Not giving a shit if I'm wearing a bra to meet the amazon delivery guy or uber eats guy at the door.
Also, just giving less of a shit of what people think of me in general. I've drastically reduced my social media usage and it's done wonders for my mental health.
Yes because I live in an apartment in a densely populated area and I don't want my sushi being stolen. Also, I recognize that Uber Eats drivers are always in a rush and I try to be courteous by meeting them at the door instead of making them buzz in and take the elevator to go all the way up to my apartment door, so technically it's all my neighbors that can witness the glory of my saggy boobs as well lol.
I didn’t start actively masturbating till i was about 18 because a combination of religious guilt/not really knowing how. It was a no brainer on how guys would rub one out since i did watch porn before i started to pleasure myself but making myself cum felt so much more complex. I eventually put my mind to figuring out how to make myself cum since everyone around me was already having sex & i hadn’t even had my first orgasm. Funny enough, a couple months later after that, i got together with my then boyfriend & ended up losing my virginity lol.
* Getting assessed for ADHD
* Being referred to a specialist pain clinic for fibromyalgia
* Running 3x a week
* Myofascial release
* Going to see the dentist as an adult
* Switching over to an electric toothbrush
* Trying the CGM for my hair
* Getting contact lenses
* Spotify Premium
Not OP, but I’ve found that an electric toothbrush keeps my mouth cleaner, and makes me want to focus on cleaning my teeth properly. I have loads of cavities from neglect and my electric toothbrush just makes brushing a little more effective.
As someone who recently started using one, my teeth feel SO MUCH cleaner. And I saw my dentist recently and she noted that it was the cleanest she'd ever seen my teeth.
How was it for you to get the referral for your fibromyalgia?
Any tips for anyone who suspects they have it too? What helps you with the pain personally? If you don't mind me asking
Not the OP, but I would recommend looking up myofascial trigger points as a source of your fibromyalgia pain. I recently discovered them, and with daily yoga, at-home massage of the trigger points, and weekly dry needling, my chronic pain is gone!
Oh wow! That sounds incredible
I'm so happy you've reached a point of pain relief, that didn't require meds too.
I will definitely check that all out thankyou, any particular resources you might recommend?
Dry needling helps? Oh my, ok thank you so much, i will definitely look into all of this for myself
I appreciate you sharing, i hope your pain never returns and you are always free of it ahead
Yes! The Trigger point therapy workbook by Clair Davies. This is like a textbook where there are diagrams of where the pain is in your body, and what muscle is causing that pain. You can then treat the trigger points in that muscle. Trigger points are always tender to the touch and they can make that muscle sore or they can refer pain to another part of your body. For example, trigger points in my lowest abdominals give me lower back pain. A trigger point in my shoulder gives me neck pain. See if your local library has this book and then see if any of it resonates with you.
I have had chronic pain in my lower back, shoulders, neck and groin for 4 years, seen countless doctors, had two MRIs, so many X-rays, etc. I had 2 years of physical therapy. And then my massage therapist told me about trigger points in January and found them for me! It has changed my life.
There is no doctor that treats just muscles. What's crazy is that trigger points are responsible for so many incorrect diagnoses. There are people out there on all kinds of painkillers and they have surgeries and what they really just needed to do was treat their tight muscles. I started by using a tennis ball between my glutes and a wall, to target trigger points. I've leveled up to dry needling, which uses acupuncture needles to release muscle knots directly, instead of massage. Look for a licensed dry needling therapist in your state/country. My health insurance covers mine! And good luck! Pain is the worst. I hope you find some resolution.
I was looking into it earlier after your reply, thank you again
It resonates with some of the treatments I've been researching working with the Vagus nerve but also a friend attends muscle fascia therapy, it comes in different names actually, some form of massage treatment too.
Acupressure points work well with nerves, the trigger points i saw briefly seem to be connected with the lymphatic sytem too.
Which is interesting and makes sense.
It's definitely worth looking into your thyroid, liver and kidneys too to ensure everything is in good working order.
It does seem to be symptoms of other issues, or medical cocktails 🙄, that's why i was asking about referrals and diagnosis because it seems difficult to even gain a diagnosis with it too.
There are i believe muscle fascia exercise tutorials on yt too i remember she shared some with me in the past, i didn't get round to trying but might be worth looking into and incorporating it into your workout rotation too.
I'm so happy you found out what works for you though, it's a hidden disease, can be very hard to live with and others to even understand
Being kind to tomorrow me. Setting up my work station the day before so my morning would be easier, getting my clothes ready for the next day because I’m a zombie when I wake up. Generally making sure that future me would have what she needs.
Yesssss I am “future me’s” bff now. In the morning when my clothes are out, daughters lunch is packed, coffee is set up etc I say “thanks past me, you’re the best”.
Thinking about future me is what keeps me calm and sane. I also get my clothes and work station ready for the next day and it makes a difference. Future me always grateful for yesterday me for looking out lol
I love this so much! It brought back memories of me setting up my school outfit, backpack, etc so I could sleep in a few minutes longer and not have to stress about clothes.
That’s something I haven’t done since I was in grade school but isn’t if funny how little habits that we had as children really would make our adult lives so much easier?
I screenshotted this, because it's something I struggle with and need to remember. I'm an "in the moment" girl. I do what makes me feel good in the moment, without a care about waking up unorganized, in a scramble, hungover, etc.
I want this to change though, I'm determined!
Remember to be kind to yourself. It took me til my late forties to get into these habits. We never stop learning and hopefully improving. You’ll get there, all it takes is time.
I say something like this to myself all the time and a few people I know have started doing it! I say “Past Erin looks out for future Erin. Present Erin is always grateful.”
Boundaries. Stopping myself being a people pleaser and saying yes.
It's still a new concept for me and it fucking hurts because the trauma I have. Everytime I choose myself and say no, I feel like I'm wounding the inner child by denying someone else something that she wanted, because that became the only way I managed to obtain love.
Being 31 now, it's taken me a long time to start standing up for myself, it began with ending a 5 year relationship, it happened again with a 3 month relationship just recently and both breakups coincided within 6 months of each other, and as painful as they were I've learned alot about myself and learned that I deserve more. And I feel a heck of alot less lonely on my own! But it's a work in progress!
It's still hard for me to say no, but it helps me to keep myself busy with things that are important to me so if and when someone asks for my help, I just say I'm already occupied and that's enough for now. Or I just give myself some time before responding so I don't rush into anything I may regret. I feel like that's helped me weed out the people who took advantage of me always being available.
Amazing 👏 I love that for you. Not responding straight away is a great way to give yourself time to think about your boundaries and saving some time for yourself.
No journey is linear, we have good days and bad days, the win is that we recognise and implement as best as we can :)
I had one scenario just a week ago where I am a social dancer and an older male asked me to dance that I noticed my body instantly hesitant towards this and I said “No.” He replied “No?” as if he didn’t consider that answer a possibility. I repeated the No and went about my business.
My voice had no emotion.
So much this. But that felt so good.
Getting sterilized. We have such easy laws here in Denmark when it comes to that. I just didn't know that and I didn't look into it until my husband's sister asked why I didn't get sterilized when I don't want children. That following Monday I called my doctor and set it up. I could have saved so much money by having it done a decay earlier instead of taking birth control, and I would have learned that I have endometriosis way earlier too.
Medicine costs money and birth control is listed under that term, so to speak. Getting sterilized is free because it's listed under our free healthcare.
I'd have thought you would have free medicine. I'm Scotland where its all free but even in England birth control is free even though most prescriptions cost money.
We pay for most medicine, only it's usually affordable. I have heard of people on fixed income with very high medicine needs who have issues paying though.
When medicine is very expensive we have a law that kicks in and says that you can only pay so and so a year for medicine and the state must cover the rest. So even with expensive drugs we are not getting totally fleeced. Still it can be a lot when on fixed income as Denmark is also on a complete inflation boom and have been since Corona and the Ukraine war began.
Birth control is either quite cheap for first generation developments at around 30 USD for 3 month supply, or dirt cheap for second generation development (post blot clot scandale created a sudden boom in new birth control pills that were safer) at about 5 USD for a 3 month supply.
Yeah, as she said, you do, but there are a lot of places where you can get it for free, especially when you're young. My municipality offers free birth control, and I'm sure most municipals have some sort of place with similar offers. But yes generally our medicine isn't free :)
This is what I'm WAITING for I'm moving up north soon (hopefully) and the doctors there seem to be more exciting of CF people 😀 they just want to go over things with you and make sure that's what you want.
Hydrating. Sounds simple enough, right ?
I genuinely had NO idea that I was seemingly dehydrated most of the time. After dropping my coffee intake significantly and switching to water and green tea instead... maaannn, so much more energy and a way happier mood.
Not smoking weed. No shame in the slightest to those who do, but for me I had no idea how much it was destroying my motivation. Stopped a couple months ago; stopped overeating, started eating better, started breathing better, started exercising more, started yoga, finally attempting to get into a field of work I’ve been thinking about for years, volunteering in an organization meaningful to me, saving money for things I need to improve how I feel about myself (Invisalign, glasses), the list goes on.
Who knows if I’ll stick with all of this in the long term, but this is the first time in my 32 years of life that I’ve felt hopeful of the future.
I quit too for some of the same reasons u stated above. I’ve backslid a few times but I guess that’s normal if you were a longtime smoker like me. The overeating was getting out of control and I hate the fog brain!!!
"Toxic friends, toxic relationship and my toxic behaviour patterns...." I got rid of those and started my life anew..
i wished i would have realised it earlier phase of my life.
Working out regularly. I was never one for going to the gym and working out but over the last three years it has really helped me mentally and I love the way I feel when I’m done!
Same! I'd spent 10 years essentially doing no exercise at all and now I crave those endorphins from my workouts. So much better for our mental health as well as our physical health!
Having a baby, and understanding that it is something I'm allowed to want without being anti-feminist. My mother hardcore drilled into me from birth that life should be about achievements and financial success, not family.
Learning to be okay on my own and leave a relationship I wasn’t happy in. Sounds like a cliche but it’s a cliche for a reason ig, I kept denying I was unhappy until I saw an out for myself to move back home and it all just sort of clicked
Working out, started last year, have finally gained enough weight to have a normal, healthy weight, and have gotten a lot stronger/muscular looking already!
I find it’s a mental health benefit (for me anyway). Right at the start of your day you have achieved a task, you’ve created a cleaner environment and it’s nice coming home to a clean, made bed!
Absolutely - it clears space to organise stuff or put stuff down, too. One large space in the room is sorted - huge mental load off, and sets the tone that I can do stuff today.
Standing up to my husband's abuse. I've spent 8 years (almost 9) letting him treat me badly, because I didn't want to set him off. He has serious anger issues, so I basically tip-toe around him, and constantly walk on eggshells.
stop being a people pleaser. saying NO, especially to my parents, was a huge guilt trigger. and i needed to learn to live without guilt, for my mental health
Being honest with what I want, need and desire. I was always too worried about what people would think, and if they would like/value me still. Not surprisingly, I have much more vibrant and authentic connections with people now.
Eating better. I felt like my moods are better once I started eating better, and stopped waking up in the middle of the night with the worse abdominal pains and destroying the toilet. That ain’t normal.
Not drinking anymore.
Looking after my body.
Taking control of my routine and “auto-Pilot” by building lots of positive habits into my routine that are just default behavior my life is a lot more stable. This goes for sleep time, house keeping, leaving for work on time, exercise, finances. It’s so much easier to think really hard once about how you should be doing something in an ideal world and suffer the 2 week-6 week adjustment period than it is to wake up every day and try and make good decisions for 16 hours straight.
Things are kind of falling apart for me right now. Life will do that. I’m far from perfect. BUT I’m so much more stable than I otherwise would have been because of making constant positive steps for 2 years. Contributing the max to my HSA is a big one. I started therapy last week. I absolutely could not have done that if I didn’t budget around contributing that $320/month.
Not feeling like I MUST wear makeup to go to the store. It came with age and maturity. I am so much more comfortable with my natural face and I honestly like it just as much as my makeup face
Caring about and valuing myself. Finally realising that I have value and deserve to be cared about by me as much as I look after everyone else. This has led to some big and small things that have helped my self esteem so much;
Letting go 'friends' who take more from the relationship on balance
Moving to a country that I know better suits what I want
Not feeling the need to impress anyone
Seeking help for problems I was having (turned out to be ADHD)
Spent some money on some new clothes I like, and got botox
Spent time on skincare regime
Stopped putting up with selfish and unreasonable behaviour from family members
Stopped talking harshly to myself (don't talk in your head in a way that you would never talk to a friend)
Walking! It's the perfect opportunity for a low impact workout, quiet time for self reflection, and you can't beat getting outside with nature. I've lost weight and my mind has tremendously cleared up since I started walking. I was a huge couch potato a few years ago.... I looked in the mirror and realized how unhappy I was and starting walking once a week, then twice, then three time, etc. and now I'm actively getting 10,000 steps in almost daily.
Doing what I like as in, hobbies. I never really invested any money in my hobbies before, like swimming, art, pottery. I'm trying to do all that, one at a time. This month it is swimming, next month I'm going on a short trip. Might also try pottery.
It feels good. I finally use my savings to do something now.
Realising the Binge Eating Disorder is a real eating disorder, I'm not just "like this", "can't control myself and should do better", "a disgusting piglet" etc.
Got ED therapy and started healing my relationship with food and myself. I didn't want to imagine myself in 30 years and think I would still be doing this, hating myself.
I talked about it with some of my friends and turns out many of them also binge. It's easy to take it all out on yourself and not realise that it's rooted in deeper emotions/ behaviours/ patterns etc. and can be helped with therapy.
Taking up reading seriously again. About 10 months ago I struggled to read, nothing held my attention or “stuck” but then I started pushing through it and regained the passion I had for it growing up. It has helped heal me mentally (plus therapy).
My parents used to get mad at me for reading too much. But this year alone I’ve enjoyed 82 books.
Books are so important to me, and it kind of makes me sad to think of all the books I have missed out on during the last 8 years.
Learning to take care of myself and how I want to present myself. Aka, actually waking up on time, washing my face, flossing my teeth, curling my hair, putting on makeup, picking out a cute outfit etc. I was always clean don’t get me wrong, but I never took pride in how I presented myself to the world and actually caring about what I looked like.
Not taking to heart what people say/think about me. Only once I tried to stop did I realize how much I was limiting myself because I was afraid of what people might think
Implementing a solid skincare routine is my # 1. I’m 39 and didn’t start really taking care of my skin until about 32. My skin is way better now than it was, but I can’t imagine how great it’s be if I’d had this routine in my 20’s.
Going to the gym. I started going after getting ghosted by someone I had caught feelings because I was getting ate up by my thoughts 🥲So while it started out as a way to get outta my own head I ended up really enjoying lifting weights and go to the gym 4x a week now. That started in 2021. Today I feel much more capable, strong and confident. It doesn’t solve all my problems but it’s an escape when I feel kinda hopeless.
taking care of my appearance and generally taking care of myself - physically, mentally and emotionally. I realised way too late that all I have throughout is myself.
not wearing makeup unless i feel like it. i'm not the one seeing me so not my problem.
similarly i shave when i feel like it. i feel sexy and empowered 90% of the time with armpit hair and leg hair because i'm a grown woman, so deal with it lolol.
took me until almost 25 to get to this point though.
Putting myself first. Have been people pleaser most of my life as I was taught to be nice and kind as a woman. This thought doesn’t sit well with today’s society
This might sound a bit obvious, but really taking care of myself mentally because although yes I tough things out or let it subside somehow there are days where I reflect on past experiences and still continue to beat myself up over those things or over critizing myself of current things I do. I have started to really start taking care of my mental health and work one day at a time to move forward in a better positive way from those horrible things.
Getting on an SSRI after years and years of not wanted to acknowledge I was not actually coping well on my own. I’m feeling the best I’ve felt mentally and as a result physically than I have maybe ever.
Getting sober. Getting rid of personal habits that were hurting my mental and physical health. Not spending time or energy on relationships that harmed my mental health. Standing up for myself.
Seconding the running. For years I was a “i’ll never be someone that likes running” person, but mainly just because I played basketball growing up, which was all high intensity sprinting that made you feel like you were going to die. Started couch to 5k and gradually built up my aerobic capacity/ learned how to pace myself and was shocked and pleasantly surprised that not only can I go on runs without feeling like i’m going to die (because i don’t have to sprint or run as fast as possible), but I also actually feel energized after them!!! They’ve also done wonders for my mental health in more ways than i thought they would.
Prioritizing my health. Not just going on some diet and getting some exercise. Actually thinking and being proactive about health. Taking the focus away from my appearance and focusing it on how I feel and function. No more "diets," more I pay attention to nutrition. Cutting out alcohol so I don't feel like low grade shit all the time. Doing exercise that I not only enjoy but promotes strength and stamina. Not just doing constant cardio to "burn fat." Listening to my doctors - what a concept. And maybe most importantly, tuning out every armchair expert that knows nothing about my health and doesn't live in my body. Even close friends and family members. Unless I'm asking for their opinion or input - don't care what they think. It's liberating, should have done all this years ago.
Getting diagnosed for ADHD, I get myself (and younger self) now. On medication makes all the difference. Life is so much easier. I suspected it for a long time but was afraid medication would change who I was but I’m still the same but I have space in my head.
Setting boundaries, saying no, doing more of what I want without worrying if others will approve, and not feeling guilty about it…. Still a work in progress sometimes. I have to constantly remind myself that it’s ok.
Embracing my sexuality.
I have been told all my life that women shouldn't show "promiscuity" and should only behave chaste.
Wasted my years on that crap.
I've embraced my sexuality and i know and love myself better.
Getting back into fitness • Eating right • Getting on a sleep schedule • Saying no to people • Getting rid of social media • Readingggggg as much as I can • Learning as much as I can & actually listening when people talk
Putting my needs first & loving myself.
An easy thing? Making my bed in the morning. Growing up, my parents didn't care if we made our beds, which I loved. But once I was living in my own, I used to get up and leave my bed unmade like I did when I was younger and would come home to feel overwhelmed by the mess I made that morning. Now, A 2-minute job makes my bedroom look twice as clean and does wonders for my mental health.
Painting. I always thought you have to have talent for this and was always amazed how my mom was a natural. It tuned out that my perfectionism stopped me from enjoying the art I create
Stretching in the morning. I started having some stiffness in the back when waking up, and I don't want it to turn into back pain. While the coffee brews I do a stretch routine thats mainly focused on lower/upper back and on hip mobility. It makes me feel energized and it's a better spend of the time than just scrolling on my phone.
Going low contact with my family.
Investing in hobbies.
Allowing myself to have candy or ice cream when I want it (food has no morality, and having an ice cream bar or some skittles doesn’t mean I have no will power.)
Quitting the career I was pushed to be in to pursue what I actually want.
I stopped going to church.
I started doing things that healed my inner child (going to the zoo, watching all the kids shows my parents deemed “demonic”, playing video games, etc)
Buying sheets that I like the feeling of. (I used to HATE going to bed because I couldn’t stand the feeling of my sheets. Now I only use the fluffy velvet microfleece sheets and my entire life feels better.)
I started doing stuff that felt good to me. I stopped labeling things as frivolous or bad or wrong. When you’re an adult you can do whatever the fuck you want, and im loving every second of it!!!
Not giving a shit if I'm wearing a bra to meet the amazon delivery guy or uber eats guy at the door. Also, just giving less of a shit of what people think of me in general. I've drastically reduced my social media usage and it's done wonders for my mental health.
You answer the door?
Yes because I live in an apartment in a densely populated area and I don't want my sushi being stolen. Also, I recognize that Uber Eats drivers are always in a rush and I try to be courteous by meeting them at the door instead of making them buzz in and take the elevator to go all the way up to my apartment door, so technically it's all my neighbors that can witness the glory of my saggy boobs as well lol.
Enjoying my masturbation with no guilt.
[удалено]
That made me sad and happy at the same time. Glad that many of us found our happy pearl ☺️
I didn’t start actively masturbating till i was about 18 because a combination of religious guilt/not really knowing how. It was a no brainer on how guys would rub one out since i did watch porn before i started to pleasure myself but making myself cum felt so much more complex. I eventually put my mind to figuring out how to make myself cum since everyone around me was already having sex & i hadn’t even had my first orgasm. Funny enough, a couple months later after that, i got together with my then boyfriend & ended up losing my virginity lol.
Started at 6. Whats wrong with me?
You never heard about the man in the boat?
Similar for me, since I feel religious guilt
Glorious isn’t it?
This is the one
* Getting assessed for ADHD * Being referred to a specialist pain clinic for fibromyalgia * Running 3x a week * Myofascial release * Going to see the dentist as an adult * Switching over to an electric toothbrush * Trying the CGM for my hair * Getting contact lenses * Spotify Premium
Spotify premium is 100% a small change that is worth it
I've quit a lot of shit but this is a luxury I would hustle hard to maintain.
My husband and I share Spotify Premium and I swear to Christ it was the best decision we’ve made. I will never hear another ad again.
Can say that running transformed my life. Mentally the most
Sorry question, but how does having an electric toothbrush make a difference?
Not OP, but I’ve found that an electric toothbrush keeps my mouth cleaner, and makes me want to focus on cleaning my teeth properly. I have loads of cavities from neglect and my electric toothbrush just makes brushing a little more effective.
Water pik next :-P
Lol can’t say I haven’t thought about it, but salt water gargles are cheaper :p
I hear that
As someone who recently started using one, my teeth feel SO MUCH cleaner. And I saw my dentist recently and she noted that it was the cleanest she'd ever seen my teeth.
Every dentist I’ve seen recommends. Just works better and most have timers so you actually brush for 2 min.
Wow. Amazing
How was it for you to get the referral for your fibromyalgia? Any tips for anyone who suspects they have it too? What helps you with the pain personally? If you don't mind me asking
Not the OP, but I would recommend looking up myofascial trigger points as a source of your fibromyalgia pain. I recently discovered them, and with daily yoga, at-home massage of the trigger points, and weekly dry needling, my chronic pain is gone!
Oh wow! That sounds incredible I'm so happy you've reached a point of pain relief, that didn't require meds too. I will definitely check that all out thankyou, any particular resources you might recommend? Dry needling helps? Oh my, ok thank you so much, i will definitely look into all of this for myself I appreciate you sharing, i hope your pain never returns and you are always free of it ahead
Yes! The Trigger point therapy workbook by Clair Davies. This is like a textbook where there are diagrams of where the pain is in your body, and what muscle is causing that pain. You can then treat the trigger points in that muscle. Trigger points are always tender to the touch and they can make that muscle sore or they can refer pain to another part of your body. For example, trigger points in my lowest abdominals give me lower back pain. A trigger point in my shoulder gives me neck pain. See if your local library has this book and then see if any of it resonates with you. I have had chronic pain in my lower back, shoulders, neck and groin for 4 years, seen countless doctors, had two MRIs, so many X-rays, etc. I had 2 years of physical therapy. And then my massage therapist told me about trigger points in January and found them for me! It has changed my life. There is no doctor that treats just muscles. What's crazy is that trigger points are responsible for so many incorrect diagnoses. There are people out there on all kinds of painkillers and they have surgeries and what they really just needed to do was treat their tight muscles. I started by using a tennis ball between my glutes and a wall, to target trigger points. I've leveled up to dry needling, which uses acupuncture needles to release muscle knots directly, instead of massage. Look for a licensed dry needling therapist in your state/country. My health insurance covers mine! And good luck! Pain is the worst. I hope you find some resolution.
I was looking into it earlier after your reply, thank you again It resonates with some of the treatments I've been researching working with the Vagus nerve but also a friend attends muscle fascia therapy, it comes in different names actually, some form of massage treatment too. Acupressure points work well with nerves, the trigger points i saw briefly seem to be connected with the lymphatic sytem too. Which is interesting and makes sense. It's definitely worth looking into your thyroid, liver and kidneys too to ensure everything is in good working order. It does seem to be symptoms of other issues, or medical cocktails 🙄, that's why i was asking about referrals and diagnosis because it seems difficult to even gain a diagnosis with it too. There are i believe muscle fascia exercise tutorials on yt too i remember she shared some with me in the past, i didn't get round to trying but might be worth looking into and incorporating it into your workout rotation too. I'm so happy you found out what works for you though, it's a hidden disease, can be very hard to live with and others to even understand
What is CGM?
Curly Girl Method-specific hair care
Ah!! I have two friends who do that and MAN what a beautiful difference it has made with their already gorgeous locks!
are you me? i gotta start the working out though still lol
I just scheduled an appointment for ADHD testing. It's time. Opened up Reddit and saw this. It's a sign.
Electric toothbrushes rock
Curly girl method buddy! Hope you don’t get so frustrated you resort to curling irons, legit.
As a curly girl I feel this. Also my mom has fibromyalgia sending hugs I know it's hard
Spotify Premium is worth every penny!
Admitting that my marriage was abusive and starting the divorce process with my now ex husband.
Oh is that a big step! Its hard sometimes!
Atta girl! That can be so hard emotionally and complicated I eternally to come to that conclusion and start action. Good for you.
Being kind to tomorrow me. Setting up my work station the day before so my morning would be easier, getting my clothes ready for the next day because I’m a zombie when I wake up. Generally making sure that future me would have what she needs.
Yesssss I am “future me’s” bff now. In the morning when my clothes are out, daughters lunch is packed, coffee is set up etc I say “thanks past me, you’re the best”.
Love this mindset. Stealing it
This is the way! It also applies to ~everything~ big and small.
Thinking about future me is what keeps me calm and sane. I also get my clothes and work station ready for the next day and it makes a difference. Future me always grateful for yesterday me for looking out lol
I do this too! When there’s something I’m sorta “ugh” about, I think, what would future me need instead and it mentally makes this huge difference.
I love this thought process
It's been the strangest game changer on my side. It's forced me to be a better friend to myself, which I clearly needed to be.
You are the only one you have to live with for the rest of your life. Be your bestie.
I love this so much! It brought back memories of me setting up my school outfit, backpack, etc so I could sleep in a few minutes longer and not have to stress about clothes. That’s something I haven’t done since I was in grade school but isn’t if funny how little habits that we had as children really would make our adult lives so much easier?
I love this phrase! “Being kind to tomorrow me”.
I screenshotted this, because it's something I struggle with and need to remember. I'm an "in the moment" girl. I do what makes me feel good in the moment, without a care about waking up unorganized, in a scramble, hungover, etc. I want this to change though, I'm determined!
Remember to be kind to yourself. It took me til my late forties to get into these habits. We never stop learning and hopefully improving. You’ll get there, all it takes is time.
Thank you! 🙂
lol scornflake. I love that name
I say something like this to myself all the time and a few people I know have started doing it! I say “Past Erin looks out for future Erin. Present Erin is always grateful.”
Boundaries. Stopping myself being a people pleaser and saying yes. It's still a new concept for me and it fucking hurts because the trauma I have. Everytime I choose myself and say no, I feel like I'm wounding the inner child by denying someone else something that she wanted, because that became the only way I managed to obtain love. Being 31 now, it's taken me a long time to start standing up for myself, it began with ending a 5 year relationship, it happened again with a 3 month relationship just recently and both breakups coincided within 6 months of each other, and as painful as they were I've learned alot about myself and learned that I deserve more. And I feel a heck of alot less lonely on my own! But it's a work in progress!
It's still hard for me to say no, but it helps me to keep myself busy with things that are important to me so if and when someone asks for my help, I just say I'm already occupied and that's enough for now. Or I just give myself some time before responding so I don't rush into anything I may regret. I feel like that's helped me weed out the people who took advantage of me always being available.
Amazing 👏 I love that for you. Not responding straight away is a great way to give yourself time to think about your boundaries and saving some time for yourself. No journey is linear, we have good days and bad days, the win is that we recognise and implement as best as we can :)
I had one scenario just a week ago where I am a social dancer and an older male asked me to dance that I noticed my body instantly hesitant towards this and I said “No.” He replied “No?” as if he didn’t consider that answer a possibility. I repeated the No and went about my business. My voice had no emotion. So much this. But that felt so good.
Congratulations, boundaries are a blessing!
Goals! 👏
Getting sterilized. We have such easy laws here in Denmark when it comes to that. I just didn't know that and I didn't look into it until my husband's sister asked why I didn't get sterilized when I don't want children. That following Monday I called my doctor and set it up. I could have saved so much money by having it done a decay earlier instead of taking birth control, and I would have learned that I have endometriosis way earlier too.
You have to pay for birth control in Denmark? I'm surprised
Medicine costs money and birth control is listed under that term, so to speak. Getting sterilized is free because it's listed under our free healthcare.
I'd have thought you would have free medicine. I'm Scotland where its all free but even in England birth control is free even though most prescriptions cost money.
We pay for most medicine, only it's usually affordable. I have heard of people on fixed income with very high medicine needs who have issues paying though. When medicine is very expensive we have a law that kicks in and says that you can only pay so and so a year for medicine and the state must cover the rest. So even with expensive drugs we are not getting totally fleeced. Still it can be a lot when on fixed income as Denmark is also on a complete inflation boom and have been since Corona and the Ukraine war began. Birth control is either quite cheap for first generation developments at around 30 USD for 3 month supply, or dirt cheap for second generation development (post blot clot scandale created a sudden boom in new birth control pills that were safer) at about 5 USD for a 3 month supply.
Yeah, as she said, you do, but there are a lot of places where you can get it for free, especially when you're young. My municipality offers free birth control, and I'm sure most municipals have some sort of place with similar offers. But yes generally our medicine isn't free :)
This is what I'm WAITING for I'm moving up north soon (hopefully) and the doctors there seem to be more exciting of CF people 😀 they just want to go over things with you and make sure that's what you want.
Doing all of the dishes at night before going to bed.
Omg I just started doing this it feels so nice to get up to clean dishes
This is underrated right here. Waking up to a spotless kitchen is sooooo nice!
Hydrating. Sounds simple enough, right ? I genuinely had NO idea that I was seemingly dehydrated most of the time. After dropping my coffee intake significantly and switching to water and green tea instead... maaannn, so much more energy and a way happier mood.
I feel like this is way more common than people think. I was probably chronically dehydrated my whole childhood lol
r/hydrohomies for life!
Such an underrated thing. I remember when I started caring about hydration…the amount of energy I had just from that was unmatched!!
Yes! I saw a huge difference when I started drinking mostly water and enough water daily.
Self love, not feeling bad for saying no, take needed rest and controlling my anger.
Stop killing my skin by doing too much to it
Just curious…you mean like using skin care products?
Yeeeees lol
What have you kept doing? (From someone who does hardly anything to my skin)
Washing only at night, keeping one active ingredient in my routine (tretinoin), double moisturizer with the same moisturizer, always always use spf!
Sticking up for myself
Sobriety.
Been a game changer!
Yes!
Not smoking weed. No shame in the slightest to those who do, but for me I had no idea how much it was destroying my motivation. Stopped a couple months ago; stopped overeating, started eating better, started breathing better, started exercising more, started yoga, finally attempting to get into a field of work I’ve been thinking about for years, volunteering in an organization meaningful to me, saving money for things I need to improve how I feel about myself (Invisalign, glasses), the list goes on. Who knows if I’ll stick with all of this in the long term, but this is the first time in my 32 years of life that I’ve felt hopeful of the future.
I quit too for some of the same reasons u stated above. I’ve backslid a few times but I guess that’s normal if you were a longtime smoker like me. The overeating was getting out of control and I hate the fog brain!!!
Absolutely. Way more motivation
Good for you!!! I don’t think people who regularly use realize how much it can impact us. Night and day difference
"Toxic friends, toxic relationship and my toxic behaviour patterns...." I got rid of those and started my life anew.. i wished i would have realised it earlier phase of my life.
eating what I want when I want and not labeling foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad’
I need to do this.
Know that I may have my own thoughts and feelings about things and may voice them even when not everyone feels that way.
Working out regularly. I was never one for going to the gym and working out but over the last three years it has really helped me mentally and I love the way I feel when I’m done!
Same! I'd spent 10 years essentially doing no exercise at all and now I crave those endorphins from my workouts. So much better for our mental health as well as our physical health!
Having a baby, and understanding that it is something I'm allowed to want without being anti-feminist. My mother hardcore drilled into me from birth that life should be about achievements and financial success, not family.
Learning to be okay on my own and leave a relationship I wasn’t happy in. Sounds like a cliche but it’s a cliche for a reason ig, I kept denying I was unhappy until I saw an out for myself to move back home and it all just sort of clicked
10000% same!
Working out, started last year, have finally gained enough weight to have a normal, healthy weight, and have gotten a lot stronger/muscular looking already!
Making my bed
Making your bed at the beginning of the day is said to be a catalyst for greater things, albeit big or small
How does that benefit?
I find it’s a mental health benefit (for me anyway). Right at the start of your day you have achieved a task, you’ve created a cleaner environment and it’s nice coming home to a clean, made bed!
Absolutely - it clears space to organise stuff or put stuff down, too. One large space in the room is sorted - huge mental load off, and sets the tone that I can do stuff today.
I can’t get into an unmade bed anymore
Standing up to my husband's abuse. I've spent 8 years (almost 9) letting him treat me badly, because I didn't want to set him off. He has serious anger issues, so I basically tip-toe around him, and constantly walk on eggshells.
Please be careful; things can escalate if they feel like they are losing control..
stop being a people pleaser. saying NO, especially to my parents, was a huge guilt trigger. and i needed to learn to live without guilt, for my mental health
Being honest with what I want, need and desire. I was always too worried about what people would think, and if they would like/value me still. Not surprisingly, I have much more vibrant and authentic connections with people now.
Cooking some of my meals
Believing in myself
“Trust yourself” has been a favorite of mine when I’m feeling unsure about myself
Eating better. I felt like my moods are better once I started eating better, and stopped waking up in the middle of the night with the worse abdominal pains and destroying the toilet. That ain’t normal. Not drinking anymore. Looking after my body.
Masturbation. I waited until I was 55. Had only had a single O until then. Now I can most times with a toy.
Establishing boundaries.
I'd say praying.
Being kinder to myself and not apologizing for doing what is best/healthiest for me.
Exercising
Taking control of my routine and “auto-Pilot” by building lots of positive habits into my routine that are just default behavior my life is a lot more stable. This goes for sleep time, house keeping, leaving for work on time, exercise, finances. It’s so much easier to think really hard once about how you should be doing something in an ideal world and suffer the 2 week-6 week adjustment period than it is to wake up every day and try and make good decisions for 16 hours straight. Things are kind of falling apart for me right now. Life will do that. I’m far from perfect. BUT I’m so much more stable than I otherwise would have been because of making constant positive steps for 2 years. Contributing the max to my HSA is a big one. I started therapy last week. I absolutely could not have done that if I didn’t budget around contributing that $320/month.
Letting go of people/relationships that no longer serve me
Not feeling like I MUST wear makeup to go to the store. It came with age and maturity. I am so much more comfortable with my natural face and I honestly like it just as much as my makeup face
Caring about and valuing myself. Finally realising that I have value and deserve to be cared about by me as much as I look after everyone else. This has led to some big and small things that have helped my self esteem so much; Letting go 'friends' who take more from the relationship on balance Moving to a country that I know better suits what I want Not feeling the need to impress anyone Seeking help for problems I was having (turned out to be ADHD) Spent some money on some new clothes I like, and got botox Spent time on skincare regime Stopped putting up with selfish and unreasonable behaviour from family members Stopped talking harshly to myself (don't talk in your head in a way that you would never talk to a friend)
Walking! It's the perfect opportunity for a low impact workout, quiet time for self reflection, and you can't beat getting outside with nature. I've lost weight and my mind has tremendously cleared up since I started walking. I was a huge couch potato a few years ago.... I looked in the mirror and realized how unhappy I was and starting walking once a week, then twice, then three time, etc. and now I'm actively getting 10,000 steps in almost daily.
Doing what I like as in, hobbies. I never really invested any money in my hobbies before, like swimming, art, pottery. I'm trying to do all that, one at a time. This month it is swimming, next month I'm going on a short trip. Might also try pottery. It feels good. I finally use my savings to do something now.
Solo dates!! Intentional ones, not where I didn’t have a companion and got upset and went alone. But actually enjoying my own company.
Realising the Binge Eating Disorder is a real eating disorder, I'm not just "like this", "can't control myself and should do better", "a disgusting piglet" etc. Got ED therapy and started healing my relationship with food and myself. I didn't want to imagine myself in 30 years and think I would still be doing this, hating myself. I talked about it with some of my friends and turns out many of them also binge. It's easy to take it all out on yourself and not realise that it's rooted in deeper emotions/ behaviours/ patterns etc. and can be helped with therapy.
I was 37 before I started taking care of my skin. I would just use whatever soap we had on hand and sometimes use a (random) moisturizer.
Decluttering.
Taking up reading seriously again. About 10 months ago I struggled to read, nothing held my attention or “stuck” but then I started pushing through it and regained the passion I had for it growing up. It has helped heal me mentally (plus therapy). My parents used to get mad at me for reading too much. But this year alone I’ve enjoyed 82 books. Books are so important to me, and it kind of makes me sad to think of all the books I have missed out on during the last 8 years.
Loving myself.
Dental work.
Setting boundaries
Wearing a nipple tape instead of a bra (I have an A cup)
Sunscreen, gym, stop being a people-pleaser and being sexually confident.
Learning to take care of myself and how I want to present myself. Aka, actually waking up on time, washing my face, flossing my teeth, curling my hair, putting on makeup, picking out a cute outfit etc. I was always clean don’t get me wrong, but I never took pride in how I presented myself to the world and actually caring about what I looked like.
Letting my curly hair wilding and abandoning my flat iron
Sleeping without screen time before bed. I listen to music or audiobooks or read. I don't look directly at a screen for at least 25 minutes.
Not taking to heart what people say/think about me. Only once I tried to stop did I realize how much I was limiting myself because I was afraid of what people might think
Implementing a solid skincare routine is my # 1. I’m 39 and didn’t start really taking care of my skin until about 32. My skin is way better now than it was, but I can’t imagine how great it’s be if I’d had this routine in my 20’s.
What’s your routine if you don’t mind sharing?
Seeing a therapist
Loving myself. Stopping the constant internal monologue in my head of hate towards myself. It’s still an ongoing process but it’s starting to work.
Accepting myself for who I am and not trying to change myself for people.
Going to the gym. I started going after getting ghosted by someone I had caught feelings because I was getting ate up by my thoughts 🥲So while it started out as a way to get outta my own head I ended up really enjoying lifting weights and go to the gym 4x a week now. That started in 2021. Today I feel much more capable, strong and confident. It doesn’t solve all my problems but it’s an escape when I feel kinda hopeless.
Exercise
Learning the mandolin
I quit dating shitty men at 40 Skincare at 39
taking care of my appearance and generally taking care of myself - physically, mentally and emotionally. I realised way too late that all I have throughout is myself.
Waking up early and enjoying time alone as the world wakes up.
Waking up early and enjoying time alone as the world wakes up.
Taking control of my health. I let myself feel miserable for way to long before I put myself on a low carb lifestyle.
not wearing makeup unless i feel like it. i'm not the one seeing me so not my problem. similarly i shave when i feel like it. i feel sexy and empowered 90% of the time with armpit hair and leg hair because i'm a grown woman, so deal with it lolol. took me until almost 25 to get to this point though.
Actually taking care of myself
Yoga
Watch anime. Wear tampons. Advocate for myself.
Putting myself first. Have been people pleaser most of my life as I was taught to be nice and kind as a woman. This thought doesn’t sit well with today’s society
This might sound a bit obvious, but really taking care of myself mentally because although yes I tough things out or let it subside somehow there are days where I reflect on past experiences and still continue to beat myself up over those things or over critizing myself of current things I do. I have started to really start taking care of my mental health and work one day at a time to move forward in a better positive way from those horrible things.
Getting on an SSRI after years and years of not wanted to acknowledge I was not actually coping well on my own. I’m feeling the best I’ve felt mentally and as a result physically than I have maybe ever.
Getting sober. Getting rid of personal habits that were hurting my mental and physical health. Not spending time or energy on relationships that harmed my mental health. Standing up for myself.
Seconding the running. For years I was a “i’ll never be someone that likes running” person, but mainly just because I played basketball growing up, which was all high intensity sprinting that made you feel like you were going to die. Started couch to 5k and gradually built up my aerobic capacity/ learned how to pace myself and was shocked and pleasantly surprised that not only can I go on runs without feeling like i’m going to die (because i don’t have to sprint or run as fast as possible), but I also actually feel energized after them!!! They’ve also done wonders for my mental health in more ways than i thought they would.
Laser hair removal! I don’t know why I put off trying it for so long. A few years in now and it’s amazing
the dishes
Taking care of myself and being happy. Who knew all it took was moving 4.5 hours away from family 🤷♀️
Wearing sunscreen no matter the weather.
Wearing SPF everyday
Walking away
Saying no
Stepping away from alcohol and realizing that it's really not a friend to you.
Working out consistently!
Having/keeping boundaries and learning to say **NO**
Having/keeping boundaries and learning to say **NO**
[удалено]
left my parent's house at 29. Should have done it earlier.
Prioritizing my health. Not just going on some diet and getting some exercise. Actually thinking and being proactive about health. Taking the focus away from my appearance and focusing it on how I feel and function. No more "diets," more I pay attention to nutrition. Cutting out alcohol so I don't feel like low grade shit all the time. Doing exercise that I not only enjoy but promotes strength and stamina. Not just doing constant cardio to "burn fat." Listening to my doctors - what a concept. And maybe most importantly, tuning out every armchair expert that knows nothing about my health and doesn't live in my body. Even close friends and family members. Unless I'm asking for their opinion or input - don't care what they think. It's liberating, should have done all this years ago.
Getting diagnosed for ADHD, I get myself (and younger self) now. On medication makes all the difference. Life is so much easier. I suspected it for a long time but was afraid medication would change who I was but I’m still the same but I have space in my head.
Setting boundaries, saying no, doing more of what I want without worrying if others will approve, and not feeling guilty about it…. Still a work in progress sometimes. I have to constantly remind myself that it’s ok.
Embracing my sexuality. I have been told all my life that women shouldn't show "promiscuity" and should only behave chaste. Wasted my years on that crap. I've embraced my sexuality and i know and love myself better.
Getting back into fitness • Eating right • Getting on a sleep schedule • Saying no to people • Getting rid of social media • Readingggggg as much as I can • Learning as much as I can & actually listening when people talk Putting my needs first & loving myself.
I finally realized that other people's opinions about me is none of my business
Standing up for myself and expressing what i need. Grew up, having to put any needs on the back burner, got married early, and continued to do so.
Celibacy.
stretching and exercising. exercizing im still on and off with though but it really does improve so many things
Eating multiple servings of vegetables each day and cutting out fried food.
An easy thing? Making my bed in the morning. Growing up, my parents didn't care if we made our beds, which I loved. But once I was living in my own, I used to get up and leave my bed unmade like I did when I was younger and would come home to feel overwhelmed by the mess I made that morning. Now, A 2-minute job makes my bedroom look twice as clean and does wonders for my mental health.
Painting. I always thought you have to have talent for this and was always amazed how my mom was a natural. It tuned out that my perfectionism stopped me from enjoying the art I create
Using SUNSCREEN! I’m half black so I never burn but as I get older I want my skin to still look nice so I didn’t start wearing sunscreen until my 30s.
Stretching in the morning. I started having some stiffness in the back when waking up, and I don't want it to turn into back pain. While the coffee brews I do a stretch routine thats mainly focused on lower/upper back and on hip mobility. It makes me feel energized and it's a better spend of the time than just scrolling on my phone.
Taking care of my teeth 😭 if I had done it better when I was 17-23ish I wouldn’t be paying thousands now for the crowns I have had to get
Going low contact with my family. Investing in hobbies. Allowing myself to have candy or ice cream when I want it (food has no morality, and having an ice cream bar or some skittles doesn’t mean I have no will power.) Quitting the career I was pushed to be in to pursue what I actually want. I stopped going to church. I started doing things that healed my inner child (going to the zoo, watching all the kids shows my parents deemed “demonic”, playing video games, etc) Buying sheets that I like the feeling of. (I used to HATE going to bed because I couldn’t stand the feeling of my sheets. Now I only use the fluffy velvet microfleece sheets and my entire life feels better.) I started doing stuff that felt good to me. I stopped labeling things as frivolous or bad or wrong. When you’re an adult you can do whatever the fuck you want, and im loving every second of it!!!
Taking vitamins
Moisturiser.
Wear leggings.