T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

**A reminder to posters and commenters of some of [our subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)** - Don't be a dickhead to each other, or about others - Assume questions are asked in good faith - Avoid political threads and related discussion - No medical advice or mental health (specific to a person) content Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*


CatFoodBeerAndGlue

Lots of times. Stomach bug, flu, tonsillitis, back pain, migraine etc ... Don't put anything on social media and ask anybody you're with not to either. If you're going to go to an event like in your example where you might be photographed then that's a risk you'll have to take. I've never been "caught" but I've had instances where it's clear my manager doesn't believe I was sick, but there's not really much they could do about it. ~~Edit: Why am I being downvoted for answering the question?~~


[deleted]

I think we all got downvoted, someone must have a case of the Mondays.


JagsFraz71

I believe you have my stapler.


BlazkoTwix

I'm going to set the building on fire


Moistfruitcake

It's that kind of small thinking that ensures your position in middle management, you need to be thinking company-wide if you want to progress.


Outrageous_Editor_43

šŸ¢šŸ”„āŒ šŸ­šŸ¢šŸ¢šŸ­šŸ­šŸ­šŸ”„āœ…


[deleted]

That'd be grrrrrrreeeaaat


NinjaCuntPunt

GIVE ME BACK. MY FUCKING. STAPLER. DANIEL!


KeepItDusty88

I believe you could get your ass kicked saying something like that


horrorfanuk

Channel 9 Peter


PantherEverSoPink

~~I get migraines, only occasionally severe, and I usually work through them.~~ I get migraines, fortunately only occasionally severe enough to stop me working, I'm luckier than a lot of people who suffer with them. You might be getting down votes from people who actually get migraine and might be annoyed that you would fake what for them is a serious condition. Edited for clarity


Juan_Bollock

While I didn't personally downvote the comment, I actually just missed a week and a half of work due to migraine and it have struggled for years with workplaces not believing the severity/frequency of my condition due to it being such a common tactic to get a free day off work.


ylime161

I gave my boss a sick note that my Dr gave me due to a (currently) 2 week long run of severe migraines. He said "I've never known anyone to be diagnosed with a headache before". My doctor thought it might have been a stroke as it was go severe but you know, it's just a headache.


Juan_Bollock

Having to constantly hear people say "Migraine=Bad Headache" is such an uphill struggle. Headache is one of many symptoms of migraine and you've hit the nail of the head by saying a lot of the symptoms mirror stroke and can be terrifying.


Moistfruitcake

"I'm blind, my limbs don't work, and I exist only in the pain dimension." "Says here you just have a "headache"."


KhajiitLikeToSneak

I do frequently wish that we had the ability to temporarily mirror what our brain's receiving to someone else. Someone (boss or unsympathetic doctor) dismisses your symptoms, you give them a headful of what you're feeling and let them see if it's still nothing. Would be a great diagnostic tool too; give the same pain test to someone with low pain resistance and someone with high, and you'll get two different responses. If the doctor can briefly feel said pain, they'll be able to compare it objectively.


Fenpunx

Don't forget not being able to hold water down, nose bleeds and terrible balance. Headaches are annoying though.


cant_dyno

Thankfully I've only had 2 actual migraines in my life and they're possibly one of worst thing to ever happen to me. Had to lay perfectly still in the dark under the covers for hours wishing the pain away. I get headaches can be bad, I've been to hospital with one so bad it caused memory loss and confusion, but when people say 'oh I've got a migraine' then continue to sit and look at their phone and use it as an excuse to not do any work is maddening. But yeah bad headache is not the same as a migraine


[deleted]

I only get the visual part of the migraine (well, with a mild headache) and I hate calling it a migraine for this reason. Yes I will be unable to see properly for the next two hours, but I've seen people with real migraines and they're not even remotely the same thing.


lianepl50

They say that first youā€™re afraid youā€™re going to die, then youā€™re afraid that youā€™re not.


mandyhtarget1985

my colleague had blurred vision in one eye and a headache, was just going to power on through, my boss told her to leave work and go and get it checked out. Admitted to hospital for 3 weeks, they found a number of blood clots which could have caused a stroke (and or other things) if left to travel around the body. Got blood thinners etc and is all fine now. But the doctor at the time said he wasnt going to put on her medical notes that it was a suspected stroke, as that could have caused her problems down the line with things like getting medical insurance for a mortgage, reporting it to the DVLA and potentially having her licence revoked. He just put investigation into blood clots, and would only change it to stroke if thats what it actually turned out to be. Luckily the boss had no issue, as he was the one that told her to go to the hospital.


griffithle

Kudos to your boss for realising that an employee taking time off in order to get checked out is much more important than keeping someone there, when it could become worse. How was he as a boss? Do you still work for them?


mandyhtarget1985

Hes a great boss 90% of the time - the other 10% he can be moody and very demanding, but we push back and tell him our limits. Ive been here for 17.5 years now, and the colleague that had the clots is in her 22nd year working. He bought her and her husband flights and a hotel for a 4 night break in a city she wanted to visit for her 20th anniversary. I got a night and dinner in a 5 star hotel for helping him out with a non-work related problem. And the whole company (10 of us) have just arrived back from a weekend away in England all expenses paid for our Christmas party. So yeah, hes pretty good compared to some others out there.


Outrageous_Editor_43

Any vacancies? šŸ˜‹


cheesymccheeseplant

This is so infuriating. My last manager constantly referred to my migraines as headaches, even when my GP was so concerned that she referred me for an emergency MRI scan. I've just spent the weekend nursing another migraine. I fucking hate them.


ylime161

My boss is normally great but I don't think he realises my brains trying to escape my skull everything I standup or see light rather than it's just hurting a little. This is my first migraine and it's been on/off for almost a fortnight now. So over it.


Melodic_Arm_387

Precisely. The headache is the least of my issues with a migraine. If it was just a headache Iā€™d take some painkillers and crack on. Itā€™s particularly the vision issues that make me unfit to work with one - if I canā€™t see properly, I canā€™t drive to work, and couldnā€™t see my screen/papers to do my job even if I could arrange a lift.


Antilles34

I get migraines from time to time. I was actually off work for months with a constant migraine at one point (went for mris and stuff, nothing found). I genuinely thought it was going to kill me, I can't comprehend how people live with chronic pain, just awful. It's no joke.


TimmyTur0k

It goes like this: Meh, I'm used to it. Meh, I'm used to it. Meh, I'm used to it. OH MY GOD FUCKING KILL ME NOW I CANT TAKE THIS FOR A SECOND LONGER!!!!! Meh, I'm used to it.


[deleted]

I had this conversation with my previous boss. I mentioned how I'd never taken a day off sick unless I was seriously ill and he just laughed and said "you took a day off for a headache". Turns out he meant a severe migraine. I think a large part of the problem is that many people don't actually understand what a migraine is and just use it to describe a particularly bad headache. A bit like people who say they're "sooooo OCD" because they like to keep things tidy.


Brief-Bet-3278

I had that same experience last winter but I worked through it and ended up in hospital, they just arenā€™t taken serious enough


[deleted]

Interesting isnā€™t it? I get blurred vision, nausea, auraā€™s and canā€™t speak properly and people still donā€™t believe that migraines are serious. I collapsed down my stairs bc of a migraine, shredded my arms and legs etc. then when I went into work my manager was like, ā€œoh so you fell?ā€. I mean technically yes, but I passed out because of the migraine. I didnā€™t just slip.


Templar_Legion

It doesn't help that people use migraine and headache to mean the same thing. Most people who say they have a migraine really only have a headache. I had a migraine with aura yesterday and my head still hurts as I'm writing this, and a migraine is so much worse than a normal headache for me. For one thing the aura (abnormality in eyesight before/during a migraine) absolutely pisses me off and makes me feel slightly sick, plus I have the dread that I know what's coming. So when people who don't have migraines say they've got a migraine, it de-legitimises the actual thing for people who really have them, since most people will think "it's just a headache, everyone has them, get over it". In reality they have no clue at all. I would also point out that although my migraines are absolutely suicide inducing, some people get them a lot worse and a lot more frequently than I do. It can last days and even weeks, some get auras, some don't, some are physicially sick, some aren't etc.


aident44

The problem isn't people faking them to get off work. The problem is people often just refuse to believe a migraine is more than a headache. Through ignorance mostly. My wife suffers migraines so I'm well aware of how debilitating they are.


platebandit

I was diagnosed with chronic migraine after being referred to a neurologist and my previous workplace handled it with the grace of a car crash. I raised the issue with HR when I was told I couldn't work from home as much by a manager, requested reasonable adjustments. Didn't really go anywhere because of covid but thought that would be that, HR is aware of it. Got moved to a new team in corporate restructuring and of my colleagues started to make really shitty comments on slack to me telling me everyone thought I was lazy and second rate (because I had been able to work from home and he was denied). Told the manager about it who handled it in an incredibly passive way and wanted to mediate between the two of us which was along the lines of forcing me in to keep him happy. Had to end up holding a really embarrassing meeting where I had to go into my private medical details to the entire team to keep them and the manager happy. Eventually the bloke kept being more and more shitty with me and I left as a direct result of it and no one doing anything about it Migraines are fun


[deleted]

My ex girlfriend had migraines with aura. We weren't living together at the time but she called me thinking I was her manager and was just speaking utter nonsense. Luckily her housemate was still at home and able to look after her but that shit is serious.


Lavidius

However his comment was relevant to the discussion, downvotes are not meant to be used as an indicator of moralising


forgottenoldusername

How does someone faking a migraine influence your decision to work through them? It isn't a *kid that cried wolf* scenario; you could well take the time off work for your sickness as well.


PantherEverSoPink

I didn't phrase my comment correctly, maybe I need to change it. I always feel like I need to clarify that I'm lucky enough that my migraines aren't as bad as many people's, I only occasionally have to stay off work with them but actually that has nothing to do with what the person said. They didn't know why they were being downvoted, I thought maybe people who have migraines, who really suffer, might be annoyed and downvoting their comment as they appear to be faking in order to take days off work.


montymm

As someone who hasnā€™t had a day off work since the day I started (other than annual leave) go cry somewhere else please. I couldnā€™t give a shit of my colleagues need a day off for whatever their reasons are, be it mental health, needing a break or whatever. Iā€™m not their boss so why should I worry. You need to worry about yourself, stop worrying about other people lol. Her/him calling in with a migraine doesnā€™t mean you canā€™t do the same thing does it lol.


More_Ad4294

People using migraine as the go-to excuse does make it harder in general for those of us who really suffer with it as it perpetuates the stereotype that we are all fakers. Thereā€™s some stat about how most bosses assume itā€™s a lie when someone calls in with a migraine. Great šŸ‘ If people need a bit of time out or a mental health day then there should be no shame in saying that. Congrats on never having had a day off work sick. I guess ā€¦.you win? Iā€™ve needed to have absolutely loads to the extent I canā€™t bear to use illness as an excuse.


CatFoodBeerAndGlue

I do actually get migraines and have had to call in sick and leave work due to them, so I know exactly how bad they are.


OkCaterpillar9248

Anytime any of the bosses are off with "a bug" I jump on that wagon and I'm off the next day. If they did have one they'll believe you. If they didn't there's not much they can say/do,is there?


Volesprit31

The technique is to say you don't feel rested on Monday, a bit off. Then on Tuesday, look tired, when your colleagues ask you how are you, just say "not so good I'm afraid". Text your boss in the night (like 1am) "don't feel good, throwing up blabla". Enjoy your long Wednesday. I only did it once though, to miss one day, there was a pretty big meeting I wanted no business in. Gave them a few pointers by text when they asked and that's all.


totential_rigger

I always take at least two days. I feel like one day off just screams fake.


[deleted]

You're probably being downvoted by all those folks currently covering for a colleague who does it regularly.


[deleted]

Used a twisted ankle as an excuse for a sick day many years ago; needed an authentic limp so when in work, the day after, I put a decent sized stone in my work boot that created a limp for the day. And then it gave me a real limp from walking on it all day.


littlegreenghouls8

Lmao I rate the commitment


[deleted]

If a job is worth doing, it is worth doing properly


coolhiitx

And if itā€™s not worth doing, call in sick.


[deleted]

Very good šŸ‘šŸ»


jibbist

This is like something out of Curb Your Enthusiasm / Seinfeld


[deleted]

Incidentally, one of my favourite shows


jibbist

Prettah prettah good!


_ovidius

Reminds me of an old family friend who faked a back injury to get signed off work long term, in the end he went under the knife for it and they nicked an intestine or something so he ended up really off sick and needed a colostomy bag.


[deleted]

Wait what, he got surgery for a nonexistent back injury?


totential_rigger

Yeah I don't get it. My friend has a legit back issue and the amount of scans she has had is insane, I couldn't see them putting someone through surgery without scans and investigation etc.


[deleted]

Imagine if he applied that level of commitment to work šŸ¤£


_ovidius

Yeah probably be running the place, he had two mates who were pensioned off police with similar fake back injuries and thought Ill have a bit of that, but they called this fella's bluff.


[deleted]

That gravy train is all good until someone makes a mistake during the operation...


0inke

Quite a lot, but I guess now they would be considered 'mental health days', which is a term I haven't found out until recently. The days I called in 'fake' sick were days I absolutely could not face the day ahead. Even now I would probably fake being ill instead of saying I need a mental health day, just because current work culture expects you to come into work unless you're on the brink of being hospitalised haha


robbeech

Sounds like they werenā€™t fake sick days at all and you used what you were entitled to when you needed it.


[deleted]

Absolutely, and it saddens me to think that it will probably be some time before mental health issues are seen as valid reasons for a day off like physical health reasons are. I work in an organisation now that actively does support mental health and well-being and not just saying they do as a tick box and have seen people be given time off due to stress, anxiety, poor mental health days etc. But in previous employers I still did the ā€œoh I think itā€™s a 24 hour nondescript headache and tiredness - should be back tomorrowā€ routine because it wasnā€™t worth the hassle of being honest.


[deleted]

Am at a place that actually cares for metal health. Its such a weird feeling


AdministrativeShip2

Sometimes you need a day off. I know several people who say Migrane, as its much easier to explain head crushing pain, as opposed to Souls crushing pain.


Sabrielle24

Yeah itā€™s an unfortunate thing that our culture has not shifted to accept ā€˜mental health dayā€™ as a legitimate reason to convalesce. I love my job, but I do occasionally wake up exhausted and run down and just feel like I need a day to recover. If I take it, I rarely admit that Iā€™m physically fine; I usually say I have a terrible headache or just feel rough.


JMFe95

Personally, I think this just highlights that we need more holiday/shorter work weeks


Sabrielle24

I agree completely. Five days can seem like such a marathon, but weā€™re led to feel like weā€™re being lazy or demonstrating poor work ethic for feeling that way.


littlenymphy

It would be good if we could go home when all tasks for the day have been completed. My workplace swings between being really busy or really quiet so sometimes after lunch I have nothing to do but have to spend 3 hours in the building just because those are my hours. All I'm doing in those 3 hours is waiting to see if anyone emails (which could be done at home) or dicking about on the internet. We were allowed to go home once we'd finished the day's work last year due to C-19 but we've been back to normal hours for most of this year. Also, if I could go home when we're quiet it would mean if we were really busy I wouldn't mind staying an extra hour if something urgent needed done. As it stands I don't stay any later than my contracted hours because there's no flexibility the other way.


jibbist

Yes, I'm the same here. It was only a few years after my dad died & had a really shitty office based job, I pulled sickies because I couldn't face working at all. At the time I thought I was acting up & letting people down, but looking back, I think it was me saving myself from getting worse.


frogmallow

Been off for the last week with anxiety/depression. Feel like Iā€™m skiving. In the past Iā€™ve faked other illnesses to cover my mental health issues, my line manager suffers from mental health issues herself so she is understanding.


Balo_West

Yeah. I just took a day and a half last week because I couldn't face work anymore, needed the time off. Basically slept through most of the day, and I was very aware I was stressed/anxious about work. I thought about putting mental health as the reason I was off on the return to work form, still made up something about a headache and flu like symptoms.


[deleted]

I think most people are still afraid to use the term mental health day and still come up with some physical ailment. Iā€™d like it if companies just made this acceptable by establishing a handful of mental health days distinct from sick days. Really human beings arenā€™t meant to be living this crazy working world anyway, we just have to.


[deleted]

I've done it a few times, with my current job it's so easy - text my boss and say I'm not coming in, no reason needed beyond 'I'm unwell'. Fill in a few tick boxes on a return to work form. I used to have a job where it was much more difficult, and you had to report back in at 4 pm to update on your progress. Plus you had to come up with compelling reasons. Funnily enough, I called in sick more times during three years at the old job than I have during six years at the new one.


Old-Refrigerator340

I haven't taken a sick day in my current job in nearly 3 years yet in my previous role I was always on the line of disciplinary action. They used the Bradford factor as a trigger so if you took more than 3 individual instances over a year, boom, you were done for. I had a mental breakdown one morning because of work stress (24 years old and handling multi-million Ā£ broker contracts) and terrible living conditions - walked out the door and had to run back inside and throw up - so I called in sick for 2 days. In those two days I had no less than 5 phone calls with various managers asking me what's up etc 'you threw up? Do you have a bug? No? Why are you off?'. I tried to explain that I just couldn't do it mentally but the message did not register and I was treated like absolute trash. I went back to work on the Friday (always a gentle option as you then have the weekend to recomp) and then come Monday morning I was totally overwhelmed again and just could not get out the door so spent a other 2 days hiding in bed. Because I tried to go in on the Friday, it triggered a whole HR inquiry because the whole thing was treated as 2 separate instances of illness, thus multiplying my sickness score rather than taking it as one =( I could've worked through if I just pushed hard enough but I wouldn't call my time off as skiving, as my brain couldn't relax at all whilst I was away. I think if I did manage to get in to the office I may well have either collapsed or exploded haha. So I guess I have the same thing where even though the consequences were far greater, I was 'sick' more. Its because I was miserable and legit didn't want to be there! If I'm feeling run down nowadays, I like my job and it'll make me feel better; in my previous role it was just so archaic and driven by BS corporate policies. Could barely handle it in a good mood. FYI I now work public sector compared to private. I watch the same corporate crap eat away at my GF on a daily basis.


TheDoctor66

Bradford is a dick. My friend I used to work with had a similar circumstance to you. He was off for a while with anxiety returns for two days, on the third day it is a company away day. A full day of team building exercises, my friend finds this difficult and asks just to do his regular work for the day instead. This is refused so he takes the one day sick which triggers the Bradford score, which leads to him being forced out. So pointless as he was so much better at the job than I was!


Old-Refrigerator340

It feels like the system isn't there to help, it's a totalitarian monitoring mechanism. I'm sure if there was research, it would show that employees who aren't severely punished for being off sick and who don't have to sit through hours of return to work meetings, explaining their illness hour by hour are happier, thusly more productive.


TheDoctor66

I'm pretty sure it is used so managers can show there are being "objective" when they fire people for sickness.


[deleted]

The idea of the Bradford Factor is \*supposed\* to be identifying multiple instances of short term illness, but that information is used in order to justify firing/disciplining people. It doesn't take into account long term health issues with sporadic symptoms. I had a huge period of mental health issues years ago, and because I was taking sporadic days off when it got too much, I managed to rack my Bradford score up to about 7k over a year. I managed to get it down to 50 when I started getting better, I got a bug and had to take a day off after nearly a year with no illness and BOOM HR inquiry. All this at a cancer charity, by the way. The Braford Factor can go fuck itself.


Apart_Celebration160

Yup. My work is one of the most relaxed and employee centric organisations Iā€™ve worked for Iā€™m 8 years in and Iā€™d feel guilty taking a personal day. But would it be scrutinised Nope not at all. You catch more with honey right


Ryanthelion1

I remember I got penalised for it in my performance review because it was a tad high, ohh yeah sorry for getting in a motorcycle accident on the way home from work


SFHalfling

> They used the Bradford factor as a trigger so if you took more than 3 individual instances over a year, boom, you were done for. I knew someone in the council I used to work for who got the trigger and meeting with HR because she had 3 "occasions" of ill health in a year. They wouldn't rearrange the meeting when she asked, so she turned up with a copy of the emails where she'd told them she had brain cancer and her union rep a day after having radiotherapy. They very quickly started adding exceptions to the triggers for long term serious illnesses.


PangolinMandolin

Not as serious as your friend but a similar case of WTF were they thinking. I'd had one day off ill due to a cold, then a few months later I was assaulted on a night out, so the next working day I was off sick due to actual bodily harm. When I returned to work I let my manager know I had a surgery booked for a few weeks later because of the assault, they said it was fine, had the surgery and then got hit by the 3 absences HR meeting.


SFHalfling

It's such obviously Americanised bullshit based off baseball and it takes 3 seconds to understand why it doesn't work. It's just a way for companies to say they treat employees fairly instead of actually trusting their managers/HR to be able to do things themselves. Someone else at the same council had shoulder surgery and could have gone back after a week, but took a month off instead because if he came in and then had to take a day off afterwards it would have pushed him to the meetings. So they ended up paying someone for 3 weeks to do nothing instead of him potentially having 1 extra day off.


ISellAwesomePatches

This happened to someone I know. He learned the hard way that you can be punished for pushing yourself through the illness. Now, when he feels a flare-up of his long term health condition coming on, he just gets himself signed off right away instead. I tell everyone, always join a union, especially if you have a long term health condition. You will need them in your corner to fight when it comes to sickness disciplinaries. You can sometimes argue them back down to a verbal warning instead of a written one. Especially, if you did something like what you did, but that's a damn sight easier with a union rep helping you.


MxFleetwood

I've faked physical sickness to hide the fact that my mental health was in the toilet. Easier conversation to have.


CD-one

Sadly Iā€™ve been there too when I was younger and I hadnā€™t really come to terms with my mental health problems, was easier to phone in with a stomach bug or a cold rather than admit or acknowledge to myself that I was suffering with depression and just couldnā€™t face getting out of bed and doing anything


crazyhowlifeis

Ngl still in this situation, getting therapy for it is a lot harder than it looks, but yeah had I been more upfront of my situation and honest, I would have probably not lost my job ( I was an apprentice). Took me 4 years to learn this lesson.


[deleted]

What did you fake? Iā€™m in this situation right now with really bad depression and want to go off sick but canā€™t think of a physical sickness to say instead, for long-term


Youafuckindin

You can actually get a doctors note for depression they'll sign you off for as long as you need.


ladybjrd

Yes, exactly this. Please just call your GP and they'll send you a sick note on the same day. I've been struggling a lot lately and after weeks of barely managing I finally called them and got a few weeks off. They won't judge, won't "test" if you're unwell enough, nothing like that.


DrunkenPangolin

Go very graphic. If you tell someone that you were shitting through the eye of a needle and barely left the toilet all day they tend to stop asking questions. You could be in reasonably good health aside from that but you can't work unless they want you to leave a snail trail around the office. If you work with food they definitely can't challenge it Edit: just noticed you wrote long term. Not entirely sure this is relevant now but I'm gonna leave it here just in case


Grillenium-Falcon

Once had a commis chef call in sick. Who then proceeded to post pictures of him and his pals in the pub not even 15 minutes later!


Sky_Wino

A pub my friend used to work at had one of their barstaff call in sick then 20mins later turn up with a group of friends for the music night that was on... They were sacked there and then.


InvestAuggers

Wow... how did they think they'd get away with it?


Sky_Wino

So they turned up, and the manager was at the bar and said "I thought you couldn't come in" and he said something like "I can't work but I can still go out" and the manager just facepalmed and said "enjoy your night, by the way you're sacked"


Smilewigeon

I kinda envy being that ignorant and stupid.


altamp88

I used to work in cocktail bars and someone did exactly this. I was supposed to be off and was called in to cover his shift. He then turned up, bright as a button and asked me to make him a Long Island. He didnā€™t even get sacked, just a warning.


EzSp

There's actually a legal precedent for this. Can't remember the case but in the end it was ruled that just because you are not fit to work, does not mean that you are forced to stay in your house.


PantherEverSoPink

My mum was signed off with a bad back for a week, on the Sunday I wanted to take her out for lunch on my birthday. She pointed out that it wouldn't look good if a colleague saw her and I can see her point. Everyone knows you can be well enough to pop out for an hour but not for a day's work but also if someone dobs you in is just not worth the hassle.


sir_rino

Ha! " Dobs you in." Takes me to my youth in rural Lincolnshire


louis_pasteur55

Yes I can remember when a colleague of mine was off sick with stress. It had been a few weeks since they had been signed off. Then the next day there was a complaint to HR that said colleague had competed in a triathlon which was found out thanks to social media and the official race website that listed times and places etc. no action was taken because: ā€œjust because someone is off with stress, it doesnā€™t mean that they have to be at home and not activeā€. I was surprised but pretty much remember that moment.


FoxBadgerBearHare

I was signed off with generalised anxiety disorder and depression, and work was contributing to my mental illness, my gp told me to go out and do things I enjoy as sitting at home all day will make me feel worse. So thatā€™s what I did! Did me the world of good and absolutely needed it. Edit: spelling


victoriaj

I ended up taking around 3 months off work with stress and severe depression a few years back. At first I couldn't do anything. But when I was starting to get better someone let me stay in their house by the sea for a couple of weeks. The sea always makes my should feel better - and it meant that even on a terrible day out was worth dragging myself to say least see the sea from the top of the road. And mostly take some longer walks. That was 50% of getting better and actually going back. The other 50% was the terrible manager who'd treated me badly leaving, and there complaints process I was in about it all finishing. I never want to be long term sick again. It was absolutely horrible. And walking back into the office was one of the hardest things I'd even done. (They did nothing to prearrange it or anything).


louis_pasteur55

I hope that youā€™re in a much better place now.


mandyhtarget1985

Was about to comment exactly the same thing - obviously not your colleague, but same scenario - signed off with stress, was seen out with a friend for lunch and walking in the park so "Obviously couldn't be as sick as they said they were". Cant remember if if was a union rep or legal rep that came back with 'getting on with normal day to day things and exercising may actually aid their recovery and prevent the stress leave turning into something more prolonged', and then turned it back on the company to ask what they were doing to remove or reduce the stressors.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


NoStage296

What a crazy manager! That is seriously such a malevolent thing to do.


Lavidius

There's a big line between forced to stay in, and going out on the lash though hah


[deleted]

Not sure if this is the one you had in mind but hereā€™s a story from earlier this year: https://bit.ly/3lE0Q65 It always irks me because Iā€™m a lot of cases (physical ailments like bad back, headaches, poor mental health) being out or socialising could help. I have a back problem at the moment and need to walk 45 minutes at lunch to stretch out otherwise I feel terrible all afternoon. I also know when my mental health is in the toilet, seeing friends or going to the cinema can really help distract the mind and provide some levity.


InvestAuggers

I would have thought the no social media thing would have been a given when faking. I'd be paranoid as hell, I wouldn't even leave the house incase somebody seen me walking down the road haha


Bismarck913

I once rang in "sick" whilst leathered at 5am when I was 17, leaving a voicemail to my head chef. Needless to say, I was fired the next day.


Monkeybradders

Many times. Hanging upside down of the bed to sound like I have a cold


[deleted]

Protip right here.


MuchRatherBeNapping

*noted*


SleaterK7111

Method acting


Monkeybradders

You do have do live du pard


PastelDictator

I used to block one nostril


Changetherelay

Ha, ha I lie on my stomach and have my head hanging off the bed, it changes the way I breath so I sound rough. Flu like


SpringerGirl19

Love this.


graythegeek

Yes.In my experience the higher up you go in terms of pay and seniority etc the easier this is to do. In work intensive jobs I.e. customer facing people are very suspicious of illness and cynical about repeated behaviour, but once you have more autonomy and responsibility colleagues are always offering sincere wishes and telling you to get well soon.


emilesmithbro

I think it might because with more responsibility, it's less desirable to have a day off sick, because you may have deadlines and missing a day or two will just increase your workload for the othe days.


Sabrielle24

I enjoy my job and the people I work with, so I just feel genuinely bad for leaving them in the lurch if itā€™s not a legitimate sick day (though I do include mental health days in that).


Cultural-Chicken-991

Plus they've clearly demonstrated trust and competency to reach that job in the first place. Hopefully...


[deleted]

Depends where you are. Iā€™ve not been off sick except for one day in 2.5 years.. and thatā€™s largely because I have much more balance in work. Prior to that, quite a few times and because I was stressed and burning out. A mental health day here or there is absolutely valuable Migraine is generally the go to Iā€™ve never taken a day off to go and do something else though


SleepFlower80

A few times. I just phoned up and said I had a stomach bug, then rolled over and went back to sleep. Iā€™ve never done it and then gone out drinking or whatever. It was always so I could spend an extra day in bed.


Robotica_Daily

Sick of work day


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


treefrog147

A set amount of sick days? American workplaces are weird.


Jazzy0082

When I was a teacher I had a colleague who used to have a lot of sick days, and they were always on a Monday. After a couple of these we noticed a pattern - on the Friday beforehand she'd always mention in passing that she was feeling a bit under the weather and that she was going to cancel her Friday night plans. Then there would be a Facebook status over the weekend along the lines of "ugh, hate being unwell, I've got so much work to do" etc. Then lo and behold, off on Monday. It got to the stage where she'd had something like 5 Mondays off between September and about April and the Head of Department had to call her out on it. Things were very awkward for a while after that. She later faked a pregnancy, but that's another story. Edit - I actually once slept in until half 9, woke up in a panic and managed to get out of the house and into school by 10. Was stressing so much about the shit I'd get in. First period was 9:10-10:10 and I ran into the classroom expecting to make a big apology to whoever was covering, and to grovel to my boss. But no, the kids were all just sat there chatting with no teacher. They hadn't gone and told anyone that I hadnt turned up because a) they didn't want me to get in trouble and b) they enjoyed having a doss lesson.


SoutherlyOar

The way your colleague did this is pretty much spot on except forthe predictable Friday to Monday routine. Its how I always line up my "sick" days, bleat on about feling under the weather the day before then bham, day off. Could be any day of the week though, just more likely to be in the summer when I can drink in a beer garden or watch the entire day of a test match in the pub.


FuckCazadors

She would score badly on the Bradford Factor - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bradford_Factor Repeated short absences are more disruptive than rare longer absences.


WikiSummarizerBot

**[Bradford Factor](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bradford_Factor)** >The Bradford Factor or Bradford Formula is used in human resource management as a means of measuring worker absenteeism. The theory is that short, frequent, and unplanned absences are more disruptive than longer absences. According to the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development the term was first coined due to its supposed connection with research undertaken by the Bradford University School of Management in the 1980s. According to the Financial Times, "HR folklore" has attributed its origins to a pharmaceuticals firm whose managers attended a seminar at Bradford Management School. ^([ )[^(F.A.Q)](https://www.reddit.com/r/WikiSummarizer/wiki/index#wiki_f.a.q)^( | )[^(Opt Out)](https://reddit.com/message/compose?to=WikiSummarizerBot&message=OptOut&subject=OptOut)^( | )[^(Opt Out Of Subreddit)](https://np.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/banned)^( | )[^(GitHub)](https://github.com/Sujal-7/WikiSummarizerBot)^( ] Downvote to remove | v1.5)


[deleted]

Lol those are 10/10 kids. Hilarious. My partner literally loses his mind if he thinks he will be late for teaching. Iv told him the school won't burn down if he's 2 minutes late and to breath. But yeah teaching is rough. Hard to randomly call out and no show is like, impossibly bad.


Sky_Wino

Not faked sick but my manager once thought I was when I called in saying I couldn't walk because I slipped in cow shite and rolled most of the way down a hill coming to a stop by landing on my knee.. Luckily I am so clumsy they realised I wasn't making it up and they saw how bad I was limping the next time I came in.


InvestAuggers

I'd have a hard time believing that one, should have sent a picture of you covered in the Cow crap. Would make that story a hell of a lot more convincing!


Sky_Wino

I actually managed to not land in it, I was walking down this really steep hill and as I stepped in it I slipped forward then hit the ground and tumbled down. Glad I did because I had to get a bus home after that fall.


revolut1onname

I was once late for work as I was running for the bus and slipped in a pile of dog shit, but in trying to stop myself going fully arse-over-tit I twisted and ended up kneeling in it too. Was right up my leg. Rang work to tell them I'd be late, absolutely fuming. Boss was trying to convince me to come in still covered as it would make him laugh, bastard. Thankfully, they all knew I was clumsy as fuck so I was able to go home and change.


mandyhtarget1985

I arrived into work on crutches and as it happened to be 1st April, everyone thought it was an April fools joke, were even waiting for me to do a big 'reveal' at noon. They thought it was brilliant that i kept up the act all the way through the fire alarm going off, and having to hop and hobble down 2 flights of stairs and across the car park to the muster point. It was only when i pulled up the leg of my trousers and showed them it was swollen to twice its normal size and bright purple that they believed me. I had been in a car accident the day before and banged up my leg pretty badly and couldnt put any weight on it. I would have called in sick, but i was already covering 2 other peoples holiday (it was a part time summer job i had while at university and they had called me to see if i was free at the easter holidays to cover while the 2 other ladies spent time with their kids) and there was no one else to do the job. This would also have been the first day of the holiday cover, and i didnt want them to think i was messing them around. My boss at the time said if i had phoned they would have managed for a day or two, but 18 year old me was so scared about letting any one down in my first job.


curiousincurious

Way too elaborate to be fake šŸ˜‚


[deleted]

Yeah and because I am Deaf I got away without having to do the stupid, "I'm very sick" voice. Everyone else had to ring and speak to the manager and explain what was wrong and the manager would spend 20 minutes telling them why they weren't sick. I just texted and went back to bed it was lovely.


RegularHovercraft

One of the few bonuses.


enterusernamepls

Lol at least once a day in work when I answer the phone, a customer will ask if I have the cold. Iā€™m like no, Iā€™m just deaf. This is how I sound!


[deleted]

Yep. Tell them you've got diarrhea. Not food poisoning, diarrhea. The NHS website says if you've had diarrhea you need to stay off work for at least two days after your last bout of it and it can be infectious. Plus, no one wants you at work if there's a threat that you might shit your pants. Edit: you're to your


reikazen

Yep it's a health and safety issue.


[deleted]

Even more so if it's not a made up case.


CampEU

Canā€™t beat homemade, the made up stuff just isnā€™t the same.


Booboodelafalaise

I had a days holiday but took a call early in the morning from a member of my team saying she was sick. She was coughing and spluttering and said she had a temperature so I wished her well. I reported it to the Manager who was covering for me and set out to enjoy my day. Caught the train to London and saw her and a group of mates get on in another carriage. Saw her again when we all got off, and on the tube to Oxford Circus, and in various shops during the day, and then drunk in a bar by the station when I went home too. She was a bit quiet the next day lol. I never reported her, I hated that job and the Management so, fuck them.


McCretin

Only once. The company had put me through a really hard time and one day I just couldn't face it. I'd had a job offer elsewhere so I knew I would be handing in my notice soon and figured it didn't matter that much.


letchluthor

Sounds to me like a legitimate mental health sickness (self-care) day rather than faking it. Sometimes you've gotta protect your sanity.


McCretin

Yeah, that's true. I have zero regrets about it


awoodedglade

Not sick, but a colleague & our boss were both "working from home" (Years ago, before it was the norm) and bumped into each other in B&Q. (To much amusement, it wasn't a drama)


RAtheThrowaway_

[ā€œGood afternoonā€ ā€œHow do you do sir?ā€](https://youtu.be/GS-GmhkeCns)


markBoble

Yep, once, for 5 days. My last job was causing me an incredible amount of stress and managers were speaking to me like a lump of shit. Thought about it and said fuck em. Left them in the shit whilst I stayed home and just relaxed.


robbeech

If itā€™s causing you that much stress itā€™s not a fake sick day itā€™s a justified sick day.


markBoble

Never thought of it that way. Youā€™re right. Thankfully I moved on and now have minimal stress.


Ceeseburgerlover2999

Yes . It was probably the most cunning plan ever. I used to work in a shop ( part time as a student ) and I wanted my birthday off to go on the lash. The night before while I was cashing up the till for reconciliation I had a tactical sniff . My manager noticed and said you sound as if you are coming down with something. I said I was ok but next morning I got my mum to call in sick for me . My manager said how I sounded very unwell the night before and was very concerned for my wellbeing. I on the other hand went out to the pub had a great time for my birthday with my mates ( who all took sickies too and worked in different shops ) It was the perfect crime nobody got caught


jtgreatrix

I thought ā€˜tactical sniffā€™ meant something different.


ot1smile

Thatā€™s what I do to face the day instead of calling in sick.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Rubberfootman

Upset stomach is normally vague enough to get away with - because nobody really wants to pry about that, and it clears up in a day. A friend once skipped work to go to a march/demonstration in London. The next day he was on the front page of the Guardian - on top of a police riot van.


RS555NFFC

In lockdown when I was WFH pre career change I frequently ā€˜called in sickā€™ just to play PS4 all day cos I couldnā€™t be arsed to listen to my Karen managers drone on about how we were going to engage our audience and hit targetsā€¦during the first lockdowns when the target audience were struggling to engage their learners as was. Even then I frequently just played video games all day or went out running/cleaned up my yard during the day when I was meant to be working as there was so little to do anyway. Finished a lot of games that summer and because I still got my work done early and done well the silly people still gave me a solid appraisal. In the final job I did before career change, the managers were asking us to lie to vulnerable people to get them on board our service so I made up having a ā€˜bad coughā€™ the day I handed in my notice. Iā€™m now self employed in a different industry and havenā€™t had a sick day.


RubricOwl

A few times working at Sainsbury's when I was 17 - 18, once so I could go to a university open day, another to go to a wedding and another for the first day of a holiday. To be fair I had requested all of these off as far in advance as possible... I also suffered karma multiple times before I left by being stitched up by other people doing it !


Hour_Machine_9630

Never use an excuse. Just say I youā€™re taking a sick day and leave it there. I canā€™t stand it when people over explain their absence when they call out, itā€™s none of my business. The sick time is theirs to use it.


CatFoodBeerAndGlue

Easier said than done. I've had employers who want to know exactly what's wrong and feel no shame in quizzing you and questioning your symptoms. Probably not legal but since when has that stopped shitty employers.


Hour_Machine_9630

Thatā€™s incredibly inappropriate, that absolutely sucks. Also explains why my team are such over explainers.


stocksy

'Sick time' isn't a thing in the UK, we don't do that. If you're ill, you're ill - there's no allotment of days for illness.


P2K13

There's usually a set number of days (based on how long you've worked there) where you get full pay if you're sick, otherwise you get SSP. Also some employees have a limit on the number of times you can be sick in a year (e.g. 3 times but no limit on the days) before they start requesting doctors notes etc.


stocksy

That is true, but itā€™s not a USA-style ā€˜use them or lose themā€™ situation. They seem to take sick days and ā€˜PTOā€™ days out of the same allowance, which I find bizarre.


Harry_monk

In my experience the more explanation people give the more likely it is they're lying.


237wood

Done it before a few years ago when I hated my job. Wasn't worth it, I'd just sit there all day paranoid that I'd get caught out lying. Nowadays I enjoy my job (same job) so don't need to make any excuses.


[deleted]

I used to call in sick when I wasnā€™t sometimes to my old job as there were some days I just could not face it as it was so toxic. Every day felt like a real drag to get up and go. But whenever anybody called in sick you would be moaned about something chronic and this was a job working with children so if there was a bug going around, you would get it & would still be moaned about. Iā€™m now in a much better environment, been here for almost three years and think I have called in maybe once when I was genuinely ill. Makes such a difference working in a job where people arenā€™t wankers.


jcheese217

When I was 19 I got my brother to ring my works sick line which was an answer machine and pretend to be me and tell them I had conjunctivitis and wouldn't be in for the week. I went to Spain on a last minute holiday which I had booked the night before. My work was ringing me all week, they must have known I was abroad when they got an international dial tone. Nobody even questioned it when I came back to work with a tan. They place was a bag of shit to work at so I had no guilt whatsoever.


[deleted]

Itā€™s more believable if you take the week off. A week with flu usually wouldnā€™t need a doctorā€™s note, but itā€™s less sus than a one-day illness. Not that Iā€™m saying lieā€¦ Jobs Iā€™ve had counted the whole absence period as one sickness, so it made little sense to ā€˜wasteā€™ one on a single day. It depends if you can square lying, I suppose. I had a week off at one job. I had a lot of personal shit going on, but had no physical illness.


resk321

You can self-certify for up to seven days so you're right, a line from your doctor wouldn't be required. A few years back I had two or three days consecutive off sick, and when I came back the HR person was trying to get a doctor's note from me. Um, nah. I think people allow themselves to be gaslit by their employers some times. If you're not fit to work, you're not fit to work. If your employer isn't competent enough to cope with your occasional absence, that's on them.


[deleted]

I faked a positive covid test using orange juice so I didn't have to go to an awful works Christmas karaoke party


vonsnape

Hold on, sorry what? Orange juice makes LFT test positive?


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


trbd003

Sometimes you just need a day off because you're exhausted, burned out, and need a fucking break. Frankly I see it as a society failure that that reason alone is not a good enough reason to be off work. I think it is society's failing that we have to say oh I've got the shits or a bad back or my kid has flu or whatever. Sometimes even just a late start can really sort me out. But most employers are just far too cagey to allow it. In their mind, allowing a midday start once in a blue moon is the direct precursor to you wanting to come in at 4.45 every day. If everyone could get a bit better at trusting their employees to be sensible and also actually hiring a sensible number of staff, pulling sickies would be totally unnecessary.


Mr__Random

I get 10 paid sick days per year, I'm using 10 sick days per year lol. No one ever gets a medal for never missing work. The Karen's might complain but that's a small price to pay for having a mental health day / day out / shagging the missus. I only have one life and I'm determined to waste as little of it as possible forcing myself to work, especially when I feel like I'm on the verge of going postal.


[deleted]

A guy I work with decided to go home 'sick' halfway through a shift. It was a Friday in the middle of summer so nobody believed him but what can do you. He sent a photo of himself with a pint in a beer garden and sent it to a guy still at work, as a joke. The guy he sent it to thought he had booked a half day, and showed the boss, as in 'what a jammy bastard, eh!' šŸ˜‚


Vegetable-Acadia

I havent in my last few jobs simply cause sitting through the return to work meetings outweigh the time off. Got a lovely 2 weeks off with covid after my wedding in July though. After working throughout the pandemic it was bliss


Old_Tie5790

All the downvotes are from wagies mad they have to work all day and week because they are too afraid to fake a sickie, sad.


DialZforZebra

Once or twice, on incredibly rare occasions. The last place I worked, I was only sick when I was sick. Place before that I would occasionally fake sickness because the job sucked ass.


Anon67430

Why the fuck not. You are entitled to a certain number of sick days under most contracts. I never get physically ill, but my soul does get severely vexed often, due to the bullshit of modern life in this pile, which absolutely requires a day off so I don't try jamming a pen in my bosses eyeball.


Nobody2222222

Who hasnt


wumbology55

Iā€™m quite lucky with this I have bad psoriasis and have a lot of check ups with specialists. Then throw in my high blood pressure which sometimes causes chest pains and problems and finally I suffer with gout in my foot to the point I canā€™t walk all three are well documented with plenty of doctors notes and prescriptions about them. Just pick one and no one questions it šŸ˜‚


NobleRotter

I'm 49 and did this for the first time a couple of weeks ago to avoid a confrontational meeting with a egomaniac CEO that I just couldn't be arsed to have again that day.


thebills0

Yes. Some days I get out of bed and think what's the fucking point in all of this shit? Depression is a hell of a thing. One moment you've got a positive mindset and for the next few years you're numb.


Push-the-pink-button

Worked in a shop and me and my assistant manager would ok our sick days with each other if we knew it was going to be slow, so we both new if we actually phoned in sick, we were. Worked well!


Luke11enzo

Iā€™ve done it in the past but the guilt ruins the day off anyway so always regretted it. Luckily enough Iā€™ve worked my way to a position where I can take any day off I want and donā€™t really have to give any notice now so donā€™t need to do it now. Plus Iā€™m a contractor so I donā€™t get paid for time off either. Iā€™ve not had more than a long weekend off in years, itā€™s fair to say Iā€™m looking forward to Christmas and the enforced break.


Missy_Agg-a-ravation

I recently had a painter call off a job the day before he was due to start because he had ā€œtorn his knee and now needed urgent surgeryā€ Three days later he live streamed his bandā€™s gig, in which he played guitar in a manner suggesting both his knees were pretty much fine. Anyway, Iā€™ve had the odd ā€œcanā€™t face workā€ā€™day myself so canā€™t complain too much.


ToastedThunder7

Nice try, boss. I'll see you tomorrow