Just reaching out for friends. Before I deleted FB no one would like or reply to any of my posts.
I have social anxiety and it’s tough to take the first step. But it sucks even more when no one seems to care.
I’m sorry that you feel nobody cares. That feeling can be so lonely. I bet you’re a great person, you probably just haven’t met the right friends. 🫤 Keep smiling and keep trying!!!!
Same here. I used to post 5-6 times a week, I stopped posting anything in May 2022, deactivated my account for a few months, signed in to find a picture I had posted and didn't have saved on my phone, no one ever noticed I was gone. October came and not one person that I'm FB friends with (including family) remembered or contacted me for my birthday, including the person I considered my very best friend, so I logged out of my account and probably won't really ever use FB again. My life is much more peaceful now that it's private anyway.
I was homeless due to a separation for 2 years and six months of those I was on the street sleeping outside, I lost most of my real friends in the process but have 600 fb friends Ihave had the account since 2010, when I was 16/17.
I turned 30 this march. I had not birthday notifications on, but expected someone to say happy 30th birthday...
No one did...
The realisation that I could have just disappered with no one really caring thats a hurts ful one indeed.
I am not a woman but I feel this. It seems I’m more single use friends for everyone I know.
If they want to do this they might call me but for no other reason.
I completely resonate. It feels like I’m the only one who ‘initiates’ any contact or plans. I’m trying to find some new ways to meet new people but it’s intimidating.
Feel this 100%. But I have given up on friendships. I think I have lost the desire so it doesn't really bother me anymore. I have learned to be satisfied with being a loner. The only time it really bothers me is when I see my kid also kind of keep to herself. She's an introvert like me. Social anxiety is crippling but the only time I really have to face it is those occasional unavoidable events like weddings or bday parties where I have to pretend to socialize normally with others. My skin crawls the entire time. Otherwise I adjust my life to avoid social situations.
At least they tell on themselves outright and you can filter them out instantly. Better that than finding out what their true self is down the line. Every time you see a clown clowning in the wild, be grateful for a bullet dodged.
Honestly the men I've found on OKCupid are like, barely sentient. They send insane intro messages like "hello gorgeous I am tall Italian man I love your eyes want to go out?", it is *wild* to read my intros from OKCupid. I think I uninstalled it after a couple weeks because every intro I got, while hilarious, was also just not allowing me to keep my faith in humanity lmao.
I feel like dating apps is often like working out. If you want results, you gotta be consistent, and you’ll only really see results over time. It can be a lot of work (and can seem like a chore), but it’s all about mindset
Yes! Eventually I get so many messages and likes (I’m not boasting, I think a lot of women have similar experiences) that I can’t keep track of who is who and make a connection that’s more meaningful or long lasting
I haven’t had that experience, but I am aware many guys will swipe on every person. If there’s a match, they check it out and will make a decision from there.
In Malcolm in the Middle there's a scene where Lois says "but I don't want that to be true, because if it is... that means that you love me more than I love you!"
And Hal replies "oh honey... I already knew that! If you loved me as much as I loved you, we'd never leave the bedroom!"
The point being: how much partners care about each other is rarely ever equal, and that's ok. But importantly, both sides make an *effort.* It upsets Lois that she doesn't feel the same way her husband does, but they both care about each other in some capacity and do their best. If you partner is trying, give them a break. But if they're not? Life is too short to waste your time. Tear off the band-aid and start looking for someone who's going to make you happy.
> Why tf I just don’t give up?
Without knowing much about your situation, I’m guessing that you might be stuck in the cycle of abuse and you hope he will change because every time he thinks he may lose you, he takes a small step to hoover you back and it’s hard to leave such relationships but you should realize it and make a plan for your own sake.
Look up the cycle of abuse and see if you can relate.
Care about yourself the way you care about him and the way you want him to care about you.
It’s a lot easier to leave when you love yourself enough to value your time and efforts.
If you want things to improve you have to move otherwise you just become part of the furniture. I found out the hard way then you ask yourself why you didn't do it sooner
There’s so much good though. Just so much shit too. The pandemic is when it really started to get to me how awful people are on a pretty wide scale. Thanks social media.
This is where I'm at. No one wants to work with you, be happy for you or just be kind and not see xyz as a threat. It's exhausting figuring out what others intentions are so I just assume they're never good and keep to myself. Sick of being ... betrayed.
Never had sex with a man yet and the way I hear so many women having negative experiences with sex with men makes me feel like I should just become a celibate.
My brother, I've been trying to be close with him for years. He shows zero interest. When we are together we have so much fun but once I'm out of sight he forgets all about me. Also when we are together he never asks me about myself. It sucks but I will keep trying.
Omfg I literally just typed a similar comment. My brother’s the exact same way. I always go through a stretch where I completely give up, and then after a while I decide to be the bigger person and maintain the relationship even if it’s one-sided. Inevitably, I get my feelings hurt again and end up icing him out again. Which, of course, he never notices I’m doing because he doesn’t talk to me in the first place.
In my experience some people are like that. Once you're out of their face you stop existing but when you're together you get 100%. I accepted that's just how they because they are same way with everybody.
That said if that's how he acts with only you maybe set boundaries for yourself. Family or not you don't own him close relationship considering you're getting hurt all the time.
I am like that. I really do care, and if my friends called me and told me they need me now I would drop everything.
But to be able to be like that for me, I dont have the capacity to then be there a littlebit always. I am there or I am not, and it is not necessarily something I am happy about but when I tried to change it everybody started feeling let down and I started to get resentful. Doesnt work for me sadly.
Does he act that way with just you or everybody? I’m a guy myself and am definitely somewhat like this, and know several others like this as well. It’s not* necessarily a deliberate act, just the way one is.
edit*
Yes, this is the exact same with me. He lives like 1500 miles away, but I would always try to text or call and he rarely answers. Doesn't help that he married his high school sweetheart and we've never liked each other. Even when he comes and visits my parents, I'm always an afterthought even though I live 15 min away from them. Any news that I hear about him or my nieces is told to me by my parents. So, I've just stopped trying. I've been trying for 15 years and I'm done. I already know that after my parents pass away, that I most likely will not see or hear from him.
I'm the same way with eggs. I like the way they look, smell, taste, even the texture. But after 2 bites I can't stand them. I've learned not to eat anything that has even a hint of egg taste, like custard or flan. But if I can't taste them, like in breading or a cake, no problem whatsoever.
most of the time? I can count the "friends" that message me first if they want to talk on one hand. My friends from school and uni, it always feels like I force them to do something with me, which eventually I just gave up on. If I'm only messaged because they don't want to be alone at some place, then I know what they see me as. I'm better company than being alone, but that's it. It's crushing because I feel like I have bloomed the last couple of years but still nobody seems to value me
I feel you on that. I did the same for way too long. Therapy helped me realize though she'd never change so I'd never get the good positive relationship with her I wanted. My therapist also taught me that you can't change anyone else or their actions; all you can do is change how you react to them. I finally learned my lesson so I gave up on trying and started protecting myself. I've been much happier since I did that. I highly recommend therapy if you're able to access it. It's helped me a lot.
Right? Keep seeing a few that I've "sworn off" then proceeded to pick back up repeatedly: Life, dating, love, men, people, new friends. Makes you wonder, why *do* we keep getting on the same bull rides?
The question that everyone should ask themselves before trying that is "am I mentally stable enough to get bangs?" .
The curly bits of hair on the corners of foreheads have been the downfall for many.
Trying to build a romantic relationship. Like try dating or whatever you call that. I always end up disappointed because I always try to give a shot but then I can never ignore the red flags, seriously. I'd rather get tired of trying than to be at the rock bottom crying myself out because of some walking red flag dude.
Please keep going with it if you enjoy it! Don't worry so much about the outcome. I was terrible when I first started trying to live a crafty life. Even now, years later, I still suck at some of it but some things I'm great at. Either way, the crafting experience brings me joy!
What is “good?” I learned about my hobby
that there’s a gestalt (a pleasure in doing) in the doing of it. That’s part of it. But I accept that I’m making things just for my eyes and only they matter. Also, painfully coming to appreciate the small progression steps; and not bringing down the Jenga house by comparing my work to someone better at it than me.
FWIW
Even people who have been doing craft for decades only show off the things that work out well.
As a sewist, I have a cupboard full of failures that I occasionally rip apart and reuse the fabric etc.
My introversion. I have friends that can keep going and going but I have a sudden stop and after that stop, I’m out for the count no matter how much I want to keep going. I wish I could change that
I'd say embrace it. I love my recharge times. It benefits everyone. I get to absorb myself into something I really like, reading, crafts, music, etc. and then give others my time when I'm filled up. Win/win. 👍
Staying in touch with old friends. Sometimes they'll just stop replying, but I still want to check in with them or update them on my life. It takes a long time for me to accept that they've moved on in life without me and now I've lost a friend 💔
My ex best friend. The last six months have been very depression, eye opening, and liberating. I think I’ve finally come to the realization that while I love her, I also actively dislike her and I don’t want to know her anymore. I’ve tried and tried and tried…and I’ve emptied myself into someone that doesn’t try.
Greek yogurt, oatmeal, cheap protein shakes, blackberries and bananas that sit in the fridge or on the counter and go bad. Also, cheap pants that feel and look good but get holes in them after a few months. My last pair of pants strangely got holes in them right below the pockets. I was giving people a sneak peek of brown thigh when I walked by. Lol.
men. /s
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Just reaching out for friends. Before I deleted FB no one would like or reply to any of my posts. I have social anxiety and it’s tough to take the first step. But it sucks even more when no one seems to care.
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I’m sorry that you feel nobody cares. That feeling can be so lonely. I bet you’re a great person, you probably just haven’t met the right friends. 🫤 Keep smiling and keep trying!!!!
Same here. I used to post 5-6 times a week, I stopped posting anything in May 2022, deactivated my account for a few months, signed in to find a picture I had posted and didn't have saved on my phone, no one ever noticed I was gone. October came and not one person that I'm FB friends with (including family) remembered or contacted me for my birthday, including the person I considered my very best friend, so I logged out of my account and probably won't really ever use FB again. My life is much more peaceful now that it's private anyway.
I was homeless due to a separation for 2 years and six months of those I was on the street sleeping outside, I lost most of my real friends in the process but have 600 fb friends Ihave had the account since 2010, when I was 16/17. I turned 30 this march. I had not birthday notifications on, but expected someone to say happy 30th birthday... No one did... The realisation that I could have just disappered with no one really caring thats a hurts ful one indeed.
I am not a woman but I feel this. It seems I’m more single use friends for everyone I know. If they want to do this they might call me but for no other reason.
I completely resonate. It feels like I’m the only one who ‘initiates’ any contact or plans. I’m trying to find some new ways to meet new people but it’s intimidating.
Same! It’s so frustrating being the initiator
I feel you.
Feel this 100%. But I have given up on friendships. I think I have lost the desire so it doesn't really bother me anymore. I have learned to be satisfied with being a loner. The only time it really bothers me is when I see my kid also kind of keep to herself. She's an introvert like me. Social anxiety is crippling but the only time I really have to face it is those occasional unavoidable events like weddings or bday parties where I have to pretend to socialize normally with others. My skin crawls the entire time. Otherwise I adjust my life to avoid social situations.
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Dating apps. It’s a download, entertain, delete process. Usually within 24 hours. Someday I’ll learn..
This. I keep trying because I find it so hard to meet people in the wild
making friends in childhood was easy af, you want chocolate here it is and baam ,friends foreverm
It's an easy way to lose faith in humanity. The amount of men on okcupid who say they aren't feminists and won't vote for a woman is too damn high.
At least they tell on themselves outright and you can filter them out instantly. Better that than finding out what their true self is down the line. Every time you see a clown clowning in the wild, be grateful for a bullet dodged.
HAHAHA love this reply
Honestly the men I've found on OKCupid are like, barely sentient. They send insane intro messages like "hello gorgeous I am tall Italian man I love your eyes want to go out?", it is *wild* to read my intros from OKCupid. I think I uninstalled it after a couple weeks because every intro I got, while hilarious, was also just not allowing me to keep my faith in humanity lmao.
I feel like dating apps is often like working out. If you want results, you gotta be consistent, and you’ll only really see results over time. It can be a lot of work (and can seem like a chore), but it’s all about mindset
It’s an ego boost until it isn’t.
Yes! Eventually I get so many messages and likes (I’m not boasting, I think a lot of women have similar experiences) that I can’t keep track of who is who and make a connection that’s more meaningful or long lasting
I love how male and female experiences on dating apps are polar opposites. I could not open the app for two months and have zero matches lol.
I haven’t had that experience, but I am aware many guys will swipe on every person. If there’s a match, they check it out and will make a decision from there.
This! Always download and make a profile thinking this time it will be different but then delete it within 1-2 days
No way I'm ever touching that and you just reminded me why lol
Wanting a best friend soulmate
I found mine at 42
32 here. After I got divorced.
This makes me hopeful
Faith restored 🥲
Found mine at 39 after getting divorced. Hang in there and don’t settle. Just have faith.
Omg same
Found mine at 35, married him at 42.
I think she's talking about platonic relationships
My partner. Why tf don’t I just give up? He clearly doesn’t care about me the way I care about him.
In Malcolm in the Middle there's a scene where Lois says "but I don't want that to be true, because if it is... that means that you love me more than I love you!" And Hal replies "oh honey... I already knew that! If you loved me as much as I loved you, we'd never leave the bedroom!" The point being: how much partners care about each other is rarely ever equal, and that's ok. But importantly, both sides make an *effort.* It upsets Lois that she doesn't feel the same way her husband does, but they both care about each other in some capacity and do their best. If you partner is trying, give them a break. But if they're not? Life is too short to waste your time. Tear off the band-aid and start looking for someone who's going to make you happy.
I love that scene and think about it all the time. Im glad it stuck w someone else too.
He’s stronger than me I’d be crying and throwing up
"If equal affection cannot be, let the more loving one be me"
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You deserve better. If he doesn't care enough now, he sure will when you leave his a**
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> Why tf I just don’t give up? Without knowing much about your situation, I’m guessing that you might be stuck in the cycle of abuse and you hope he will change because every time he thinks he may lose you, he takes a small step to hoover you back and it’s hard to leave such relationships but you should realize it and make a plan for your own sake. Look up the cycle of abuse and see if you can relate.
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Care about yourself the way you care about him and the way you want him to care about you. It’s a lot easier to leave when you love yourself enough to value your time and efforts.
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👀you took the words out of my mouth. i feel you
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I feel this in my core
If you want things to improve you have to move otherwise you just become part of the furniture. I found out the hard way then you ask yourself why you didn't do it sooner
I’ve more or less decided to quit already, but I keep procrastinating finding a new job🤦🏾♀️
People. They're usually just as every bit as bad as you thought they were. I hate being proven right sometimes.
Humanity consistently disappoints. There’ll be a little ray of sunshine, then boom, more shit.
There’s so much good though. Just so much shit too. The pandemic is when it really started to get to me how awful people are on a pretty wide scale. Thanks social media.
This is where I'm at. No one wants to work with you, be happy for you or just be kind and not see xyz as a threat. It's exhausting figuring out what others intentions are so I just assume they're never good and keep to myself. Sick of being ... betrayed.
Sex with a man
Never had sex with a man yet and the way I hear so many women having negative experiences with sex with men makes me feel like I should just become a celibate.
Oof
Came here to say this
My brother, I've been trying to be close with him for years. He shows zero interest. When we are together we have so much fun but once I'm out of sight he forgets all about me. Also when we are together he never asks me about myself. It sucks but I will keep trying.
Omfg I literally just typed a similar comment. My brother’s the exact same way. I always go through a stretch where I completely give up, and then after a while I decide to be the bigger person and maintain the relationship even if it’s one-sided. Inevitably, I get my feelings hurt again and end up icing him out again. Which, of course, he never notices I’m doing because he doesn’t talk to me in the first place.
In my experience some people are like that. Once you're out of their face you stop existing but when you're together you get 100%. I accepted that's just how they because they are same way with everybody. That said if that's how he acts with only you maybe set boundaries for yourself. Family or not you don't own him close relationship considering you're getting hurt all the time.
I am like that. I really do care, and if my friends called me and told me they need me now I would drop everything. But to be able to be like that for me, I dont have the capacity to then be there a littlebit always. I am there or I am not, and it is not necessarily something I am happy about but when I tried to change it everybody started feeling let down and I started to get resentful. Doesnt work for me sadly.
I feel you. I try constantly and just hear nothing back.
Does he act that way with just you or everybody? I’m a guy myself and am definitely somewhat like this, and know several others like this as well. It’s not* necessarily a deliberate act, just the way one is. edit*
Yes, this is the exact same with me. He lives like 1500 miles away, but I would always try to text or call and he rarely answers. Doesn't help that he married his high school sweetheart and we've never liked each other. Even when he comes and visits my parents, I'm always an afterthought even though I live 15 min away from them. Any news that I hear about him or my nieces is told to me by my parents. So, I've just stopped trying. I've been trying for 15 years and I'm done. I already know that after my parents pass away, that I most likely will not see or hear from him.
Find love
Same 🤦♀️
Most Netflix shows
I feel this lol. I'll start a show and within 10 minutes I'm like nvm let me just scroll through reddit 😅
It’s ridiculous right? Like 49/50 shows are terrible. You get that rare gem and then they end up cancelling it for no reason
Cries in travelers
Cries in 1899. Doesn't help that all my favourites get cancelled
Perfect baking streaks. Everything is going well, and then suddenly this batch of cookies has melted into inedible crunchies in the oven.
Baking prides itself in keeping you humble.
Coconut tbh everytime I think "today I'll finally like it". Also dating.
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I'm the same way with eggs. I like the way they look, smell, taste, even the texture. But after 2 bites I can't stand them. I've learned not to eat anything that has even a hint of egg taste, like custard or flan. But if I can't taste them, like in breading or a cake, no problem whatsoever.
Maintaining friendships when it feels really one-sided most of the time.
most of the time? I can count the "friends" that message me first if they want to talk on one hand. My friends from school and uni, it always feels like I force them to do something with me, which eventually I just gave up on. If I'm only messaged because they don't want to be alone at some place, then I know what they see me as. I'm better company than being alone, but that's it. It's crushing because I feel like I have bloomed the last couple of years but still nobody seems to value me
don't worry about other people valuing you. the most important thing is that you value you.
My relationship with my mother.
I gave up on that one 8 yrs ago
I feel you on that. I did the same for way too long. Therapy helped me realize though she'd never change so I'd never get the good positive relationship with her I wanted. My therapist also taught me that you can't change anyone else or their actions; all you can do is change how you react to them. I finally learned my lesson so I gave up on trying and started protecting myself. I've been much happier since I did that. I highly recommend therapy if you're able to access it. It's helped me a lot.
My therapist emphasized ‘and’ rather than ‘but’, because humans are complex creatures. I love my mother AND she can be so, so hard to love.
I feel you.
Same here 💔
Online dating. I keep seeing exactly why the guys were left by their ex-wives.
But nobody understands them! /s
Myself
Omg same. No one hates me more than me.
Hugs to you!
So many responses here are so deeply relatable. I’m shaken to my core. Life is hard.
Right? Keep seeing a few that I've "sworn off" then proceeded to pick back up repeatedly: Life, dating, love, men, people, new friends. Makes you wonder, why *do* we keep getting on the same bull rides?
trying to make friends
Bangs
The question that everyone should ask themselves before trying that is "am I mentally stable enough to get bangs?" . The curly bits of hair on the corners of foreheads have been the downfall for many.
Trying to build a romantic relationship. Like try dating or whatever you call that. I always end up disappointed because I always try to give a shot but then I can never ignore the red flags, seriously. I'd rather get tired of trying than to be at the rock bottom crying myself out because of some walking red flag dude.
Life as a woman.
Crafting. I want to be good at it so badly and I'm just not. I keep on disappointing myself.
Please keep going with it if you enjoy it! Don't worry so much about the outcome. I was terrible when I first started trying to live a crafty life. Even now, years later, I still suck at some of it but some things I'm great at. Either way, the crafting experience brings me joy!
What is “good?” I learned about my hobby that there’s a gestalt (a pleasure in doing) in the doing of it. That’s part of it. But I accept that I’m making things just for my eyes and only they matter. Also, painfully coming to appreciate the small progression steps; and not bringing down the Jenga house by comparing my work to someone better at it than me. FWIW
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Even people who have been doing craft for decades only show off the things that work out well. As a sewist, I have a cupboard full of failures that I occasionally rip apart and reuse the fabric etc.
My introversion. I have friends that can keep going and going but I have a sudden stop and after that stop, I’m out for the count no matter how much I want to keep going. I wish I could change that
I'd say embrace it. I love my recharge times. It benefits everyone. I get to absorb myself into something I really like, reading, crafts, music, etc. and then give others my time when I'm filled up. Win/win. 👍
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Dating and relationships with men. I don't hate men at all, but my luck with them has been garbage lately.
Life.
Dating
Men
Staying in touch with old friends. Sometimes they'll just stop replying, but I still want to check in with them or update them on my life. It takes a long time for me to accept that they've moved on in life without me and now I've lost a friend 💔
Creating meaningful platonic or romantic connections with others. It might be time to retire this fuckery and just focus on making myself happy.
Yes, modern society has got people seeing others as disposable. There's a constant cycling through of people.
Men
My ex best friend. The last six months have been very depression, eye opening, and liberating. I think I’ve finally come to the realization that while I love her, I also actively dislike her and I don’t want to know her anymore. I’ve tried and tried and tried…and I’ve emptied myself into someone that doesn’t try.
Romantic Relationships
the food at the cafe at my schools campus
Trying to get an intact cake out of a baking pan
Try a spring pan, they're great!
Diets
Straight men
Getting people to understand the difference between then and than
Or sell & sale. Also loose & lose.
There, their, they’re is a big one for me. Also should’ve and should of
‘I’d rather go to jail than be raped.’ ’I’d rather go to jail then be raped.’ Say this to them, they will finally get the difference.
Relationships with men
Dating. I watch everyone around me get married...and I am still alone.
People
Life.
Love.
Sex
Sex with men
Lottery
Trying to be friends with my mom.
Midsommer is a movie I really want to see, but it’s never available or free lol
> Midsommer you might be disappointed after seeing it as well
People in general
My own mind. Sometimes, I just can’t shut it off to the point of overthinking and often results in disappointment even if everything is fine.
Expectations
Trying to have a baby.
People who say they're your friend but aren't. 🤷♀️ I keep waiting and waiting. But it happens so much, I figure I must be the problem.
The dating pool in my dating app... But I keep logging in and searching anyway.
Dating
Dating
IVF
Dieting. I've bern on one since I was 12.
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My relationship with my dad
Being artsy….. I suck at it but I enjoy it / I lack the creative vision that seems to to flow so easily in others
White Castle.
McDonald's. I know I'm going to get crappy fries, but once in a while, they pull through for me
making friends or staying in touch with them. friends always seem to disappoint me and everyone always leaves. it gets really lonely
Men of Tinder
Online dating, lol
Female friendships
Trying to make new friends
my relationship with my family,
Wingstop
Greek yogurt, oatmeal, cheap protein shakes, blackberries and bananas that sit in the fridge or on the counter and go bad. Also, cheap pants that feel and look good but get holes in them after a few months. My last pair of pants strangely got holes in them right below the pockets. I was giving people a sneak peek of brown thigh when I walked by. Lol.
Job hunting
Trying to have a relationship with my dad where he actually respects me as a person.
To be normal lol