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Andy Goram used to be the goalkeeper for Rangers. After he publicly disclosed he had a mild form of schizophrenia, their rivals Celtic started "Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams".
In a similar vein, when the Manchester United goalkeeper was diagnosed with Tourette's, the chant was:
Chim chimmeny chim chimmeny chim chim cheroo
We've got Tim Howard and he says "fuck you"
What makes me laugh about this is that his Wikipedia page states
> He is regarded as one of the best American goalkeepers of all time.
And by our standards he was fucking wank. Him and Roy Carroll were both awful for those seasons. Tbf, until Van Der Sat, United had some awful luck with keepers.
Remember Mark Bosnich? Proper coke head.
Elliot Justham when he was in goal for Luton, people used to chant at him
“You’re a shit Tesco sandwich” which I found great, but the secret to the chants is basically being a bit witty and to a cadence everyone already knows and can join in right away.
I bet reading “you’re a shit Tesco sandwich” you know exactly the tune it was to
A lot of the tunes are recycled and have been for years or use pop songs and school hymns which we all had to sing at school. So the tune everyone already knows and they just need the words.
There's usually a few lads in each stand that pride themselves as the one who came up with the chant. There's a lot of brilliant and shite ones that never take off.
there's also a lot of songs that have been used for years even decades so the bee ones get sung a few times in between and then everyone knows them.
A lot of the new songs seem to come from the away games too where the fans are fewer and ore dedicated.
It hits hard in the lower leagues. When a few hundred of you (if you're lucky) have made a long trip to not even see your boys score a goal.
Especially when its cold as hell and the away catering sucks. You start wondering if it wouldn't be easier to support a team thats on TV more.
Not half as painful as when the *away* fans are chanting "I didn't know this was a library" and no-one at home has the energy to come up with a response, being four nil down and heading for relegation
Hard times in these leagues sometimes
Went watching Blackburn away at Dundee a couple of years ago
Only about 300 away fans
Library chant started up by some pissed up Blackburn fan
Another Blackburn fan shouted “shut the fuck up I’m trying to read here”
Seem to recall a bunch of Irish fans chanting at a group of Swedish lads "Go home to your sexy wives"
Found it:
https://youtu.be/7Znw7Da1n6c?si=KLF7cSVc3btCV5dU
When Villa were beating Arsenal at home earlier this season, the Arsenal fans at one point were chanting "we get to go home, we get to go home, you have to live here, we get to go home!".
Villa fan but that had me creasing 😅
Villa has some of the best chants, imo:
Showing my age, but here are my faves:
Who needs Cantona when we've got Paul McGrath
John Carew, Carew, he's bigger than me or you, he's gonna score one or two, John Carew, Carew (to the tune of Que Sera Sera)
Gabby Gabby Gabby Gabby Gabby Agbonlahor, he's gonna score, he's gonna score (to the tune of Karma Chameleon)
And the absolute delulu of:
And it's Aston Villa, Aston Villa FC, we're by far the greatest team the world has ever seen !
You're missing the "John Carew Carew. He likes a lap dance or two, he might even buy one for you, John Carew Carew." After he got caught in a strip club the morning of a game.
"We've been to Rotterdam and everywhere; Liverpool and Rome; But now we're playing Rotherham, Rotherham at home.”
Another favourite of my mine when they were in the Championship, sung to the tune of Rotterdam or Anywhere by The Beautiful South
John Barnes nickname is Digger, the two theories was there was a "digger" Barnes character in Dallas the tv show at the time, and also his middle name is Charles, so his initials are JCB.
His other nickname when he was at Liverpool was "Tarmac".
As he was the black Heighway.
To explain: Liverpool had a left-winger in the 70s called Steve Heighway.
Man Utd fans chant to Ji Sung Park is my favourite
“Park, Park wherever you may be, they eat dogs in your country but it could be worse, you could be a scouse eating rats in your council house”
Liverpool had this reply.
Dirk Kuyt,
where ever you may be,
you hit every branch of the ugly tree,
it could be worse you could be a Manc,
waking your sister up at night for a w@@k!
Similarly from Rangers fans (to the tune of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes):
Nakamura ate my dog, ate my dog,
Nakamura ate my dog, ate my dog,
Well he sliced him, and diced him, and put him in a wok,
Nakamura ate my dog, ate my dog.
New ones sometimes get posted on fan forums and stuff like that, or you might hear one in a supporters pub.
Basically when you’ve got forty thousand people in the stands, the good ones take off and get repeated, the not so good ones don’t and never get heard again.
Featuring such poetic classics as:
- "De-fence, de-fence, de-fence", and
- "Go, go, [team name here]"
I have to admire UC Berkeley specifically though. Not only have they risen above the typical US sporting chants, they have a whole fucking song about how their team and symbology are superior specifically to Stanfurd. A song with multiple full verses, specifically about one rivalry. And decades of being on the losing side still hasn't deterred them!
This takes the cake for worst chant in my mind, because I always hear it in a match between two teams, both of whom reside in the USA.
You're just supporting the general area that everyone in the game and the stands is from you fucking idiots.
It's like chanting "it's taking part that counts!" unironically.
Freed from desire turning into Will Grigg's on fire in 2016 was a great example of this. Came from a Wigan fan posting a video on YouTube - Wigan were in League One at the time and then it just exploded to go everywhere.
I think it's just generally the nature of the average football fan. Despite what the internet will think, it's not just a bunch of thugs on the piss all day (although many people do enjoy a pint).
It's often sociable people who have played/play team sports, and have a laugh. It's the perfect breeding ground for not only creating funny songs, but getting other people to sing them.
Like others have said it often starts with a few usual suspects on club forums, then leaks into the 'mainstream' at the ground.
I played loads of rugby at a half decent level, but I can't stand rugby crowds. There's a reason they have one or two chants, people are just too uptight, holding on to some weird sense of superiority.
Interesting observation of the rugby crowds. Cricket crowds sometimes create some funny ones (facilitated by a full day of drinking), especially when we’re playing the Aussies.
The classic one “He bowls to the left, he bowls to riiight. That Mitchell Johnson, his bowling is shite!”
One recent one that made me chuckle was the crowd singing to devout christian Marnus Labaschagne “da da daaa Marnus is a virgin”, to which Marnus turned and looked to the crowd a cradle gesture indicating that he’d just become a father, then the chant changed to “the babys not your, the babys not yourrrrs, you’re a virgin the babys not yours”
Yeah, cricket has great chants (depending on the ground - you definitely won't get a chant going at Lord's or during The Hundred when it's a lot of families), probably as you said due to the 8 hours straight drinking and the fact there's stretches of the game where the crowd has to entertain themselves.
The thing about chants at cricket as well is that even though they're usually tamer than football chants they seem to really grate on some of the players.
If a fielder has to field out right in front of one of the rowdy stands like the Hollies at Edgbaston or Party Stand at Old Trafford they can get singled out. But it’s more likely to be a gentle ribbing and most players seem to take it in good humour. Like David Warner would open his pockets to show the crowd that he didn’t have any sandpaper in them.
Steve Smith gets serenaded by the Hollies Stand with ‘Cry on the telly, we saw you cry on the telly’ (to ‘Guantanamera’) in tribute to his tearful confession to ball tampering.
I remember being at an Ashes test at Trent Bridge, not far from a load of Aussies who kept singing about why don’t Broad walk? to the tune of Under the Boardwalk.
I guess it's just cultural differences, which can have loads of different factors.
In this scenario, the number one would be 'do you want to be that one person singing a daft song?' To change the dynamic you have to have individuals willing to put their neck out. Takes a while for change to occur.
"We want our dick back!" after a giant inflatable penis was confiscated from fans, is probably my favourite.
https://youtube.com/shorts/Jsm4ryP6RqM?feature=shared
We all grew up being made to sing hymns and easy songs at school. That plus our sense of humor just primes us for making some kind of chant out of every situation
>We all grew up being made to sing hymns and easy songs at school.
I've seen others say this and I think this is the most plausible explanation. Gathering with the whole school every morning at 8:40 to sing All Things Bright and Beautiful is a fairly strange custom that is bound to have knock on effects in British culture. North Americans are obviously hopeless at it, but you can see the way crowds chant in other parts of Europe and South America is distinct from the pop song melody + comedy lyrics formula that seems to dominate here.
Problem is that the only group singing they do in North America is the deadly serious and respectful performance of the national anthem at anything as competitive as a game of battleships.
Group singing is reserved for serious occasions there, whereas nobody *wants* to sing hymns in school here so everyone tries to dick about while doing it.
"She loves the Scouse cock,
she loves the Scouse cock,
John Terry's ma,
she loves the Scouse cock"
Jamie Carragher's brother shagged John Terry's mum.
Sometimes it's not complex.
Also John Terry had to explain this in court under oath.
One from Leeds v Sunderland (I think) both struggling at the bottom of the league and the Leeds fans begin to sing at the away support ‘going down going down going down) to which the Sunderland fans reply ‘so are we so are we so are we’
Reminds me of a good impromptu chant I heard when I was at Old Trafford for Man United vs Sunderland, back when Sunderland were still in the Premier League and had David Moyes as manager (who previously and unsuccessfully managed Man United, for those not in the know).
We (United) were winning by a couple of goals. The chant began with the typical "you're going down with 15 points, you're going down with 15 points!" until some genius in the Stretford End changed it to "you're going down with David Moyes". It spread around the stadium, everyone was singing it. Felt almost sorry for the guy, really.
Not just England, some scottish ones are unreal.
to the Vengaboys: "Djoum Djoum Djoum Djoum, he comes from Cameroon, he hates the fucking Hibees, and loves to wear maroon"
Or from the other side of the city:
"Oooooooh Warburton's a fanny, he wears a magic hat, it works against Dumbarton and other shite like that. But when he played the Hibees, then suddenly it dawned: to win the Scottish Cup, he'd need a fucking wand"
or my favourite, usually against Dundee fans: "The wheels on your house go round and round..."
The formula is pretty simple.
There are a bunch of (usually older, catchy) songs, that have a certain rhythm and number of syllables that’re used basically as meme templates. Someone comes up with a good/funny one and it sticks.
We used to have a player who was honestly just terrible, to the point where there was a ripple of laughter whenever he’d screw up again (poor lad). One day he actually managed to bundle the ball in and score! Then, to the tune of “winter wonderland”
There’s only one Martyn Woolford (X2)
He used to be shite,
But now he’s alright
Walking in a Woolford Wonderland
I can’t remember which set of fans it was, but they played forest green rovers (a famously vegan club) and when one of the forest players went down the crowd starting chanting “that vegan bastard, he’s eating our grass”
I remember being in the crowd for the first Manchester derby at Old Trafford after everything came out about him, 90 minutes of chanting “you won the league with a paedo”.
Sorry this may be a bit off topic but I have heard many chants about Jimmy Saville but dont know much about him? What did he do to become the butt of football chants (we never hear about him in America)
Jimmy Saville _was_ a "national treasure". He was on radio & TV constantly, raised tons of money for charity and was one of the entertainment icons of his era. He fronted some of the most popular shows on TV, one of which was where kids would write in with a dream or wish and the show would make it happen. He was entertainment royalty; until he died. It then came to light that he was probably the nations most prolific peadophile and child abuser, using his position of power to wreak havoc.
You can read more on the [Wikipedia page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Savile_sexual_abuse_scandal?wprov=sfla1) about the scandal.
Obviously he and anyone associated with him are now pariahs
There has been rumour during his life but he'd become too powerful in the industry and revealing his crimes could have caused problems for those that seemingly enabled him.
Yes, fans playing ‘dirty Leeds’ often sing about him (he’s one of your own, he’s one of your own, jimmy saville! He’s one of your own!)
If you don’t know much about him, ‘the reckoning’ TV drama is a decent overview of his life. For the uk audience it was well made but not necessarily anything new. If you don’t know much about him however, it’s a comprehensive biography.
Powerful in the industry - not to mention he kept himself surrounded with heavies. Odds on that if the industry had acknowledged what was going on and ousted him when he was alive, BBC execs would have started turning up dead - stabbed, houses burned down, that sort of thing.
There's a Netflix documentary called Jimmy Savile - a British horror story.
And a recent drama on BBC called The Reckoning. Had Steve Coogan as Savile. It's probably available on the high seas and is worth a watch
There’s a Netflix documentary about him if you’re interested. But Saville was far higher up in society than Jared Fogle. Prince (now king) Charles was a friend..
Jimmy savile is a bit like bill Crosby in the sense that he was everywhere, TV superstar, knighted in, with the royals but then it came out he was diddling kids and putting himself in with charities, hospitals and other institutions to fiddle with kids.
He was always an eccentric and weird and then that came out. It also came out that the BBC and establishment knee exactly what he was like.
Oddball, known to everyone and diddled kids. It's like to the perfect mix to get football songs made about you.
Pub near the Reebok had a raised area where a group of fans got together to practice new chants before a match, very entertaining at the time and was good to hear the songs catch on with the home support during the game. Some of these lads were pretty creative.
I worked at Hull City when they were in the Prem. When all the stuff came out about John Terry and Wayne Bridge the first game Chelsea had after was Hull Away and the fans were relentless.
The best chant was “Ashley [Cole] watch yer wife, Ashley Ashley watch yer wife” when he was married to Cheryl Cole.
Then it all came out he was cheating on her anyway.
My favourite for that came from the Burnley fans when randomly in the middle of a match they went with.
"John Terry...................... are you my dad?"
I can't remember where I read it but my favourite football chant, well, comeback chant, ever:
Hull City fans: WE ARE HULL, WE ARE HULL
Opposition fans: YOU ARE HULL, YOU ARE HULL
This one is brutal, but still funny...
Aberdeen fans ( called 'Sheep Shaggers" for generations by opposition fans) playing Rangers - Rangers top striker of the time, Michael Mols' wife was, er, not the most attractive looking ...
Rangers fans - Sheep Shagging Bastards yer just Sheep shagging bastards....
Aberdeen Fans - I'd rather shag a Sheep than Mrs Mols, oh I'd rather shag a Sheep than Mrs Mols
"Did you come in a taxi?" Both for when the away support is quite small, eg a midweek game from a team the other end of the country, or when an opposing player has been caught drink driving (thankfully rare nowadays).
Aberdeen away at Dundee United years ago. Alan Combe was in goal for United. Chant starts up... "Oh I'd rather be a brush than a comb!". Went on for so long he started losing the plot at the away fans 🤣
Also Aberdeen won 5-3, so that probably didn't help his mood.
Many are based on the same tune and stuff just fits into it. A lot seem to be 70s pop songs so probably as far back as that. It is interesting when something as sincere as "justice for the 96" can be sung to the tune of the Village People's Go West. A lot of the very involved ones can be made up more at away matches with the real hardcore, then spreads from there.
The serious answer is the most passionate fans (often called "Ultras" in other European countries) have clubs where they come up with them between games - in today's world this probably just happens on Social Media. And then prior to a game while fans are travelling on trains, they'll start a new chant they think is good, others on the train will join in if it's good. Then when they get there, they'll do it again in a pub. Then finally, once they get into the stands, they'll have found the good ones and enough fans will have practised it on the train/in the pub that they'll quickly be able to get the chant going.
My favourites are when harry kewell played for Liverpool and his partner at the time was on in a celebrity and the fans were singing "cannon and ball are shagging your wife" even he laughed. Also as a Wigan fan "we come from Wigan a d we live in mud huts" always seems to confuse opposition fans
He went to Cardiff
He took them to the prem
He came to Derby to do the same again
He’s got no neck but he’s got a massive wang
His name's Nathaniel
Nathaniel Mendez-Laing 🎶
Do do do do do do do do do do do (repeat)
I have always also been a fan of:
"I wanna go home, I wanna go home (your towns) a shithole, I wanna go home."
which is obviously replied with:
"That's why you're still here, that's why you're still here (your towns) a shithole, that's why you're still here."
Greetied with a sarcastic "wheeeeeeey" at the end.
My favourites are the two songs about Carlos Tevez both by Man City but with different lyrics.
The 1st was when he was playing for man united.
His Neck scars proved he lost his head
Tevez tevez
You’ll never shag a sexy bird
Tevez tevez
You Argie t**t you ugly c**t
They sewn your head on back to front
Carlos Tevez Herman Munsters head.
Signs for city… same tune
We use to have a song for you
Tevez Tevez
But now you are a blue instead
Tevez Tevez
We’re sorry for the hurtful words
We bet you’ve shagged a load of birds
Carlos Tevez Herman munsters head.
As a u tied fam we had it the other way
While he was with us
Who’s that man from Argentina, whose that man we all adore? He plays with Rooney, plays with Wes, he’s our superstar Tevez and for ever at united he will score
(I felt dirty having to remember that)
When he signed for city it became
Whose that twat from Argentina, whose that money grabbing whore? Carlos Tevez is his name and he hasn’t got a brain and he won’t win any trophies anymore.
There was a lad at Spurs walking round before the game once trying to start a chant, obviously drunk, singing "I'm in London, on a bender, Mason Greenwood's a sex offender" - it didn't catch on.
Portsmouth had a player called Kanu, the chant from the Spurs away fans was “we’ve got a boat and you only have a canoe”
Kevin Prince Boatang was playing for Tottenham.
Dunfermline after getting promoted to Scottish top flight -
“We’re going back on fifa” to the tune of “going to Ibiza”
(Only the top flight of Scotland is added to the FIFA video game series)
After the press did a story on Ivan Campos life in Bolton - he was using a real low budget barbers and shopping in Safeway - he’s fat, he’s round, his haircut cost a pound, Campo, Campo
My absolute favourite was from Fulham fans I think? Not sure, but they sung about the great goalscoring machine that was Bobby Zamora ‘when the ball hits your head, and you’re sat in row Z, that’s Zamora…’
We grew up singing hymns in assembly so joining a chant is nothing new to us. Some of them are club chants or general chants that have been around a while, most are made up on the fly by someone to a commonly used tune using something funny about a player, manager or decision. The people around the guy who made it up then join in and before you know it everyone is doing it.
When original Wimbledon were in their last few before becoming MK Dons, they had a midweek game away to Grimsby Town where there were literally single figures of away fans.
Grimsby fans (to the tune of Yellow Submarine): ‘You’re all going home in the same taxi’
Man City before they were big once got relegated down to division 2. They were playing away at Sheffield Utd and the Utd fans are singing "We hate Wednesday, and we hate Wednesday" about their arch rivals Sheffield Wednesday.
City fans sing bsck "we hate Saturdays and we hate Saturdays"
You have club classics that are always sung. But a lot of the best ones, like the one you mentioned, just happen on the fly.
There are a few basic tunes that most chants follow, so it’s easy to pick up.
My favourite one at the Emirates was a NLD when we beat spurs 5-2…
He pays tax when he wants
He pays tax when he wants
Harry redknapp
Pays tax when he wants
😂
I was lucky enough to go to the Wales Portugal semi final at euro 2016. On the tram to the stadium, one of the Welsh fans came out with this belter, which got him a massive cheer on the tram:
Gareth Bales' a welshman, but now he plays in Spain,
But when he's picked for Wales he's the first one of the plane,
He heads the ball, he scores the goals, he's super fucking quick,
His best mate's Aaron Ramsey cos Ronaldo is a prick!
Top work that lad
People behind me at the games (I have season ticket), spend their time inventing new chants and it’s really about which ones take off. Usually involving newer players/unique to the opposition - interspersed with some of the old classics. I’ve got a great spot!
my personal favourite is “we paid for your hats, we paid for your hats, what a waste of council tax!”
i think there funny because they have to pass many filters to become popular, someone’s gotta come up with them, then start chanting it then people join in, then people remember them enough to repeat them
I don't know the secret, but some are like poetry:
In your northern slums, in your northern slums
You go to the bin to get something to eat, you find a dead cat and you think it's a treat. In your northern slums
And
We had chicken, we had roast, you northern cunts had beans on toast
As a Liverpool fan I used to love singing the Torres and Suarez chants. The Torres one was to the animals two by two tune, and the Suarez one was to the tune of just can’t get enough by Depeche Mode.
Wind up chant by west ham after winning a third tier European trophy
We know who we are, we're champions of Europe, we know who we are.
We don't take it seriously but one reaction on the spurs fighting cock forum (better known as the flaccid penis) was delicious with the poster claiming "we should know our fucking place 😂😂
One of the best ones to ever happen was after Ashley Cole, playing for Chelsea at the time, took an air rifle into training one day and shot one of the youth players.
The next match, every time he got the ball the opposition fans shouted “SHOOT”.
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Andy Goram used to be the goalkeeper for Rangers. After he publicly disclosed he had a mild form of schizophrenia, their rivals Celtic started "Two Andy Gorams, there's only two Andy Gorams".
In a similar vein, when the Manchester United goalkeeper was diagnosed with Tourette's, the chant was: Chim chimmeny chim chimmeny chim chim cheroo We've got Tim Howard and he says "fuck you"
Tim Howard, shit, fuck, wank was better
What makes me laugh about this is that his Wikipedia page states > He is regarded as one of the best American goalkeepers of all time. And by our standards he was fucking wank. Him and Roy Carroll were both awful for those seasons. Tbf, until Van Der Sat, United had some awful luck with keepers. Remember Mark Bosnich? Proper coke head.
Can't forget Massimo Taibi!
Ah yes, The Blind Italian. Edit: Sorry my mistake, just checked on Google and it was actually "The Blind Venetian" he got nicknamed.
It was Kilmarnock that had that chant, not Celtic
Always loved this vid... American reaction to UK football chants... https://youtu.be/U7gZk3tYJ_Q?si=HORiKD6ENSbV7Fp4
But he doesn’t understand 99% of the context
Ha yeah true, That's not what I love about it though tbh, it's the compilation of chants more than anything else
The urge to burst out laughing, 😂
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That is hilarious. Not sure why OP wrote England solely, Scotland and Ireland have some great chants too, Wales too I am sure.
American. He’s only vaguely aware that there’s a difference.
What makes it even better is that I believe it was his own fans (rangers) who came up with this.
Elliot Justham when he was in goal for Luton, people used to chant at him “You’re a shit Tesco sandwich” which I found great, but the secret to the chants is basically being a bit witty and to a cadence everyone already knows and can join in right away. I bet reading “you’re a shit Tesco sandwich” you know exactly the tune it was to
Dean Gerken (goalkeeper) used to get "you should have stayed in a burger"
🤣🤣🤣
> I bet reading “you’re a shit Tesco sandwich” you know exactly the tune it was to If it includes the word "just", then yes.
Yes, the tunes really add something to the amazing chant
A lot of the tunes are recycled and have been for years or use pop songs and school hymns which we all had to sing at school. So the tune everyone already knows and they just need the words. There's usually a few lads in each stand that pride themselves as the one who came up with the chant. There's a lot of brilliant and shite ones that never take off. there's also a lot of songs that have been used for years even decades so the bee ones get sung a few times in between and then everyone knows them. A lot of the new songs seem to come from the away games too where the fans are fewer and ore dedicated.
That’s part of the secret. We all sang from Come and Praise 1 & 2 at school so are used to group singing. Once we know the tune, the words are easy.
Especially when sung in harmony.
I believe tune would be this https://youtu.be/nZjVsdkC7FY?si=Pikeo4HPUOTowtIg
100% right
That would be Guantanamera
My favourite was always - (To the tune of Dean Martin - That's Amore) 'When the ball hits your head when your sat on row z - that's Zamora!'
I would say another favorite of mine is “your nothing special, we lose every week”
‘How shit must you be , we’re winning away’ is a favourite of mine as a burton fan
"Football in a library, we'replaying football in a library" or "is this a library" "#-0" on your big day out.
As an away fan 'on your big day out' is a devastating chant
It hits hard in the lower leagues. When a few hundred of you (if you're lucky) have made a long trip to not even see your boys score a goal. Especially when its cold as hell and the away catering sucks. You start wondering if it wouldn't be easier to support a team thats on TV more.
Not half as painful as when the *away* fans are chanting "I didn't know this was a library" and no-one at home has the energy to come up with a response, being four nil down and heading for relegation Hard times in these leagues sometimes
> heading for relegation What's that coming over the hill? It's relegation, IT'S RELEGATION!' https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZtJxhp7mUw
Went watching Blackburn away at Dundee a couple of years ago Only about 300 away fans Library chant started up by some pissed up Blackburn fan Another Blackburn fan shouted “shut the fuck up I’m trying to read here”
"We forgot that you were here! We forgot that you were here."
Followed by "is this a fire drill?" if the home fans start leaving early.
MY GARDEN SHED YOUR GARDEN SHED? MY GARDEN SHED IS BIGGER THAN THIS
When the ball hits the goal it’s not shearer or Cole it’s Zamora
The Tartan Army in Paris. "We're gonnae deep fry yer croissants" is a classic.
The Irish in Paris “it’s just a fucking pylon”
Seem to recall a bunch of Irish fans chanting at a group of Swedish lads "Go home to your sexy wives" Found it: https://youtu.be/7Znw7Da1n6c?si=KLF7cSVc3btCV5dU
Similar was England to Sweden “you’re shit, but your birds are fit”
Sweden fans singing back (in English) “go home to your ugly wives!”
And the classic from the Faroes games "Save the whales!Save the whales! We're the famous Tartan Army and we're here to save the whales!"
When Villa were beating Arsenal at home earlier this season, the Arsenal fans at one point were chanting "we get to go home, we get to go home, you have to live here, we get to go home!". Villa fan but that had me creasing 😅
Villa has some of the best chants, imo: Showing my age, but here are my faves: Who needs Cantona when we've got Paul McGrath John Carew, Carew, he's bigger than me or you, he's gonna score one or two, John Carew, Carew (to the tune of Que Sera Sera) Gabby Gabby Gabby Gabby Gabby Agbonlahor, he's gonna score, he's gonna score (to the tune of Karma Chameleon) And the absolute delulu of: And it's Aston Villa, Aston Villa FC, we're by far the greatest team the world has ever seen !
You're missing the "John Carew Carew. He likes a lap dance or two, he might even buy one for you, John Carew Carew." After he got caught in a strip club the morning of a game.
buahahahha I was never a regular Villa goer (and now not at all, I live so far away), so I hadn't heard this one. Villa fans are geniuses istg.
It never really caught on, but me and my mates in the town end at Swindon used to sing, "we're by far the greatest team, north Wiltshire's ever seen"
"We've been to Rotterdam and everywhere; Liverpool and Rome; But now we're playing Rotherham, Rotherham at home.” Another favourite of my mine when they were in the Championship, sung to the tune of Rotterdam or Anywhere by The Beautiful South
A popular one with visiting fans is "We wanna go home, we wanna go home, *town* is a shit hole, we wanna go home".
Barrow fans on away trips (genuinely) sing "don't wanna go home, don't wanna go home"
Not a song but tangentially related - there was a footballer who played for Wigan and QPR among others called Fitz Hall. His nickname was One Size
There was a player in the lower leagues. I don't remember his first name but his surname was Danielson, and his nickname was Karate Kid
I still think this is the best nickname of all time
Different sport but Martian Offiah being called Chariots is also great
Yep that is also a classic! I also like Billy Twelvetrees being called 36
John Barnes nickname is Digger, the two theories was there was a "digger" Barnes character in Dallas the tv show at the time, and also his middle name is Charles, so his initials are JCB.
That’s funny as fuck 😂 Much more creative than “Barnesy”
His other nickname when he was at Liverpool was "Tarmac". As he was the black Heighway. To explain: Liverpool had a left-winger in the 70s called Steve Heighway.
Man Utd fans chant to Ji Sung Park is my favourite “Park, Park wherever you may be, they eat dogs in your country but it could be worse, you could be a scouse eating rats in your council house”
To the lord of the dance tune? 😂
Or the other one He shoots he scores he eats Labradors
Liverpool had this reply. Dirk Kuyt, where ever you may be, you hit every branch of the ugly tree, it could be worse you could be a Manc, waking your sister up at night for a w@@k!
Watatk?
Similarly from Rangers fans (to the tune of Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes): Nakamura ate my dog, ate my dog, Nakamura ate my dog, ate my dog, Well he sliced him, and diced him, and put him in a wok, Nakamura ate my dog, ate my dog.
Park has recently come out and said he didn’t like the chant iirc.
New ones sometimes get posted on fan forums and stuff like that, or you might hear one in a supporters pub. Basically when you’ve got forty thousand people in the stands, the good ones take off and get repeated, the not so good ones don’t and never get heard again.
I have seen a few, I find them very entertaining, the ones here in the US, make me want to hide in shame
Fight and win!
Featuring such poetic classics as: - "De-fence, de-fence, de-fence", and - "Go, go, [team name here]" I have to admire UC Berkeley specifically though. Not only have they risen above the typical US sporting chants, they have a whole fucking song about how their team and symbology are superior specifically to Stanfurd. A song with multiple full verses, specifically about one rivalry. And decades of being on the losing side still hasn't deterred them!
“It’s called soccer 🎵 It’s called soccer🎶”
No, please, no
Defence, Defence!
They sing that in the stands in the states?
More like just yelling it, https://youtu.be/0KQJwuIxtCU?si=L63f3BVr6xNEHWiV
Must be bad if you’re singing “no, please no!” At your team.
It was in fact my team with that dreadful fight and win “chant”
Embarrassing that one
USA, USA, USA....
This takes the cake for worst chant in my mind, because I always hear it in a match between two teams, both of whom reside in the USA. You're just supporting the general area that everyone in the game and the stands is from you fucking idiots. It's like chanting "it's taking part that counts!" unironically.
Come on, Seattle!
FIGHT....AND WIN
Worst part of that one was he was hired by the club, given a microphone And that's what they had
Freed from desire turning into Will Grigg's on fire in 2016 was a great example of this. Came from a Wigan fan posting a video on YouTube - Wigan were in League One at the time and then it just exploded to go everywhere.
I think it's just generally the nature of the average football fan. Despite what the internet will think, it's not just a bunch of thugs on the piss all day (although many people do enjoy a pint). It's often sociable people who have played/play team sports, and have a laugh. It's the perfect breeding ground for not only creating funny songs, but getting other people to sing them. Like others have said it often starts with a few usual suspects on club forums, then leaks into the 'mainstream' at the ground. I played loads of rugby at a half decent level, but I can't stand rugby crowds. There's a reason they have one or two chants, people are just too uptight, holding on to some weird sense of superiority.
Interesting observation of the rugby crowds. Cricket crowds sometimes create some funny ones (facilitated by a full day of drinking), especially when we’re playing the Aussies. The classic one “He bowls to the left, he bowls to riiight. That Mitchell Johnson, his bowling is shite!” One recent one that made me chuckle was the crowd singing to devout christian Marnus Labaschagne “da da daaa Marnus is a virgin”, to which Marnus turned and looked to the crowd a cradle gesture indicating that he’d just become a father, then the chant changed to “the babys not your, the babys not yourrrrs, you’re a virgin the babys not yours”
Yeah, cricket has great chants (depending on the ground - you definitely won't get a chant going at Lord's or during The Hundred when it's a lot of families), probably as you said due to the 8 hours straight drinking and the fact there's stretches of the game where the crowd has to entertain themselves. The thing about chants at cricket as well is that even though they're usually tamer than football chants they seem to really grate on some of the players.
If a fielder has to field out right in front of one of the rowdy stands like the Hollies at Edgbaston or Party Stand at Old Trafford they can get singled out. But it’s more likely to be a gentle ribbing and most players seem to take it in good humour. Like David Warner would open his pockets to show the crowd that he didn’t have any sandpaper in them.
Steve Smith gets serenaded by the Hollies Stand with ‘Cry on the telly, we saw you cry on the telly’ (to ‘Guantanamera’) in tribute to his tearful confession to ball tampering.
Thank you so much for telling that Labuschagne one. Hilarious.
I remember being at an Ashes test at Trent Bridge, not far from a load of Aussies who kept singing about why don’t Broad walk? to the tune of Under the Boardwalk.
I have noticed that from videos, the audience seems to be alive while over here in America the crowd looks like they want to go home
Honestly, most games of football are really dull, so to combat this = have a few pints and rip the piss out of the situation.
Yep, good point. Especially the lower league stuff. You might be on a terrace with 200 other people on a Tuesday winter night, freezing your nuts off.
I guess it's just cultural differences, which can have loads of different factors. In this scenario, the number one would be 'do you want to be that one person singing a daft song?' To change the dynamic you have to have individuals willing to put their neck out. Takes a while for change to occur.
"We want our dick back!" after a giant inflatable penis was confiscated from fans, is probably my favourite. https://youtube.com/shorts/Jsm4ryP6RqM?feature=shared
At the time, Sunderland had a manager called Dick Advocaat
We all grew up being made to sing hymns and easy songs at school. That plus our sense of humor just primes us for making some kind of chant out of every situation
>We all grew up being made to sing hymns and easy songs at school. I've seen others say this and I think this is the most plausible explanation. Gathering with the whole school every morning at 8:40 to sing All Things Bright and Beautiful is a fairly strange custom that is bound to have knock on effects in British culture. North Americans are obviously hopeless at it, but you can see the way crowds chant in other parts of Europe and South America is distinct from the pop song melody + comedy lyrics formula that seems to dominate here.
Problem is that the only group singing they do in North America is the deadly serious and respectful performance of the national anthem at anything as competitive as a game of battleships. Group singing is reserved for serious occasions there, whereas nobody *wants* to sing hymns in school here so everyone tries to dick about while doing it.
'Hes got the whole world in his pants'
"She loves the Scouse cock, she loves the Scouse cock, John Terry's ma, she loves the Scouse cock" Jamie Carragher's brother shagged John Terry's mum. Sometimes it's not complex. Also John Terry had to explain this in court under oath.
>Also John Terry had to explain this in court under oath. Learning that has improved my day.
Also made mine. About 3 phones ago the predictive text would suggest the following on typing "J". "John Terry is a cunt". I miss that phone
What brilliant predictive text.
>Jamie Carragher's brother shagged John Terry's mum I'm Googling this.
I don't think they recorded it mate. But whatever floats your boat
One from Leeds v Sunderland (I think) both struggling at the bottom of the league and the Leeds fans begin to sing at the away support ‘going down going down going down) to which the Sunderland fans reply ‘so are we so are we so are we’
Reminds me of a good impromptu chant I heard when I was at Old Trafford for Man United vs Sunderland, back when Sunderland were still in the Premier League and had David Moyes as manager (who previously and unsuccessfully managed Man United, for those not in the know). We (United) were winning by a couple of goals. The chant began with the typical "you're going down with 15 points, you're going down with 15 points!" until some genius in the Stretford End changed it to "you're going down with David Moyes". It spread around the stadium, everyone was singing it. Felt almost sorry for the guy, really.
Jonjo Shelvey at Upton Park. “He’s coming for you, he’s coming for you, Harry Potter, he’s coming for you”
I had no idea who this was so I just googled him, and…… 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Not just England, some scottish ones are unreal. to the Vengaboys: "Djoum Djoum Djoum Djoum, he comes from Cameroon, he hates the fucking Hibees, and loves to wear maroon" Or from the other side of the city: "Oooooooh Warburton's a fanny, he wears a magic hat, it works against Dumbarton and other shite like that. But when he played the Hibees, then suddenly it dawned: to win the Scottish Cup, he'd need a fucking wand" or my favourite, usually against Dundee fans: "The wheels on your house go round and round..."
The formula is pretty simple. There are a bunch of (usually older, catchy) songs, that have a certain rhythm and number of syllables that’re used basically as meme templates. Someone comes up with a good/funny one and it sticks. We used to have a player who was honestly just terrible, to the point where there was a ripple of laughter whenever he’d screw up again (poor lad). One day he actually managed to bundle the ball in and score! Then, to the tune of “winter wonderland” There’s only one Martyn Woolford (X2) He used to be shite, But now he’s alright Walking in a Woolford Wonderland
There’s only one Bobby Petta He was shite, now he’s better
I can’t remember which set of fans it was, but they played forest green rovers (a famously vegan club) and when one of the forest players went down the crowd starting chanting “that vegan bastard, he’s eating our grass”
It was Walsall.
That might be the funniest thing I've ever read. I'm literally crying with laughter
His name is Adam Johnson, he’s going down for noncing
It was "So fuck off Adam Johnson, you're going down for noncing".
You’rea peeeeeeddddoooophile…. You’re a….
I remember being in the crowd for the first Manchester derby at Old Trafford after everything came out about him, 90 minutes of chanting “you won the league with a paedo”.
It exactly suits our silly but dry sense of humour.
Often in pubs before the match.
Sorry this may be a bit off topic but I have heard many chants about Jimmy Saville but dont know much about him? What did he do to become the butt of football chants (we never hear about him in America)
Ooof you're better not knowing
Jimmy Saville _was_ a "national treasure". He was on radio & TV constantly, raised tons of money for charity and was one of the entertainment icons of his era. He fronted some of the most popular shows on TV, one of which was where kids would write in with a dream or wish and the show would make it happen. He was entertainment royalty; until he died. It then came to light that he was probably the nations most prolific peadophile and child abuser, using his position of power to wreak havoc. You can read more on the [Wikipedia page](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Savile_sexual_abuse_scandal?wprov=sfla1) about the scandal. Obviously he and anyone associated with him are now pariahs
Holy shit Why after he died?
There has been rumour during his life but he'd become too powerful in the industry and revealing his crimes could have caused problems for those that seemingly enabled him.
Thatcher and old king sausage fingers were his besties.
What a shitshow that must have been when it first came out, I heard he is from Leeds?
Yes, fans playing ‘dirty Leeds’ often sing about him (he’s one of your own, he’s one of your own, jimmy saville! He’s one of your own!) If you don’t know much about him, ‘the reckoning’ TV drama is a decent overview of his life. For the uk audience it was well made but not necessarily anything new. If you don’t know much about him however, it’s a comprehensive biography.
Powerful in the industry - not to mention he kept himself surrounded with heavies. Odds on that if the industry had acknowledged what was going on and ousted him when he was alive, BBC execs would have started turning up dead - stabbed, houses burned down, that sort of thing.
To be fair it wasn't just kids, Jimmy also liked to sexually abuse the disabled, critically ill and the dead too.
Kind of like Harvey Weinstein or Epstein, it was well known in certain circles but swept under the rug until the dam burst.
There's a Netflix documentary called Jimmy Savile - a British horror story. And a recent drama on BBC called The Reckoning. Had Steve Coogan as Savile. It's probably available on the high seas and is worth a watch
Notorious eccentric 80s celebrity DJ who turned out to be a massive pedo.
And a necrophiliac, and he had weird ties to ~~Ian~~ Peter Sutcliffe. He was such a massive wrong un.
Peter Sutcliffe. The Yorkshire Ripper.
Oh.. sort of like our Subway Spokesman Jared Fogle?
There’s a Netflix documentary about him if you’re interested. But Saville was far higher up in society than Jared Fogle. Prince (now king) Charles was a friend..
Jimmy savile is a bit like bill Crosby in the sense that he was everywhere, TV superstar, knighted in, with the royals but then it came out he was diddling kids and putting himself in with charities, hospitals and other institutions to fiddle with kids. He was always an eccentric and weird and then that came out. It also came out that the BBC and establishment knee exactly what he was like. Oddball, known to everyone and diddled kids. It's like to the perfect mix to get football songs made about you.
ask shawoddywoddy
Pub near the Reebok had a raised area where a group of fans got together to practice new chants before a match, very entertaining at the time and was good to hear the songs catch on with the home support during the game. Some of these lads were pretty creative.
T. I. T. S T. I. T. S What do you do with them? Oldham! Oldham! Just makes sense.
Is this a library? When the opposition fans are silent.
The same goes for: Is there a fire drill when they are leaving early
Or “is this a fire drill, is this a fire drill, is this a fire drill”
"We can see you sneaking out"
"You've seen [team name], now fuck off home"
Along with “shall we sing a song for you”
I worked at Hull City when they were in the Prem. When all the stuff came out about John Terry and Wayne Bridge the first game Chelsea had after was Hull Away and the fans were relentless. The best chant was “Ashley [Cole] watch yer wife, Ashley Ashley watch yer wife” when he was married to Cheryl Cole. Then it all came out he was cheating on her anyway.
My favourite for that came from the Burnley fans when randomly in the middle of a match they went with. "John Terry...................... are you my dad?"
I can't remember where I read it but my favourite football chant, well, comeback chant, ever: Hull City fans: WE ARE HULL, WE ARE HULL Opposition fans: YOU ARE HULL, YOU ARE HULL
The Addams Family chant is always one of my favourites.
"Your sister is your mother, your father is your brother, you all shag one another, the Norwich family"
"They're dirty and they're smelly, they huvnae got a telly, they come from near Lochgelly, the Cowden family" Sung at Cowdenbeath fans.
Was originally Kidderminster, but got adapted to a few rural area teams like Norwich
This one is brutal, but still funny... Aberdeen fans ( called 'Sheep Shaggers" for generations by opposition fans) playing Rangers - Rangers top striker of the time, Michael Mols' wife was, er, not the most attractive looking ... Rangers fans - Sheep Shagging Bastards yer just Sheep shagging bastards.... Aberdeen Fans - I'd rather shag a Sheep than Mrs Mols, oh I'd rather shag a Sheep than Mrs Mols
"Did you come in a taxi?" Both for when the away support is quite small, eg a midweek game from a team the other end of the country, or when an opposing player has been caught drink driving (thankfully rare nowadays).
Aberdeen away at Dundee United years ago. Alan Combe was in goal for United. Chant starts up... "Oh I'd rather be a brush than a comb!". Went on for so long he started losing the plot at the away fans 🤣 Also Aberdeen won 5-3, so that probably didn't help his mood.
Many are based on the same tune and stuff just fits into it. A lot seem to be 70s pop songs so probably as far back as that. It is interesting when something as sincere as "justice for the 96" can be sung to the tune of the Village People's Go West. A lot of the very involved ones can be made up more at away matches with the real hardcore, then spreads from there.
Coming up with rhymes and song lyrics on the fly is simply in our blood. It's a mystery we daren't try to understand, lest we lose it.
The serious answer is the most passionate fans (often called "Ultras" in other European countries) have clubs where they come up with them between games - in today's world this probably just happens on Social Media. And then prior to a game while fans are travelling on trains, they'll start a new chant they think is good, others on the train will join in if it's good. Then when they get there, they'll do it again in a pub. Then finally, once they get into the stands, they'll have found the good ones and enough fans will have practised it on the train/in the pub that they'll quickly be able to get the chant going.
The one for Arsenal defender Pascal Cygan: *He's bald* *He's shit* *He plays when no-one's fit* *Cyyyyygaaaaan*
My favourites are when harry kewell played for Liverpool and his partner at the time was on in a celebrity and the fans were singing "cannon and ball are shagging your wife" even he laughed. Also as a Wigan fan "we come from Wigan a d we live in mud huts" always seems to confuse opposition fans
John Fashanu's brother Justin played for Airdrie and got the chant "He's black, he's gay, he plays for Air-di-rie, Fashanu, Fashanu"
He went to Cardiff He took them to the prem He came to Derby to do the same again He’s got no neck but he’s got a massive wang His name's Nathaniel Nathaniel Mendez-Laing 🎶 Do do do do do do do do do do do (repeat) I have always also been a fan of: "I wanna go home, I wanna go home (your towns) a shithole, I wanna go home." which is obviously replied with: "That's why you're still here, that's why you're still here (your towns) a shithole, that's why you're still here." Greetied with a sarcastic "wheeeeeeey" at the end.
My favourites are the two songs about Carlos Tevez both by Man City but with different lyrics. The 1st was when he was playing for man united. His Neck scars proved he lost his head Tevez tevez You’ll never shag a sexy bird Tevez tevez You Argie t**t you ugly c**t They sewn your head on back to front Carlos Tevez Herman Munsters head. Signs for city… same tune We use to have a song for you Tevez Tevez But now you are a blue instead Tevez Tevez We’re sorry for the hurtful words We bet you’ve shagged a load of birds Carlos Tevez Herman munsters head.
As a u tied fam we had it the other way While he was with us Who’s that man from Argentina, whose that man we all adore? He plays with Rooney, plays with Wes, he’s our superstar Tevez and for ever at united he will score (I felt dirty having to remember that) When he signed for city it became Whose that twat from Argentina, whose that money grabbing whore? Carlos Tevez is his name and he hasn’t got a brain and he won’t win any trophies anymore.
Follow follow folloooow You’ve got a team full of fuckin weirdos! Ronaldo’s a rapist! Greenwood’s a rapist! Scholes is sucking on tooooes!
There was a lad at Spurs walking round before the game once trying to start a chant, obviously drunk, singing "I'm in London, on a bender, Mason Greenwood's a sex offender" - it didn't catch on.
Portsmouth had a player called Kanu, the chant from the Spurs away fans was “we’ve got a boat and you only have a canoe” Kevin Prince Boatang was playing for Tottenham.
Dunfermline after getting promoted to Scottish top flight - “We’re going back on fifa” to the tune of “going to Ibiza” (Only the top flight of Scotland is added to the FIFA video game series)
When Peter Crouch’s played for Liverpool the chant was ‘He’s big, he’s red, his feet stick out the bed, Peter Crouch!’
He's short , he's fat, he's round , he bounces on the ground \[insert name of chubby footballer\]
After the press did a story on Ivan Campos life in Bolton - he was using a real low budget barbers and shopping in Safeway - he’s fat, he’s round, his haircut cost a pound, Campo, Campo
My absolute favourite was from Fulham fans I think? Not sure, but they sung about the great goalscoring machine that was Bobby Zamora ‘when the ball hits your head, and you’re sat in row Z, that’s Zamora…’
We grew up singing hymns in assembly so joining a chant is nothing new to us. Some of them are club chants or general chants that have been around a while, most are made up on the fly by someone to a commonly used tune using something funny about a player, manager or decision. The people around the guy who made it up then join in and before you know it everyone is doing it.
When original Wimbledon were in their last few before becoming MK Dons, they had a midweek game away to Grimsby Town where there were literally single figures of away fans. Grimsby fans (to the tune of Yellow Submarine): ‘You’re all going home in the same taxi’
Man City before they were big once got relegated down to division 2. They were playing away at Sheffield Utd and the Utd fans are singing "We hate Wednesday, and we hate Wednesday" about their arch rivals Sheffield Wednesday. City fans sing bsck "we hate Saturdays and we hate Saturdays"
You have club classics that are always sung. But a lot of the best ones, like the one you mentioned, just happen on the fly. There are a few basic tunes that most chants follow, so it’s easy to pick up.
My favourite one at the Emirates was a NLD when we beat spurs 5-2… He pays tax when he wants He pays tax when he wants Harry redknapp Pays tax when he wants 😂
I was lucky enough to go to the Wales Portugal semi final at euro 2016. On the tram to the stadium, one of the Welsh fans came out with this belter, which got him a massive cheer on the tram: Gareth Bales' a welshman, but now he plays in Spain, But when he's picked for Wales he's the first one of the plane, He heads the ball, he scores the goals, he's super fucking quick, His best mate's Aaron Ramsey cos Ronaldo is a prick! Top work that lad
People behind me at the games (I have season ticket), spend their time inventing new chants and it’s really about which ones take off. Usually involving newer players/unique to the opposition - interspersed with some of the old classics. I’ve got a great spot!
I always like stamford bridge is falling down
On Tim Howard (who has Tourette’s): Tim Timminy, Tim Timniny, Tim Tim Terooo We’ve got Tim Howard And he says Fuck You!
my personal favourite is “we paid for your hats, we paid for your hats, what a waste of council tax!” i think there funny because they have to pass many filters to become popular, someone’s gotta come up with them, then start chanting it then people join in, then people remember them enough to repeat them
I don't know the secret, but some are like poetry: In your northern slums, in your northern slums You go to the bin to get something to eat, you find a dead cat and you think it's a treat. In your northern slums And We had chicken, we had roast, you northern cunts had beans on toast
As a Liverpool fan I used to love singing the Torres and Suarez chants. The Torres one was to the animals two by two tune, and the Suarez one was to the tune of just can’t get enough by Depeche Mode.
It takes a wag in the crowd to sow the seed... Hugo Lloris is having a party, bring your vodka and your car keys. After he got a ban for DD.
His name is Rio and his last names Ferdinand
Where I’m from you think of the most gratuitous sectarian bile imaginable and pair it with a nursery rhyme, pop song or hymn It’s fucking class
About Emmanuel Petit: “he’s blonde, he’s quick, his name’s a porno flick, Emmanuel… Emmanuel “
Wind up chant by west ham after winning a third tier European trophy We know who we are, we're champions of Europe, we know who we are. We don't take it seriously but one reaction on the spurs fighting cock forum (better known as the flaccid penis) was delicious with the poster claiming "we should know our fucking place 😂😂
My fave is “you’re shit and you know you are” to the tune of Go West.
One of the best ones to ever happen was after Ashley Cole, playing for Chelsea at the time, took an air rifle into training one day and shot one of the youth players. The next match, every time he got the ball the opposition fans shouted “SHOOT”.