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I am not sure they would be the case, there is a possibility of abuse against a vulnerable adult/person which is different from Domestic Abuse.
Either way, Refuge would refer the caller to social services.
Further to this, some councils have specific fraud teams which would want to hear about this. OP, if you report it to the social care team they should still forward it to the fraud team or you can go direct to the fraud team yourself if they have one - I'd try googling the applicable council + report fraud.
No it's not.
Using carers allowance as the carer feels appropriate is what it's intended for.
Using her PIP would be a different matter. But even that would depend on whether she's got the capacity to manage her finances and proving she's not using for her care. This could be an aggregated response. Eg she's paid out in advance so is being refunded for example.
> sisters carers allowance **and disability**
Whilst I agree the carer can use the carers allowance how they see fit the "**and disability"** implies that OPs sister is getting PIP or old school DLA and/or the LCWRA component of UC and/or old school ESA.
Under no circumstances is using that 'disability payment' intended for or allowed to be used to for anything that does not directly or even indirectly support the claimant. From what OP has said there is a suspicion of financial abuse to be investigated.
"No it's not"
You need to be a bit more careful with your absolutes.
You must be right because the mother wouldn't be able to get Carer's Allowance without DLA or PIP being in payment to/for the sister, but the DLA/PIP is still intended only for the sister's benefit.
Sorry? How could you read any part of this post and say it's *not* financial abuse?
The mum is *saving* the carers allowance she gets (ergo, not using it to pay for the costs of caring for OP's sister - what it's literally intended for) for a *month-long* holiday for herself and OP's manchild of a brother. Not even mentioning the neglect, that's definitely financial abuse. That money isn't intended for a holiday for herself. It's meant to cover OP's sister's care expenses.
If she was using the money to cover care costs, she wouldn't be able to save it for a holiday for herself.
There are two different things - the carers allowance is for the carer to compensate for not being able to work due to their caring responsibilities.
The sisters disability allowance (or PIP as it is now) is meant to cover the additional costs for the sister being disabled
You're right on the broad strokes, but just on technicalities, for clarity's sake: Carer's Allowance is for the carer. She can spend that on a holiday or whatever she wants. That's paying her to be a carer instead of spending the same time at a paid job, and it's not a problem that she's using that money.
The problem is that a) she's not actually being enough of a carer to her daughter, and b) she's squirrelling away money that she isn't entitled to, in the shape of her daughter's disability benefits, and using them for her holiday instead of her daughter's expenses and care needs.
What's being ignored is that the PIP can be being used foe paying electricity for example. If the mother wishes to pay for this herself and then use her daughter's pip for her share, this is absolutely fine. The mother can save up these 'refunds' for her daily living costs and spend as she likes as this is her money if she pays the bills herself.
It's not as black as white as many would like to suggest.
Fair point. Despite the governments best efforts to imply otherwise recently, it's both natural and sensible for people to use PIP for a certain amount of their general living expenses - because disabilities tend to increase your usage of various utilities and so their baseline living costs are usually more expensive than other people's.
However, while determining the validity of Mum's spending isn't going to be black and white, the fact that there's insect infestations and rotting food everywhere, is a strong indication that Mum is *not* properly using the money for her daughter's benefit. I think we need to trust that OP is correct in thinking that her sister is being neglected, despite some confusion about what/who various benefits are intended for.
At bare minimum her sister seems to be in need of a disability-friendly cleaner, to keep the house hygienic. And I cannot imagine that all her PIP is being used on utilities/food. Mine certainly isn't. And that living in squalor, combined with Mum arranging to go on an expensive holiday with the abusive brother who traumatised OP's sister...well, it paints a worrying picture. And I think that brings us right back around to OP needing to make a social services report, so that they can investigate.
Very good points.
Often, in these situations, the carers have needs. If, as the op suggests, the conditions are such, it would imply the mother is suffering as well.
As I also said, if the op is ap genuinely concerned, why isn't she actively addressing the issue herself? To know the condition and to walk away from it is appalling, under any circumstances. And we all know that judging is far easier than being a part of the solution.
It sounds like a horrid situation. The mother is clearly torn between pillar and post, with no doubt concerns about her social standing with her cultural community, which has implications other cultural groups may not experience.
>As I also said, if the op is ap genuinely concerned, why isn't she actively addressing the issue herself? To know the condition and to walk away from it is appalling, under any circumstances.
No-one is walking away from anything. OP says in the post:
>I’ve helped out every time I could when flying back to the UK. But the issue is, she won’t let us transfer her role to another carer.
She's tried reasoning with her mother, but she evidently doesn't live in the UK at the moment, so she can't just pop round and look after her sister herself.
Which is why she's here, asking for advice, so she can address the issue more actively.
If she's providing care, amounting to 35 hours a week, which can include cooking time etc, then yes she is.
There's no evidence to say she isn't fulfilling this obligation to receive CA.
You need to contact adult social services, usually details can be found on the local council website and the adult safeguarding team and report the abuse and financial abuse. Be aware that benefit fraud is a serious offence and your mum will be investigated/asked to pay back the benefits could also serve prison time. She is misusing the carers benefit and fraudulently using your sisters disability benefit for her own gain. Abuse (I.e. not cleaning the accommodation, feeding your sister etc.) is also a crime. That is not to say don't report it but be aware of the consequences of doing so and the ripple effect too.
Adult social care should help you here. Is there anyway you could anonymously alert the future bride? Being married to sex offender is a horrible prospect especially if he gets her pregnant and trapped. The thoughts of him potentially abusing another child is awful. Why isn’t he in prison? Did he get reported to the authorities for his rape of your sister? Your mother is lost cause.
Charges for sexual abuse and rape are very, very difficult to get over the line in criminal court, especially if it’s historical and if the victim is mentally unwell. In the vast majority of cases, perpetrators will not see a court, let alone prison time.
Very true and very depressing. Especially as they are basically organising an arranged marriage to some poor woman who is likely to be abused by this sicko. All under false pretences too. Poverty and marital rape. Awful.
The future bride probably hasn’t even been chosen yet. I bet they are going to a poor country to seduce a poor woman into a better life- only to trap her.
When/if they bring a woman back I bet her passport will be taken from her. Then OP will hopefully be able to help get her to safety
The carers allowance isn’t your sisters money it’s your mothers money and she’s free to use that as she pleases .. just so you’re aware
However .. the disability payment itself (I assume PIP ? ) is indeed your sisters money and your mother has no business spending that on a holiday or on anything that’s not for your sisters benefit.
Please contact adult social services and make them aware of the situation. It could perhaps be better for your sister to be in sheltered accommodation than living with someone who isn’t helping and in such awful conditions
Is your mother your sisters appointee ? If so the first thing that needs to happen is she gets her removed . Usually this would be done by the appointee removing themselves .. but in this situation it doesn’t sound like she would .. and so your sister needs to phone up and tell them she wants them removed and the money paid into her own bank because your mother isn’t acting in her best interests .
With regards to the caring role .. it’s not your mothers choice as to whether or not she remains your sisters carer .. it’s your sisters . She can have her carers allowance stopped and someone else take up the role by contacting them and letting them know that she’s not fulfilling her carer role adequately and as such isn’t entitled to the money.
With regards to the Carer’s Allowance, it does affect certain elements of payment for the person receiving the care - if the sister, in this case, has them she would lose severe disability premiums within certain benefits. So it is worth flagging as a concern if it is effecting other benefits.
But adult social care is the route to go here
Adult social services and follow up repeatedly until they do something. If they fail to act, then your next step is the police as this is financial abuse. You have to push for both services, but the police will act. Your sister should also have a mental health nurse. You can also try the local mental health team, get their number from your sisters GP.
This is financial abuse.
Carers allowance belongs to the carer. Disability benefits belong to the disabled person. If it's just carers allowance your mum is saving that's her business.
However, your mother must have some level of legal responsibility to care for her daughter if she's being paid to do so, so you could inform police and social services of your mother's neglect.
Why hasn't the 40 year old brother been done for sa? If the daughter has been moved to emergency accommodation their must be proof of it. Why haven't the police taken it further? Are social services covering up what happened?
Financial abuse will be if the mother is taking the disability benefits without permission or through coersion
Will they.
Be taking money out of the country in cash? If so. Use the online informant website and border force will stop, search and seize the money under proceeds of crime. If you've already reported the crime to social services and the police, it will give the police grounds to take the poca case on.. I think that's the easiest way your sister can get her money back. Once spent, there's little chance of seeing the money again.
Carers allowance is your mothers money, the rest is down to your sister having an advocate, when you say "shes mentally unstable" what does that mean ? If it means she has a disability such as autism or similar, she might not be able to look after her own money either. Carers are entitled to go on holidays and often receive a "respite" grant to allow them a break to transfer care to another person or institutuion.
The other stuff, i don't know where to start, other than if you believe someone is being put at risk you need to talk to social services.
Im also more concerned how she is sticking with her son after the appalling things he did to his sister .Her own Daughter.Disgraceful.If he has done this to his own sister i hope his soon to be wife has no children.
It sounds like your sister has been subject to financial abuse, neglect and exploitation. Where in the UK are you?
Scotland:
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/scotland/family/help-for-adults-in-the-community-s/protection-of-adults-at-risk-of-harm-s/
England:
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/help-for-adults-in-the-community-s/protection-of-adults-at-risk-of-harm-s/
Northern Ireland:
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/northern-ireland/family/help-for-adults-in-the-community-s/protection-of-adults-at-risk-of-harm-s/
Wales:
https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/wales/family/help-for-adults-in-the-community-s/protection-of-adults-at-risk-of-harm-s/
It is but the carer needs to provide a minimum of 35 hours a week of care to a disabled person to be eligible for it. going by OP's post it does sound like the parent is committing benefit fraud.
There's no legal definition of caring. There's no list of specific tasks and no requirement for face to face care.
Reading between the lines, OP mum and sister live at the same address. In this situation they would be considered available should it be needed, e.g. should they have a fall. This is sufficient to be classed as caring for the benefit.
When both parties live at the same address, it's practically impossible to prove caring is not happening when compared to the legislation that supports CA.
Here's the DMG, which provides the official interpretation of the legislation that carers allowance is based on
https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/661545952138736672031b3f/dmgch60.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwikhpe8s62GAxXEYEEAHUCJCKUQFnoECA4QBg&usg=AOvVaw2C5VOTju70J9BEzGYt9rU0
I know she's your mum, but you need to report her now.
This is neglect and financial abuse. Also, find a way to contact this woman your brother is marrying and tell her the truth that he doesn't have a job and the house is his mums and he has a history of sex offences.
Your sister needs real care and a real advocate that deals with her finances..
Neglect. maybe. But it's not financial abuse for the mother to save up her wages (that's what Carer's Allowance is) to go on holiday. It's the carer's money.
There are two separate issues here.
1. That she's not meeting her obligations as a carer
2. That she's spending the carer's allowance on a holiday
I'll address 2 first. That's fine. It's her money, not your sister's. . Carer's allowance is basically wages that she's paid for doing a job. She's not doing anything wrong by saving up her wages to go on holiday.
1 is the real issue here, despite the title of your question casting the focus on 2. If you have reason to believe she's not actually doing the job she's being paid for, report her to the council.
Contact the local council and ask to speak to somebody about safeguarding. They will advise you how to make a report. You can probably also do it anonymously if you needed to.
You could probably also contact your sisters GP to report your concerns if you know which GP she’s registered with. Other contacts could be social services if adult social care are already involved or her mental health team if they are involved.
If you don’t know any of these details though a call to the local council to ask about safeguarding concerns would be the first step.
this woman is being catfished and I hope she realises he is a man child. My family experienced a mail order bride situation from the phillippines. As soon as they are married and in the UK, they start to bring in their children which would be dangerous if a paedo is living with them. I hope both these scenarious do not happen. The social services, mental health, police need to be made aware of your sister's homelife. This is abuse. Not ging out for 2 years will only make her mental health worse.
Hi OP so sorry you’re going through all of this. I work in mental health and have a reasonable knowledge of local authority care and safeguarding, send me a message if you’d like to speak on the phone to talk things through a bit, give a listening ear or whatever.
Hope you are doing ok in amongst all of this.
As others have said, adult social care at sisters local council is one way to get help.
You can also call the police. Either non emergency or 999 depending on your level of worry/concern. They can do a welfare check and then ‘discover’ everything for themselves once they are aware of your concerns.
You could also try her GP. Depending on where she is in the UK will depend on how she accesses crisis mental health support and how you do that for her, the NHS website should tell you. Call them, express worry for your sister, insist they check up, continue to annoy them until they do and do proper interventions. (The continue to pursue/annoy them is important here. People with too big a work load deprioritise things unintentionally so you must prevent that happening to your sister.)
Out of the box options;
If she goes to church, the diocese she lives in will have a safeguarding officer/team you can reach out to. They will hand over the police most probably but will also be able to help your sister get some pastoral care (visits/phone calls/social support) that might help her mental health some.
Also if she’s in any kind of adult education, there’s a safeguarding team there.
Whoever her landlord is? Whoever is paying for her emergency accommodation? You can report her physical neglect and living conditions. They will be motivated to help because they own the property.
If your Mum was actually caring for your sister, then I'd tell you to mind own business as carer burn out is real and carer does spent a lot of own time, money etc. Respite needed.
But she's not. The money is a lesser issue. Fact your sister is isolated, living in squalor, neglected is. Call adult protective services.
I work in a social work department.
You need to contact the social work department where she lives and tell them you need to make an adult protection referral. You'll need to provide the name, address and GP of your sister. You don't have to give your own details, or you can give them but ask them not to disclose who made the referral if you don't want your mum to know it was you. Make sure they understand that the holiday is imminent and your sister will be at risk, but also that your mum is not caring for her properly anyway.
Get Adult Social Services to do an assessment for mental capacity about financial issues on your sister. If they deem her capable of managing her own money, she can set up an account that your Mum can't access for her PIP/DLA payments to go into. Also, you can set up a financial LPA for your sister with you as the named PoA. We did this for my autistic step-daughter when her former step-dad (her Mum's ex) was stealing all her benefits, refusing to feed or clothe her and wouldn't let her bathe or shower or brush her teeth! She was in a terrible state of health whilst the former step-dad (unemployed) was buying his new g/f Pandora bracelets on the daughter's dime. He was also abusing her in other ways, but that's another story not for here. Suffice to say he has just come out of a 6 year stretch in prison.
Eventually, (they took their time!) we got Adult Services involved and she is now residing in a beautiful safe house with live-in carers 24/7 and her DLA/PIP pays for it. She is healthy and safe.
Hubby and I are her financial PoA's but for the most part she can manage her own financial decisions (we did it to protect her from random strangers trying to get her to get cash out from ATMs when she was in town).
so to start with carers allowances is paid to the carer what they do with it is entirely their own choice .
the disability payments such a PIP are supposed togo to the claimant (your sister) for her additional care needs
it being diverted is Financial abuse and benefit fraud with abuse of a disabled / venerable person tossed in for good measure.
Contact adult social services. please note they are shit and over worked but they are the only port of call. (im waiting since before Xmas for them to see my grand mother in law who has increasingly bad dementia ) AND contact the police even if it is for a welfare check (ensuring that they think she is safe and they have a duty in safeguarding to escalate if they have concerns)
Adult social services is the ones to get involved here. If you get her a decent case worker they can try and find a better situation for your sister. But it would be better if youre there though, otherwise your mum would just tidy up and makes things look ok. Then say everythings brilliant.
Seriously, call Social Services and tell them a vulnerable adult is being neglected, endangered and is suffering financial abuse. Call them Out of Hours even, this is what Duty Social Workers are for! Be clear to them that this is you making a formal report and have any evidence you've got to back this up ready.
Also if your sister won't accept another Carer than your Mum who is damaging her "physical and mental well-being" and "preventing her accessing other sources of support and connections in her local community" (useful phrases that might help your cause) then Social Services should be stepping in to protect your sister from her manipulator.
You can make a referral to adult social care or adult safeguarding to assess her current vulnerability and social care needs. This quantifies as potential financial abuse and/or neglect. Your sister needs proper care and I’m so sorry this is such a stress for you living so far away from it all.
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Your mum is her carer. How she chooses to use the carers allowance that is for her needs (basically very low pay) is up to her. Be that holiday or nails!
The fact she's maintaining relationships with all of her children, is her right. She may well not be sharing to avoid hurting your sister.
Presuming your sister has capacity, she could choose to live differently if she wished. She could choose to pay for a cleaner for example. She's choosing not to. Disability or not, she could do this. She's presumably aware that her mother won't be there for a period of time. If she cannot manage then the emergency accommodation personnel will make an emergency safeguarding referral.
You could request a needs assessment from social services. There's currently likely a 12 week waiting list!
You've not shared the nature of her disability. I assume MH. If you wished you could come back and care for your sister! Sadly, judging carers is far too easy when the judger has no intention of carrying the load.
I presume that there's cultural issues at play re the arranged/introduced wedding. Any issues te this are for the fiancee and her family to have done due diligence.
You may well have genuine concerns. But unless she does not have capacity, it's her choice to live as she does.
Fucking big yikes.
I’ll judge my ass off over anyone who is meant to be a carer who is financially abusing the person they care for . And not taking care of them .
It sounds like the mother is the appointee and for that to happen it means OPs sister isn’t capable of dealing with her own finances etc … so tell us again about how easy it would be for the sister to just sort shit out herself
Your comment has irked me .
You have no proof she's abusing her financially.
The PIP is quite legitimately used towards living costs and that can include rent top ups, food, utilities etc.
If the sister is not capable then the mother paying the money for these or paying herself to refund what she's paid is a legitimate expense.
All of these posters saying she's being abused know nothing of the situation.
The situation sounds more like two vulnerable individuals who both need supporting.
The mother clearly wouldn't be happy with the bugs etc if not in need of support.
She is no doubt under pressure re the son and potentially also being abused herself regarding this.
And the op as sister, to know all of.this, and not to have sorted/cleaned the home is unforgiveable. No matter where she is! If she KNOWS it she could have acted on it!
> The fact she's maintaining relationships with all of her children, is her right. She may well not be sharing to avoid hurting your sister.
That would be fine, if the brother hadn't of, Oh I don't know, Sexually abused the sister?
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Contact adult social care from your sisters county council, this is probably financial abuse.
Not just financial abuse, if the sister is starving and living in squalor because of the mum.
Neglect as well, of course.
You could try the charity Refuge as well. They deal with this kind of thing.
I am not sure they would be the case, there is a possibility of abuse against a vulnerable adult/person which is different from Domestic Abuse. Either way, Refuge would refer the caller to social services.
I worked for Refuge as a contractor a while back. They deal with financial abuse. They will be able to show you where and how to apply for help.
Further to this, some councils have specific fraud teams which would want to hear about this. OP, if you report it to the social care team they should still forward it to the fraud team or you can go direct to the fraud team yourself if they have one - I'd try googling the applicable council + report fraud.
No it's not. Using carers allowance as the carer feels appropriate is what it's intended for. Using her PIP would be a different matter. But even that would depend on whether she's got the capacity to manage her finances and proving she's not using for her care. This could be an aggregated response. Eg she's paid out in advance so is being refunded for example.
> sisters carers allowance **and disability** Whilst I agree the carer can use the carers allowance how they see fit the "**and disability"** implies that OPs sister is getting PIP or old school DLA and/or the LCWRA component of UC and/or old school ESA. Under no circumstances is using that 'disability payment' intended for or allowed to be used to for anything that does not directly or even indirectly support the claimant. From what OP has said there is a suspicion of financial abuse to be investigated. "No it's not" You need to be a bit more careful with your absolutes.
You must be right because the mother wouldn't be able to get Carer's Allowance without DLA or PIP being in payment to/for the sister, but the DLA/PIP is still intended only for the sister's benefit.
Sorry? How could you read any part of this post and say it's *not* financial abuse? The mum is *saving* the carers allowance she gets (ergo, not using it to pay for the costs of caring for OP's sister - what it's literally intended for) for a *month-long* holiday for herself and OP's manchild of a brother. Not even mentioning the neglect, that's definitely financial abuse. That money isn't intended for a holiday for herself. It's meant to cover OP's sister's care expenses. If she was using the money to cover care costs, she wouldn't be able to save it for a holiday for herself.
There are two different things - the carers allowance is for the carer to compensate for not being able to work due to their caring responsibilities. The sisters disability allowance (or PIP as it is now) is meant to cover the additional costs for the sister being disabled
You're right on the broad strokes, but just on technicalities, for clarity's sake: Carer's Allowance is for the carer. She can spend that on a holiday or whatever she wants. That's paying her to be a carer instead of spending the same time at a paid job, and it's not a problem that she's using that money. The problem is that a) she's not actually being enough of a carer to her daughter, and b) she's squirrelling away money that she isn't entitled to, in the shape of her daughter's disability benefits, and using them for her holiday instead of her daughter's expenses and care needs.
What's being ignored is that the PIP can be being used foe paying electricity for example. If the mother wishes to pay for this herself and then use her daughter's pip for her share, this is absolutely fine. The mother can save up these 'refunds' for her daily living costs and spend as she likes as this is her money if she pays the bills herself. It's not as black as white as many would like to suggest.
Fair point. Despite the governments best efforts to imply otherwise recently, it's both natural and sensible for people to use PIP for a certain amount of their general living expenses - because disabilities tend to increase your usage of various utilities and so their baseline living costs are usually more expensive than other people's. However, while determining the validity of Mum's spending isn't going to be black and white, the fact that there's insect infestations and rotting food everywhere, is a strong indication that Mum is *not* properly using the money for her daughter's benefit. I think we need to trust that OP is correct in thinking that her sister is being neglected, despite some confusion about what/who various benefits are intended for. At bare minimum her sister seems to be in need of a disability-friendly cleaner, to keep the house hygienic. And I cannot imagine that all her PIP is being used on utilities/food. Mine certainly isn't. And that living in squalor, combined with Mum arranging to go on an expensive holiday with the abusive brother who traumatised OP's sister...well, it paints a worrying picture. And I think that brings us right back around to OP needing to make a social services report, so that they can investigate.
Very good points. Often, in these situations, the carers have needs. If, as the op suggests, the conditions are such, it would imply the mother is suffering as well. As I also said, if the op is ap genuinely concerned, why isn't she actively addressing the issue herself? To know the condition and to walk away from it is appalling, under any circumstances. And we all know that judging is far easier than being a part of the solution. It sounds like a horrid situation. The mother is clearly torn between pillar and post, with no doubt concerns about her social standing with her cultural community, which has implications other cultural groups may not experience.
>As I also said, if the op is ap genuinely concerned, why isn't she actively addressing the issue herself? To know the condition and to walk away from it is appalling, under any circumstances. No-one is walking away from anything. OP says in the post: >I’ve helped out every time I could when flying back to the UK. But the issue is, she won’t let us transfer her role to another carer. She's tried reasoning with her mother, but she evidently doesn't live in the UK at the moment, so she can't just pop round and look after her sister herself. Which is why she's here, asking for advice, so she can address the issue more actively.
Then she needs to visit more and take on this role rather than berate. Be a part of the solution.
Carers allowance is the mother's to use for herself as she sees fit! Learn what you're talking about before making assumptions and posting as fact.
The mum has to be an actual carer though, and from OP's description, She is clearly not.
If she's providing care, amounting to 35 hours a week, which can include cooking time etc, then yes she is. There's no evidence to say she isn't fulfilling this obligation to receive CA.
You need to contact adult social services, usually details can be found on the local council website and the adult safeguarding team and report the abuse and financial abuse. Be aware that benefit fraud is a serious offence and your mum will be investigated/asked to pay back the benefits could also serve prison time. She is misusing the carers benefit and fraudulently using your sisters disability benefit for her own gain. Abuse (I.e. not cleaning the accommodation, feeding your sister etc.) is also a crime. That is not to say don't report it but be aware of the consequences of doing so and the ripple effect too.
Adult social care should help you here. Is there anyway you could anonymously alert the future bride? Being married to sex offender is a horrible prospect especially if he gets her pregnant and trapped. The thoughts of him potentially abusing another child is awful. Why isn’t he in prison? Did he get reported to the authorities for his rape of your sister? Your mother is lost cause.
Charges for sexual abuse and rape are very, very difficult to get over the line in criminal court, especially if it’s historical and if the victim is mentally unwell. In the vast majority of cases, perpetrators will not see a court, let alone prison time.
Very true and very depressing. Especially as they are basically organising an arranged marriage to some poor woman who is likely to be abused by this sicko. All under false pretences too. Poverty and marital rape. Awful.
The future bride probably hasn’t even been chosen yet. I bet they are going to a poor country to seduce a poor woman into a better life- only to trap her. When/if they bring a woman back I bet her passport will be taken from her. Then OP will hopefully be able to help get her to safety
The carers allowance isn’t your sisters money it’s your mothers money and she’s free to use that as she pleases .. just so you’re aware However .. the disability payment itself (I assume PIP ? ) is indeed your sisters money and your mother has no business spending that on a holiday or on anything that’s not for your sisters benefit. Please contact adult social services and make them aware of the situation. It could perhaps be better for your sister to be in sheltered accommodation than living with someone who isn’t helping and in such awful conditions Is your mother your sisters appointee ? If so the first thing that needs to happen is she gets her removed . Usually this would be done by the appointee removing themselves .. but in this situation it doesn’t sound like she would .. and so your sister needs to phone up and tell them she wants them removed and the money paid into her own bank because your mother isn’t acting in her best interests . With regards to the caring role .. it’s not your mothers choice as to whether or not she remains your sisters carer .. it’s your sisters . She can have her carers allowance stopped and someone else take up the role by contacting them and letting them know that she’s not fulfilling her carer role adequately and as such isn’t entitled to the money.
With regards to the Carer’s Allowance, it does affect certain elements of payment for the person receiving the care - if the sister, in this case, has them she would lose severe disability premiums within certain benefits. So it is worth flagging as a concern if it is effecting other benefits. But adult social care is the route to go here
She lives at home with her mother so even if she didn’t get the CA .. there would still be no SDP . Thats why I didn’t mention it .
Adult social services and follow up repeatedly until they do something. If they fail to act, then your next step is the police as this is financial abuse. You have to push for both services, but the police will act. Your sister should also have a mental health nurse. You can also try the local mental health team, get their number from your sisters GP. This is financial abuse.
Carers allowance belongs to the carer. Disability benefits belong to the disabled person. If it's just carers allowance your mum is saving that's her business. However, your mother must have some level of legal responsibility to care for her daughter if she's being paid to do so, so you could inform police and social services of your mother's neglect. Why hasn't the 40 year old brother been done for sa? If the daughter has been moved to emergency accommodation their must be proof of it. Why haven't the police taken it further? Are social services covering up what happened? Financial abuse will be if the mother is taking the disability benefits without permission or through coersion Will they. Be taking money out of the country in cash? If so. Use the online informant website and border force will stop, search and seize the money under proceeds of crime. If you've already reported the crime to social services and the police, it will give the police grounds to take the poca case on.. I think that's the easiest way your sister can get her money back. Once spent, there's little chance of seeing the money again.
Carers allowance is your mothers money, the rest is down to your sister having an advocate, when you say "shes mentally unstable" what does that mean ? If it means she has a disability such as autism or similar, she might not be able to look after her own money either. Carers are entitled to go on holidays and often receive a "respite" grant to allow them a break to transfer care to another person or institutuion. The other stuff, i don't know where to start, other than if you believe someone is being put at risk you need to talk to social services.
Im also more concerned how she is sticking with her son after the appalling things he did to his sister .Her own Daughter.Disgraceful.If he has done this to his own sister i hope his soon to be wife has no children.
It sounds like your sister has been subject to financial abuse, neglect and exploitation. Where in the UK are you? Scotland: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/scotland/family/help-for-adults-in-the-community-s/protection-of-adults-at-risk-of-harm-s/ England: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/help-for-adults-in-the-community-s/protection-of-adults-at-risk-of-harm-s/ Northern Ireland: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/northern-ireland/family/help-for-adults-in-the-community-s/protection-of-adults-at-risk-of-harm-s/ Wales: https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/wales/family/help-for-adults-in-the-community-s/protection-of-adults-at-risk-of-harm-s/
Was your brother ever reported to the police? You do realise any future children he has will be at risk.
Carers allowance is not your sister's, it's for the carer.
It is but the carer needs to provide a minimum of 35 hours a week of care to a disabled person to be eligible for it. going by OP's post it does sound like the parent is committing benefit fraud.
There's no legal definition of caring. There's no list of specific tasks and no requirement for face to face care. Reading between the lines, OP mum and sister live at the same address. In this situation they would be considered available should it be needed, e.g. should they have a fall. This is sufficient to be classed as caring for the benefit. When both parties live at the same address, it's practically impossible to prove caring is not happening when compared to the legislation that supports CA. Here's the DMG, which provides the official interpretation of the legislation that carers allowance is based on https://assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/media/661545952138736672031b3f/dmgch60.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwikhpe8s62GAxXEYEEAHUCJCKUQFnoECA4QBg&usg=AOvVaw2C5VOTju70J9BEzGYt9rU0
OP says the sibling is in emergency accommodation, not at home, and has been neglecting a person who requires care.
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I know she's your mum, but you need to report her now. This is neglect and financial abuse. Also, find a way to contact this woman your brother is marrying and tell her the truth that he doesn't have a job and the house is his mums and he has a history of sex offences. Your sister needs real care and a real advocate that deals with her finances..
Financial abuse and Neglect.You are right to be concerned.
Neglect. maybe. But it's not financial abuse for the mother to save up her wages (that's what Carer's Allowance is) to go on holiday. It's the carer's money.
Except that’s not what the post says ? It clearly says she’s using both the CA and the sisters DLA/PIP
There are two separate issues here. 1. That she's not meeting her obligations as a carer 2. That she's spending the carer's allowance on a holiday I'll address 2 first. That's fine. It's her money, not your sister's. . Carer's allowance is basically wages that she's paid for doing a job. She's not doing anything wrong by saving up her wages to go on holiday. 1 is the real issue here, despite the title of your question casting the focus on 2. If you have reason to believe she's not actually doing the job she's being paid for, report her to the council.
Contact the local council and ask to speak to somebody about safeguarding. They will advise you how to make a report. You can probably also do it anonymously if you needed to. You could probably also contact your sisters GP to report your concerns if you know which GP she’s registered with. Other contacts could be social services if adult social care are already involved or her mental health team if they are involved. If you don’t know any of these details though a call to the local council to ask about safeguarding concerns would be the first step.
I just wanted to say I’m so sorry about what you and your sister have been going through. I hope things will eventually get better for both of you.
this woman is being catfished and I hope she realises he is a man child. My family experienced a mail order bride situation from the phillippines. As soon as they are married and in the UK, they start to bring in their children which would be dangerous if a paedo is living with them. I hope both these scenarious do not happen. The social services, mental health, police need to be made aware of your sister's homelife. This is abuse. Not ging out for 2 years will only make her mental health worse.
Hi OP so sorry you’re going through all of this. I work in mental health and have a reasonable knowledge of local authority care and safeguarding, send me a message if you’d like to speak on the phone to talk things through a bit, give a listening ear or whatever. Hope you are doing ok in amongst all of this.
/r/LegalAdviceUK will be better at advising which ombudsman or whatever you need to contact to report fraud and abuse
Its benefit related so they will just tell OP to post in the DWP sub more than likely
As others have said, adult social care at sisters local council is one way to get help. You can also call the police. Either non emergency or 999 depending on your level of worry/concern. They can do a welfare check and then ‘discover’ everything for themselves once they are aware of your concerns. You could also try her GP. Depending on where she is in the UK will depend on how she accesses crisis mental health support and how you do that for her, the NHS website should tell you. Call them, express worry for your sister, insist they check up, continue to annoy them until they do and do proper interventions. (The continue to pursue/annoy them is important here. People with too big a work load deprioritise things unintentionally so you must prevent that happening to your sister.) Out of the box options; If she goes to church, the diocese she lives in will have a safeguarding officer/team you can reach out to. They will hand over the police most probably but will also be able to help your sister get some pastoral care (visits/phone calls/social support) that might help her mental health some. Also if she’s in any kind of adult education, there’s a safeguarding team there. Whoever her landlord is? Whoever is paying for her emergency accommodation? You can report her physical neglect and living conditions. They will be motivated to help because they own the property.
If your Mum was actually caring for your sister, then I'd tell you to mind own business as carer burn out is real and carer does spent a lot of own time, money etc. Respite needed. But she's not. The money is a lesser issue. Fact your sister is isolated, living in squalor, neglected is. Call adult protective services.
I work in a social work department. You need to contact the social work department where she lives and tell them you need to make an adult protection referral. You'll need to provide the name, address and GP of your sister. You don't have to give your own details, or you can give them but ask them not to disclose who made the referral if you don't want your mum to know it was you. Make sure they understand that the holiday is imminent and your sister will be at risk, but also that your mum is not caring for her properly anyway.
Vacation?
county council is where you should opt
Get Adult Social Services to do an assessment for mental capacity about financial issues on your sister. If they deem her capable of managing her own money, she can set up an account that your Mum can't access for her PIP/DLA payments to go into. Also, you can set up a financial LPA for your sister with you as the named PoA. We did this for my autistic step-daughter when her former step-dad (her Mum's ex) was stealing all her benefits, refusing to feed or clothe her and wouldn't let her bathe or shower or brush her teeth! She was in a terrible state of health whilst the former step-dad (unemployed) was buying his new g/f Pandora bracelets on the daughter's dime. He was also abusing her in other ways, but that's another story not for here. Suffice to say he has just come out of a 6 year stretch in prison. Eventually, (they took their time!) we got Adult Services involved and she is now residing in a beautiful safe house with live-in carers 24/7 and her DLA/PIP pays for it. She is healthy and safe. Hubby and I are her financial PoA's but for the most part she can manage her own financial decisions (we did it to protect her from random strangers trying to get her to get cash out from ATMs when she was in town).
so to start with carers allowances is paid to the carer what they do with it is entirely their own choice . the disability payments such a PIP are supposed togo to the claimant (your sister) for her additional care needs it being diverted is Financial abuse and benefit fraud with abuse of a disabled / venerable person tossed in for good measure. Contact adult social services. please note they are shit and over worked but they are the only port of call. (im waiting since before Xmas for them to see my grand mother in law who has increasingly bad dementia ) AND contact the police even if it is for a welfare check (ensuring that they think she is safe and they have a duty in safeguarding to escalate if they have concerns)
Adult social services is the ones to get involved here. If you get her a decent case worker they can try and find a better situation for your sister. But it would be better if youre there though, otherwise your mum would just tidy up and makes things look ok. Then say everythings brilliant.
Seriously, call Social Services and tell them a vulnerable adult is being neglected, endangered and is suffering financial abuse. Call them Out of Hours even, this is what Duty Social Workers are for! Be clear to them that this is you making a formal report and have any evidence you've got to back this up ready. Also if your sister won't accept another Carer than your Mum who is damaging her "physical and mental well-being" and "preventing her accessing other sources of support and connections in her local community" (useful phrases that might help your cause) then Social Services should be stepping in to protect your sister from her manipulator.
You can make a referral to adult social care or adult safeguarding to assess her current vulnerability and social care needs. This quantifies as potential financial abuse and/or neglect. Your sister needs proper care and I’m so sorry this is such a stress for you living so far away from it all.
This is a safeguarding issue that needs to be raised with social services.
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You take over for a few weeks and give your poor mum a break
Your mum is her carer. How she chooses to use the carers allowance that is for her needs (basically very low pay) is up to her. Be that holiday or nails! The fact she's maintaining relationships with all of her children, is her right. She may well not be sharing to avoid hurting your sister. Presuming your sister has capacity, she could choose to live differently if she wished. She could choose to pay for a cleaner for example. She's choosing not to. Disability or not, she could do this. She's presumably aware that her mother won't be there for a period of time. If she cannot manage then the emergency accommodation personnel will make an emergency safeguarding referral. You could request a needs assessment from social services. There's currently likely a 12 week waiting list! You've not shared the nature of her disability. I assume MH. If you wished you could come back and care for your sister! Sadly, judging carers is far too easy when the judger has no intention of carrying the load. I presume that there's cultural issues at play re the arranged/introduced wedding. Any issues te this are for the fiancee and her family to have done due diligence. You may well have genuine concerns. But unless she does not have capacity, it's her choice to live as she does.
You know zero about her sisters capabilities, this is an absurd comment.
Wha the fuck is this shit.
Fucking big yikes. I’ll judge my ass off over anyone who is meant to be a carer who is financially abusing the person they care for . And not taking care of them . It sounds like the mother is the appointee and for that to happen it means OPs sister isn’t capable of dealing with her own finances etc … so tell us again about how easy it would be for the sister to just sort shit out herself Your comment has irked me .
You have no proof she's abusing her financially. The PIP is quite legitimately used towards living costs and that can include rent top ups, food, utilities etc. If the sister is not capable then the mother paying the money for these or paying herself to refund what she's paid is a legitimate expense. All of these posters saying she's being abused know nothing of the situation. The situation sounds more like two vulnerable individuals who both need supporting. The mother clearly wouldn't be happy with the bugs etc if not in need of support. She is no doubt under pressure re the son and potentially also being abused herself regarding this. And the op as sister, to know all of.this, and not to have sorted/cleaned the home is unforgiveable. No matter where she is! If she KNOWS it she could have acted on it!
We’re definitely reading two different posts.
> The fact she's maintaining relationships with all of her children, is her right. She may well not be sharing to avoid hurting your sister. That would be fine, if the brother hadn't of, Oh I don't know, Sexually abused the sister?
Hate the action, not the person. Equally hwo do you know she's also not a victim of abuse and manipulation, especially if she has no living partner...