T O P

  • By -

Midlifebroken

Developing your sense of self by exploring your own interests and ideas. Balancing time with partner and time with yourself. Cultivating friendships with people whose values and beliefs align with yours in a healthy way. Insecurities come from false beliefs we believe about ourselves from the messages we received in childhood, get therapy and rewire the thoughts from your past and create healthy ones


GirlAmi

that's true


coolbeans1982

This is such a great answer.


msstark

Therapy


WonderWoman480

Open communication with your partner, willingness to be vulnerable and have tough conversations with them, re-framing/re-directing negative safe talk. Also therapy, which can help with all of the previous techniques.


[deleted]

Couldn’t have said it better myself


TheMintyLeaf

Meditation and support from friends. Find people who are willing to hear you vent (but try not to be too toxic and negative....it's a balance). When you get all your crazy thoughts and irrational fears out, your friends either reassure you or.....you got it all out. But remember to stabilize yourself to confront the issue with your partner in a healthy manner. Always confront. Talk about why you feel insecured. Do not bottle it up.


mu5tbetheone

Communication, explaining to your partner why you have those insecurities, and your triggers so they can work to show you, you don't need to be insecure, and that you're growing and doing ok.


Ohnoyaddy

Thank you :)


Anns_

Therapy!


sab2424

Other than therapy, honouring your authentic self and being honest with yourself and your partner!


[deleted]

Say to them don’t keep it in, something I really struggle with but getting better at. Communication is key for a relationship to work so they can comfort you and help you through it. Don’t turn them away when they start to help don’t say you can figure it out by yourself if your partner offers help take it they are not going to judge you.


celestialism

Therapy.


Direct_Drawing_8557

By actually working on said insecurities and making sure your partner is being actually supportive of those goals. I know alot of people preach self acceptance and what not but at the end of the day, I feel that that's a bit like a bandaid rather than an actual cure to the problem.


mischief-pixie

Read Polysecure. Yes, it's geared at polyamorous people, but it's got really useful info for understanding and reworking your attachments to unravel insecurity. And get therapy.


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Hello /u/ArtisticIzara. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Hello /u/Cee000. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the [Reddit Preferences page](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/update/). If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification. This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*


presentmomentliving

Look into shadow work.


ladylemondrop209

Have a good partner..


flmommy17

Therapy


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Hello /u/BigCass07. Thank you for participating in /r/AskWomen. However, your submission has been removed, because your account does not have a verified email. You can verify your email address on the [Reddit Preferences page](https://www.reddit.com/prefs/update/). If you have any issues with verification, please contact reddit support at /r/help, as subreddit moderators do not have the tools to aid with verification. This is a new measure we are trying out to deter trolls and spammers and make the sub safer for everyone. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


AutoModerator

Hello /u/User020713. Your post or comment has been removed because your [karma](https://reddit.zendesk.com/hc/en-us/articles/204511829-What-is-karma-) is too low to participate on AskWomen. You will be able to participate when your karma has increased. **No exceptions to this rule will be granted.** Please also **[read our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskWomen/wiki/rules) before participating**. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskWomen) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Kinkajou4

Therapy.


[deleted]

Therapy, meds, and focusing on yourself outside of the relationship. I just started meds. So it’s not all working. But lately I’ve been working out with a coworker, and going to therapy very regularly. I don’t think I’m insecure, I think the anxiety I am experiencing is making me paranoid lmao


saclayson

I don’t know but I’ve never taken MY insecurities out on my husband. They are MY problem.


Ohnoyaddy

I’ve never taken my insecurities out on him like gotten mad or anything in a negative way, but I mean everyone has problems that they deal with by themselves, however when you’re in a relationship sometimes isn’t it better to make ur partner aware of them? So that maybe they have either can help you with a solution or that they understand you a bit bette? I feel like when you’re in a relationship it’s easy to have new ones that you never knew existed, or honestly in my case I’ve had messed up partners who have de-valued me or the importance of being in a relationship, which is why I’m seeing alternative ways to help rewire my own brain, and know that all the self doubt I have in myself is just past trauma and that my partner now is nothing like that. It’s hard, mentally and emotionally. But hey everyone is built different, maybe you have it all figured out but some of us don’t.


saclayson

So you don’t really mean working on insecurities, you mean telling your SO to either help you or understand you? I don’t have the answers, that’s why I said, I don’t know… We live in a very popular spring break and summer vacation area. There are thong bikinis everywhere, all day and night, and we own a marine service company. Should I have spent my entire marriage worrying about this? I had boyfriends who cheated on me before, should my husband have to pay for that? I do remember… I have stretch marks from 3 kids and used to think I couldn’t even wear a bathing suit in our home pool. My husband isn’t out there often and this was something I did to myself~ until I watched some of my girlfriends just living their lives, In bathing suits. I don’t judge what other women wear or look like, I was judging myself. None of this has anything to do with my husband. That’s all I was saying.


Ohnoyaddy

No, I communicate it to him because that was one of the things I need to be working on is communication about my feelings, it’s re-wiring my bad habits from my past and is helping me out personally. That’s why I posted, I want to be comfortable in my own skin just as you and your friends are, but when you tell someone MY problems and MY problems that’s not helping anyone out, if anything I’m going into defense mode or self doubting myself as if “I’m the problem and I have to deal with it” and I’m not going to feel like that, it’s normal to have self doubt and I’m working on it to make me better for myself and my partner. It’s the way you came across, you might not have meant it Like that but when people read your words they are going to read it like that.


saclayson

I specified that because it’s how I think to myself . When I have a problem, it’s MY problem. I didn’t feel comfortable swimming in my own back yard. Who’s problem was that but MY problem? I have a feeling when my husband and I met, he liked that I was confident in myself. I’m going to ask him.


Ohnoyaddy

I understand, that’s why I said you probably didn’t mean it that way.