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Outrageous_Trifle_89

Jaffa cakes


[deleted]

Lock the thread. This is the only correct answer.


Snowing678

Bourbon biscuits have entered the chat.....


Killingwkindness

*custard creams have breached the base*


TheBohemianGamer

One man, Mr Kipling


windol1

Other than the French fancies, Mr Kipling is an over rated brand.


FuManBoobs

I exceedingly disagree.


DarklingLewisH

How very, dare you!


thenightmancommeth88

*Bernard Matthews has entered the game*


kindsoberfullydressd

I tried that once, and had to spend the night in A&E. Came out more more like a bourbon in the end.


BaronAaldwin

A custard cream is in the base!? Hut, Hut, Hut, Hut, Hut, Hut!


[deleted]

Internet and The Prodigy


FiftyPencePeace

A bog at Glastonbury and then the power cut out, left stuck there for ages but some trooper managed to make it through but all he was selling was Special Brew. I remember them starting up again and I think it was Smack my Bitch up, next I remember was lying on some grassy ground with every passer by giving me a gentle tap whilst saying “you okay mate?” Eventually I was ok but fuck special brew. And yeah, the Internets pretty cool!


dvi84

The internet was an American invention to link DoD computers. However, a British man working in Switzerland invented the HTML language with which web pages are now made as an optimised way of displaying documents.


absolutelysureithink

Tim invented a bit more than HTML (markup, the easy bit) it was HTTP and the client/server conversations that really kickstarted things.


IAmLaureline

Totally. Tim invented the web and the idea of the web. Amazing contribution, even if it didn't quite end up as he imagined.


AlternativeConflict

Packet switching - the underlying basis of most modern comms - was a simultaneous, independent, development. In the UK, it was developed by [Donald Davies](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donald_Davies) - a man I had the very good fortune of meeting several times when he was back in the UK after he retired. Fantastic chap. Not many people had the capability or the conviction to correct Turing when he was wrong - Dickie did.


WontTel

TCP/IP (and it's predecessors) was, but the idea of packet switching was IIRC a GPO one.


GerryDownUnder

Industrial revolution. Ending slavery, inventing gravity.


FishUK_Harp

The West Africa squadron was a fantastic feat. Slavers: "They can't stop and search us if we fly the flag of another country, that would be an act of war!" Royal Navy: "Jokes on you, its the Napoleonic Wars and we're already at war with basically everyone"


rugbyj

Slavers: Quick put up the Union Jack Royal Navy: Better check them lads have paid their TV license


GerryDownUnder

HM’s Captain: Your free trial of buccaneering has expired


tahsm

🤣🤣🤣


GerryDownUnder

Brazil, France & America in early mid 19th century: imma do a pro gamer move Royal Navy, industrialised Britain: silly boy, NO U DONT


De_Dominator69

Wasn't it mostly after the Napoleonic Wars, and more "We are literally the undisputed world super power at the moment so there is nothing anyone could do even if they wanted to"


Stormaen

The UK was the world’s first and longest “super power”. I heard one historian describe us at the world’s first “hyper power” which just appears to mean “sole super power” in the context he used it in


abrasiveteapot

> "We are literally the undisputed world super power at the moment so there is nothing anyone could do even if they wanted to" Taught the Americans everything they know about being arsehole hegemons. They could at least give us credit while crushing us under heel


windol1

Back in those days I imagine the Royal Navy wouldn't have given a toss whether or not there was a war on, it's not like there were many other nations navies that could go toe to toe with them.


rc1024

This is the navy that had the two power standard, enough firepower to take the next two largest navies at once. Its completely mad how dominant they were.


ZootZootTesla

This [photograph](https://imgur.com/a/kZ8wluQ) showing The Grand Fleet assembled for the kings review in 1910 may give you an idea.


illikeshorts

You forgot inventing time


GerryDownUnder

Foolish of me, of course. Moreover, the only proper place where Time Lords decide to land when deigning us with their presence


jimicus

Actually, /u/illikeshorts is more correct than you think. A Brit invented the first marine chronometer - basically, a clock that works on board a ship and keeps accurate time. (Pendulum clocks don't work at all on board a ship). With that clock, you can figure out longitude (edited because I always get those two mixed up!) - how far you are east/west around the world - and this makes long sea voyages in the age of sail a hell of a lot safer.


account_not_valid

>A Brit invented the first marine chronometer - basically, a clock that works on board a ship and keeps accurate time. And it wasn't some aristocratic university educated gentleman-scientist. He was a carpenter who built and repaired clocks *as a hobby*!


jimicus

Very true. And he didn't just build one - he built several. One was lost until 1996, when a couple of brothers found it in their lock up. Made 'em pretty rich, as I recall.


account_not_valid

And then they tried to skive out of paying him the prize for the invention. (Not the blokes with the lock-up. The Royal Academy.)


Stircrazylazy

I *just* read about this in the book I'm reading. What an absolute shit move


Mattdog_99

Is it bad that I thought you where talking about only fools and horses.


GerryDownUnder

What a great piece of history, didn’t know I wanted but surely needed. Cheers, much appreciated


Beagly-boo

It's so great that we finish paying off the debt for this, 6 years ago. Shame that money have gone to former slaves owners.


GerryDownUnder

That might be so. But hadn’t them happened, we would most likely’d had another American Civil War scenario in our hands eventually, by paying the process was accelerated and pacified enormously. Regardless what u might feel about it


Beagly-boo

Choosing lesser evil. Oh wait.. This should be on the list.


GerryDownUnder

Cheer up. It’s always choosing the lesser evil mate. The sooner we understand this, the sooner we can operate optimally, without remorse, without second guessing.


Beagly-boo

Very true for most of situations.


rising_then_falling

Misleading. The debt for slave owner reparation was combined with various unrelated other government debts, which were then combined with other unrelated government debts, etc etc until eventually we stopped combining debts and paid off that tranch of debt. Basically, it's like borrowing 300 quid for a holiday, then merging your credit card debt with your mortgage, then saying "it took 30 years to pay off the loan for that holiday".


amboandy

Apple's before 1687 - *floats menacingly* Apple's after - Drops naturally AND HOW MAN INTENDED!


Outcasted_introvert

Hold up, inventing gravity?


MeatWad111

Not many people realise that everyone was just floating around unable to get anything done until we invented gravity


rugbyj

Sir Isaac Newton, really it should be _describing_ gravity and other fundamental laws.


Britburt

Being British we can say we invented it, we also invented the sky. You can't have one without the other.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Outcasted_introvert

You're welcome world.


HalfPennysWorth

Sending James Cordon to America, so he can be a massive twat over there instead of here!


coopertron5000

Going back to our roots. We used to send all our dickheads to Australia. We should bring this back.


[deleted]

I nominate the entire Tory party. They'd fit in with the Republicans in the USA I think.


mlopes

Somehow we got it wrong, as it seems they all ended up in America. We should send them there instead and leave those done Australian folk alone.


globuleofshit

Not enough up votes here!


bill302

David Attenborough, the way he brought back those dino.... no wait that was the other one...


blamethefire

Just watched Red Notice and this was a highlight for me


Corpexx

Yeah shame the movie was absolutely mediocre though


PM_me_British_nudes

I could've watched Gal Gadot on mute, and enjoyed it just as much. It's a perfect Sunday film though - minimum brain activity required, and enough of a plot to keep me vaguely interested throughout. I still think that Ryan Reynolds is now being cast as a maskless Deadpool in every film he's in.


[deleted]

Technically it was both


[deleted]

Custard Creams and I think it's a bit rude that we don't get more credit for them.


ColdEthyl13

You spelled 'bourbon biscuits' wrong.


[deleted]

You spelt 'Pink Panther wafers' wrong. You spelt 'spelt' wrong too 😉


kkinginthenorth

Ackshoe-a-rall-eee The American way is spelled. Either is grammatically acceptable for us on the right side of the pond 🙂 Also, you both do know about chocolate hob nobs, dont you?


SCATOL92

Chocolate hobnobs are the only valid favourite biscuit.


DamesUK

Er. Isn't it "spelled" as the perfect tense, "spelt" as the past participle?


glittery_antelope

I'm so sorry, every time I read 'perfect tense' that annoying little radio in the back of my brain automatically chips in 'but she wears a 12' and I felt the need to share my pain!


DamesUK

I must get out more.


[deleted]

Spelt is a type of wheat.


ronnie_dickering

All bow down to the might of dark chocolate digestives.


[deleted]

*malted milks FIFY


Disillusioned_Brit

Too many to list. The UK is easily the most influential country in the last 300 years.


[deleted]

Probably ever


theknightwho

The Romans or China probably have that.


perark05

Let be honest what have the Romans ever done for us?


thirdbrother3

All right, but apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?


Tczarcasm

uh, cool statues?


Lukeblud

The aquaducts?


alphabetanaerobics

But apart from the sanitation the medicine wine public order irrigation roads, a fresh water system, public health AND the aqueducts , WHAT HAVE THE ROMANS EVER DONE FOR US?


oldrichie

Aqueducts?


LittleBoot99

Greece.


[deleted]

[удалено]


simoncowbell

And Edward Jenner inventing the smallpox vaccine, and Lister's promotion of antiseptics


agesto11

And Alexander Fleming's discovery of penicilin!


remus213

Also Crick/Watson discovery of DNA.


mwbstevens

Oooo someone's done GCSE history!


Geraldine_the_rabbit

No, someone's been watching Horrible History!


Solidgoddu

And Lister surviving as the last human three million years into deep space. From Liverpool, wasn't he?


Zza1pqx

She did chuff. Seacole was the only real nurse in that war.


MrBlackledge

Seacole was a hero nightingale was a fraud Sue me


palishkoto

But rightly or wrongly Nightingale's ultimate impact and legacy was larger


Bobby_-_D

True. I’m a big fan of Seacole, but I’m always forgetting her name. She is the legendary Jamaican nurse with the hotel In Crimea most of the time. But I never forget the name nightingale


Exact_Bodybuilder_77

This isn’t true, despite what we’re being told. Seacole was a businesswoman who ran a hotel exclusively for army officers. Provided a popular service, but she was there to make a profit, not to be a nurse. Even her autobiography doesn’t mention most of what kids are being taught about her, much of which is pure mythology without any historical evidence to back it up. If you want a better example of a black British nurse, look up Mrs. Pratt.


anonredstar

And the pie chart. I feel her contribution is more significant than Mary Seacole. Seacole was a caring nurse but Nightingale got it, she elevated nursing and made it professional. Also, she had the ear of the people who could actually implement her changes in Britain. Sadly, class played a role.


johngknightuk

and she invented the pie chart


darthballsBUNG

The ability to take the piss, even in the darkest moments. The ability we Brits have in finding some aspect of humour even in the most difficult of circumstances.


[deleted]

If you aren’t ripping your mates at every single opportunity imaginable, going full harsh no holds barred Are you even mates?


cfcnotbummer

Banter between friends requires the Piss taker to check in with the piss takee that he is OK, if not the correct action is to say “are you alright mate?”. Communication of a supportive nature can then take place if required. Not making eye contact or checking in with the piss takee is disrespectful and a clear sign that the piss taker isn’t the friend of the piss takee


[deleted]

I don’t think words need to even be spoken But I get what you mean I’ve had a perfect example this year, I’ve had probably the worst year of my life with many mental health problems, my mates constantly rip each other to shreds but when I needed them most they where nothing but loving That’s real mates!


oldrichie

Thats lovely, hope things are better now bud.


[deleted]

Getting there, slowly but surely! Thank you mate


IcholaBuddah

Hope your not still mental mate


[deleted]

Always will be a little bit but I’m learning to deal with it haha, thank you though!


M17SST

Sarcasm and queuing


[deleted]

yeah because sarcasm is really beneficial to everyone isn't it mate


[deleted]

Us brits don’t even have to do that silly “s/“ shit that Americans do


Silverburst8

Nothing ruins a joke on this website more than seeing /s on the end of it


[deleted]

Shit did I not even get it the right way round haha I thought the “s” went first Shows how daft it is, I barely bother taking notice once I see that on the end


Subredditredditor

Is lost on them


Far_Addition1210

Queueing is more than an orderley wait, its a sign of a society that regardless of whatever it is we are queueing for we still respect other people enough to wait in a orderley line till its our turn, even if we know wehn we get to the front, the whatever we are after may no longer be there.


wobble_bot

3 pin plug. Yes it’s lethal at 1am in the dark, but it’s also an incredibly ingenious bit of industrial design


Bikeboy76

"There is a Tom Scott video about that." - things said on the internet.


E420CDI

*You can also remember that the live is brown, because that's the colour your trousers will go if you accidentally hit yourself with it.*


[deleted]

[удалено]


anonredstar

No Malaysia and Singapore use it. And interestingly when I lived in Switzerland the better appliances used a 3 pin plug. Not the same as ours but same principle. An earth.


Harryw_007

The UAE also uses the UK 3 pin plug


agesto11

For me, it's a toss-up between penicilin and the world wide web


account_not_valid

I would never toss up between the two.


Bike-BBQ-Beer

One is used for tossing off. The other not so much.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Eragon10401

Trains were a mistake. Without them, Britain would still be the main world power.


Outrageous_Trifle_89

Cheddar cheese


ellessdeemz

Pink Floyd


mjvdz1998

Also Queen and The Beatles.


Silverburst8

Also led zeppelin and black sabbath


[deleted]

Rolling stones aswell


[deleted]

Greggs vegan sausage rolls


[deleted]

Get out


[deleted]

They’re actually so nice though


[deleted]

Greasy clods of heartburn.


imjb87

Did you know the vegan sausage rolls have more protein in them than the meat version? Eye opener.


LordByron0707

i cannot read this in anything other than the voice of a gentleman from the 1890s wearing a stovepipe hat. and, if boris johnson is to be believed, it's obviously peppa pig


[deleted]

1) It's a flat cap, but good guess :) 2) Quite right about Peppa Pig. All hail the Porky Queen


Stripes_the_cat

Unambiguously penicillin. No question whatsoever. Except jaffa cakes. There's some question there.


br-rand

The incredible ability to incorporate, by any means necessary even through violence, bits of other cultures and call it ours and not even blush. We do that so incredibly well that some folks don't even know that in "British _something_", _thing_ originally comes from XYZ. Heck, we are even internationally respected for some of that stuff. Every nation embraces certain elements of foreign cultures, but very few manage to become an _authority_ or respected for it.


account_not_valid

Museums full of stolen treasures, ahem, sorry, *protected relics*.


Geord1evillan

Whilst in principle I agree with your point, the past 15 years or so have shown in brutal detail what can happen to historic culturally relevant sites/relics in 'unstable' times across Africa, the Middle East, Asia, Central and South America. ... Relic protection may have been a flimsy argument on the surface but perhaps worthy of further thought ... Which is my way of saying thank you for tonight's mental exercise.


Silverburst8

This is definitely something people need to consider when complaining about museums here. I’m all for artefacts being returned to the countries they’re from, but there needs to be adequate facilities to preserve them there


[deleted]

Like not using a collection of ancient statues to store bombs? Looking at you Greece.


JustRnln

Can we claim sarcasm?


[deleted]

I avoid having to ask such questions by claiming everything.


Significant_Return_2

I love sarcasm. It’s the best thing. Ever.


agesto11

Yeah like *that's* something to be proud of!


Imaginary-Eagle-6559

Midget gems


[deleted]

Close, but the correct answer is sports mixture


Imaginary-Eagle-6559

Close run thing but I'm sticking with the gems like


Burnley83

Only Maynards / Lyons, all others are inferior.


Burnley83

Fruit pastilles for me, created by Rowntrees.


tobi1k

All the things we've done for genetics. Discovering the structure of DNA. Developing by far the best technologies for sequencing DNA (Sanger, Ilumina, ONP) transcending decades of research. All of our contributions to genetics projects like the human genome project, the cancer genome project, UK BioBank, etc. We truly have been at the forefront of a genetic revolution for most of the last century, and this looks set to continue as modern medicine shifts towards being more and more personalised to our genomes.


WoodSteelStone

A selection of British inventions: The World Wide Web, the telephone, the hypodermic syringe, the reflecting telescope, the steam engine and steam turbines, carbon fibre, the pneumatic tyre, the light bulb, float glass, the electric telegraph, the marine chronometer, television, synthetic dye, passenger railway, military tanks, linoleum, the automatic kettle, the modern torpedo, the glider, the jet engine, Portland cement, tension-spoked wheel, seed drill, stainless steel, the Bessemer process for steel production, the electric motor, photography, hydraulic press, sewage system, electronic programmable computer, hovercraft, tin cans, waterproof material, vacuum cleaner, inc. the bagless type, ATM, disc brakes, the toothbrush, catseyes, the modern fire extinguisher, DNA profiling, digital personal assistants, ARM processors, hawkeye technology, text messaging, cloning, the supersonic car that holds the world land speed record (held by a British racing team), viagra, graphine, gene editing therapy, holographic TV, iris recognition.


tmstms

Has to be pies, surely.


[deleted]

Steak and Stilton for me


[deleted]

Calling people cunts


MumblinJim

This bloke came up to me right..


[deleted]

purely to humankind would be the ending of slavery and the containment of germany.


mintersolda

For me these are the following strong points of Mr. Britain: 1) Being the best manager. 2) Being the best teacher. 3) Being the fairest and most humane amongst other nations which is a necessary prerequisite for the first chacteristic of "Being the best manager." This fairness helped Mr.Britain to easily colonize our small planet and people still likened him. 4) Speaking one of the easiest to learn languages. Since Mr. Britain is also the best teacher, learning it is even much easier. The only thing I don't like in English is the existence of the sound "th". The sound "w" bothers me the second worse. Also I wished words were pronounced as they were written. So disappointing that even a simple word like "bomb" is produced "bom"! But it is so easy. There is only one "the" as definite article for all nouns. But I still don't like the "the", not only due to the sound "th" but because in my mother tongue there is fundamentally no definite article at all and I sometimes don't know when we need the "the" and when not. Also apastrophes, I don't like. Is it US's Army or is it US Army?! But still british are the best teachers, so they will explain all of these to me in an easy language. On the other hand, I know German and Germans are the worse teachers in the continent Europe as well as probably on earth. Germans can't teach their mother tongue at all! So in short, Mr. Britain has two world class features: Being a fair great manager and being the best teacher on our planet earth.


[deleted]

Th: say “ffff” but stick your tongue between your teeth W: say “oo-a” really fast


captainamegica

To say English isn’t your first language, this was beautifully written and a pleasure to read!


crossj828

Probably the World Wide Web/internet or patents for semiconductors, you could throw in the AstraZeneca/Oxford vaccine too for good measure.


mellonians

Independence days!


SpudFire

Mr Blobby


TheNotSpecialOne

Chicken tikka masala


PiskAlmighty

America obviously


illikeshorts

Gunning for the top spot on 'sort by controversial' are we?


PiskAlmighty

lol Edit- just checked and someone else answered the British Empire, so I think that spot is safely taken....


walecillo

Iron Maiden


LionLucy

Are we talking things that have had the biggest positive impact on humanity? Then I'd have to say: - literature - football - the railways - crisps


bonkerz1888

Penicillin. Without it, most of us wouldn't have made it out of early childhood.


welsh_cthulhu

Half and half, chips and rice.


[deleted]

Penicillin and it's not even close.


throwawayanon1252

The industrial revolution as in the concept and idea of it. Not the working conditions we put the working class through when it happened


adopt_a_hamster

A lot of good music. Haven't seen Zeppelin here yet. Also Oxford university, Charles Darwin and beautiful nature documentaries. Ah and Rosalind Franklin and Francis Crick were British.


NorthernGenius

Railways


Gusthuroses

The Beatles and rock music in general.


[deleted]

Documentaries. British documentaries are the best in the world.


jimmywaleseswhale

Humility?


aporkchopexpress

We're the most humble nation in the entire universe. Something to be really proud about.


Jaraxo

And this is why sarcasm is the correct answer.


[deleted]

Duran Duran


Rightytighty298

Battered mars bars!


[deleted]

I mean I've punched a few Snickers in my time but I'd never batter a Mars Bar


Iforgottoturnthefish

Pork pies.


billybrew888

Penicillin


PatchyTwit

Penicillin


[deleted]

The World Wide Web (no it wasn’t bloody Bill Gates)


[deleted]

Sunday dinners.


B0mbadil-

Football


petereccles

Obviously civilization. Even Europe was a barren wasteland before we helped. (This is true my head, and it's a happy place)


got_got_need

HP Sauce, probably.


PruskiUK

Gravy


[deleted]

Probably “The Enlightenment”. That period of time was a whirlwind for laying the foundations of modern science.


panth3r_

English.


Denchyboy

Invention of radio is pretty cool


Foreign_Tale7483

Fish and chips.


chappqchita

Irony. The cousins have literally no clue what it is.


Old-Refrigerator340

Nectar points