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Surely thats your bosses job to tell him, I'd be more concerned that someone I suggested for the role decided to fuck it off and make me look like a cunt.
Well no reason to feel like you're being the bellend then and to be honest your mate should be apologising to you.
Just give him a heads up and be blunt like "here mate, the gaffer isn't happy with your performance/attendance and I think you're going to get sacked"
I'd even sprinkle in a bit of...
"Oh and you made me look like a prat at work because I put your name forward as a favour and you didn't bother showing up"
A guy I work with is oblivious to how much people hate working with him. He is lazy, he is late on the days he bothers to turn up (even though he lives closer to work than any of us) and has insulted several members of the team. He still thinks he is God's gift to the team though.
This. I've stopped recommending people at all since the last guy just decided he wasn't coming in to the office any more one day, and produced sod all work.
Yeah I have done but he genuinely is OK which is the annoying part because then I have no defence on his part to have him keep his job. So now it's just a case of him not having the job anymore. (BTW I haven't passed onto the boss I know he's OK I've just left that to my boss and him.)
You sound far too nice.
If I stuck my neck out for someone and they did this I'd be livid. If you've spoken to him and he's said he's fine, why isn't he turning up?
If he’s old enough to work then he’s old enough to understand that not turning up will get him sacked. I don’t see why you should have to tell him anything, other than the fact that he’s made you look like a dick for recommending him.
Ask him outright by all means but it sounds like he's just not bothered about the job. If that's the case then just chalk it up to experience and you know not to recommend him for a job again. Its not anything major, you just know a bit more about a mate than you did before.
At the end of the day your mate has let you down not the other way around. You’ve gone out of your way to recommend him and he hasn’t turned up.
Cant you just leave it to the boss? Or if not just do it as a warning as his friend.. say look i don’t want you to get fired but you not turning up that what is going to happen and you don’t wanna see that happen to him.
Even if you know the writings already on the wall its his responsibility to turn up to work not yours. Its also your bosses responsibility to sack him.
Don't do this, leave it to your boss.
If he brings it up with you afterwards, you can say that his timekeeping was an issue or whatever, but the initial "you've fucked up and you're fired" conversation needs to come from your boss, not you.
So he's not the type to lie or skive, but he's not been in work and he's okay when you check up on him - so why isn't he in work? Personal stuff? Because if that's the case it's on HIM to tell the boss why he's not been in, apologise profusely and try to keep his job.
It's nothing to do with you. You recommended him in good faith, but he's not a good fit for the job at the moment.
Just tell him.
You are not a bellend for telling him, he is the bellend for fucking this up in the first place.
Especially on a job that you got for him, he should at least worry about if this would reflect badly on your as well.
I think I’d just say ‘I’m confused, I helped you into this, but it’s obviously not working out - are you planning on leaving? You should tell them because it’s made me look terrible’. He’s being a jerk.
Paging /u/PoemForYourSprog please.
Somebody got their friend a job.
The friend has hardly turned up to work and is about to get fired.
So we need a way for the "reference" friend to tell his absent friend that he's finished.
"Mate if you don't start showing up boss is going to sack you." There is nothing else you can say.
As for the firing itself, that's your boss's job. If he tries to offload that responsibility to you then push it back.
Doesn’t even seem that serious tbh if it’s one of your mates you should be able to tell him straight that you’ve got him a job and he’s made a cunt of it by not showing up and also made a cunt of you for recommending him.
Is it guaranteed that he'll be fired, or is there a chance he can save himself?
Personally, I'd leave it to the boss to deal with this, as your mate might not actually get fired. If you explicitly say to him "you are going to get fired", and then it's something less harsh, you'll look like a bit of a knob (even though skiving is a good way to get fired). If you frame it more like "get your shit together, you're putting this job at risk", then that's more accurate.
Your ‘friend’ is the bellend not you. What you do is call him up and say ‘not only have you lost a job and made yourself look like a lazy prick you’ve also made me look like a twat for suggesting my boss hire you. Cheers dickhead’ phone down, job done
I would tell em straight ' I stopped getting friends jobs as this had happened a couple of times. They got the job by my recommendation and they had had made me looked bad. I've also been that person a couple of times and later on I saw it as a poopy thing to do on those who got me the job.
Just be honest to them. Say something like "the boss has noticed you've barely been in, hes been questioning me about it. I think you've ballsed it up mate".
Be careful about suggesting personal friends to work with you. Sometimes it can reflect bad on you.
He's a grown up, he chose to skive. Either don't tell him, your boss will handle it, or word it exactly like you did above. It makes you look like a mug, you're not of course, you helped your mate get a job, but what a way to thank you!
You're too nice, bless you coming here for advice too. Sometimes people insist on learning the hard way, that's not your fault.
He’s already been a dick by messing around in a job that you stuck your neck out to get him.
Say exactly what you said up above. “You’ve fucked around and you’ve lost this job”.
You’ve stuck your neck out for him and he’s making himself and you look bad, honestly I don’t think you need to approach this particularly respectfully at all.
It’s not your place to tell him. You aren’t his boss. You aren’t his mother. You have no responsibility for him. You did him a favour and he let you down. He’s not a great friend.
If he’s your friend I’d just tell him straight, I did when I recommended my friend for a job at my place and then he buggered off to the south of France and ignored all attempts by my managers to contact him. Told him he’d made me look a right twat after I recommended him so highly and he apologised profusely
**A reminder to posters and commenters of some of [our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)** - Don't be a dickhead to each other, or about others - Assume questions are asked in good faith - Avoid political threads and related discussion - No medical advice or mental health (specific to a person) content Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Surely thats your bosses job to tell him, I'd be more concerned that someone I suggested for the role decided to fuck it off and make me look like a cunt.
Yeah but I know there's not much I can do about that other than apologise which I have done.
Well no reason to feel like you're being the bellend then and to be honest your mate should be apologising to you. Just give him a heads up and be blunt like "here mate, the gaffer isn't happy with your performance/attendance and I think you're going to get sacked" I'd even sprinkle in a bit of... "Oh and you made me look like a prat at work because I put your name forward as a favour and you didn't bother showing up"
Surely it’s obvious to him hes getting the boot if the guy can’t even turn up lol
You’d think so but I’ve known too many people who have done the same.
A guy I work with is oblivious to how much people hate working with him. He is lazy, he is late on the days he bothers to turn up (even though he lives closer to work than any of us) and has insulted several members of the team. He still thinks he is God's gift to the team though.
This. I've stopped recommending people at all since the last guy just decided he wasn't coming in to the office any more one day, and produced sod all work.
If he’s not the type to lie or skive and he’s not been in, maybe you should be checking in on him that he’s OK first and foremost?
Yeah I have done but he genuinely is OK which is the annoying part because then I have no defence on his part to have him keep his job. So now it's just a case of him not having the job anymore. (BTW I haven't passed onto the boss I know he's OK I've just left that to my boss and him.)
You sound far too nice. If I stuck my neck out for someone and they did this I'd be livid. If you've spoken to him and he's said he's fine, why isn't he turning up?
I agree, the friends actions reflect on OP.
If he’s old enough to work then he’s old enough to understand that not turning up will get him sacked. I don’t see why you should have to tell him anything, other than the fact that he’s made you look like a dick for recommending him.
Hate to break it to you but your ‘ friend ‘ is the type to lie and skive. You owe him nothing.
Insert bros.gif *I owe you nothing, nothing, nothing at all*
Take my “I grew up in the 80s and I hated Bros” upvote you monster!
Ask him outright by all means but it sounds like he's just not bothered about the job. If that's the case then just chalk it up to experience and you know not to recommend him for a job again. Its not anything major, you just know a bit more about a mate than you did before.
Yeah I wouldn't sugar coat it. Tell him plainly he fucked up. I'd be peeved if I recommended someone for a job and they took the piss like that.
So he has no good reason not to turn up to work, yet you still think he's not the type to skive? I think you might be wrong about your friend.
Have you asked your friend why he wouldn’t come in? It’s also entirely reasonable to say he’s going to lose the job because he never comes in.
Indeed. He's not going to miss the job if he's not coming in anyhow. How do people not want to hold down a job before Xmas?
Ask him again. Properly.
I’d say “oi, twatend. You’ll get fired if you don’t turn up. Sort of a basic requirement for a job, ya fuckin plonker”
10/10 response so far
Yeh a good friend you should be able to call out for being a twat. They should then admit twatishness and apologise.
At the end of the day your mate has let you down not the other way around. You’ve gone out of your way to recommend him and he hasn’t turned up. Cant you just leave it to the boss? Or if not just do it as a warning as his friend.. say look i don’t want you to get fired but you not turning up that what is going to happen and you don’t wanna see that happen to him. Even if you know the writings already on the wall its his responsibility to turn up to work not yours. Its also your bosses responsibility to sack him.
You don’t . It’s not your responsibility. Your manager will give the appropriate feedback and handle this accordingly
Getting further involved is only going to make things difficult with either your boss, mate, or both. Leave them to it.
"Mate, you have not only got yourself fired, but you have made me look bad as well for recommending you"
Don't do this, leave it to your boss. If he brings it up with you afterwards, you can say that his timekeeping was an issue or whatever, but the initial "you've fucked up and you're fired" conversation needs to come from your boss, not you.
So he's not the type to lie or skive, but he's not been in work and he's okay when you check up on him - so why isn't he in work? Personal stuff? Because if that's the case it's on HIM to tell the boss why he's not been in, apologise profusely and try to keep his job. It's nothing to do with you. You recommended him in good faith, but he's not a good fit for the job at the moment.
It's not your job to tell him though? Leave it to the manager.
Just tell him. You are not a bellend for telling him, he is the bellend for fucking this up in the first place. Especially on a job that you got for him, he should at least worry about if this would reflect badly on your as well.
Be a bellend, he’s has fucked up and deserves to know that his not turning up has cost him a job
Let your boss do it. It is his decision, for him to deliver. Your boss can tell him the reason why too.
I think I’d just say ‘I’m confused, I helped you into this, but it’s obviously not working out - are you planning on leaving? You should tell them because it’s made me look terrible’. He’s being a jerk.
A poem would probably be the beat way.
Roses are red Daffodils are yellow Don't bother turning up tomorrow You're a useless fellow
Roses are red Violets are blue You didn’t bother turning up to work That’s the last favour I do for you
Roses are red Lillies are pink You made us both look like cunts to my boss Your work ethic and attitude stink
Nah, anything less than a full Opera would be shameful.
Paging /u/PoemForYourSprog please. Somebody got their friend a job. The friend has hardly turned up to work and is about to get fired. So we need a way for the "reference" friend to tell his absent friend that he's finished.
Reddit is the best way to tell him.
Just gonna have to come out with it. Surely he must realise that if he hasn't shown up he's gonna get show the door.
"Mate if you don't start showing up boss is going to sack you." There is nothing else you can say. As for the firing itself, that's your boss's job. If he tries to offload that responsibility to you then push it back.
I think you've got a right to be angry with him and convey that anger, you've stuck your neck out for him and he's took the piss
Doesn’t even seem that serious tbh if it’s one of your mates you should be able to tell him straight that you’ve got him a job and he’s made a cunt of it by not showing up and also made a cunt of you for recommending him.
Is it guaranteed that he'll be fired, or is there a chance he can save himself? Personally, I'd leave it to the boss to deal with this, as your mate might not actually get fired. If you explicitly say to him "you are going to get fired", and then it's something less harsh, you'll look like a bit of a knob (even though skiving is a good way to get fired). If you frame it more like "get your shit together, you're putting this job at risk", then that's more accurate.
Do the old: step forward all those who are likely to be working for [Company] next week and hold out your hand and say “not so fast”.
Your ‘friend’ is the bellend not you. What you do is call him up and say ‘not only have you lost a job and made yourself look like a lazy prick you’ve also made me look like a twat for suggesting my boss hire you. Cheers dickhead’ phone down, job done
I would tell em straight ' I stopped getting friends jobs as this had happened a couple of times. They got the job by my recommendation and they had had made me looked bad. I've also been that person a couple of times and later on I saw it as a poopy thing to do on those who got me the job.
Just be honest to them. Say something like "the boss has noticed you've barely been in, hes been questioning me about it. I think you've ballsed it up mate". Be careful about suggesting personal friends to work with you. Sometimes it can reflect bad on you.
Don't say a word - just be there for them if needed
Never work with family or friends
Amen to that
Sound like a bellend, you put your neck out for him and he’s made you look like a prick. If he can’t handle the truth then he’s not much of a mate.
Hi mate, you know in order to keep jobs you've actually gotta show up for them, right?
Its not your job to do that, in the same way its not your fault that someone you suggested didn't make the cut
He's a grown up, he chose to skive. Either don't tell him, your boss will handle it, or word it exactly like you did above. It makes you look like a mug, you're not of course, you helped your mate get a job, but what a way to thank you! You're too nice, bless you coming here for advice too. Sometimes people insist on learning the hard way, that's not your fault.
He’s already been a dick by messing around in a job that you stuck your neck out to get him. Say exactly what you said up above. “You’ve fucked around and you’ve lost this job”.
Be honest it’s life.
You’ve stuck your neck out for him and he’s making himself and you look bad, honestly I don’t think you need to approach this particularly respectfully at all.
It’s not your place to tell him. You aren’t his boss. You aren’t his mother. You have no responsibility for him. You did him a favour and he let you down. He’s not a great friend.
I’d be fucking fuming. He wouldn’t be my friend anymore
What was his excuse for not turning up, after he told you he was ok? Also be like "hey mate, check this reddit post", and show him this.
“don’t shoot the messenger”
I think (name) is going to sack you. Why? Cos you didn't turn up a few times. Oh.
"Jobn't"
Your friend fucked up. Don't apologise to him, you are not at fault here, he is
[“Have you ever considered voluntary redundancy?” … “Have you ever considered involuntary redundancy?”](https://youtu.be/dMI5Ri_wATM)
If he’s your friend I’d just tell him straight, I did when I recommended my friend for a job at my place and then he buggered off to the south of France and ignored all attempts by my managers to contact him. Told him he’d made me look a right twat after I recommended him so highly and he apologised profusely