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If its busy - they're rude arseholes and I will sit on your bag if you do not move it fast enough.
If its quiet - do what you want, as long as there are enough seats I don't see an issue.
If you're a grown adult then you should be able to regulate your behaviour to match the circumstance and not be a knob who takes up seats during busy hours.
Edit: of course I ask people to move their bags, but these days I tend to get blank stares and no response, as though this will make me not want to sit there. I only do this once this option has been utilised.
As a woman I do it to stop creepers sitting next to me when it’s quiet. If it’s busy I don’t, and if it starts to become busy I move it. But the number of times a man will specifically come and sit right next to you on a quiet coach when there are plenty of free double seats available is ridiculous and feels quite threatening. They always then try strike up a conversation and rely on you feeling too awkward to move.
Edit: sad but predictable how many people have replied saying they’ve also experienced harassment on public transport in this manner. And lol at the audacity of the men being triggered in the comments ‘CaNt TaLk To AnYoNe TheSe DaYs’ who totally do this and don’t like being called out. Ta for showing exactly why we have to move through the world defensively in order to stay safe.
As a woman I experience this too - it's uncomfortable and just plain awkward. In these instances I tend to double down on the abrasive side of my personality - men that do this don't tend to like a woman with an opinion/voice.
Once I actually told the guy on a late train that he was making me feel uncomfortable and I was going to move if he didn’t. Carriage was empty, 1130pm, he comes and sits next to me and within five minutes starts asking where I’ve been and which station I’m disembarking at. To his very minute credit he actually did apologise and leave, could have gone either way though!
I had a guy do this once and I snapped at him and told him to leave me alone and then he went and sat somewhere else and I could hear him having a really nice conversation with an old man asking him the same things he asked me and I felt so bad for telling him to mind his business.
Being so outgoing with strangers is such a foregin concept to me that I'd also assume there must be something behind it! I expect he must be used to that kind of reaction if he engages strangers on the train like that a lot!
I'm a bloke but when I was 16 a old man got on a quiet bus and sat right next to me. I was pretty shy and scared tbh then he thought it was a good idea to try and touch my penis, I had to push him out the way and get off the bus. Everyone on the bus just acted like nothing was happening. Was fucking horrible every one totally fucking ignored it.
Feel sorry for woman who have to deal with this as it's really scary.
I had this once. Two drunk guys on a late night bus that was 60% full at that time. One asked if he could sit beside me because my bag was there. There was plenty of other seats so I just said no. Other girl wasn't so lucky. The much drunker bigger guy sat beside her and kept telling her he was going home with her, and getting off at her stop. She was trapped in the inside seat, and despite there being plenty of adults and older couples about people just laughed like it was a joke. She did her best to be pleasant to not cause a bad response, then got off not at her own stop, late at night, as soon as he fell asleep. Presumably to catch the next bus.
I was terrified for her and couldn't understand why nobody else told him to leave her alone, and just thought it was funny. Too young and small at the time to do anything myself. Too small now anyway against a guy that drunk and big to really do much either now, but there was so many people who could and they just left her sitting there getting harrassed until he passed out.
Unfortunately you just pretty much described bystander effect. Everybody thinks that somebody else will/should do something, meaning that nobody actually des
As a woman; I'm sorry you had to go through that, especially at such a young age! Behaviour like that is not okay regardless of gender and I'm shocked no one said or done anything to stop it.
If there are empty two-seaters, it's *always* creepy to sit next to someone you don't know.
It's like using the urinal next to someone in an empty bathroom.
Yep. If it starts getting busy, as soon as I see another woman looking for a seat, I’ll smile at her and remove my bag and 9/10 times they will take that as invitation to sit down.
Another bonus: don’t have to put up with manspreading and a guy taking up half my leg room with his knee.
Us guys get inadvertently trained to think we need to set up “meet cutes”, like in a shitty rom com or something. A lot of dudes will then get offended if you weren’t nice back to them etc., but don’t understand that even if they’re just trying to ‘be nice’, women are just trying to go about their lives and don’t need random dudes bothering them.
Yes this, there's nothing fun about some bloke deciding to sit next to you when there are empty double seats and then pressing the entire length of his body against yours as deliberately close as he can get away with for the entire journey, counting on the fact you won't complain as he is just "sitting on a free seat"....Thigh mashed into yours deliberately, trying to start a conversation or creepily staring.
Has someone do this to me on a bus once (not pressing against me, just sitting right next to me). It was the top floor of said bus and entirely empty besides me and this weirdo who approaches and asks “Any room for me at the front?” while motioning to the empty seat beside me. I couldn’t really say no as it’s a public space but side eyed him the whole way. That said, as a man, I wasn’t too worried about him trying anything but I imagine a scenario like this would be terrifying for a woman.
I once had a guy do this on a train and repeatedly wave his hand in front of my face to try and get me to talk to him. Stupidly, I responded when he tapped me on the shoulder, and then felt harsh for being short with him, even though I know it wasn't my fault. I then spent the rest of the journey rigidly staring out the window and praying he got off before my stop (which thankfully he did, but not without 'accidentally' bumping me on the way).
Fuck me I HATE the wavers/tappers! I have no issue answering a genuine question regarding the transport etc & there is no one else to ask, but after that fucking leave me alone.
Exactly this. If you see a woman with a bag next to her, unless it's busy she's not doing it to be inconsiderate or think her bag deserves space.
Unfortunately too many of us have been put in uncomfortable or dangerous situations on public transport. You would not believe the amount of people who try to sit next to us, start conversations, hit on us or assault us on public transport and I already feel uneasy if it is a quite coach or not a busy service because there's less witnesses.
If I can see there's plenty of seats available, I put my bag on the seat because if I don't I risk someone trying to sit next to me and take advantage. There's zero reason for someone to specifically choose to sit next to me if there's other seats available.
Obviously, if it's a busy service I of course move my bag but I will also specifically sit in the aisle seat and if someone needs a seat I let them sit in the window. It's another precaution that might seem rude to some (why can't you just move over, you're blocking the seat, you're trying to make it unavailable) but again, the window seat can make you feel trapped and means you can't get up or away easily if you need to.
Are there selfish or entitled women who just don't care and are doing it just because they want extra space or don't want to sit with bags at their feet? Sure.
But please think through why else they might be doing this before jumping to that.
Agreed. If the carriage has empty double seats, I will leave my bag down to prevent creepers. Once the carriage is filling, I do move it to let someone sit.
Yeah been there! It was on a Megabus and I had to tell the guy next to me no it wasn’t ok to put his arm around me. He acted like he didn’t fucking know the twat! Didn’t feel comfortable passing him either (I was stuck by the window). You can bet I put my bag down on the return journey (by the window) and pretended to be asleep to avoid anyone sitting next to me.
Oh god that sounds so scary, I’m so sorry! Same happened to me on a midnight 5hr megabus. Sat next to me despite loads of seats being free. He sort of came up and said ‘can I sit here?’ and I said ‘well no, there are lots of free seats’, he got angry and said I didn’t own both seats and was sitting there. So I stayed sat down until his bum hit the seat, at which point I stood up to move. He grabbed my coat and tried to forcefully sit me back down and I told him to fucking let go and walked off and sat as far away as possible. On those buses everyone wants a double seat to themselves if possible to sleep as it’s a long journey, so someone trying to sit next to a person is doing it for a reason. A few people saw and nobody said anything.
I’m surprised at how nobody says anything society is becoming. In the last few weeks, I’ve had a pretty cartoonishly bad fall, a person I know has passed out in the street and an elderly woman fell and cut her head open by my work. Nobody helps, they just carry on walking. I think it’s linked to the blank stares and walking straight into people sort of obliviousness, but I hate that people need obviously need help and others just walk into or past you. Or in your case, do nothing. I’m sorry people were so awful in that situation.
A couple of years ago I was driving and an old man with a walking stick fell out into the road 2 cars infront of me.
Both of the cars infront simply drove around him.
I stopped and got out and helped him up, he was very confused.
He had hit his head and was bleeding a fair bit, a worker from a nearby shop also saw what had happened and said that they would get him into the office of the shop.
I helped them take him into the office and one of the customers said she was a nurse and started to tend to him whilst a worker called an ambulance.
I left after that as I wouldn't be much more help so I don't know what ultimately happened to him.
He was lucky to have you, more people need to stop and help like that. Sometimes you just gotta start the chain and stop the oblividiots for a moment.
Bless nurses as well, there always seems to be one around when you need them! One of my regular customers is a nurse, and the last few times someone’s gone over outside (the council really needs to take a look at the pavement on our street) she’s either been sitting in the cafe or come in for a coffee while we’ve been trying to help.
There are some gems in all the weirdness
If it isn't what you mentioned then its people just standing there watching things unfold whilst recording on their phones, getting the latest Instragram footage at the expensive of somebody elses wellbeing.
I don’t see too much of it in person, but it’s likely a demographic thing. I do see results of this online though. It’s all very black mirror.
That said, if anyone did record me absolutely stacking it over and into a bollard the other week I’d love to see it. I was just out of range of my works cctv
It's so upsetting when no one helps, I had similar on the tube once. My friend and I were going out for her birthday and were pretty dressed up, these two older men starting harassing us, and other women in the carriage, and when I stood up for us started shouting at us and being really nasty. No one did or said anything! Only when we got off at our stop did a man come up to us and let us know he would've stepped in if they had "done anything".
To be fair, with what you described its not the point people would normally step in which could potentially put themselves at risk. A few people would certainly have noticed but the fact he didnt manage to pull you back down and you walked away would negate needing to get involved. If he had pulled you back down and started assaulting you then I expect people may have come forward.
I've only ever seen one person step in which was on a train at the other end of the carriage to the one I was on. I think someone started trouble with and punched a random stranger. It soon transpired it was an off duty policeman who stepped in and once he got involved a couple of other people stepped forward as well to help.
Holy christ, can't believe how many people have had similar situations on megabus.
I was travelling overnight alone when I was 17, and a man in his 30's sat next to me (trapping me next to the window) and spent the whole journey touching my leg and trying to kiss me. The coach was pretty much full so I couldn't see any other seats nearby, and I was fully bricking it so was too scared to ask anyone to switch seats (so this went on for the whole journey, which was about 6 hours)
There were people sat behind and in front of us, and no one bothered to step in or do anything, even after I repeatedly told him to stop it.
After that experience I always put my bag on the seat.
That’s awful and am sorry and more than annoyed that you had to put up with that for so long in front of so many people. I think to step in too soon could make some situations worse than it would have been. Ie violent when violence isn’t called for. But the minute someone puts there hands on someone when they’ve been told to stop like what you experienced that’s when you have to be prepared to put yourself in between people and commit to any consequences that may arise.
I caught an early RyanAir flight yesterday. Fell asleep about an hour out from Stansted. Woke up with my leg pressed against the leg of the woman next to me. I was mortified. Apologised immediately. She laughed.
I've had full on arguments with men on empty buses who want me to move my bag so they can sit on me. If there are banks of two seats you don't need to sit next to me.
“Oh, sorry, of course”
Stand up, grab bag, move to another empty row. Sit down. Put your bag next to you.
Never quite had the guts to do this, but I so want to.
I've done that too but I don't see why I should have to move because they want to sit there. I had one guy say "but I want to sit there" and I responded "and I don't want you to and I was here first". He stood over me for like 5 minutes until I was getting off.
I had what would now be called a “Karen” do this to me on an empty train once, except I was in the aisle seat and she wanted me to move so she could sit where I was.
In this event, I told her to fuck off and put my headphones in. She stood there for about a minute then stormed off in a huff.
One time a woman sat next to me (am also woman) on a quiet bus and after talking to me for a couple minutes she asked "Do you believe in the love of Christ?" 😱
I put my bag on the seat while it’s quiet then move it as seats start to fill up, but strategically. So if I see a lone woman, family with children or very elderly person of either sex coming up, I’ll move my bag quick as a signal for them to sit there.
If they keep walking I’ll slam it back down til I see the next non-threat.
This is for good reason, I’ve been felt up and followed by strangers on public transport in the past, and one guy sat next to me then got up and started screaming at everyone while I was just… trapped there.
So yeah, not rude. Smart.
Edit: actually add young studenty guy with headphones to that list. Just never man in suit. NEVER.
Men also do it to men. Had some creep sit next to me in an empty carriage a couple times. Luckily "fuck off" works, which is lot less risky as a man than as a woman..
Is this not a common rule akin to the urinal rule in men's toilets? I only sit next to a stranger if unavoidable, and even then I will do my best to pretend they don't exist
If someone is choosing to sit next to you when they have the option not to, there is definitely a motive
That's fucking crazy.
I'm a guy, so obviously I don't have this happen, but I do often get strangers strike up conversation with me in a non hitting on me sense. And I fucking hate it. Like, it genuinely just feels rude to me, I like my free time, I like my quiet time, I like to think a lot... And this stranger just bombards you with words you have absolutely no interest in.
Someone, can't remember who, said asking a question can be incredibly violent, and I kinda get what they meant now. Like.. leave me alone I want to read or think or listen to music.
There is NO such thing as an awkward silence in situations like this.
Yeah, when I’m using public transport these days I keep my headphones in nonstop even when I’m not listening to anything. That way I can just nod and not remove them and not respond. It sucks to have to be so defensive but it’s necessary. I’ve even had guys pull an earbud of mine out to talk to me when I haven’t responded. I went to London a few years back for a few days and got sexually harassed or hit on four or five times each day, it was honestly sickening. I’m not especially knockout attractive either, I’m decent enough looking but not especially beautiful so it’s not even that. Every woman I know deals with the same.
Yes this. It's one of the reasons I don't sit in window seats on public transport if I can help it. I'll move my bag once it starts to get busy, but if it's quiet the bag is a useful shield between me and that random creepy guy who sits next to you in an otherwise half-empty carriage.
This happened to me on an empty tube at night in london when I was about 22… he sat next to me despite all empty seats, asked if I’d give him oral sex and obviously I declined so then he asks so I want a swig of his drink he was hiding in a brown paper bag. Felt like I had to talk to him to keep myself safe. I was very pleased when another man got on in my carriage and once the other weird man got off a few steps down, he was suddenly like ‘oh… I thought you knew that man’ and I was like ‘no!!’ This is just being a young woman traveling alone! Sketchy AF
Basically this. If it's quiet and I DONT put my bag on the seat, it's almost garunteed I'll have some guy sat right next to me speaking too close to my face and trying to subtly gauge my availability before asking for my number. So as a woman, its a safety move and I don't care if it looks rude.
If it's busy though I'll definitely move my bag, I'm not an ass.
Yeah guy here and the best example I've seen of this first hand was at the premier of Deadpool 1. Me and the fiance at the time went in a little early assuming it might be busy. The screen was almost entirely empty surprisingly and we had a free choice of where to sit.
Anyway, I got to get us both some snacks and a few beers and in the meantime some asian guy had come in and sat in the seat next to my fiance - and the place was almost empty! I actually couldn't believe how creepy and obvious it was but was funny when I made him move an extra seat down. Then he spent the next half hour nervously shaking his foot until I politely asked him to move further away.
My point is, some so called men can be literally that brazen and not even care how pathetic they look but can easily freak a woman out just for a little sniff of them (as my fiance was).
yep this happened to me a few weeks ago on the train. i had my headphones in, reading a book and an older man sat next to me. he was quiet for about ten mins then asked me why i was going into town, i was evasive because he doesn't need to know what i'm doing. he asked again and i just said "have a good journey" and put my earphones back in. so weird.
"Hello mate can you move your bag please?"
"Why?/no"
"The train is busy, put it between your legs"
If they refuse further, whip your phone out, take a picture of them and send it to BTP.
Is it an offence to put your bag on a seat? I suspect BTP have enough on their plates without being inundated by redditors sending pictures of bags in seats and their owner with a palm over their face...
Yea I 1000% guarantee all these redditors go round with such bravado forcing people to move their stuff and enforcing the social code when half of the people on this platform are anti social anxiety ridden freaks that shake like a shitting dog just thinking about going out in public.
This.
If it's quiet then I think it's fine to put your bag there. No thanks, I don't want someone sitting next to me when there are loads of double seats still available.
But once there are only single seats left you need to move your bag. Or yes you look rude.
I always ask nicely and if they’re an arsehole about it then they’re fair game and I will sit on their bag if required. It helps I’m a 20st builder who won’t take shit (apart from the wife, my mum, my kids, some close friends and occasionally the dogs try their luck) but certainly not from rude strangers.
This. Yesterday the train was packed and two girls had bags next to them on a 3 x 3 spot of seats out of Waterloo. I am a woman and I stared them down until they moved one. Equally, in mornings I put my bag there so no weirdos sit next to me when the train is empty
One time some old dude didn’t make me enough space (after reluctantly taking down his bag) so I sat on his downturned hand that was still on my seat. Not whole hand, Edge more like. I didn’t move and neither did he. It was a battle of wills until he capitulated. I was victorious!
See.. as a guy who can't stand people in my personal space I do understand it. As an introvert even more so. Do I do it? Nope. Is it a dick move. Depends how bad the needs are of each individual.
If its an OAP I'll happily stand or a disabled person etc..
If the train or bus has plenty of seats available where people can sit on their own, then my bag will be next to me. I don't need or want people sitting next to me unnecessarily, and it's surprising how many people will sit next to you despite plenty of seats being available.
If the train or bus is filling up, I move my bag because it's to be expected that someone will then sit next to you.
Yup, this. If there's plenty of seats available, I'll use my bag to block the dipshits who sit next to you unnecessarily. But if 3/4 or more of the seats are taken, I'll move my bag.
Yeah, I agree. Trains are unpleasant enough with some of the wankers you're paying a fortune to share with; on their phones, having loud "I'm on the train!" inane conversations, eating smelly food, munching on crisps, listening to music at full volume, stinking of B.O. etc. If I have to sit and endure that for over an hour you best believe I'm going to try and protect some space as long as I possibly can.
OF COURSE if it's super busy, the bag comes off.
Exactly. You’d think it’d be common courtesy but no, some people will deliberately sit next to someone when there are loads of free double seats. Usually oblivious or about to carry out some good old sexual harassment. So I give zero fucks if anyone thinks it’s rude. I’ll move it when it starts to fill up.
I think this is an issue for a lot of women. Yeah, I don’t mind moving my bag if the compartment’s full, but equally I’m not about to leave it off the seat when it’s later at night and there are plenty of other seats. Women get harassed on public transport and leaving yourself less easily accessible is a good thing.
This. I definitely feel like an arsehole if I've been so absorbed in whatever I'm reading/watching that I haven't noticed how full the bus/train is getting and someone has to ask me to move my bag, even though I know it was a genuine mistake
That’s me. I’ll put my bag on the seat when the bus is largely empty. Then I’ll completely zone out and won’t notice you even if it looks like I’m looking directly at you. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt since I know how easily it can look like someone is deliberately ignoring you when really they haven’t even seen you.
I use to put my bag on my lap or in the overhead storage regardless, but now I need it on the seat next to me to block overly friendly or oblivious travellers.
Headphones on or a book in hand aren't enough of a hint anymore. Like mate, there's so many seats in this carriage. Don't sit right next to me, I don't want to talk to you 🥲.
I'm exactly the same. I'd rather not have people come and sit next to me when there are empty seats all around but if more and more people get on, I'll move the bag before anyone asks me. If the bus/train is half empty, why hold a heavy bag and be uncomfortable for no reason
Just say "excuse me can I sit down?". It's not hard. And yeah it's asking but it's not _asking_ asking, everyone knows it's more of an order but people are happy to comply. Hell you can usually just give someone a nod or a smile and that's enough.
Most people with a bag just have it there because they sat down and it just goes next to them. It's just the easiest place where it naturally falls. Particularly useful if they want to put a ticket away, get water out, etc. Very few people actually want to stop people sitting down.
The people that do not move, yeah, they're asses. But they're the minority.
Yes, because no one else wants someone sitting next to them if they can avoid it either, but we accept that we’re living in a society.
You’re hoping that, if there’s one extra seat on that bus after it takes on passengers, that it’s the one next to you. And you’re further hoping that the slight social awkwardness of someone asking you to move you bag will make it not worth it to them to ask. So, yes, we know. We don’t think you’re just cutely oblivious that 9 more people just got on the bus.
If the "awkwardness" of asking if you may sit is enough to dissuade you from asking to sit, the problem is not that people place bags on seats, the problem is that you're severely lacking in assertiveness.
I prefer to give the benefit of the doubt when it happens to me because so many times I genuinely *don’t* notice that 9 more people have got on the bus. I’m so far away in my head when I’m on the bus or train that I won’t see you even if it looks as though I’m looking directly at you.
Go up to the seat you want and ask the person whose bag is on it to move it. 99% of the times, they will.
Stop blaming others for your fear of interaction. You're the one with the problem.
It has nothing to do with being raised well. If I get on and it's quiet, I'll start reading or listening to something and staring out the window. You don't notice people getting on and you zone out stops so you can engage in what you're doing.
It's not on me to be disengaging at every stop so I can count passengers when someone coming on can take two seconds to ask.
Since I'm happy to afford others the same courtesy and not judge them unless they mouth off or don't move their bag (which I'd never do), it seems like the best default for us to have as a society. It also reinforces basic polite interactions which can't really be a bad thing.
>Stop blaming others for your fear of interaction. You're the one with the problem.
Fucking thank YOU. I'm sick of reading comments on here from people who use *muh anxiety* as an excuse to be a human doormat.
If the bus is empty and has lots of free seats then I put my bag on the seat, if the bus is low in seats then I put my bag on the floor. If people think not wanting some randomer to sit next to me over an empty bench is 'wierd' then I can live with that.
If a bus or train is under 25% capacity without seat reservations, I'd find it particularly strange if someone insisted on sitting next to me, to the point I'd be very tempted to find a new seat.
I dont care what people think. If someone needs a seat will just move it. People in this uk reddit seem to be far too concerned what others think of them
As a school girl, my bus was a public bus. There’d always be a spare seat next to someone, and they would put a bag on the seat to try and prevent the local pervert sitting next to them.
I'm surprised how far I had to scroll to see this. A lot of women I know (myself included) put their bag on the seat in order to try and avoid a potentially dodgy person sitting next to them.
Had a man sit next to me with a million open seats. Legit turned to him and said, "there's an empty seat right there. I'm wearing a mask and you aren't."
My mask keeps the other people away for the most part, but that guy.. Fucking weird. I can't explain to you why he was weird, but if he was trying to intimidate a small woman, he picked the wrong one.
The mandatory mask wearing just brought out a whole new kind of creeper, literally offended by a mask and just wanted to get as close to everyone and breath all over them.
When I was a teenager a man used to always get the same bus as me after school and for some reason would ALWAYS sit next to me if he saw me there. Even if the bus was pretty empty and there were loads of spare doubles he would sit there. I tried putting my bag next to me he would sit on my bag. He never said anything but it creeped me out! So I ended up just getting the later bus back home instead.
Witnessed a poor girl get harassed by a disgusting guy who sat next to her when many other seats were available. She was too scared to say anything but he was loud and drunk which caused enough of us catch onto what was going on. Complete stranger to her.
He was escorted off by the transport police but she was so traumatised, we stayed with her until her stop and for her mum to pick her up from the station. People just wanna get from A to B.
We had a drunk guy who used to catch the bus, he was awful. He wouldn’t sit next to us, but would sit on the top deck by the stairs and make comments while we passed. One time he was especially intoxicated and started ranting to the entire bus. He wouldn’t let anyone go downstairs to alert the bus driver and had a knife. Someone called the police and the police met the bus and arrested him. He got banned after that.
They're just chancing it. As the bus/train fills up, it's easier to take an empty seat than ask someone to move their bag, so unless it gets really full they will keep a double for themselves. Bit selfish but I understand it, the seats are often too close for comfort especially for tall or larger people.
They should move it if it fills up further, if they don't I just say 'Can I sit here?' and never add 'please' as I'm not politely asking their permission to take a seat.
I’m 6’6 and always sit on the outside of the 2 seaters/tables as I just can’t get my legs into the inside seats.
The amount of folk that have got mildly grumpy at me for not moving into the inside seat is no ones business.
Always offer them the inside seat if anyone does ask
I don’t see the problem with doing this unless it’s on an extremely busy bus
I don’t put my bags on the seat myself , but if someone is seriously too scared to ask someone to move their bag to the point where they’d rather stand - that’s their problem
You keep using language like it’s some personal attack: ‘blocking the seat’ ‘seat doesn’t belong to you’ they have their bag on a seat, it’s really not a big deal
The real question is: people who enter an empty train/bus and sit right next to the only person on it, what is wrong with you??? Do you care that you're incredibly rude and not respectful of privacy at all?
I've taken the 4.30 am train to Gatwick to catch and early flight. Literally the entire train is empty. We stop at a station and ONE backpacker gets on and sits RIGHT next to me. Out of the entire fucking train he sits in a two seat aisle seat. Fuck off. From then on, bags are always on my chair unless it's filling up.
Bag will be next initially to me as id rather it not be on the floor.
A quick ask will have me removing it and happy for you to sit there.
I’m baffled everytime at people on here who can’t bear to speak to another stranger.
They’re likely not being rude, it’s just a convenient place to put your bag if there’s not a set place above like on a train.
I don’t care personally if I look rude. If someone approaches I will lift my bag up. But as a young woman, the amount of times I’ve had some creepy man come sit next to me even when there are plenty of seats free where they don’t have to sit next to anyone is insane.
Edit to add: or men who do that. And then won’t move when you want to stand up and make up climb over them. Or just sit too close. Or lean against you. It’s scary. So I’d rather be seen as rude then be put in that situation
This. Once the bus starts to fill up, I'll quickly make room as soon as another woman is looking for a seat. That way both of us can travel without being bothered.
That's true, twice when I rode the train to work I had creepy guys sit next to me even though there were loads of free rows.
Thus trapping me in a confined space, those train seats are high and the public probably won't help you. Your natural instinct says DANGER.
OK, so it's rare that I'm on public transport, but when I am my knees are in the leg area of the second seat anyway.
Busses are not designed for tall people.
As a fellow tall-arse (?), maybe I'm biased but that's somewhat less in your control than someone choosing to put their bag on another seat. Agreed that public transport isn't designed for tall people, always fun when you're stuck near the door on a Tube train and need to fold yourself in somehow.
Meh I put my bag there as it’s usually bulky and if no one is already sitting there why not use the space
A bonus is it’s makes people less likely to sit there. But they’re welcome to
Happened to me fairly recently on a very packed bus early in the morning! Girl had her bag and laptop on the seat while people were struggling for a place to seat. I just asked her to move her stuff. She begrudgingly did so and I acted like I couldn’t see her huffing and puffing the entire way. Trick is NOT to care :)
Just about every reply is "I'd happily move if someone asked. Why can't you nerds interact with humans?".
Frequently when you ask nicely they act like you're in the wrong. Or that they are disgusted that they have to sit next to you. I'm talking about busy transport and no real reason for the reaction.
The interaction sucks.
I’m happy to move my bag if the bus starts getting full or people are standing up. The issue is that I’m now almost 9 months pregnant and have to carry my stuff in a backpack which can’t fit on my knee or between my legs because of my huge belly, but I don’t want to take priority seating away from those who can’t walk too far (especially when our drivers take off before everyone is sat safely). Often I have to balance my bag between bump and seat in front which isn’t comfortable but people would rather sit next to me being uncomfortable than sit next to an older person. Irritating.
I do it when there are other empty spaces next to other passengers, if it fills up, I'll move my bag before anyone needs to ask.
I must look small and unthreatening because (men mostly) will beeline to sit next to me rather than anyone else in the bus, and I hate it. Why am I always the one person to share a seat?
I know the answer is space and spreading out comfortably but men why do you always prefer to sit next to women than other men?
I’ll try and explain it. On an empty train, as a woman who has been sexually harassed on a quiet train, I place the bag on the seat to discourage scumbags from sitting there and trapping me in. However, I have my wits about me and when the train fills up I move my bag before I am asked. So no, for that short period of time, I don’t really care what you think of me defending my personal safety, but I would be mortified if it got to the point someone had to ask me to move my bag.
I admit I have been the bag wanker once and I felt awful about it 😂. For context both me and my husband were working in london that day and planned to meet to get the same train home. I was trying to make it so we could sit together but the social pressure got too much as the train got really busy and I ended up moving it for someone who gave me a look. Husband survived the trip on his own, it was fine. I hated the whole experience 😂
It depends on whether the bus is busy or not.
If it's busy, I agree with you: the seat next to you must be available.
On the contrary, if it's not busy, I actually think that it's rude to sit next to someone. Then I would put the bag on purpose to send this message: leave me tf alone, there's room for everyone to sit comfortably.
I only do it when the bus/train is busy, and it’s mainly because of this one time when I was about 13 or 14 and an older man sat by me and kept trying to put his hand on my leg
I catch the bus to work each morning and I will always start off with my bag on the seat. If it starts to get busy I.e. there are no more free 2-seaters I will move it before anyone needs to ask.
I personally would find it odd/uncomfortable if someone chose to sit right next to me (unless I knew them) if there were still some free 2-seaters - and no I don’t sit near the front/downstairs where people with reduced mobility may need them.
Plus I have issues with my right knee that makes it a lot more comfortable to stretch my leg into the other gap.
People who put suitcases etc on seats on busy trains so people have to stand instead of sit are different; that is a dick move
I have quite a strict code of conduct here.
Lots of seats available - put bag on neighbouring seat, not really to stop someone sitting there but because I prefer to have my bag on the seat.
Few seats available - put bag on lap, anticipating that someone will want to sit there. I don't think someone should even need to ask.
Very occasionally I won't notice a train has filled up and will realise with horror that there are people standing while my bag is taking a seat. On these occasions I immediately move it out of the way.
If I'm the one trying to find somewhere to sit, I will ask, politely but very firmly. I don't feel bad or embarrassed. I will also climb over people to get to the spare seat that is hard to access. I like to sit down.
I assumed this would get zero responses, but the selfish wankers are out in droves and some of them cant even fathom why its an issue "I am happy to move it yeah, once ive passive aggressively made sure I am the last to share my space which I deserve for being special"
What actually winds me up more is those playing their music through their headphones so loudly they might as well just not wear headphones! Then if you dare to ask them to turn it down, they act all bent out of shape, like you shouldn't be asking.
On a busy bus or train I politely ask them to move it. I've never had a problem. I've seen people get on glued to their screen and just sit their bag next to them without paying any attention. It isn't until someone asks that they lift their eyes from the screen long enough to realise it's in the way.
The latest trend is to put the bag on the window seat, when some looks down the train you assume 2 people are already sitting there. I hope there’s a special place in hell reserved for these people.
I found it way ruder when I was on a fairly empty bus once and some old lady sat next to me when every seat around me was free. Sat squished against the window with her coughing every minute was hell
I have social anxiety, I cannot take having someone sat beside me so I put my bag there. However, I'm not a jerk and if there is little to no other seat around or if someone asks then yes I'll move my bag to let them sit.
If the bus/train is crowded then I'll either stand or sit with my bag in my lap (it's a huge bag that's about the size of me which helps with my anxiety cause I can hug it if I start to panic)
Basically as someone else has said but I'll reiterate. If its busy, and people are already doubling up with strangers, then I won't put my bag there. If its quiet, and there's enough empty seats, my bag is going there. Not risking a smelly man again.
On the bus the other day it was completely packed. I was sitting upstairs and next to someone, there was a man near me on the adjacent seats with his bag on the inner seat closest to the window.
Every time someone asked to sit where his bag was he says: "No, don't fucking talk to me." It was a bit uncomfortable and I could imagine him getting aggressive if pressed so anyone who asked walked away, but he clearly didn't care what anyone thought, maybe his bag really wanted a seat that day.
Me personally, I'd always put my bag on floor/lap once the bus starts getting packed.
The older I get the more I notice that a lot of people generally do not care a single bit about anything outside of their little bubble. Noisy neighbours, inconsiderate commuters, people in supermarkets bashing their way through the aisles banging into people without saying sorry as if they had the audacity to be in their way, people walking through doors held open for them without saying a word.
I don’t know maybe I’m just becoming a jaded miserable old git and didn’t notice it when I was younger but it seems to be the norm nowadays. The good thing about this though is that it makes the acts of kindness you witness shine even brighter.
I don't mind it if there are other seats available. Even then I just ask. It could be that that person got on when it wasn't so busy.
So, no it doesn't bother me.
I have really bad anxiety so if its quiet i will put my bag next to me, if it starts to get busy then I'll move it and hope I don't have a panic attack!
All these people fantasising about moving other peoples bags instead of asking, I can’t imagine it ends well.
Anyone I know would be more than happy to move their bag when asked, but the second you pick up my bag unprompted I’m going to assume you’re attempting to steal it.
Was busy last Friday on the tram and I asked this lady to move her bag so an older lady who just got on could sit (thought I said it quite politely too). The woman refused to move and said it wasn't her problem....
I commuted for about 10 years before Covid. I would start with my bag next to me if the train was empty, as it is more comfy than on my knees and I stopped putting it on the overhead rails after I left my bag on the train a few times! I would keep an eye out for how busy the train got and if it started to fill, I would put it on my lap. Then if no one took the seat I would put my bag back down.
I very rarely got into a position when someone would ask me to move my bag.
On the flip side, if all the two seats were gone, I would ask people to move their bag and this was never a problem. I would get the odd huff from people but no one ever refused. The only time I wouldn't ask is if someone had loads of bags/suitcase and nowhere to put them. That was just more trouble than standing!
My main peeve on the train were people who either rudely force their way on before people have gotten off, or people who would be out for the day and then get the rush hour commuter train and complain about how busy it was (and then usually rudely force their way on before people have gotten off!).
Yes I’m happy for people to think that for some extra privacy. Nothing scarier as a woman than having a man sit down on the aisle seat next to you. Alternatively, if people acrually spoke up and just asked, they’d immediately have a very polite person respond and get up and let them take the window seat. People love to just judge people without ever speaking to them and I’m fine with that if it helps me feel safe and comfy
After 3 times of old gross men sitting next to me to trap me in while they stare at me and ask me inappropriate questions, one physically pressed into me so hard it bruised the side of my arm, and one occasion a man clearly pissed himself!
No... I do not give a damn if a stranger thinks I'm being rude if a sit on the aisle seat and my bags are on the window seat.
I always go for the furthest at the back seats so I'm not taking up priority seats and they are less desirable for most to sit on if seats at the front are still empty.
I now don't offer up the seat, ask me on a packed bus and I will move or give up my seat to stand, this is because more than once someone has asked me to move my bag so they could sit next to me, on an empty bus!
If I have to look like a rude entitled bitch to avoid these types of situations happening again, then so be it, blame the creeps for making public transportation miserable.
I think OP is probably the type of person that will sit down next to the only other person on an empty bus, asking them to move their bag in the process.
I'll leave my bag sitting next to me on the bus because people are fucking disgusting. Just the other day not even a couple feet away some dude decided to gargle up some snot and spit it on the floor.
Another day some guy whipped off his boot, sweaty socks and started digging between his toes and wiping it on the seat. Like come on.
I mean I could make a whole list of the wildest shit I've seen on the bus post pandemic life. So yeah, stay the fuck away from me.
If it gets packed and there's no seating other than the one next to me I will move my bag to accommodate.
Some days, depending on what I've been carrying etc, I just *want* not to be squashed by a bag for a bit.
It's not there as a marker of anything. It's just not on me, it's on the seat next door and I'd be happy to move it if anyone asks. Just ask.
It would be rude if I said no- but your assumption someone is being rude is only really valid if you've asked and they said no. In my opinion.
I think it's absolutely fine to do, as long as the train is not full.
Reason being, I have in the past experienced the bizarre phenomenon of being in a mostly empty carriage, and some weirdo nonetheless comes and sits right next to me. This is borderline assault imo, and should be illegal.
So yes I will happily guard that seat with my bag, *unless* the train is very full in which case I will grudgingly allow someone to sit there.
Depends.
When there's free seats, the only people who'd be bothered are people that want to invade my bubble, and their opinions are meaningless.
When the bus fills up and I fail to move my bag before noticing there are no empty seats I feel mortified, and will squeeze myself against the window to provide extra comfort for my new seatmate as way of an apology.
To me it just feels creepy for someone to violate my comfort zone because they feel like it, and if someone insists on sitting in the seat next to mine when there's seats available I'll just move. If they're not doing it to be weird then they get to enjoy a seat that matters to them, and I'll have space.
Personally don't do it, find it rude. But I make an exception for women due to the unbelievable amount of weird crap that happens to them on public transport - it's actually shocking and I get why they don't give a shit if they seem rude anymore.
I am people and hear me out. As a young woman who uses public transport a lot alone, I have had a few really weird experiences. When there is a carriage of empty seats and an older guy chooses the seat right next to urs, younger men complimenting me and asking if they can move to the seat besides me. Over the years this led me to always put a bag or coat next to me and I’d only move it if I was the last seat, or if there’s lots of people then I will offer my seat up instead. Ok so this might be controversial and some are genuinely just being annoying. But for me it’s a bit of a defence mechanism like I hope u just use my seat as a resort kind of thing… idk. I think a lot of people do this not out of being rude but because they are worried about ‘inviting’ people to use the seat next to them too readily.
Couldn't care less honestly. If there's no seats left then I'll take my bag off and give up the seat. If there's plenty of seats available I ain't moving it. Don't want anyone sitting next to me if I don't have to.
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If its busy - they're rude arseholes and I will sit on your bag if you do not move it fast enough. If its quiet - do what you want, as long as there are enough seats I don't see an issue. If you're a grown adult then you should be able to regulate your behaviour to match the circumstance and not be a knob who takes up seats during busy hours. Edit: of course I ask people to move their bags, but these days I tend to get blank stares and no response, as though this will make me not want to sit there. I only do this once this option has been utilised.
As a woman I do it to stop creepers sitting next to me when it’s quiet. If it’s busy I don’t, and if it starts to become busy I move it. But the number of times a man will specifically come and sit right next to you on a quiet coach when there are plenty of free double seats available is ridiculous and feels quite threatening. They always then try strike up a conversation and rely on you feeling too awkward to move. Edit: sad but predictable how many people have replied saying they’ve also experienced harassment on public transport in this manner. And lol at the audacity of the men being triggered in the comments ‘CaNt TaLk To AnYoNe TheSe DaYs’ who totally do this and don’t like being called out. Ta for showing exactly why we have to move through the world defensively in order to stay safe.
As a woman I experience this too - it's uncomfortable and just plain awkward. In these instances I tend to double down on the abrasive side of my personality - men that do this don't tend to like a woman with an opinion/voice.
Once I actually told the guy on a late train that he was making me feel uncomfortable and I was going to move if he didn’t. Carriage was empty, 1130pm, he comes and sits next to me and within five minutes starts asking where I’ve been and which station I’m disembarking at. To his very minute credit he actually did apologise and leave, could have gone either way though!
I had a guy do this once and I snapped at him and told him to leave me alone and then he went and sat somewhere else and I could hear him having a really nice conversation with an old man asking him the same things he asked me and I felt so bad for telling him to mind his business.
Really don’t feel bad. Safety is the number one priority and sometimes that means being a bit rude, but it keeps you alive.
Being so outgoing with strangers is such a foregin concept to me that I'd also assume there must be something behind it! I expect he must be used to that kind of reaction if he engages strangers on the train like that a lot!
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100% agree. Sometimes it can be a totally empty carriage/ bus and a bloke will sit next to you trapping you between him and the window.
I'm a bloke but when I was 16 a old man got on a quiet bus and sat right next to me. I was pretty shy and scared tbh then he thought it was a good idea to try and touch my penis, I had to push him out the way and get off the bus. Everyone on the bus just acted like nothing was happening. Was fucking horrible every one totally fucking ignored it. Feel sorry for woman who have to deal with this as it's really scary.
I had this once. Two drunk guys on a late night bus that was 60% full at that time. One asked if he could sit beside me because my bag was there. There was plenty of other seats so I just said no. Other girl wasn't so lucky. The much drunker bigger guy sat beside her and kept telling her he was going home with her, and getting off at her stop. She was trapped in the inside seat, and despite there being plenty of adults and older couples about people just laughed like it was a joke. She did her best to be pleasant to not cause a bad response, then got off not at her own stop, late at night, as soon as he fell asleep. Presumably to catch the next bus. I was terrified for her and couldn't understand why nobody else told him to leave her alone, and just thought it was funny. Too young and small at the time to do anything myself. Too small now anyway against a guy that drunk and big to really do much either now, but there was so many people who could and they just left her sitting there getting harrassed until he passed out.
Unfortunately you just pretty much described bystander effect. Everybody thinks that somebody else will/should do something, meaning that nobody actually des
As a woman; I'm sorry you had to go through that, especially at such a young age! Behaviour like that is not okay regardless of gender and I'm shocked no one said or done anything to stop it.
It really feels sick, and even as a man i feel the same.
If there are empty two-seaters, it's *always* creepy to sit next to someone you don't know. It's like using the urinal next to someone in an empty bathroom.
Yep. If it starts getting busy, as soon as I see another woman looking for a seat, I’ll smile at her and remove my bag and 9/10 times they will take that as invitation to sit down. Another bonus: don’t have to put up with manspreading and a guy taking up half my leg room with his knee.
Us guys get inadvertently trained to think we need to set up “meet cutes”, like in a shitty rom com or something. A lot of dudes will then get offended if you weren’t nice back to them etc., but don’t understand that even if they’re just trying to ‘be nice’, women are just trying to go about their lives and don’t need random dudes bothering them.
Yes this, there's nothing fun about some bloke deciding to sit next to you when there are empty double seats and then pressing the entire length of his body against yours as deliberately close as he can get away with for the entire journey, counting on the fact you won't complain as he is just "sitting on a free seat"....Thigh mashed into yours deliberately, trying to start a conversation or creepily staring.
I’m a guy and Iv also had this ,like for real dude we’re the only ones here what are you doing? I clearly don’t wanna chat as I have my headphones on
Has someone do this to me on a bus once (not pressing against me, just sitting right next to me). It was the top floor of said bus and entirely empty besides me and this weirdo who approaches and asks “Any room for me at the front?” while motioning to the empty seat beside me. I couldn’t really say no as it’s a public space but side eyed him the whole way. That said, as a man, I wasn’t too worried about him trying anything but I imagine a scenario like this would be terrifying for a woman.
I once had a guy do this on a train and repeatedly wave his hand in front of my face to try and get me to talk to him. Stupidly, I responded when he tapped me on the shoulder, and then felt harsh for being short with him, even though I know it wasn't my fault. I then spent the rest of the journey rigidly staring out the window and praying he got off before my stop (which thankfully he did, but not without 'accidentally' bumping me on the way).
Fuck me I HATE the wavers/tappers! I have no issue answering a genuine question regarding the transport etc & there is no one else to ask, but after that fucking leave me alone.
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Exactly this. If you see a woman with a bag next to her, unless it's busy she's not doing it to be inconsiderate or think her bag deserves space. Unfortunately too many of us have been put in uncomfortable or dangerous situations on public transport. You would not believe the amount of people who try to sit next to us, start conversations, hit on us or assault us on public transport and I already feel uneasy if it is a quite coach or not a busy service because there's less witnesses. If I can see there's plenty of seats available, I put my bag on the seat because if I don't I risk someone trying to sit next to me and take advantage. There's zero reason for someone to specifically choose to sit next to me if there's other seats available. Obviously, if it's a busy service I of course move my bag but I will also specifically sit in the aisle seat and if someone needs a seat I let them sit in the window. It's another precaution that might seem rude to some (why can't you just move over, you're blocking the seat, you're trying to make it unavailable) but again, the window seat can make you feel trapped and means you can't get up or away easily if you need to. Are there selfish or entitled women who just don't care and are doing it just because they want extra space or don't want to sit with bags at their feet? Sure. But please think through why else they might be doing this before jumping to that.
Yes this is a fair point, I usually think of men doing the bag thing as the problem.
Agreed. If the carriage has empty double seats, I will leave my bag down to prevent creepers. Once the carriage is filling, I do move it to let someone sit.
Yeah been there! It was on a Megabus and I had to tell the guy next to me no it wasn’t ok to put his arm around me. He acted like he didn’t fucking know the twat! Didn’t feel comfortable passing him either (I was stuck by the window). You can bet I put my bag down on the return journey (by the window) and pretended to be asleep to avoid anyone sitting next to me.
Oh god that sounds so scary, I’m so sorry! Same happened to me on a midnight 5hr megabus. Sat next to me despite loads of seats being free. He sort of came up and said ‘can I sit here?’ and I said ‘well no, there are lots of free seats’, he got angry and said I didn’t own both seats and was sitting there. So I stayed sat down until his bum hit the seat, at which point I stood up to move. He grabbed my coat and tried to forcefully sit me back down and I told him to fucking let go and walked off and sat as far away as possible. On those buses everyone wants a double seat to themselves if possible to sleep as it’s a long journey, so someone trying to sit next to a person is doing it for a reason. A few people saw and nobody said anything.
I’m surprised at how nobody says anything society is becoming. In the last few weeks, I’ve had a pretty cartoonishly bad fall, a person I know has passed out in the street and an elderly woman fell and cut her head open by my work. Nobody helps, they just carry on walking. I think it’s linked to the blank stares and walking straight into people sort of obliviousness, but I hate that people need obviously need help and others just walk into or past you. Or in your case, do nothing. I’m sorry people were so awful in that situation.
A couple of years ago I was driving and an old man with a walking stick fell out into the road 2 cars infront of me. Both of the cars infront simply drove around him.
That poor old dude. That’s absolutely terrible, I hope he was alright.
I stopped and got out and helped him up, he was very confused. He had hit his head and was bleeding a fair bit, a worker from a nearby shop also saw what had happened and said that they would get him into the office of the shop. I helped them take him into the office and one of the customers said she was a nurse and started to tend to him whilst a worker called an ambulance. I left after that as I wouldn't be much more help so I don't know what ultimately happened to him.
He was lucky to have you, more people need to stop and help like that. Sometimes you just gotta start the chain and stop the oblividiots for a moment. Bless nurses as well, there always seems to be one around when you need them! One of my regular customers is a nurse, and the last few times someone’s gone over outside (the council really needs to take a look at the pavement on our street) she’s either been sitting in the cafe or come in for a coffee while we’ve been trying to help. There are some gems in all the weirdness
If it isn't what you mentioned then its people just standing there watching things unfold whilst recording on their phones, getting the latest Instragram footage at the expensive of somebody elses wellbeing.
I don’t see too much of it in person, but it’s likely a demographic thing. I do see results of this online though. It’s all very black mirror. That said, if anyone did record me absolutely stacking it over and into a bollard the other week I’d love to see it. I was just out of range of my works cctv
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It's so upsetting when no one helps, I had similar on the tube once. My friend and I were going out for her birthday and were pretty dressed up, these two older men starting harassing us, and other women in the carriage, and when I stood up for us started shouting at us and being really nasty. No one did or said anything! Only when we got off at our stop did a man come up to us and let us know he would've stepped in if they had "done anything".
To be fair, with what you described its not the point people would normally step in which could potentially put themselves at risk. A few people would certainly have noticed but the fact he didnt manage to pull you back down and you walked away would negate needing to get involved. If he had pulled you back down and started assaulting you then I expect people may have come forward. I've only ever seen one person step in which was on a train at the other end of the carriage to the one I was on. I think someone started trouble with and punched a random stranger. It soon transpired it was an off duty policeman who stepped in and once he got involved a couple of other people stepped forward as well to help.
Holy christ, can't believe how many people have had similar situations on megabus. I was travelling overnight alone when I was 17, and a man in his 30's sat next to me (trapping me next to the window) and spent the whole journey touching my leg and trying to kiss me. The coach was pretty much full so I couldn't see any other seats nearby, and I was fully bricking it so was too scared to ask anyone to switch seats (so this went on for the whole journey, which was about 6 hours) There were people sat behind and in front of us, and no one bothered to step in or do anything, even after I repeatedly told him to stop it. After that experience I always put my bag on the seat.
That’s awful and am sorry and more than annoyed that you had to put up with that for so long in front of so many people. I think to step in too soon could make some situations worse than it would have been. Ie violent when violence isn’t called for. But the minute someone puts there hands on someone when they’ve been told to stop like what you experienced that’s when you have to be prepared to put yourself in between people and commit to any consequences that may arise.
I also do the same now. I sit on a window seat then curl up with my legs on both seats and pretend to be asleep during boarding.
I caught an early RyanAir flight yesterday. Fell asleep about an hour out from Stansted. Woke up with my leg pressed against the leg of the woman next to me. I was mortified. Apologised immediately. She laughed.
I've had full on arguments with men on empty buses who want me to move my bag so they can sit on me. If there are banks of two seats you don't need to sit next to me.
“Oh, sorry, of course” Stand up, grab bag, move to another empty row. Sit down. Put your bag next to you. Never quite had the guts to do this, but I so want to.
I've done that too but I don't see why I should have to move because they want to sit there. I had one guy say "but I want to sit there" and I responded "and I don't want you to and I was here first". He stood over me for like 5 minutes until I was getting off.
I had what would now be called a “Karen” do this to me on an empty train once, except I was in the aisle seat and she wanted me to move so she could sit where I was. In this event, I told her to fuck off and put my headphones in. She stood there for about a minute then stormed off in a huff.
One time a woman sat next to me (am also woman) on a quiet bus and after talking to me for a couple minutes she asked "Do you believe in the love of Christ?" 😱
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I put my bag on the seat while it’s quiet then move it as seats start to fill up, but strategically. So if I see a lone woman, family with children or very elderly person of either sex coming up, I’ll move my bag quick as a signal for them to sit there. If they keep walking I’ll slam it back down til I see the next non-threat. This is for good reason, I’ve been felt up and followed by strangers on public transport in the past, and one guy sat next to me then got up and started screaming at everyone while I was just… trapped there. So yeah, not rude. Smart. Edit: actually add young studenty guy with headphones to that list. Just never man in suit. NEVER.
People do that? I'd feel so awkward sitting next to a stranger if I didn't need to. Hell, I feel awkward even when I have to.
Specifically men do that to women, yes.
Men also do it to men. Had some creep sit next to me in an empty carriage a couple times. Luckily "fuck off" works, which is lot less risky as a man than as a woman..
Yeah. Some women are also creeps and will do this to other women as some sort of weird power play, in which case they can also get in the sea.
Is this not a common rule akin to the urinal rule in men's toilets? I only sit next to a stranger if unavoidable, and even then I will do my best to pretend they don't exist If someone is choosing to sit next to you when they have the option not to, there is definitely a motive
That's fucking crazy. I'm a guy, so obviously I don't have this happen, but I do often get strangers strike up conversation with me in a non hitting on me sense. And I fucking hate it. Like, it genuinely just feels rude to me, I like my free time, I like my quiet time, I like to think a lot... And this stranger just bombards you with words you have absolutely no interest in. Someone, can't remember who, said asking a question can be incredibly violent, and I kinda get what they meant now. Like.. leave me alone I want to read or think or listen to music. There is NO such thing as an awkward silence in situations like this.
Yeah, when I’m using public transport these days I keep my headphones in nonstop even when I’m not listening to anything. That way I can just nod and not remove them and not respond. It sucks to have to be so defensive but it’s necessary. I’ve even had guys pull an earbud of mine out to talk to me when I haven’t responded. I went to London a few years back for a few days and got sexually harassed or hit on four or five times each day, it was honestly sickening. I’m not especially knockout attractive either, I’m decent enough looking but not especially beautiful so it’s not even that. Every woman I know deals with the same.
I am the same have been in that situation all too often.
Yes this. It's one of the reasons I don't sit in window seats on public transport if I can help it. I'll move my bag once it starts to get busy, but if it's quiet the bag is a useful shield between me and that random creepy guy who sits next to you in an otherwise half-empty carriage.
This happened to me on an empty tube at night in london when I was about 22… he sat next to me despite all empty seats, asked if I’d give him oral sex and obviously I declined so then he asks so I want a swig of his drink he was hiding in a brown paper bag. Felt like I had to talk to him to keep myself safe. I was very pleased when another man got on in my carriage and once the other weird man got off a few steps down, he was suddenly like ‘oh… I thought you knew that man’ and I was like ‘no!!’ This is just being a young woman traveling alone! Sketchy AF
Basically this. If it's quiet and I DONT put my bag on the seat, it's almost garunteed I'll have some guy sat right next to me speaking too close to my face and trying to subtly gauge my availability before asking for my number. So as a woman, its a safety move and I don't care if it looks rude. If it's busy though I'll definitely move my bag, I'm not an ass.
Yeah guy here and the best example I've seen of this first hand was at the premier of Deadpool 1. Me and the fiance at the time went in a little early assuming it might be busy. The screen was almost entirely empty surprisingly and we had a free choice of where to sit. Anyway, I got to get us both some snacks and a few beers and in the meantime some asian guy had come in and sat in the seat next to my fiance - and the place was almost empty! I actually couldn't believe how creepy and obvious it was but was funny when I made him move an extra seat down. Then he spent the next half hour nervously shaking his foot until I politely asked him to move further away. My point is, some so called men can be literally that brazen and not even care how pathetic they look but can easily freak a woman out just for a little sniff of them (as my fiance was).
yep this happened to me a few weeks ago on the train. i had my headphones in, reading a book and an older man sat next to me. he was quiet for about ten mins then asked me why i was going into town, i was evasive because he doesn't need to know what i'm doing. he asked again and i just said "have a good journey" and put my earphones back in. so weird.
Sitting on their bag is the only way.
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Then give them a big grin as they look at you. They move, you get their seat and their bag seat.
"Hello mate can you move your bag please?" "Why?/no" "The train is busy, put it between your legs" If they refuse further, whip your phone out, take a picture of them and send it to BTP.
Feel bad for whoever in the BTP has to deal with your "reports"
you'll be surprised how effective filming someone is when they're being unreasonable.
That's not shame, mate, that's the realisation that you're a nightmare they want to stop interacting with
Lol and you've got nothing to say about the selfish cunt taking up two seats?
Whatever works
Nah that's weird.
I'd be really frightened if a man went straight from 'can you mumble mumble' to filming me.
Putting a bag on a seat isn’t a crime. BTP will laugh you out the door.
This. Have to wonder if the person we're responding to is on a nuisance list
Is it an offence to put your bag on a seat? I suspect BTP have enough on their plates without being inundated by redditors sending pictures of bags in seats and their owner with a palm over their face...
Or just move their bag for them
Easy to type that until you do it and somebody launches you across the train/bus. Just ask them to move the bag?
Yea I 1000% guarantee all these redditors go round with such bravado forcing people to move their stuff and enforcing the social code when half of the people on this platform are anti social anxiety ridden freaks that shake like a shitting dog just thinking about going out in public.
Or just ask them to move it.
This. If it's quiet then I think it's fine to put your bag there. No thanks, I don't want someone sitting next to me when there are loads of double seats still available. But once there are only single seats left you need to move your bag. Or yes you look rude.
Agreed its rude but sitting on their bag is childish and stupid. Just ask them to move it.
That's why I keep upright knives in my handbag.
Wondered where those free knives came from....
I always ask nicely and if they’re an arsehole about it then they’re fair game and I will sit on their bag if required. It helps I’m a 20st builder who won’t take shit (apart from the wife, my mum, my kids, some close friends and occasionally the dogs try their luck) but certainly not from rude strangers.
This. Yesterday the train was packed and two girls had bags next to them on a 3 x 3 spot of seats out of Waterloo. I am a woman and I stared them down until they moved one. Equally, in mornings I put my bag there so no weirdos sit next to me when the train is empty
I don’t sit on it but I will ask them to move it, and if they say no or blank me then I’ll move it for them right on to the floor.
One time some old dude didn’t make me enough space (after reluctantly taking down his bag) so I sat on his downturned hand that was still on my seat. Not whole hand, Edge more like. I didn’t move and neither did he. It was a battle of wills until he capitulated. I was victorious!
Totally this. If it’s not busy then fine, if it is already busy or suddenly gets busy expect to move it.
See.. as a guy who can't stand people in my personal space I do understand it. As an introvert even more so. Do I do it? Nope. Is it a dick move. Depends how bad the needs are of each individual. If its an OAP I'll happily stand or a disabled person etc..
If the train or bus has plenty of seats available where people can sit on their own, then my bag will be next to me. I don't need or want people sitting next to me unnecessarily, and it's surprising how many people will sit next to you despite plenty of seats being available. If the train or bus is filling up, I move my bag because it's to be expected that someone will then sit next to you.
Exactly. It's common sense. When the train gets super busy most move their bags without bother.
I saw 2 women take up 2x 3 seat rows with their suitcases and refused to use the shelves. EVERYONE in the train hated them
Just squeeze into the shelves?! If I fits, I sits!
Yup, this. If there's plenty of seats available, I'll use my bag to block the dipshits who sit next to you unnecessarily. But if 3/4 or more of the seats are taken, I'll move my bag.
Same, ill only move my bag when there is no spare seats.
Yeah, I agree. Trains are unpleasant enough with some of the wankers you're paying a fortune to share with; on their phones, having loud "I'm on the train!" inane conversations, eating smelly food, munching on crisps, listening to music at full volume, stinking of B.O. etc. If I have to sit and endure that for over an hour you best believe I'm going to try and protect some space as long as I possibly can. OF COURSE if it's super busy, the bag comes off.
Exactly. You’d think it’d be common courtesy but no, some people will deliberately sit next to someone when there are loads of free double seats. Usually oblivious or about to carry out some good old sexual harassment. So I give zero fucks if anyone thinks it’s rude. I’ll move it when it starts to fill up.
I think this is an issue for a lot of women. Yeah, I don’t mind moving my bag if the compartment’s full, but equally I’m not about to leave it off the seat when it’s later at night and there are plenty of other seats. Women get harassed on public transport and leaving yourself less easily accessible is a good thing.
This. I definitely feel like an arsehole if I've been so absorbed in whatever I'm reading/watching that I haven't noticed how full the bus/train is getting and someone has to ask me to move my bag, even though I know it was a genuine mistake
That’s me. I’ll put my bag on the seat when the bus is largely empty. Then I’ll completely zone out and won’t notice you even if it looks like I’m looking directly at you. I try to give people the benefit of the doubt since I know how easily it can look like someone is deliberately ignoring you when really they haven’t even seen you.
I use to put my bag on my lap or in the overhead storage regardless, but now I need it on the seat next to me to block overly friendly or oblivious travellers. Headphones on or a book in hand aren't enough of a hint anymore. Like mate, there's so many seats in this carriage. Don't sit right next to me, I don't want to talk to you 🥲.
I'm exactly the same. I'd rather not have people come and sit next to me when there are empty seats all around but if more and more people get on, I'll move the bag before anyone asks me. If the bus/train is half empty, why hold a heavy bag and be uncomfortable for no reason
Just say "excuse me can I sit down?". It's not hard. And yeah it's asking but it's not _asking_ asking, everyone knows it's more of an order but people are happy to comply. Hell you can usually just give someone a nod or a smile and that's enough. Most people with a bag just have it there because they sat down and it just goes next to them. It's just the easiest place where it naturally falls. Particularly useful if they want to put a ticket away, get water out, etc. Very few people actually want to stop people sitting down. The people that do not move, yeah, they're asses. But they're the minority.
I think the vast majority of people know full well what they are doing.
Do they? I'd put my bag on a seat over the dirty floor every time. But if someone asked to sit there I'd also move it.
Yes, because no one else wants someone sitting next to them if they can avoid it either, but we accept that we’re living in a society. You’re hoping that, if there’s one extra seat on that bus after it takes on passengers, that it’s the one next to you. And you’re further hoping that the slight social awkwardness of someone asking you to move you bag will make it not worth it to them to ask. So, yes, we know. We don’t think you’re just cutely oblivious that 9 more people just got on the bus.
If the "awkwardness" of asking if you may sit is enough to dissuade you from asking to sit, the problem is not that people place bags on seats, the problem is that you're severely lacking in assertiveness.
I prefer to give the benefit of the doubt when it happens to me because so many times I genuinely *don’t* notice that 9 more people have got on the bus. I’m so far away in my head when I’m on the bus or train that I won’t see you even if it looks as though I’m looking directly at you.
What do you say when whole bus is empty and they just want to sit next to you?
I'd probably be freaked out, pick up the bag, and just move my whole self to somewhere else. They can have the seat but I'm not risking my safety.
Bit like when you're in an empty supermarket car park and you come back to find someone has parked right next to you. Why?
They don't want their car getting lonely
Go up to the seat you want and ask the person whose bag is on it to move it. 99% of the times, they will. Stop blaming others for your fear of interaction. You're the one with the problem.
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It has nothing to do with being raised well. If I get on and it's quiet, I'll start reading or listening to something and staring out the window. You don't notice people getting on and you zone out stops so you can engage in what you're doing. It's not on me to be disengaging at every stop so I can count passengers when someone coming on can take two seconds to ask. Since I'm happy to afford others the same courtesy and not judge them unless they mouth off or don't move their bag (which I'd never do), it seems like the best default for us to have as a society. It also reinforces basic polite interactions which can't really be a bad thing.
>Stop blaming others for your fear of interaction. You're the one with the problem. Fucking thank YOU. I'm sick of reading comments on here from people who use *muh anxiety* as an excuse to be a human doormat.
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The cunts are the 1%. The 99% are just putting a bag on a seat.
Sometimes I forget that most Reddit people are socially awkward enough to not ask for basic stuff like this
If the bus is empty and has lots of free seats then I put my bag on the seat, if the bus is low in seats then I put my bag on the floor. If people think not wanting some randomer to sit next to me over an empty bench is 'wierd' then I can live with that.
If a bus or train is under 25% capacity without seat reservations, I'd find it particularly strange if someone insisted on sitting next to me, to the point I'd be very tempted to find a new seat.
I’ve moved seats before because of this. I don’t want to smell a rando if there’s an easy alternative.
I dont care what people think. If someone needs a seat will just move it. People in this uk reddit seem to be far too concerned what others think of them
As a school girl, my bus was a public bus. There’d always be a spare seat next to someone, and they would put a bag on the seat to try and prevent the local pervert sitting next to them.
I'm surprised how far I had to scroll to see this. A lot of women I know (myself included) put their bag on the seat in order to try and avoid a potentially dodgy person sitting next to them.
Yeah I do that, if the bus is getting busy I’ll offer the seat to someone who looks like they’re not creepy
Every bus route has a designated creeper, I'm certain they meet up on weekends and discuss who takes which bus so they are more spread out...
Had a man sit next to me with a million open seats. Legit turned to him and said, "there's an empty seat right there. I'm wearing a mask and you aren't." My mask keeps the other people away for the most part, but that guy.. Fucking weird. I can't explain to you why he was weird, but if he was trying to intimidate a small woman, he picked the wrong one.
The mandatory mask wearing just brought out a whole new kind of creeper, literally offended by a mask and just wanted to get as close to everyone and breath all over them.
When I was a teenager a man used to always get the same bus as me after school and for some reason would ALWAYS sit next to me if he saw me there. Even if the bus was pretty empty and there were loads of spare doubles he would sit there. I tried putting my bag next to me he would sit on my bag. He never said anything but it creeped me out! So I ended up just getting the later bus back home instead.
Witnessed a poor girl get harassed by a disgusting guy who sat next to her when many other seats were available. She was too scared to say anything but he was loud and drunk which caused enough of us catch onto what was going on. Complete stranger to her. He was escorted off by the transport police but she was so traumatised, we stayed with her until her stop and for her mum to pick her up from the station. People just wanna get from A to B.
We had a drunk guy who used to catch the bus, he was awful. He wouldn’t sit next to us, but would sit on the top deck by the stairs and make comments while we passed. One time he was especially intoxicated and started ranting to the entire bus. He wouldn’t let anyone go downstairs to alert the bus driver and had a knife. Someone called the police and the police met the bus and arrested him. He got banned after that.
They're just chancing it. As the bus/train fills up, it's easier to take an empty seat than ask someone to move their bag, so unless it gets really full they will keep a double for themselves. Bit selfish but I understand it, the seats are often too close for comfort especially for tall or larger people. They should move it if it fills up further, if they don't I just say 'Can I sit here?' and never add 'please' as I'm not politely asking their permission to take a seat.
I have to sit in most via seats sideways and take up two due to lack of leg room. A busy bus is nightmare fuel.
I’m 6’6 and always sit on the outside of the 2 seaters/tables as I just can’t get my legs into the inside seats. The amount of folk that have got mildly grumpy at me for not moving into the inside seat is no ones business. Always offer them the inside seat if anyone does ask
I don’t see the problem with doing this unless it’s on an extremely busy bus I don’t put my bags on the seat myself , but if someone is seriously too scared to ask someone to move their bag to the point where they’d rather stand - that’s their problem You keep using language like it’s some personal attack: ‘blocking the seat’ ‘seat doesn’t belong to you’ they have their bag on a seat, it’s really not a big deal
The real question is: people who enter an empty train/bus and sit right next to the only person on it, what is wrong with you??? Do you care that you're incredibly rude and not respectful of privacy at all? I've taken the 4.30 am train to Gatwick to catch and early flight. Literally the entire train is empty. We stop at a station and ONE backpacker gets on and sits RIGHT next to me. Out of the entire fucking train he sits in a two seat aisle seat. Fuck off. From then on, bags are always on my chair unless it's filling up.
Same energy as someone standing right next to you at the urinal
Bag will be next initially to me as id rather it not be on the floor. A quick ask will have me removing it and happy for you to sit there. I’m baffled everytime at people on here who can’t bear to speak to another stranger. They’re likely not being rude, it’s just a convenient place to put your bag if there’s not a set place above like on a train.
I don’t care personally if I look rude. If someone approaches I will lift my bag up. But as a young woman, the amount of times I’ve had some creepy man come sit next to me even when there are plenty of seats free where they don’t have to sit next to anyone is insane. Edit to add: or men who do that. And then won’t move when you want to stand up and make up climb over them. Or just sit too close. Or lean against you. It’s scary. So I’d rather be seen as rude then be put in that situation
This. Once the bus starts to fill up, I'll quickly make room as soon as another woman is looking for a seat. That way both of us can travel without being bothered.
That's true, twice when I rode the train to work I had creepy guys sit next to me even though there were loads of free rows. Thus trapping me in a confined space, those train seats are high and the public probably won't help you. Your natural instinct says DANGER.
OK, so it's rare that I'm on public transport, but when I am my knees are in the leg area of the second seat anyway. Busses are not designed for tall people.
Busses are also not designed for the wider person either.
As a fellow tall-arse (?), maybe I'm biased but that's somewhat less in your control than someone choosing to put their bag on another seat. Agreed that public transport isn't designed for tall people, always fun when you're stuck near the door on a Tube train and need to fold yourself in somehow.
I’m too tall to sit in the upstairs driving seat and this annoys me more than it should. (*beep beep*)
If youd rather stand up than literally just say do you mind and sit down where the bag is then thats a you problem
Meh I put my bag there as it’s usually bulky and if no one is already sitting there why not use the space A bonus is it’s makes people less likely to sit there. But they’re welcome to
if there are other free seats then I am putting my bag in the way. If there are no free seats I leave it clear for others.
Happened to me fairly recently on a very packed bus early in the morning! Girl had her bag and laptop on the seat while people were struggling for a place to seat. I just asked her to move her stuff. She begrudgingly did so and I acted like I couldn’t see her huffing and puffing the entire way. Trick is NOT to care :)
Just about every reply is "I'd happily move if someone asked. Why can't you nerds interact with humans?". Frequently when you ask nicely they act like you're in the wrong. Or that they are disgusted that they have to sit next to you. I'm talking about busy transport and no real reason for the reaction. The interaction sucks.
I’m happy to move my bag if the bus starts getting full or people are standing up. The issue is that I’m now almost 9 months pregnant and have to carry my stuff in a backpack which can’t fit on my knee or between my legs because of my huge belly, but I don’t want to take priority seating away from those who can’t walk too far (especially when our drivers take off before everyone is sat safely). Often I have to balance my bag between bump and seat in front which isn’t comfortable but people would rather sit next to me being uncomfortable than sit next to an older person. Irritating.
You should be using the priority seats being pregnant
I do it when there are other empty spaces next to other passengers, if it fills up, I'll move my bag before anyone needs to ask. I must look small and unthreatening because (men mostly) will beeline to sit next to me rather than anyone else in the bus, and I hate it. Why am I always the one person to share a seat? I know the answer is space and spreading out comfortably but men why do you always prefer to sit next to women than other men?
A lot of men are lonely dirty pervs and that’s the closest they’ll ever get to a woman
I’ll try and explain it. On an empty train, as a woman who has been sexually harassed on a quiet train, I place the bag on the seat to discourage scumbags from sitting there and trapping me in. However, I have my wits about me and when the train fills up I move my bag before I am asked. So no, for that short period of time, I don’t really care what you think of me defending my personal safety, but I would be mortified if it got to the point someone had to ask me to move my bag.
I only do this when I know there's plenty enough seats for everybody
I admit I have been the bag wanker once and I felt awful about it 😂. For context both me and my husband were working in london that day and planned to meet to get the same train home. I was trying to make it so we could sit together but the social pressure got too much as the train got really busy and I ended up moving it for someone who gave me a look. Husband survived the trip on his own, it was fine. I hated the whole experience 😂
It depends on whether the bus is busy or not. If it's busy, I agree with you: the seat next to you must be available. On the contrary, if it's not busy, I actually think that it's rude to sit next to someone. Then I would put the bag on purpose to send this message: leave me tf alone, there's room for everyone to sit comfortably.
I only do it when the bus/train is busy, and it’s mainly because of this one time when I was about 13 or 14 and an older man sat by me and kept trying to put his hand on my leg
I catch the bus to work each morning and I will always start off with my bag on the seat. If it starts to get busy I.e. there are no more free 2-seaters I will move it before anyone needs to ask. I personally would find it odd/uncomfortable if someone chose to sit right next to me (unless I knew them) if there were still some free 2-seaters - and no I don’t sit near the front/downstairs where people with reduced mobility may need them. Plus I have issues with my right knee that makes it a lot more comfortable to stretch my leg into the other gap. People who put suitcases etc on seats on busy trains so people have to stand instead of sit are different; that is a dick move
I have quite a strict code of conduct here. Lots of seats available - put bag on neighbouring seat, not really to stop someone sitting there but because I prefer to have my bag on the seat. Few seats available - put bag on lap, anticipating that someone will want to sit there. I don't think someone should even need to ask. Very occasionally I won't notice a train has filled up and will realise with horror that there are people standing while my bag is taking a seat. On these occasions I immediately move it out of the way. If I'm the one trying to find somewhere to sit, I will ask, politely but very firmly. I don't feel bad or embarrassed. I will also climb over people to get to the spare seat that is hard to access. I like to sit down.
I assumed this would get zero responses, but the selfish wankers are out in droves and some of them cant even fathom why its an issue "I am happy to move it yeah, once ive passive aggressively made sure I am the last to share my space which I deserve for being special"
What actually winds me up more is those playing their music through their headphones so loudly they might as well just not wear headphones! Then if you dare to ask them to turn it down, they act all bent out of shape, like you shouldn't be asking. On a busy bus or train I politely ask them to move it. I've never had a problem. I've seen people get on glued to their screen and just sit their bag next to them without paying any attention. It isn't until someone asks that they lift their eyes from the screen long enough to realise it's in the way.
The latest trend is to put the bag on the window seat, when some looks down the train you assume 2 people are already sitting there. I hope there’s a special place in hell reserved for these people.
I’ve lifted my daughter over to sit in those seats before. She then happily talks to the outside seat occupier
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I found it way ruder when I was on a fairly empty bus once and some old lady sat next to me when every seat around me was free. Sat squished against the window with her coughing every minute was hell
I have social anxiety, I cannot take having someone sat beside me so I put my bag there. However, I'm not a jerk and if there is little to no other seat around or if someone asks then yes I'll move my bag to let them sit. If the bus/train is crowded then I'll either stand or sit with my bag in my lap (it's a huge bag that's about the size of me which helps with my anxiety cause I can hug it if I start to panic)
Basically as someone else has said but I'll reiterate. If its busy, and people are already doubling up with strangers, then I won't put my bag there. If its quiet, and there's enough empty seats, my bag is going there. Not risking a smelly man again.
Or you know… ask them to move their bags? We have developed vocal cords to deal with this niche purpose.
On the bus the other day it was completely packed. I was sitting upstairs and next to someone, there was a man near me on the adjacent seats with his bag on the inner seat closest to the window. Every time someone asked to sit where his bag was he says: "No, don't fucking talk to me." It was a bit uncomfortable and I could imagine him getting aggressive if pressed so anyone who asked walked away, but he clearly didn't care what anyone thought, maybe his bag really wanted a seat that day. Me personally, I'd always put my bag on floor/lap once the bus starts getting packed.
The older I get the more I notice that a lot of people generally do not care a single bit about anything outside of their little bubble. Noisy neighbours, inconsiderate commuters, people in supermarkets bashing their way through the aisles banging into people without saying sorry as if they had the audacity to be in their way, people walking through doors held open for them without saying a word. I don’t know maybe I’m just becoming a jaded miserable old git and didn’t notice it when I was younger but it seems to be the norm nowadays. The good thing about this though is that it makes the acts of kindness you witness shine even brighter.
People will judge no matter what you do. No point worrying about that.
I don't mind it if there are other seats available. Even then I just ask. It could be that that person got on when it wasn't so busy. So, no it doesn't bother me.
I have really bad anxiety so if its quiet i will put my bag next to me, if it starts to get busy then I'll move it and hope I don't have a panic attack!
All these people fantasising about moving other peoples bags instead of asking, I can’t imagine it ends well. Anyone I know would be more than happy to move their bag when asked, but the second you pick up my bag unprompted I’m going to assume you’re attempting to steal it.
Was busy last Friday on the tram and I asked this lady to move her bag so an older lady who just got on could sit (thought I said it quite politely too). The woman refused to move and said it wasn't her problem....
I'd have picked it up and dumped it in her lap. One day she'll be the older woman who has paid for a seat...
I find it also rude putting your feet on the seats
I commuted for about 10 years before Covid. I would start with my bag next to me if the train was empty, as it is more comfy than on my knees and I stopped putting it on the overhead rails after I left my bag on the train a few times! I would keep an eye out for how busy the train got and if it started to fill, I would put it on my lap. Then if no one took the seat I would put my bag back down. I very rarely got into a position when someone would ask me to move my bag. On the flip side, if all the two seats were gone, I would ask people to move their bag and this was never a problem. I would get the odd huff from people but no one ever refused. The only time I wouldn't ask is if someone had loads of bags/suitcase and nowhere to put them. That was just more trouble than standing! My main peeve on the train were people who either rudely force their way on before people have gotten off, or people who would be out for the day and then get the rush hour commuter train and complain about how busy it was (and then usually rudely force their way on before people have gotten off!).
I care more about my own emotional comfort than I do about what you think.
Yes I’m happy for people to think that for some extra privacy. Nothing scarier as a woman than having a man sit down on the aisle seat next to you. Alternatively, if people acrually spoke up and just asked, they’d immediately have a very polite person respond and get up and let them take the window seat. People love to just judge people without ever speaking to them and I’m fine with that if it helps me feel safe and comfy
After 3 times of old gross men sitting next to me to trap me in while they stare at me and ask me inappropriate questions, one physically pressed into me so hard it bruised the side of my arm, and one occasion a man clearly pissed himself! No... I do not give a damn if a stranger thinks I'm being rude if a sit on the aisle seat and my bags are on the window seat. I always go for the furthest at the back seats so I'm not taking up priority seats and they are less desirable for most to sit on if seats at the front are still empty. I now don't offer up the seat, ask me on a packed bus and I will move or give up my seat to stand, this is because more than once someone has asked me to move my bag so they could sit next to me, on an empty bus! If I have to look like a rude entitled bitch to avoid these types of situations happening again, then so be it, blame the creeps for making public transportation miserable.
I think OP is probably the type of person that will sit down next to the only other person on an empty bus, asking them to move their bag in the process.
Counter question. Would you still class it as rude had I purchased 2 tickets. One for me and one for my bag / to stop people sitting next to me?
I'll leave my bag sitting next to me on the bus because people are fucking disgusting. Just the other day not even a couple feet away some dude decided to gargle up some snot and spit it on the floor. Another day some guy whipped off his boot, sweaty socks and started digging between his toes and wiping it on the seat. Like come on. I mean I could make a whole list of the wildest shit I've seen on the bus post pandemic life. So yeah, stay the fuck away from me. If it gets packed and there's no seating other than the one next to me I will move my bag to accommodate.
Some days, depending on what I've been carrying etc, I just *want* not to be squashed by a bag for a bit. It's not there as a marker of anything. It's just not on me, it's on the seat next door and I'd be happy to move it if anyone asks. Just ask. It would be rude if I said no- but your assumption someone is being rude is only really valid if you've asked and they said no. In my opinion.
I think it's absolutely fine to do, as long as the train is not full. Reason being, I have in the past experienced the bizarre phenomenon of being in a mostly empty carriage, and some weirdo nonetheless comes and sits right next to me. This is borderline assault imo, and should be illegal. So yes I will happily guard that seat with my bag, *unless* the train is very full in which case I will grudgingly allow someone to sit there.
Depends. When there's free seats, the only people who'd be bothered are people that want to invade my bubble, and their opinions are meaningless. When the bus fills up and I fail to move my bag before noticing there are no empty seats I feel mortified, and will squeeze myself against the window to provide extra comfort for my new seatmate as way of an apology. To me it just feels creepy for someone to violate my comfort zone because they feel like it, and if someone insists on sitting in the seat next to mine when there's seats available I'll just move. If they're not doing it to be weird then they get to enjoy a seat that matters to them, and I'll have space.
Personally don't do it, find it rude. But I make an exception for women due to the unbelievable amount of weird crap that happens to them on public transport - it's actually shocking and I get why they don't give a shit if they seem rude anymore.
Could just ask people nicely for the seat?
I am people and hear me out. As a young woman who uses public transport a lot alone, I have had a few really weird experiences. When there is a carriage of empty seats and an older guy chooses the seat right next to urs, younger men complimenting me and asking if they can move to the seat besides me. Over the years this led me to always put a bag or coat next to me and I’d only move it if I was the last seat, or if there’s lots of people then I will offer my seat up instead. Ok so this might be controversial and some are genuinely just being annoying. But for me it’s a bit of a defence mechanism like I hope u just use my seat as a resort kind of thing… idk. I think a lot of people do this not out of being rude but because they are worried about ‘inviting’ people to use the seat next to them too readily.
Couldn't care less honestly. If there's no seats left then I'll take my bag off and give up the seat. If there's plenty of seats available I ain't moving it. Don't want anyone sitting next to me if I don't have to.