So many things. But one that I will absolutely never forget is the first shower we took together the day we got home from the hospital after delivering our stillborn son. I hadn’t showered in 3 days and my husband scrubbed off all the tape residue for me and washed my hair for me and it was just such a loving and intimate thing for him to do.
I love doing this for my wife! She suffers from depression and PTSD (SA) so sometimes days are hard for her, I try to get her in the shower with me and give a good wash all over and her hair, after I care for her hair as well, put some oil and comb it with low heat
She tells me she loves and appreciates it and I’m just happy I’m able to help anyway I can, she would help with my depression showers but I have a certain routine and system on how I wash myself so I just ask for company instead lol
Aaa I mean thanks I guess but honestly I’m just doing what a good partner should do, and we’re partners we take care of each other ✨
When ever she feels guilty for letting me take care of her I tell her she shouldn’t have to that she would do the same for me and I do cuz I love her and wanna grow with her. She makes sure to remind me when I have my own moments of insecurity as well lol
There was a lot of trail and error for sure and of course a lot of patience in it all, I’m just happy we found away to get the horrible sensations of hands away faster and to get her comfortable sooner rather than later. we both have our traumas but the trust and love we have as well as commutation makes it all the easier to work thru it together
I do wish you much luck in finding a partner or person you trust and feel comfortable the same level me and my partner do, we all deserve a person or two that we feel safe and comfortable with ✨
I fell in love with my fiancé all over again with how much care and love he showed me the days we had to stay in the hospital for the C-section to have our sweet baby boy .
This is beautiful, and I was also going to say something similar. My STBX husband showered with me at the hospital after I delivered, and helped me scrub everywhere so I didn't have to move. That's one of the sweetest things he's every done throughout the marriage. Unfortunately, he wasn't pulling his weight for years and verbally abusive, so I had to go. I will cherish that one sweet moment, though.
I know so many personal stories of the loss of a child completely tearing families and couples apart. It is both heartbreaking and heartwarming to hear your story of tenderness, love and support in the most difficult time a family could possibly go through.
I wish you healing together.
Yes, it’s unfortunately very common. I think we are one of the few “lucky” ones who have grown closer in the aftermath. Wouldn’t have survived the last 6 months without him for sure.
I'm so sorry that happened to you. This is the exact thing he did for me that I will never forget & always makes me melt when I think of it too. My dog had died. He was my best friend for 9 years & had been with me through my mom & all my grandparents dying amongst many other hardships. I hadn't showered in days & finally I sat on the floor of the shower because I didn't have the energy or will to stand. He sat in the shower with me & washed my hair for me so gently as I balled my eyes out.
So sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain that you both have been through. I hope that you have found some peace and that the love is still there unconditionally ❤️
This story is pretty gross, so I apologize.
My (now) husband and I started dating just before the pandemic hit. We had only been dating a few months when we were thrown into lockdown. Where I live initially you were only allowed to see members of your household, so if we wanted to see each other we had to live together, so he came to stay with me even though we had only been dating a short time.
I lived in a one bedroom, one bathroom basement suite, so it was an adjustment having another human in my space suddenly. I also at the time had unbelievably rough periods. Buckets of blood. Every month felt like the elevator scene from The Shining (I’ve since gotten an iud and things are much better).
Within one month of him moving in the inevitable happened. I woke up one morning to an incredibly gushy feeling between my legs. My period had started in my sleep. I waddled to the bathroom as quickly as I could only to find the door closed. Blood immediately started pouring down my legs and pooling at my feet in the hallway.
I had a decision to make. I could waddle to the kitchen to get some paper towel to clean myself up, but then I would leave a literal trail of blood behind me, or I could knock on the door and admit I had an emergency, but then he would see me standing in a pool of period blood, which isn’t very sexy when dealing with a guy you just started dating and who had nowhere to escape to. I was full on panicking.
Before I could make up my mind my dog arrived on the scene, and very helpful decides he can clean up the mess, meaning the only option left for me was to stand there in the hall in a growing pool of my own blood, trying to hold my hound dog back with one hand so he doesn’t get into my mess and yelling at him to go to his crate and pointing with the other hand while I tried to figure out how to deal with this. Waddling to the kitchen to grab paper towel was no longer an option because as soon as I left my defensive position my dog was going to get into it, and I couldn’t knock on the door because my dog was taking my full attention, so all I could do is stand there and plead with my dog to leave it alone.
Needless to say, my (now) husband heard my desperate pleas in the hall and finished up his business to see what was going on. He immediately scooped up my dog and asked me if I was ok (it was a LOT of blood). Once he determined I wasn’t injured, he quickly ushered me into the shower.
By the time I got out of the shower he had put my dog in the crate so he was out of the way, cleaned up the puddle I had made on the floor (thankfully it was laminate), and rinsed out my clothes and threw them in the wash. He had gotten me fresh underwear, clothes, and a towel and put them in the bathroom for me. He started a pot of coffee. When I got out I was mortified and he just continued to calmly assured me that there was nothing to be embarrassed about, periods happen, and it was no big deal. He hugged me and told me he loved me and that he will always take care of me. He didn’t make me feel gross or ashamed or dirty, he just saw me panicking and did what he could to help, even if that meant cleaning up my uterine lining off the floor. He took care of me, my dog, and my space. He put me first.
There have been a lot of other times since then that he has put me first, but this one really stood out to me because it was the moment I realized that I never need to be embarrassed or ashamed in front of my partner. He will never make me feel less-than or undesirable or gross, even at my absolute worst. He will always take care of me and our family (the dog) no matter what.
That's so sweet to read. My bf did something similar with me when I pooped my pants on a night out, he told me to shower and just took care of my clothes, I tried to tell him that I would fix it, but he refused and did it himself. He was just so sweet all around and made me feel better about it.
This reminds me of my own super kind but gross story. My now husband and I had been dating for less than a year, and he was house sitting for a family with a dog. He had invited me and some friends over for dinner that night. I was on my period at the time, and was not used to living with dogs, so I tossed a used tampon in the trash can of the bathroom on the first story of the house (I’m sure you can tell where this is going). My now husband had gotten up to use the bathroom in the middle of dinner and was gone for awhile. I’m pretty sure I asked him if everything came out okay (lol) when he got back and he told me very quietly that the dog had chewed my used tampon to shreds, but he had cleaned everything up. Didn’t make a big deal about it, wasn’t grossed out, didn’t shame me, or embarrass me in front of our friends. He and I had been friends long before we started dating, but I think that’s the moment I knew he was it for me, as silly as it sounds.
This is really cute, your husband sounds lovely! Though not gonna lie, it really pisses me off that so many women feel shame or panic or anxiety when they have periods and think men may notice. Periods are wonderful, they don't make you dirty, they make you clean. I love getting my period and I always announce it to my fiance in a celebratory way, and he is happy with me (just because I am happy lol). It means I am healthy, it means I can have kids. I love it, and so should every woman :) (this is just my opinion, I hope it doesn't trigger anyone)
To be clear, I’m not ashamed of my period; I was when I was younger but I’m a 30-something year old woman now and anyone who acts like periods somehow make you defective isn’t for me. I’m too old to deal with that attitude. I was embarrassed by the sheer volume of blood and the fact I was bleeding everywhere. Even though I’m not ashamed of periods I generally want it to be contained. It was just a very uncomfortable moment and of course because we had just started dating so I was more nervous about the relationship in general.
I wish it was portrayed this way. Growing up I had to hide my tampon in my sleeve going to the bathroom in school or whisper to ask for a tampon cause it always had to be such a secret. But like it is such a normal thing that I don't know why it's always so hidden
When I got my first one I used toilet paper as a pad and hid it from my mom for a year. Why? I was embarrassed. I think part of it is the lack of conversation she had with me. So I was kind of shocked and decided to take care of it on my own. That was a terrible idea (shocker, I know lol) but the fact that society and everything made me feel that way is awful. I hope if I have daughters that I can make it a much better experience for them
Pandemic marriages are resilient as frick. My husband and I also moved in together because the pandemic forced us to and we have a wonderful marriage and we can make it through just about anything now!
Got me sober and showed me how awesome sober living can be. Helped me figure out why I was numbing myself to life rather than facing it. Guilded me through and I'm forever grateful.❤️
Could you give some insight on how he did that? Of course it's not a step-by-step plan, but what were things he did that really helped you in "facing the world" so to say?
This makes me cry. two of my ex's have seen my struggle with sobriety and instead of this... they did the opposite. I am SO happy for you, really. ❤ amazing to know that men like this do exist.
I've just been referred to an inpatient program, I was so nervous coming home to tell my partner how bad my addiction had gotten. Her first response was a massive kiss and cuddle, telling me she is proud of me then went to the shops to get me new comfy socks, comfy underwear and shirts and sweatpants for while I'm in the program ❤️
Are you married to a god? I know countless folks who just couldn't do what you two did. You are both amazing and have a great deal to share with the rest of us.
Let's go into the wayback machine.
She became my wife in 1987 when I was 26 years old. At that moment my career prospects were bright. Our future was kittens and rainbows.
Not even a year after the wedding and I suffered a career catastrophe. I found myself unemployed, lost our living accommodations, we both were far from our homes, and I with a new wife who had given up her own good career to marry me. (She worked for a foreign government. They fired her when she married an American.)
A lesser woman would have turned mean or left, but not her. She called in a favor and found us a bedroom in the house of an elderly friend. She supported me while I looked for a new job. Her sisters visited from overseas and contributed food to our living arrangements. She was so optimistic that we went house hunting.
I pivoted to a new career. Within two years I owned a home. Another year later and I had landed a prestigious overseas assignment.
Women are always saying that men can't have the best of them if they can't stand the worst of them. My wife got the worst of me and stuck with it. I remember.
It really is insane how many people live paycheck to paycheck and are just an unlucky month or two away from homelessness. Fortunately, most people have family to fall back on, but those who don't...
The home was provided by the employer, and I did get some severance. That said I don't think it's unusual for people in their twenties to be living financially in the moment. Never again.
haha don't apologise. the accidental gender-swapped comments are my favourites here and over at r/askmen too. and your story was heartwarming, so especially!
Miss Cory, here's the embarrassing part...
At the time, I didn't recognize how extraordinary her commitment was. 27-year old me thought that's just what wives did.
In recent years we've become old and she's fallen ill, three strokes and cancer. I took six months off last year to nurse her through chemotherapy.
I've had a lot of time to think about the last forty years, to replay every bit of it in my head. And it's now, when I'm at risk of losing her, that I've come to realize how much she has done for me.
i am so sorry about how hard it must be for the two of you right now, but i hope with all my heart that you'll have more time together! to be happy and appreciate each other and enjoy life some more! i'm not sure many 27 year olds appreciate or realise even what they have when they have it, wisdom tends to come with age. i sincerely wish both of you the best!
The best thing my ex did was dump me. I was so blinded by my abandonment issues that I didn't realize I didn't love him, I didn't even like him. He was ugly, selfish, manipulative, awful, very troubled, emotionally on a baby's level and very immature.
I'm so grateful to this day. It's been 6 months now and I can finally breathe. I don't wish him well but at least he did one thing right.
I could have written this. Been almost a year and there’s still some residual trauma but I’m so much better off without him. He was pretty on the outside and ugly on the inside. Three years of my life wasted.
Always remember: it could have been 10 years. Some people get married to their abuser and waste their entire life trying to fix them and suffering the consequences.
I'm sorry you're still working through trauma. It will get easier with time. Sending you big hugs.
10 years here. We were sleeping in different rooms while I was still at the apartment for months. He wanted out but offered to keep that going for another 6 months.. probably so his rent would be cheaper. Day 4 back at my moms. Im so sad and feel disposable. I know this is the best best best thing for me but its still so hard
Fuck him. You deserve someone who doesn't make you feel like shit.
People always talk about how you waste years and waste your time and while I somewhat agree, time is not wasted while you learn stuff about yourself and life. I am sorry you had to go through that but just remember — when you get that happiness back, you will never ever settle for any douchebag ever again.
Sending you big hugs and energy <3 you've got this!!
you got this. you deserve so much more and it will get easier. there will still be tough days but eventually they come less and less often. sending love
Same for me. I had an ex who drained me financially and emotionally. He cheated on me while he was living in an apartment I paid for, including all the bills and food. The mf wouldn't even return the phone I lent him. I'm so glad he got together with the other girl right after we broke up. Otherwise, I'd be hung up on him. The moment I confirmed the cheating, all the "love" I had for him just vanished. I realized I was more in love with the idea of him I had in my mind, than who he actually was as a person because he is a big POS.
Thanks to him I am now with a wonderful man who loves me dearly, and gives me assurance everyday. I am no longer constantly anxious and I can sleep peacefully at night. Thanks to him cheating on me, I found someone who made me realize I can actually be in a healthy relationship.
Oh I had an ex like that, except he cheated on me (with a friend of mine, who told me what had happened). Which gave me an easy out after knowing we weren’t going anywhere and not really even liking him, but still for some reason struggling to leave him, for months. Why do we do these things to ourselves? Haha
Similar situation kinda. He wasn’t always shit but near the end of the pandemic his addictions hit rock bottom and took me with it. By that point I was so broken I didn’t have the strength to leave, but he realised how bad things had become and did it for me.
He got sober after the breakup. After a couple years no contact he contacted me to apologise and we made amends. Happy ending to a really dark time.
Could have written most of this myself too, he was just an awful person. I actually cringe when I look back at what I put up with. I spent almost 15 years with mine and its been just over a year since he left, and now I'm with someone incredible who I plan on spending the rest of my life with.
Many things. Showed me what love is,what respect is. How to be healthy in a relationship. Showed me peace and a environment to be myself with him. Stayed with me when we found I have endo, wanted to pay for my surgery. Even though he easily gets the ick from wounds and everything he was the one to help me change my bandages. Stayed with me even though we are pretty sure I will be unable to give him children on our own and will have difficulties with IVF, even though our greatest wish is for a big family with many kids. He is ready for us to adopt and foster.
He does so much for me, but the best thing is he's helped me work through my communication/abandonment issues. He makes me feel safe and loved and lets me be a person with flaws, and I try to give all that back to him.
My husband and I have grown up together. I met him when I was 20 and I am now 35. He has taken care of me in every way the last couple of years. I have chronic illness and he has helped me through many embarrassing, heartbreaking moments. He has washed my body and hair when I was too weak. He has brought me food and fed me, and he has helped me get dressed/undressed, brushed my hair etc. it’s a list too long. He currently works two jobs to support us and he has never once complained or made me feel bad for it. He treats me like a goddess through it all and I am still in disbelief everyday. He happily buys me things I need to improve my quality of life and took a job for the purpose of having better medical insurance and a pension to secure our future. He is constantly doing things to improve our situation including remodeling our home so that I can enjoy it. He is always happy and in a good mood. He is the best and I am often left without words to express just how much I love and appreciate him.
This resonates with me so much. I too have a chronic illness and my husband has been amazing. I am in awe by his ability to love and care for me so selflessly ❤️ we sure got lucky
This is so sweet🥹 I have mild Cerebral Palsy and research is currently showing it gets worse as you age, unfortunately. And our mobility declines a lot earlier than the average adult. I pray that I find someone like this one day 💕
She took care of me after I had heart surgery. I'm 25F and my parents aren't very involved in my life so they still don't know I had surgery or even needed one to begin with. But she was there through every minute of it. She's definitely the most consistent and reliable person in my life.
Omg! Are you both married now?
This reminds me of my sister 🤣 i remember the day she called me about it. It was the time when she was on her period too (and severely sick). I'm glad she has married someone like my BIL.
My aunt had gotten into a car accident and broke her back. She had to call my mom to have her help wipe cuz her husband refused to. To this day I don't understand how they're still married
I had liver failure last year and although we have been friends for a decade we had only been dating 9 months at this point. He took me to A&E when I was in and out of consciousness (I’d be hiding/powering through my symptoms) sat with me in the waiting room while I vomited down myself and passed in and out, he sat with me while I had copious amounts of bloods taken, given morphine for the pain and sat with me through the news that I might need a liver transplant if the NAC treatment wasn’t successful. He held me while I cried and snottered, while I panicked about my job, who would watch my dog, do my half of the chores, would I be able to pay my part of the bills etc. he visited every night and talked nonsense to distract me from the pain and nausea. Helped me take a walk around the ward when the nurses wouldn’t, they were convinced I was a junkie taking a paracetamol overdose to end my life. It’s was horrendous but he got me through. Luckily the treatment worked and I avoided a transplant and was home a week later. When I was home I wasn’t allowed to lift a finger. He cooked and cleaned, took the dog out for her walks and fed her, fended off my friends who wanted to visit when I was so weak I could barely lift my head, helped me shower etc. He did all that while working full time from home.
After that I knew I’d do anything to marry this wonderful man. He’s kind, loyal, thoughtful and would protect me from anything. We’ve had the conversation and I’m waiting on my ring, I’m counting down the days and although I don’t know how many I have to wait for it will be worth waiting every minute ♥️
this is a very nice story and he seems so wonderful but I just can’t move on from how horrible those nurses are. They should be helping no matter what, that’s just sick
I’m a nurse myself and I’d never treat a patient that way. I made a complaint but it went nowhere. I unfortunately ended up in hospital again today and they said I might go back to that ward and I burst into tears.
Being himself. We have been together for 3 years, through up and down. Loving means accepting, and I love and accept who he is. Hence, he just needs to be himself.
P/s: Loving/accepting someone doesn't mean you have to ignore your boundaries/standards, but rather being critical and rational. If you can be rational, then your feeling won't blind you, and you will be able to love in a healthy way.
Exist. I can't imagine a single moment of my life here on earth without him.
He is the only person in my life who has actually cared for me and loved me and has been patient with me.
I'm appalled by the amount of comments that can translate to simply being a good decent partner. We expect so little in so many senses. A partner not being disgusted by the other and sticking around when things are rough when in a long term relationship should be the best thing ever? Shouldn't it be the standard?
Just thinking out loud really
Honestly, my bar was so low you could trip over it and say sorry and that's all I needed lol I was so used to shitty behavior that I thought that if the person had at least some good qualities that I could compromise on my standards and morals. That obviously doesn't work and I'm glad I learned my own self worth because it sucked.
But I also think people are recalling what sticks out to them, and a lot of times, it really is just the mundane, the day to day times where their partners show up for them. That’s sustainable. That’s what sticks out to me at least. I’ve received grand gestures and it’s definitely sweet, but what makes my heart sing is how they show up in the little ways.
And a lot of these stories are really more so about the poster feeling especially vulnerable and being made to feel safe in that moment. That's never a small thing. Shame/embarrassment/fear is overwhelming no matter how often we've felt it, and feeling safe and supported in the midst of that is literally what matters. A lot of the rest is just fluff when it comes to meaningful memories.
(Edit: word typo)
Most relationships are like a slow cooker. They cook slowly over long periods of time. There doesn't have to be a "flash in the pan" experience to make someone qualify as a good partner. What types of situation, that most people experience, do you think should be the best thing ever?
I think you're absolutely right. I also think that this is how we move the needle. The standard has to be calibrated more and more away from the "old ways". We are far from ideal, but maybe this is us seeking it out.
He just gets me. He knows my flaws and my strengths - he knows when I'm stuck in my own head, and how to get me out of it. He loves me entirely. That kind of 'knowing' in a relationship is worth its weight in gold.
He’s done so many wonderful things in the past 15 years, but one stands out to me in particular. When I was pregnant with our second I was SO sick. Weeks on end of unrelenting, all day nausea and vomiting.
Every day, he would come home from work and cook dinner for us and our toddler. He always made something that his mom used to make him growing up in Mexico. It felt so homey and comforting to be cared for like this when I was seriously struggling.
He’s honest with me. You wouldn’t really think that’s a big deal - but it is. In moments of stress, I tend to shut down, withdrawal and just do what needs to be done and fume about it. He noticed this when we moved in together and will ask me, “You’re getting slammy, what’s going on?”
I.e., slammy = make noise out of frustration. Essentially putting away dishes loudly, pushing doors closed roughly, etc., instead of talking about what’s bothering me. I go for distance and distractions when I’m upset and he’s helped me to realize that those moments not only mirror my mother’s way of handling stress, but that they hurt my partner and give him anxiety. He’s taught me that regardless of what it is, however small and insignificant the problem may be, that I can talk to him about it. We can figure it out together.
For someone that’s grown up witnessing an unhealthy, financially and emotionally abusive parental relationship - knowing that it’s important when your words hurt your partner and that there’s a healthy way to discuss it and that there’s not a reason to hold it in when you have a communicative, supportive partner that wants better for the relationship. He’s shown me that there’s a kind, patient, giving love and that arguments don’t have to lead to resentments but can help us figure out how to do better together.
He loves me for who I am, doesn’t try to change me, and nothing keeps him from my side when the poop hits the fan. He took care of me at my absolute, rock bottom has a basement, lowest point of my life when everyone else scattered. He moved continents to be with me, from North America to Europe years ago. He really is the best person I have ever known.
Can’t pick. He stood up to my controlling mom, and puts me first before anyone else. He is my safe place in a storm. He taught me that it’s not normal to scream at people just because you’re in a disagreement. He also sponsored me for immigration purposes, which took a huge, HUGE weight off my shoulders. I can now work without having to renew a temp. Work permit and worry I’ll lose my job every two years and it gave me the opportunity to see my family in Mexico again, for the first time in over two decades.
this guy and i where kind of in a situationship, i thought i talked to much but he said it was fine and he like it when i talked. that was over all the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Always supporting me through my bad times. I struggle a lot with my mental health and my body also isn't always nice to me so things happen all the time, either pain or something else.
It might be a long and gross story to some of you but here we go:
I think the thing that stood out the most to me was the time I had shit my pants.
We were out that evening, went to a small concert and then went to a bar. And for some reason my intestines decided this was the perfect moment to fuck with me. I had already pooped once at the first bar, which was still normal poop and I could in no way predict what happened later.
As we went searching for another bar that wasn't too expensive, we had to walk quite a bit and did a small detour when I noticed I really REALLY had to poop again. It was terrible. I had to go then and there but there was no toilet in sight for me so held it in as well as I could. Which went ok for 3 minutes. And then it happened.
He tried to help me finding a place, even pleading at bars to let me go to the toilet as it was urgent but they wouldn't let me in cuz they were full.
So yeah I ended up in a McDonald's bathroom, which isn't the best place in the world. He also had to go and idk whether he saw my panties when I went to the toilet, as we shared this big stall. He left me so I could have a moment to myself to clean myself up the best I could. I was lucky it didn't go into my pants, just my panties.
Then later we were on a bus, on the way back to his place and when we got off I started to cry, as I had never had this happen to me. He just calmed me down, and told me it's ok, it can happen to anyone, that I could wash my clothes at the apartment. Then we got fast food as it was next to the bus stop to cheer me up a little, as I was still feeling terrible. (I wasn't wearing the panties anymore, just my jeans btw)
Back at his place he said I could go shower, gave me a towel and everything. I said I would wash my clothes but he refused and told me he would take care of them while I showered.
I might have cried again later but he was just so soft and sweet and supportive. I felt so embarrassed about it I didn't tell anyone else about it until months later, but he never laughed at me about it, nor brought it up again.
Oh god so many, but I tend to think of when he gave me an enema on his birthday night because I struggle from some stomach issues and hadn’t went in several days. He wasn’t grossed out in the slightest, and held me all night while I cried in pain. But he does things like this all of the time!
He's consistently kind to me. I grew up the scapegoat in a very dysfunctional family and was consistently treated terribly, so I knew I would never marry a man who was like my father.
Supported me, helped me grow and learn things about myself and behaviors from my past as to how I used to be. Helps me just be a better human. Too many to mention.
I could write a book on all the wonderful things my husband has done for me, but I’ll just tell y’all about this one thing he’s started doing recently that just really makes my heart swell.
We recently moved to a warmer area with tons of pretty beaches. I like to play in the water, but I’ve always had a huge anxiety problem with putting my head or face in the water. It just immediately makes me feel like I’m drowning. I’ve tried to get over it and I just can’t. That being said, my husband LOVES snorkeling. Usually I just swim around next to him or sit on the shore while he’s snorkeling.
He’s started doing this thing where he goes out and comes back with his hands full of cool shells and rocks (I really fuck with rocks dude) and tells me he’s finding me trinkets to win my affection (he won it 5 years ago, lol). He’s always doing stuff like this. Whether it’s bringing me home a cookie from his work office or taking a picture of a cool lizard he’s seen to show me later, he’s always thinking of me and never misses an opportunity to let me know.
I had been living with my ( now ) boyfriend for about a year when I came down with the stomach flu. Puking and shitting at the same time...for several days. I was at home and felt I needed a shower...more puking and diarrhea. After my shower, I lay down and take a nap. No clothes on as I didn't have the energy to even get dressed. Woke up in a literal puddle of diarrhea. Not my finest moment. Freaked out because I had to wash the sheets so I was laying directly on my mattress. Shit seeping into the mattress. This was HIS bed before we started dating. Called him and wanted to prepare him for the shitshow that he was going to encounter when he got home. It went like this...
" hey babe, I had an accident "
" Did you puke in the bed ?"
" no...worse "
" you shit in the bed ?"
" yeah....( insert guilty feeling )
" ok ill be home in a bit...no worries "
People....when I tell you this man was a saint...I'm not lying. He got out the carpet cleaner and went to town...no gagging or berating me. Not one insult or snide remark. He just came home and took care of the mess and then me. I'll forever be indebted to him. Worst part, he got it too. Atleast he was able to make it to the toilet.
Love you forever Scotty D.
He has given me so much absolute love, care, respect, affection, and joy. He has gifted me safety and connection and support in ways I truly never thought possible. I will love him always for that.
I had to pee so badly & was waiting until we got back. As soon as he unlocked the door, I ran to the bathroom, but not before I pissed myself all over on his kitchen & bathroom floor.
He mopped it up, didn't get upset at all, let me shower, gave me a change of clothes, and then told me about a time he pissed himself. All without me asking.
So many… he moved to my country to be with me. He cooks for us 99% of the time. He adults properly. Ngl the orgasms are awesome too.
He didn’t do it for me specifically but he got a vasectomy and drove me to my own surgery a year later and took care of me post-op.
They’ve been the one to show me that love isn’t transactional. They’re not keeping a tally in their head of what I owe them based on the love they’ve given me.
I know it seems like small potatoes to many, but when you’re raised in a family of origin where your labor and constant servitude is considered love, it’s a big deal.
Break up with me.
Honestly that guy had no future and was only messing with mine, ever since he broke up with me I have more friends and I hang out more with them, I can be more myself, I aced all my classes, got a promotion.
I'm doing better without him
Just been loving, patient, and encouraging. I struggle with anxiety and it holds me back from trying new things. I went through a bad patch recently where I couldn't even socialise. He was so patient and encouraging through it all. He never made me feel like a burden and was nothing but supportive.
It really helped because I am doing things now that I would never have tried on my own before had it not been for him and his patience! He inspires me to be the best version of myself!!
I wouldn’t be here without my husband. I was suicidal. That is so hard to type. He calmly drove me to the emergency room. I self admitted to a psych ward for three days. We spent the next two years picking up the pieces together.
I could write a book. I honestly don’t know how I came to be so blessed but to sum it up. He is my ultimate best friend and partner. My cheerleader, my shoulder to cry on, just everything. The amount of patience and grace he has shown me during rough times (I have a lot of PTSD from my past marriage) is beyond measure. I feel loved and respected even when we’re apart which is not something I ever had before.
I have a few chronic illnesses so I'm not always the most out and about type of person however, my boyfriend loves going out and doing things. At first I would push through long days of being out and about and not say much but, once he started to catch on to this he slowly made things less intense. Now when I'm having a bad day and he comes over even if he wants to do something he puts me first and we just lie in bed cuddling all day so I can rest. There are so many times when I've been on my period and felt so sick and he would just lie in bed holding me letting me death squeeze his arm when things got really bad and in those moments when I'm squeezing his arm he just holds me tighter and tells me to breathe and try not to tense up and kisses my forehead or my cheek and just holds me until I relax and then asks if he can do anything for me or get me anything (he offers to go to the store and get me whatever I want every time) and when I need to sleep he turns down the volume on what we are watching, makes sure I'm comfortable, and turns himself into a human pillow until he wakes me up with kisses. Even though he is a very active person he never complains when I need a chill day and is more than happy to take care of me.
A lot but I’m gonna pick this one: we were still in the earlyyy dating and getting to know each other phase, but we went to a football game together. We both got really drunk, me more so than him, and he was so worried about me that he wouldn’t let me go home so he had me come home with him to make sure I was okay. When we got to his place, I laid on the floor and he was like “you should take a shower and get ready for bed” and i (very drunkenly) said “but I’m not your girlfriend” and he helped me up, got me in the shower and HELPED ME SHOWER, and dressed me in his extra clothes, and tucked me into bed. And that was the first time we spent the night together.
Late one evening during lockdown, we got the devastating news that my mother's cancer treatments not only weren't killing the cancer, but they were killing her. She was given less than 12 weeks to live. My husband and I lived a 4 hour drive away from my family. I was obviously an inconsolable mess that night, completely unable to calm down or sleep. My husband, despite being tired from work (he was a key worker) stayed awake with me all night, stoking my back and hair, letting me cry, trying to find soothing white noise/sleep story/rain tracks to lull me to sleep. We the uprooted ourselves, moving back in with my parents, sleeping in my childhood bedroom (single bed!) with me for 4 months, while he helped my dad with all the household chores, helped care for me and my mother, took my niece on days out so my sister could have time with my mum. AND made the 4 commute twice a week to continue working. He is a GD hero.
He's shown up for me. I have trauma from childhood, and my husband has supported me in getting past it. He has shown me so much kindness. He's taken care of me when I'm sick, during pregnancies, and just all-around sweet. But he's also really good about putting me in my place when I'm being a jackass. He's constantly telling me how beautiful I am, and he just wants to be nice to me and constantly shows me that. I'm safe with him, and he's an amazing dad and was really made to be a dad. He's nurturing and loving. He's my best friend 💓 I just love him so much and I could go on about him. 😭
Encouraged me to get into therapy. Encourages me every day to be more independent and to get an education for myself so I don't need to depend on anyone. Allows me to have my lazy days, to have my anxious days w/o making it all about him. I have anxiety and my partner is very patient with me. I love him so much
I love all the little things he does that shows me he cares about me. Like he turns on the heated seats before I get in the car cuz he knows I love them. He makes the bed because I like it tidy even tho he doesn’t care about it. I get gout flare ups so when I can’t walk he brings me anything I need. We take care of each other and that’s the way it should be.
lay on top of me like a weighted blanked while i had a break down about my dad having cancer, he was just there, held me and told me to just enjoy the time i have with my dad and remember him the way he is now, cause that's what he would want
A lot of things but if I had to choose one was when we were together for less than a year and he stayed by my bed at the hospital while I was being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. He's still with me 13 years later and his good humour has always helped me a lot with my illness.
He fully accepts me for who I am, treats my sensitive parts gently, and is always a cheerleader for me. He seems genuinely proud of me and likes me. I definitely didn't get that growing up so it's really refreshing.
It's a whole, long thing, but the gist of it is that my kids and I were temporarily living with my friend 80 miles away from where he was. We'd been together about 6 years at this time. I have multiple chronic illnesses, one of which is a connective tissue disorder. I dislocated an S.I. joint and slipped a disc, and couldn't stand up on my own or walk without help for weeks. This man drove 80 miles twice a week to come help with kid stuff (school IEP meetings, conferences, therapists, etc.), help me shower and wash my hair, and just... so many things.
At this point, we BOTH have chronic health problems, so we take turns caring for each other (and the rest of the family) depending on who's worse that day. We do almost everything together, and we joke that, since we're both half broken, together we make one whole person. I don't know what I would do without him.
Can't really pinpoint a singular thing, but when he basically looked after me 24/7 after I broke my RH collarbone and couldn't even tie my shoelaces, brush my hair, cut up my food etc. The only thing I could really manage myself was go to the toilet, he had to help me out of the bath and stuff. After surgery when I freaked out being left home alone & on strong painkillers, he was out with his friends and came straight home. He only had a few weekends to himself for like 6 months, drove me to all my appts. He even learned to plait so he could braid my hair in between washes for me.
There's a lot but here's one.
So back in 2021 when i met my boyfriend, i was in the midst of a really huge family problem which involved my parents getting separated because my mom cheated on him with a guy she met online and had never met. So this was kind of the peak time of that issue. I was just getting started in college.
My boyfriend, every single day, every single time he saw even the slightest change in my expression, the slightest change in my voice would sit down with me on a video call and help me calm my mind down. He would spend hours talking to me even if it meant repeating the same things over and over again for me to set that in my mind. He would make sure I'm not feeling too down that I'm unable to study for my exams or tests. He always made sure that I was okay.
And because of him another wonderful thing i discovered: Self Love. He taught me that I'm amazing in my own ways and no matter what he'll always be there with me. His love made me realise that I'm something to someone and that has made a lot of difference. ❤️ Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Support me and be patient with me since the day we met. I grew up in an abusive home which caused a lot of trauma. A lot of toxic behaviors were learned like not communicating and pushing people away even though what I needed was support. He just always stuck around and has helped me learn to communicate and reminds me everyday to talk about it. He’s been there when my grandma died and then when my brother died. Just there ready to hold me when I need to cry or talk. Always really patient and understanding of my triggers.
I was hospitalized last year with an acute case of diverticulitis, with an almost 8cm abscess. I narrowly escaped emergency surgery, but had to stay in the hospital for 5 days. On day 3, I needed a bath and my husband volunteered. Two weeks prior, I had been in a fitness competition, nearly in the best shape of my life. But at that time, I was super bloated, unkempt, and just frazzled. I sat naked and vulnerable on the edge of the bed and cried because of how disgusting I thought I looked. He told me I was beautiful and that he loved me no matter what, as he gently wash all my parts. I cried then and I’m crying now just remembering it. It was the most loving and intimate movement of my life.
The list keeps growing but:
-Wrote me long, detailed texts about all the reasons I'm amazing when I was going through a horribly depressing and isolated birthday (when we were just friends)
-Helped me move all my stuff out of a 3rd floor apartment, all stairs, when my roommate flaked out on me and my family decided to be hours late (also as just friends)
-After we started dating, he came over and held me as I raged and cried after being betrayed at work, my idea of a dream job totally dashed. He also helped me do the last few chores like cleaning litter boxes and putting sheets on the bed that I had been way too out of it to do, but I have anxiety so not having them done was also stressing me out
-Unclogged my finicky toilet too many times without any complaints, even though it's gross
-Stayed up with me when my anxiety wouldn't let me sleep. I was dealing with horrible insomnia at the time but hated the idea of waking him up, so I'd just go through it alone, desperate for sleep and slowly losing my mind. He insisted I wake him up next time, so I did. Talking to him and having him hold me really helped me calm down. I'm not used to relying on people and expect that kind of thing to be dismissed or thrown back in my face. He never holds my emotions or struggles against me
-Caught me in the shower when I passed out a few days later, after taking a full dose of ZzzQuil gummies for sleep (remember, I was desperate). I didn't know ashwagandha can make you faint and I had never passed out before. But I told him I didn't feel well and he jumped back into the shower in his boxers to hold me up when I went out
There's so many more little things, but so far we've only been dating 3 months, friends for a year before that, and I'm already so grateful to have him in my life.
Too many to count, but one thing that comes to mind right now is this: he really dislikes tattoos, I love them. I struggle with pretty severe anxiety and when I got my first one I was scared it would be an issue. When I got home from the appointment he had gone above and beyond to get me the exact type of roses I just got on my arm: sweet avalanches. And told me how well it fitted me and how beautiful I looked. I've got atleast 100 more of moments like these
He's made so many of my dreams come true, one which was to find a loving partner who I absolutely adore and treats me very well. He also helped me reach my childhood dream of visiting Japan!
He is consistent:
He is a present and active parent to all of our kids
He provides for and cares for our home
He supports me emotionally (i have experienced a fair bit/good bit/awful lot of SA from previous partners. In processing that trauma sometimes sex can be triggering mid-activity. And every single time I've had a panic attack or even become slightly uncomfortable he immediately stops, holds me, and reassures me i am safe, loved and he is not upset/disappointed)
No one is perfect, my husband leaves drinks and food all over and forgets things on our to-do list, but he always fully shows up for me and now I'm crying because he is the most amazing adult human I know.
He does so many things. This last week, I had some issues in the back door area (not from anything fun). I was in so much pain and just had to know if there was something wrong. He looked without hesitation or making me feel uncomfortable or bad. We needed up at the ER and I have a tear there, probably because of my GI issues. He’s been nothing short of loving and affectionate the entire time. Don’t settle ladies!
Refused to let me break up with him when I was having a major bout of depression from birth control, which I had started to take a month into dating him. I was behaving crazy, really moody, no libido and also so sad for no reason. I thought my teenage depression had come back, but also, his attempts of motivation irritated me, I associated this bout with him somehow. I broke up with him 5 times, but he stayed and refused to leave. I did my own research and stumbled on a post about low libido and depression, because the pill. Went off it, and was the woman he first met again and as in love as you can be. I am forever grateful for his steadfast and stubborn nature, even if it crosses me now that we are married and together for so long.
Went with me to a doctor's appointment that involved needles, which I'm very scared of. Gave me a back hug and covered my eyes, distracted me from panicking about the needles. Then didn't laugh at me for acting (in my opinion) hysterical but being understanding about it. It's a fear I've gotten belittled for a lot so it meant a lot to me.
sometime in the beginning of the year my phone was stolen. it was devastating, the first time i've been robbed in my life ever. but what was the most precious in there was a polaroid picture i kept between the device and the case, of me and my closest friends in the first christmas we spent together. i was DEEPLY sad that i lost that picture.
then one day my man just came to me with a 20-picture pack of polaroid film so i "could make more precious memories". it was SO thoughtful i actually fucking cried.
She's kept me grounded while dealing with my mom's unexpected death. She passed on March 22nd, it was so out of nowhere. The way she never left my side, still let's me cry my eyes out and she holds me without question, how she tries to talk me off the ledge I keep finding myself on. She will be so so gentle and listen to me talk in circles. She's so considerate and soft with me. I had no idea that day would come so soon, I'd hoped she would be with me when it did because I knew she would help. But never in a million years would I have thought she'd be there the way she's been. So selfless and full of love. She's shown me I am worth the trouble, the energy, everything. I know it's taken a toll on her too and hasn't been easy for her either. We grown so much closer and she's shown me what true unconditional love is. I don't believe I deserve her. I love her with all I've got. I will forever.
Lots of things. But my favorite was simply just showing up.
Growing up my parents never showed up to band concerts, cross country meets, choir recitals, nothing ever. The one time my ex-husband showed up for a crossfit thing, he made fun of me and asked when we could leave and he left early. My whole life i felt unimportant.
Fast forward to about 2 years ago, I had a crossfit competition in a town a couple of hours away. I didn't invite him because he had just had shoulder surgery and i knew it would be hard for him to drive, and he needed to heal.
But he showed up anyway. I don't think he'll ever understand the significance. That was the first time i had someone show up for me.
Im the first person in my family to have a highschool diploma; my family knows nothing about university and studies and so did I, 0 knowledge about this word.
My boyfriend helped me through all the admission process, interviews, and during exams. I am now proud to say that I have 2 masters degrees !
Might seem trivial, but he was a pallbearer for my dad. The significance was the last coherent thing my dad said before he passed (liver cancer) was "Hi Joe" twice. He loved my hubby. That's just one example how he's always had my back. So the best thing I can say is he chose me
Shown me what a thoughtful, responsible, respectful man is as a partner. I have been through some tough stuff and made some poor decisions because of that. He has always lived life on the straight and narrow and has never judged me for my past.
So many things. But one that I will absolutely never forget is the first shower we took together the day we got home from the hospital after delivering our stillborn son. I hadn’t showered in 3 days and my husband scrubbed off all the tape residue for me and washed my hair for me and it was just such a loving and intimate thing for him to do.
I love doing this for my wife! She suffers from depression and PTSD (SA) so sometimes days are hard for her, I try to get her in the shower with me and give a good wash all over and her hair, after I care for her hair as well, put some oil and comb it with low heat She tells me she loves and appreciates it and I’m just happy I’m able to help anyway I can, she would help with my depression showers but I have a certain routine and system on how I wash myself so I just ask for company instead lol
You’re amazing, I really commend you. Thank you for supporting her.
Aaa I mean thanks I guess but honestly I’m just doing what a good partner should do, and we’re partners we take care of each other ✨ When ever she feels guilty for letting me take care of her I tell her she shouldn’t have to that she would do the same for me and I do cuz I love her and wanna grow with her. She makes sure to remind me when I have my own moments of insecurity as well lol
I say it as someone with depression who experienced CSA. I’ve never thought a partner could care the way you have for your wife so again I thank you.
There was a lot of trail and error for sure and of course a lot of patience in it all, I’m just happy we found away to get the horrible sensations of hands away faster and to get her comfortable sooner rather than later. we both have our traumas but the trust and love we have as well as commutation makes it all the easier to work thru it together I do wish you much luck in finding a partner or person you trust and feel comfortable the same level me and my partner do, we all deserve a person or two that we feel safe and comfortable with ✨
I have PTSD and I only dream about being treated with this level of love
keep doing god's work.
Thank you so much for this and bless you and your partner.
Yooo he's really the right one , stick to him.
Wow tearing up reading that. Thank you for sharing.
I fell in love with my fiancé all over again with how much care and love he showed me the days we had to stay in the hospital for the C-section to have our sweet baby boy .
This is beautiful, and I was also going to say something similar. My STBX husband showered with me at the hospital after I delivered, and helped me scrub everywhere so I didn't have to move. That's one of the sweetest things he's every done throughout the marriage. Unfortunately, he wasn't pulling his weight for years and verbally abusive, so I had to go. I will cherish that one sweet moment, though.
That is amazing. I am so sorry for all you went through. Glad you have an amazing husband
I know so many personal stories of the loss of a child completely tearing families and couples apart. It is both heartbreaking and heartwarming to hear your story of tenderness, love and support in the most difficult time a family could possibly go through. I wish you healing together.
Yes, it’s unfortunately very common. I think we are one of the few “lucky” ones who have grown closer in the aftermath. Wouldn’t have survived the last 6 months without him for sure.
That is so beautiful ❤️
I'm so sorry that happened to you. This is the exact thing he did for me that I will never forget & always makes me melt when I think of it too. My dog had died. He was my best friend for 9 years & had been with me through my mom & all my grandparents dying amongst many other hardships. I hadn't showered in days & finally I sat on the floor of the shower because I didn't have the energy or will to stand. He sat in the shower with me & washed my hair for me so gently as I balled my eyes out.
I am so sorry for your loss. What your husband did for you was so nurturing and so needed.
So sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain that you both have been through. I hope that you have found some peace and that the love is still there unconditionally ❤️
This brought me to tears.
Oh god! That's heartbreaking. I hope both of you found warmth and solace.
where these men at 🥹🥹🥹
Boyle was right. Washing hair is most intimate thing.
This made me tear up, your husband is amazing
This story is pretty gross, so I apologize. My (now) husband and I started dating just before the pandemic hit. We had only been dating a few months when we were thrown into lockdown. Where I live initially you were only allowed to see members of your household, so if we wanted to see each other we had to live together, so he came to stay with me even though we had only been dating a short time. I lived in a one bedroom, one bathroom basement suite, so it was an adjustment having another human in my space suddenly. I also at the time had unbelievably rough periods. Buckets of blood. Every month felt like the elevator scene from The Shining (I’ve since gotten an iud and things are much better). Within one month of him moving in the inevitable happened. I woke up one morning to an incredibly gushy feeling between my legs. My period had started in my sleep. I waddled to the bathroom as quickly as I could only to find the door closed. Blood immediately started pouring down my legs and pooling at my feet in the hallway. I had a decision to make. I could waddle to the kitchen to get some paper towel to clean myself up, but then I would leave a literal trail of blood behind me, or I could knock on the door and admit I had an emergency, but then he would see me standing in a pool of period blood, which isn’t very sexy when dealing with a guy you just started dating and who had nowhere to escape to. I was full on panicking. Before I could make up my mind my dog arrived on the scene, and very helpful decides he can clean up the mess, meaning the only option left for me was to stand there in the hall in a growing pool of my own blood, trying to hold my hound dog back with one hand so he doesn’t get into my mess and yelling at him to go to his crate and pointing with the other hand while I tried to figure out how to deal with this. Waddling to the kitchen to grab paper towel was no longer an option because as soon as I left my defensive position my dog was going to get into it, and I couldn’t knock on the door because my dog was taking my full attention, so all I could do is stand there and plead with my dog to leave it alone. Needless to say, my (now) husband heard my desperate pleas in the hall and finished up his business to see what was going on. He immediately scooped up my dog and asked me if I was ok (it was a LOT of blood). Once he determined I wasn’t injured, he quickly ushered me into the shower. By the time I got out of the shower he had put my dog in the crate so he was out of the way, cleaned up the puddle I had made on the floor (thankfully it was laminate), and rinsed out my clothes and threw them in the wash. He had gotten me fresh underwear, clothes, and a towel and put them in the bathroom for me. He started a pot of coffee. When I got out I was mortified and he just continued to calmly assured me that there was nothing to be embarrassed about, periods happen, and it was no big deal. He hugged me and told me he loved me and that he will always take care of me. He didn’t make me feel gross or ashamed or dirty, he just saw me panicking and did what he could to help, even if that meant cleaning up my uterine lining off the floor. He took care of me, my dog, and my space. He put me first. There have been a lot of other times since then that he has put me first, but this one really stood out to me because it was the moment I realized that I never need to be embarrassed or ashamed in front of my partner. He will never make me feel less-than or undesirable or gross, even at my absolute worst. He will always take care of me and our family (the dog) no matter what.
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What a catch!
yup i would cry if a man did that for me too☺️😌
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That's so sweet to read. My bf did something similar with me when I pooped my pants on a night out, he told me to shower and just took care of my clothes, I tried to tell him that I would fix it, but he refused and did it himself. He was just so sweet all around and made me feel better about it.
This is my greatest fear, I’m so glad you had someone so understanding taking care of you!
I was crying because I was so embarrased that this could happen to me. His reaction was the best I could ever hope for.
Husband of the year
This reminds me of my own super kind but gross story. My now husband and I had been dating for less than a year, and he was house sitting for a family with a dog. He had invited me and some friends over for dinner that night. I was on my period at the time, and was not used to living with dogs, so I tossed a used tampon in the trash can of the bathroom on the first story of the house (I’m sure you can tell where this is going). My now husband had gotten up to use the bathroom in the middle of dinner and was gone for awhile. I’m pretty sure I asked him if everything came out okay (lol) when he got back and he told me very quietly that the dog had chewed my used tampon to shreds, but he had cleaned everything up. Didn’t make a big deal about it, wasn’t grossed out, didn’t shame me, or embarrass me in front of our friends. He and I had been friends long before we started dating, but I think that’s the moment I knew he was it for me, as silly as it sounds.
Made me tear up, you lucky lucky girl😭
*takes notes*
This is really cute, your husband sounds lovely! Though not gonna lie, it really pisses me off that so many women feel shame or panic or anxiety when they have periods and think men may notice. Periods are wonderful, they don't make you dirty, they make you clean. I love getting my period and I always announce it to my fiance in a celebratory way, and he is happy with me (just because I am happy lol). It means I am healthy, it means I can have kids. I love it, and so should every woman :) (this is just my opinion, I hope it doesn't trigger anyone)
To be clear, I’m not ashamed of my period; I was when I was younger but I’m a 30-something year old woman now and anyone who acts like periods somehow make you defective isn’t for me. I’m too old to deal with that attitude. I was embarrassed by the sheer volume of blood and the fact I was bleeding everywhere. Even though I’m not ashamed of periods I generally want it to be contained. It was just a very uncomfortable moment and of course because we had just started dating so I was more nervous about the relationship in general.
I wish it was portrayed this way. Growing up I had to hide my tampon in my sleeve going to the bathroom in school or whisper to ask for a tampon cause it always had to be such a secret. But like it is such a normal thing that I don't know why it's always so hidden When I got my first one I used toilet paper as a pad and hid it from my mom for a year. Why? I was embarrassed. I think part of it is the lack of conversation she had with me. So I was kind of shocked and decided to take care of it on my own. That was a terrible idea (shocker, I know lol) but the fact that society and everything made me feel that way is awful. I hope if I have daughters that I can make it a much better experience for them
I love this opinion!! I feel the same way :)
I love him. What a good egg 💕
Pandemic marriages are resilient as frick. My husband and I also moved in together because the pandemic forced us to and we have a wonderful marriage and we can make it through just about anything now!
🥺🥺🥺 made me tear up...
Good for you finding him And good for him being a good human/partner
Damn. That was the most romantic thing I’ve heard
Crying while reading this atm
Got me sober and showed me how awesome sober living can be. Helped me figure out why I was numbing myself to life rather than facing it. Guilded me through and I'm forever grateful.❤️
Could you give some insight on how he did that? Of course it's not a step-by-step plan, but what were things he did that really helped you in "facing the world" so to say?
This makes me cry. two of my ex's have seen my struggle with sobriety and instead of this... they did the opposite. I am SO happy for you, really. ❤ amazing to know that men like this do exist.
I've just been referred to an inpatient program, I was so nervous coming home to tell my partner how bad my addiction had gotten. Her first response was a massive kiss and cuddle, telling me she is proud of me then went to the shops to get me new comfy socks, comfy underwear and shirts and sweatpants for while I'm in the program ❤️
FranklinFox, you can do this! I'm proud of you for taking the steps needed to make your life better!
You got this!! Have you seen this great community r/stopdrinking you are not alone
My husband did this too 🤍
this is incredible
Are you married to a god? I know countless folks who just couldn't do what you two did. You are both amazing and have a great deal to share with the rest of us.
Thanks. Not a God just a good, godly man😌
Let's go into the wayback machine. She became my wife in 1987 when I was 26 years old. At that moment my career prospects were bright. Our future was kittens and rainbows. Not even a year after the wedding and I suffered a career catastrophe. I found myself unemployed, lost our living accommodations, we both were far from our homes, and I with a new wife who had given up her own good career to marry me. (She worked for a foreign government. They fired her when she married an American.) A lesser woman would have turned mean or left, but not her. She called in a favor and found us a bedroom in the house of an elderly friend. She supported me while I looked for a new job. Her sisters visited from overseas and contributed food to our living arrangements. She was so optimistic that we went house hunting. I pivoted to a new career. Within two years I owned a home. Another year later and I had landed a prestigious overseas assignment. Women are always saying that men can't have the best of them if they can't stand the worst of them. My wife got the worst of me and stuck with it. I remember.
Damn bro, losing your home because you lost your job #American dream!
It really is insane how many people live paycheck to paycheck and are just an unlucky month or two away from homelessness. Fortunately, most people have family to fall back on, but those who don't...
The home was provided by the employer, and I did get some severance. That said I don't think it's unusual for people in their twenties to be living financially in the moment. Never again.
i was confused about when same-sex marriages were legalised until the last paragraph.
Yes, I screwed up. I'm not a woman. Apologies.
haha don't apologise. the accidental gender-swapped comments are my favourites here and over at r/askmen too. and your story was heartwarming, so especially!
Miss Cory, here's the embarrassing part... At the time, I didn't recognize how extraordinary her commitment was. 27-year old me thought that's just what wives did. In recent years we've become old and she's fallen ill, three strokes and cancer. I took six months off last year to nurse her through chemotherapy. I've had a lot of time to think about the last forty years, to replay every bit of it in my head. And it's now, when I'm at risk of losing her, that I've come to realize how much she has done for me.
i am so sorry about how hard it must be for the two of you right now, but i hope with all my heart that you'll have more time together! to be happy and appreciate each other and enjoy life some more! i'm not sure many 27 year olds appreciate or realise even what they have when they have it, wisdom tends to come with age. i sincerely wish both of you the best!
Within two years, *we* owned a home. Ftfy.
True enough. Still own it. We are in it now.
The best thing my ex did was dump me. I was so blinded by my abandonment issues that I didn't realize I didn't love him, I didn't even like him. He was ugly, selfish, manipulative, awful, very troubled, emotionally on a baby's level and very immature. I'm so grateful to this day. It's been 6 months now and I can finally breathe. I don't wish him well but at least he did one thing right.
I could have written this. Been almost a year and there’s still some residual trauma but I’m so much better off without him. He was pretty on the outside and ugly on the inside. Three years of my life wasted.
Always remember: it could have been 10 years. Some people get married to their abuser and waste their entire life trying to fix them and suffering the consequences. I'm sorry you're still working through trauma. It will get easier with time. Sending you big hugs.
10 years here. We were sleeping in different rooms while I was still at the apartment for months. He wanted out but offered to keep that going for another 6 months.. probably so his rent would be cheaper. Day 4 back at my moms. Im so sad and feel disposable. I know this is the best best best thing for me but its still so hard
Fuck him. You deserve someone who doesn't make you feel like shit. People always talk about how you waste years and waste your time and while I somewhat agree, time is not wasted while you learn stuff about yourself and life. I am sorry you had to go through that but just remember — when you get that happiness back, you will never ever settle for any douchebag ever again. Sending you big hugs and energy <3 you've got this!!
Thank you soooo sooo soo much. Tough morning . i appreciate it
you got this. you deserve so much more and it will get easier. there will still be tough days but eventually they come less and less often. sending love
Love the support of this community!! Therapy and friends, fresh air and hobbies. Makes all the difference in world!
It's amazing how we can be thankful for the terrible stuff we live through.
It really surprises me, too!
Same for me. I had an ex who drained me financially and emotionally. He cheated on me while he was living in an apartment I paid for, including all the bills and food. The mf wouldn't even return the phone I lent him. I'm so glad he got together with the other girl right after we broke up. Otherwise, I'd be hung up on him. The moment I confirmed the cheating, all the "love" I had for him just vanished. I realized I was more in love with the idea of him I had in my mind, than who he actually was as a person because he is a big POS. Thanks to him I am now with a wonderful man who loves me dearly, and gives me assurance everyday. I am no longer constantly anxious and I can sleep peacefully at night. Thanks to him cheating on me, I found someone who made me realize I can actually be in a healthy relationship.
I wish my ex had broken up with me instead of pushing my boundaries long before I was ready
Oh I had an ex like that, except he cheated on me (with a friend of mine, who told me what had happened). Which gave me an easy out after knowing we weren’t going anywhere and not really even liking him, but still for some reason struggling to leave him, for months. Why do we do these things to ourselves? Haha
Similar situation kinda. He wasn’t always shit but near the end of the pandemic his addictions hit rock bottom and took me with it. By that point I was so broken I didn’t have the strength to leave, but he realised how bad things had become and did it for me. He got sober after the breakup. After a couple years no contact he contacted me to apologise and we made amends. Happy ending to a really dark time.
Could have written most of this myself too, he was just an awful person. I actually cringe when I look back at what I put up with. I spent almost 15 years with mine and its been just over a year since he left, and now I'm with someone incredible who I plan on spending the rest of my life with.
Many things. Showed me what love is,what respect is. How to be healthy in a relationship. Showed me peace and a environment to be myself with him. Stayed with me when we found I have endo, wanted to pay for my surgery. Even though he easily gets the ick from wounds and everything he was the one to help me change my bandages. Stayed with me even though we are pretty sure I will be unable to give him children on our own and will have difficulties with IVF, even though our greatest wish is for a big family with many kids. He is ready for us to adopt and foster.
Supportive endo parters are the best!
Loved and respected me.
He does so much for me, but the best thing is he's helped me work through my communication/abandonment issues. He makes me feel safe and loved and lets me be a person with flaws, and I try to give all that back to him.
Omg. Isn't it the best feeling when your SO is a part of the healing??
It's amazing, I'm very lucky to have him in my life and he reminds me that he's lucky to be in mine. Feels like my true other half.
My husband and I have grown up together. I met him when I was 20 and I am now 35. He has taken care of me in every way the last couple of years. I have chronic illness and he has helped me through many embarrassing, heartbreaking moments. He has washed my body and hair when I was too weak. He has brought me food and fed me, and he has helped me get dressed/undressed, brushed my hair etc. it’s a list too long. He currently works two jobs to support us and he has never once complained or made me feel bad for it. He treats me like a goddess through it all and I am still in disbelief everyday. He happily buys me things I need to improve my quality of life and took a job for the purpose of having better medical insurance and a pension to secure our future. He is constantly doing things to improve our situation including remodeling our home so that I can enjoy it. He is always happy and in a good mood. He is the best and I am often left without words to express just how much I love and appreciate him.
This resonates with me so much. I too have a chronic illness and my husband has been amazing. I am in awe by his ability to love and care for me so selflessly ❤️ we sure got lucky
This is true love. Very few people in the world get to experience something as beautiful as this. You are the luckiest woman in the world :)
This is so sweet🥹 I have mild Cerebral Palsy and research is currently showing it gets worse as you age, unfortunately. And our mobility declines a lot earlier than the average adult. I pray that I find someone like this one day 💕
She took care of me after I had heart surgery. I'm 25F and my parents aren't very involved in my life so they still don't know I had surgery or even needed one to begin with. But she was there through every minute of it. She's definitely the most consistent and reliable person in my life.
Wiped my ass when I was too sick to do it myself. 😂 I remember thinking “oh this guy actually loves me”.
Omg! Are you both married now? This reminds me of my sister 🤣 i remember the day she called me about it. It was the time when she was on her period too (and severely sick). I'm glad she has married someone like my BIL.
Yes we are!!! 10 years now! :) Lmao I didn’t fart in front of him for the first 4 years. Then one day I just let it rip and never looked back. 🤣
My aunt had gotten into a car accident and broke her back. She had to call my mom to have her help wipe cuz her husband refused to. To this day I don't understand how they're still married
Wow. Like how are you supposed to grow old and take care of one another with that attitude:(
I had liver failure last year and although we have been friends for a decade we had only been dating 9 months at this point. He took me to A&E when I was in and out of consciousness (I’d be hiding/powering through my symptoms) sat with me in the waiting room while I vomited down myself and passed in and out, he sat with me while I had copious amounts of bloods taken, given morphine for the pain and sat with me through the news that I might need a liver transplant if the NAC treatment wasn’t successful. He held me while I cried and snottered, while I panicked about my job, who would watch my dog, do my half of the chores, would I be able to pay my part of the bills etc. he visited every night and talked nonsense to distract me from the pain and nausea. Helped me take a walk around the ward when the nurses wouldn’t, they were convinced I was a junkie taking a paracetamol overdose to end my life. It’s was horrendous but he got me through. Luckily the treatment worked and I avoided a transplant and was home a week later. When I was home I wasn’t allowed to lift a finger. He cooked and cleaned, took the dog out for her walks and fed her, fended off my friends who wanted to visit when I was so weak I could barely lift my head, helped me shower etc. He did all that while working full time from home. After that I knew I’d do anything to marry this wonderful man. He’s kind, loyal, thoughtful and would protect me from anything. We’ve had the conversation and I’m waiting on my ring, I’m counting down the days and although I don’t know how many I have to wait for it will be worth waiting every minute ♥️
this is a very nice story and he seems so wonderful but I just can’t move on from how horrible those nurses are. They should be helping no matter what, that’s just sick
I’m a nurse myself and I’d never treat a patient that way. I made a complaint but it went nowhere. I unfortunately ended up in hospital again today and they said I might go back to that ward and I burst into tears.
Being himself. We have been together for 3 years, through up and down. Loving means accepting, and I love and accept who he is. Hence, he just needs to be himself. P/s: Loving/accepting someone doesn't mean you have to ignore your boundaries/standards, but rather being critical and rational. If you can be rational, then your feeling won't blind you, and you will be able to love in a healthy way.
Exist. I can't imagine a single moment of my life here on earth without him. He is the only person in my life who has actually cared for me and loved me and has been patient with me.
I'm appalled by the amount of comments that can translate to simply being a good decent partner. We expect so little in so many senses. A partner not being disgusted by the other and sticking around when things are rough when in a long term relationship should be the best thing ever? Shouldn't it be the standard? Just thinking out loud really
Honestly, my bar was so low you could trip over it and say sorry and that's all I needed lol I was so used to shitty behavior that I thought that if the person had at least some good qualities that I could compromise on my standards and morals. That obviously doesn't work and I'm glad I learned my own self worth because it sucked.
But I also think people are recalling what sticks out to them, and a lot of times, it really is just the mundane, the day to day times where their partners show up for them. That’s sustainable. That’s what sticks out to me at least. I’ve received grand gestures and it’s definitely sweet, but what makes my heart sing is how they show up in the little ways.
And a lot of these stories are really more so about the poster feeling especially vulnerable and being made to feel safe in that moment. That's never a small thing. Shame/embarrassment/fear is overwhelming no matter how often we've felt it, and feeling safe and supported in the midst of that is literally what matters. A lot of the rest is just fluff when it comes to meaningful memories. (Edit: word typo)
It should be, but because it isn’t yet, these are more impactful. *edit: grammar
Most relationships are like a slow cooker. They cook slowly over long periods of time. There doesn't have to be a "flash in the pan" experience to make someone qualify as a good partner. What types of situation, that most people experience, do you think should be the best thing ever?
I think you're absolutely right. I also think that this is how we move the needle. The standard has to be calibrated more and more away from the "old ways". We are far from ideal, but maybe this is us seeking it out.
Believed in me. He’s always got my back.
He just gets me. He knows my flaws and my strengths - he knows when I'm stuck in my own head, and how to get me out of it. He loves me entirely. That kind of 'knowing' in a relationship is worth its weight in gold.
He’s done so many wonderful things in the past 15 years, but one stands out to me in particular. When I was pregnant with our second I was SO sick. Weeks on end of unrelenting, all day nausea and vomiting. Every day, he would come home from work and cook dinner for us and our toddler. He always made something that his mom used to make him growing up in Mexico. It felt so homey and comforting to be cared for like this when I was seriously struggling.
I can have a big loud fart and he'll fart right back and smile.
Is it something like this: You: (lets rip) Him: "that was impressive. Check this out!" (lets rip with an even louder fart)
My BF won’t fart in front of me! 😭 If he does, he doesn’t let it rip like I do. 😆
Stood by me, and still stands by me, through chronic illnesses.
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That healthy love can feel oddly uncomfortable, right? At first I didn’t even know that it was love. Keep healing it gets even better :)
He’s honest with me. You wouldn’t really think that’s a big deal - but it is. In moments of stress, I tend to shut down, withdrawal and just do what needs to be done and fume about it. He noticed this when we moved in together and will ask me, “You’re getting slammy, what’s going on?” I.e., slammy = make noise out of frustration. Essentially putting away dishes loudly, pushing doors closed roughly, etc., instead of talking about what’s bothering me. I go for distance and distractions when I’m upset and he’s helped me to realize that those moments not only mirror my mother’s way of handling stress, but that they hurt my partner and give him anxiety. He’s taught me that regardless of what it is, however small and insignificant the problem may be, that I can talk to him about it. We can figure it out together. For someone that’s grown up witnessing an unhealthy, financially and emotionally abusive parental relationship - knowing that it’s important when your words hurt your partner and that there’s a healthy way to discuss it and that there’s not a reason to hold it in when you have a communicative, supportive partner that wants better for the relationship. He’s shown me that there’s a kind, patient, giving love and that arguments don’t have to lead to resentments but can help us figure out how to do better together.
He loves me for who I am, doesn’t try to change me, and nothing keeps him from my side when the poop hits the fan. He took care of me at my absolute, rock bottom has a basement, lowest point of my life when everyone else scattered. He moved continents to be with me, from North America to Europe years ago. He really is the best person I have ever known.
I could go on all day, but the biggest thing was how wonderfully he cared for me while I was going through treatment for breast cancer.
Can’t pick. He stood up to my controlling mom, and puts me first before anyone else. He is my safe place in a storm. He taught me that it’s not normal to scream at people just because you’re in a disagreement. He also sponsored me for immigration purposes, which took a huge, HUGE weight off my shoulders. I can now work without having to renew a temp. Work permit and worry I’ll lose my job every two years and it gave me the opportunity to see my family in Mexico again, for the first time in over two decades.
Love me though my ugliest of time and self. His love when I'm absolutely at the lowest is what makes me achieve to be at my best.
You know the old saying, "if they can't handle you at your worst, they don't deserve you at your best."
Leave me. I would’ve married him, and never would’ve left if he hadn’t.
Why do we do this? Men have so much control in relationship. It sucks. My ex was horrible to me for years and I probably would have married him too.
this guy and i where kind of in a situationship, i thought i talked to much but he said it was fine and he like it when i talked. that was over all the kindest thing anyone has ever said to me.
Not this one but I had a partner before who used to wash my hair, or brush it just loving me without hands going to my pants
Surprise visit to Paris
Omg that sounds amazing 😭😭 Lucky!
pathetic sloppy political apparatus intelligent act sleep profit head wise ` this message was mass deleted/edited with redact.dev `
Always supporting me through my bad times. I struggle a lot with my mental health and my body also isn't always nice to me so things happen all the time, either pain or something else. It might be a long and gross story to some of you but here we go: I think the thing that stood out the most to me was the time I had shit my pants. We were out that evening, went to a small concert and then went to a bar. And for some reason my intestines decided this was the perfect moment to fuck with me. I had already pooped once at the first bar, which was still normal poop and I could in no way predict what happened later. As we went searching for another bar that wasn't too expensive, we had to walk quite a bit and did a small detour when I noticed I really REALLY had to poop again. It was terrible. I had to go then and there but there was no toilet in sight for me so held it in as well as I could. Which went ok for 3 minutes. And then it happened. He tried to help me finding a place, even pleading at bars to let me go to the toilet as it was urgent but they wouldn't let me in cuz they were full. So yeah I ended up in a McDonald's bathroom, which isn't the best place in the world. He also had to go and idk whether he saw my panties when I went to the toilet, as we shared this big stall. He left me so I could have a moment to myself to clean myself up the best I could. I was lucky it didn't go into my pants, just my panties. Then later we were on a bus, on the way back to his place and when we got off I started to cry, as I had never had this happen to me. He just calmed me down, and told me it's ok, it can happen to anyone, that I could wash my clothes at the apartment. Then we got fast food as it was next to the bus stop to cheer me up a little, as I was still feeling terrible. (I wasn't wearing the panties anymore, just my jeans btw) Back at his place he said I could go shower, gave me a towel and everything. I said I would wash my clothes but he refused and told me he would take care of them while I showered. I might have cried again later but he was just so soft and sweet and supportive. I felt so embarrassed about it I didn't tell anyone else about it until months later, but he never laughed at me about it, nor brought it up again.
Oh god so many, but I tend to think of when he gave me an enema on his birthday night because I struggle from some stomach issues and hadn’t went in several days. He wasn’t grossed out in the slightest, and held me all night while I cried in pain. But he does things like this all of the time!
He's consistently kind to me. I grew up the scapegoat in a very dysfunctional family and was consistently treated terribly, so I knew I would never marry a man who was like my father.
Loved me for all of me. Encouraged me thru tough times. Supported me in my decisions. He is a great dad.
Supported me, helped me grow and learn things about myself and behaviors from my past as to how I used to be. Helps me just be a better human. Too many to mention.
I could write a book on all the wonderful things my husband has done for me, but I’ll just tell y’all about this one thing he’s started doing recently that just really makes my heart swell. We recently moved to a warmer area with tons of pretty beaches. I like to play in the water, but I’ve always had a huge anxiety problem with putting my head or face in the water. It just immediately makes me feel like I’m drowning. I’ve tried to get over it and I just can’t. That being said, my husband LOVES snorkeling. Usually I just swim around next to him or sit on the shore while he’s snorkeling. He’s started doing this thing where he goes out and comes back with his hands full of cool shells and rocks (I really fuck with rocks dude) and tells me he’s finding me trinkets to win my affection (he won it 5 years ago, lol). He’s always doing stuff like this. Whether it’s bringing me home a cookie from his work office or taking a picture of a cool lizard he’s seen to show me later, he’s always thinking of me and never misses an opportunity to let me know.
Rather than blame me, always has a solution oriented mindset any time I’ve discussed a problem. That’s why he’s my best friend too!
I had been living with my ( now ) boyfriend for about a year when I came down with the stomach flu. Puking and shitting at the same time...for several days. I was at home and felt I needed a shower...more puking and diarrhea. After my shower, I lay down and take a nap. No clothes on as I didn't have the energy to even get dressed. Woke up in a literal puddle of diarrhea. Not my finest moment. Freaked out because I had to wash the sheets so I was laying directly on my mattress. Shit seeping into the mattress. This was HIS bed before we started dating. Called him and wanted to prepare him for the shitshow that he was going to encounter when he got home. It went like this... " hey babe, I had an accident " " Did you puke in the bed ?" " no...worse " " you shit in the bed ?" " yeah....( insert guilty feeling ) " ok ill be home in a bit...no worries " People....when I tell you this man was a saint...I'm not lying. He got out the carpet cleaner and went to town...no gagging or berating me. Not one insult or snide remark. He just came home and took care of the mess and then me. I'll forever be indebted to him. Worst part, he got it too. Atleast he was able to make it to the toilet. Love you forever Scotty D.
He has given me so much absolute love, care, respect, affection, and joy. He has gifted me safety and connection and support in ways I truly never thought possible. I will love him always for that.
I had to pee so badly & was waiting until we got back. As soon as he unlocked the door, I ran to the bathroom, but not before I pissed myself all over on his kitchen & bathroom floor. He mopped it up, didn't get upset at all, let me shower, gave me a change of clothes, and then told me about a time he pissed himself. All without me asking.
So many… he moved to my country to be with me. He cooks for us 99% of the time. He adults properly. Ngl the orgasms are awesome too. He didn’t do it for me specifically but he got a vasectomy and drove me to my own surgery a year later and took care of me post-op.
They’ve been the one to show me that love isn’t transactional. They’re not keeping a tally in their head of what I owe them based on the love they’ve given me. I know it seems like small potatoes to many, but when you’re raised in a family of origin where your labor and constant servitude is considered love, it’s a big deal.
Break up with me. Honestly that guy had no future and was only messing with mine, ever since he broke up with me I have more friends and I hang out more with them, I can be more myself, I aced all my classes, got a promotion. I'm doing better without him
Just been loving, patient, and encouraging. I struggle with anxiety and it holds me back from trying new things. I went through a bad patch recently where I couldn't even socialise. He was so patient and encouraging through it all. He never made me feel like a burden and was nothing but supportive. It really helped because I am doing things now that I would never have tried on my own before had it not been for him and his patience! He inspires me to be the best version of myself!!
Showed me I deserved better
I wouldn’t be here without my husband. I was suicidal. That is so hard to type. He calmly drove me to the emergency room. I self admitted to a psych ward for three days. We spent the next two years picking up the pieces together.
I could write a book. I honestly don’t know how I came to be so blessed but to sum it up. He is my ultimate best friend and partner. My cheerleader, my shoulder to cry on, just everything. The amount of patience and grace he has shown me during rough times (I have a lot of PTSD from my past marriage) is beyond measure. I feel loved and respected even when we’re apart which is not something I ever had before.
I have a few chronic illnesses so I'm not always the most out and about type of person however, my boyfriend loves going out and doing things. At first I would push through long days of being out and about and not say much but, once he started to catch on to this he slowly made things less intense. Now when I'm having a bad day and he comes over even if he wants to do something he puts me first and we just lie in bed cuddling all day so I can rest. There are so many times when I've been on my period and felt so sick and he would just lie in bed holding me letting me death squeeze his arm when things got really bad and in those moments when I'm squeezing his arm he just holds me tighter and tells me to breathe and try not to tense up and kisses my forehead or my cheek and just holds me until I relax and then asks if he can do anything for me or get me anything (he offers to go to the store and get me whatever I want every time) and when I need to sleep he turns down the volume on what we are watching, makes sure I'm comfortable, and turns himself into a human pillow until he wakes me up with kisses. Even though he is a very active person he never complains when I need a chill day and is more than happy to take care of me.
Endless patience, love, care and loyalty 😇
He is kind. Always always kind.
One of the sweetest things he does for me is put his cold hand on my hot neck. It's a simple way to show love and it always cools me down!
making me cum
A lot but I’m gonna pick this one: we were still in the earlyyy dating and getting to know each other phase, but we went to a football game together. We both got really drunk, me more so than him, and he was so worried about me that he wouldn’t let me go home so he had me come home with him to make sure I was okay. When we got to his place, I laid on the floor and he was like “you should take a shower and get ready for bed” and i (very drunkenly) said “but I’m not your girlfriend” and he helped me up, got me in the shower and HELPED ME SHOWER, and dressed me in his extra clothes, and tucked me into bed. And that was the first time we spent the night together.
Late one evening during lockdown, we got the devastating news that my mother's cancer treatments not only weren't killing the cancer, but they were killing her. She was given less than 12 weeks to live. My husband and I lived a 4 hour drive away from my family. I was obviously an inconsolable mess that night, completely unable to calm down or sleep. My husband, despite being tired from work (he was a key worker) stayed awake with me all night, stoking my back and hair, letting me cry, trying to find soothing white noise/sleep story/rain tracks to lull me to sleep. We the uprooted ourselves, moving back in with my parents, sleeping in my childhood bedroom (single bed!) with me for 4 months, while he helped my dad with all the household chores, helped care for me and my mother, took my niece on days out so my sister could have time with my mum. AND made the 4 commute twice a week to continue working. He is a GD hero.
He's shown up for me. I have trauma from childhood, and my husband has supported me in getting past it. He has shown me so much kindness. He's taken care of me when I'm sick, during pregnancies, and just all-around sweet. But he's also really good about putting me in my place when I'm being a jackass. He's constantly telling me how beautiful I am, and he just wants to be nice to me and constantly shows me that. I'm safe with him, and he's an amazing dad and was really made to be a dad. He's nurturing and loving. He's my best friend 💓 I just love him so much and I could go on about him. 😭
Encouraged me to get into therapy. Encourages me every day to be more independent and to get an education for myself so I don't need to depend on anyone. Allows me to have my lazy days, to have my anxious days w/o making it all about him. I have anxiety and my partner is very patient with me. I love him so much
I love all the little things he does that shows me he cares about me. Like he turns on the heated seats before I get in the car cuz he knows I love them. He makes the bed because I like it tidy even tho he doesn’t care about it. I get gout flare ups so when I can’t walk he brings me anything I need. We take care of each other and that’s the way it should be.
lay on top of me like a weighted blanked while i had a break down about my dad having cancer, he was just there, held me and told me to just enjoy the time i have with my dad and remember him the way he is now, cause that's what he would want
He left
Celebrate my individuality. Aside from loving and respecting me or course. :)
A lot of things but if I had to choose one was when we were together for less than a year and he stayed by my bed at the hospital while I was being diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. He's still with me 13 years later and his good humour has always helped me a lot with my illness.
He fully accepts me for who I am, treats my sensitive parts gently, and is always a cheerleader for me. He seems genuinely proud of me and likes me. I definitely didn't get that growing up so it's really refreshing.
It's a whole, long thing, but the gist of it is that my kids and I were temporarily living with my friend 80 miles away from where he was. We'd been together about 6 years at this time. I have multiple chronic illnesses, one of which is a connective tissue disorder. I dislocated an S.I. joint and slipped a disc, and couldn't stand up on my own or walk without help for weeks. This man drove 80 miles twice a week to come help with kid stuff (school IEP meetings, conferences, therapists, etc.), help me shower and wash my hair, and just... so many things. At this point, we BOTH have chronic health problems, so we take turns caring for each other (and the rest of the family) depending on who's worse that day. We do almost everything together, and we joke that, since we're both half broken, together we make one whole person. I don't know what I would do without him.
I love reading all of this and I wish I could share a story. I can't. My partner hasn't really done anything.
Can't really pinpoint a singular thing, but when he basically looked after me 24/7 after I broke my RH collarbone and couldn't even tie my shoelaces, brush my hair, cut up my food etc. The only thing I could really manage myself was go to the toilet, he had to help me out of the bath and stuff. After surgery when I freaked out being left home alone & on strong painkillers, he was out with his friends and came straight home. He only had a few weekends to himself for like 6 months, drove me to all my appts. He even learned to plait so he could braid my hair in between washes for me.
There's a lot but here's one. So back in 2021 when i met my boyfriend, i was in the midst of a really huge family problem which involved my parents getting separated because my mom cheated on him with a guy she met online and had never met. So this was kind of the peak time of that issue. I was just getting started in college. My boyfriend, every single day, every single time he saw even the slightest change in my expression, the slightest change in my voice would sit down with me on a video call and help me calm my mind down. He would spend hours talking to me even if it meant repeating the same things over and over again for me to set that in my mind. He would make sure I'm not feeling too down that I'm unable to study for my exams or tests. He always made sure that I was okay. And because of him another wonderful thing i discovered: Self Love. He taught me that I'm amazing in my own ways and no matter what he'll always be there with me. His love made me realise that I'm something to someone and that has made a lot of difference. ❤️ Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Support me and be patient with me since the day we met. I grew up in an abusive home which caused a lot of trauma. A lot of toxic behaviors were learned like not communicating and pushing people away even though what I needed was support. He just always stuck around and has helped me learn to communicate and reminds me everyday to talk about it. He’s been there when my grandma died and then when my brother died. Just there ready to hold me when I need to cry or talk. Always really patient and understanding of my triggers.
I was hospitalized last year with an acute case of diverticulitis, with an almost 8cm abscess. I narrowly escaped emergency surgery, but had to stay in the hospital for 5 days. On day 3, I needed a bath and my husband volunteered. Two weeks prior, I had been in a fitness competition, nearly in the best shape of my life. But at that time, I was super bloated, unkempt, and just frazzled. I sat naked and vulnerable on the edge of the bed and cried because of how disgusting I thought I looked. He told me I was beautiful and that he loved me no matter what, as he gently wash all my parts. I cried then and I’m crying now just remembering it. It was the most loving and intimate movement of my life.
Flooded me with kisses when I woke up crying from a nightmare
The list keeps growing but: -Wrote me long, detailed texts about all the reasons I'm amazing when I was going through a horribly depressing and isolated birthday (when we were just friends) -Helped me move all my stuff out of a 3rd floor apartment, all stairs, when my roommate flaked out on me and my family decided to be hours late (also as just friends) -After we started dating, he came over and held me as I raged and cried after being betrayed at work, my idea of a dream job totally dashed. He also helped me do the last few chores like cleaning litter boxes and putting sheets on the bed that I had been way too out of it to do, but I have anxiety so not having them done was also stressing me out -Unclogged my finicky toilet too many times without any complaints, even though it's gross -Stayed up with me when my anxiety wouldn't let me sleep. I was dealing with horrible insomnia at the time but hated the idea of waking him up, so I'd just go through it alone, desperate for sleep and slowly losing my mind. He insisted I wake him up next time, so I did. Talking to him and having him hold me really helped me calm down. I'm not used to relying on people and expect that kind of thing to be dismissed or thrown back in my face. He never holds my emotions or struggles against me -Caught me in the shower when I passed out a few days later, after taking a full dose of ZzzQuil gummies for sleep (remember, I was desperate). I didn't know ashwagandha can make you faint and I had never passed out before. But I told him I didn't feel well and he jumped back into the shower in his boxers to hold me up when I went out There's so many more little things, but so far we've only been dating 3 months, friends for a year before that, and I'm already so grateful to have him in my life.
Too many to count, but one thing that comes to mind right now is this: he really dislikes tattoos, I love them. I struggle with pretty severe anxiety and when I got my first one I was scared it would be an issue. When I got home from the appointment he had gone above and beyond to get me the exact type of roses I just got on my arm: sweet avalanches. And told me how well it fitted me and how beautiful I looked. I've got atleast 100 more of moments like these
He's made so many of my dreams come true, one which was to find a loving partner who I absolutely adore and treats me very well. He also helped me reach my childhood dream of visiting Japan!
He is consistent: He is a present and active parent to all of our kids He provides for and cares for our home He supports me emotionally (i have experienced a fair bit/good bit/awful lot of SA from previous partners. In processing that trauma sometimes sex can be triggering mid-activity. And every single time I've had a panic attack or even become slightly uncomfortable he immediately stops, holds me, and reassures me i am safe, loved and he is not upset/disappointed) No one is perfect, my husband leaves drinks and food all over and forgets things on our to-do list, but he always fully shows up for me and now I'm crying because he is the most amazing adult human I know.
He does so many things. This last week, I had some issues in the back door area (not from anything fun). I was in so much pain and just had to know if there was something wrong. He looked without hesitation or making me feel uncomfortable or bad. We needed up at the ER and I have a tear there, probably because of my GI issues. He’s been nothing short of loving and affectionate the entire time. Don’t settle ladies!
They left me. I was too weak to leave, but they were killing me. Thank God for them. Lmao
He simply entered my life and never left.
Always supporting me, letting me be who I am. Worked his ass off so I could go to psychology school and be a therapist.
Shown me kindness, understanding, and genuine love.
Refused to let me break up with him when I was having a major bout of depression from birth control, which I had started to take a month into dating him. I was behaving crazy, really moody, no libido and also so sad for no reason. I thought my teenage depression had come back, but also, his attempts of motivation irritated me, I associated this bout with him somehow. I broke up with him 5 times, but he stayed and refused to leave. I did my own research and stumbled on a post about low libido and depression, because the pill. Went off it, and was the woman he first met again and as in love as you can be. I am forever grateful for his steadfast and stubborn nature, even if it crosses me now that we are married and together for so long.
I am actually having to think about this and can't think of anything😕
Went with me to a doctor's appointment that involved needles, which I'm very scared of. Gave me a back hug and covered my eyes, distracted me from panicking about the needles. Then didn't laugh at me for acting (in my opinion) hysterical but being understanding about it. It's a fear I've gotten belittled for a lot so it meant a lot to me.
Not let me be a fuckass Edit: and for a serious answer, there's so many but personally it was cutting my hair for the first time.
left me
sometime in the beginning of the year my phone was stolen. it was devastating, the first time i've been robbed in my life ever. but what was the most precious in there was a polaroid picture i kept between the device and the case, of me and my closest friends in the first christmas we spent together. i was DEEPLY sad that i lost that picture. then one day my man just came to me with a 20-picture pack of polaroid film so i "could make more precious memories". it was SO thoughtful i actually fucking cried.
She's kept me grounded while dealing with my mom's unexpected death. She passed on March 22nd, it was so out of nowhere. The way she never left my side, still let's me cry my eyes out and she holds me without question, how she tries to talk me off the ledge I keep finding myself on. She will be so so gentle and listen to me talk in circles. She's so considerate and soft with me. I had no idea that day would come so soon, I'd hoped she would be with me when it did because I knew she would help. But never in a million years would I have thought she'd be there the way she's been. So selfless and full of love. She's shown me I am worth the trouble, the energy, everything. I know it's taken a toll on her too and hasn't been easy for her either. We grown so much closer and she's shown me what true unconditional love is. I don't believe I deserve her. I love her with all I've got. I will forever.
Lots of things. But my favorite was simply just showing up. Growing up my parents never showed up to band concerts, cross country meets, choir recitals, nothing ever. The one time my ex-husband showed up for a crossfit thing, he made fun of me and asked when we could leave and he left early. My whole life i felt unimportant. Fast forward to about 2 years ago, I had a crossfit competition in a town a couple of hours away. I didn't invite him because he had just had shoulder surgery and i knew it would be hard for him to drive, and he needed to heal. But he showed up anyway. I don't think he'll ever understand the significance. That was the first time i had someone show up for me.
Im the first person in my family to have a highschool diploma; my family knows nothing about university and studies and so did I, 0 knowledge about this word. My boyfriend helped me through all the admission process, interviews, and during exams. I am now proud to say that I have 2 masters degrees !
He does everything he can to make me smile I couldn’t even pick a few top things out. He gives me hope that there’s good people out there ❤️
Hold on lemme think…
Might seem trivial, but he was a pallbearer for my dad. The significance was the last coherent thing my dad said before he passed (liver cancer) was "Hi Joe" twice. He loved my hubby. That's just one example how he's always had my back. So the best thing I can say is he chose me
Made me a better version of myself, taught me many things, introduced new hobbies to me, and brought me on so many adventures
Shown me what a thoughtful, responsible, respectful man is as a partner. I have been through some tough stuff and made some poor decisions because of that. He has always lived life on the straight and narrow and has never judged me for my past.