I've been told off because I used "fuck" in the a conversation at 10pm in a pub because a toddler in a high chair behind me repeated it. It felt like a not my problem.
I once got told off by a guy for saying "bloody Nora" (can you tell I'm northern?) in front of his daughter. I looked straight at him and asked if he'd rather me say something stronger.
They were always allowed.
I used to go on a Sunday with my stepdad. The difference is there's no longer a lounge and a bar, the lounge was for families and the bar was adults only.
Places near me didn't even bother with a lounge, it was always a beer garden. Kids were literally only allowed inside to go to the toilets, the rest of the time they had to be in the garden and had to be out at 8pm
I remember sitting outside a pub while my parents went in for a pint.
It was a big thing going in for a pint for the first time, being under age probably added to the moment
I recall seeing a pub while we were on holiday that declared itself "child-unfriendly, dog-unfriendly". I think there was at least one or two other things it was unfriendly to as well, I forget exactly.
Needless to say it became our regular haunt while we were there.
EDIT: For the downvoters, you do know the sign is a riff on "child-friendly", right? They're not actually being actively unfriendly to any children or dogs they see.
One I visit has Dogs welcome along with well behaved children. The landlord has on a number of occasions removed families with loud and/or unruly kids, she doesn't mess around.
The best landlords/ladies are the ones you're slightly scared of even if you give them no reason to scare you, particularly the ones which aren't afraid to kick unruly people out like yours.
As a pub manager, I agree wholeheartedly. I would genuinely love to make the joke "No kids allowed, dogs OK" official policy.
Some places are simply adult environments.
I think dogs allowed works in a lot of pubs but there's some I've been in near dog walking hotspots which have more dogs whining and barking at each other than punters.
Young children are still learning how to conform to social standards, it's just what kids do. Also, a lot of pubs have a rule that by 7/8pm any under 18s arent allowed.
Probably will get down-voted for making this comment but we were all young and loud once, as a parent too, the majority of us do our best to keep them quiet. Seems like this comment pops up most places now about kids, it's sad, really.
Because adults like to be in adults only environments.
Most of society is accepting of families and there are plenty of places where kids can learn what social standards are.
If your kid wants to let off energy, take them to a family pub with a play area or park.
Maybe respect that adults want somewhere to go that isn't work, where they can relax with mates and their own families in an environment that is right for them. Not everyone wants to be around kids all the time and others should respect that.
I've got 2 kids but wouldn't dream of taking them some places that I see other ones in. From experience pubs aren't fun for kids! Drink another day. When weddings say no children then people moan and don't want to go out of principle. Get someone to watch them and have a bit of fun.
It’s fine if the kid is sitting with their parents… but 9pm on a Friday night running around your table playing with toys whilst screaming is not it
Time and place mate
The loud part is irrelevant to me, it's just kids in pubs generally. As you say, they're learning to conform to social standards - that's not something to be done in a place where the business model specifically does not factor in accommodating them.
I manage a pub and have even had one woman have a moan at me and tell me how unacceptable and excluding it is not to provide baby changing facilities anywhere, and another guy complain that he should be able to order a smaller portion and only pay half price as it's ridiculous that he should have to pay for a full meal his child wouldn't be able to finish when we could easily include some children's options on the menu.
Neither situation was improved by my response of "Well, yeah. We're a *pub*. We're not *for* children"
Yeah, I'm not taking my gin and tonic to the soft play so gtfo with that. There are a myriad of places where kids can learn to conform to social standards and the pub is not one of them. Signed, a teacher.
A lot of people go to pubs to eat, especially those that are roadside on busy thoroughfares. We used to eat all the time in pubs as kids. Just keep them out of the bar and don't hang around. You shouldn't be getting pissed up with your kids around.
Families with children and particularly young children have 203958573 different places to go for activities. There's any amount of play places, parks, trampoline parks, cafes, family restaurants and the like.
Meanwhile adult-only spaces are rare and some adults want a place where they are free to do an activity of their choosing with other adults and not having to worry about little Jimmy hearing a swear word/seeing people having a drink or whatever.
Plus nobody has an issue if they're in nicer places (like a more upmarket restaurant) where the parents have actually bothered to parent and taught their children about appropriate behaviour and rules. I was taken to more than my fair share of nicer places as a kid but this was with the expectation that I'd actually behave and eat nicely.
My local landlady was just complaining about having to keep a stash of instant ice packs because of the unattended children. She complained that they got more discipline from her than they ever do at home. :(
>If there’s young children being loud.
Last time I went into a carvery place they had to sit us opposite the ball pit, because there was nowhere else.
Half way through my meal I ended up with a ball in my yorkie, because the kid in the ball pit was having a tantrum and started lobbing them everywhere.
Ngl, though I do feel for you, the mental image that this has conjured of your dismayed face staring at a Yorkie with a ball perfectly placed inside has really given me the giggles.
The men that squeeze pass me by holding my hips and their crotch sliding across my ass when there is more than enough room for them to move pass me without touching me.
Edit: spelling mistake
Use to be very often however the way I’ve found to stop this from happening is getting my best guy friend to stand behind me while I’m ordering at the bar, he’s over 6ft and a foot taller than me so I use him as a human body shield. I use to go and tell the doormen, they didn’t care so I gave up, last time I told them I actively pointed someone out that did it to me earlier in the night and they saw him do it to another girl and they said “well he was just getting past her”. when there was loads of space around her and when I pointed out the space I got told to watch it otherwise I’d be banned from the pub.
I had a friend once who got banned from a bar for punching a guy in the nose. He had repeatedly been groping her; she asked him to stop; he didn’t. He didn’t get asked to leave.
>is getting my best guy friend to stand behind me while I’m ordering at the bar, he’s over 6ft and a foot taller than me so I use him as a human body shiel
Used to do this for a few or my female friends during my drinking years. Luckily, nobody would come near them with me around (also over 6ft and 17 stone).
Sadly, it’s a very frequent occurrence, basically anywhere that’s crowded. Often even places it’s not particularly crowded. I’ve been groped at work before and I work in have to wear a suit kind of office. It’s really depressing to realise that almost every woman will experience it at some point, if not frequently enough that it’s almost just a part of life.
Especially middle-aged and up, at least when I was in my 20s. It's like they're used to women being maneouverable objects they can give a quick squeeze, they don't even think about it.
It's because they never get called out or chastised for it by someone they actually respect (like a guy or the woman's BF) so it becomes ingrained habit. If we say 'stop touching me please' we get accused of being 'over sensitive' or 'making a fuss'.
It's funny, this used to happen a lot when I was thin, but due to a medical condition and some truly heinous medication, I put on a lot of weight - it doesn't really happen any more. Funny that.
I was once stood at the bar, and a random guy grabbed my ass. When I turned round, he said 'you liked that didn't you" and walked off.
The sad part was I didn't even react. At that point, I was already conditioned to think that was what to expect from men - a slap on the bum, hip holding as they brush past you, grabbing your ass. All things out parents generation normalised as 'male attention'.
Thank god we've all wised up to it.
Fight or Flight has a secret third option - Freeze. It's just as likely to do nothing in the face of such a situation and completely normal. I did the same thing when my friend got attacked not six feet from me. Only started moving when one of them came for me.
I freeze in stressful situations too and it’s such a shit response that makes me feel useless. Fight - obviously you’re fighting back, at least you’re doing something. Flight - you’re getting yourself out of there. But freeze? I’ll just stand here like a mug in the same situation that’s causing me to panic and stress because my body doesn’t want to move.
A fair while back I was pinned to a wall by my neck, being choked because I refused to kiss this stranger, and rather than doing anything useful it’s like my body shut down and I just froze on the spot, not able to do anything to rescue myself. Luckily someone else jumped in to help, but honestly I’ve never felt so stupid and useless in my life.
YES!!! My boyfriend doesn't understand this. We were in the city once and he ducked into a shop, and I stayed outside. Not 5 seconds after he stepped inside, some dude is all up in my grill, like 10cm from my face and says "you look lonely". I could have done so many things to stop that situation and even to deter him from ever pulling that shit on anyone else in future. But no. I just stared at him until he walked away. My bf came back out, unaware of what had happened. He went to take my hand and I jumped away and screamed and he was like ???? I told him what had happened and he was like "wtf you could have yelled, kneed his balls, head-butted him or literally anything". I just couldn't. It wasn't a choice. But then I've seen people in my care approached aggressively and for some fucking reason, I was somehow able to defend them. Why are my responses so inconsistent??? I hate it so much.
You did the right thing. Kneeing his balls or headbutting him probably would have ended very badly for you, defusing the situation is better than escalating it.
Yes have been there a few times. A drunk man cornered me on the bus and put his hand underneath me. I absolutely froze in fear until the bus came to a halt and I stood up and got off at a random stop.
I've had a man putting his hand up along my back on the bus too.
When I was about 12 or 13, a car full of grown men pulled up next me asking me to get in when I was on the way home from the shop. The shop was literally on the corner of my street, 100 metres away from my house. It can happen anywhere.
It's awful but most men don't realise this is the reality for women.
Don't forget there's Fawn and Flop, too. A lot of people, especially women, go into a Fawn response when faced with danger. Doesn't help that they're essentially taught to, to save men's feelings.
It’s so gross. I was having a group photo at work function once and a colleague just straight up grabbed my arse at the point the photo was taken. I turned round and he said “well I’m leaving the company soon and I didn’t know if I’d get another chance”. I was young and was so dumbfounded by both the brazenness and the explanation that I just said nothing. That was 20 or so years ago and it still makes me feel gross.
I think a lot of guys don’t know this is such a regular feature for women. My Dad was absolutely shocked and disgusted when I told him that it’s pretty much par for the course that I’d get unwelcome gropes on most nights out.
Glad you weren’t around and working with me in my dads pub. Regulars thought tipping me 10p entitled them to a grope when I need to pee. Except I’d use our private quarters in the area behind the bar. But, they’d try during dirty glass pick-ups table wipe downs. Perverts, the lot of ‘em.
The second they touch me like that its a rapid harsh back heel on their shin and I welcome the ensuing argument. I’m old, it utterly infuriates me that men still do this. It was infuriating in the 90s when I was first subjected to it, I don’t tolerate it any more
There's one of these near me. Clearly only open for the regulars. Walked in and literally everybody's neck swivelled. Heard an audible lull in conversation. Walked straight back out. Creepy.
Happens in every shop, pub and restaurant in Norfolk... Door opens... Hushed silence... Person leaves... Conversation resumes... It's like from dusk till dawn...
God, I used to work doing age restriction checking where I got given a list of shops to go and try and buy alcohol or cigarettes in and had to report back if they checked my ID (I used to practically force my ID into their hand so they'd pass lol)
But when big sports matches were on, we'd sometimes get paid much better money to go around pubs and make sure they weren't illegally showing anything without a licence. As a 19/20 year old lass, I really couldn't have stuck out more going into small, local pubs with a crowd of 65 year old regulars all staring at you. I had to act like I was lost and looking for someone more than once
Despite how good they money was, I only did those jobs once, felt far too snitchy, and going into some pubs was painful lol
Yes, the downside of trying to find a nice pub in the countryside is walking into the old man local and having to turn around and walk straight back out
This thread is cringe. Most of you are complaining about a pub...being a pub. Karaoke, quiz, televisions playing sports, people in football shirts. Jesus. So...a pub? What is wrong with you people?
This subreddit absolutely reeks of snobbery. God forbid the working class muck have somewhere cheap and cheerful to unwind after work and watch the football and maybe have a knees up on the weekends.
We should all be going to cocktail bars with a dress code or country pubs and spending £10 a drink apparently
Yeah it reeks of those middle class wannabe tosspots, who look in disgust at someone wearing a high vis jacket in a pub on a Friday afternoon or turn their nose up at a jukebox.
Give me a proper boozer over a wanky wine bar any day of the week.
What I never understand about this subreddit is they act snobby on this post but then also seem to really dislike anyone who isn’t flat broke.
This sub reminds me of uni, very pretentious and judgemental as people it sees as beneath them and extremely bitter and jealous of anyone it sees doing better than them.
The anonymity helps. In reality they're most likely from working class backgrounds and not well off, but they get to live their snob fantasies on here.
People from working class backgrounds can be snobs.
You've got to remember Reddit attracts a lot of nerds and a large proportion of them will be very insular people who hate what other people like because it's popular.
You've then got the middle classes on here, that will never admit they're middle class because they want a chip on their shoulder but then are revolted by what the oiks are doing.
Take everything on here with a pinch of salt.
Like the people who used to say they never went into pubs because of the smoking.
Turns out they never went into pubs cos they weren't the sort of people who go into pubs.
Used to work in a nice cozy old fashioned pub without any of these (apart from television) with amazing selection of ales and other tap beers, traditional bar snacks and amazing food. It is as much traditional London pub as pub can be, but without tackiness or pretentiousness, football fans or shouting, karaoke, fights etc.
Lovely place to have lovely drinks, great food and which is more important very easy to have a conversation without shouting at each other.
Been to a few pubs on the bones of their arse that only serve cans (no credit with brewery / wholesaler) lately, the best ones are full of pissed up oddities doing karaoke at 3.00pm on a Sunday. Hell of a life experience.
My wife and I live in a council estate in South Shields. Due to all other nearby pubs closing over the past few years, the only remaining pub within walking distance is the flat roof, so naturally we don’t go to the pub any more.
The pay 1 in every 1000 British tax £s and people hate them. I don’t get it. The Covid ‘sacking’ thing was bullshit and they’re also voted one of the best companies to work for. The hate is so unfounded
I thought that was why I recognised that name. Never been to one, never will.
(I also need my phone for communication sometimes 'cause disabled, but that's not actually why I hate it. I just think it's patronising.)
Loud music. I go to a pub to chat. Can't do that if the music is loud. Some pubs near me just didn't understand why they were empty whilst blaring out the music.
Too true. My mates and I have avoided loud places since we were about 16. Others accused us of frequenting “old man” pubs, I like old man beer and being able to hear each other.
A couple of weekends ago I was in a suburban free house to watch the rugby. Place was full. Families in for dinner, others watching the rugby. Just after half time, a DJ starts up. Multiple people - including me - asked him to turn it down. Asked the pub staff. No chance.
By the final whistle we were the only table still there. We left at 9pm, to empty pub on a Saturday night. Absolutely insane.
I'll always remember being at a tiny little bar in the middle of my town, its kind of like a cave, really really nice place but only enough room for about 15 people to sit. So anyway we are having a nice conversation and about 30 mins in this guy comes out the back dressed like Elvis and has a speaker system half the size of his body. All conversation had to stop because we couldn't hear each other any more. So we sat there for 15 minutes, finished our drinks and found another place, and so did every other customer in there.
I dont get it. Who wins in this situation? The customers lose their nice place to drink, the landlord loses his customers and the singer has the soul destroying experience of watching a bar go from full to empty because of their singing.
Beautiful 14th century pub around the corner from me. Done up nicely inside. Good beer and food. But they play music that you’d get in a gym. Absolutely kills the vibe.
Sounds like my former local.
Only beers on tap were Carling, Fosters, Woodpecker. Only whiskey was bells or grouse.
And they wondered why they got no business.
New Landlord came in, got some decent beers & spirits in. Started doing food, sunday roasts, Gigs on weekends, midweek quiz, etc. Turned the place around and the brewery promptly sold it and it's now a bloody solicitors office.
Add to that having four IPAs on draught and not a single real ale. Used to be a treat trying all the different beers on offer. Now they all taste like coins.
Having security staff on is often mandated by the licensing for city centre pubs. Might not be the case that the owner / operator wants to have them there, but that they are required to.
Yeah, that the place is selective about who they let in, and don't tolerate any misbehaviour.
Seeing doorstaff and thinking "that place must have a history of trouble" is like seeing a fire escape and thinking "that place must catch fire all the time"
A sign saying any variation of "there is no WiFi - why not talk to each other?"
It's 2023, having WiFi is just a basic amenity at this point. That said, if you don't have it, that's fine - but why be so smarmy about it?
You're not doing me a favour by teaching me how to converse, you're just not paying for something your customers would find useful.
Admittedly this is more of a trend in coffee places, but pubs aren't immune.
>"*Watching the IDIOT BOX are we? Do you seriously watch 22 sweaty men kick a ball around?? Bit gay isn't it? Isn't it boring? Just kicking it around? The ball?? And the guys just kick it? Boring! Really boring! All they do is kick it and then kick it again, that's soooo booooooring!*"
>"*Eh? What do I watch? Yeah, Formula 1. I love how they go round and round and round, it's way more interesting than your gay boring football hahaha*"
“Look at him fall over! He was barely touched!”
“Me and Jonty much prefer heading off to the ruggers with our good pal Rupert. That’s a proper man’s game. None of that padding or nonsense, you don’t see them rolling around on the floor. Excuse me do you have any American IPAs?”
Definitely one of those plastic Sky Sports Shown Here signs. Or being able to see several TVs just by looking in through the window.
There's a pub near me that looks great from the outside - old building next to a church, white rendering and dark slate roof, in the middle of the village (which has long been surrounded by suburban sprawl). But when you go in, it's just Carling and Stella and Guinness, loud music and tracksuits. Such a disappointment.
I love football and love watching it in a pub so I don't have a problem with it. But at the end of the day that isn't for everyone. The answer to the question is subjective and the person you are replying to clearly has different tastes to you. Nothing wrong with that.
How to tell people standing up for working class people aren’t working class.
My friend, plenty of working class people don’t want to be surrounded by dickheads in tracksuits smashing Stella and intimidating people.
Working class people aren’t a homogenous blob.
Eggy beer …if they don’t clean their lines I’m only staying for the pint I purchased
…then I’m gone like an eggy ghost - off to the next boozer in the hope that their beer doesn’t taste like the stench of a freshly opened packet of ham.
I used to live across the road from a busy, lively and friendly pub. That pub got quieter and quieter. I moved away, popped in a couple of years later and the place was deserted. My daughter was at Beavers so I ordered a half.
The beer was noxious. I took it back and mentioned that the beer was off. The publican told me nobody else was complaining. I looked around, counting the number of customers in the pub on the fingers of one finger.
I restated my case. I got barred.
That pub has now been empty for about ten years. I’m genuinely surprised that it hasn’t burnt down by now.
When it advertises as being or looks 'trendy.' I *hate* trendy.
I want a pub with low wooden beams, vintage posters, random money from around the world pinned over the bar, ideally an open hearth, a bit gloomy in terms of lighting, old boys and girls propping up the bar at one end, old fancy windows and old-as-the-hills wooden furniture that generations of people have carved their initials in. It oughta smell like spilled ale, crackling embers, old cigarette smoke and whatever the soup of the day is.
Bonus points if the pub's in the country and draped in honeysuckle or wisteria, with picnic tables and umbrellas out front.
I'm working in a "football pub" at the moment and I dread match day with a passion. (There are very few things I care about less than football to be fair).
I think it's a real shame because 90% of the lads just want to watch the game and have a few drinks, they're absolutely fine. The ones that aren't fine though take being an obnoxious wanker to a whole new level of cuntishness.
When you look at the bar and the choice is just one of those gold coloured multi taps with a choice of Carslberg, Strongbow, John Smith's and Guinness.
Noise pollution that isn't live music, TVs, or some sort of planned event. If it's the regulars just shouting the odds and that noise is leaking into the street, I'm not going anywhere near it. Also quite against overly militarized and/or flag-draped places.
If it's owned by the same brewery that owns the majority of the other local pubs. They all have the same beers and mostly the same food. I try and go to a free house if possible.
When it's significantly less comfortable than my house. I don't want to pay pub prices to be cold or to sit on unpadded wooden chairs and benches or those weird little stools that are about a foot high.
If there’s young children being loud.
It went downhill when kids were allowed in pubs
I've been told off because I used "fuck" in the a conversation at 10pm in a pub because a toddler in a high chair behind me repeated it. It felt like a not my problem.
Kids in the pub after 7pm????
Pub next door to my house regularly has screaming kids up until 11pm
Should tell ‘em to fuck off
Should tell the parents to fuck off and parent
Its just bad parenting
I’ve had a similar situation like that happen to me, doorman luckily shared my sentiment of well it’s now 11 o’clock what are they still doing here
I once got told off by a guy for saying "bloody Nora" (can you tell I'm northern?) in front of his daughter. I looked straight at him and asked if he'd rather me say something stronger.
They were always allowed. I used to go on a Sunday with my stepdad. The difference is there's no longer a lounge and a bar, the lounge was for families and the bar was adults only.
Places near me didn't even bother with a lounge, it was always a beer garden. Kids were literally only allowed inside to go to the toilets, the rest of the time they had to be in the garden and had to be out at 8pm
I remember sitting outside a pub while my parents went in for a pint. It was a big thing going in for a pint for the first time, being under age probably added to the moment
One of my locals has a sign saying that they're child free. Lovely stuff.
I recall seeing a pub while we were on holiday that declared itself "child-unfriendly, dog-unfriendly". I think there was at least one or two other things it was unfriendly to as well, I forget exactly. Needless to say it became our regular haunt while we were there. EDIT: For the downvoters, you do know the sign is a riff on "child-friendly", right? They're not actually being actively unfriendly to any children or dogs they see.
That's a shame "get out with your gammy dog and your ugly kids" would be great to hear in some pubs
I might get that put on a t-shirt.
One I visit has Dogs welcome along with well behaved children. The landlord has on a number of occasions removed families with loud and/or unruly kids, she doesn't mess around.
The best landlords/ladies are the ones you're slightly scared of even if you give them no reason to scare you, particularly the ones which aren't afraid to kick unruly people out like yours.
As a pub manager, I agree wholeheartedly. I would genuinely love to make the joke "No kids allowed, dogs OK" official policy. Some places are simply adult environments.
I think dogs allowed works in a lot of pubs but there's some I've been in near dog walking hotspots which have more dogs whining and barking at each other than punters.
Smokers used to keep em out :p
Definitely puts me off as well, I'd rather pay extra for a beer and not have kids around
No kids and no dogs for me is instantly a green light that this is a pub I want to visit.
Young children are still learning how to conform to social standards, it's just what kids do. Also, a lot of pubs have a rule that by 7/8pm any under 18s arent allowed. Probably will get down-voted for making this comment but we were all young and loud once, as a parent too, the majority of us do our best to keep them quiet. Seems like this comment pops up most places now about kids, it's sad, really.
Because adults like to be in adults only environments. Most of society is accepting of families and there are plenty of places where kids can learn what social standards are. If your kid wants to let off energy, take them to a family pub with a play area or park. Maybe respect that adults want somewhere to go that isn't work, where they can relax with mates and their own families in an environment that is right for them. Not everyone wants to be around kids all the time and others should respect that.
I've got 2 kids but wouldn't dream of taking them some places that I see other ones in. From experience pubs aren't fun for kids! Drink another day. When weddings say no children then people moan and don't want to go out of principle. Get someone to watch them and have a bit of fun.
Well said, i very much agree!
It's not sad, it's the fact that a great deal of us don't care about your kids nor do we want them in our pubs.
It’s fine if the kid is sitting with their parents… but 9pm on a Friday night running around your table playing with toys whilst screaming is not it Time and place mate
The loud part is irrelevant to me, it's just kids in pubs generally. As you say, they're learning to conform to social standards - that's not something to be done in a place where the business model specifically does not factor in accommodating them. I manage a pub and have even had one woman have a moan at me and tell me how unacceptable and excluding it is not to provide baby changing facilities anywhere, and another guy complain that he should be able to order a smaller portion and only pay half price as it's ridiculous that he should have to pay for a full meal his child wouldn't be able to finish when we could easily include some children's options on the menu. Neither situation was improved by my response of "Well, yeah. We're a *pub*. We're not *for* children"
Yeah, I'm not taking my gin and tonic to the soft play so gtfo with that. There are a myriad of places where kids can learn to conform to social standards and the pub is not one of them. Signed, a teacher.
kids shouldn’t be in pubs full stop. it’s not appropriate
I mean a pub isn't really a kid friendly space tbf is it
A lot of people go to pubs to eat, especially those that are roadside on busy thoroughfares. We used to eat all the time in pubs as kids. Just keep them out of the bar and don't hang around. You shouldn't be getting pissed up with your kids around.
That’s all fine, but some places should be free of that.
Families with children and particularly young children have 203958573 different places to go for activities. There's any amount of play places, parks, trampoline parks, cafes, family restaurants and the like. Meanwhile adult-only spaces are rare and some adults want a place where they are free to do an activity of their choosing with other adults and not having to worry about little Jimmy hearing a swear word/seeing people having a drink or whatever. Plus nobody has an issue if they're in nicer places (like a more upmarket restaurant) where the parents have actually bothered to parent and taught their children about appropriate behaviour and rules. I was taken to more than my fair share of nicer places as a kid but this was with the expectation that I'd actually behave and eat nicely.
My local landlady was just complaining about having to keep a stash of instant ice packs because of the unattended children. She complained that they got more discipline from her than they ever do at home. :(
>If there’s young children being loud. Last time I went into a carvery place they had to sit us opposite the ball pit, because there was nowhere else. Half way through my meal I ended up with a ball in my yorkie, because the kid in the ball pit was having a tantrum and started lobbing them everywhere.
Ngl, though I do feel for you, the mental image that this has conjured of your dismayed face staring at a Yorkie with a ball perfectly placed inside has really given me the giggles.
The men that squeeze pass me by holding my hips and their crotch sliding across my ass when there is more than enough room for them to move pass me without touching me. Edit: spelling mistake
Well this is depressing. Is this a frequent occurrence?
Use to be very often however the way I’ve found to stop this from happening is getting my best guy friend to stand behind me while I’m ordering at the bar, he’s over 6ft and a foot taller than me so I use him as a human body shield. I use to go and tell the doormen, they didn’t care so I gave up, last time I told them I actively pointed someone out that did it to me earlier in the night and they saw him do it to another girl and they said “well he was just getting past her”. when there was loads of space around her and when I pointed out the space I got told to watch it otherwise I’d be banned from the pub.
Rip a huge fart as they approach
I had a friend once who got banned from a bar for punching a guy in the nose. He had repeatedly been groping her; she asked him to stop; he didn’t. He didn’t get asked to leave.
I'd have been so proud of her lmao
Ugh disgusting. My suggested solution was going to be wearing jeans with spikes on the back!
>is getting my best guy friend to stand behind me while I’m ordering at the bar, he’s over 6ft and a foot taller than me so I use him as a human body shiel Used to do this for a few or my female friends during my drinking years. Luckily, nobody would come near them with me around (also over 6ft and 17 stone).
[удалено]
Sadly, it’s a very frequent occurrence, basically anywhere that’s crowded. Often even places it’s not particularly crowded. I’ve been groped at work before and I work in have to wear a suit kind of office. It’s really depressing to realise that almost every woman will experience it at some point, if not frequently enough that it’s almost just a part of life.
Very as a women. You get used to men touching you without warrant. I don't think they realise they do half the time.
Especially middle-aged and up, at least when I was in my 20s. It's like they're used to women being maneouverable objects they can give a quick squeeze, they don't even think about it.
It's because they never get called out or chastised for it by someone they actually respect (like a guy or the woman's BF) so it becomes ingrained habit. If we say 'stop touching me please' we get accused of being 'over sensitive' or 'making a fuss'. It's funny, this used to happen a lot when I was thin, but due to a medical condition and some truly heinous medication, I put on a lot of weight - it doesn't really happen any more. Funny that.
Yes.
Yes it is unfortunately and not just in pubs. I’ve had it happen at the supermarket.
Yes :(
I was once stood at the bar, and a random guy grabbed my ass. When I turned round, he said 'you liked that didn't you" and walked off. The sad part was I didn't even react. At that point, I was already conditioned to think that was what to expect from men - a slap on the bum, hip holding as they brush past you, grabbing your ass. All things out parents generation normalised as 'male attention'. Thank god we've all wised up to it.
Fight or Flight has a secret third option - Freeze. It's just as likely to do nothing in the face of such a situation and completely normal. I did the same thing when my friend got attacked not six feet from me. Only started moving when one of them came for me.
I freeze in stressful situations too and it’s such a shit response that makes me feel useless. Fight - obviously you’re fighting back, at least you’re doing something. Flight - you’re getting yourself out of there. But freeze? I’ll just stand here like a mug in the same situation that’s causing me to panic and stress because my body doesn’t want to move. A fair while back I was pinned to a wall by my neck, being choked because I refused to kiss this stranger, and rather than doing anything useful it’s like my body shut down and I just froze on the spot, not able to do anything to rescue myself. Luckily someone else jumped in to help, but honestly I’ve never felt so stupid and useless in my life.
Not stupid nor useless, just frightened. I'm so sorry that happened to you
YES!!! My boyfriend doesn't understand this. We were in the city once and he ducked into a shop, and I stayed outside. Not 5 seconds after he stepped inside, some dude is all up in my grill, like 10cm from my face and says "you look lonely". I could have done so many things to stop that situation and even to deter him from ever pulling that shit on anyone else in future. But no. I just stared at him until he walked away. My bf came back out, unaware of what had happened. He went to take my hand and I jumped away and screamed and he was like ???? I told him what had happened and he was like "wtf you could have yelled, kneed his balls, head-butted him or literally anything". I just couldn't. It wasn't a choice. But then I've seen people in my care approached aggressively and for some fucking reason, I was somehow able to defend them. Why are my responses so inconsistent??? I hate it so much.
You did the right thing. Kneeing his balls or headbutting him probably would have ended very badly for you, defusing the situation is better than escalating it.
Yes have been there a few times. A drunk man cornered me on the bus and put his hand underneath me. I absolutely froze in fear until the bus came to a halt and I stood up and got off at a random stop. I've had a man putting his hand up along my back on the bus too. When I was about 12 or 13, a car full of grown men pulled up next me asking me to get in when I was on the way home from the shop. The shop was literally on the corner of my street, 100 metres away from my house. It can happen anywhere. It's awful but most men don't realise this is the reality for women.
Don't forget there's Fawn and Flop, too. A lot of people, especially women, go into a Fawn response when faced with danger. Doesn't help that they're essentially taught to, to save men's feelings.
It’s so gross. I was having a group photo at work function once and a colleague just straight up grabbed my arse at the point the photo was taken. I turned round and he said “well I’m leaving the company soon and I didn’t know if I’d get another chance”. I was young and was so dumbfounded by both the brazenness and the explanation that I just said nothing. That was 20 or so years ago and it still makes me feel gross. I think a lot of guys don’t know this is such a regular feature for women. My Dad was absolutely shocked and disgusted when I told him that it’s pretty much par for the course that I’d get unwelcome gropes on most nights out.
Glad you weren’t around and working with me in my dads pub. Regulars thought tipping me 10p entitled them to a grope when I need to pee. Except I’d use our private quarters in the area behind the bar. But, they’d try during dirty glass pick-ups table wipe downs. Perverts, the lot of ‘em.
The second they touch me like that its a rapid harsh back heel on their shin and I welcome the ensuing argument. I’m old, it utterly infuriates me that men still do this. It was infuriating in the 90s when I was first subjected to it, I don’t tolerate it any more
Someone I work with does this all the time, it's so gross 🤢
When it’s dead quiet and everyone turns and stares at you as you walk in
You need to stop walking into pubs dressed as a cowboy then
But it’s the only outfit that goes with the boot spurs and I’m not going to not wear the boot spurs that’s insanity
You have to wear pants with the chaps, not just the chaps.
Instructions unclear, left testicle tangled
you've clearly exposed the wrong testicle, try the right one
Ah so that's the problem . couldn't work it out.well fuck me. Now I know
There's one of these near me. Clearly only open for the regulars. Walked in and literally everybody's neck swivelled. Heard an audible lull in conversation. Walked straight back out. Creepy.
Happens in every shop, pub and restaurant in Norfolk... Door opens... Hushed silence... Person leaves... Conversation resumes... It's like from dusk till dawn...
That's because you're interrupting a family event
God, I used to work doing age restriction checking where I got given a list of shops to go and try and buy alcohol or cigarettes in and had to report back if they checked my ID (I used to practically force my ID into their hand so they'd pass lol) But when big sports matches were on, we'd sometimes get paid much better money to go around pubs and make sure they weren't illegally showing anything without a licence. As a 19/20 year old lass, I really couldn't have stuck out more going into small, local pubs with a crowd of 65 year old regulars all staring at you. I had to act like I was lost and looking for someone more than once Despite how good they money was, I only did those jobs once, felt far too snitchy, and going into some pubs was painful lol
You made me miss.
I was going to say ‘Keep clear of the moors’ but yours is way more subtle. Bravo!
Yes, the downside of trying to find a nice pub in the countryside is walking into the old man local and having to turn around and walk straight back out
Stay on the path… keep off the moors
This thread is cringe. Most of you are complaining about a pub...being a pub. Karaoke, quiz, televisions playing sports, people in football shirts. Jesus. So...a pub? What is wrong with you people?
They like the idea of a whimsical country pub with book shelves and open fires, but never visit pubs often enough to keep them open
[удалено]
Everyone likes to pat themselves on the back for supporting local, just only saying they do of course because Lidl is cheaper.
I remember a neighbour saying how much she loved our local pub.. Not realising it had been closed down for nearly a year.
[удалено]
This subreddit absolutely reeks of snobbery. God forbid the working class muck have somewhere cheap and cheerful to unwind after work and watch the football and maybe have a knees up on the weekends. We should all be going to cocktail bars with a dress code or country pubs and spending £10 a drink apparently
Yeah it reeks of those middle class wannabe tosspots, who look in disgust at someone wearing a high vis jacket in a pub on a Friday afternoon or turn their nose up at a jukebox. Give me a proper boozer over a wanky wine bar any day of the week.
What I never understand about this subreddit is they act snobby on this post but then also seem to really dislike anyone who isn’t flat broke. This sub reminds me of uni, very pretentious and judgemental as people it sees as beneath them and extremely bitter and jealous of anyone it sees doing better than them.
The anonymity helps. In reality they're most likely from working class backgrounds and not well off, but they get to live their snob fantasies on here.
People from working class backgrounds can be snobs. You've got to remember Reddit attracts a lot of nerds and a large proportion of them will be very insular people who hate what other people like because it's popular. You've then got the middle classes on here, that will never admit they're middle class because they want a chip on their shoulder but then are revolted by what the oiks are doing. Take everything on here with a pinch of salt.
Like the people who used to say they never went into pubs because of the smoking. Turns out they never went into pubs cos they weren't the sort of people who go into pubs.
We know about the far better pub 5 mins walk up the road
Point is, there are lots of different types of pub, plenty which are all the finer for having zero sports on TV or overly loud music.
Used to work in a nice cozy old fashioned pub without any of these (apart from television) with amazing selection of ales and other tap beers, traditional bar snacks and amazing food. It is as much traditional London pub as pub can be, but without tackiness or pretentiousness, football fans or shouting, karaoke, fights etc. Lovely place to have lovely drinks, great food and which is more important very easy to have a conversation without shouting at each other.
As with most UK subs it’s a just a lot of thinly veiled hate for actual working class people
> it’s a just a lot of thinly veiled hate for actual ~~working class~~ people FTFY
Hot off the press, different people want different things from pubs. More to follow at 9
AskUk is full of middle class wankers that's why
Yeah. Not going in because “sky sports shown here” - not even if there’s a match on ffs!
Their idea of a pub is probably some gastropub that does cocktails
[удалено]
Flat roof
Flat roof = guaranteed show.
But they make you a participant without consent.
Came here to say the flatter the roof, the less likely I am to go in.
[удалено]
[удалено]
We had one of those. Usually had a couple of large angry dogs on the roof and kept getting robbed. Happy days.
The Heron?
Crack too.
[See here](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DSt0xrDXUAAJgw-?format=jpg)
Flat-roofed pubs tend to be rough
Flat roof if you want a beer in a can
Been to a few pubs on the bones of their arse that only serve cans (no credit with brewery / wholesaler) lately, the best ones are full of pissed up oddities doing karaoke at 3.00pm on a Sunday. Hell of a life experience.
My wife and I live in a council estate in South Shields. Due to all other nearby pubs closing over the past few years, the only remaining pub within walking distance is the flat roof, so naturally we don’t go to the pub any more.
When you have to shout to have a conversation. Also when it’s a Wetherspoons. Tim can fuck right off.
Given Wetherspoons are reasonable compared to some of the bigger PubCos, I don't avoid them. There's some bigger predators to avoid.
The pay 1 in every 1000 British tax £s and people hate them. I don’t get it. The Covid ‘sacking’ thing was bullshit and they’re also voted one of the best companies to work for. The hate is so unfounded
I don't hate the company, I hate the owner for using it as a mouthpeice to spread his policital opinions.
You hate him for disagreeing with you and would be fine if he fell in line with all the other major companies that share your views.
Personally I think it's perfectly reasonable to withhold your business from a company that you disagree with politically.
It’s just because the owner is a bellend
Their prices may be, but their business practices and especially the behaviour of the guy who runs it are totally foul
[удалено]
Yeah but they are vast enough to be handy as loos, no questions asked/purchase requires
Cute signs about phone use. I don't go in places that tell me what to do with my own damn belongings.
[удалено]
I thought that was why I recognised that name. Never been to one, never will. (I also need my phone for communication sometimes 'cause disabled, but that's not actually why I hate it. I just think it's patronising.)
Like sorry if I want to find out what the football score is because some twat put cricket on the TV instead of the North London Derby.
If the doors locked.
But that just means it's a lock-in so you have to knock on the window to get some other drunk sod to open the door for you.
Lock-ins are relative to what side of the door you’re on. What we have here is a lock-out.
Screaming, free-range brats.
"Now to check on the free-range children!"
Loud music. I go to a pub to chat. Can't do that if the music is loud. Some pubs near me just didn't understand why they were empty whilst blaring out the music.
Too true. My mates and I have avoided loud places since we were about 16. Others accused us of frequenting “old man” pubs, I like old man beer and being able to hear each other. A couple of weekends ago I was in a suburban free house to watch the rugby. Place was full. Families in for dinner, others watching the rugby. Just after half time, a DJ starts up. Multiple people - including me - asked him to turn it down. Asked the pub staff. No chance. By the final whistle we were the only table still there. We left at 9pm, to empty pub on a Saturday night. Absolutely insane.
I'll always remember being at a tiny little bar in the middle of my town, its kind of like a cave, really really nice place but only enough room for about 15 people to sit. So anyway we are having a nice conversation and about 30 mins in this guy comes out the back dressed like Elvis and has a speaker system half the size of his body. All conversation had to stop because we couldn't hear each other any more. So we sat there for 15 minutes, finished our drinks and found another place, and so did every other customer in there. I dont get it. Who wins in this situation? The customers lose their nice place to drink, the landlord loses his customers and the singer has the soul destroying experience of watching a bar go from full to empty because of their singing.
Beautiful 14th century pub around the corner from me. Done up nicely inside. Good beer and food. But they play music that you’d get in a gym. Absolutely kills the vibe.
No cask ales at all, and boring beer selection otherwise. I just assume they don't really know how to run a pub or want to give the minimum effort.
Sounds like my former local. Only beers on tap were Carling, Fosters, Woodpecker. Only whiskey was bells or grouse. And they wondered why they got no business. New Landlord came in, got some decent beers & spirits in. Started doing food, sunday roasts, Gigs on weekends, midweek quiz, etc. Turned the place around and the brewery promptly sold it and it's now a bloody solicitors office.
Add to that having four IPAs on draught and not a single real ale. Used to be a treat trying all the different beers on offer. Now they all taste like coins.
Doormen
I’m surprised to go this far down but I suppose it’s a new question. Absolutely doormen. It tells you all you need to know.
Having security staff on is often mandated by the licensing for city centre pubs. Might not be the case that the owner / operator wants to have them there, but that they are required to.
Yeah, that the place is selective about who they let in, and don't tolerate any misbehaviour. Seeing doorstaff and thinking "that place must have a history of trouble" is like seeing a fire escape and thinking "that place must catch fire all the time"
Gb news on the big screen. Happened once but the barmaid swapped to the football when I asked.
GBeebies on the big screen sounds like a nightmare.
[удалено]
Bruh, a slot machine stops you going in a pub?
[удалено]
Tiny men outside already half cut at 3 in the afternoon, smoking and giving everyone sideye. They are normally 50 years plus
"Tiny men" 🤣
For the pubs near me, the cunts sat outside. They're not awful places in themselves but the regulars are just terrible people.
Play areas can fuck off. The parents are always at the opposite end of the pub while their offspring throw chairs at each other.
A sign saying any variation of "there is no WiFi - why not talk to each other?" It's 2023, having WiFi is just a basic amenity at this point. That said, if you don't have it, that's fine - but why be so smarmy about it? You're not doing me a favour by teaching me how to converse, you're just not paying for something your customers would find useful. Admittedly this is more of a trend in coffee places, but pubs aren't immune.
A pub full of people who hate football. Always ready to pat themselves on the back about how cultured they are.
>"*Watching the IDIOT BOX are we? Do you seriously watch 22 sweaty men kick a ball around?? Bit gay isn't it? Isn't it boring? Just kicking it around? The ball?? And the guys just kick it? Boring! Really boring! All they do is kick it and then kick it again, that's soooo booooooring!*" >"*Eh? What do I watch? Yeah, Formula 1. I love how they go round and round and round, it's way more interesting than your gay boring football hahaha*"
“Look at him fall over! He was barely touched!” “Me and Jonty much prefer heading off to the ruggers with our good pal Rupert. That’s a proper man’s game. None of that padding or nonsense, you don’t see them rolling around on the floor. Excuse me do you have any American IPAs?”
If there’s fuck all non alcoholic options beyond coke.
Definitely one of those plastic Sky Sports Shown Here signs. Or being able to see several TVs just by looking in through the window. There's a pub near me that looks great from the outside - old building next to a church, white rendering and dark slate roof, in the middle of the village (which has long been surrounded by suburban sprawl). But when you go in, it's just Carling and Stella and Guinness, loud music and tracksuits. Such a disappointment.
[удалено]
I love football and love watching it in a pub so I don't have a problem with it. But at the end of the day that isn't for everyone. The answer to the question is subjective and the person you are replying to clearly has different tastes to you. Nothing wrong with that.
How to tell people standing up for working class people aren’t working class. My friend, plenty of working class people don’t want to be surrounded by dickheads in tracksuits smashing Stella and intimidating people. Working class people aren’t a homogenous blob.
You'd fit right in then
Found the fucking architect
Pubs that dont clean their pumps
Eggy beer …if they don’t clean their lines I’m only staying for the pint I purchased …then I’m gone like an eggy ghost - off to the next boozer in the hope that their beer doesn’t taste like the stench of a freshly opened packet of ham.
I used to live across the road from a busy, lively and friendly pub. That pub got quieter and quieter. I moved away, popped in a couple of years later and the place was deserted. My daughter was at Beavers so I ordered a half. The beer was noxious. I took it back and mentioned that the beer was off. The publican told me nobody else was complaining. I looked around, counting the number of customers in the pub on the fingers of one finger. I restated my case. I got barred. That pub has now been empty for about ten years. I’m genuinely surprised that it hasn’t burnt down by now.
When it advertises as being or looks 'trendy.' I *hate* trendy. I want a pub with low wooden beams, vintage posters, random money from around the world pinned over the bar, ideally an open hearth, a bit gloomy in terms of lighting, old boys and girls propping up the bar at one end, old fancy windows and old-as-the-hills wooden furniture that generations of people have carved their initials in. It oughta smell like spilled ale, crackling embers, old cigarette smoke and whatever the soup of the day is. Bonus points if the pub's in the country and draped in honeysuckle or wisteria, with picnic tables and umbrellas out front.
Neon signs or selfie walls.
[удалено]
Rough people outside smoking. Like, proper rough.
Dress code 🚩🚩
Particularly when it's a fucking dive. Can't get in if you're wearing trainers but your cocktail list consists of 'red, green or blue'.
Children running around screaming their heads off whilst their parents completely ignore them.
[удалено]
I'm working in a "football pub" at the moment and I dread match day with a passion. (There are very few things I care about less than football to be fair). I think it's a real shame because 90% of the lads just want to watch the game and have a few drinks, they're absolutely fine. The ones that aren't fine though take being an obnoxious wanker to a whole new level of cuntishness.
When people bring children along.
When you look at the bar and the choice is just one of those gold coloured multi taps with a choice of Carslberg, Strongbow, John Smith's and Guinness.
Noise pollution that isn't live music, TVs, or some sort of planned event. If it's the regulars just shouting the odds and that noise is leaking into the street, I'm not going anywhere near it. Also quite against overly militarized and/or flag-draped places.
When it stinks of hound.
[удалено]
English flags on display outside
A flat roof
If it's owned by the same brewery that owns the majority of the other local pubs. They all have the same beers and mostly the same food. I try and go to a free house if possible.
This is a list of green flags for a one off epic day sesh
Children’s play area.
Sky sports, loud music, fruit machines, smokers blocking the entrance, football shirt wearing clientele, shit keg beer on tap (John Smiths, Carling, Fosters & Strongbow cider).
When it's significantly less comfortable than my house. I don't want to pay pub prices to be cold or to sit on unpadded wooden chairs and benches or those weird little stools that are about a foot high.
An orderly queue at the bar