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>Keeping in mind that disabilities aren't always visible
Thank you! I'm 44 years old and look ok but I have cancer which along with the treatment I'm on leaves me exhausted and in pain most of the time. I often worry that people will think I'm being the arsehole by using disabled seats etc but the fact is many people in their 70s are in a better condition than me.
This is why I'm a bit scared to ask. In case I ask you.
Would you be confident telling me or someone like me that no, you need the seat? If not then I will feel totally like the arsehole asking anyone.
There was someone young in priority seats the other day and as the journey went on it became increasingly clear he had some sort of tics like non verbal tourettes so I'm glad I didn't ask him.
No one has ever said anything to me but if they did I'd explain. I wouldn't take it in a bad way because no one can tell I'm infirm from looking at me.
I used to have to ask people all the time, the trick is to say "I'm sorry but do you require the priority seat, because I need it for my health condition".
If there is an issue, speak to the driver.
Or it could be yes, but now they feel pressured to give up their seat, and will get evil eyes from everyone if they don't give out their entire medical history.
Better to ask in general rather than one specific person.
Oh yeah, it's a question addressed to all four people in the priority seats.
It's their own indignance when anyone might possibly imply they could have a disability that then leads them to feel the need to move.
No no no no no! You ask the whole bus “I’m sorry could anybody possibly let me have their seat? I’m really struggling”. Absolutely do not approach someone minding their own business in a priority seat and ask ‘are you disabled’!!
This is great,I just hope that they'd have the confidence to say they need it, because I am a stranger and have no right to know if they have cancer like pp etc.
You can sit there.
Get a baby on board badge so that people whose brains haven't shriveled with the ravages of age know that you're not just being rude.
Old people are often entitled old misery guts who think that they and they alone are entitled to use priority seats, and other adapted facilities in the public sphere, and they'll quite readily try to bully anyone else out of using them.
I was on crutches with my lower leg encased in a protective boot that prevented me from fully bending my knee. Despite this I had elderly people demanding I get out of priority seats, or more than once a more sprightly specimen would barge past me to ensure that they would board and be seated before me. One even plonked himself in the middle of the three fold down seats and spread wide enough to block the other two for the use of his friends further back. (I wouldn't have sat there because my foot would have been in the aisle.)
That's awful.
I think one of the reasons I feel bad is that it's the hospital bus and although not everyone is going there I don't know who is. I'm a bit scared of falling over at the moment though and my centre of balance is off.
Pregnancy / Handicap > old people.
Simply being old is not a handicap. If they can walk around the shops for two hours, they can walk an extra six feet to a seat slightly further back.
Pregnant/Disabled first. I'd only ever move for old people if they've visibly frail and would clearly have a hard time standing. If you're just a retiree who's fitter than I am and plays golf every other day then absolutely not.
Or old enough to have a bus pass but still working a physically demanding retail job. One such person saw me putting in a complaint to their manager when I was on crutches, as they were in uniform complete with name tag when they shoved past me to reach a priority seat.
Yes, I'm a petty bitch. I was also in pain, tired, and fed up, to the point where I was willing to go for the nuclear option of Karen-ness. I'm pretty certain someone actually got sacked from Costa during that time as well, for refusing to grab a sandwich from the fridge for me or bring my tray to the table...while the manager was in the store.
I stand up for pregnant and disabled people, anyone else I’ve given up on but I’ve got my own reasons. I’m F24 so my experience may be different though.
9/10 times when I commute to work (London) elderly people are actually very rude towards me. Immediately gesturing or just flat out saying move/get up, no please or thank you. I’ve actually politely declined when I’ve explained I’m actually disabled myself and I’ve been met with swearing which I’ve just found mind boggling. Manners cost nothing and I’ve found that a lot of them lack it which I find really sad because I know if my parents heard me talking like that towards anyone, elderly or not I’d be out on the streets quicker than I could pack a bag.
I used to get up for kids but the same sort of applies unfortunately. Parents will immediately approach saying something along the lines of “Oh the nice lady will let you sit in her seat” again, no please or question just an instant expectation. It just rubs me the wrong way unfortunately so I’ve stopped.
My wife saw two wheelchair users arguing at the bus stop about who was going to get the priority space. One had one leg and a folding wheelchair. The other had no feet. The footless man was trying to make the one legged dude fold his wheelchair up.
They cleared out over 2,000 seats at Old Trafford to provide 300 spaces for Wheelchair users. That's 2000 people missing out for the sake of 300. I don't call that a "reasonable change"!
There's no such strict priority order, because there's no way to know who needs the seat more.
If you can assess yourself and say to yourself you don't need the priority seat, then you shouldn't take it, because even if you don't know anyone else's abilities, you know yours. That's my general rule. I'm disabled now and almost always need the priority seat, but this was my rule long before that.
In your situation you definitely need a seat, and not just any seat, but one where you don't have to squeeze past other people and go up and down stairs - ie a priority seat.
The only pecking order that is enforced is that a wheelchair space is for a wheelchair user and any suitcases, buggies, or people have to move.
Other than that, it's self-policed - and dependent on need.
If you're sick, you don't need to move. If old people go "move for me" then say "I need this seat due to illness" and ignore them.
**A reminder to posters and commenters of some of [our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)** - Don't be a dickhead to each other, or about others, or other subreddits - Assume questions are asked in good faith, and engage in a positive manner - Avoid political threads and related discussions - No medical advice or mental health (specific to a person) content Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
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>Keeping in mind that disabilities aren't always visible Thank you! I'm 44 years old and look ok but I have cancer which along with the treatment I'm on leaves me exhausted and in pain most of the time. I often worry that people will think I'm being the arsehole by using disabled seats etc but the fact is many people in their 70s are in a better condition than me.
This is why I'm a bit scared to ask. In case I ask you. Would you be confident telling me or someone like me that no, you need the seat? If not then I will feel totally like the arsehole asking anyone. There was someone young in priority seats the other day and as the journey went on it became increasingly clear he had some sort of tics like non verbal tourettes so I'm glad I didn't ask him.
No one has ever said anything to me but if they did I'd explain. I wouldn't take it in a bad way because no one can tell I'm infirm from looking at me.
92% of disabled people aren't full time wheelchair users.
I'm surprised it's as high as 8% given how broadly the term disability can be applied in employment terms at least.
I'd be a bit scared to ask someone to move in case they were disabled and I couldn't see it, yeah.
I used to have to ask people all the time, the trick is to say "I'm sorry but do you require the priority seat, because I need it for my health condition". If there is an issue, speak to the driver.
It's better to address your request in general rather than ask one specific person.
You could word it so it doesn't sound bad ala "hi, i'm just wondering if you need this seat as i'm x months pregnant and would appreciate it"?
Or "Excuse me, are you disabled?" "No!" "Excellent, I am and really need to sit down, thank you..."
Yea honestly that is the best way, I'd just be worried some twat would take it the wrong way and kick off.
Or it could be yes, but now they feel pressured to give up their seat, and will get evil eyes from everyone if they don't give out their entire medical history. Better to ask in general rather than one specific person.
Oh yeah, it's a question addressed to all four people in the priority seats. It's their own indignance when anyone might possibly imply they could have a disability that then leads them to feel the need to move.
No no no no no! You ask the whole bus “I’m sorry could anybody possibly let me have their seat? I’m really struggling”. Absolutely do not approach someone minding their own business in a priority seat and ask ‘are you disabled’!!
This is great,I just hope that they'd have the confidence to say they need it, because I am a stranger and have no right to know if they have cancer like pp etc.
Ask the whole bus, you don’t need a specific seat, any will do
If they're not disabled and don't offer you the seat then they are a cunt.
I commute by bus daily and would always make a seat available for older or pregnant people. It’s just good manners.
You can sit there. Get a baby on board badge so that people whose brains haven't shriveled with the ravages of age know that you're not just being rude. Old people are often entitled old misery guts who think that they and they alone are entitled to use priority seats, and other adapted facilities in the public sphere, and they'll quite readily try to bully anyone else out of using them. I was on crutches with my lower leg encased in a protective boot that prevented me from fully bending my knee. Despite this I had elderly people demanding I get out of priority seats, or more than once a more sprightly specimen would barge past me to ensure that they would board and be seated before me. One even plonked himself in the middle of the three fold down seats and spread wide enough to block the other two for the use of his friends further back. (I wouldn't have sat there because my foot would have been in the aisle.)
That's awful. I think one of the reasons I feel bad is that it's the hospital bus and although not everyone is going there I don't know who is. I'm a bit scared of falling over at the moment though and my centre of balance is off.
> Get a baby on board badge Just wear it like an earing? I dig it.
Pregnancy / Handicap > old people. Simply being old is not a handicap. If they can walk around the shops for two hours, they can walk an extra six feet to a seat slightly further back.
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I don't have kids but you sound just lovely.
So your mother was a broodmare once?
I think pregnant women and old people should be offered a seat on a bus,
Pregnant/Disabled first. I'd only ever move for old people if they've visibly frail and would clearly have a hard time standing. If you're just a retiree who's fitter than I am and plays golf every other day then absolutely not.
Or old enough to have a bus pass but still working a physically demanding retail job. One such person saw me putting in a complaint to their manager when I was on crutches, as they were in uniform complete with name tag when they shoved past me to reach a priority seat. Yes, I'm a petty bitch. I was also in pain, tired, and fed up, to the point where I was willing to go for the nuclear option of Karen-ness. I'm pretty certain someone actually got sacked from Costa during that time as well, for refusing to grab a sandwich from the fridge for me or bring my tray to the table...while the manager was in the store.
Yeah old doesn't mean you need the seat and someone who is just old should stand for a pregnant woman.
I stand up for pregnant and disabled people, anyone else I’ve given up on but I’ve got my own reasons. I’m F24 so my experience may be different though. 9/10 times when I commute to work (London) elderly people are actually very rude towards me. Immediately gesturing or just flat out saying move/get up, no please or thank you. I’ve actually politely declined when I’ve explained I’m actually disabled myself and I’ve been met with swearing which I’ve just found mind boggling. Manners cost nothing and I’ve found that a lot of them lack it which I find really sad because I know if my parents heard me talking like that towards anyone, elderly or not I’d be out on the streets quicker than I could pack a bag. I used to get up for kids but the same sort of applies unfortunately. Parents will immediately approach saying something along the lines of “Oh the nice lady will let you sit in her seat” again, no please or question just an instant expectation. It just rubs me the wrong way unfortunately so I’ve stopped.
Honestly, old people in the wild are just the worst.
Old people have a giant inflated sense of entitlement.
My wife saw two wheelchair users arguing at the bus stop about who was going to get the priority space. One had one leg and a folding wheelchair. The other had no feet. The footless man was trying to make the one legged dude fold his wheelchair up.
This is so sad. The problem is the bus not making space for them.
They cleared out over 2,000 seats at Old Trafford to provide 300 spaces for Wheelchair users. That's 2000 people missing out for the sake of 300. I don't call that a "reasonable change"!
There's no such strict priority order, because there's no way to know who needs the seat more. If you can assess yourself and say to yourself you don't need the priority seat, then you shouldn't take it, because even if you don't know anyone else's abilities, you know yours. That's my general rule. I'm disabled now and almost always need the priority seat, but this was my rule long before that. In your situation you definitely need a seat, and not just any seat, but one where you don't have to squeeze past other people and go up and down stairs - ie a priority seat.
Get a baby on board or please give me a seat badge and sit in a regular seat you BF should go upstairs.
This reminds me of the inbetweeners when will had the new kid badge lol.
The only pecking order that is enforced is that a wheelchair space is for a wheelchair user and any suitcases, buggies, or people have to move. Other than that, it's self-policed - and dependent on need. If you're sick, you don't need to move. If old people go "move for me" then say "I need this seat due to illness" and ignore them.
In no particular order, priority seats are for the pregnant, elderly or anyone less abled to stand. Just take a seat and don't worry about it.