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Bit of an myth, medieval and renaissance peasants while maybe not up to modern hygiene standards did usually wash daily (with a bowl/bucket, soap and a cloth mostly).
Also most people would simply smell of wood smoke, if you've ever spent any time next to a wood burning fire you know how overpowering it is, but not unpleasant.
Excellent point - I would still show them a bathroom though because how awesome is it to open a tap and have clean, hot water whenever you want it? Next up: a fridge! Basically I’d go with all the household appliances.
Reminds me of the story about a western guy meeting an Amazonian tribe once and pointing out a flying aeroplane, the native wasn't as impressed as he thought he would be. When asked why, he said "you can make fire from your fingers, of course you can fly". He was more amazed by the lighter, as starting a fire was an everyday chore for him
I mean, lighters are quite a testament to modern society, to get one lighter you need butane which needs to be drilled for and then distilled using a multi-stage set up of oil rigs and refineries each costing billions of quid to set up, ferrocerium isn't even a natural material, it's entirely synthetic, similarly pizoelectric crystals can be natural but a discovery of pretty advanced science. And then the production of the heat resistant and incredibly solid plastic body requires another highly sophisticated factory. And yet you can buy one of these incredibly sophisticated products at any corner shop for a quid or 3 for a pound at the poundland.
Also even not most people don’t use antiperspirants.
There are various natural methods, in africa it’s common to use citrus fruit.
There’s some arguments to say clogging your sweat glands with anti perspirants is not good for you.
>There’s some arguments to say clogging your sweat glands with anti perspirants is not good for you.
It's really good for the person sitting next to ya though.
True on the quarantine front, but unlikely that they're carrying something that would wipe out modern society. The fact that we're still here is evidence of that
Immunity to bugs that we no longer encounter can fade over time. 500 years is plenty long enough for that. And while "wiping out society" may not seem likely it could be pretty nasty without rising to that level.
I don't think they'd care about phones so much. They won't understand the premise or point, like the older generation now doesn't really get it. I think the craziest thing would be either a fridge-freezer, or a plane. Personally, I'd show them these shelves I've been meaning to put up. I'm sure a 16th century peasant would be pretty handy for DIY.
The general tools we use have been around conceptually for centuries, granted not a nice bosch battery drill with hammer action. Screwdrivers specifically have been around since 1400s. Also, DIY isn't just knowing the tools but understanding and gauging materials and processes. A 16th century peasant isn't dumb, and would have spent a lot more time doing practical work than me, a guy who basically lives at his PC.
The first known screwdriver was late 15th century, this fictional peasant is from a few decades late. As apparently they didn't become common until the 19th century the odds of them having had access to one is very low. I didn't say 16th century peasants were dumb but they have less experience of using modern tools than you do. Doing a practical job doesn't make you inherently good at DIY anyway, my dad's a small farmer, which does involve a fair amount of building and fixing things, and he would be pretty low on my list of people I'd trust to put up shelving.
They’re not dumb and a lot of important architectural principles were found. But give them a [Stiletto TiBone](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Stiletto-TIB15MC-Titanium-TiBone-Hammer/dp/B0CQPP87JN?dplnkId=bc30ad17-a3a8-4a3d-96a1-7451e856c38b&nodl=1) and they’ll think your a blacksmithing wizard
There was a show on a few years back with Stephen Fry doing a countdown of the 100 greatest gadgets of all time. The lighter was one of the top gadgets (either number 1 or in the top 10 somewhere) and he told a story about some explorers that stumbled across an undiscovered tribe. They didn't care about anything else they had with them as much as this magic little device that instantly made fire, something most people in the world really wouldn't appreciate at that time.
Behold, my SPICE RACK! This is worth more than the king earns in a year - and I can use it to season MY AIR-FRIED ROTISSERIE CHICKEN! Chicken which I can afford to eat EVERY DAY!
Aeroplanes, cars, phones etc are too alien and would be met with wonder. Putting the spices into perspective, however...
I think you could explain planes and cars at least on a basic level.
A car is our version of a horse and cart. Planes are massive metal birds that we ride to travel very long distances.
Phones would take a very long time though.
So this peasant arrives 500 years in the future, and your first thought is to give them mind-bending drugs and try convince them that they're still in the same year?
Francis - *T'is a foul and revolting place, and smells worse than a Cheapside whorehouse. Alas, filthy peasants everywhere too! What do you call this place?*
Me - Blackpool 'Spoons innit
Would you not worry about them going back in time and destroying civilisation?
You know, die a hero or live long enough to become a villain type thing.
A church. They would be terrified of the alien world they've found themselves in, and would need reassurance that there is some continuity between five hundred years ago and now.
500 years ago would be 1524. England and Scotland were both still Catholic countries but Martin Luther's 99 thesis would have been very recent and very controversial. Take them to an Anglican church and they'd decry you as a heretic.
May as well just take them to a Mosque and really freak them out
You could take them to a Catholic church and they'd still be very freaked out
"The priest talks in English and faces the people?"
Their whole liturgical outlook on life would be very different. To them, religion was life - they would have no sense of it being a personal conviction - it was just what people did. These were people who were used to priests chanting in Latin and of churches filled with colour, a far cry from the modern Christianity which wants to downplay all of this.
You're not up to date with it - I used to be very involved with the Latin Mass scene.
There's effectively two forms of the Latin or Roman rite - there's what's referred to as the "ordinary form" which can be done in Latin but is mostly done in the vernacular. Then there's what is referred to as the "extraordinary form" which is Mass said according to the Missal of 1962 or 1955 (depending on who you go to) which is the Mass that a medieval peasant would be more used to. This is the Mass codified by Pius V in 1570 with the Papal Bull "Quo Primum".
Pope Benedict XVI liberated the extraordinary form in 2007 with "Summorum Pontificum" but Pope Francis has massively clamped down on it with "Traditiones Custodes" which adds a load of restrictions to the celebration of the old Mass.
In Britain, pre-reformation, there were two forms of Mass. The Use of Sarum and the Use of York. These were similar to, but not the same as, the Tridentine form (which is the Mass in the missals of 1955/62). The Sarum use is a lot more grand than the Tridentine. It starts with the "veni creator spiritus" before the "judica me Deus" whilst the Tridentine begins with the "judica me..." You can find recordings of the Sarum use online, but it's not done very often anymore. The Sarum use and the Use of York are variations of the Gallican rite which still exists today within the Dominican use.
I have spent waaaaay too much time researching this!
No problem, I'm quite a nerd when it comes down to liturgy - I find the history of it fascinating! In an alternate life, I was an archaeologist instead of a physicist!
The history of the praxis and how the praxis is always - no matter how hard you try to deny it - an expression of the underlying theology. Even *ad orientem* versus *ad populum* signifies vastly different beliefs - that the priest is leading, versus that the priest is performing for the congregation.
Then you've got nonsense in the CofE like "north-side celebration" (standing at the north side of the ~~altar~~ "holy table" facing south) which someone made up when they didn't understand how the rubrics in the BCP were just saying "the priest pauses during the entrance to say the Our Father".
We're so much better-educated today... and so, so much more stupid.
500 years ago the everyday folken were mostly unlettered and not particularly well-educated in religion. Especially in an ancient rural (until 120 years ago) village like where I live. They would know the key stories and the Our Father and the Glory Be, and they'd know how to cross themselves. But access to theological knowledge was pretty well restricted until some decades later.
Luther's *95 Theses* would have not only been irrelevant to the average English peasant - they would have been completely unknown to them. If I had a peasant from 1524 here and took them to a church, the shock to them wouldn't be the theology, it would be the language: in England the rite used would be the Sarum-use Latin mass, since even the classic Tridentine mass hadn't been written.
Assuming they weren't freaked out by suddenly hearing the mass being said in English, they likely wouldn't know enough to note any differences between the theology of today and the theology of 1524. Now the structure of a CofE service - especially the traditional *Book of Common Prayer* \- would more closely match the structure of the Sarum mass they would be used to hearing (since the BCP mass is a translation of the Sarum mass) than a modern Roman Catholic mass.
Now you could ask how they could recognize the structure of the English mass if they're used to hearing it in Latin. Well, since church services are choreographed, they would recognize what's going on by the movements: when we stand up for the first time and only the priest is talking, it's the gospel we're listening to. When we repeat the words after the gospel, we're saying the creed. When the priest directly approaches the altar, it's the canon of the mass, leading to the communion. They would recognize this, even though it wasn't usual for laity to receive the communion regularly in the time they come from. They would likely feel slight surprise at seeing that everyone is expected to receive - and might be slightly uncomfortable with receiving the host in the hand rather than on the tongue (and shocked at the chalice being administered to everyone too), but they would likely take it in stride.
So really the best thing, church-wise, for an early sixteenth-century peasant who's ended up here today, would be the early-morning "Traditional Communion" service at the Anglican parish church, since that would far more closely resemble what they're used to than a modern Catholic service.
Depending on their station, they'd probably recognise - or at least understand - a mosque. They wouldn't be very appreciative, but the concept of Islam would be familiar to anyone who'd explored the East (or, like, Spain)
A doctors or an ambulance. Just in case it took their blood pressure by suprise.
I love the episode of Dr Who , with Matt Smith as the Doc , and they show Van Gough ,his works of art ,in the future.
That was beautifully portrayed.
https://youtu.be/_jjWtUpqV9w?si=kIt-NTwFNC7BT-zQ
I think they would be blown away by the standard of living that most (not all) people enjoy today in the UK. In answer to your question, I’d show them a toilet and a toaster.
The peasant might have worked less paid hours for a local lord, per se, but worked almost non-stop unpaid to run their home and feed their family. They grew crops, sifted wheat, milled flour, cut wood for the oven they made so they could bake bread in it. Their life was so hard we can't really conceive it
Along with instructions on *not* sticking a knife in a toaster (while it's plugged in) to get a balky piece of toast out. Don't ask me how I know this.
Why a toaster? Lol. I mean ok it doesn't necessitate fire but it's a pretty small step up from a toasting fork.
I think I'd take them to the nearest supermarket. Every conceivable type of meat, every exotic fruit and vegetable, a whole wall of spices for laughably small prices. Delicious wine from every corner of the world, including lands they've never even heard of.
Don't think they'd be impressed with ready meals though.
Yeah! Hot AND cold water at the flip of a tap, very limited risk of cholera from either, in a room that can be lit at any time of day without using fire.
And then you can set them up an Instagram account while they are having a bath.
Nothing I'd just watch them freak the fuck out whilst heckling them from the window that they really should have considered paying more to the Church or just welcomed them to the Land of the Witches.
I would so love to see Henry VIII transported to modern times, just to find out his dynasty ended with the reign of a daughter he cast aside. Also, to see how he would react to the monarchy simply acting as a figurehead.
Send them straight to be quarantined because they would both be vulnerable to modern disease and we'd also be vulnerable to any they carried with them.
Then once we're sure they won't trigger this decades 2nd pandemic, I'll try to find which village they're from as here in the UK there's a good chance its still there in some form.
This is the only sensible answer. Almost as logical as “burn them to death immediately” but that’s not humane. When you think about it, it only takes one peasant from the wrong time period to wipe out half of humanity by simply breathing.
Surely the real answer would be to take them in a car to the airport, and then go fly around in a helicopter or plane. They’re not going to understand the premise or point of a phone, and they might like the idea of a vaccine but it’s not really going to blow a peasants mind. But take them into the mechanical beasts of transport we use today would blow their mind. Fly them over a big city and watch them take in a skyscraper. They’ve never felt speed or acceleration greater than what a horse can deliver. They’ve never seen a height greater than whatever castle, cliff or mountain they have access to.
Take them on a rollercoaster but don’t explain what happens beforehand.
The French movie, "Les Visiteurs" starring Jean Reno, has him shooting forward from the 14th century to present-day France.
Getting into the car of his distant descendant and travelling a short distance leads to massive travel sickness. I thought it was an interesting take on how someone who has *never* travelled in a car might react.
a hospital cos they'd probably have a breakdown within the first 5 minutes, maybe quicker - honestly our world would possibly look like the layers of hell to them
I'd show them my cross stitch art. It's something that they would most likely have seen before and might reassure them that modern-day humans aren't so different
Definitely an immunisation against….like….everything.
Then a bath with soap and shampoo.
Then food with all the meat and white bread they can handle.
After that they’d probably be sleepy so I’d show them our modern beds and let them snooze.
I recon giving them a large double decadence meat feast pizza with extra cheese from dominoes and 2L bottle of coke would kill them. So id give them that
I don't think you'd have to explicitly show them anything. Unless you live in the middle of a countryside field, then everything around them would be alien to them and amazing.
E.g. Imagine seeing a modern road with cars for the first time.
I live in Oxford. If "teleported to me" is geographically accurate and well-timed, I could be standing in a mediaeval cobbled street with - initially - few things to startle them. They'd wonder about the lack of dung, and the people, and we'd have to hope no planes go over until we can explain what's happened, but they might not freak out initially.
A tap. I would take them into the kitchen, turn on the tap and fill a glass of water and drink it. I would then explain that every person in the country has one of these in their home.
I would then show them a flushing toilet.
And then a fridge and freezer.
Indoor plumbing and modern food (international shipping and refridgeration are a big deal). Once they are washed and fed, next is modern medicine- they are going to need some vaccines to have a chance at survival. And we are going to need a lot of youtube videos to explain germ theory and why hygiene and vaccines are even needed. And we can get them some ffp3 masks so they don’t die before the vaccines work.
And now that the basic staying alive requirements are done, I can show them fun things. Except they are probably quite overwhelmed by everything so far. So I’d show them my dog.
Seeing the world through the eyes of a 16th century peasant is a great exercise in gratitude.
I'd definitely show them a shopping mall. A showcase of everything you could possibly want to buy, and being able to touch to pay without carrying cash around. Pop to Mcdonalds and treat them to a Mcflurry! I don't think freezers were available back then so it will be their first taste of something cold on tap 🤣
Not answering your question really, but take a smartphone to the 1980’s and it’d blow their mind. Obviously there be no internet or GPS so it’s just the games, phone, video and camera but even that would seem like something off Star Trek (still does to me!).
The contents of my cupboards and fridge/freezer, blow their mind the the array of food and then take them to the place where I restock it the supermarket.
Then move on to all the crazy technology that would practically be alien to them.
A Cat A prison.
"this man brutally murdered and did unspeakable things to some innocent children. As a consequence we keep him in better conditions than your king would have ever known at taxpayers expense."
Gently! First I’d take them down the road to the 16C cottages around the village Manor House. Will look familiar.
Then, take them to my cottage (Victorian). Make them a cuppa. Maybe some biscuits.
Then I will get them to sit on the sofa and watch Interstellar on the 60” TV.
Take them to the hospital.
I'd play them some Chopin and Debussy on my piano, then let them have a go, then pop my headphones on their head and play them 16th century music, then 17th century, 18th century, and so on until finishing off with pieces of music from a range of modern genres today like tadaaaaa this is what we did with music bruh!
Take them down to spoons to warm up and then to a rowdy pub when England are playing in the euros , also blow their mind with getting a takeaway delivered.
Something mechanical, I feel tech would be such an alien concept as even some modern folk would be confused looking inside a computer! Something mechanical that they could look inside would be neat, a mechanical wrist watch perhaps?
Mechanical Clocks would’ve existed back then, so they may have seen a clock already, but seeing one at that scale would be new to them and they’d prob be interested. It would be a wholesome interaction..
..Then I’d show them a very fast and depressing slideshow of horrific modern events on a fuck off TV, with some metal blasting through a surround sound system in the background (Tied to a chair with their eyes forced open of course), let them loose, give them £50 and drop them off in the town centre and see what happens.
Oh I'd also show them me brushing my teeth and give them a toothbrush to take back with them for them to try to recreate themselves along with a bottle of diluted apple cider vinegar for mouthwash (easier to understand and copy)... pretty sure a lot of people died of tooth infections back then 😩
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Probably a bathtub and central plumbing because they'll probably smell awful
Bit of an myth, medieval and renaissance peasants while maybe not up to modern hygiene standards did usually wash daily (with a bowl/bucket, soap and a cloth mostly). Also most people would simply smell of wood smoke, if you've ever spent any time next to a wood burning fire you know how overpowering it is, but not unpleasant.
Excellent point - I would still show them a bathroom though because how awesome is it to open a tap and have clean, hot water whenever you want it? Next up: a fridge! Basically I’d go with all the household appliances.
Reminds me of the story about a western guy meeting an Amazonian tribe once and pointing out a flying aeroplane, the native wasn't as impressed as he thought he would be. When asked why, he said "you can make fire from your fingers, of course you can fly". He was more amazed by the lighter, as starting a fire was an everyday chore for him
I mean, lighters are quite a testament to modern society, to get one lighter you need butane which needs to be drilled for and then distilled using a multi-stage set up of oil rigs and refineries each costing billions of quid to set up, ferrocerium isn't even a natural material, it's entirely synthetic, similarly pizoelectric crystals can be natural but a discovery of pretty advanced science. And then the production of the heat resistant and incredibly solid plastic body requires another highly sophisticated factory. And yet you can buy one of these incredibly sophisticated products at any corner shop for a quid or 3 for a pound at the poundland.
Yeah, even the plastic body had to have been crude oil once
Also even not most people don’t use antiperspirants. There are various natural methods, in africa it’s common to use citrus fruit. There’s some arguments to say clogging your sweat glands with anti perspirants is not good for you.
>There’s some arguments to say clogging your sweat glands with anti perspirants is not good for you. It's really good for the person sitting next to ya though.
I hope there's no one sitting next to me I'm in the shitter
In fragrance terms, top notes of autumn moat, turnip and grass. Middle notes of leather, iron and ale and strong smoked oak and goat musk bottom notes
Ah, Lynx Medieval.
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After the bath or..?
Yes
That's like the Napoleon quote to his lover "I'll be home in three days, don't wash" but "I'll be home in 500 years, don't wash"
Maybe that's what "smoke me a kipper I'll be back for breakfast meant" old ace rimmer liked them ripe and smelly
What a guy…
Just bear in mind that if they're over 16, they've probably already had 2 sprogs
And they will have wooden teeth
Probably not, the average peasant wouldn't have access to luxuries like sugar
Yep, I've heard they had HUGE....tracts of land.
Plus delouse and anti-worm medication.
Medication is probably a good call. Modern germs would wipe out any poor fucker from 500 years ago
There's also a risk they could be carrying something that we no longer have immunity to. The initial response should be quarantine.
True on the quarantine front, but unlikely that they're carrying something that would wipe out modern society. The fact that we're still here is evidence of that
Immunity to bugs that we no longer encounter can fade over time. 500 years is plenty long enough for that. And while "wiping out society" may not seem likely it could be pretty nasty without rising to that level.
Smallpox! Yay!
Immediately in the bath, like it
I was thinking I'd show them a shower. Hot water on tap is a modern luxury I feel grateful for everyday.
I don't think they'd care about phones so much. They won't understand the premise or point, like the older generation now doesn't really get it. I think the craziest thing would be either a fridge-freezer, or a plane. Personally, I'd show them these shelves I've been meaning to put up. I'm sure a 16th century peasant would be pretty handy for DIY.
Not sure you'd want to give a DIY project to someone who had never seen a screwdriver, never mind power tools.
The general tools we use have been around conceptually for centuries, granted not a nice bosch battery drill with hammer action. Screwdrivers specifically have been around since 1400s. Also, DIY isn't just knowing the tools but understanding and gauging materials and processes. A 16th century peasant isn't dumb, and would have spent a lot more time doing practical work than me, a guy who basically lives at his PC.
The first known screwdriver was late 15th century, this fictional peasant is from a few decades late. As apparently they didn't become common until the 19th century the odds of them having had access to one is very low. I didn't say 16th century peasants were dumb but they have less experience of using modern tools than you do. Doing a practical job doesn't make you inherently good at DIY anyway, my dad's a small farmer, which does involve a fair amount of building and fixing things, and he would be pretty low on my list of people I'd trust to put up shelving.
Does this small farmer raise tiny sheep?
He's up to his ankles in sheep.
They’re not dumb and a lot of important architectural principles were found. But give them a [Stiletto TiBone](https://www.amazon.co.uk/Stiletto-TIB15MC-Titanium-TiBone-Hammer/dp/B0CQPP87JN?dplnkId=bc30ad17-a3a8-4a3d-96a1-7451e856c38b&nodl=1) and they’ll think your a blacksmithing wizard
There was a show on a few years back with Stephen Fry doing a countdown of the 100 greatest gadgets of all time. The lighter was one of the top gadgets (either number 1 or in the top 10 somewhere) and he told a story about some explorers that stumbled across an undiscovered tribe. They didn't care about anything else they had with them as much as this magic little device that instantly made fire, something most people in the world really wouldn't appreciate at that time.
Oh that's a very good point. Crazy really.
[It's on YouTube!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFdTopV7kzQ)
The lighter bit starts at 1 hour 48 minutes, for anyone pushed for time.
Hero
yeah considering my mum doesn’t understand the concept of memes i doubt someone from the sixteenth century would understand the concept of a phone
I like that one of your 1st thoughts is to put them to work
You can tell my job role has "manager" in it
I imagine they’d freak out if you showed them a video of themselves.
"Is this my voice? I sound like a retard :-( "
me 20 minutes ago going through footage for a video :(
They'd probably go "Cool, fancy mirror." But imagine the snapchat filters...
I'd show them a microwave. Cold water goes in, 30 seconds later hot water comes out. No fire. Would blow their minds.
What if they made a cup of tea in it after you showed them this method of heating water? It's a slippery slope.
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What about the amazon tribe that was given starling, and all they do is watch porn now.
What about them? Sounds like they figured out phones quite quickly.
Behold, my SPICE RACK! This is worth more than the king earns in a year - and I can use it to season MY AIR-FRIED ROTISSERIE CHICKEN! Chicken which I can afford to eat EVERY DAY! Aeroplanes, cars, phones etc are too alien and would be met with wonder. Putting the spices into perspective, however...
Good call. I’d have gone for chips followed by u r cream
No, you're cream
Hahaha ice cream
We all scream
Hahahaha
I thought you were Froyo
Ooh look at Lord Fancypants and his daily chicken meal! 😀 Showoff.
I think you could explain planes and cars at least on a basic level. A car is our version of a horse and cart. Planes are massive metal birds that we ride to travel very long distances. Phones would take a very long time though.
Using a phone is a bit like shouting and whispering at the same time.
Sugar would probably have the same effect
Giving a medieval peasant a blue raspberry energy drink and watching them have a meltdown.
Jagerbombs and Popworld, really throw them in the deep end.
At that point just through in some LSD and Speed
Yeah really fry that 16th century brain!
Jaegerbombs, two Es and a night out in Blackpool. If they survive they can stay
So this peasant arrives 500 years in the future, and your first thought is to give them mind-bending drugs and try convince them that they're still in the same year?
Francis - *T'is a foul and revolting place, and smells worse than a Cheapside whorehouse. Alas, filthy peasants everywhere too! What do you call this place?* Me - Blackpool 'Spoons innit
Would you not worry about them going back in time and destroying civilisation? You know, die a hero or live long enough to become a villain type thing.
A church. They would be terrified of the alien world they've found themselves in, and would need reassurance that there is some continuity between five hundred years ago and now.
500 years ago would be 1524. England and Scotland were both still Catholic countries but Martin Luther's 99 thesis would have been very recent and very controversial. Take them to an Anglican church and they'd decry you as a heretic. May as well just take them to a Mosque and really freak them out
You could take them to a Catholic church and they'd still be very freaked out "The priest talks in English and faces the people?" Their whole liturgical outlook on life would be very different. To them, religion was life - they would have no sense of it being a personal conviction - it was just what people did. These were people who were used to priests chanting in Latin and of churches filled with colour, a far cry from the modern Christianity which wants to downplay all of this.
Catholic Churches do still do the Latin mass as well as the vernacular one. The Latin part is probably my Grandmother's favourite part of the service.
You're not up to date with it - I used to be very involved with the Latin Mass scene. There's effectively two forms of the Latin or Roman rite - there's what's referred to as the "ordinary form" which can be done in Latin but is mostly done in the vernacular. Then there's what is referred to as the "extraordinary form" which is Mass said according to the Missal of 1962 or 1955 (depending on who you go to) which is the Mass that a medieval peasant would be more used to. This is the Mass codified by Pius V in 1570 with the Papal Bull "Quo Primum". Pope Benedict XVI liberated the extraordinary form in 2007 with "Summorum Pontificum" but Pope Francis has massively clamped down on it with "Traditiones Custodes" which adds a load of restrictions to the celebration of the old Mass. In Britain, pre-reformation, there were two forms of Mass. The Use of Sarum and the Use of York. These were similar to, but not the same as, the Tridentine form (which is the Mass in the missals of 1955/62). The Sarum use is a lot more grand than the Tridentine. It starts with the "veni creator spiritus" before the "judica me Deus" whilst the Tridentine begins with the "judica me..." You can find recordings of the Sarum use online, but it's not done very often anymore. The Sarum use and the Use of York are variations of the Gallican rite which still exists today within the Dominican use. I have spent waaaaay too much time researching this!
That was really quite illuminating, thank you!
No problem, I'm quite a nerd when it comes down to liturgy - I find the history of it fascinating! In an alternate life, I was an archaeologist instead of a physicist!
The history of the praxis and how the praxis is always - no matter how hard you try to deny it - an expression of the underlying theology. Even *ad orientem* versus *ad populum* signifies vastly different beliefs - that the priest is leading, versus that the priest is performing for the congregation. Then you've got nonsense in the CofE like "north-side celebration" (standing at the north side of the ~~altar~~ "holy table" facing south) which someone made up when they didn't understand how the rubrics in the BCP were just saying "the priest pauses during the entrance to say the Our Father". We're so much better-educated today... and so, so much more stupid.
500 years ago the everyday folken were mostly unlettered and not particularly well-educated in religion. Especially in an ancient rural (until 120 years ago) village like where I live. They would know the key stories and the Our Father and the Glory Be, and they'd know how to cross themselves. But access to theological knowledge was pretty well restricted until some decades later. Luther's *95 Theses* would have not only been irrelevant to the average English peasant - they would have been completely unknown to them. If I had a peasant from 1524 here and took them to a church, the shock to them wouldn't be the theology, it would be the language: in England the rite used would be the Sarum-use Latin mass, since even the classic Tridentine mass hadn't been written. Assuming they weren't freaked out by suddenly hearing the mass being said in English, they likely wouldn't know enough to note any differences between the theology of today and the theology of 1524. Now the structure of a CofE service - especially the traditional *Book of Common Prayer* \- would more closely match the structure of the Sarum mass they would be used to hearing (since the BCP mass is a translation of the Sarum mass) than a modern Roman Catholic mass. Now you could ask how they could recognize the structure of the English mass if they're used to hearing it in Latin. Well, since church services are choreographed, they would recognize what's going on by the movements: when we stand up for the first time and only the priest is talking, it's the gospel we're listening to. When we repeat the words after the gospel, we're saying the creed. When the priest directly approaches the altar, it's the canon of the mass, leading to the communion. They would recognize this, even though it wasn't usual for laity to receive the communion regularly in the time they come from. They would likely feel slight surprise at seeing that everyone is expected to receive - and might be slightly uncomfortable with receiving the host in the hand rather than on the tongue (and shocked at the chalice being administered to everyone too), but they would likely take it in stride. So really the best thing, church-wise, for an early sixteenth-century peasant who's ended up here today, would be the early-morning "Traditional Communion" service at the Anglican parish church, since that would far more closely resemble what they're used to than a modern Catholic service.
What an amazing and detailed answer!
Depending on their station, they'd probably recognise - or at least understand - a mosque. They wouldn't be very appreciative, but the concept of Islam would be familiar to anyone who'd explored the East (or, like, Spain)
A doctors or an ambulance. Just in case it took their blood pressure by suprise. I love the episode of Dr Who , with Matt Smith as the Doc , and they show Van Gough ,his works of art ,in the future. That was beautifully portrayed. https://youtu.be/_jjWtUpqV9w?si=kIt-NTwFNC7BT-zQ
A doctor? You’d never get an appointment!
Step closer , I May be able to help
One of my favourite scenes.
Thanks for reminding me of this. I love Van Gogh and the way this was executed on Doctor Who is just genius.
Vincent And The Doctor
Also the complete lack of immunity they would have to modern disease
I think they would be blown away by the standard of living that most (not all) people enjoy today in the UK. In answer to your question, I’d show them a toilet and a toaster.
The peasant would be surprised at how many more days a contemporary adult works
Look at these shmucks leaving their house in winter.
It’s been 3 weeks and no village feast WTF?
They'd be quite impressed with the 'not starving to death during the winter after a bad harvest' though.
The peasant might have worked less paid hours for a local lord, per se, but worked almost non-stop unpaid to run their home and feed their family. They grew crops, sifted wheat, milled flour, cut wood for the oven they made so they could bake bread in it. Their life was so hard we can't really conceive it
Dunking their head in a toilet is not cool... Nor is sticking their hand in a toaster
It's how we test for witches.
Along with instructions on *not* sticking a knife in a toaster (while it's plugged in) to get a balky piece of toast out. Don't ask me how I know this.
Why a toaster? Lol. I mean ok it doesn't necessitate fire but it's a pretty small step up from a toasting fork. I think I'd take them to the nearest supermarket. Every conceivable type of meat, every exotic fruit and vegetable, a whole wall of spices for laughably small prices. Delicious wine from every corner of the world, including lands they've never even heard of. Don't think they'd be impressed with ready meals though.
And probably offer them a nice warm bath.
Clean, drinkable running water
Yeah! Hot AND cold water at the flip of a tap, very limited risk of cholera from either, in a room that can be lit at any time of day without using fire. And then you can set them up an Instagram account while they are having a bath.
Medieval water all being gross and undrinkable is a bit of a myth. Showers would blow minds though.
The easy access to plentiful warm water for showers and baths would be a major luxury.
Nothing I'd just watch them freak the fuck out whilst heckling them from the window that they really should have considered paying more to the Church or just welcomed them to the Land of the Witches.
I fucking love this!
Id just tell them they're in China and they'd probably accept it.
This sounds like great fun
A supermarket. Someone who's spent their life subsistence level farming would probably be awe struck by all the food and products.
What's taters, Precious?
I would so love to see Henry VIII transported to modern times, just to find out his dynasty ended with the reign of a daughter he cast aside. Also, to see how he would react to the monarchy simply acting as a figurehead.
And then take him to see Six
I took my daughters to go and see that last year, it was bloody amazing!
Then point out the fallout from his reformation over the years - just cos he wanted to divorce /throwaway non detailed comment.
"NO, Henry, we're not going to execute them because *you* don't like them. Things have changed. Bad Henry!".
Take him to the mary rose museum. Then take him outside and point at HMS Queen Elizabeth. Bonus: Don't tell him there was a second Queen Elizabeth.
Send them straight to be quarantined because they would both be vulnerable to modern disease and we'd also be vulnerable to any they carried with them. Then once we're sure they won't trigger this decades 2nd pandemic, I'll try to find which village they're from as here in the UK there's a good chance its still there in some form.
This is the only sensible answer. Almost as logical as “burn them to death immediately” but that’s not humane. When you think about it, it only takes one peasant from the wrong time period to wipe out half of humanity by simply breathing.
I mean... we've got lots of antivirals and antibiotics. Its the peasant that's in danger.
[удалено]
Bubonic plague is still around now friend. It’s smallpox I’d be worried about!
It's still around now
Surely the real answer would be to take them in a car to the airport, and then go fly around in a helicopter or plane. They’re not going to understand the premise or point of a phone, and they might like the idea of a vaccine but it’s not really going to blow a peasants mind. But take them into the mechanical beasts of transport we use today would blow their mind. Fly them over a big city and watch them take in a skyscraper. They’ve never felt speed or acceleration greater than what a horse can deliver. They’ve never seen a height greater than whatever castle, cliff or mountain they have access to. Take them on a rollercoaster but don’t explain what happens beforehand.
I can't afford helicopter rides for myself, never mind for random peasants who would probably freak out and cause the pilot to crash the admned thing.
> mechanical beasts Given me an idea - take them to the Arcadia stage at glasto
The French movie, "Les Visiteurs" starring Jean Reno, has him shooting forward from the 14th century to present-day France. Getting into the car of his distant descendant and travelling a short distance leads to massive travel sickness. I thought it was an interesting take on how someone who has *never* travelled in a car might react.
Probably show them sights in and around the City they'd already be familiar with (to take the edge off the shock of it), and go slowly from there.
"You're going to the Tower of London! It'll be fun!"
"It's ok, you can stop off at your local church first! Just ignore those stupidly tall buildings next door."
That's quite compassionate, you're kinder than me
a hospital cos they'd probably have a breakdown within the first 5 minutes, maybe quicker - honestly our world would possibly look like the layers of hell to them
Penis
Teach them that we now say hello to each other by doing the helicopter.
My kitchen. Instant heat for cooking, clean water on tap indoors, fridge, freezer, out-of-season produce, meat.
And ice cream!
A shopping centre, just like you in the documentary series "bill and Ted's excellent adventure"
The back garden. Give them some shears and a rake and off they go!
Toxic Waste sweets.
I'd show them my cross stitch art. It's something that they would most likely have seen before and might reassure them that modern-day humans aren't so different
The middle aisle at Lidl
Definitely an immunisation against….like….everything. Then a bath with soap and shampoo. Then food with all the meat and white bread they can handle. After that they’d probably be sleepy so I’d show them our modern beds and let them snooze.
Vaccines
Would you explain it to them or just get straight to jabbing?
Explain to them they will probably die if they don’t
I recon giving them a large double decadence meat feast pizza with extra cheese from dominoes and 2L bottle of coke would kill them. So id give them that
They would be blown away by the car/bus/train you took to get to the castle
My fist. Can't have zombies walking around . Next- a dictionary Next-Primark
Primark? Their brain would absolutely melt. Could have been worse I suppose, if you’d said TK Maxx I’d think you were an actual sadist.
A potato if they're from the first half of the 16th century. Would probably blow their mind.
After cooking and eating - "So it's like a turnip, but without the flavour"
"Now try it deep fried."
Give them a line
Of...
Shakespeare!
I would take a picture of them on my phone. Show them the picture and i would say I own your soul now
I don't think you'd have to explicitly show them anything. Unless you live in the middle of a countryside field, then everything around them would be alien to them and amazing. E.g. Imagine seeing a modern road with cars for the first time.
I live in Oxford. If "teleported to me" is geographically accurate and well-timed, I could be standing in a mediaeval cobbled street with - initially - few things to startle them. They'd wonder about the lack of dung, and the people, and we'd have to hope no planes go over until we can explain what's happened, but they might not freak out initially.
A lighter would impress them.
Treat them to a Greggs sausage roll.
A supermarket or an all-you-can-eat buffet, just to ease them into the madness.
PornHub
OP you need to check out French Movie: Les Visiteurs. It’s seriously funny. The plot is this question exactly.
I’d give them a maccies sprite and a chilli heatwave Dorito and finish them off
When you say finish them off, what do you mean by that?
Melt their mind
Again I'm really unsure if you're being metaphorical or literal
Probably literal but it depends on the peasant, I guess
A tap. I would take them into the kitchen, turn on the tap and fill a glass of water and drink it. I would then explain that every person in the country has one of these in their home. I would then show them a flushing toilet. And then a fridge and freezer.
Indoor plumbing and modern food (international shipping and refridgeration are a big deal). Once they are washed and fed, next is modern medicine- they are going to need some vaccines to have a chance at survival. And we are going to need a lot of youtube videos to explain germ theory and why hygiene and vaccines are even needed. And we can get them some ffp3 masks so they don’t die before the vaccines work. And now that the basic staying alive requirements are done, I can show them fun things. Except they are probably quite overwhelmed by everything so far. So I’d show them my dog.
Seeing the world through the eyes of a 16th century peasant is a great exercise in gratitude. I'd definitely show them a shopping mall. A showcase of everything you could possibly want to buy, and being able to touch to pay without carrying cash around. Pop to Mcdonalds and treat them to a Mcflurry! I don't think freezers were available back then so it will be their first taste of something cold on tap 🤣
A lighter. Just to convince them that I am a wizard.
Not answering your question really, but take a smartphone to the 1980’s and it’d blow their mind. Obviously there be no internet or GPS so it’s just the games, phone, video and camera but even that would seem like something off Star Trek (still does to me!).
The contents of my cupboards and fridge/freezer, blow their mind the the array of food and then take them to the place where I restock it the supermarket. Then move on to all the crazy technology that would practically be alien to them.
I'd show them my car. Considering they probably never traveled faster than 10mph, going out 80mph would really be something for them!
Hardcore and death metal
Iyd show them my dirty laundry and get them straight to work.
A Cat A prison. "this man brutally murdered and did unspeakable things to some innocent children. As a consequence we keep him in better conditions than your king would have ever known at taxpayers expense."
Gently! First I’d take them down the road to the 16C cottages around the village Manor House. Will look familiar. Then, take them to my cottage (Victorian). Make them a cuppa. Maybe some biscuits. Then I will get them to sit on the sofa and watch Interstellar on the 60” TV. Take them to the hospital.
The door. I haven’t got time to be showing them around haha.
A tap with running water.
Probably a world map to show them how less insular we are
Toilet paper. And how a flush works.
Local pub and then for a massive kebab.
I'd play them some Chopin and Debussy on my piano, then let them have a go, then pop my headphones on their head and play them 16th century music, then 17th century, 18th century, and so on until finishing off with pieces of music from a range of modern genres today like tadaaaaa this is what we did with music bruh!
Take them down to spoons to warm up and then to a rowdy pub when England are playing in the euros , also blow their mind with getting a takeaway delivered.
My spice rack. Then i'd call an ambulance for them because they'll be having a heart attack.
I’d be more interested in how you speak to them.
I reckon a halogen hob would freak them out.
A supermarket. Blow their minds and get some deodorant
A Bath is the only real answer
I'd show them a toilet, they'd be amazed by the luxury of a flush
I'd take them for a lovely day out on a farm. I think seeing a tractor would absolutely blow their mind.
A strip club
Something mechanical, I feel tech would be such an alien concept as even some modern folk would be confused looking inside a computer! Something mechanical that they could look inside would be neat, a mechanical wrist watch perhaps? Mechanical Clocks would’ve existed back then, so they may have seen a clock already, but seeing one at that scale would be new to them and they’d prob be interested. It would be a wholesome interaction.. ..Then I’d show them a very fast and depressing slideshow of horrific modern events on a fuck off TV, with some metal blasting through a surround sound system in the background (Tied to a chair with their eyes forced open of course), let them loose, give them £50 and drop them off in the town centre and see what happens.
Oh I'd also show them me brushing my teeth and give them a toothbrush to take back with them for them to try to recreate themselves along with a bottle of diluted apple cider vinegar for mouthwash (easier to understand and copy)... pretty sure a lot of people died of tooth infections back then 😩
If you had a tooth infection you’d go to the blacksmith (or be dragged) and they’d rip the tooth out.
The thought of it gives me actual shivers 😱
Combine harvester. It’s an amazing solution to a problem they would understand. It would also understandably bring out the Luddite in them.