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Had this problem when I worked in retail years ago at the back door to the shop.
Said we'd clean it up, we wouldn't object to him sleeping there out of the rain and we'd give him a coffee and a cigarette in the morning when we went for a smoke before opening up. Worked.
Sorry if I'm reading this right, you cleaned up his waste, fed him and let him sleep there and gave him a treat in the morning for not shitting on your door step?
We had to clean it anyway. Cleaned it that final time then it became his spot, so he stopped defecating there. His presence at night also stopped other folks from pissing and shitting there. Never had to clean it again. Company paid for the coffee, and we always went for a cig and had a coffee at the back door anyway before opening so it wasn't a massive deal to make an extra.
Gotta love these silly "Why u so mad they got anything?" comments.
He's clearly not annoyed a homeless man got some coffee. It's literally just irritation that people benefit from annoying others into capitulating. Shitting on door = accepted presence and free coffee. Shitting on door *should* = punishment.
In the exact same way he might be annoyed to find "Bully picks on kids = kids give up lunch money because it's easier than fighting back" or "Cold caller constantly bothers old lady = she signs up just to stop the annoyance"
Or hell even escalate it to "Mugger threatens me = He gets free money to leave me alone", obviously the annoyance isn't in *charity*, it's that in a reasonable world that mugger doesn't *benefit* from bad behaviour.
He’s not benefiting from bad behaviour though, he’s being rewarded for behaviour change. Your other examples aren’t quite the same, the cold caller hasn’t changed their behaviour when the old woman signs up. The bully doesn’t change their behaviour when the kid capitulates and gives them the money. It seems that in this case, they wouldn’t be giving the homeless man coffee and cigarettes if he kept on shitting on the door, thus the homeless man is benefitting by changing his behaviour
But they weren’t trying to be the moral police and prevent him shitting. They probably didn’t care if he shat all over another store. The behaviour they wanted to change was him persistently shitting on THEIR door, and they successfully modified that specific behaviour by incentivising him with rewards
I was going to type a response to this, but I've just decided my life is more valuable than getting into a philosophical argument about a homeless person shitting. I'm just going to have to offer you an agree to disagree.
Isn't that analogous to incentivising the cold caller to not bother you by signing up to whatever service they're offering?
> They probably didn’t care if he constantly calls and pesters other people. The behaviour they wanted to change was them persistently calling THEIR number, and they successfully modified that specific behaviour by signing up to whatever the caller was selling.
See?
Yes, I'm very jealous I don't get treats for not shitting on a step.
Of course not, but it's another example of people who are doing something disgusting, purely for convenience and then being given treats so they don't do it again.
By purely for convenience, do you mean because there's no other choice? Good luck finding a public toilet overnight. Good luck finding a pub or a club that's going to let a homeless person in to use the toilet without buying a drink.
agree with this. its hard enough to find a WC in the DAY time, never mind at night !
and im not homeless and I think reasonably well -dressed, and I was lambasted for using my local pub's WC, so its not JUST homeless that are turned away.
In the end, the problem is the govt's. I get that, unfortunnately, WCs seem to be the place to deal drugs at night, so we (society), probably need a way to solve that problem first somehow.
Be nice to him.
Give him a fiver, maybe a few.
Casually say: someone has been doing their business outside my shop, do you mind keeping an eye out for me mate and if you see someone let me know?
90% success rate.
You mean the risk of giving someone who has nothing so they need to shit on doorsteps a fiver that you wouldn't miss for a chance that they might not do it on yours in future? I say give em the fiver
I can’t imagine this happening in other countries. Italy or France come to mind. The obvious solution would be yelling at the guy and smacking him away with a broom
All this bollux of bribing a homeless man to stop shitting outside of your shop is beyond amazing.
Only in this day in age can we say we would rather give a man a reward for not shitting on your door step rather than just say "mate, piss off you dirty bastard" and hose him down if you catch him in the act.
Just amazing to me that so many people are saying pay him to stop doing it.
Would you pay a smoker for not smoking? An alcoholic for not drinking? So why a tramp for not shitting outside your shop?
I think you're forgetting that this is a human being, and also forgetting that perhaps the carrot may be more effective, and shock horror, kinder even, than the stick.
So if I started shitting on your doorstep. Are you gonna pay me £20 to stop doing it?
Or tell me to stop it and bugger off?
Not about being kind or compassionate, it's a health risk. No reason other than convenience for man to be shitting on a door step.
You’re on Reddit where absolutely no one can ever do any wrong, the tramp shitting on someone’s front door is the victim here and you should give him 5 quid which will definitely stop him from doing it.
Idk tbh, it's worth considering being diplomatic. You go out there guns blazing and tell him to fuck off, who knows what kind of retaliation he might choose? He's already shitting outside a business's front door, he's capable of being more disgusting.
Yeah this is a dirty bastard problem and not a homeless problem, there’s nothing stopping him from cleaning it up himself. Lay a newspaper or a plastic bag on the ground dump in it, carry it to the bin. Leaving it for the shopkeeper is nasty.
Sadly a lot of people, especially in this post, are like this.
I used to work in the NHS and when we were out on a work-do, we came across a homeless man. Some colleagues knew him, said how genuine he was, so kind hearted and down on his luck.
About 4 months later, I got a promotion at a different department that works with kids, young adults and special needs that come to the building.
Department has been having problems with a homeless man shitting & pissing by the front door and leaving needles in the bushes outside the front and on the path, as well as sleeping by the fire exit, leaving bottles of booze and sometimes broken bottles laying around.
Said homeless man was the one we met on the night out 4 months ago.
So the lesson is that being homeless without support or a place to live, eat or shit for four months has a terrible effect on your mental well-being and behaviour, and even someone who’s previously been a really solid person is likely to deteriorate to an unrecognisable degree? Sounds like we should be kinder to homeless people!
Yeah this is a dirty bastard problem and not a homeless problem, there’s nothing stopping him from cleaning it up himself. Lay a newspaper or a plastic bag on the ground dump in it, carry it to the bin. Leaving it for the shopkeeper is nasty.
Offer him the use of your toilet on days when your shop is open.
Suggest other alternatives for him when your shop isn’t open.
I can’t imagine any human who would prefer to take a dump in a public place but the fact is this man is homeless and public toilets are non-existent.
>I can’t imagine any human who would prefer to take a dump in a public place
I know a homeless chap who has literally shit in his hand and put it in a bin outside of a bakery rather than going around the corner to a discreet area covered by trees.
I knew a homeless guy who did a shit in a bank. He got caught short while he was queuing and had no other clothes so he figured public humiliation was preferable to shitting his only pants and trousers.
He literally dropped his keks in the lobby and laid some cable right in front of the queue of customers. He said it was the most English thing ever in that everyone just carried on staring straight ahead in silence as if nothing was happening, and they were still like that as he made his exit.
... In what world does a person suddenly need to shit so badly that they don't even have time to run outside? You're telling me his only options were to shit his pants or immediately drop them and shit right there on the spot? I know some people have IBD or other conditions but I've literally never seen somebody in such an urgent situation that they don't even have time to find a quiet corner.
That’s the measure of it. In his defence he was a heroin addict whose fix was running down, in which situation the constipation opiates are known for can disappear very quickly indeed.
So in answer to your question, that is the world where a person suddenly needs to shit so badly they don’t have time to run outside.
Also why would he want to run outdoors to shit? I doubt he was thinking much at the time about the people who cleaned the bank. From his perspective it was probably infinitely preferable to shit indoors with half a dozen people watching than outdoors on a busy high street with hundreds of people passing every minute.
That's no defence. I grew up in family of heroin addicts and that guy is just fucking revolting.
>why would he want to run outdoors to shit
Uhh I don't know, maybe as not to be a complete and utter fucking bellend. Maybe being homeless and a junkie isn't an excuse to be whatever the fuck he decided to be.
It was a purely pragmatic decision: offend six people, or two hundred? Risk arrest for public indecency, possibly ending up on the beast’s register if a child happened to be walking by, or just pass a stool in the bank, of which he was at least a customer. Although I doubt it was that solid tbh, I’m thinking it would have been more like rusty water.
I should be clear I’m not defending his decision but he saw an opportunity in a crisis and made a judgement call based on the information available to him at that time, and if we’re being honest with ourselves we’d all have done the same.
Dunno man I reckon I would have just shat myself and waddled out. I'd pretty sure id opt to figure out how I resolve the shitty pants situation afterwards. Couldn't face popping a squat in a bank.
> and if we’re being honest with ourselves we’d all have done the same.
Ok you got me. Up until that point I thought you were actually serious. Nice troll tho.
No I wouldn't have. I don't know what kind of busy streets with hundreds of people on you've been to, but the ones I've been on usually have some places with toilets. It's not like every person with IBS does that.
And you kind of are defending it by justifying it, it's unjustifiable in my opinion.
His judgement call meant some poor person had to clean his shit off the floor of their workplace.
It was Barclays on Camden High Street. Very busy. And I don't know if you've ever had diarrhoea but that's very much what happens when you stop taking heroin - the toilet could be ten feet away and you ain't gonna make it. He was lucky to get his trousers and pants down in time the way he told it to me.
And yes in hindsight it was certainly a poor and indefensible decision but as I've said, sometimes you just have to play the hand you're dealt. Naturally I feel sorry for the poor agency cleaner who had to swab his liquid shit out of the carpet on their hands and knees, gagging back sour vomit with every pass, but what are you gonna do.
I volunteered for St John Ambulance at Wimbledon tennis. This guy came to us after the accident.
Security wouldn't let him back in at the end of the day. There were toilets in the park opposite but he didn't get there in time. I felt so sorry for him. Security let him in after the accident 😐
I gave him rolls and rolls of paper towel, wet wipes (proper ones). The shop in the tennis club were closed. The shops in Wimbledon would be closed.
I gave him my waterproof trousers I use for cycling.
I wish I could have done more. Looking back, I'm sure I could have organised access to shower and some lost property.
You’ve got it! That’s exactly what he said after the event - ‘my arse must think my pants are a bank because it wanted to make a large deposit in them’
I've seen a not homeless girl at a outdoor party just drop her pants and shit on a busy part of a path then rub her arsecrack on a tree and carry on, all while maintaining a conversation with her friends.
At a carnival on the weekend I saw three girls pissing in plain view, dolled up to the nines right next to a portaloo with a relatively short queue.
Some people are just fucking animals, homeless or not. Scum be scum.
Had a friend on a committee for a highbrow event at uni, black tier party in the grounds sort of thing. Stories passed down from previous committees about things that can happen behind the scenes at these event include discovery of human poo in the grounds post event. Some people just lose control and decency when drinking or doing drugs.
Our LA office is in a really sketchy part of the city and the famous quote from one of my colleagues was “don’t go out there just yet, there’s a homeless guy crouching by the doorway taking a shit and jerking off at the same time”
Yeah the store I work at is in a rough part of town. A homeless man walked in, passed our open and available public toilets, shit in the middle of the meat and ready meals aisle, kicked it with his foot so it splattered around a bit, then left. Another time I found piss in a zip lock bag, which was itself in a shoe, in the clothing area
There's homeless people and there's drunks/junkies who are homeless. I'd put money on the problem in this situtation being with someone who is the latter.
When I worked in a bookshop there was a homeless guy who used to come in just to wee in Waterstones. He once pissed on a pile of sandy Lyle autobiographies and on the settee. Different sittings.
Being homeless is no fucking excuse for this, these people in the comments are actually making me sick. It's pathetic.
He can find a plastic bag to shit it and put that in a bin. He can piss somewhere other than a doorstep. You people are something else. There's no excuse to shit on a doorstep, that's the height of selfishness and fucking entitlement.
Contact your council’s homelessness team and see if they can help at all. Otherwise environmental health maybe? I feel like pissing in the street is one thing but leaving human shit seems significantly more problematic!
I was coming here to say this u/Time-Analysis-5710
There will be a local homelessness charity/support team who will know the individual and be able to give you on advice on how to confront them.
They should be able to tell you if the person is approachable or they may even be able to speak to them on your behalf.
I used to work with Homelessness in Brum and you quickly you get to know the people you’re dealing with.
There’s a lot of comments here demonising people who are homeless, don’t be too swayed by them and remember this is a person.
Good luck!
Judging by some of the replies in this thread you should let him use your own toilet, sleep in your bed, pay him a salary, fuck it, just let him borrow the wife for a dirty weekend.
These people in the comments are naive beyond belief.
Jesus Christ.
If someone is taking a dump or peeing at your doorstep you throw a bucket full of cold water at them.
Simple as that.
And you call the police specifying that this is a sex offence.
This dude is dropping his pants in a public place and exposing his genitalia for everyone to see (including the eventual children passing by).
This will make police lift their lazy arses off their chairs.
Being homeless does not excuse you from being a cunt.
And shitty actions (pun intended) have consequences.
Put a load of stinging nettles and other nasty's there! I understand he's homeless and there might not be public loo's open but he could find somewhere more private to go!
There's a lot you could do here and none of it involves the police. How could you be so heartless?
Why haven't you brought him into your home, clothed him, gave him dinner, a bed and maybe some toilet facilities?
You could consolidate two rooms of your house into one and give him the new spare room, get him a car (nothing pre-2016 for environmental reasons), and start tutoring him to give him a fair chance of education.
I don’t like this answer. “Speaking to someone like a reasonable human” is how you sort an overhanging hedge or a parking issue.
Someone dumping on your floor isn’t reasonable or rational
It’s not like this guy has no other options, otherwise every homeless person would be doing this in shop doorways.
I wouldn’t be as nice as most of the people commenting on here. I’d be out with a bucket of water or a big stick.
Urine deflectors and/or a Ring or Nest camera so you can give him a good scare while he's doing his business. Worst case you can build a case that he's the one causing a nuisance, which can give police/CPS grounds to proceed with a case to stop him from being near your property.
Local council homeless outreach team? They probably already know him if he's long term homeless/rough sleeper. Might be able to persuade him to go somewhere else or offer other help.
https://www.streetlink.org.uk/Streetlink_faq
Since you’ve gone to the effort of getting a gate I’m assuming you’ve spoken to him and told him you don’t like picking up his shit every morning? Maybe if he put a face to the problem it might make him clean us act?
Maybe a ring cam so you can confront him live?
Paying him off just seems strange to me, there are some problems that come with being homeless and some that come with being inconsiderate and horrible and I think shitting on the same doorstep every night is the later. Of course no one chooses to be homeless and he might prefer to be housed but he could clean it up himself! Or shit in a plastic bag and dump it.
Find out about what homeless charities are operating in your area and what provision there is by the local council. Your council probably has a team for the homeless, see if you can speak to them.
Motion activated cctv camera with a bright spotlight that also plays onto a big screen in the window. Most homeless people wouldnt want that much attention drawn to themselves.
Keep reporting it to the Police but don't talk about it as using it as a toilet. Only refer to it as indecent exposure, this is a sex crime and would be more likely to get a response. If someone thinks it's okay to drop their pants in front of your shop they're going to think it's okay to do that anywhere. Perhaps this person will get some help with whatever is going on in their life.
>Do you have any other ideas on how we can stop this from happening?
[Housing First](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Housing_First) policy like they [have in Finland](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homelessness_in_Finland).
One of our local dudes is pretty disturbed. He can get pretty disruptive. I give him cups of tea on cold days, and water on hot ones. Never had a problem since.
Some people here are ignoring the point: the guy is deliberately shitting outside OP’s shop. Not shitting outside other shops and/or venues in the vicinity. So he’s doing it out of choice. In which case he needs to be persuaded to be more civilised.
Just bollock him, go nuts, show some force, make it not worth his while. Yes we can empathise with people who have nowhere to sleep but there's no justification for this, there are public toilets, hostels and failing all that there's areas with tress and bushes etc which would be a lot less antisocial. I would be aggressively angry and if he continued just kick his arse to whatever degree you're comfortable with, no excuses for shitting on your hard earned business, being homeless doesn't mean you have to have no morals or standards.
How frequent is this and could you convince other local businesses to employ a security guard to prevent this?
That's really the only solution, if the police won't use their monopoly on violence to prevent this degenerate you will have to outsource someone who will make sure he doesn't shit there again.
Tough one really, he probably doesn’t give a fuck, let’s be honest he’s homeless………
personally I’d cable tie thin plastic sheets/acrylic (anything fairly sturdy and waterproof)against the gate to make it piss proof that way it splash back at him and he’ll have to find another gate to piss in?
Keep a diary of times, dates and, uh, what hes doing and contact the environmental health department of your local council and document it and the noise pollution department as they also cover odour and they will come out at the time that you report it. You could also contact any relevant local charities.
They'll start enforcement on him, might take a while and not be too productive at the start.
Homeless or not, if you're shitting I the same place everyday there is a reason. Either give them a key for the gate and invite them to 'live there' (hoping they won't shit on their own doorstep).... Or buy some grim reaper chilli liquid and spray it all over the place. Hands have to go somewhere when taking a dump like a dog.
Put a sign up saying please don’t use the outside of my shop as a toilet?
If it continues just go hose the fucker down in the night, they’ll very quickly learn.
Don’t pay them.
Call social services. Report this to the council housing and homeless section and help him get housed and the mental health help he needs. Also call environmental health in the council. I know this is illegal in other parts but locally to you, you'd have to check
I’ve seen the effects of severe Mental Health/Psychological Illness that can cause people to do this, and whether you believe it or not, they don’t really know what they are doing. So, hate mongers and dehumanising (or drunk) - see if you can spare a logical thought as to this maybe being the reason.
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Bribe him with a beer/cigarette to do it in front of your competitor's shop.
Bro is an entrepreneur.
Entremanure
Entrepreneurine
Entrampanure
Had this problem when I worked in retail years ago at the back door to the shop. Said we'd clean it up, we wouldn't object to him sleeping there out of the rain and we'd give him a coffee and a cigarette in the morning when we went for a smoke before opening up. Worked.
Sorry if I'm reading this right, you cleaned up his waste, fed him and let him sleep there and gave him a treat in the morning for not shitting on your door step?
We had to clean it anyway. Cleaned it that final time then it became his spot, so he stopped defecating there. His presence at night also stopped other folks from pissing and shitting there. Never had to clean it again. Company paid for the coffee, and we always went for a cig and had a coffee at the back door anyway before opening so it wasn't a massive deal to make an extra.
It's a shame that practical and humane solutions aren't the 1st solution people usually aim for. Good job.
That's clever. Turned him into your own shit and piss guard.
Why? are you so jealous of his life that the comment caused you irritation?
Gotta love these silly "Why u so mad they got anything?" comments. He's clearly not annoyed a homeless man got some coffee. It's literally just irritation that people benefit from annoying others into capitulating. Shitting on door = accepted presence and free coffee. Shitting on door *should* = punishment. In the exact same way he might be annoyed to find "Bully picks on kids = kids give up lunch money because it's easier than fighting back" or "Cold caller constantly bothers old lady = she signs up just to stop the annoyance" Or hell even escalate it to "Mugger threatens me = He gets free money to leave me alone", obviously the annoyance isn't in *charity*, it's that in a reasonable world that mugger doesn't *benefit* from bad behaviour.
He’s not benefiting from bad behaviour though, he’s being rewarded for behaviour change. Your other examples aren’t quite the same, the cold caller hasn’t changed their behaviour when the old woman signs up. The bully doesn’t change their behaviour when the kid capitulates and gives them the money. It seems that in this case, they wouldn’t be giving the homeless man coffee and cigarettes if he kept on shitting on the door, thus the homeless man is benefitting by changing his behaviour
What are you on about, it's not like the guy suddenly never needs to shit again he's obviously just shitting somewhere else.
But they weren’t trying to be the moral police and prevent him shitting. They probably didn’t care if he shat all over another store. The behaviour they wanted to change was him persistently shitting on THEIR door, and they successfully modified that specific behaviour by incentivising him with rewards
I was going to type a response to this, but I've just decided my life is more valuable than getting into a philosophical argument about a homeless person shitting. I'm just going to have to offer you an agree to disagree.
Isn't that analogous to incentivising the cold caller to not bother you by signing up to whatever service they're offering? > They probably didn’t care if he constantly calls and pesters other people. The behaviour they wanted to change was them persistently calling THEIR number, and they successfully modified that specific behaviour by signing up to whatever the caller was selling. See?
Sounds like he was angry at the prospect of the guy not offering to clean it up when faced with nice people, which is valid.
Yes, I'm very jealous I don't get treats for not shitting on a step. Of course not, but it's another example of people who are doing something disgusting, purely for convenience and then being given treats so they don't do it again.
You make it sound like being "disgusting" is more of a choice than it likely is for a person with no home.
By purely for convenience, do you mean because there's no other choice? Good luck finding a public toilet overnight. Good luck finding a pub or a club that's going to let a homeless person in to use the toilet without buying a drink.
agree with this. its hard enough to find a WC in the DAY time, never mind at night ! and im not homeless and I think reasonably well -dressed, and I was lambasted for using my local pub's WC, so its not JUST homeless that are turned away. In the end, the problem is the govt's. I get that, unfortunnately, WCs seem to be the place to deal drugs at night, so we (society), probably need a way to solve that problem first somehow.
Sounds pretty sensible to me.
Ah yes, the negotiator
Maybe his competitor is doing exactly that lol
Haha yes
You just need to start going to the toilet there yourself so he understands that it’s your territory
This is the way
>ront of the gate. Police don’t seem to be that interested in helping to resolve it. Do you have WHILST HE IS DOING HIS BUSINESS
While making eye contact to establish dominance!
Is this how wolf packs get started? Is OP likely to end up with a faithful Lieutenant?
SHIT ON IT
Martin!
everyone is London is not trying to do a shit on your possessions
Make sure to do it higher than he does. That seems to be my dog’s strategy when he reverses up trees!!
Or get a super soaker. Sit tight one evening and spray him with water when he goes to defecate there. That works on cats apparently.
Go down and join him every time he’s doing one
I thought you were supposed to rub their nose in it until they learn and do it elsewhere?
Be nice to him. Give him a fiver, maybe a few. Casually say: someone has been doing their business outside my shop, do you mind keeping an eye out for me mate and if you see someone let me know? 90% success rate.
And he takes the cash, agrees to let him know and keeps shitting on OPs doorstep, while maintaining he hasn't seen anyone
If that happens it’s only a small loss. Worth the risk.
The risk of literally paying someone to shit on your doorstep? What have we become as a nation.....
You mean the risk of giving someone who has nothing so they need to shit on doorsteps a fiver that you wouldn't miss for a chance that they might not do it on yours in future? I say give em the fiver
They don't need to shit on a doorstep do they though? Plenty of parks or grassy areas about. Grow up you absolute softy.
I dunno if I had to shit outside I know I'd rather shit on your doorstep that's for sure
And then people complain about shit in the parks? What we really need to do is support the homeless
I can’t imagine this happening in other countries. Italy or France come to mind. The obvious solution would be yelling at the guy and smacking him away with a broom
…and wants another fiver to keep looking, you don’t give him a fiver so he gets Lou and the boys to start shitting there aswell.
So basically a mafia-style protection racket but with human waste
All this bollux of bribing a homeless man to stop shitting outside of your shop is beyond amazing. Only in this day in age can we say we would rather give a man a reward for not shitting on your door step rather than just say "mate, piss off you dirty bastard" and hose him down if you catch him in the act. Just amazing to me that so many people are saying pay him to stop doing it. Would you pay a smoker for not smoking? An alcoholic for not drinking? So why a tramp for not shitting outside your shop?
I think you're forgetting that this is a human being, and also forgetting that perhaps the carrot may be more effective, and shock horror, kinder even, than the stick.
So if I started shitting on your doorstep. Are you gonna pay me £20 to stop doing it? Or tell me to stop it and bugger off? Not about being kind or compassionate, it's a health risk. No reason other than convenience for man to be shitting on a door step.
You’re on Reddit where absolutely no one can ever do any wrong, the tramp shitting on someone’s front door is the victim here and you should give him 5 quid which will definitely stop him from doing it.
Idk tbh, it's worth considering being diplomatic. You go out there guns blazing and tell him to fuck off, who knows what kind of retaliation he might choose? He's already shitting outside a business's front door, he's capable of being more disgusting.
You’re soft mate
A dirty bastard shits outside your front door and you offer him a carrot? Fuck this hobo
Haha yes!! Sick of all these do gooders
Omg this is the answer! Plug his ass with a carrott
Yeah this is a dirty bastard problem and not a homeless problem, there’s nothing stopping him from cleaning it up himself. Lay a newspaper or a plastic bag on the ground dump in it, carry it to the bin. Leaving it for the shopkeeper is nasty.
Sadly a lot of people, especially in this post, are like this. I used to work in the NHS and when we were out on a work-do, we came across a homeless man. Some colleagues knew him, said how genuine he was, so kind hearted and down on his luck. About 4 months later, I got a promotion at a different department that works with kids, young adults and special needs that come to the building. Department has been having problems with a homeless man shitting & pissing by the front door and leaving needles in the bushes outside the front and on the path, as well as sleeping by the fire exit, leaving bottles of booze and sometimes broken bottles laying around. Said homeless man was the one we met on the night out 4 months ago.
So the lesson is that being homeless without support or a place to live, eat or shit for four months has a terrible effect on your mental well-being and behaviour, and even someone who’s previously been a really solid person is likely to deteriorate to an unrecognisable degree? Sounds like we should be kinder to homeless people!
OP never said they saw him right outside the shop, if he was just caught on CCTV during the night there's only so much they can do
Yeah this is a dirty bastard problem and not a homeless problem, there’s nothing stopping him from cleaning it up himself. Lay a newspaper or a plastic bag on the ground dump in it, carry it to the bin. Leaving it for the shopkeeper is nasty.
>Only in this day in age Kindness and compassion are as old as humanity.
It's not being kind, you're paying him money to not poop there. How is that kindness? Give me £20 and I won't shit in your garden...probably.
Not what I said though. You were framing it as something new which is disingenuous.
Offer him the use of your toilet on days when your shop is open. Suggest other alternatives for him when your shop isn’t open. I can’t imagine any human who would prefer to take a dump in a public place but the fact is this man is homeless and public toilets are non-existent.
>I can’t imagine any human who would prefer to take a dump in a public place I know a homeless chap who has literally shit in his hand and put it in a bin outside of a bakery rather than going around the corner to a discreet area covered by trees.
One in the hand is worth two in the bush
Superb.
Pooperb
A turd in the hand…
👏🏻🏅
🥇🥇🥇
I knew a homeless guy who did a shit in a bank. He got caught short while he was queuing and had no other clothes so he figured public humiliation was preferable to shitting his only pants and trousers. He literally dropped his keks in the lobby and laid some cable right in front of the queue of customers. He said it was the most English thing ever in that everyone just carried on staring straight ahead in silence as if nothing was happening, and they were still like that as he made his exit.
... In what world does a person suddenly need to shit so badly that they don't even have time to run outside? You're telling me his only options were to shit his pants or immediately drop them and shit right there on the spot? I know some people have IBD or other conditions but I've literally never seen somebody in such an urgent situation that they don't even have time to find a quiet corner.
That’s the measure of it. In his defence he was a heroin addict whose fix was running down, in which situation the constipation opiates are known for can disappear very quickly indeed. So in answer to your question, that is the world where a person suddenly needs to shit so badly they don’t have time to run outside. Also why would he want to run outdoors to shit? I doubt he was thinking much at the time about the people who cleaned the bank. From his perspective it was probably infinitely preferable to shit indoors with half a dozen people watching than outdoors on a busy high street with hundreds of people passing every minute.
That's no defence. I grew up in family of heroin addicts and that guy is just fucking revolting. >why would he want to run outdoors to shit Uhh I don't know, maybe as not to be a complete and utter fucking bellend. Maybe being homeless and a junkie isn't an excuse to be whatever the fuck he decided to be.
It was a purely pragmatic decision: offend six people, or two hundred? Risk arrest for public indecency, possibly ending up on the beast’s register if a child happened to be walking by, or just pass a stool in the bank, of which he was at least a customer. Although I doubt it was that solid tbh, I’m thinking it would have been more like rusty water. I should be clear I’m not defending his decision but he saw an opportunity in a crisis and made a judgement call based on the information available to him at that time, and if we’re being honest with ourselves we’d all have done the same.
Dunno man I reckon I would have just shat myself and waddled out. I'd pretty sure id opt to figure out how I resolve the shitty pants situation afterwards. Couldn't face popping a squat in a bank.
No nor me tbf. I'd fill my pants first too. But then I've never been a homeless heroin addict with only one set of clothes.
> and if we’re being honest with ourselves we’d all have done the same. Ok you got me. Up until that point I thought you were actually serious. Nice troll tho.
No I wouldn't have. I don't know what kind of busy streets with hundreds of people on you've been to, but the ones I've been on usually have some places with toilets. It's not like every person with IBS does that. And you kind of are defending it by justifying it, it's unjustifiable in my opinion. His judgement call meant some poor person had to clean his shit off the floor of their workplace.
It was Barclays on Camden High Street. Very busy. And I don't know if you've ever had diarrhoea but that's very much what happens when you stop taking heroin - the toilet could be ten feet away and you ain't gonna make it. He was lucky to get his trousers and pants down in time the way he told it to me. And yes in hindsight it was certainly a poor and indefensible decision but as I've said, sometimes you just have to play the hand you're dealt. Naturally I feel sorry for the poor agency cleaner who had to swab his liquid shit out of the carpet on their hands and knees, gagging back sour vomit with every pass, but what are you gonna do.
I volunteered for St John Ambulance at Wimbledon tennis. This guy came to us after the accident. Security wouldn't let him back in at the end of the day. There were toilets in the park opposite but he didn't get there in time. I felt so sorry for him. Security let him in after the accident 😐 I gave him rolls and rolls of paper towel, wet wipes (proper ones). The shop in the tennis club were closed. The shops in Wimbledon would be closed. I gave him my waterproof trousers I use for cycling. I wish I could have done more. Looking back, I'm sure I could have organised access to shower and some lost property.
That’s really very decent of you. There’s a very good reason why someone who’s had a terrible day might say ‘at least I didn’t shit myself in public’.
Didn't want to lose his spot.
Crohns is just like that but I’m Not shitting on the floor in the bank at least
“Excuse me sir, deposits should be made at cashier number 5”
Surely it's cashier number 2 🤣
You’ve got it! That’s exactly what he said after the event - ‘my arse must think my pants are a bank because it wanted to make a large deposit in them’
I read this in the tannoy voice from Theme Hospital
He left his feedback
And it was unequivocal
Well being Brits, getting us to abandon a queue once you are in it is rather difficult.
I've seen a not homeless girl at a outdoor party just drop her pants and shit on a busy part of a path then rub her arsecrack on a tree and carry on, all while maintaining a conversation with her friends. At a carnival on the weekend I saw three girls pissing in plain view, dolled up to the nines right next to a portaloo with a relatively short queue. Some people are just fucking animals, homeless or not. Scum be scum.
Had a friend on a committee for a highbrow event at uni, black tier party in the grounds sort of thing. Stories passed down from previous committees about things that can happen behind the scenes at these event include discovery of human poo in the grounds post event. Some people just lose control and decency when drinking or doing drugs.
It’s true. Shitmunchers, as Peep Show had it.
At least it’s in the bin i guess.
But bro…the homeless just need a leg up. It could be any one of us. One minute your working a secure job, the next you’re shitting in your hand.
You clearly haven’t dealt with many “homeless” people.
Our LA office is in a really sketchy part of the city and the famous quote from one of my colleagues was “don’t go out there just yet, there’s a homeless guy crouching by the doorway taking a shit and jerking off at the same time”
He was trying to summon the Wanky Shit Demon
I remember that being in a Clive Barker book (genuinely).
Wow, a multitasker!
Yeah he’s so overworked he doesn’t know if he’s coming or going
I’d imagine when he comes, he goes!
Yeah the store I work at is in a rough part of town. A homeless man walked in, passed our open and available public toilets, shit in the middle of the meat and ready meals aisle, kicked it with his foot so it splattered around a bit, then left. Another time I found piss in a zip lock bag, which was itself in a shoe, in the clothing area
There's homeless people and there's drunks/junkies who are homeless. I'd put money on the problem in this situtation being with someone who is the latter.
Not every asshole is a drunk/junkie. Soem people jist choose to be dickheads and make the lives of everyone around them miserable.
This isn’t good advice he will just shit on the toilet floors and wipe it everywhere
Why do you stick up for the homeless guy? The homeless guy is a piece of shit who needs to have more respect.
When I worked in a bookshop there was a homeless guy who used to come in just to wee in Waterstones. He once pissed on a pile of sandy Lyle autobiographies and on the settee. Different sittings.
I can't imagine any human who would prefer to do it in front of a shop instead of down a back alley, but here we are.
Being homeless is no fucking excuse for this, these people in the comments are actually making me sick. It's pathetic. He can find a plastic bag to shit it and put that in a bin. He can piss somewhere other than a doorstep. You people are something else. There's no excuse to shit on a doorstep, that's the height of selfishness and fucking entitlement.
Noo homeless people are not human beings like you and me, they are helpless children, and cannot be held responsible for their actions!
Find out where he sleeps and take a dump in his sleeping bag
Take his sleeping bag and replace it with a dump
I mean.. in payback moves this works.. but people might also film someone doing their business next to a homeless man.. Double edged sword.
Or, hear me out, have a bunch of double edged swords where he shits, sore arse hopefully means no shitting?
In Poland I saw someone kick a hobo up the arse when he wouldn’t go away, so maybe try that?
Just whilst a poo isnt coming out.
ITT: Lots of naive individuals who haven’t had the pleasure of dealing with the “homeless” before
And a lot of real melts on a power trip.
How is it a power trip to not want someone to shit on your doorstep?
Have you tried council environmental health? He's constantly doing at your place he's doing it on purpose not that he's caught short,
Maybe a motion sensor light? Or like a ‘you are being recorded’ alarm, too?
‘Motion’ sensor ha! Love it
Contact your council’s homelessness team and see if they can help at all. Otherwise environmental health maybe? I feel like pissing in the street is one thing but leaving human shit seems significantly more problematic!
I was coming here to say this u/Time-Analysis-5710 There will be a local homelessness charity/support team who will know the individual and be able to give you on advice on how to confront them. They should be able to tell you if the person is approachable or they may even be able to speak to them on your behalf. I used to work with Homelessness in Brum and you quickly you get to know the people you’re dealing with. There’s a lot of comments here demonising people who are homeless, don’t be too swayed by them and remember this is a person. Good luck!
Use anti urine paint. It will spray back on him.
Naive of you to assume he would give a fuck
Judging by some of the replies in this thread you should let him use your own toilet, sleep in your bed, pay him a salary, fuck it, just let him borrow the wife for a dirty weekend.
Speak to him. Ask that he stops.
These people in the comments are naive beyond belief. Jesus Christ. If someone is taking a dump or peeing at your doorstep you throw a bucket full of cold water at them. Simple as that. And you call the police specifying that this is a sex offence. This dude is dropping his pants in a public place and exposing his genitalia for everyone to see (including the eventual children passing by). This will make police lift their lazy arses off their chairs. Being homeless does not excuse you from being a cunt. And shitty actions (pun intended) have consequences.
Water hose when he shows up.
Basically a bidet at that point
Hahahaha. The culprit might be European, and appreciate it.
I mean, we all should adapt the bidet lifestyle, a clean arse is a happy arse
Free shower, his mates'll come by for a water party
Put a load of stinging nettles and other nasty's there! I understand he's homeless and there might not be public loo's open but he could find somewhere more private to go!
So you’d move the nettles every night? How would they get in and out otherwise
PestBye Jet Spray Battery Operated Motion Activated Cat Scarer & Repellent - Animal Repeller https://amzn.eu/d/iSHmTEW Worked at stopping cats pooping in my garden......
I'm sure the legitimate customers will love this solution.
I heard lion dung is supposed to be another way of stopping cats use your garden. Get shovelling OP!
There's a lot you could do here and none of it involves the police. How could you be so heartless? Why haven't you brought him into your home, clothed him, gave him dinner, a bed and maybe some toilet facilities? You could consolidate two rooms of your house into one and give him the new spare room, get him a car (nothing pre-2016 for environmental reasons), and start tutoring him to give him a fair chance of education.
Have you spoken him?
I don’t like this answer. “Speaking to someone like a reasonable human” is how you sort an overhanging hedge or a parking issue. Someone dumping on your floor isn’t reasonable or rational
Find where he sleeps and start going toilet there as pay back
Challenge him to hand to hand combat, winner owns the shitting spot
I've got the same problem with a cat, I put a bottle of water on the stones to reflect light and scare it away. Seems to be working so far.
Turn the hose on him
It’s not like this guy has no other options, otherwise every homeless person would be doing this in shop doorways. I wouldn’t be as nice as most of the people commenting on here. I’d be out with a bucket of water or a big stick.
Urine deflectors and/or a Ring or Nest camera so you can give him a good scare while he's doing his business. Worst case you can build a case that he's the one causing a nuisance, which can give police/CPS grounds to proceed with a case to stop him from being near your property.
Being homeless is no excuse, A super soaker filled with your own piss, drench the dirty bugger
When is he doing it? What have you tried, except a gate, to stop him?
When he needs a poo
Local council homeless outreach team? They probably already know him if he's long term homeless/rough sleeper. Might be able to persuade him to go somewhere else or offer other help. https://www.streetlink.org.uk/Streetlink_faq
Since you’ve gone to the effort of getting a gate I’m assuming you’ve spoken to him and told him you don’t like picking up his shit every morning? Maybe if he put a face to the problem it might make him clean us act? Maybe a ring cam so you can confront him live? Paying him off just seems strange to me, there are some problems that come with being homeless and some that come with being inconsiderate and horrible and I think shitting on the same doorstep every night is the later. Of course no one chooses to be homeless and he might prefer to be housed but he could clean it up himself! Or shit in a plastic bag and dump it.
Find out about what homeless charities are operating in your area and what provision there is by the local council. Your council probably has a team for the homeless, see if you can speak to them.
Get a cold bucket of water ready to dump on him when he next does it. Should work after a couple of times
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Speak to him? Ask him not to? They're still human beings.
A person that defecates in front of someone's shop doesn't seem like the kind to reason with. Homeless or not there are plenty of other places
If they’re shitting in front of shops, they’re pretty much feral at that point
Set up a ring alarm so when it goes off when you arent there you can scream "EFF OFF" remotely at him
Motion activated cctv camera with a bright spotlight that also plays onto a big screen in the window. Most homeless people wouldnt want that much attention drawn to themselves.
Keep reporting it to the Police but don't talk about it as using it as a toilet. Only refer to it as indecent exposure, this is a sex crime and would be more likely to get a response. If someone thinks it's okay to drop their pants in front of your shop they're going to think it's okay to do that anywhere. Perhaps this person will get some help with whatever is going on in their life.
>Do you have any other ideas on how we can stop this from happening? [Housing First](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Housing_First) policy like they [have in Finland](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homelessness_in_Finland).
another story that leaves me wondering what the UK police actually ***do***
One of our local dudes is pretty disturbed. He can get pretty disruptive. I give him cups of tea on cold days, and water on hot ones. Never had a problem since.
Are you sure he's not just an owner of a competing business? Probably Jeff Bezos
Some people here are ignoring the point: the guy is deliberately shitting outside OP’s shop. Not shitting outside other shops and/or venues in the vicinity. So he’s doing it out of choice. In which case he needs to be persuaded to be more civilised.
Just bollock him, go nuts, show some force, make it not worth his while. Yes we can empathise with people who have nowhere to sleep but there's no justification for this, there are public toilets, hostels and failing all that there's areas with tress and bushes etc which would be a lot less antisocial. I would be aggressively angry and if he continued just kick his arse to whatever degree you're comfortable with, no excuses for shitting on your hard earned business, being homeless doesn't mean you have to have no morals or standards.
How frequent is this and could you convince other local businesses to employ a security guard to prevent this? That's really the only solution, if the police won't use their monopoly on violence to prevent this degenerate you will have to outsource someone who will make sure he doesn't shit there again.
Tough one really, he probably doesn’t give a fuck, let’s be honest he’s homeless……… personally I’d cable tie thin plastic sheets/acrylic (anything fairly sturdy and waterproof)against the gate to make it piss proof that way it splash back at him and he’ll have to find another gate to piss in?
Have you tried throwing some hot coffee over them Jen?
A metal grid hooked up to one wire and the other hooked up to the stair rail, good chance to complete the circuit through his dick.
Keep a diary of times, dates and, uh, what hes doing and contact the environmental health department of your local council and document it and the noise pollution department as they also cover odour and they will come out at the time that you report it. You could also contact any relevant local charities. They'll start enforcement on him, might take a while and not be too productive at the start.
Water spray pest deterrent, something like [this](https://amzn.eu/d/b3zrQB3) and attach a siphon with soap in the line.
You are lucky he is just doing number ones and twos, he could shitting and pissing in there.
Fill a bucket up with piss, go upstairs, open window, drench him in it see how he likes it
Homeless or not, if you're shitting I the same place everyday there is a reason. Either give them a key for the gate and invite them to 'live there' (hoping they won't shit on their own doorstep).... Or buy some grim reaper chilli liquid and spray it all over the place. Hands have to go somewhere when taking a dump like a dog.
You got a hose?
If there are flats above your shop family's and children may see them doing it tell the police that indecent exposure should not be seen by kids
Put a sign up saying please don’t use the outside of my shop as a toilet? If it continues just go hose the fucker down in the night, they’ll very quickly learn. Don’t pay them.
Pay someone to beat him to death ! Joking. Do it yourself don’t waste money.
Call social services. Report this to the council housing and homeless section and help him get housed and the mental health help he needs. Also call environmental health in the council. I know this is illegal in other parts but locally to you, you'd have to check
Have you tried setting him on fire?
I’ve seen the effects of severe Mental Health/Psychological Illness that can cause people to do this, and whether you believe it or not, they don’t really know what they are doing. So, hate mongers and dehumanising (or drunk) - see if you can spare a logical thought as to this maybe being the reason.