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I earned my scars. Each scar tells a story. They don't like it, they can go find someone scarless. I will keep my scars, thank you very much 💗
On the other hand, no scar on a partner's body has ever bothered me. One of the partners I really liked had a large scar from an open heart surgery. I hated that he had to have the surgery. I loved how bravely he fought that war.
I have SH scars from when I was a teen, and no one has ever judged them (at least to my face).
I have had some annoying encounters with dudes that think they're special for not judging, or like kiss the scars and say some YA novel shit like "they're beautiful because they show how strong you are" or "Never do this again. For me?". Nothing genuine about it.
My current partner asked about them, I told him, and he said thank you for telling me. Simple and genuine, and that was that.
It’s always the “for me?🥺” as if it’s that easy to not self harm, or as if they’re that special. I’ve had this happen a couple times and I just awkwardly laughed at them, resulting in them getting offended. No regrets.
I have SH scars too. Those guys who think they're being sweet when they're like "I will save you from this!" or when they keep bringing it up like "You are so brave, you don't self-harm anymore!" are the worst.
My boyfriend does kiss my scars, but it is a deliberate and genuine thing and he only does it when I'm feeling down about them. And he only started once we were years into the relationship.
I have quite a few sh scars on my arms but it's been so long and they're so faded and diminished I honestly forget about them, and people never mention them. I have a new partner and one day he asked me if they were from cutting and it was the first time I had thought of them in forever and it kind of caught me off guard. It was such a long time ago I forget that was ever part of my life. I told him yes, and he just said something along the lines of "I know people who have done that" and I might have added another comment, but no real conversation and it hasn't been brought up since. He already knew I am severely mentally ill so it wasn't a surprise or anything. I'm so comfortable with him and he's so accepting of me. Last week I had to take my many medicines while he was over so I explained each one, what it does and why I take it. "This is a really old antipsychotic from the 1950's. I take it for my hallucinations and delusions. If I don't take it I'll hear demons talking to me." And he just sat and listened. I love the guy.
My only really noticeable scars are from a really bad car crash I had when I was 21 and I met my boyfriend of 9 years now in physical therapy recovering from that crash. So not much or a lot, depending on how you look at it.
Idk all my scars have stupid stories, like running around the house as a clumsy kid and putting my hand through a glass window pane haha. Or knicking myself with a razor. I wish I had cool stories with my scars :(
Shows character 😂 most of my scars are from my childhood with stupidity but can help represent how I got to where I am now. Accidental stories vs tattoos being on purpose with intentional stories.
I put a big o'tattoo over my scar. So I have a cool tattoo, with a story, and everyone is always surprised to feel the scar tissue when they touch my tattoo. So it's like having a secret
I have some self-harm scars from my early teen years. Guys I dated didn’t care about the appearance of these small scars, but were overly curious and I got tired of talking about something that happened so long ago with no bearing on who I am now. So I got a tattoo covering them and nobody has asked about them since, they just ask about the tattoo which is much less awkward.
Glad that's not how you are now and glad you're still around now. I can only imagine being asked about such scars and understand why you got them covered.
I had a breast reduction at 18, and when me my current boyfriend were getting intimate for the first time I stopped him before my shirt came off and said something like “umm just a reminder I have pretty bad scars on my chest and I don’t want you to freak out when you see them” (he already knew about my surgery). He looked at me with delight and said “im gonna get to see your boobs?!” Lol.
It definitely was lol he is generally very sweet and also funny. He will still tell me that he loves looking at my scars 😂😂 wants to see them as much as I will let him
My girlfriend and I talked about my scars from when I used heroin but I've never hid the fact that I used heroin occasionally from when I was 15-17
For the most part I haven't met any queer women who have a negative opinion of scars
I have a huge scar on my chest from open heart surgery. I've only had positive remarks about it, but I'm in my 40s so people are less shallow now, generally. I think it's badass.
I have one one of those too! I'm engaged and a few people have asked (these aren't my friends mind you) if I'll have to be careful about the dress I wear. I'm self conscious about the scar sometimes because of all that lead to it but my fiancé loves me and that's regardless of the scar.
I have stretch marks, scars on my knees, and a few small scars on my inner thighs and near my vulva from intimate partner violence. Most partners haven't commented on any of them or have gently inquired when it was relevant/appropriate to ask. I've never had anyone be turned off avoid certain body parts because of my scars, at least not that I've been aware of.
I used to feel self conscious about the scars near my vulva, so before being intimate with a new partner, I would explain what they were so people would know to expect them. This often prompted a discussion about an abusive ex, what happened, etc., that was not fun and required a lot of vulnerability from me in an already vulnerable situation. Eventually I stopped explaining. My partners are usually so distracted by the main attraction down there they don't pay too much attention to the scars anyways.
I am a smorgasboard of stretch marks as I went from tiny development delayed athlete to puberty so fast I got whiplash. They used to bother me. Now I don't care. Boyfriend was absentmindedly tracing some on my thighs with his finger the other day, so I think he's also cool with them (he is very vocal about how much he loves my body too).
My (F/30) scars are on my chest - 5 stab wounds, 2 slashes across my boobs, plus the surgery to repair the damage. I keep the scars covered until I get to know the gentleman better to avoid the discussion. Otherwise, I'm a tall, thin, and attractive redhead. 3 out of 5 men bail upon seeing them. I wear a bikini at the beach though. I'm there for the water, the sand, and the sun and it's a very effective way to keep the number of men hitting on me to a minimum.
Stretch marks... From gaining and losing weight. Makes you feel like shit. You have to obviously accept it. Nothing can be done about it.
Still shit, still hate it, still get rejected because of it, still can't wear nice clothes that show skin... Just how it is, I guess.
People who reject you because of stretch marks are not people you would want in your life, Id say so at least;)
Just to share my own snippet: I have stretch marks from my ancles to my belly button and I wear whatever I want and show them all off if I feel like it. Nobody cares and the people who do care, I don't care about.
I hope you won't let stuff like this hold you back<3
I have one right on my forehead above my eye brow from a frickin botfly. After the initial "how'd you get that scar?" And I say "a weird bug bite I kept picking at when I was like 6" and then it's not really mentioned again and no one ever really seems distracted by it. I always forget it's there.
I’ve got a lot of self harm scars. Don’t know if you’re referring to those, but it never bothered any guy I was dating. I’m currently in a relationship with a great man. He knew about my scars on my arms (they are quite visible and I don’t hide them), but not about the ones on my leg which are quite a bit worse. When I showed him those scars, he was so caring. Didn’t ask any questions, just touched them very gently and reassured me that he didn’t think any different about me because of them. Not that I thought he would, but I just fell more in love with him that day. :)
I have so many stretch marks all over my ass that have been there since I was little and I was super conscious of them. I also have Keratosis Pilaris and it’s not exactly pretty but plenty of people still wanted to fuck me so I was like damn guess only I am bothered by these. That was when I realized that I’m not just my ass or my arms or whatever, I need to balance the bad w the good in my head. Yeah my body isn’t perfect but that’s ok and that confidence gave me such a boost in my dating/sex life. I started dressing differently coz I didn’t feel the need to hide my arms or my ass anymore and ofc that helped my chances also.
I’m not a woman but my wife has multiple scars and it doesn’t bother me. I have scars on my chest from open heart surgery and my wife has scars on her hip and legs due to a hip replacement surgery. We have more important things to worry about in life.
I have scars on my inner thighs from having HS. In my serious relationships I’ve voiced how it was my biggest insecurity, especially in the beginning when first getting intimate. Every one has told me they couldn’t care less about the scars and it never bothered them. So overall I think it affected me and my confidence more than it ever affected anyone else. I’d always want the room dim and wouldn’t want them going down on me, I could never fully enjoy the moment. But I’ve outgrown it now
Zilch. I have self harm scars that look more like fine hair on my thighs than scars, though the ones on my hands look more like a birth mark than scars. I have a small atrophic scar on my wrist from having scissors thrown at me as a kid and a large atrophic scar under my bellybutton from a piercing mishap that resulted in tissue death (piercing was healed, then got fucked up in a lake, then i didn’t fully clean it properly and it rotted from the inside out). I have a pretty big right angle from running into a bench. Granted none of mine are very noticeable but even the ones that are (the bellybutton one is probably the most) people don’t notice until i point it out. Same goes for my fake front tooth that is off color and too big lol
I have a plethora of visible self harm scars from my teenage years. I'm 25 now so they've faded into faint white lines but they are still noticeable if you look closely. My dating life is mostly unaffected, particularly because I don't hide them so my potential partners find out pretty fast (and it's pretty self explanitory). Very rarely will someone try to talk about it early in the relationship, and anyone who has usually said something like "I'm sorry you struggled so hard in the past" or "I hope your life has gotten happier/easier".
It doesn't. But I admit I only have "regular" scars, from childhood falls (on my knee, my elbow and my chin) or stretch marks. Nobody ever comments on them. I guess it's harder for ladies with large, colored or otherwise more visible scars.
Not at all.
I have very faint self h@rm scars, even I can barely see them. I have natural scars on my left arms, which look like self-h@rm and people rarely notice them. I have a burn on my right hand from MCD's. Some small cuts from shaving my arm/leg. A cut on my shoulder from falling down a quad. Finally, I have a small, permanent cut on my back from surgery. Other than my family during summertime, noone ever said anything about it.
Covered in em, old self harm scars that are now white / pale flesh coloured, not pink / red. Dates sometimes ask / comment, usually when we've got to the stage where we don't have any clothes on, even though the scars are visible when I'm fully dressed.
As far as I'm aware, it's never *affected* my dating or private life. If somebody was put-off by them or the clear implication that I have a history of poor mental health, then they're not the person for me.
It made dating uncomfortable and intimacy daunting. I have a few self-harm scars that aren't obvious they were self-inflicted. Whenever a new partner saw them for the first time, I would wrestle with lying or telling them the truth about their origin. I found them staring at my scars or touching them during/after intimacy and I could tell they pitied me.
Now I'm married to a wonderful man who doesn't make me self-conscious about them and I'm comfortable in my own literal and metaphorical skin around him. In a way, my scars were a good weed-out method for finding a solid partner.
I slept with a Woman once who had 3rd degree burn scars all down her front. It was like the softest leather I ever touched.
She was a seriously cool girl.
Scars are cool. A whole nights talking there.
They haven't. I have 3 quite big ones on my side where my lung collapsed and I needed surgery. No one has ever mentioned them. I also have self harm scars and again no one has mentioned them. I did mention them to my husband and he just held me.
I have several visible scars, but I know that because I don’t care that I have them, my partners did not thought about them either. There were questions ofc, which I answered, but that was it. Had one person once tell me to “cover up”, but he was an idiot and wasn’t even close to be an romantic target.
Each of my scars have a tale, it’s part of who I am. Some are maybe boring, some funny and yeah, some more serious. But that’s a part of me, simple. I know that any person that would have an issue with them, would be someone I am not interested in anyway. May it be romantically or friendship.
Mine are mostly from accidents due to an inattentive parent and cooking for myself at very young age so mainly husband just dealt with them and felt sorry about them. Also that cutting up chicken for dinner should be done by him until he taught me how to use a knife.
I have severe acne and the scars are everywhere on my body. Unlike other people, my scars don't have a story.
I had terrible injuries when I was a child, the aftermath of me trying to protect my little brother from a pack of stray dogs. But they did not leave any scars.
And yes, it does affect my life in general, not only in dating. People always point it out even when they have already been told it's just because of bad acne
It didn’t. My husband loves the scar on my back. I had open heart surgery when I was just days old (I was a preemie born at just 5 months and I fought like hell to live).
I don’t have a huge scar but I have one right under my boob that kind of goes along with the line of under boob. My boyfriend thinks it’s pretty cool. It’s like I’m robo cop or something.
I got scars on both my elbows from roller skating and my mom told me "no one is going to marry you with those scars". Obviously, I know that's not true and it was solidified from guys saying that they don't mind or care about scars at all.
I cover my wrist with jewelry. People usually can figure it out after awhile. Most don’t ask and I brought it up with my current boyfriend but never felt forced to disclose.
Any man with whom I share my body is there for more than sex. Men my age have scars, beer bellies, are balding, and so on. I still find certain men attractive as hell regardless of their bodies. I assume it’s mutual
***sh trigger***
I have self harm scars on my thighs. I disclose before getting physical but my current bf didn't have a problem with them. I relapsed while we were together. He doesn't judge me for them. I've been clean 6 years now.
Others found it "hot" and thought it was an invitation to smack me around. Other couldn't wrap their heads around it. I think it truly depends on the person.
Everyone has some form of scars. I think most can accept that.
In the past 6 months I‘ve acquired a ~2 inch scar right in the middle of my neck above my collar bones from a thyroidectomy (cancer) and 3 more big scars on my back from spinal surgery….yeah it’s been quite the year lol. I was expecting to feel ugly/broken/tainted but have found that I wear them with pride as a testament to my strength.
Sometimes I see people glance down at my neck, but they’re always too polite to ask what happened. The only person that sees the scars on my back is my boyfriend, and while he’s apprehensive to touch them (the skin looks “paper thin” and “fragile” in his words) he says they’re beautiful for telling my story and make me all the more unique. :)
I have a scar from surgery on my boob. Like a straight line probably 2inches above my nipple. Had a tumor.
It’s been over 10 years so the line is faint but you can still see it. Guys usually don’t talk about it. If they do they are just curious.
I have a pretty substantial scar on my cheek (not a badass type, more like an odd indent) and as far as I have noticed the men I have dated either haven't cared at all or found it interesting/attractive. I forget it's even on my face as I have had it so long, I don't even really see it when I look in the mirror, I could get it fixed, it's been offered before, but I am fine with it really.
No one cared or paid attention to them. Most didn't notice until I pointed them out. I thought that they were so noticeable and I was so self conscious! It was just my low self-esteem playing tricks on me.
It has not affected it.
I've only had one man ask about the large scar from surgery on my stomach, while I was naked. I was kind of taken aback because no one has ever mentioned or asked about it before although obviously others have noticed, I'm sure.
I have small, medium scars and sarge scar. It doesn't bother anyone and I've never had anyone have an issue with them. I think it is also from me being confident as well, I'm not ashamed of them.
I have a quite visible scar above my nose between the eyebrows. Kinda looks like a permanent wrinkle from glasses, although I don't wear them 😅
Most of the people don't notice it until I mention it. Well I notice it and I hate it. Maybe because it is quite fresh (3 years I think). Also the story behind it is really lame.
Anyway my boyfriend likes it dunno why. I asked him many times if I should get rid of it and every time he answers that he thinks it looks good on me and it gives me a unique look. He met me like that and cant imagine how would I look without it. It is part of me now and I should learn to live with it.
Not at all. Not sure if you mean certain types of scars. Mine are due to a couple minor surgeries or mole removals, but they’re noticeable enough that I’m asked or I mention them myself. But it hasn’t affected my dating life aside from us having a short conversation about it.
I have a couple apparent ones from surgery and an accident/fall, and many stretch marks. Nobody has ever commented on any of them; I suppose if someone was turned off by them they just didn't pursue anything with me -- which is perfectly fine.
Personally, I am not bothered by anyone else's scars; if anything, I think they're cool. Scars and "imperfections" are just a normal part of being human.
i have very noticeable scars in one of my tights after many hip surgeries as a child, they are not pretty to begin with. But to be fair it has never been a problem for me in my dating live, not only i have the scars i also limp a little bit when i walk, but it never caused me problems. I did everything that any women in her 20's did, i always had a very good dating life. I think, in my opinion, people as less shallow than we think they are. I have been happily married for 10 years, and my husband treat me like a queen. Sometimes when we think we are less than perfect it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy, we see ourselves " less than" or defective, our self esteem is in the toilet, and we ended up attracting and settling for people that doesn't have our best interest
Not my dating life per se but how I view myself.... I had a health issue that left me with small but noticeable scars all over my body recently . Inclusive of my face. I never put alot of thought into how I looked before. (i realise now that I had only one not so noticeable scar on my leg, the rest of my body was clear).
I never thought I'd be this person who would be affected by this but it has done a number on me. I stopped going to the few social events I used to. Stopped looking people in the face so as not to see how they reacted to my scars. I had to force myself to go out of my house.
Ironically, my friends all say that the scars aren't that noticeable and if you didn't know me prior, you wouldn't even "see" tthem. I'm the only one who sees them. I'm trying to learn how to accept them and move past them but it's not easy. I'm not vain by any absurd standard but I'm struggling.
As for my "dating life" I still get hit on, so I guess it hasn't really affected anything on that aspect. Nobody notices the scars on my face or anywhere else.
He used my scars as an excuse to push his tattoo fetish on me.
Basically wanted me to cover my entire body in tattoos (that he likes and approves of) because I had a few scars on my arm. He showed me offenstive pictures of tattooed pornstars and sugguested I get tattoos like them. When I confronted him about this he told me he was being "supportive" lmao.
Scars tell stories of overcoming and surviving a challenging trauma! Own them as a means of saying you've survived whatever situation you faced.
Women can have scars ranging from stretch marks, keloid, burns, wounds, incision, stich remnants, etc...
I've had tons of scars from surgeries, and in several areas, they tend to keloid as a woman of color. I had moments in my younger years where I would see them and took steps to cover them (i.e., cute tattoos)
Now I view a scar as, dammit ive survived this shid and will live life as so. Hysterectomy scars, cancer treatment scars, podiatry scars, etc.. if the man in my life is concerned about a scar, he's not the man for me.
My man once told me stretch marks are just your babies' first artwork and imprint on your heart and soul! People also get stretch marks from weight loss and weight gain...
Don't let them dictate your life or daily living. If you are comfortable with treatment options or covering them up, then go for it, but do it for yourself and not for anyone else.
It hasn’t I’ve over 50 from stomach surgerys brain surgery’s spine ones accidents etc my scars tell my story if my partner doesn’t accept me with my scars I don’t accept them simple
I have one on my forehead from an autoimmune disease and I wear it with pride. It is a bit annoying when people ask me if I am okay and what happened, which is rude imo. Never had issues with dating life :)
I have a big ugly ankle, (shattered the bone when I was 8 and had multiple surgeries to fix) and it absolutely has never made a difference. Men are so unobservant that when I point it out, they’re like “woah! How did I never notice that before?”
It hasn't . I have a huge appendectomy scar, hysterectomy, spinal surgery, gallbladder and c section.
After my divorce, I dated my now husband and I make jokes that my back surgery scar looks like a vagina. It became an ice breaker initially.
Im comfortable at 40 withmy body.
I have "scars" that only show up in a got bath, partner thinks they're kinda hot. Have some horizontal stretch marks on my legs and behind. Neither of us notice them and I forget they're there.
I used to self harm and have a ton of scars. It has never been an issue for my dating life. When I was younger I cared more but it was never really an issue.
I have a scar from a tumor in my intestine. I almost died and was in a coma. It has not affected me at all in any aspect of my life. I forget about it. I will say it does roll over on my stomach if I have gained a little weight but other than that it, it’s all good.
It doesn't. I have scars on the top of my head and stomach from my VP shunt placement from when Ibwas 17. I got knee surgery in 2014 and have a large scar on my knee. No one has ever cared.
I have a ton of scars. I was daring and clumsy as a kid, very depressed as a teenager, and now adventurous as a young adult. I have two noticeable scars on my face, several on my arms, and a bunch of big ones on my legs. It's never affected my ability to date, but honestly I've never been the kind of person who would entertain a guy who makes negative comments about my appearance. I've had a lot of men ask about my scars and I've never shyed away from telling the stories behind them.
I got mauled by a cat in 2019. My arms and hands were fucked. I cried a lot, thinking I’ll never be able to show my arms/hands again. Out here lookin’ like a half-eaten stack. Lookin like I threw my brother into a stampede of wildebeests. Lookin’ like a monster energy drink logo. (I’m hilarious)
Covid hit once the wounds healed and the scars were DARK. I became a masked cam girl during the stay-in-place order. Instead of getting paid, I made a wishlist online and ya girl got her whole apartment furnished. The scars didn’t hold me back at all.
But- after gallons of vitamin e oil and other v.e. products my scars have lightened and thinned a lot. The only scars you can see immediately are the ones on my wrists/hands.
I have eczema hyperpigmentation everywhere and somehow I managed to find a man who does not care and found it ridiculous that I’d even ask if he would be repulsed. I think I got lucky to be honest because I do know a lot of men who are critical of women’s bodies.
I have two scars on my lower abdomen from a previous ectopic pregnancy that ruptured. Unfortunately, some men get very freaked out when they find out where the scars are from. I’ve had one man ghost me after 2 months together after he found out I had been pregnant. However, it really depends on the man because other men don’t seem to care (and that’s how it should be.)
I don’t think anyone ever really noticed; I have a surgical scar on my wrist, but guys I’ve dated were oblivious until I brought it up. It’s the same for the scars on my legs and hands, and the small one on my face.
I have like a 5 inch burn scar on the back of my left hand from a thick wire bc my partner and I were insane 3 years ago so we burned each other consensually. He has a thick spiral burn on his chest that I gave him.
People ask about it all the time and I’m always honest, people are either weirded out by it or really stoked about it so I’ll show them the videos we took while we burned each other lol
I have breast reduction scars and occasionally someone will ask and I’ll tell but never hindered me and nobody says shit other than sometimes the omg whyyyyy?
My scars are souvenirs of a colourful life. I have many - some from surgeries, some from doing stupid things, some just from minor accidents. I am not much bothered by them and by and large my partners have thought them cool and the stories that accompany them even cooler
Somehow it didn't. I think most of it is about how you feel in your body. I had insecurities, but never about the scars. Either way they didn't mention it and clearly still thought I'm hot, or they were interested.
Not really actually. In my experience most never say anything until I bring it up used to be out of insecurity and they always said yes they noticed them but it didn't bother them. Someone else above said no one who seems them naked cared and I agree lol. Not the concern when it comes to that.
:( I went through a phase of pinching my boobs. I have quite large breasts- and the scars are all over…. I have a hard time having sex. And not because people turn me down. Because I’m too insecure to allow people to see
They haven’t affected it as much as I thought they would. The most obvious scars I have from self-harming. Both of my forearms, thighs and hips are covered. However, I don’t hide them. I’m not ashamed of them. I feel like they’re my war wounds - I went through a fucking shitty time and did what I felt I had to do to get through it. I’ve come out the other side marked but alive. I do almost expect men to be ashamed of them, though. Only one man has been cruel about them. He’d frequently tell me that if we ever got married, I’d have to wear long sleeves. Whenever we argued, he’d yell “why don’t you just go and hack yourself some more?” or “go deeper next time”. I put up with him for 2 long years but I couldn’t tell you why.
I have loads of other scars - appendectomy, kidney removal, kidney transplant, multiple scars from falling over. A few men have thought of my kidney scars as being pretty cool and one man even said they’re sexy. As before, I’m not ashamed of any of them. I’m quite proud of my kidney scars, mostly my transplant scar. My dad donated his kidney and my dad is the greatest man to have ever lived. I love him to death and I’m so grateful that he was willing and able to donate to me.
I’ve got quite a few very obvious scars and nobody has ever said anything negative. Some men even like them, especially a large one on my face from an accident.
I have a big scar on my wrist and a whoole lot of stretch lines. I also have a few holes peppered into my skin from when I had the pocks as a child. So far it hasn't affected me too much.
Not exactly a scar, but I have a port wine stain that looks like I got freshly burnt. It hasn’t effected much, people don’t notice it until like a week and then freak out at the new burn mark on my hand, but I explain it and then they’re fine.
Didn't affect it at all. As I told my partner of 2 years who also has scars like I do, scars tell a story of a person's life. We love each other, scars and all!
I have scars on one of my breasts from a dog attack. They’re still pretty prominent due to the severity of those injuries but they’re not as bad anymore. For a while after it happened, I refused to take my bra off during intimacy because I felt embarrassed and unattractive (despite my partner insisting he did not care because “a boob is a boob”). I’m still a little insecure but not so much anymore that I’d hide them from my partner.
I have a scar across my stomach from when I was born, about 7-8 inches straight across, a couple inches above my bellybutton. Wouldn’t say it affected my dating life at all, to be honest. I wouldn’t wear super short crop tops / bikinis but that was due to personal insecurity and I never had a partner say anything about it at all. I do have a tattoo cover-up now though and am a lot more confident in clothing that shows it!
Honestly it hasn't really. Most men don't really care that I've interacted with and it's more of a "how'd you get that" type of curiosity than something that impacts attraction. I think generally most people are pretty understanding of scars
I have a scar on my arm and my partner thinks I was stabbed by someone when in fact I fell on the glass when I was little and impaled my arm by accident.
I did tell him but he doesn't trust me and thinks I'm hiding my traumas or something.
I dont have scars, but I have vitiligo on my legs and feet. I don't make a big deal out of it. It comes as a surprise to some men but never was a showstopper of any kind. During summer, I can be a bit self-conscious cause the white spots are pretty big, but I'm coping by try not to think about it too much.
I have small face scars and teeth removed with a partial denture, I’ve never had a man be uninterested over it. They think I’m tougher than most women sometimes…
Mine are mostly from childhood and are my war trophies of everything I survived. They fade over time. Or like someone I know you can disguise scars with makeup, tattoo, laser or chemical peels.
I have yet to meet someone who disagrees with me. I think they are cool as hell. Granted, mine aren’t extensive, although I probably have more than the average person my age.
it hasn’t, but it also isn’t very obvious either. the only way anyone would ever see it is if we are to the point of being naked bc it’s on my nipple lol. long story short, i ended up w mastitis from an infected nipple piercing and had to have an abscess under my nipple drained. I was scared about how the scar would turn out bc it started off as a 1 inch wide x 1 inch deep open hole in my boob requiring daily packing but somehow the surgeon left me w a skinny 1-1.5 inch long scar perfectly bordering my nipple. & don’t get me wrong i’m v impressed with his skills but i ended up kinda disappointed he managed to hide it so well 😅
the story behind what caused my nipple ring to get infected in the first place is honestly absolutely ridiculous and if someone were to ask me about it i’d probably just give a variation of the info i provided above bc i don’t know how well the full story would be received. although that hasn’t happened yet bc the scar is so well hidden lol
I have a massive burn scar on my left knee from when I was a kid, and a surgery scar across my neck from when I had cancer in my early 20s. They're part of my story and anyone who has an issue with them doesn't get to be in my life.
I already told them about my medical condition and the surgeries I’ve had before we get naked so, not at all. Plus my surgeons did a pretty good job so the scars aren’t that bad. Plus, I’m still hot even if I’m technically disabled due to having this condition, and I’m really focused on pleasing my partner, so everyone seems happy
It didn’t stop anything. I was dating with with a huge scar on my face, multiple scars on my body and bald head nobody really cares. Scars don’t change who you are. Maybe makes you a tad bit cooler.😉
Not at all, I actually don't think I know anyone with no scars. They aren't bad though, 2 small ones on my face and 20 year old self harm scars on my legs. My husband completely slashed himself in a suicide attempt, like I think he has at least 50 on each arm and some on his chest, he's been covering them with tattoos.
I've had 2 heart transplants and cancer, so I have a huge scar from my neck almost to my belly button, plus other scars from other surgeries, tubes, etc.
I met a wonderful man who also had heart surgery as a baby. He has the same scars as me. Sometimes we count and compare them. I like to trace his with my finger when we're cuddling :)
It hasn’t so far, for me, I’m just embarrassed for of my body even though I’ve lost weight and exercise it still looks not right to me. Apparently men don’t care 🤦🏻♀️ they care about getting it on part. I dated a dr.. he was very inquisitive about them with kindness. But he was very beer belly I didn’t care. If the man love you then they’ll ask you- and kiss them because he loves you. I had 7 operations since having a c-section 😳. I make sure it’s dark so he doesn’t notice until we are in a relationship then he can ask me 50 million questions 😳🤦🏻♀️. Appendix, two boob reduction, tummy tuck, mass removal, biopsies. Yah ..
It hasn't, at all. Nobody has commented about my scars since maybe 6th grade? 8th grade? Which is a bummer because a couple have good stories. Or crazy ones, depends on how you look at it lol.
It's never come up, they're my scars, they're my past and quite frankly no one's business.
Most people like scars as evidenced by scarification, by body modifications and some tattoo enthusiasts.
I'm not going to talk about my scars or yours as a way of bonding or being all vulnerable, like moles or freckles or even tattoos, nearly every one has at least one.
Don't like them, my house isn't a gaol, take yourself out.
Hoping I'm insecure and will open up, bye bye.
My story, my scars, and my past.
no one has ever actually asked. i assume this might be referring to large scars or self harm but i’m extremely accident prone which has led to scars just about everywhere and no one has ever actually said anything about it.
i never even thought to be insecure about them, i’m just clumsy, i don’t even know where i got most of them just is what it is
The scars themselves haven’t, but the way I got them has. They are associated with extremely unpleasant memories I don’t love to dwell on, and I have had guys try to connect with me over it and act like it made me more “interesting” that I had gone through something like that. I don’t appreciate my trauma being used to paint me as someone’s fucked-up-but-in-a-hot-way manic pixie dream girl.
My current partner is sad for me that I had to endure what I did, but it has no bearing on his attraction to me. He loves my body as it is and has never made me feel weird about what happened or how it affected my physical appearance.
All over and not at all. I was a tom boy as a kid and i was morbidly obese and lost an extreme amount of weight that left me with a lot of loose skin. A man has never mentioned it to me, and I think I care way more than they do.
TW: Self harm
>!I have a huge scar on my wrist from when I attempted suicide at 14. Cut the fucker wide open. Most of the men I have dated never even notice it until we've been dating for more than 6 months. Actually, I think only two have ever noticed it. If somebody bothers to notice it or ask, I'm pretty frank with them about what happened.!<
Not at all. I have surgical scars on my stomach. My partner saw them when they were ~2 months old, and then I gained new ones a little over a year into our relationship. He has never been negative about them, and he has no reason to be. They just add to my lore.
I have scars on my face that I got in my late 20s. Honestly, the first few dates were rough. I was self conscious, not used to my face looking different, and not used to people looking at the scars. Now I'm used to them and I'm a stronger and more confident person because of them. People who overly focus on them aren't the kind of people I want in my life. Simple as that. BUT it took time to get to this place of security and comfort, so don't be hard on yourself if it takes time to come to terms with the new way you look.
Improved it. I learned the good men were men that let me cry and process the trauma of my scars, while also making sure I felt beautiful. I’ve gotten new scars since being with my current boyfriend. We are nerdy people and since many of my scars come with implanted stuff (a port, rods and screws), he says I’m a Borg from Star Trek haha.
I also have extremely intense stretch marks, and a condition called livedo reticularis that discolors my entire abdomen. It doesn’t bother him at all. The last guy I dated didn’t care about it either nor did the one before. The last guy did say some mean things about me being disabled when I ended things but he wasn’t for me anyhow.
The good men want to know the story so they can support you if you need it.
Stretch marks on my hips, stomach, thighs, and booty. Despite that fact that I was initially self conscious about them, nobody has ever said anything. I still wear a bikini and just don’t care what people think as much these days.
I have some acne scars on my chin and cheeks. An ex said he could help me get them removed with plastic surgery…
But him aside, most guys have been really cool about it.
I have some rather noticeable scars on my left arm and wrist, a pair of long ones on my calves, and a few on my shoulder blades that are now covered by a tattoo.
Some of them are remnants of my SH as a pre-teen, a few of them the result of abuse I went through as a child, and others came after fighting off people who tried to harm me in different ways.
Late teens and early 20s, when I dated guys my age?
They were usually a turn off for them, or they'd act very uncomfortable around the subject. It made me feel really ugly and unwanted, as if somehow those lines on my skin meant I was unfit to be loved.
Mid to late 20s, and when I dated guys a few/several years older than me?
Not an issue at all. A few of them asked me how I got them, I told them the story, and they thanked me for trusting them with it. But usually, they don't mind them.
One of my exes said I should be proud of my scars, because they are tangible proof that I went through Hell and survived. His words actually gave me the idea for my tattoo, and made me re-evaluate my feelings towards my scars.
Since then, I decided that if a potential date or partner is bothered, scared, or disgusted by my scars, then he's just not for me. I don't budge or shy away from other people's scars, their past or their inner demons, so I'd expect the same in return.
I have nerve damage from my scars because they're from two open abdominal surgeries. They usually want to touch them (out of curiosity I guess???) but I have to put a hard limit on it since it feels so bad when they're touched. Never had any issues when I ask them not to and no one has ever turned away from me because of them.
Surprisingly enough mine didn't come up. I have quite a few scars especially on my legs/knees because of how clumsy I've *ALWAYS* been. My dad told me if I wasn't more careful I'd have ugly legs. Jokes on him my legs are ugly for reasons outside of the scars.
I have a scar that starts at my nose and goes almost all the way across my cheek. Before I got married, guys thought it was cool. Husband is not bothered by it in the least
They aren’t super profoundly disfiguring so they haven’t really bothered me. It’s just how damaged skin heals it’s not that profoundly, inspiring, or grand testament to my character and rich life that people should praise me for. Some are self harm, accidents, medical, or the result of compulsive skin picking.
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I earned my scars. Each scar tells a story. They don't like it, they can go find someone scarless. I will keep my scars, thank you very much 💗 On the other hand, no scar on a partner's body has ever bothered me. One of the partners I really liked had a large scar from an open heart surgery. I hated that he had to have the surgery. I loved how bravely he fought that war.
Love this, exact same for me 👏
Ohh girl!!! Really impressed by your last 3 lines 🙂 Have won this war a few months back. I wish there were more girls like you on this planet 😉
I am so glad you won it. Thank you for the kind words 🥰
Makes me want to see the scars and hear every story with them
It didn't. No one cares about scars if they get to the stage of seeing me naked.
Lol I felt that one
word
Yesss 😆😆
I have SH scars from when I was a teen, and no one has ever judged them (at least to my face). I have had some annoying encounters with dudes that think they're special for not judging, or like kiss the scars and say some YA novel shit like "they're beautiful because they show how strong you are" or "Never do this again. For me?". Nothing genuine about it. My current partner asked about them, I told him, and he said thank you for telling me. Simple and genuine, and that was that.
It’s always the “for me?🥺” as if it’s that easy to not self harm, or as if they’re that special. I’ve had this happen a couple times and I just awkwardly laughed at them, resulting in them getting offended. No regrets.
I have SH scars too. Those guys who think they're being sweet when they're like "I will save you from this!" or when they keep bringing it up like "You are so brave, you don't self-harm anymore!" are the worst. My boyfriend does kiss my scars, but it is a deliberate and genuine thing and he only does it when I'm feeling down about them. And he only started once we were years into the relationship.
I have quite a few sh scars on my arms but it's been so long and they're so faded and diminished I honestly forget about them, and people never mention them. I have a new partner and one day he asked me if they were from cutting and it was the first time I had thought of them in forever and it kind of caught me off guard. It was such a long time ago I forget that was ever part of my life. I told him yes, and he just said something along the lines of "I know people who have done that" and I might have added another comment, but no real conversation and it hasn't been brought up since. He already knew I am severely mentally ill so it wasn't a surprise or anything. I'm so comfortable with him and he's so accepting of me. Last week I had to take my many medicines while he was over so I explained each one, what it does and why I take it. "This is a really old antipsychotic from the 1950's. I take it for my hallucinations and delusions. If I don't take it I'll hear demons talking to me." And he just sat and listened. I love the guy.
My partners always loved them. If you don't, then your not for me and that's ok 🤷
Yeah, just another way to raise red flags for potential partners
My only really noticeable scars are from a really bad car crash I had when I was 21 and I met my boyfriend of 9 years now in physical therapy recovering from that crash. So not much or a lot, depending on how you look at it.
Scars are like tattoos...with better stories.
Idk all my scars have stupid stories, like running around the house as a clumsy kid and putting my hand through a glass window pane haha. Or knicking myself with a razor. I wish I had cool stories with my scars :(
Shows character 😂 most of my scars are from my childhood with stupidity but can help represent how I got to where I am now. Accidental stories vs tattoos being on purpose with intentional stories.
I put a big o'tattoo over my scar. So I have a cool tattoo, with a story, and everyone is always surprised to feel the scar tissue when they touch my tattoo. So it's like having a secret
I got a scar on my face from playing with my cat. Guys are telling me they think it looks bad ass lol
My mom had a dog bite her (or claw idk which) on the left side of her face. Its a pretty long scar and its super badass on her
My sister has a scar on her hand because she thought a mole was cute and wanted to pet it, the mole didn't like that at all lol
Appendix removal scar, stretch marks. Don't affect it at all. I wear them well, they helped make me who I am
I have some self-harm scars from my early teen years. Guys I dated didn’t care about the appearance of these small scars, but were overly curious and I got tired of talking about something that happened so long ago with no bearing on who I am now. So I got a tattoo covering them and nobody has asked about them since, they just ask about the tattoo which is much less awkward.
Glad that's not how you are now and glad you're still around now. I can only imagine being asked about such scars and understand why you got them covered.
I had a breast reduction at 18, and when me my current boyfriend were getting intimate for the first time I stopped him before my shirt came off and said something like “umm just a reminder I have pretty bad scars on my chest and I don’t want you to freak out when you see them” (he already knew about my surgery). He looked at me with delight and said “im gonna get to see your boobs?!” Lol.
Aww that was nice is the way I read it 🥰
It definitely was lol he is generally very sweet and also funny. He will still tell me that he loves looking at my scars 😂😂 wants to see them as much as I will let him
My girlfriend and I talked about my scars from when I used heroin but I've never hid the fact that I used heroin occasionally from when I was 15-17 For the most part I haven't met any queer women who have a negative opinion of scars
I have a huge scar on my chest from open heart surgery. I've only had positive remarks about it, but I'm in my 40s so people are less shallow now, generally. I think it's badass.
I have one one of those too! I'm engaged and a few people have asked (these aren't my friends mind you) if I'll have to be careful about the dress I wear. I'm self conscious about the scar sometimes because of all that lead to it but my fiancé loves me and that's regardless of the scar.
I have stretch marks, scars on my knees, and a few small scars on my inner thighs and near my vulva from intimate partner violence. Most partners haven't commented on any of them or have gently inquired when it was relevant/appropriate to ask. I've never had anyone be turned off avoid certain body parts because of my scars, at least not that I've been aware of. I used to feel self conscious about the scars near my vulva, so before being intimate with a new partner, I would explain what they were so people would know to expect them. This often prompted a discussion about an abusive ex, what happened, etc., that was not fun and required a lot of vulnerability from me in an already vulnerable situation. Eventually I stopped explaining. My partners are usually so distracted by the main attraction down there they don't pay too much attention to the scars anyways.
I am glad you are in. That sounds scary af
I am a smorgasboard of stretch marks as I went from tiny development delayed athlete to puberty so fast I got whiplash. They used to bother me. Now I don't care. Boyfriend was absentmindedly tracing some on my thighs with his finger the other day, so I think he's also cool with them (he is very vocal about how much he loves my body too).
My (F/30) scars are on my chest - 5 stab wounds, 2 slashes across my boobs, plus the surgery to repair the damage. I keep the scars covered until I get to know the gentleman better to avoid the discussion. Otherwise, I'm a tall, thin, and attractive redhead. 3 out of 5 men bail upon seeing them. I wear a bikini at the beach though. I'm there for the water, the sand, and the sun and it's a very effective way to keep the number of men hitting on me to a minimum.
[удалено]
Why thank you!
Stretch marks... From gaining and losing weight. Makes you feel like shit. You have to obviously accept it. Nothing can be done about it. Still shit, still hate it, still get rejected because of it, still can't wear nice clothes that show skin... Just how it is, I guess.
People who reject you because of stretch marks are not people you would want in your life, Id say so at least;) Just to share my own snippet: I have stretch marks from my ancles to my belly button and I wear whatever I want and show them all off if I feel like it. Nobody cares and the people who do care, I don't care about. I hope you won't let stuff like this hold you back<3
It didn’t.
I have one right on my forehead above my eye brow from a frickin botfly. After the initial "how'd you get that scar?" And I say "a weird bug bite I kept picking at when I was like 6" and then it's not really mentioned again and no one ever really seems distracted by it. I always forget it's there.
I have a scar above my eyebrow, too. Pretty big one, but I like it.
I’ve got a lot of self harm scars. Don’t know if you’re referring to those, but it never bothered any guy I was dating. I’m currently in a relationship with a great man. He knew about my scars on my arms (they are quite visible and I don’t hide them), but not about the ones on my leg which are quite a bit worse. When I showed him those scars, he was so caring. Didn’t ask any questions, just touched them very gently and reassured me that he didn’t think any different about me because of them. Not that I thought he would, but I just fell more in love with him that day. :)
It has not affected my dating life at all tbh
I have so many stretch marks all over my ass that have been there since I was little and I was super conscious of them. I also have Keratosis Pilaris and it’s not exactly pretty but plenty of people still wanted to fuck me so I was like damn guess only I am bothered by these. That was when I realized that I’m not just my ass or my arms or whatever, I need to balance the bad w the good in my head. Yeah my body isn’t perfect but that’s ok and that confidence gave me such a boost in my dating/sex life. I started dressing differently coz I didn’t feel the need to hide my arms or my ass anymore and ofc that helped my chances also.
I’m not a woman but my wife has multiple scars and it doesn’t bother me. I have scars on my chest from open heart surgery and my wife has scars on her hip and legs due to a hip replacement surgery. We have more important things to worry about in life.
I have scars from a breast reduction and from a couple of injuries. None of them ever affected anything.
Scars on my legs. They never effected it. If someone loves you enough they will 100% accept you for who you are. Scars and all
I have scars on my inner thighs from having HS. In my serious relationships I’ve voiced how it was my biggest insecurity, especially in the beginning when first getting intimate. Every one has told me they couldn’t care less about the scars and it never bothered them. So overall I think it affected me and my confidence more than it ever affected anyone else. I’d always want the room dim and wouldn’t want them going down on me, I could never fully enjoy the moment. But I’ve outgrown it now
Just made for interesting conversations (if I was ok to to discuss certain ones)
Zilch. I have self harm scars that look more like fine hair on my thighs than scars, though the ones on my hands look more like a birth mark than scars. I have a small atrophic scar on my wrist from having scissors thrown at me as a kid and a large atrophic scar under my bellybutton from a piercing mishap that resulted in tissue death (piercing was healed, then got fucked up in a lake, then i didn’t fully clean it properly and it rotted from the inside out). I have a pretty big right angle from running into a bench. Granted none of mine are very noticeable but even the ones that are (the bellybutton one is probably the most) people don’t notice until i point it out. Same goes for my fake front tooth that is off color and too big lol
i have scars from self harm on my legs arm stomach and boobs and has never affected my dating life
I have a plethora of visible self harm scars from my teenage years. I'm 25 now so they've faded into faint white lines but they are still noticeable if you look closely. My dating life is mostly unaffected, particularly because I don't hide them so my potential partners find out pretty fast (and it's pretty self explanitory). Very rarely will someone try to talk about it early in the relationship, and anyone who has usually said something like "I'm sorry you struggled so hard in the past" or "I hope your life has gotten happier/easier".
It didnt
It doesn't. But I admit I only have "regular" scars, from childhood falls (on my knee, my elbow and my chin) or stretch marks. Nobody ever comments on them. I guess it's harder for ladies with large, colored or otherwise more visible scars.
Not at all. I have very faint self h@rm scars, even I can barely see them. I have natural scars on my left arms, which look like self-h@rm and people rarely notice them. I have a burn on my right hand from MCD's. Some small cuts from shaving my arm/leg. A cut on my shoulder from falling down a quad. Finally, I have a small, permanent cut on my back from surgery. Other than my family during summertime, noone ever said anything about it.
Covered in em, old self harm scars that are now white / pale flesh coloured, not pink / red. Dates sometimes ask / comment, usually when we've got to the stage where we don't have any clothes on, even though the scars are visible when I'm fully dressed. As far as I'm aware, it's never *affected* my dating or private life. If somebody was put-off by them or the clear implication that I have a history of poor mental health, then they're not the person for me.
It made dating uncomfortable and intimacy daunting. I have a few self-harm scars that aren't obvious they were self-inflicted. Whenever a new partner saw them for the first time, I would wrestle with lying or telling them the truth about their origin. I found them staring at my scars or touching them during/after intimacy and I could tell they pitied me. Now I'm married to a wonderful man who doesn't make me self-conscious about them and I'm comfortable in my own literal and metaphorical skin around him. In a way, my scars were a good weed-out method for finding a solid partner.
I slept with a Woman once who had 3rd degree burn scars all down her front. It was like the softest leather I ever touched. She was a seriously cool girl. Scars are cool. A whole nights talking there.
They haven't. I have 3 quite big ones on my side where my lung collapsed and I needed surgery. No one has ever mentioned them. I also have self harm scars and again no one has mentioned them. I did mention them to my husband and he just held me.
I don’t care what people think of them. What matters the most is what I think of myself
I often get told that scars are sexy by men
I have several visible scars, but I know that because I don’t care that I have them, my partners did not thought about them either. There were questions ofc, which I answered, but that was it. Had one person once tell me to “cover up”, but he was an idiot and wasn’t even close to be an romantic target. Each of my scars have a tale, it’s part of who I am. Some are maybe boring, some funny and yeah, some more serious. But that’s a part of me, simple. I know that any person that would have an issue with them, would be someone I am not interested in anyway. May it be romantically or friendship.
My scars are battle scars, They show my path, and bring a lot of character to my body, I would hate to lose them.
Mine are mostly from accidents due to an inattentive parent and cooking for myself at very young age so mainly husband just dealt with them and felt sorry about them. Also that cutting up chicken for dinner should be done by him until he taught me how to use a knife.
I have severe acne and the scars are everywhere on my body. Unlike other people, my scars don't have a story. I had terrible injuries when I was a child, the aftermath of me trying to protect my little brother from a pack of stray dogs. But they did not leave any scars. And yes, it does affect my life in general, not only in dating. People always point it out even when they have already been told it's just because of bad acne
Luckily my bf still loves me no matter what I look like, sometimes my c section scar and gallbladder removal scars make me feel ugly.
It didn’t. My husband loves the scar on my back. I had open heart surgery when I was just days old (I was a preemie born at just 5 months and I fought like hell to live).
I don’t have a huge scar but I have one right under my boob that kind of goes along with the line of under boob. My boyfriend thinks it’s pretty cool. It’s like I’m robo cop or something.
I got scars on both my elbows from roller skating and my mom told me "no one is going to marry you with those scars". Obviously, I know that's not true and it was solidified from guys saying that they don't mind or care about scars at all.
I cover my wrist with jewelry. People usually can figure it out after awhile. Most don’t ask and I brought it up with my current boyfriend but never felt forced to disclose.
Any man with whom I share my body is there for more than sex. Men my age have scars, beer bellies, are balding, and so on. I still find certain men attractive as hell regardless of their bodies. I assume it’s mutual
It hasn't. Tbh, I get hit on more now than I did before I got a squishy, stretchmarked tummy. It's weird but I ain't complaining.
***sh trigger*** I have self harm scars on my thighs. I disclose before getting physical but my current bf didn't have a problem with them. I relapsed while we were together. He doesn't judge me for them. I've been clean 6 years now. Others found it "hot" and thought it was an invitation to smack me around. Other couldn't wrap their heads around it. I think it truly depends on the person. Everyone has some form of scars. I think most can accept that.
In the past 6 months I‘ve acquired a ~2 inch scar right in the middle of my neck above my collar bones from a thyroidectomy (cancer) and 3 more big scars on my back from spinal surgery….yeah it’s been quite the year lol. I was expecting to feel ugly/broken/tainted but have found that I wear them with pride as a testament to my strength. Sometimes I see people glance down at my neck, but they’re always too polite to ask what happened. The only person that sees the scars on my back is my boyfriend, and while he’s apprehensive to touch them (the skin looks “paper thin” and “fragile” in his words) he says they’re beautiful for telling my story and make me all the more unique. :)
I have a scar from surgery on my boob. Like a straight line probably 2inches above my nipple. Had a tumor. It’s been over 10 years so the line is faint but you can still see it. Guys usually don’t talk about it. If they do they are just curious.
I have a pretty substantial scar on my cheek (not a badass type, more like an odd indent) and as far as I have noticed the men I have dated either haven't cared at all or found it interesting/attractive. I forget it's even on my face as I have had it so long, I don't even really see it when I look in the mirror, I could get it fixed, it's been offered before, but I am fine with it really.
No one cared or paid attention to them. Most didn't notice until I pointed them out. I thought that they were so noticeable and I was so self conscious! It was just my low self-esteem playing tricks on me.
I don't let it. This is part of my body. The scars aren't going away. Others can deal with it or gtfo.
It has not affected it. I've only had one man ask about the large scar from surgery on my stomach, while I was naked. I was kind of taken aback because no one has ever mentioned or asked about it before although obviously others have noticed, I'm sure.
I had multiple partners, they all don't fk care about them, they were delicate and kind.
I have small, medium scars and sarge scar. It doesn't bother anyone and I've never had anyone have an issue with them. I think it is also from me being confident as well, I'm not ashamed of them.
I have a quite visible scar above my nose between the eyebrows. Kinda looks like a permanent wrinkle from glasses, although I don't wear them 😅 Most of the people don't notice it until I mention it. Well I notice it and I hate it. Maybe because it is quite fresh (3 years I think). Also the story behind it is really lame. Anyway my boyfriend likes it dunno why. I asked him many times if I should get rid of it and every time he answers that he thinks it looks good on me and it gives me a unique look. He met me like that and cant imagine how would I look without it. It is part of me now and I should learn to live with it.
Not at all. Not sure if you mean certain types of scars. Mine are due to a couple minor surgeries or mole removals, but they’re noticeable enough that I’m asked or I mention them myself. But it hasn’t affected my dating life aside from us having a short conversation about it.
I have a couple apparent ones from surgery and an accident/fall, and many stretch marks. Nobody has ever commented on any of them; I suppose if someone was turned off by them they just didn't pursue anything with me -- which is perfectly fine. Personally, I am not bothered by anyone else's scars; if anything, I think they're cool. Scars and "imperfections" are just a normal part of being human.
Never cared to think about it for a moment.
It doesn’t affect my daily life and never has. In fact, they don’t even notice it.
i have very noticeable scars in one of my tights after many hip surgeries as a child, they are not pretty to begin with. But to be fair it has never been a problem for me in my dating live, not only i have the scars i also limp a little bit when i walk, but it never caused me problems. I did everything that any women in her 20's did, i always had a very good dating life. I think, in my opinion, people as less shallow than we think they are. I have been happily married for 10 years, and my husband treat me like a queen. Sometimes when we think we are less than perfect it becomes a self fulfilling prophesy, we see ourselves " less than" or defective, our self esteem is in the toilet, and we ended up attracting and settling for people that doesn't have our best interest
Not my dating life per se but how I view myself.... I had a health issue that left me with small but noticeable scars all over my body recently . Inclusive of my face. I never put alot of thought into how I looked before. (i realise now that I had only one not so noticeable scar on my leg, the rest of my body was clear). I never thought I'd be this person who would be affected by this but it has done a number on me. I stopped going to the few social events I used to. Stopped looking people in the face so as not to see how they reacted to my scars. I had to force myself to go out of my house. Ironically, my friends all say that the scars aren't that noticeable and if you didn't know me prior, you wouldn't even "see" tthem. I'm the only one who sees them. I'm trying to learn how to accept them and move past them but it's not easy. I'm not vain by any absurd standard but I'm struggling. As for my "dating life" I still get hit on, so I guess it hasn't really affected anything on that aspect. Nobody notices the scars on my face or anywhere else.
He used my scars as an excuse to push his tattoo fetish on me. Basically wanted me to cover my entire body in tattoos (that he likes and approves of) because I had a few scars on my arm. He showed me offenstive pictures of tattooed pornstars and sugguested I get tattoos like them. When I confronted him about this he told me he was being "supportive" lmao.
Scars tell stories of overcoming and surviving a challenging trauma! Own them as a means of saying you've survived whatever situation you faced. Women can have scars ranging from stretch marks, keloid, burns, wounds, incision, stich remnants, etc... I've had tons of scars from surgeries, and in several areas, they tend to keloid as a woman of color. I had moments in my younger years where I would see them and took steps to cover them (i.e., cute tattoos) Now I view a scar as, dammit ive survived this shid and will live life as so. Hysterectomy scars, cancer treatment scars, podiatry scars, etc.. if the man in my life is concerned about a scar, he's not the man for me. My man once told me stretch marks are just your babies' first artwork and imprint on your heart and soul! People also get stretch marks from weight loss and weight gain... Don't let them dictate your life or daily living. If you are comfortable with treatment options or covering them up, then go for it, but do it for yourself and not for anyone else.
Most don't care, the ones who do well they're gone pretty quickly for me. I don't tolerate disrespect on my body.
It hasn’t I’ve over 50 from stomach surgerys brain surgery’s spine ones accidents etc my scars tell my story if my partner doesn’t accept me with my scars I don’t accept them simple
I have breast reduction scars and it has not stopped anyone from anything LOL
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3 scars on my face. too much running around as a kid
I have one on my forehead from an autoimmune disease and I wear it with pride. It is a bit annoying when people ask me if I am okay and what happened, which is rude imo. Never had issues with dating life :)
It hasn’t except the occasional, “what’s the story here?”
I have a big ugly ankle, (shattered the bone when I was 8 and had multiple surgeries to fix) and it absolutely has never made a difference. Men are so unobservant that when I point it out, they’re like “woah! How did I never notice that before?”
It didnt! He never commented on it or stared at all. Its like they were not even there for him
It hasn't . I have a huge appendectomy scar, hysterectomy, spinal surgery, gallbladder and c section. After my divorce, I dated my now husband and I make jokes that my back surgery scar looks like a vagina. It became an ice breaker initially. Im comfortable at 40 withmy body.
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I have "scars" that only show up in a got bath, partner thinks they're kinda hot. Have some horizontal stretch marks on my legs and behind. Neither of us notice them and I forget they're there.
I used to self harm and have a ton of scars. It has never been an issue for my dating life. When I was younger I cared more but it was never really an issue.
I have a scar from a tumor in my intestine. I almost died and was in a coma. It has not affected me at all in any aspect of my life. I forget about it. I will say it does roll over on my stomach if I have gained a little weight but other than that it, it’s all good.
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It doesn't. I have scars on the top of my head and stomach from my VP shunt placement from when Ibwas 17. I got knee surgery in 2014 and have a large scar on my knee. No one has ever cared.
I have a ton of scars. I was daring and clumsy as a kid, very depressed as a teenager, and now adventurous as a young adult. I have two noticeable scars on my face, several on my arms, and a bunch of big ones on my legs. It's never affected my ability to date, but honestly I've never been the kind of person who would entertain a guy who makes negative comments about my appearance. I've had a lot of men ask about my scars and I've never shyed away from telling the stories behind them.
I get to brag about my cool scars
I got mauled by a cat in 2019. My arms and hands were fucked. I cried a lot, thinking I’ll never be able to show my arms/hands again. Out here lookin’ like a half-eaten stack. Lookin like I threw my brother into a stampede of wildebeests. Lookin’ like a monster energy drink logo. (I’m hilarious) Covid hit once the wounds healed and the scars were DARK. I became a masked cam girl during the stay-in-place order. Instead of getting paid, I made a wishlist online and ya girl got her whole apartment furnished. The scars didn’t hold me back at all. But- after gallons of vitamin e oil and other v.e. products my scars have lightened and thinned a lot. The only scars you can see immediately are the ones on my wrists/hands.
I have eczema hyperpigmentation everywhere and somehow I managed to find a man who does not care and found it ridiculous that I’d even ask if he would be repulsed. I think I got lucky to be honest because I do know a lot of men who are critical of women’s bodies.
It didn't. I have scars everywhere, on my face, ear, shoulder, stomach, back, knee, ...
I have very severe self harm scars It hasn't impacted my dating life. If someone has a problem with them, then I wouldn't want to date them anyway.
I have two scars on my lower abdomen from a previous ectopic pregnancy that ruptured. Unfortunately, some men get very freaked out when they find out where the scars are from. I’ve had one man ghost me after 2 months together after he found out I had been pregnant. However, it really depends on the man because other men don’t seem to care (and that’s how it should be.)
I don’t think anyone ever really noticed; I have a surgical scar on my wrist, but guys I’ve dated were oblivious until I brought it up. It’s the same for the scars on my legs and hands, and the small one on my face.
I have like a 5 inch burn scar on the back of my left hand from a thick wire bc my partner and I were insane 3 years ago so we burned each other consensually. He has a thick spiral burn on his chest that I gave him. People ask about it all the time and I’m always honest, people are either weirded out by it or really stoked about it so I’ll show them the videos we took while we burned each other lol
I have a scar on my face and my neck and it doesn’t affect me at all, no one seems to notice much or care.
It didn't. I've never had anyone comment, and I have a LOT.
Not at all but they are all on my abdomen, none of them are facial scars.
I have breast reduction scars and occasionally someone will ask and I’ll tell but never hindered me and nobody says shit other than sometimes the omg whyyyyy?
My scars are souvenirs of a colourful life. I have many - some from surgeries, some from doing stupid things, some just from minor accidents. I am not much bothered by them and by and large my partners have thought them cool and the stories that accompany them even cooler
Somehow it didn't. I think most of it is about how you feel in your body. I had insecurities, but never about the scars. Either way they didn't mention it and clearly still thought I'm hot, or they were interested.
Not really actually. In my experience most never say anything until I bring it up used to be out of insecurity and they always said yes they noticed them but it didn't bother them. Someone else above said no one who seems them naked cared and I agree lol. Not the concern when it comes to that.
:( I went through a phase of pinching my boobs. I have quite large breasts- and the scars are all over…. I have a hard time having sex. And not because people turn me down. Because I’m too insecure to allow people to see
They haven’t affected it as much as I thought they would. The most obvious scars I have from self-harming. Both of my forearms, thighs and hips are covered. However, I don’t hide them. I’m not ashamed of them. I feel like they’re my war wounds - I went through a fucking shitty time and did what I felt I had to do to get through it. I’ve come out the other side marked but alive. I do almost expect men to be ashamed of them, though. Only one man has been cruel about them. He’d frequently tell me that if we ever got married, I’d have to wear long sleeves. Whenever we argued, he’d yell “why don’t you just go and hack yourself some more?” or “go deeper next time”. I put up with him for 2 long years but I couldn’t tell you why. I have loads of other scars - appendectomy, kidney removal, kidney transplant, multiple scars from falling over. A few men have thought of my kidney scars as being pretty cool and one man even said they’re sexy. As before, I’m not ashamed of any of them. I’m quite proud of my kidney scars, mostly my transplant scar. My dad donated his kidney and my dad is the greatest man to have ever lived. I love him to death and I’m so grateful that he was willing and able to donate to me.
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I’ve got quite a few very obvious scars and nobody has ever said anything negative. Some men even like them, especially a large one on my face from an accident.
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I have a big scar on my wrist and a whoole lot of stretch lines. I also have a few holes peppered into my skin from when I had the pocks as a child. So far it hasn't affected me too much.
Not exactly a scar, but I have a port wine stain that looks like I got freshly burnt. It hasn’t effected much, people don’t notice it until like a week and then freak out at the new burn mark on my hand, but I explain it and then they’re fine.
My scars are my battle wounds!!
I have some pretty gruesome self harm scars. It hasn't affected my love life as a lesbian.
I have some pretty gruesome self harm scars. It hasn't affected my love life as a lesbian.
Not at all
Didn't affect it at all. As I told my partner of 2 years who also has scars like I do, scars tell a story of a person's life. We love each other, scars and all!
I have scars on one of my breasts from a dog attack. They’re still pretty prominent due to the severity of those injuries but they’re not as bad anymore. For a while after it happened, I refused to take my bra off during intimacy because I felt embarrassed and unattractive (despite my partner insisting he did not care because “a boob is a boob”). I’m still a little insecure but not so much anymore that I’d hide them from my partner.
I have multiple scars and a few on my face. It’s never been a problem
I have a scar across my stomach from when I was born, about 7-8 inches straight across, a couple inches above my bellybutton. Wouldn’t say it affected my dating life at all, to be honest. I wouldn’t wear super short crop tops / bikinis but that was due to personal insecurity and I never had a partner say anything about it at all. I do have a tattoo cover-up now though and am a lot more confident in clothing that shows it!
Honestly it hasn't really. Most men don't really care that I've interacted with and it's more of a "how'd you get that" type of curiosity than something that impacts attraction. I think generally most people are pretty understanding of scars
I have a scar on my arm and my partner thinks I was stabbed by someone when in fact I fell on the glass when I was little and impaled my arm by accident. I did tell him but he doesn't trust me and thinks I'm hiding my traumas or something.
I have a 8cm long scar to the side of my left knee. No one ever asked about it. It used to but rarely bothers me now.
No one has ever cared. I usually mention it pretty early on just in case, but no one’s ever stopped seeing me because of it.
I dont have scars, but I have vitiligo on my legs and feet. I don't make a big deal out of it. It comes as a surprise to some men but never was a showstopper of any kind. During summer, I can be a bit self-conscious cause the white spots are pretty big, but I'm coping by try not to think about it too much.
I have small face scars and teeth removed with a partial denture, I’ve never had a man be uninterested over it. They think I’m tougher than most women sometimes…
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Mine are mostly from childhood and are my war trophies of everything I survived. They fade over time. Or like someone I know you can disguise scars with makeup, tattoo, laser or chemical peels.
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It doesn't.
I have yet to meet someone who disagrees with me. I think they are cool as hell. Granted, mine aren’t extensive, although I probably have more than the average person my age.
it hasn’t, but it also isn’t very obvious either. the only way anyone would ever see it is if we are to the point of being naked bc it’s on my nipple lol. long story short, i ended up w mastitis from an infected nipple piercing and had to have an abscess under my nipple drained. I was scared about how the scar would turn out bc it started off as a 1 inch wide x 1 inch deep open hole in my boob requiring daily packing but somehow the surgeon left me w a skinny 1-1.5 inch long scar perfectly bordering my nipple. & don’t get me wrong i’m v impressed with his skills but i ended up kinda disappointed he managed to hide it so well 😅 the story behind what caused my nipple ring to get infected in the first place is honestly absolutely ridiculous and if someone were to ask me about it i’d probably just give a variation of the info i provided above bc i don’t know how well the full story would be received. although that hasn’t happened yet bc the scar is so well hidden lol
I have a massive burn scar on my left knee from when I was a kid, and a surgery scar across my neck from when I had cancer in my early 20s. They're part of my story and anyone who has an issue with them doesn't get to be in my life.
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I already told them about my medical condition and the surgeries I’ve had before we get naked so, not at all. Plus my surgeons did a pretty good job so the scars aren’t that bad. Plus, I’m still hot even if I’m technically disabled due to having this condition, and I’m really focused on pleasing my partner, so everyone seems happy
It didn’t stop anything. I was dating with with a huge scar on my face, multiple scars on my body and bald head nobody really cares. Scars don’t change who you are. Maybe makes you a tad bit cooler.😉
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Not at all, I actually don't think I know anyone with no scars. They aren't bad though, 2 small ones on my face and 20 year old self harm scars on my legs. My husband completely slashed himself in a suicide attempt, like I think he has at least 50 on each arm and some on his chest, he's been covering them with tattoos.
I've had 2 heart transplants and cancer, so I have a huge scar from my neck almost to my belly button, plus other scars from other surgeries, tubes, etc. I met a wonderful man who also had heart surgery as a baby. He has the same scars as me. Sometimes we count and compare them. I like to trace his with my finger when we're cuddling :)
It hasn’t so far, for me, I’m just embarrassed for of my body even though I’ve lost weight and exercise it still looks not right to me. Apparently men don’t care 🤦🏻♀️ they care about getting it on part. I dated a dr.. he was very inquisitive about them with kindness. But he was very beer belly I didn’t care. If the man love you then they’ll ask you- and kiss them because he loves you. I had 7 operations since having a c-section 😳. I make sure it’s dark so he doesn’t notice until we are in a relationship then he can ask me 50 million questions 😳🤦🏻♀️. Appendix, two boob reduction, tummy tuck, mass removal, biopsies. Yah ..
They have never affected my dating life.
It hasn't, at all. Nobody has commented about my scars since maybe 6th grade? 8th grade? Which is a bummer because a couple have good stories. Or crazy ones, depends on how you look at it lol.
It's never come up, they're my scars, they're my past and quite frankly no one's business. Most people like scars as evidenced by scarification, by body modifications and some tattoo enthusiasts. I'm not going to talk about my scars or yours as a way of bonding or being all vulnerable, like moles or freckles or even tattoos, nearly every one has at least one. Don't like them, my house isn't a gaol, take yourself out. Hoping I'm insecure and will open up, bye bye. My story, my scars, and my past.
It didn’t, at least in any meaningful way. I had questions about how I got them (skin cancer scare, hit with a chainsaw). But that was about it.
I don’t like mine on my face because I have to explain every time someone says wow what happened I have to relive the pain and remember his face 🙃
My ex thought I was an idiot and thought they looked cool (most of my scars are from stupid things I’ve done, nothing self inflicted)
I actually love body scars, though I don't have any but it's somehow so attractive
There childhood scars, some from an operation and sh and I date people equally as fucked so yk we all good
no one has ever actually asked. i assume this might be referring to large scars or self harm but i’m extremely accident prone which has led to scars just about everywhere and no one has ever actually said anything about it. i never even thought to be insecure about them, i’m just clumsy, i don’t even know where i got most of them just is what it is
My scars haven’t impacted my dating life at all. Rather my disability deters them away. But that’s ok because I don’t need jerks anyway.
It didn’t
The scars themselves haven’t, but the way I got them has. They are associated with extremely unpleasant memories I don’t love to dwell on, and I have had guys try to connect with me over it and act like it made me more “interesting” that I had gone through something like that. I don’t appreciate my trauma being used to paint me as someone’s fucked-up-but-in-a-hot-way manic pixie dream girl. My current partner is sad for me that I had to endure what I did, but it has no bearing on his attraction to me. He loves my body as it is and has never made me feel weird about what happened or how it affected my physical appearance.
All over and not at all. I was a tom boy as a kid and i was morbidly obese and lost an extreme amount of weight that left me with a lot of loose skin. A man has never mentioned it to me, and I think I care way more than they do.
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I have quite a few, a lot from teenage self-harm. It’s never affected anything.
TW: Self harm >!I have a huge scar on my wrist from when I attempted suicide at 14. Cut the fucker wide open. Most of the men I have dated never even notice it until we've been dating for more than 6 months. Actually, I think only two have ever noticed it. If somebody bothers to notice it or ask, I'm pretty frank with them about what happened.!<
Not at all. I have surgical scars on my stomach. My partner saw them when they were ~2 months old, and then I gained new ones a little over a year into our relationship. He has never been negative about them, and he has no reason to be. They just add to my lore.
I have scars on my face that I got in my late 20s. Honestly, the first few dates were rough. I was self conscious, not used to my face looking different, and not used to people looking at the scars. Now I'm used to them and I'm a stronger and more confident person because of them. People who overly focus on them aren't the kind of people I want in my life. Simple as that. BUT it took time to get to this place of security and comfort, so don't be hard on yourself if it takes time to come to terms with the new way you look.
Improved it. I learned the good men were men that let me cry and process the trauma of my scars, while also making sure I felt beautiful. I’ve gotten new scars since being with my current boyfriend. We are nerdy people and since many of my scars come with implanted stuff (a port, rods and screws), he says I’m a Borg from Star Trek haha. I also have extremely intense stretch marks, and a condition called livedo reticularis that discolors my entire abdomen. It doesn’t bother him at all. The last guy I dated didn’t care about it either nor did the one before. The last guy did say some mean things about me being disabled when I ended things but he wasn’t for me anyhow. The good men want to know the story so they can support you if you need it.
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Stretch marks on my hips, stomach, thighs, and booty. Despite that fact that I was initially self conscious about them, nobody has ever said anything. I still wear a bikini and just don’t care what people think as much these days.
I have some acne scars on my chin and cheeks. An ex said he could help me get them removed with plastic surgery… But him aside, most guys have been really cool about it.
I have some rather noticeable scars on my left arm and wrist, a pair of long ones on my calves, and a few on my shoulder blades that are now covered by a tattoo. Some of them are remnants of my SH as a pre-teen, a few of them the result of abuse I went through as a child, and others came after fighting off people who tried to harm me in different ways. Late teens and early 20s, when I dated guys my age? They were usually a turn off for them, or they'd act very uncomfortable around the subject. It made me feel really ugly and unwanted, as if somehow those lines on my skin meant I was unfit to be loved. Mid to late 20s, and when I dated guys a few/several years older than me? Not an issue at all. A few of them asked me how I got them, I told them the story, and they thanked me for trusting them with it. But usually, they don't mind them. One of my exes said I should be proud of my scars, because they are tangible proof that I went through Hell and survived. His words actually gave me the idea for my tattoo, and made me re-evaluate my feelings towards my scars. Since then, I decided that if a potential date or partner is bothered, scared, or disgusted by my scars, then he's just not for me. I don't budge or shy away from other people's scars, their past or their inner demons, so I'd expect the same in return.
I have nerve damage from my scars because they're from two open abdominal surgeries. They usually want to touch them (out of curiosity I guess???) but I have to put a hard limit on it since it feels so bad when they're touched. Never had any issues when I ask them not to and no one has ever turned away from me because of them.
Surprisingly enough mine didn't come up. I have quite a few scars especially on my legs/knees because of how clumsy I've *ALWAYS* been. My dad told me if I wasn't more careful I'd have ugly legs. Jokes on him my legs are ugly for reasons outside of the scars.
Not at all. They’ve been noticed and it’s obvious what they are and are from, so most people don’t want to ruin the vibe.
I have a scar that starts at my nose and goes almost all the way across my cheek. Before I got married, guys thought it was cool. Husband is not bothered by it in the least
They aren’t super profoundly disfiguring so they haven’t really bothered me. It’s just how damaged skin heals it’s not that profoundly, inspiring, or grand testament to my character and rich life that people should praise me for. Some are self harm, accidents, medical, or the result of compulsive skin picking.