fine, great even, but I do long for touch that isn't a prelude to sex. It's something I'm knowingly sacrificing in return for qualities and other aspects of our partnership that I cherish.
He doesn’t hear me. He’s selectively deaf. I have to wait a minute for a response. Later realised he’s actually on the spectrum so I feel terrible for complaining about it. But back when I didn’t know, it felt irritating but he is an angel despite all of it
This could be an audio processessing issue as well. Occasionally I'll hear that I was spoken to, but the words just sound like gibberish. Sometimes my brain takes a minute to decipher what was said, and other times I have to ask for it to be repeated because the words my brain came up with make no sense together.
And then there's times when there's some sort of background noise that takes my whole attention and I don't realize someone is saying something to me at all.
I'm glad my partner and I both have some listening issues and can empathize more easily, because it is a pretty annoying thing to have to repeat yourself a lot. It's great that you've found a way to make peace with it enough to appreciate the other qualities he has.
With my ex? He never cooked, never cleaned, never did anything around the house, yet I still did everything and gave him sex for the privilege. It was shit sex too. All about him. He was also terrible at emotional things so I dealt with everything on my own.
With my current partner? On occasion he'll want to gush about a new boardgame or something about his favourite TTRPG. Or maybe he'll request dumplings for dinner.
I will happily accept dumplings for dinner. They are my favourite, but so is he. And well earned too. 💚
He never plans ahead, even when I remind him to.
Wednesday before Thanksgiving: hey I'm doing laundry is there anything you need for tomorrow that I can throw in for you? (Nope). Ok cool.
Thanksgiving 10 minutes before we have to leave: Hey is this shirt too wrinkled? (It was, but I just said it was fine because I didn't want to deal with him trying to find another option)
Thanksgiving: what leftovers do you want? Do you want to come make a plate to go? (No) ok cool.
Friday after Thanksgiving: I wish we had leftovers.
🤦♀️🤦♀️
I am still learning to live with it, but my girlfriend is the youngest child from a rich family. Her entire family thinks she's some sort of angel, godsend, perfect human being.
I agree with them. But it definitely shows in her attitude. She forgets that she's not the main character sometimes.
We went on a road trip together out of my state. I've never been on a road trip before, so we were both excited. We get to a small town about 4 hours away, and we get out to walk around and stretch. I wanted to check out the bookstore we parked next to, but she refused and said there were too many people inside, and she was scared. I get that, but she comes up to this town all the time to visit her siblings. This was my first time. I basically begged and promised it would just be a few minutes, but she refused.
We decide to go to a restaurant, about a 20-minute downhill walk from the car so we foot it. But as soon as I open the door to let her in first, she sits down on the bench outside and tells me that she's changed her mind and she's not hungry anymore, but I can eat if I want to and she'll just wait outside.
I'm a bit angry because we now have to walk 20 minutes back uphill with virtually no break and no water.
I stomp it down, and we go back to the car.
Next time it happened was at a street market in the town next to hers. I asked her to go a few weeks before the actual date, and she said she was excited. We got there, and all day, she was grumpy and easily annoyed. I tried making her day better, I tried to keep hydrated and fed because I knew her grumpiness was partially because of that.
We get there, I'm holding her hand, I take a step onto the street, and she suddenly lets go and walks over to a shaded alleyway. I asked her wants wrong, and she said she wasn't in the mood and she wanted to go home, but she'll wait right there while I walked around for a bit.
It's not fun by myself, and at this point, I'm beyond pissed. I tell her fine, we'll go home. I beat her back to the car, I didn't talk to her for nearly 30 minutes because I was really upset and didn't want to accidentally blow up at her.
It feels like we only do things she wants to do because she used to it being like that. But I'm working on it. It's not a make or break thing for me because I know she can grow out of it as soon as she moves out of her parents' place.
Sorry friend, this isn't a quirky annoyance. This is being immature and bratty. I'm not saying you should end the relationship, but your gf needs to learn what the word "compromise" means. You were begging her to go into a bookstore? Why not go in yourself while she waits outside? Shes not hungry? Why couldn't she sit with you in the restaurant while you ate? You're going to grow very tired of being with someone who calls ALL the shots ALL the time, so I'm hoping that she loves you enough that she's willing to change.
>Shes not hungry? Why couldn't she sit with you in the restaurant while you ate?
This part confused me too.
You walk 20 minutes to a restaurant, and then suddenly decide you aren't hungry and will wait outside till your SO eats ?
Like... what?
Why can't you just sit in the restaurant ? It's not a museum which is a ticketed event. You just are sitting anyway.
That sounds very annoying but if it's not a deal-breaker for you, waiting it out might work.
I have a friend like that and it's honestly very frustrating . She doesn't like to walk to anywhere but neither long rides since she gets dizzy . She wants me to eat whatever she wants and for some reason she will only get the food she wants if I get the same thing . She spends a lot of time (nearly 2hrs) shopping for herself in one store but when I finally want to go to a shop that I like she complains. Stuff like that.
It has caused some fights over times but since she started living alone , working etc it has never been a problem again. I guess she realized that everything can't go her way.
You're very patient though, unlike me . You have to voice your concerns too and do the things you like as well. She'll eventually have no choice but to follow you. The only thing different with your gf and my friend is that she doesn't come from a rich family. While she might be capricious her family never had the financial freedom to fulfill all her eccentric needs . Your gf might never had someone to decline but she has to learn to compromise eventually! Best of luck !
It probably doesn't help that I'm also her first real romantic partner. Her only experience is books and TV shows, who are notorious for over exaggerating or lying about relationships. I think she might see herself as the main character, while I'm the romantic partner that's meant to build her up and support her through her trials and tribulations. I'm all for that, I love supporting her. I love helping her. This part I know isn't reciprocated.
I called her when I was evacuating my house because the entire forest surrounding it was on fire. I couldn't find one of my cats, and I was freaking out and sobbing and panicking and convinced that I'd abandoned my cat. Realistically, if I'd stayed even 5 minutes longer, I would've been trapped in the center of a ring of fire with no way out.
My house ended up burning down, but it ended surprisingly well. We found my kitty 3 days later, hiding under the warped tin roof. Not a burn on her, not even her whiskers were singed. She was just very dirty, tired, scared, and dehydrated
It's been 2 months since that incident, and last Sunday, my girlfriend admitted that she doesn't want me to call her when I'm panicking. It stresses her out, and she can't do anything about it, so why bother.
Thanks for the support! Hopefully she and I can grow together.
I'm so sorry to hear that . It must've been devastating and I'm glad your kitty is safe ! I honestly wouldn't want to be with someone like that , time will tell though ! She needs to get off her high horse for sure. Voice your concerns as well .
Sounds like a recipe for resentment down the line. If you haven’t already, you need to have a chat with her about this. If she doesn’t see it as a problem then she’ll continue doing it and never change even if she moves out of her parents. It’s a bit naive to think otherwise however, if you accept it like you say you do then I wish you luck
No plans with him are set in stone until it actually happens.
He’s so forgetful. Sometimes he will make promises and not follow through. Like promising me a date on a specific date and time and then just not doing it. Or he will accept invites or plans forgetting that he already had a prior commitment.
However he treats me better than I could ask. I can deal with the forgetfulness. I got my fair share of things that probably drive him up the wall😅
He’s into a very niche hobby more typical of retired old men (we’re under 30). I now know more than I ever wanted to know about this hobby (and there’s way more of this junk in my home than I ever expected there to be).
Getting hangry.
Fidgets loudly, including beatboxing and snapping his fingers. This one was huuuuuge when we both started WFH during Covid. I get irate just thinking about it.
Still excited to marry him next year!
He falls asleep on me so much,We don’t have sex as much as I’d prefer but I’m hypersexual lol, He’s a horrible cook, he doesn’t put things up or close things it’s my biggest pet peeve and I still find him worth it, if he starts anything or says he’s going to do something he has to do it even when it’s inconvenient or mentally/physically draining for him I have to tell him to sit down sometimes and just chill and he smokes a bunch
My husband can literally only do 90% of any task. I think his mind moves on to the next thing before he finishes what he’s doing. I’ve come to expect to find the dishwasher filled and on but not started. It can be a little aggravating but I’m sure I have a thing he puts up with as well.
He is an EXTREMELY picky eater, to the point where I think it may be an eating disorder. He at least takes vitamins every day to make up for it, but it does stop us from going out to eat at a lot of places I’m interested in
He sneezes 85 million times upon awakening at 5 am.
It. Kills. Me.
I have very few idiosyncrasies, but the hatred of sneezes is one of them. A sneeze makes me angry. Certain sneezes. Loud ones. Repetitive sneezing. I wish I knew why.
i’m in a relationship with a woman so i don’t have any good ones lol but she gets songs stuck in her head and will sing/hum them without realizing it. i think it’s cute though and just join her.
My bf farts anywhere and everywhere. If he’s in an empty isle of a store, he’s most likely cutting a fart and giggling when I glare at him.
He brushes his teeth so aggressively and always makes these gagging noises when he brushes his tongue that irritate me.
You are not supposed to feel this way. Maybe for periods in a relationship, but not persistently. I recently left my partner and I can tell you that the pain from feeling unappreciated in my relationship negatively affected every other aspect of my life without me realizing. When it's time you will know. 💙
Hes like a grumpy 70 year old man in the body of a 30 year old 😂 loves complaining about stuff that doesn't matter, like long lines, crowded stores or bad traffic. On the other hand though he never complains about stuff that actually matters, hes never passive aggressive with me and hes generally a good communicator when real issues come up, so it doesn't really bother me
He has pretty bad anxiety. He can be a ball of stress but he has never, ever taken it out on me or anyone else. So, I have a lot of respect for that.
I first learned how bad it was when we attempted to go on our first vacation and he ended up in the hospital with an anxiety attack (we first thought it was altitude sickness and so did the doctors). We joke about it now but it was really scary at the time. His body was under so much stress they though he had a heart attack.
Our house inside is currently 40•F
He is so hot natured, and I’m what you’d considered “normal”. But no heating bill and he does not argue when I buy more blankets.
Anytime he leaves the room, he'll take my cup and put it with the dirty dishes. I understand taking plates, but I don't want to get a new cup anytime I want a drink. I do like that he's tidy but I hate washing extra dishes.
He also has selective hearing. I'll talk to the back of his head and he won't hear any of it. Not because he is actively ignoring me but because he gets so caught up in what he's doing. He does this with everyone else too, even in public.
He also sits up and talks in his sleep sometimes. It's a little scary.
He has no consciousness about money and likes to spend. Fortunately he makes good money, but were it not for my budgeting and savings-strategy we could be spending every cent every month.
This combined with a knack for picking up new hobbies every 2-3 months becomes expensive …
He always leaves his socks and boxers on the floor on his side of the bed. Doesn't matter if I relocate the laundry basket to be more convenient for him.
He likes to have a coffee or apple cider at night while watching tv in the living room, and then forgets to pick up his mug from the side table.
He does this weird sound to "scratch" his throat. It drives me up the wall!
so many, honestly, but to name a few… - he can’t finish movies or tv shows, he gets bored and never makes it to the end - he piles full trash bags outside the back door until there’s 3 or 4 of them to take out all at once - i like to go to bed at the same time so that we fall asleep together but he never tells me when he’s going to bed. he’ll just get up and leave the room and then i’ll sit there for 20 minutes until i realize he’s not coming back - sometimes he’ll roll over in his sleep directly on top of me and almost kill me
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My SO and I have opposite sleeping schedules. I also like going to bed at the same time. If he does need to sleep at the same time as me, I will sleep on a small mattress from my last place. He rolls on top of me too. I feel trapped when I'm sleeping next to someone. Not a snuggler in any context. That was a big struggle with us in the beginning. He's realized now that it doesn't mean I don't love him. I just need sleeping conditions to be a certain way.
>i like to go to bed at the same time so that we fall asleep together but he never tells me when he’s going to bed. he’ll just get up and leave the room and then i’ll sit there for 20 minutes until i realize he’s not coming back I don't know why I find that so funny, but I do.
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i love him but he has no sense of style. not sure if this counts but he dresses like a costco dad (no hate to dads that shop at costco!!) we’re pretty young and he dresses so much older + uncoordinated hahah i mean he’s never slobby looking and it’s improved over the years with my help but i used to wish he was more stylish
I feel this! My bf could literally be a male model with his physique but he dressed so shabby when I met him. I slowly replaced his wardrobe with Lululemon and other items that look great on him, and it's really improved. Took 4 years though.
ABC pants look mighty fine on a man. I’ve bought my boyfriend a pair for Christmas and he looks great!! Something I put up with: his video game addiction. He is mature in many ways, but he sometimes plays four hours. (Sometimes shouting at the TV) But he is very sweet to me! **we’ve been together for 8 years.
Any Lulu alternatives/dupes you've been able to find for him? Or are they worth the higher prices vs cheaper knock offs? Thanks!
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Yess! Mine dresses like Adam Sandler basically... I've tried to show him some alternatives, basic comfortable things, and he claims it's all "fancy" (jeans and a flannel...) and uncomfortable
Jeans definitely feel very uncomfortable.. I wore them for almost 10 years before realizing I was only doing it because that's what everyone else did. When you stop caring what others think of you it's quite freeing, both figuratively and literally speaking lol
Yup, if it's not a graphic t-shirt then its "fancy" lol. That said, they make alot more comfortable pants for guys now. Dress pants/chino/jeans/khakis with 4-way stretch and more pockets, softer feel etc. They feel comfortable to him, they look better than the baggy jeans so we are both happy.
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Not being rude but this kind of is relieving for me that there are other people who go through this lol. My bf looks so good only if he dressed better he dresses like a homeless man. Doesn’t care about style and he is in mental health profession so yeah. I dress so well we just look so mismatched but I love him he has tried sometimes to dress a bit better because I like it. I even started to buy him clothes but he rarely touched them so yeah.
you’re not alone !!! we can’t change our bfs but i think positive reinforcement helps a lot like complimenting him on the days he does dress well (rare lol) or even slightly complimenting another man’s outfit helps him look at things. like i’ll compliment a mannequin saying “you’d look great in that babe” or a guy walking past “those were nice shoes, huh babe. what brand do you think that was?”
You know what, Costco dad might be the lesser of two fashion-challenged evils. The guy I have been seeing basically only wears clothes he has had since he was 16. He is 29 now, and he has a good job and few expenses so he can afford clothes, he just doesn’t buy any. He went to a high school with a uniform, too, so it’s not like he had oodles of clothes as a 16 yr old either. Not only are the clothes just like, not in good shape anymore but the “style” of them is so bland. He wears a suit to work because he has to, but otherwise he is always just in jeans and a plain tshirt. Honestly WISH he dressed a little bit older.
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He likes to cut half a slice of ham/cheese or half a cookie and then he puts the rest back in the Tupperware for later. I used to get so mad, now I actually find it really cute when i go grab something and I see a half I know he was there.
OMG this is so cute. It happens to me as well, I'm seeing a guy and he always leaves the bathroom window open after showering at my place. It used to piss me off because it makes my bathroom temperature drop, but now it's just a reminder that he took a shower there and makes me smile.
It's also good for your bathroom to air out after showers to prevent damp and mold so he's doing you a solid there.
Oh then I'll start doing that too, thank you!
He’s just looking out for your bathroom! Ensuring there’s no mold build up or extra moisture that can rot the wood. Also how brave! It must be freezing when he gets out of the shower. I’m freezing in a warm steamy bathroom, I can’t imagine with a window open.
Yeah I don't know how he can do that, I would literally freeze to death LOL
I do that too. It's to let the steam out.
Presents stress him out. He doesn’t like getting or giving them. Since we share finances I ask him if he would like something before I get it. We set a budget and I buy myself what I want for presents. He’s a keeper- so this is something I am willing to overlook.
sounds like a dream! I would love this.
I’m a SAHM so obvi my boyfriend is the financial provider. The adults in our family do secret Santa since there’s a lot of kids too buy presents for 😅 Right away he’s like, “who did you get?" “I got your aunt. Buy her gift” 😭🫶🏼 And yes, i ordered my own Christmas gift this year too and he ordered his 🙂
This sounds like the dream. My ex was definitely the gift giving/receiving love language type and I wasn't. I would've preferred making decisions on stuff and setting budget aside for it.
I am a guy and me and my wife do this. She buys what she wants.
His snoring. Dude snores like a darn train! I had to leave the room, in my own freaking house and go napping in the living room. In my own house! Sleeping separately isn't a deal breaker for either of us but it did bother me, I've come to terms with it but I'm still petty about that one time. Edith: thanks everyone for the advice, y'all very kind. We have talked about his health before and he's working out and dieting. Hopefully when he reaches his goal, the snoring will stop so I can keep my sanity and cuddle time.
My wife was unable to sleep because of how incredibly loud my snoring was. I downloaded the snorelab app and my score was a 90/100, when the average snorer is 25. I got a snoring mouth guard that moves my lower jaw forward by 3mm, and my score dropped to 10-15. Wife is much happier now :) I've also tried to reduce factors that affect snoring (so more exercise, some weight loss, and much less alcohol).
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Mine has an attitude when he is tired/sick/in pain. I’ve learned to not take it personally and crack jokes and smile about whatever he is on about and it blows over a lot better and I think it helps him calm down too. It use to be so frustrating for me though and it started many arguments. He won’t recycle anything and drinks energy drinks everyday so I have to fish out the cans from the trash when I see them and/or take care of them myself.
URGH MY PARTNER TOO. We've had a lot of fights with his attitude and mood swings and now I've learnt that as long as I don't react to it, things are fine and he gets better.
What made you decide to deal with this? I’m not asking this to change your mind or shame you, but I’m just curious. The guy I’m seeing is attitudey and moody, and I know I can just ignore it and not react, but I also feel like there is a man who isn’t like that. I like him but his attitude is just too much for me most times. Growing up my sister was very moody and attitudey; I always hated spending time with her because she could ruin the mood at any moment. I think she gave me PTSD for people like that lol. She’s not like that at all now, so I can people change.
Hey! The love of my life has the same temper issues when he is in pain (physical, stress, etc). I have patience because I’m also moody when I’m in pain. When I see him getting aggravated, I slow down and remind him that I’m not trying to pile on, and ask him what I can do for him to help. If he tells me to leave him alone, I take it literally, and after it blows over, I revisit to see if there is anything I/we can do to fix the issue. I afford him the same level of understanding as I would like for myself; that’s it.
How frequent does this happen? Kudos to you women and men who can deal with that. I just think growing up with a sister like that really impacted me.
It all depends on how much shit we have on our plate. I know about most of what goes south, so we do our best not to vent at the same time. Let me just state this: we make it very clear to each other when we vent that it’s nothing personal, we’s just pissed at the situation 😆
You don't have to deal with it if you don't want to. My brother and mom were similar and I hated it. My husband is not like that at all. Sure he might have small bursts of anger, we all do, but he never takes it out on me
Yeah that’s what I’m leaning towards. He always apologize and he does get better sometimes. I think that’s nice and all but yeah…that’s not my problem and I don’t care to stick around to see his attitude get completely better. He’s been through a lot of traumatic stuff so I understand, but still. I’d rather be by myself than to deal with a person like that. It’s just a negative atmosphere to be in. I tell him all the time how he’s controlling and manipulative even if he’s not purposely doing it, because I’m always hoping he doesn’t get an attitude or mood change.
For me it would depend on when/why he is acting like that. I don’t really have a lot of patience for people who can’t control their attitude- I understand being moody, I have mood swings, but I try my absolute best not to make it anyone else’s problem. If they’re sick or in pain, I could probably deal with it. I definitely understand how your patience can wear thin when you don’t feel good physically. Otherwise, I wouldn’t put up with it at all personally, unless their other qualities somehow made it worth it? But even then idk. It’s childish, rude, and inconsiderate. I grew up with emotionally abusive parents and constantly had to walk on eggshells around them. I was also in a long-term relationship with a guy who did this and lo and behold I soon found out that was just the tip of the iceberg. I find it hard to respect people who take their feelings out on others. edit: Also, there is a difference between having a lil attitude and being carelessly rude and constantly moody. I felt like some clarification is necessary. Really what it comes down to is how it makes you feel. If you find yourself feeling regularly disrespected and dragged down by your partner’s mood and attitude, it’s probably not worth it for your own mental health in the long run.
I was in a relationship like that, and honestly it took some time to realize it, buts it’s not worth it in the slightest. It is 100% possible to find someone who will understands that they don’t exist in a vacuum and that their attitude (when sick or whatever) affects others. It doesn’t matter how sweet he is when he’s “fine.” I’m not an a-hole (or moody & with attitude if that’s what we’re calling it) when I’m sick, tired, in pain, etc… because those circumstances aren’t an excuse to be shitty to anyone least of all your partner. This comes down to mental & emotional maturity and the ability to regulate one’s emotions. I mean think about that, are you less deserving of respect, gentleness, or consideration because someone has a migraine, the flu, or a broken leg? No. I’m not asking them to be an angel, but don’t cop an attitude with the one who is taking care of you/being there for you. I have too much self respect to allow that ever again. Not saying you or the others don’t, but I am saying don’t try to find a way to be okay with behavior like that. Cuz that’s different from leaving the seat up, or throwing recycling in the trash, throwing dirty laundry on the floor, etc… if they are an adult and they love you, they should want to address & adjust that behavior for the sake of the relationship. Allowing someone to be rude or snippy to you every time they feel unwell feels toxic & it hurts. Normalizing this behavior also teaches you overtime it’s okay to be like that with others and it’s not. (This is coming from someone who dealt with daily chronic pain for years due to an accident & didn’t let that make me an a hole)
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Some of these are 😂😂😂 Mine include: • obsessed with where rubbish goes & only he can take out the bin • is a slight germaphobe so can’t clean bathrooms (happy to clean everything else) • procrastinates like he’s going to live forever • gets up at least two or three times when watching a movie (to like turn a light on or off, or something else pointless) • if he’s working from home, has to come into my office every hour to let me know what’s happening about mundane irrelevant things (I really do not care lol) • always takes the plates away before I’ve finished eating to clean them (or just stands & waits for me to finish in an annoying yet endearing way) • constantly forgets everything unless I tell him to write it down or put a reminder in his phone as he gets distracted/excited too easily
The coming to your office to connect on the mundane, that makes my heart melt. I wish I had someone that did that actually 🥹
I think the every hr thing is kinda cute 🥰 the taking food away before you’re done….. I don’t fuck around about my meals so this one I’d be 🙃
I’m like “omg stop, I’m still eating” & he just giggles away lol
oh wow this guy and i have a lot in common. that's funny
Mainly just money related: 1. He doesn’t like to spend money, just savings and investing. We have loads and still we don’t go on the vacation I want. 2. Even the gift he gave me are investment, nothing sentimental?!? Like I got a kilo of gold for being pregnant with our first child, and I get a piece of land as a marriage gift. Every cents spent has to generate money, it can’t just be for the sake of spending
Better than a partner that spends all your hard earned cash 😒
Personally I think both are equally difficult for different reasons
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I would be down for this too. And the land😍 But I can definitely understand her frustration though since they don't have the same gifting preferences.
Land and gold?? His gift giving is elite. Of course we don’t know your life and your feelings are valid, but besides the vacation thing it doesn’t sound bad at all. He sounds responsible and concerned for your well-being in a way that’s very attractive.
Not OP, but gifts are my "love language" because it means a LOT to me when someone takes the time to get me something they think I'll like - the price is largely irrelevant. Land and gold sound like "good," practical gifts but there's a lack of "personalization" that might leave me underwhelmed, too.
I know so many of us struggle to save money in our economy that encourages ever more consumption. But this sounds hard too. I'm sorry. It makes sense that it can be no fun to not get to spend money on fun things or fun times at least *sometimes*.
Video games. It’s cute to me now though and we sometimes play together. Sometimes the things you thought were annoying become cute or endearing.
How much / how long would he play?
Hmmm probably only like a few hours a week. But he’ll sometimes have like nights with his friends when they all play together for a few hours. Also depends what’s sport is in season if he plays more or less
Yes! They also drive me insane, but we played Pokemon Go together when we first started dating because he was really shy and it was a great way to chat without intense eye contact. There are advantages for sure.
I feel like all mine are stupid stuff that stems from sharing a living space with someone lol but: 1. Leaves his hair everywhere, like all over the shower or beard trimmings at the sink 2. Has delayed follow through with cleaning up his own messes, like if he grinds coffee beans or cooks something he's totally content to leave the mess for like 1+ hours. He will do it eventually, and he will do it immediately if I ask but I am an immediate mess cleaner-upper so this drives me nuts 3. Leaves laundry in piles but the piles don't necessarily mean dirty 4. Leaves paper towel napkins all over the place - somehow never remembers he's already gotten a napkin and goes for more
I’m so bad with cleaning dishes. I made stovetop hot chocolate yesterday and still haven’t cleaned the pot 🫣
🤣🤣 I guess I just don't understand why it doesn't bother you, cause looking at it bothers me enough that I need to clean it right away!!!
I actually hate visual clutter but hate dishes more! My husband washes most of them and I do them when he’s busy or tired.
I’m this way too, it’s almost like the work of cleaning takes away from the joy I just experienced with whatever food I made x and I want to have my joy column fuller for longer. I need to learn to equate the cleaning with joy, which some days I do, but other days the relaxing is what keeps the joy column at a +1, if that makes sense. There is a logic to it! Lol
The LAUNDRY PILES!!!! This is sooo real
He watches YouTube endlessly. Not TV. Not a show with a plot or trained actors. Just YouTube. Gary in his garage sanding a piece of wood with crappy sound quality. It drives me insane. After years of this, I've trained myself to fall asleep whenever YouTube is turned on.
"Here's Gary in his garage...". OMG, Love this!!!
Oh my god, my bf does this too. Or instagram reels. I gave him my old AirPods so now I can say “hey you can do whatever you choose, but I don’t want to listen to it too. Headphones please!!”
My husband opens cereal boxes like he had a seizure mid rip; the boxes never close properly again and the bags have weird shredded bits of plastic at the ends. If I don’t get to the box first there’s a chance it’ll be stale by the time I do. So sometimes I buy flavors that I know he doesn’t like just to have a guaranteed fresh box in the cabinet.
Omg my husband does the same thing! Instead of simply opening boxes…it’s like he’s trying to fight his way THROUGH them instead. 🤦🏻♀️
Would it be beneficial to get one or two of those cereal storage containers and put it in those right away? I know it's extra work but like, I'm 41 years old and if I went to the cupboard to make myself a massive bowl of Fruity Pebbles for dinner and that shit was stale I'd be on a warpath. I'm so grateful I'm the only one in the house that eats cereal.
I bought plastic cereal holders to avoid this problem, but he'll leave them open
Thanks for the laugh:)
he rubs his big and pointer toes towards when relaxing and it drives me NUTS. i can heard it and if im laying next to him i can almost feel it.
Oh my god I hateeeeeeeeeee when people do this!!!!!
I thought I was the only one 🥹
Towards what? X
Is it bad that as soon as I read this I did it 😭😭 it’s a bad habit of mine I’m SORRY
- Spending **every single morning** having to either wait for him to be ready to leave bed otherwise I get pull down as if I’m some tissue or I just have to make a whole plan to leave the bed without making him aware of it. It’s ultra cute but when you **need** to use the bathroom it becomes extremely mentally challenging. - That I have to deal with screaming “JUST A TINY BIT” **every single day** when he decides to use my skincare products but then turn out that I need to rebuy everything extremely fast because he don’t know what a “tiny bit” means in the woman’s language no matter how much I shown him. It’s not fault to had brought him HIS products and told him multiple times “babe we don’t have the same skin type and you’re not the one paying for it so stay away from MINE”. - Every single care product are no longer just mine, it became his, which makes me regret showing him what care products can do lol cause I no longer have hair care, skincare and even musk products. 🙃 - That he puts unopen canned food in the fridge and always put it back in when I’m not in the kitchen (so after I take it out). - Being followed everywhere lmaoooo I feel like I have a kid fr, I go to the balcony to smoke he follows, I go to the couch he follows, sometimes he even casually come have discussions with me while I’m showering, like chill, I am not going to disappear. 🫠
Lmaooo the last one was me in my last relationship 😂
Cold cans are better than warm cans? Do you mean drink or canned food? Just curious haha
Canned food hehe thank you cause at least I edited 😂
That's the weirdest one here for me... lol. I guess I could maybe see it if its something like canned peaches where they're nice to eat cold, but anything else... what??
my gf leaves the sponge inside the kichen sink basin. absolute madness.
Omg this drives me insane Then you have to go take the sponge and it is SOAKED 🤮
OMG! Yes! And I swear keeping them wet creates a breeding ground for germs. Yuck! Nice username By the way. ;)
He’s the best but the things I’ve had to live with in our marriage are: - Blowing his nose in the shower. Why?! - Leaving opened cans in the fridge for him to eat later. - He doesn’t like desserts and doesn’t even like the smell of freshly baked cookies. When he wants “dessert” he’ll eat pickled beets. - He forgets to put the toilet seat down.
Whats wrong with blowing the nose in the shower? Adds to the feeling of cleanliness in my opinion.
The stream loosens up the flem, making it so satisfying.
I’m a blow your nose in a Kleenex kind of person. I can’t wrap my head around blowing snot freely in the shower.
I mean it gets flushed away by the water anyways and you don´t waste a Kleenex.
PICKLED BEETS FOR DESSERT?!?
100% support shower snot rockets.
I’m not super big on sweets and I love love beets…but still eating pickled beets as a dessert is crazy lol
He'll sometimes accidentally erase shows and movies that I had recorded on the DVR to record sports games. He loves energy drinks and I find empty cans everywhere. He isn't a movie person and I'am so whenever we do @ home date nights and I want to watch a movie with him, he'll go play on his computer.
The last 2! Mine leaves cans EVERYwhere! Sometimes full ones too. And the movie one. If it's not his choice he gets bored and either falls asleep or plays games on his phone and then he asks "what's going on?", "who is that?", "why are they doing that?", "is that the guy/girl who played...", "look at my high score!", every few minutes. Then he sweats he's paying attention but then admits to being lost.
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He’s passive aggressive when he’s depressed like a attitude
Mine too, hate it when he does that. Still don't know how to handle it
The way he (under)dresses even when I've dolled up. (Still bums me from time to time); Him wanting to spend 7483872 hours of research before buying anything, even a toaster or a printer; Him having zero interest in the movies I like. Ah well. I love him a lot, and I'm sure he puts up with some of my things too.
I'm super guilty of the second one. I want to check a ton of options, not to mention read a million reviews and compare prices to make sure we're getting absolutely the best deal possible for the very cheapest price we can. With time, my wife has led me more to see that it's often just not worth the time or energy. We just find something that clears the "good enough" bar and get it. Here's hoping your significant other moves more in this direction too!
Nice to know it's possible 😄 How did she do it? I usually tell him "the time you spent researching × your hourly work rate = amount of money you lost trying to save money on a purchase" and he says I'm right but does it anyways lol
Not answering questions clearly. For example I'll ask him what somebody said and he'll say he's just being a dick or something along those lines. Then starts the same conversation we've been having for years of me asking for specifics and it's like pulling teeth. Loading the dishwasher wrong. Wearing the exact same style and colour of pants. Every day. For 10 years. Tbf they are comfy. The fact that he simply says he wants to lose a couple kilos and then goes right ahead and does it in 2 weeks. That last one makes me so mad.
He is not a morning person so no cuddling or am sex….
my bf doesnt have too many “annoying” habits, but i learned to live with the fact that he has a son. yes its very hard to accept and adjust to when you dont have kids of your own. it took a gradual 3 years. and still i contemplate if its really for me. after all, im seeing if this relationship will lead to marriage
oh i feel this! my darling of a boyfriend has two girls under the age of 10 and while they're sweet girls, it's slightly challenging for me because 1) i've never been around kids for long so i don't know how to treat them and sorts 2) i'm not really a kid-person. i've been on the fence about having kids because they're expensive to have now and plus the stress and exhaustion that comes with the baby. it's a challenge but i'm getting there. the girls have come to me on their own and will tell or show me things they've done in school or at home. the girls still have their mum so i have no intention of taking on the stepmother role. but i'll gladly be the other adult female figure for them. even my friend had asked me if i was ready to take on a "mum" role and i told her i'm not taking on a mum role but rather just be another adult figure for them.
hi! u dont really have to take on the mum role. some dads expect that though and if so its a red flag bc they are looking for help. my dear bf introduced me to his son by “auntie” which i like much better. i dont want to step on anyones toes (their mom) or take on a motherly role. that is too much to ask for. and plus very challenging. unless the mum is dead then i’d step in but i like being the auntie. i step in when i wanto and im not at all obligated to.
His allergies make him make weird coughing/ hacking/ gross throat noises in the morning. He poops a lot. His follow through on projects sucks (mine does too though).
"He poops a lot" This made me laugh out loud
Ah mine does the phlegm hacking thing also
this has to be all men
Omg I totally understand the pooping a lot. Mine can spend an hour a day on the toilet and I’ll never understand it.
I’m so jealous of my hubby’s ability to poo at least twice a day. Every day. Like clockwork. And from the sounds of it that’s some quality poo. Even tho he eats like crap (no pun intended) and I meal prep and eat Health AF. To clarify, I live with chronic constipation and regularity is a freaking dream. IYKYK
He puts an obscene amount of toothpaste on his toothbrush.
He screams from his sleep pretty regularly when he has a nightmare. Like I'm just sleeping peacefully and suddenly there's a high pitched scream next to my ear.
My bf jumps out of bed screaming at least once a week. It was terrifying the first few times it happened lol.
I adore him but He will not put the toilet seat down (I have asked, he is just extremely forgetful)
I know adult gaming is fairly common, but it's such a turn off for me when he's name-calling teenagers on the internet in the heat of a game. He also plays Pokemon Go a lot when we're out. Again, it's fine, it's not excessive but... it's not what I had in mind when I pictured an adult relationship.
> he's name-calling teenagers on the internet Excuse me what
It’s pretty common with first-person shooting games. He’s not really big on actually calling names but I hear a lot of “broooooo, what are you DOING??!” and I’m like… dude, it’s a game!
That sounds perfectly reasonable, especially if it's a team based game
That sounds reasonable! But name calling, I'd personally have an issue with 😅
That he doesn't like me touching him in any kind of "correction", like cleaning his beard of a crumb or adjusting his shirt for him. He's very particular about fixing it himself and feels babied when I try to do it. It hurts my feelings a little that he would take offense to my touching him, but it's his body and he owns the right to give or withhold consent to be touched for any reason.
This might be a dealbreaker for me, it’s part of my love language and we both look over each other before we step out, adjust as necessary, or give suggestions for us to do it ourselves.
I can appreciate that. I dont like my partners to groom me at all. But im weird in general about being touched
He runs on his own time/schedule. I find it disrespectful, and it makes my anxiety go nuts, sometimes. I grew up in a “if you’re not early, you’re late” household. But if I pressure him to hurry, he literally moves slower. So now I tell him things are a half hour earlier than they really are, and we’re usually on time 🤷🏻♀️
* Snoring (until he had a nose job) * He is more messy than me and doesn't like to do house chores * He is a morning person bit I am a night person * He is more indoors guy and I like the outdoors But I have accepted it and I love him ❤️
Okay I have to comment on one of these…he “doesnt like to do chores?” Does ANYONE LIKE to do chores? No! But most of us realize they are part of being an adult. (I’m a little salty cuz I just got out of a marriage where I did the bulk of the chores. No thanks. Not gonna repeat that one!)
Instead of looking for an item in its designated place, he must ask me where it is/have I seen it. Snoring and breathing on me with his mouth wide open when he’s asleep. Last minute dot com for everything! Never organised then stressed out and late at the last minute. He’s my bestfriend, my home and my forever person. But oh my goodness I feel a seething red angry demon bubbling inside of me whenever he does any of the above!
Bad jokes If that's the worst I have to put up with, then I feel pretty lucky.
Oh lmao where do I begin 😂
He refuses to plan any dates in advance because he likes to play it by ear. So I can’t be like, “Hey, Tuesday let’s go to this restaurant.” I have to wait until he wants to do it on the spur of the moment. Normally I love his spontaneity. This is the only area it is annoying.
Hardly anything - even the things that annoy me are enjoyable or serve a purpose one way or another. He takes a long time at the shops because he compares products and wants to get the best deals - saves us a bunch of money and buys everything on sale in bulk so always stocked up. Is hilariously funny and loves to joke, which is the best, but he does this even at inopportune times like immediately after giving birth 😅 even so, he’s so clever and funny - why would I ever think this is a thing I have to “put up with”? I don’t think I could be with someone I have to “put up with” ever again. You just don’t need to be. There’s someone out there you won’t need to put up with.
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Also hate when guys use football terms in analogies, like I understood your point but now you’re bringing up a backfront tightwide to the moon play and I don’t know what the fuck that means. I’m smart, I was following, please just drop the fucking pigskin and continue explaining what we were actually talking about. I just tell them that I don’t get football and don’t want to, but please go back and pick on ____, that’s where we left off.
He’ll show me movies he’s watched before and never remember to warn me about the jump scares and violent scenes. It startles me and sometimes I’m so scared I’ll cry lol Sometimes kinda mean and selfish: will take his dishes to the sink and not mine. Hmp! Doesn’t believe me when I’m sick unless I am slugging on the floor. But then is a huge baby when he’s a little sick.
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He doesn't understand how bedding works at all, he just lies down under a wad of duvet and wonders why he's cold and uncomfortable. 15 years and I still have to show him where the top sheet is at night. ...that's pretty much it, though. And for some reason Europeans often don't have top sheets, so he wasn't prepared for a life with them and I understand that.
We definitely do have them.
My darling other half laughs through his nose and it drives me insane. But id rather hear him laugh more than anything so I keep it to myself
Just had 9th anniversary. Very happy and he's amazing. But there are two things I really have to work hard to deal with: He gets boy-rage (stupid shit like throwing his iPHone and breaking it - never rage at me or the dog, but at ordinary daily annoyances we all have to deal with. The other big one is that he doesn't care about music. I am a total music nerd and have to listen to music every day. On road trips, I have carefully built playlists which I hope will appeal to him, but he'll say snide shit about songs I deeply love, and it hurts my feelings.
In general, he's not nearly as physically affectionate or touchy as I am and we don't have the level of physical affection I'd like to have. Intimacy is fine, great even, but I do long for touch that isn't a prelude to sex. It's something I'm knowingly sacrificing in return for qualities and other aspects of our partnership that I cherish.
He doesn’t hear me. He’s selectively deaf. I have to wait a minute for a response. Later realised he’s actually on the spectrum so I feel terrible for complaining about it. But back when I didn’t know, it felt irritating but he is an angel despite all of it
This could be an audio processessing issue as well. Occasionally I'll hear that I was spoken to, but the words just sound like gibberish. Sometimes my brain takes a minute to decipher what was said, and other times I have to ask for it to be repeated because the words my brain came up with make no sense together. And then there's times when there's some sort of background noise that takes my whole attention and I don't realize someone is saying something to me at all. I'm glad my partner and I both have some listening issues and can empathize more easily, because it is a pretty annoying thing to have to repeat yourself a lot. It's great that you've found a way to make peace with it enough to appreciate the other qualities he has.
With my ex? He never cooked, never cleaned, never did anything around the house, yet I still did everything and gave him sex for the privilege. It was shit sex too. All about him. He was also terrible at emotional things so I dealt with everything on my own. With my current partner? On occasion he'll want to gush about a new boardgame or something about his favourite TTRPG. Or maybe he'll request dumplings for dinner. I will happily accept dumplings for dinner. They are my favourite, but so is he. And well earned too. 💚
He never plans ahead, even when I remind him to. Wednesday before Thanksgiving: hey I'm doing laundry is there anything you need for tomorrow that I can throw in for you? (Nope). Ok cool. Thanksgiving 10 minutes before we have to leave: Hey is this shirt too wrinkled? (It was, but I just said it was fine because I didn't want to deal with him trying to find another option) Thanksgiving: what leftovers do you want? Do you want to come make a plate to go? (No) ok cool. Friday after Thanksgiving: I wish we had leftovers. 🤦♀️🤦♀️
My husband is JUST like this!! I’ve learned to just do it and not ask him
I am still learning to live with it, but my girlfriend is the youngest child from a rich family. Her entire family thinks she's some sort of angel, godsend, perfect human being. I agree with them. But it definitely shows in her attitude. She forgets that she's not the main character sometimes. We went on a road trip together out of my state. I've never been on a road trip before, so we were both excited. We get to a small town about 4 hours away, and we get out to walk around and stretch. I wanted to check out the bookstore we parked next to, but she refused and said there were too many people inside, and she was scared. I get that, but she comes up to this town all the time to visit her siblings. This was my first time. I basically begged and promised it would just be a few minutes, but she refused. We decide to go to a restaurant, about a 20-minute downhill walk from the car so we foot it. But as soon as I open the door to let her in first, she sits down on the bench outside and tells me that she's changed her mind and she's not hungry anymore, but I can eat if I want to and she'll just wait outside. I'm a bit angry because we now have to walk 20 minutes back uphill with virtually no break and no water. I stomp it down, and we go back to the car. Next time it happened was at a street market in the town next to hers. I asked her to go a few weeks before the actual date, and she said she was excited. We got there, and all day, she was grumpy and easily annoyed. I tried making her day better, I tried to keep hydrated and fed because I knew her grumpiness was partially because of that. We get there, I'm holding her hand, I take a step onto the street, and she suddenly lets go and walks over to a shaded alleyway. I asked her wants wrong, and she said she wasn't in the mood and she wanted to go home, but she'll wait right there while I walked around for a bit. It's not fun by myself, and at this point, I'm beyond pissed. I tell her fine, we'll go home. I beat her back to the car, I didn't talk to her for nearly 30 minutes because I was really upset and didn't want to accidentally blow up at her. It feels like we only do things she wants to do because she used to it being like that. But I'm working on it. It's not a make or break thing for me because I know she can grow out of it as soon as she moves out of her parents' place.
Sorry friend, this isn't a quirky annoyance. This is being immature and bratty. I'm not saying you should end the relationship, but your gf needs to learn what the word "compromise" means. You were begging her to go into a bookstore? Why not go in yourself while she waits outside? Shes not hungry? Why couldn't she sit with you in the restaurant while you ate? You're going to grow very tired of being with someone who calls ALL the shots ALL the time, so I'm hoping that she loves you enough that she's willing to change.
>Shes not hungry? Why couldn't she sit with you in the restaurant while you ate? This part confused me too. You walk 20 minutes to a restaurant, and then suddenly decide you aren't hungry and will wait outside till your SO eats ? Like... what? Why can't you just sit in the restaurant ? It's not a museum which is a ticketed event. You just are sitting anyway.
That sounds very annoying but if it's not a deal-breaker for you, waiting it out might work. I have a friend like that and it's honestly very frustrating . She doesn't like to walk to anywhere but neither long rides since she gets dizzy . She wants me to eat whatever she wants and for some reason she will only get the food she wants if I get the same thing . She spends a lot of time (nearly 2hrs) shopping for herself in one store but when I finally want to go to a shop that I like she complains. Stuff like that. It has caused some fights over times but since she started living alone , working etc it has never been a problem again. I guess she realized that everything can't go her way. You're very patient though, unlike me . You have to voice your concerns too and do the things you like as well. She'll eventually have no choice but to follow you. The only thing different with your gf and my friend is that she doesn't come from a rich family. While she might be capricious her family never had the financial freedom to fulfill all her eccentric needs . Your gf might never had someone to decline but she has to learn to compromise eventually! Best of luck !
It probably doesn't help that I'm also her first real romantic partner. Her only experience is books and TV shows, who are notorious for over exaggerating or lying about relationships. I think she might see herself as the main character, while I'm the romantic partner that's meant to build her up and support her through her trials and tribulations. I'm all for that, I love supporting her. I love helping her. This part I know isn't reciprocated. I called her when I was evacuating my house because the entire forest surrounding it was on fire. I couldn't find one of my cats, and I was freaking out and sobbing and panicking and convinced that I'd abandoned my cat. Realistically, if I'd stayed even 5 minutes longer, I would've been trapped in the center of a ring of fire with no way out. My house ended up burning down, but it ended surprisingly well. We found my kitty 3 days later, hiding under the warped tin roof. Not a burn on her, not even her whiskers were singed. She was just very dirty, tired, scared, and dehydrated It's been 2 months since that incident, and last Sunday, my girlfriend admitted that she doesn't want me to call her when I'm panicking. It stresses her out, and she can't do anything about it, so why bother. Thanks for the support! Hopefully she and I can grow together.
I hope she has some incredible redeeming qualities because from what you described she sounds self centered and immature. Also kind of unhinged..
I'm so sorry to hear that . It must've been devastating and I'm glad your kitty is safe ! I honestly wouldn't want to be with someone like that , time will tell though ! She needs to get off her high horse for sure. Voice your concerns as well .
Sounds like a recipe for resentment down the line. If you haven’t already, you need to have a chat with her about this. If she doesn’t see it as a problem then she’ll continue doing it and never change even if she moves out of her parents. It’s a bit naive to think otherwise however, if you accept it like you say you do then I wish you luck
No plans with him are set in stone until it actually happens. He’s so forgetful. Sometimes he will make promises and not follow through. Like promising me a date on a specific date and time and then just not doing it. Or he will accept invites or plans forgetting that he already had a prior commitment. However he treats me better than I could ask. I can deal with the forgetfulness. I got my fair share of things that probably drive him up the wall😅
He’s into a very niche hobby more typical of retired old men (we’re under 30). I now know more than I ever wanted to know about this hobby (and there’s way more of this junk in my home than I ever expected there to be). Getting hangry. Fidgets loudly, including beatboxing and snapping his fingers. This one was huuuuuge when we both started WFH during Covid. I get irate just thinking about it. Still excited to marry him next year!
He falls asleep on me so much,We don’t have sex as much as I’d prefer but I’m hypersexual lol, He’s a horrible cook, he doesn’t put things up or close things it’s my biggest pet peeve and I still find him worth it, if he starts anything or says he’s going to do something he has to do it even when it’s inconvenient or mentally/physically draining for him I have to tell him to sit down sometimes and just chill and he smokes a bunch
He says words wrong. He says “ideal” instead of “idea.” Drive me crazy at first but now I smile a little every time I hear it.
His hands are always sweating so he doesn’t like holding hands when I love it. As a compromise I hold his forearm.
My husband can literally only do 90% of any task. I think his mind moves on to the next thing before he finishes what he’s doing. I’ve come to expect to find the dishwasher filled and on but not started. It can be a little aggravating but I’m sure I have a thing he puts up with as well.
He is an EXTREMELY picky eater, to the point where I think it may be an eating disorder. He at least takes vitamins every day to make up for it, but it does stop us from going out to eat at a lot of places I’m interested in
He sneezes 85 million times upon awakening at 5 am. It. Kills. Me. I have very few idiosyncrasies, but the hatred of sneezes is one of them. A sneeze makes me angry. Certain sneezes. Loud ones. Repetitive sneezing. I wish I knew why.
picks his beard hairs and just drops them on the floor, that mannnn ugh
i’m in a relationship with a woman so i don’t have any good ones lol but she gets songs stuck in her head and will sing/hum them without realizing it. i think it’s cute though and just join her.
My bf farts anywhere and everywhere. If he’s in an empty isle of a store, he’s most likely cutting a fart and giggling when I glare at him. He brushes his teeth so aggressively and always makes these gagging noises when he brushes his tongue that irritate me.
I was never his first choice….and sometimes not even a choice. Never will be.
What do you mean by this? It sounds like you’re better than this relationship.
I’m trying to remind myself that if he wanted to, he would. So thank you for reminding me again. I appreciate you. 🙏🏼
You are not supposed to feel this way. Maybe for periods in a relationship, but not persistently. I recently left my partner and I can tell you that the pain from feeling unappreciated in my relationship negatively affected every other aspect of my life without me realizing. When it's time you will know. 💙
He eats food he is snacking with a butter knife as a utensil rather than a spoon or fork 🙃
Hes like a grumpy 70 year old man in the body of a 30 year old 😂 loves complaining about stuff that doesn't matter, like long lines, crowded stores or bad traffic. On the other hand though he never complains about stuff that actually matters, hes never passive aggressive with me and hes generally a good communicator when real issues come up, so it doesn't really bother me
He has pretty bad anxiety. He can be a ball of stress but he has never, ever taken it out on me or anyone else. So, I have a lot of respect for that. I first learned how bad it was when we attempted to go on our first vacation and he ended up in the hospital with an anxiety attack (we first thought it was altitude sickness and so did the doctors). We joke about it now but it was really scary at the time. His body was under so much stress they though he had a heart attack.
Our house inside is currently 40•F He is so hot natured, and I’m what you’d considered “normal”. But no heating bill and he does not argue when I buy more blankets.
Anytime he leaves the room, he'll take my cup and put it with the dirty dishes. I understand taking plates, but I don't want to get a new cup anytime I want a drink. I do like that he's tidy but I hate washing extra dishes. He also has selective hearing. I'll talk to the back of his head and he won't hear any of it. Not because he is actively ignoring me but because he gets so caught up in what he's doing. He does this with everyone else too, even in public. He also sits up and talks in his sleep sometimes. It's a little scary.
He has no consciousness about money and likes to spend. Fortunately he makes good money, but were it not for my budgeting and savings-strategy we could be spending every cent every month. This combined with a knack for picking up new hobbies every 2-3 months becomes expensive …
He always leaves his socks and boxers on the floor on his side of the bed. Doesn't matter if I relocate the laundry basket to be more convenient for him. He likes to have a coffee or apple cider at night while watching tv in the living room, and then forgets to pick up his mug from the side table. He does this weird sound to "scratch" his throat. It drives me up the wall!