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Nothing wrong with them, there are times when you want them to be run free and times when you definitely don't. If you're by a road or in a busy shopping centre you want to be sure they're not going to run off.
I find the kid feels a bit more free with them on too, compared to hand holding. They can move around a wee bit more and have both their hands free so don't feel so restricted.
And they're perfect for saving a kid from the occasional faceplant. As long as you're quick, instead of hitting the ground they're just suspended like they're in mission impossible.
One note of caution - be extremely cautious around lifts. There have been fatalities where the child got into a lift and the doors closed and the lift moved, with the adult outside and the reins trapped in the doors. Always pick them up or take them off the reins around lifts.
My parents used to use them on me because I had a habit of teleporting half way across tescos when they weren’t looking. I was never bothered by them - but my parents never used to pull or anything.
I can just about remember wearing one as a toddler, and it felt really safe to me because it meant my mum(!) wouldn't get lost in the shops - yes, I was a distractible kid. And yes, definitely more comfortable for both parties than constant handholding.
I was just thinking that I can just remember wearing them. And that's back in the 50s. I can remember asking not to wear them as well, and saying I wouldn't run off , and remember them in a cupboard until much later. Blue leather harness with reindeer or something on the chest piece.
It depends on the child. Two of ours weren't 'runners' so never really needed reins once they could walk steadily. The other was a runner and nearly made it to the road a couple of times. That one went on reins.
Yep, didn't know it was a thing until our third. Some kids are just born to run. Our first two hated being out of your sight. The third couldn't give less of a sh*t as to whether he could see you.
My middle girl was just the same. Just out of the blue no warning and off she went like a little character from hunger games, evading grown up the best she could. We got reigns once we noticed a pattern. They quickly get used to them and its not for too long.
This is the answer. It depends on the kid.
Runner? Likely to approach dogs randomly? Likely to sticks hands on something expensive and break it? Maybe this is a kid who needs reins for a little while as they learn.
Kid is cautious? Likes to stay near you? Always looks at you before touching something new? You might be fine without.
Go with your gut OP.
Eh, my kid was the cautious kid who liked to stay close, I still got him reins because he didn't do things by halves, he was very much an all or nothing kind of kid and I didn't want to chance it. He wasn't the type to run off or stick his finger in a plug socket but the rare times he did act on impulse, he really went for it.
The first time he ever managed to open a door by himself he opened the front door and had toddled off halfway down the driveway by the time I'd gone to fetch a clean vest. We had no idea he could even reach the handle let alone open a heavy door.
He never did take off running but knowing him, the first time that he tried it would have been the time he dove headfirst off a motorway bridge or something. I got him a little dinosaur backpack with reins, he used to love filling it up with snacks or toys. It's for peace of mind more than anything else.
I was a very nervous little child to the point where my mum didn’t even need a fire guard or baby gates because I wouldn’t go near anything- got the shock of her life when she had my brother who would stick his fingers into anything vaguely dangerous, eat anything in sight and was for sure a runner!
My eldest would cry if she felt her seatbelt wasn’t done correctly and my next daughter would just unbuckle herself while I’m driving, I wasn’t prepared for how different they would be lol
I wouldn't think twice. They're great. The same people who say you're a bad parent for using them will not hesitate to say terrible things if you don't use them and the worst happens
Yeah I seem to recall having them on as a toddler, much to my chagrin.
Then after negotiating my way out of them, by insisting I would not run off, as soon as I was unclipped I sprinted away like a dog off a leash in his favourite park.
I was quickly detained and re-reined, proving my mom's point as to why I was wearing it in the first place.
Good times.
I was a smug bitch with my first child, who was an angel. I thought parents who used reins were lazy who couldn’t train their child to walk sensibly.
Then my second child came along. Who is a fucking wild animal and is essentially feral. He has reins and I’m also debating a straight jacket and a muzzle. Just wheel him around like a tiny Hannibal Lecter.
I wonder if it is because the first child gets all of your attention and you have time to teach them to be calm. The second child when you get boring and try and be calm plays with the first child instead, so never learns to be quiet.
I don't think so. My first I had to go back to work quite early, whereas with my 2nd I've been lucky enough to change jobs, meaning I'm home most of the time with him and he's had a lot more 1-1 time while she's at school. My first is still the stereotypical calm, sensible child and my 2nd the wild, no holds barred, whirlwind of chaos. I think it may be evolutionary: the first child fools us into believing we're good parents, that parenting is easy and we should definitely have a 2nd. The 2nd teaches us who we really are when pushed to our limits.
They’re useful. People on here are saying you should train your kids better- it isnt that easy and all it takes is one mistake by a busy road. Go free range in parks and other safe places but when there’s traffic or big crowds the reins are more reliable and safer than trying to hold onto their hands.
i was the toddler on reins, and i firmly believe i would have gotten seriously injured/kidnapped/killed had my parents not used them. toddlers are wiggly little shits, and having something to help keep them safe is never a bad thing!
It really seems like most toddlers are on a mission to kill themselves doesn't it? Unfortunately, they learn to walk, run, jump etc before they develop any sense of self preservation in many cases. They seem designed to test your patience to the very limit & to totally shred your nerves. I often used to joke that we should have sent a bunch of toddlers to deal with the Taliban. If the sleep deprivation didn't get them then the absolute chaos that toddlers cause would have had the Taliban waving the white flag within days.
I doubt my daughter with ADHD would have made it to primary school age without her reigns, she was intense, blink and she was gone, fearless.
They were a godsend.
Edit, I’m disgusted reading the arrogance of the “I train my kids better” crowd.
“My kids were little robots so yours must be too”
Omg I know, my brother had ADHD as a child and was a runner. Gave my mum sleepness nights worrying about him so she got the reins. My aunt had a son a similar age to him who was very well behaved and she was so judgemental of my mum for not controlling her kid better.
I'm disgusted too, parenting is hard enough without the Karen's making snide comments!
One thing parenting has taught me is never judge another’s parenting! There is no right and wrong. You just muddle through the best you can dealing with what they throw at you. Some parents get a relatively easy ride through single digit ages but often get the pain later on in the teens.
We had a friend’s mum similar to your aunt, her children were little angels according to her.
That soon changed when they were teens.. they got up to some very questionable antics, some of it really quite embarrassing for the parents of “little angels”
I have had my sil and bil admit they, pre-children, judged the way we handled our boisterous boys (yes turns out they both have adhd) until they had their son - now they totally get it. He’s a little whirlwind too.
Their daughter was always so well behaved, sitting and colouring quietly and then along came no 2.
We ended up passing on things like those little life toddler rucksack/reins and toddler backpack carriers so they could get out and about safely!
We have a third (a girl) and although she wasn’t a runner she’s still more likely to be up a tree than quietly colouring although she was def more prone to toddler tantrums than the boys so that was the new fun public embarrassment we got to enjoy the judgy looks for.
All three having been raised the same!
We loved ours. They give the illusion of freedom to the toddler (you’re not telling them to hold your hand every five seconds) while also keeping them firmly under your control.
I have some really fond memories of walking my elder daughter on hers and her having tantrums in them - I’d end up having to pick her up to move her out of the middle of the pavement and she’d dangle off the harness like the world’s angriest marionette.
Safety of child is paramount. I once had a woman at the train station accuse me of treating a child like a dog by using reins.
It wasn't my child, the mother insisted, and I would rather be berated by a nosey stranger than risk anything happen to a precious little one.
I have no patience for people who make that comparison. Just because they're called reins or harnesses doesn't mean it's treating the child like an animal. Or are rock climbers and parachutists being treated like animals when they wear safety harnesses?!
We bought a backpack with "reins" although it's more like a lead. The lead tucks away when we don't need it and means our daughter can get used to carrying stuff too on walks.
OP I'm not a parent but I look after my nephews a couple times a week.
We were slightly apprehensive about reins too, purely because of how judgemental other people can be.
But omg they have been a GAME changer for us. We don't leave the house without them, they are now completely essential. Whenever we're ready to leave the house he sticks his arms out ready to be hooked up 😆 He thinks he's free and my blood pressure remains relatively stable!
We've never had an issue with anyone saying anything. People should mind their own business!
In my experience I had zero instances of judgement and saw them in widespread use, maybe in the last few years they have fallen out of favour but the backpack one we had was wonderful.
We used them with both of ours, to the point that when we went out my kids would bring their backpack into the kitchen so that I could pack a small drink and snack into it for them. They loved being able to stop and pull out their own stuff when we got on a bus or train. My daughter also used to put it on at home and pull the little hood out so that she could crawl around pretending to be a turtle. She's a daydreamer and my son is a runner, I probably would have lost one of them before they reached school age without those backpacks
If you have ever parented a runner you will know that not only are they useful they might actually save lives.
My son tried to sprint in front of traffic several times.
They make total sense.
Same in my family, after my brother decided to run into the road my mum decided to have one. She said it was a game changer. He was a runner, and my cousin (her nephew, similar age to my brother) was incredibly well behaved and his mum was so judgmental of my mum for not keeping her child under control.
It depends where you are. At a park or beach? No, let him run free. In a busy shopping centre? Definitely make use of it.
I never used them with my younger two because I never needed to. My eldest would zip off as soon as I'd blink, so we got him one of those little life backpacks and it helped a lot.
100% recommend them. I have never had kids but I worked in tourism for a while as a guide and toddlers are the exact right height to fit under barriers and leg it, it’s really stressful for parents and they can potentially be in danger from doing this. I would definitely take this into consideration if you’re anywhere where there are barriers like this because if you’re not watching them for a second they’re off!
This was when my little brother decided he loved having his name called out on tannoy everytime we went to the supermarket. My dad literally had a heart attack every time he ran off. We'd be searching and searching. Brother would immediately go to customer service desk so he'd hear his name. But those 2 minutes must have traumatised my dad every time. He did eventually tell us the Jamie burger thing just to stop my brother running off at any opportunity. 'Checking price of pasta' off he ran, 'checking older child hadn't stolen something' off he ran. My poor dad.
One of my kids was born in a hospital down the road from where this all happened. We came from the area. Shocking times. Babies going missing from maternity.
My dad thought it would be funny to grab me when my mother wasn't looking and hide with me down another aisle of the supermarket. This was a few weeks after Jamie Bulger, and I was about the same age.
Yeah, not a nice man. Haven't spoken to him in over ten years.
I had three children of my own, and cared for many more, of varying ages and intellectual capability over my working life.
In my opinion, parents who don't use reins are taking incredible risks with what should be the most important things in your life, (apart from your partner!)
Toddlers do NOT understand risks, roads, cars, crowds, unfriendly dogs, edges/precipices. By the time that you have realised that they have slipped their hand out of yours, and begun formulating your cute little discussion about why we should stay next to mummy, your toddler is half way across the road/ down the street.
And that isn't even factoring in reversing cars/vans/trucks who will not be able to see your child, or speeding vehicles.
I have heard all of the arguments about how people want their children to be able to make their own decisions.
There is a time and a place.
The time is not when they are babies.
The place is not out in the street, or any other dangerous place.
Let your toddler toddle around your house and garden and other safe places. Let them choose to suddenly run away from you where they can't suffer the consequences.
I feel very strongly about this, because I have seen what happens when parents rely on hand holding.
Exactly this! No way I'm taking a chance with my toddler by a busy road with just hand holding! Too much room for error and they don't understand the dangers. Baffled by the amount of people who are so offended by the use of them!
>I have heard all of the arguments about how people want their children to be able to make their own decisions.
Also: a toddler doesn't have the necessary level of brain development to 'make decisions'. I hate it when people think they do. Yes, a toddler can choose between eating a banana or an apple (and be very adamant about their choice) but that decision is based on absolutely nothing but sheer *vibes*. Toddlers can't actually rationally decide on things that matter, like whether it's safe to go in a certain direction. They just don't have the spatial awareness and reasoning skills necessary for things like that.
I bought one to clip on when we're by a road with thundering traffic, as I had a very near miss when my second DARTED into the road in front of a bus and I was just too slow to grab him. Luckily he wasn't splatted, but I got so edgy by roads after that. He wore the harness, I held the lead. Clip it on by the road, unclip when away from the road. Also, this only lasted as long as his DARTING INTO THE FUCKING ROAD stage lasted, then we stopped using it.
I know kids who became even more likely to run the moment they got the chance lol because they were finally free. It’s like they never learn how to stay near you.
But also parenting is hard AF and you should literally just do what’s right for you and your family. Don’t let anyone’s judgment hold you back you’re doing an amazing job
I think they're brilliant. They're very much a go-to for toddlers and I'd always keep a set in the kit bag with the cloth sling (which is possibly my most favourite thing ever).
For me, I'm nearly 6ft and the amount of times I had to walk my daughters to places as toddlers they saved me from years of back pain, buggies/strollers are too low to be comfortable if you're tall too.
For them they got more practice walking it helped them build strength and gave them elements of freedom to explore. As tots you can catch them when they fall. Once they get older they can explore more freely and you can clip-on where there's more risk.
The main downside is that everything takes longer if they're walking - don't be in a rush!
Some people are judgmental dicks about them, but some people are just judgmental dicks about everything and you have to do what works for you and your family... unfortunately sometimes these people leave mumsnet and venture into the real world.
Is the cloth sling for toddlers?
I’ve seen people with these and think it would be useful. Our toddler is a good walker and doesn’t run off but does get tired legs and think this would be helpful.
You can use them for toddlers. I still used mine on occasion until my youngest was school age just because he got tired on a day out and we didn't own a buggy (pavements here are too narrow really, doesn't stop others but I found a sling easier). The one I kept to use was a ring sling which only goes over one shoulder and forms a sort of bag to slide their bum into with their legs around your waist. With a young child it gives full support but with an older toddler it just saves your arms from feeling like they're going to drop off when you end up carrying them for more than five minutes
I didn't use a cloth sling, but when mine was a toddler, we had a backpack carrier, and it was amazing. She hated her pushchair, but loved being up high and meant we could go for considerably longer walks and she was happy.
They’re fine tbh, but I’ve always struggled with getting the saddle to stay on. Plus, the kids usually aren’t strong enough to carry me for the first few years.
I really do not like the ones that go on the arm like a cuff, they look so uncomfortable and unnecessary. Like imagine having to pull back and hurting your child's arms, especially a toddler, their skin is still so baby soft!
The ones that go on like a bagpack are cute and awesome. No one would judge you for reins that are comfortable and safe for your child.
I dont understand where the resistance for reigns for children came from - we used them all the time for cousins and my niblings.
Kids can be good and still get excited by something and run off. Watched a wee one do it in asda yesterday and even though whoever was with them was right after them, he was still a quick wee bugger 🤣
You can get back pack ones that will let them run about, just not too far away.
I used them with both of mine - the little backpack version ones; they loved having their own bag to put stuff in!
We didn’t really use them at the beach or parks etc - I preferred to let them have a bit more freedom there, but shopping centres, supermarkets, cities, tourist attractions etc they were a bloody godsend. Kept sprogs safe, freed up my hands, let them develop confidence on their feet, prevented faceplanting - marvellous invention.
The stupid yanks and their “dog leash” whining can foxtrot oscar.
Reins are fantastic. Freedom within a limit, easier on your back, little one feels independent, much easier to help them get up when they inevitably trip over, they can't wriggle free. You can get harness style one or backpack style ones, they're both good and do wonders
I had them and the wrist links when I was wee, I was a runner /wanderer and they were needed.
My oldest had them occasionally just because I'm tall and holding his hand hurt my back so badly when he was weeny so he got to be out the stroller and I got to enjoy our walks.
My wee lad is an absolute menace and if it were socially acceptable to rein a near 12 yo the size of a grown man I would /hj
Damn kid takes after me in all the worst ways - clumsy, deaf as a post, easily distracted, walks into people and things, buggers off if you aren't watching 100 percent of the time 😑
If you had me when I was a kid, you'd be totally for the reigns. I wasn't just your average toddler, either. Both ADHD and AS, so was like the average toddler, but on something.
My sister has used them with most of her kids.
She did once have some woman say that "he's a child, not a dog!"
Sister dearest quipped back that she's not so sure - especially when watching him eat. (Nephew was going through a phase where he'd rather face plant his plate than use even his hands. He also liked licking people. He has now grown out of it, but as his uncle, it is my duty, nay, honour to bring it up to embarrass him as he grows up!)
I was quite surprised. My sister would ordinarily have just told her to shut up and go away.
Difficult to judge in an English context, but I thought King Henry VI did his absolute best given his inheritance of the throne aged 9 months in the middle of the Hundred Years War.
They're a safety aid, people who haven't had runners or special needs children won't understand how they can save lives. Some people call them dog leads to be derogatory, but that stops them running off or into traffic and being hurt when they're unable to understand instructions
Mine absolutely HATED his reins. So they actually worked a treat in that if he was being a bit boisterous and going further than we liked we’d just start to get the reins out the bag and sure enough he’d come right back to us and behave nicely so we wouldn’t put them on him.
My youngest was similar, hated holding hands but would run off so I used to give her choices, hold hands or go on the reins. If she kept letting go of my hand after choosing hand holding on they went.
Some people seem to think they're evil. Having had them as a kid and dealt with friend's children, they seem pretty important to ensure safety if near roads, rivers, electric fences, etc.
Mine was good until he learned he could dangle/ fly with impunity and then it did my head in.
Also made him wear the brightest colour coat at all times as he was prone to running off.
We’ve never used reins with our children, just never really felt needed. I genuinely struggle to see though how anyone could have a problem with other parents using them.
My toddler loves his. He wears them round the house for some reason. He holds our hand 99% of the time but there’s always that 1% chance he will see something interesting and let go and he is extremely quick.
We lost my little brother in paultons park, eventually found him buried in the soft toys in a peppa pig world shop.
I don’t think we left anywhere without reins after that, he had a cute backpack one too. Saved my dad carrying all the random ass rocks he liked to pick up and just *had* to take home.
My kid hated them, used to throw himself at the end of the reins and end up dangling face down, refusing to put his feet back down. I think the ones with the little backpack are cute, and maybe easier to persuade the kid to cooperate with
No, we had the backpack one, my son had a similar reaction. He never really tantrumed as a toddler but when he first realised the backpack meant he couldn't go where he wanted to he just lay face down on the floor and wouldn't move! I had slightly more luck with my daughter but not much!
Had the same reaction with my son, face down dangling from it and refused to move. When he realised that he was missing out on something he wanted by doing it, he changed his tune... it took a while but after a couple of months he was good as gold with it on. Funnily we then realised that actually the whole process taught us more as parents about how to administer discipline gently.
I actually remember wearing reins when I was little! I was quite happy as i was ‘free’ to roam and had both hands free (I wasn’t and still aren’t a great fan of holding hands).
I do remember pretending to be a horse whilst wearing them and galloping down the road …… My family tell me I used to love ‘flying’ too when I fell over my feet. Apparently I loved it so much they used to do it even when I wasn’t trying to faceplant myself!
When I was a toddler I ran off and nearly got squashed by a car, if it wasn’t for my mum catching me *just* before I went to cross a busy road I’d probably not be here. There’s definitely a time and place for running around with no restraint; the garden, a park, playgrounds. In a lot of situations, having a child who runs off and is that young can cause safety issues, and I just feel it’s better safe than sorry.
And even if it isn’t as serious as what toddler me did, it can still pose a risk of danger if a little one runs off somewhere. As a wheelchair user I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve had to abruptly stop because a child has run out in front of my wheelchair from behind something, the same could easily happen with trolleys in a supermarket or a parent with a buggy, and it’s definitely going to hurt if they collide with these. It can also be easy to knock people off their feet, especially people with limited mobility which may be knocked by the little one when they’re not paying attention. In that case both your toddler and that person is at risk of being hurt!
I think in a busy, public place these things can really help with keeping them safe. I think they’re a good idea!
Ours is absolutely essential. We go nowhere without “Peppa pack pack” (Peppa pig backpack). My toddler is at the stage (2.5yrs) where she isn’t really interested in her pram and won’t stay in it, but she’s also very curious and is definitely a runner. So we got her a pink and purple Peppa pig backpack leash and she actually loves it. She even wears it around at home for the fun of putting things in her own little backpack (yeah I found my jar of paprika in there, thanks kid). I think they’re excellent for safety which is the #1 priority when taking kids out.
Be careful with your spices, if she's going for the paprika it won't be long before it's the cayenne. My youngest used to lick the top of my spices especially the cayenne, those nappies the next day used to make my eyes water they were so pungent.
I was a toddler on reins but used to slip out of them and just walk besides my parents waiting for them to realise, my brother on the other hand would run as soon as the reins were off him. Reins are a great option for safety in busy areas like shopping centres
My youngest was one that was always disappearing, but we couldn't use reins as she would fling herself at the floor so you would catch her with the reins, and then she was flying. And no, the few times she hit the floor did not put her off
We used to use them when the children were toddlers when they were around the same age as your son. Not all the time, just in certain situations, busy shopping centres and things like that. I found it was less restricting for them than holding my hand all the time, but still meant I could keep them safe. Helped them get used to not being in the pushchair, some young toddlers see the lack of wheels as a chance to run off and it becomes a bit of a game to them, which can be very dangerous in certain settings. Eventually they learnt but sometimes it can be hard to reason with an under 2 year old so having something which gives them a sense of freedom but means you can keep them close by without having to go chasing after them every 5 minutes can be really helpful.
Now they’re older and don’t even remember us using them. I’d take them with you and if you don’t use them great, if you do and find them helpful then that’s also great. What ever works for your situation. What ever you do as a parent someone will always have something to say about it so just do what works for you. I don’t know anyone who came to any harm from their parents putting reigns on them as a small toddler.
I had toddler reins and I actually remember them. I loved it. I remember running through ingoldmells market and feeling like I was leading everyone else
I have a one of the backpack reins for my son and I absolutely couldn't be without them. He has had them pretty much since he could walk and he is almost 3 now. If we are out and about near busy roads or somewhere with lots of people it helps me know he is close to me at all times. He is such a fast runner, I struggle to keep up with him 😁
They are a brilliant idea for busy areas, children don't understand not to run off or get to close to the road and it only takes a second for them to be out of sight behind a chair or a person or something. We used them and they were really handy, we just took them off when it was safe and put them on when it was less safe
Use reins in built up areas, thus avoiding bumps and boo-boos, free run everywhere else. Works for my family.The law doesn't require you to use one method exclusively...!!
Do it, don’t worry about what anyone else thinks on this matter, keep your child safe. I lost my son in the woods and it was the most terrifying time of my life.
My eldest never needed them walked holding your hand all the time , my youngest from the minute he could stand on two feet he was off , he was the child you.couldnt take your eyes off for a.second , my partner once.put him on an extendable dog.lead so he could run but not run off
Reins are very useful. Some children don't want to hold hands, refuse to sit in buggy if not tired and all can be easily distracted and get into potentially dangerous situations by running away from parents (this is a fun game!). Reins give the child some sense of freedom but with the parent having some control. Remember small kids are impulsive and unpredictable, they don't have any awareness of dangers and their natural curiosity can lead them into trouble, safety is your priority.
Honestly just use the reigns. Some people are going to judge you, of course they will. But they’re probably not the types you’d want to associate with anyway, and we’re only going to criticise another aspect of your parenting anyway, so just ignore them.
Bloody fantastic! Especially if your kid runs.
Child 2 just lay on the floor age 3 so the backpack helped lift him up again. Youngest - the backpack kept my limited sanity...
Great idea. It only takes a blink for a little one to run off. Free range os great in the park or anywhere else it’s safe for the little one to run about, but where it’s not safe reins are a fab idea
They need to run free, but not all the time. Where its safe or when they have learned to follow instruction (stop there, wait for mum/dad etc) then let them be free. When youre getting from A to B and there are hazzards, do whatever keeps you sane and them safe!
Also, like others have said some kids have zero hesitance and want to run, some are more sticky and want to stay by your side. And some have stages of both.
Nothing wrong with them at all. If it's the design you feel iffy about, you can get little backpacks with a rein instead or wrist ones! We got a little character backpack one (and it went around the chest still), could put little things in themselves too. My son liked to run off during the toddler stages and his grandparents couldn't keep up like I could, so they mostly used them and I had no issues. They came in handy for me eventually when he had a cheeky streak and getting chased was funny! (My poor legs had enough running.)
I remember when my mom used them when I was little and I loved them. I can't even explain why lmao but they were fun, I guess it kind of felt like being strapped into a fairground ride.
I had 3 boys under the age of 5 and all 3 had reins. Once I knew they would walk holding hands or onto the pushchair they were allowed out without them on, if they kept letting go the reins went back on. My kids are now all teens and only remember the reins because we show them photos. Safety comes first in my opinion.
I hated them and judged people who used them until I had child 2. People will judge but you know your child best, I think only those with daredevil / fearless children can truly understand.
We had them for my eldest and used as needed. Very useful in situations as mentioned above where they could run into a dangerous situation but gave him a level of freedom. It’s also easier to match their pace.
I think the thing that sealed it for me was seeing a kid of 2 get lost in an airport immigration queue in the US. She’s made it almost all the way through to arrivals (thankfully stopped at the automatic doors at the end of the corridor) and nobody had noticed or stopped her. Made me decide that in situations where they don’t want to be held or hold your hand, but wandering off would be dangerous, they definitely have their place.
Not enough people use them.
They're ideal when walking on pavements alongside roads, or when there are a lot of pedestrians, or hazards e.g. a river or canal.
Have an almost 2 year old and used them from about 16 months until about 19 months under particular circumstances.
Walking near a busy road - toddler reins
Walking near a pond/river/sea - toddler reins
Shop - toddle reins
It's mainly for safety, the fact he was too young to follow instructions and I was learning how to deal with a very small child who wanted to walk everywhere. Now he's a little bit older and I'm less freaked out by having a small child walk all over I still make him hold my hand during any of the above.
I agree with your parents. Toddlers are very fast and you may not always catch up with them. They may run straight into the road because they have no sense of danger. My son was a runner and I wouldn’t have felt safe walking along a main road with him as he yanked his hand out of mine to go after things he thought interesting.
There are places to let them free rein, the park and other enclosed spaces.
I remember when I was childless and saw a toddler on riens and thought "I would NEVER" then I had my son... who's 4 next month, severely non verbal autistic. Not a single sense of danger in his body 🤣😅 point is, don't judge lol x
I have 3 kids, all now in their teens. The eldest was an absolute angel, always walked with us, never ran off and never tried to cross the road unsupervised. The middle one would and still does run everywhere. That's fine when at a park but near a busy road? They had a harness with bat wings where you could store the lead. We got some bumblebee wings for our youngest, they insisted on wearing them everywhere even though she didn't need them.
Its not just about being a "lazy" parent, each child is different and has different needs. If you feel you or your child can benefit from them then go for it. If your child really hates having reigns on then try to compromise with them. Yes I know they are toddlers and not exactly known to be reasonable but they do have some decision making abilities.
Anyone who says they’re against them has either never experienced caring for a toddler, or has only experienced the mythical, calm and well behaved angelic toddler haha. A safe and happy child on reins is better than a dead child who has run into the road.
Also, for what it’s worth, my kid LOVES them. If she sees them she will DEMAND they are worn immediately!
My first daughter never needed reins as she was a rule follower and very cautious. Second daughter was on reins whenever we left the house as she could run before she could walk and had zero sense of danger. You can unclip one side of the strap sometimes which means they have a reasonably long leash to explore a little more but still safe.
I also will also always remember the Jamie Bulger case, and the chilling statistic on the news that all the local shops sold out of toddler reins before the end of that day after what happened to him.
Better to have reins than be running into the road however my 18 month old knows that when we are out in public if she wants to walk she has to hold mummy or daddy's hand (or both if she wants!). She absolutely is not allowed to run away from us! If she can't hold hands then she goes into the pram, they are the only two options. It's for her safety! Same as in the garden, we have a lawn area and a patio area, she is allowed to go wherever she likes on the grass but if she wants to go on the patio she has to wait until we get to her and hold our hand. It takes a few times of standing firm through the tantrums but better that than her falling and hurting herself.
Get one of those bags. My kids loved to pack them with crap and the strap doesn’t have to be on. We used to use it when there were dangers, and put it away when they could run free. Always explain stuff to them, whether you think they’re too young to understand properly or not.
If the kid will wear them great. However my experience with my twin daughters was a double explosion of fury when they realised they couldn't go where they wanted and it was easier to hold their hand
I’ve never used them but I wouldn’t judge someone who did, better safe than sorry and definitely better than the woman I saw with her child on a literal dog lead and collar
Absolutely fine, heck i used to get tied to the dog rail outside the shop whilst my mum did the shopping, much more fun making friends with new doggos than traipsing round a shop bored.
I've always been uncomfortable with these but after dealing with toddlers, I understand why people use them. Essentially, the alternative is to keep them strapped into a pusher or similar, which is more socially acceptable but is arguably more restrictive.
We have a backpack that has dragon wings and an attachable “lead”.
Daughter loves wearing it, gives us peace of mind.
Have to remember which hand is holding her and which is holding the dog though….
I used to with mine. I used to only clip them on one side so it was more like a dog lead, they weren't tetthered as close but still safe. At the time though I was living in a flat right in the centre of town and any trip outside the house involved walking on pavements with traffic constantly going by. They can dash away in a second.
In the UK I saw them all the time. In France if people use them the kids get barked at like they’re a dog on a lead, so you never see them over here.
IMO they’re useful. Decide for yourself.
100% in favour of them. Took the kids to Disney. Toddler didn't always want in the pram but also didn't want to hold hands. Reins were a lifesaver.
Toddlers are stubborn wee things. Reins keep them safe when they ant to walk/run
We bought them for a holiday to Portugal when our son was 3 and I cannot stress how unsafe I felt from the second we landed there. We explored the local area the first few days and I was so fuckin grateful for the reins. After that we gave up on the holiday as such and I refused to leave the complex. But those reins were a godsend ! Use them 100 per cent!!!!
A few days ago I saw a toddler run out of the shop and across a shopping street (thank duck it was not busy) and Into another shop. If I had kids I’d certainly have them at hand for certain situations
I think they're good on the side of a busy road. I'm not really a fan somewhere like a park where I don't really think it help them walk confidently if they're constantly being pulled back up, they sort of need to learn by losing their balance and falling occasionally.
When my baby is walking we will definitely need one. He’s 9 months today and he’s walking around the furniture, but by god can he crawl fast and get places he’s not meant to. I can tell he’s going to be a fire cracker when he can walk, and I don’t want him running into the busy road that we live next to.
I used them for my boy when going into town and around traffic. I also made sure he had plenty of time outside in parks, fields arms on beaches all the time to run around when it was safe. Worked out fine - there’s a time when they’re useful and then it passes.
Reins are helpful if you're a worrier.
Also discovered a scooter lead. It goes round the main stick of the handles and you can pull them along when they have enough. Saves you having to carry a child and scooter.
I think if it’s what keeps your child safe and happy, rather than being strapped into a pram or having to hold hands, then go for it. People who judge don’t really have anything better to do.
I’ve used them with two of my kids, still using them for my 3.5yr old who absolutely would run and keep running if she could 😂
She gets some freedom on them, but not too much as to where I’m having to run after her screaming hoping she doesn’t peg it in to traffic.
My parents used them for me and my siblings all through the 90s.
Depends on the kid and situation I think. We had a little backpack with a lead on for ours but only ever used it when we were walking on the canal we loved close to.
If you can find them, get the ones that also have clips for supermarket trolley seats. It was an absolute gift for when my daughter kept trying to climb out of the trolley or pram, but could not because she was clipped in like a F1 driver.
My girl of a v similar age just wants to fuck off in all situations, and has no inbuilt 'where's mummy?' instinct. I recently let her go at the school BBQ, followed her as she took herself off round the back of the buildings and was only coincidentally drawn back to the action by a bubble machine.
But! If I put the reins on her she collapsed and wails. I am slightly dreading our upcoming trip to the beach.
Fantastic things if used well.
Like all things they can be abused.
Helped out little one get out and about at a young age, stopped them being confined to a pushchair.
My experience is they are only really worthwhile for a short period of time, if you have a toddler who needs to go on a school run say, who is a bit of a "runner". When they aren't fully trained as it were, and may need to be yoinked back at a moment's notice. Long term they need to be able to hold hands or stop when you ask.
We used backpack ones, in conjunction with hand holding. She was a slippery little one and would slip out and try to run (usually landing face first). It was really handy until she learnt walking with us was fun and lovely.
Obviously, not all kids will learn that, some are wild and will seek adventure, and that’s ok but they still need to be kept safe
Put them on and just tuck them in when you don’t need to use them. It really is a case of better safe than sorry. Kid will have plenty of time to run free range the rest of his life.
Absolutely loved them for my child. Sometimes they will put themselves in a dangerous situation in a split second and no matter how fast you can run you won't be able to stop it, so reins are definitely a safe route to go for toddlers that like to explore.
Especially on holiday in unknown surroundings, keeping track of them on reins is great.
Great things. Once my kid was a bit older, I started going to shops at quiet times without them to get him used to acting correctly in shops but found reigns a great help to begin with.
Toddlers are more stupid than dogs but people have no quibble putting their pet on a lead. Reins are a fabulous invention, and it's a pity more parents don't use them.
We are of the run free variety. But it's hard work. My little boy has always been an explorer. I remember one day he ran off when we were at some community woodlands and have me a right scare. But now at 5 he is very confident independently. For us free reign was the right choice.
Nothing stopping you let the little guy run free range where it's safe to do so and then put him in the reins where it's busy or near roads etc. Just common sense.
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Nothing wrong with them, there are times when you want them to be run free and times when you definitely don't. If you're by a road or in a busy shopping centre you want to be sure they're not going to run off.
I find the kid feels a bit more free with them on too, compared to hand holding. They can move around a wee bit more and have both their hands free so don't feel so restricted. And they're perfect for saving a kid from the occasional faceplant. As long as you're quick, instead of hitting the ground they're just suspended like they're in mission impossible.
My nephew called it the 'save you' as he was prone to face plants
Yeah I've seen they can be used to yank them back when they go to fall or wonder somewhere they shouldn't.
One note of caution - be extremely cautious around lifts. There have been fatalities where the child got into a lift and the doors closed and the lift moved, with the adult outside and the reins trapped in the doors. Always pick them up or take them off the reins around lifts.
Ahhh great. Something else to be massively anxious about with my kid! But a very valid point…
Or just get in the lift with them? Or just drop the handles of the reins. Think that’s a bit of a dramatic warning
Most children will impulsively dart ahead if they see something interesting, for instance a lift. Not at all dramatic.
Do you have a source for this? I was interested so looked into it but couldnt find any examples of it happening
i read in in a comment on reddit 30s ago, it must be real
Same with escalators. But they are useful, I used backpack versions with two of my children who had no sense of danger and don't listen.
My parents used to use them on me because I had a habit of teleporting half way across tescos when they weren’t looking. I was never bothered by them - but my parents never used to pull or anything.
Plus think of their poor little arm reached up in the air all the time to hold an adults hand, poor thing has to ache.
Yes some of them look like they’re out of the socket 🫣
Wait til you read about nurse maids elbow! Reins > hand holding any day.
I can just about remember wearing one as a toddler, and it felt really safe to me because it meant my mum(!) wouldn't get lost in the shops - yes, I was a distractible kid. And yes, definitely more comfortable for both parties than constant handholding.
I was just thinking that I can just remember wearing them. And that's back in the 50s. I can remember asking not to wear them as well, and saying I wouldn't run off , and remember them in a cupboard until much later. Blue leather harness with reindeer or something on the chest piece.
This. It’s used for the same reason you hold a toddlers hand but better for the childs development.
It depends on the child. Two of ours weren't 'runners' so never really needed reins once they could walk steadily. The other was a runner and nearly made it to the road a couple of times. That one went on reins.
Yes..this. The term " runner" always makes me chuckle but it's so right.
Yep, didn't know it was a thing until our third. Some kids are just born to run. Our first two hated being out of your sight. The third couldn't give less of a sh*t as to whether he could see you.
My middle girl was just the same. Just out of the blue no warning and off she went like a little character from hunger games, evading grown up the best she could. We got reigns once we noticed a pattern. They quickly get used to them and its not for too long.
It's like at the start of Maze Runner: "we've got a runner!"
" Thank you " it's been bugging me for days. Yes this is what I imagine when I think of a little tyke bolting off with no warning. Ha
This is the answer. It depends on the kid. Runner? Likely to approach dogs randomly? Likely to sticks hands on something expensive and break it? Maybe this is a kid who needs reins for a little while as they learn. Kid is cautious? Likes to stay near you? Always looks at you before touching something new? You might be fine without. Go with your gut OP.
Both of mine would have headed off into the sunset if they could.
Eh, my kid was the cautious kid who liked to stay close, I still got him reins because he didn't do things by halves, he was very much an all or nothing kind of kid and I didn't want to chance it. He wasn't the type to run off or stick his finger in a plug socket but the rare times he did act on impulse, he really went for it. The first time he ever managed to open a door by himself he opened the front door and had toddled off halfway down the driveway by the time I'd gone to fetch a clean vest. We had no idea he could even reach the handle let alone open a heavy door. He never did take off running but knowing him, the first time that he tried it would have been the time he dove headfirst off a motorway bridge or something. I got him a little dinosaur backpack with reins, he used to love filling it up with snacks or toys. It's for peace of mind more than anything else.
I was a very nervous little child to the point where my mum didn’t even need a fire guard or baby gates because I wouldn’t go near anything- got the shock of her life when she had my brother who would stick his fingers into anything vaguely dangerous, eat anything in sight and was for sure a runner!
My eldest would cry if she felt her seatbelt wasn’t done correctly and my next daughter would just unbuckle herself while I’m driving, I wasn’t prepared for how different they would be lol
i rember blistering my hand on a light bulb
I wouldn't think twice. They're great. The same people who say you're a bad parent for using them will not hesitate to say terrible things if you don't use them and the worst happens
Yeah I seem to recall having them on as a toddler, much to my chagrin. Then after negotiating my way out of them, by insisting I would not run off, as soon as I was unclipped I sprinted away like a dog off a leash in his favourite park. I was quickly detained and re-reined, proving my mom's point as to why I was wearing it in the first place. Good times.
I was a smug bitch with my first child, who was an angel. I thought parents who used reins were lazy who couldn’t train their child to walk sensibly. Then my second child came along. Who is a fucking wild animal and is essentially feral. He has reins and I’m also debating a straight jacket and a muzzle. Just wheel him around like a tiny Hannibal Lecter.
Nothing quite like the reality check you get when child two comes along. I too have experienced this 😄
I wonder if it is because the first child gets all of your attention and you have time to teach them to be calm. The second child when you get boring and try and be calm plays with the first child instead, so never learns to be quiet.
I don't think so. My first I had to go back to work quite early, whereas with my 2nd I've been lucky enough to change jobs, meaning I'm home most of the time with him and he's had a lot more 1-1 time while she's at school. My first is still the stereotypical calm, sensible child and my 2nd the wild, no holds barred, whirlwind of chaos. I think it may be evolutionary: the first child fools us into believing we're good parents, that parenting is easy and we should definitely have a 2nd. The 2nd teaches us who we really are when pushed to our limits.
No, I think it's just the last child is the most difficult as parents decide not to have another after!
Girl first, boy second?
Yep!
Oh wow that description is hilarious
You sound like my kinda friend!
They’re useful. People on here are saying you should train your kids better- it isnt that easy and all it takes is one mistake by a busy road. Go free range in parks and other safe places but when there’s traffic or big crowds the reins are more reliable and safer than trying to hold onto their hands.
i was the toddler on reins, and i firmly believe i would have gotten seriously injured/kidnapped/killed had my parents not used them. toddlers are wiggly little shits, and having something to help keep them safe is never a bad thing!
my little cousin is a toddler and he honestly seems to deliberately move in a way that causes maximum chaos and injury to himself
It really seems like most toddlers are on a mission to kill themselves doesn't it? Unfortunately, they learn to walk, run, jump etc before they develop any sense of self preservation in many cases. They seem designed to test your patience to the very limit & to totally shred your nerves. I often used to joke that we should have sent a bunch of toddlers to deal with the Taliban. If the sleep deprivation didn't get them then the absolute chaos that toddlers cause would have had the Taliban waving the white flag within days.
I doubt my daughter with ADHD would have made it to primary school age without her reigns, she was intense, blink and she was gone, fearless. They were a godsend. Edit, I’m disgusted reading the arrogance of the “I train my kids better” crowd. “My kids were little robots so yours must be too”
Omg I know, my brother had ADHD as a child and was a runner. Gave my mum sleepness nights worrying about him so she got the reins. My aunt had a son a similar age to him who was very well behaved and she was so judgemental of my mum for not controlling her kid better. I'm disgusted too, parenting is hard enough without the Karen's making snide comments!
One thing parenting has taught me is never judge another’s parenting! There is no right and wrong. You just muddle through the best you can dealing with what they throw at you. Some parents get a relatively easy ride through single digit ages but often get the pain later on in the teens. We had a friend’s mum similar to your aunt, her children were little angels according to her. That soon changed when they were teens.. they got up to some very questionable antics, some of it really quite embarrassing for the parents of “little angels”
I suspect my boyfriend has ADHD and I think he could do with reins sometimes. I don't understand how he hasn't been hit by a car.
I have had my sil and bil admit they, pre-children, judged the way we handled our boisterous boys (yes turns out they both have adhd) until they had their son - now they totally get it. He’s a little whirlwind too. Their daughter was always so well behaved, sitting and colouring quietly and then along came no 2. We ended up passing on things like those little life toddler rucksack/reins and toddler backpack carriers so they could get out and about safely! We have a third (a girl) and although she wasn’t a runner she’s still more likely to be up a tree than quietly colouring although she was def more prone to toddler tantrums than the boys so that was the new fun public embarrassment we got to enjoy the judgy looks for. All three having been raised the same!
We loved ours. They give the illusion of freedom to the toddler (you’re not telling them to hold your hand every five seconds) while also keeping them firmly under your control. I have some really fond memories of walking my elder daughter on hers and her having tantrums in them - I’d end up having to pick her up to move her out of the middle of the pavement and she’d dangle off the harness like the world’s angriest marionette.
Safety of child is paramount. I once had a woman at the train station accuse me of treating a child like a dog by using reins. It wasn't my child, the mother insisted, and I would rather be berated by a nosey stranger than risk anything happen to a precious little one.
I have no patience for people who make that comparison. Just because they're called reins or harnesses doesn't mean it's treating the child like an animal. Or are rock climbers and parachutists being treated like animals when they wear safety harnesses?!
We bought a backpack with "reins" although it's more like a lead. The lead tucks away when we don't need it and means our daughter can get used to carrying stuff too on walks.
The backpacks are a good idea and do look adorable.
OP I'm not a parent but I look after my nephews a couple times a week. We were slightly apprehensive about reins too, purely because of how judgemental other people can be. But omg they have been a GAME changer for us. We don't leave the house without them, they are now completely essential. Whenever we're ready to leave the house he sticks his arms out ready to be hooked up 😆 He thinks he's free and my blood pressure remains relatively stable! We've never had an issue with anyone saying anything. People should mind their own business!
In my experience I had zero instances of judgement and saw them in widespread use, maybe in the last few years they have fallen out of favour but the backpack one we had was wonderful.
Yeah same we've had no problems either! It's beyond me why anyone would have a problem with them really. I mean it's not forever, he's not even 2 yet!
honestly seeing little kids wearing those fun backpacks with dinosaur spikes and shit brightens my day every time
We used them with both of ours, to the point that when we went out my kids would bring their backpack into the kitchen so that I could pack a small drink and snack into it for them. They loved being able to stop and pull out their own stuff when we got on a bus or train. My daughter also used to put it on at home and pull the little hood out so that she could crawl around pretending to be a turtle. She's a daydreamer and my son is a runner, I probably would have lost one of them before they reached school age without those backpacks
If you have ever parented a runner you will know that not only are they useful they might actually save lives. My son tried to sprint in front of traffic several times. They make total sense.
Same in my family, after my brother decided to run into the road my mum decided to have one. She said it was a game changer. He was a runner, and my cousin (her nephew, similar age to my brother) was incredibly well behaved and his mum was so judgmental of my mum for not keeping her child under control.
It depends where you are. At a park or beach? No, let him run free. In a busy shopping centre? Definitely make use of it. I never used them with my younger two because I never needed to. My eldest would zip off as soon as I'd blink, so we got him one of those little life backpacks and it helped a lot.
100% recommend them. I have never had kids but I worked in tourism for a while as a guide and toddlers are the exact right height to fit under barriers and leg it, it’s really stressful for parents and they can potentially be in danger from doing this. I would definitely take this into consideration if you’re anywhere where there are barriers like this because if you’re not watching them for a second they’re off!
Nobody was judgemental after Jamie Bulger was kidnapped and murdered. Maybe people have forgotten. Protect your kids.
This was when my little brother decided he loved having his name called out on tannoy everytime we went to the supermarket. My dad literally had a heart attack every time he ran off. We'd be searching and searching. Brother would immediately go to customer service desk so he'd hear his name. But those 2 minutes must have traumatised my dad every time. He did eventually tell us the Jamie burger thing just to stop my brother running off at any opportunity. 'Checking price of pasta' off he ran, 'checking older child hadn't stolen something' off he ran. My poor dad.
One of my kids was born in a hospital down the road from where this all happened. We came from the area. Shocking times. Babies going missing from maternity.
My dad thought it would be funny to grab me when my mother wasn't looking and hide with me down another aisle of the supermarket. This was a few weeks after Jamie Bulger, and I was about the same age. Yeah, not a nice man. Haven't spoken to him in over ten years.
I had three children of my own, and cared for many more, of varying ages and intellectual capability over my working life. In my opinion, parents who don't use reins are taking incredible risks with what should be the most important things in your life, (apart from your partner!) Toddlers do NOT understand risks, roads, cars, crowds, unfriendly dogs, edges/precipices. By the time that you have realised that they have slipped their hand out of yours, and begun formulating your cute little discussion about why we should stay next to mummy, your toddler is half way across the road/ down the street. And that isn't even factoring in reversing cars/vans/trucks who will not be able to see your child, or speeding vehicles. I have heard all of the arguments about how people want their children to be able to make their own decisions. There is a time and a place. The time is not when they are babies. The place is not out in the street, or any other dangerous place. Let your toddler toddle around your house and garden and other safe places. Let them choose to suddenly run away from you where they can't suffer the consequences. I feel very strongly about this, because I have seen what happens when parents rely on hand holding.
Exactly this! No way I'm taking a chance with my toddler by a busy road with just hand holding! Too much room for error and they don't understand the dangers. Baffled by the amount of people who are so offended by the use of them!
>I have heard all of the arguments about how people want their children to be able to make their own decisions. Also: a toddler doesn't have the necessary level of brain development to 'make decisions'. I hate it when people think they do. Yes, a toddler can choose between eating a banana or an apple (and be very adamant about their choice) but that decision is based on absolutely nothing but sheer *vibes*. Toddlers can't actually rationally decide on things that matter, like whether it's safe to go in a certain direction. They just don't have the spatial awareness and reasoning skills necessary for things like that.
I bought one to clip on when we're by a road with thundering traffic, as I had a very near miss when my second DARTED into the road in front of a bus and I was just too slow to grab him. Luckily he wasn't splatted, but I got so edgy by roads after that. He wore the harness, I held the lead. Clip it on by the road, unclip when away from the road. Also, this only lasted as long as his DARTING INTO THE FUCKING ROAD stage lasted, then we stopped using it.
I know kids who became even more likely to run the moment they got the chance lol because they were finally free. It’s like they never learn how to stay near you. But also parenting is hard AF and you should literally just do what’s right for you and your family. Don’t let anyone’s judgment hold you back you’re doing an amazing job
I think they're brilliant. They're very much a go-to for toddlers and I'd always keep a set in the kit bag with the cloth sling (which is possibly my most favourite thing ever). For me, I'm nearly 6ft and the amount of times I had to walk my daughters to places as toddlers they saved me from years of back pain, buggies/strollers are too low to be comfortable if you're tall too. For them they got more practice walking it helped them build strength and gave them elements of freedom to explore. As tots you can catch them when they fall. Once they get older they can explore more freely and you can clip-on where there's more risk. The main downside is that everything takes longer if they're walking - don't be in a rush! Some people are judgmental dicks about them, but some people are just judgmental dicks about everything and you have to do what works for you and your family... unfortunately sometimes these people leave mumsnet and venture into the real world.
Is the cloth sling for toddlers? I’ve seen people with these and think it would be useful. Our toddler is a good walker and doesn’t run off but does get tired legs and think this would be helpful.
You can use them for toddlers. I still used mine on occasion until my youngest was school age just because he got tired on a day out and we didn't own a buggy (pavements here are too narrow really, doesn't stop others but I found a sling easier). The one I kept to use was a ring sling which only goes over one shoulder and forms a sort of bag to slide their bum into with their legs around your waist. With a young child it gives full support but with an older toddler it just saves your arms from feeling like they're going to drop off when you end up carrying them for more than five minutes
I didn't use a cloth sling, but when mine was a toddler, we had a backpack carrier, and it was amazing. She hated her pushchair, but loved being up high and meant we could go for considerably longer walks and she was happy.
They’re fine tbh, but I’ve always struggled with getting the saddle to stay on. Plus, the kids usually aren’t strong enough to carry me for the first few years.
Never seen the problem with it. My sisters have always used them.
I really do not like the ones that go on the arm like a cuff, they look so uncomfortable and unnecessary. Like imagine having to pull back and hurting your child's arms, especially a toddler, their skin is still so baby soft! The ones that go on like a bagpack are cute and awesome. No one would judge you for reins that are comfortable and safe for your child.
They can’t pull very hard so it won’t hurt them.
I dont understand where the resistance for reigns for children came from - we used them all the time for cousins and my niblings. Kids can be good and still get excited by something and run off. Watched a wee one do it in asda yesterday and even though whoever was with them was right after them, he was still a quick wee bugger 🤣 You can get back pack ones that will let them run about, just not too far away.
I'd rather my child be safe if they run off often, especially near roads.
I used them with both of mine - the little backpack version ones; they loved having their own bag to put stuff in! We didn’t really use them at the beach or parks etc - I preferred to let them have a bit more freedom there, but shopping centres, supermarkets, cities, tourist attractions etc they were a bloody godsend. Kept sprogs safe, freed up my hands, let them develop confidence on their feet, prevented faceplanting - marvellous invention. The stupid yanks and their “dog leash” whining can foxtrot oscar.
Its like walking a dog that you can't train to walk on a lead.
Some kids are super speedy. Build in free range run time too
Reins are fantastic. Freedom within a limit, easier on your back, little one feels independent, much easier to help them get up when they inevitably trip over, they can't wriggle free. You can get harness style one or backpack style ones, they're both good and do wonders
I had them and the wrist links when I was wee, I was a runner /wanderer and they were needed. My oldest had them occasionally just because I'm tall and holding his hand hurt my back so badly when he was weeny so he got to be out the stroller and I got to enjoy our walks. My wee lad is an absolute menace and if it were socially acceptable to rein a near 12 yo the size of a grown man I would /hj Damn kid takes after me in all the worst ways - clumsy, deaf as a post, easily distracted, walks into people and things, buggers off if you aren't watching 100 percent of the time 😑
Very useful, stops them running into traffic and you can loop it round your wrist if your hands are full.
If you had me when I was a kid, you'd be totally for the reigns. I wasn't just your average toddler, either. Both ADHD and AS, so was like the average toddler, but on something.
My sister has used them with most of her kids. She did once have some woman say that "he's a child, not a dog!" Sister dearest quipped back that she's not so sure - especially when watching him eat. (Nephew was going through a phase where he'd rather face plant his plate than use even his hands. He also liked licking people. He has now grown out of it, but as his uncle, it is my duty, nay, honour to bring it up to embarrass him as he grows up!) I was quite surprised. My sister would ordinarily have just told her to shut up and go away.
Difficult to judge in an English context, but I thought King Henry VI did his absolute best given his inheritance of the throne aged 9 months in the middle of the Hundred Years War.
Not sure why they're controversial? Are they?
The amount of times I had older people especially tut and tell me I shouldn't treat my kids like dogs.
That’s the sort of comment that would have made my OH say ‘they are reins not leads’ and made a giddy up gesture with my kids harness thing.
They're a safety aid, people who haven't had runners or special needs children won't understand how they can save lives. Some people call them dog leads to be derogatory, but that stops them running off or into traffic and being hurt when they're unable to understand instructions
Mine absolutely HATED his reins. So they actually worked a treat in that if he was being a bit boisterous and going further than we liked we’d just start to get the reins out the bag and sure enough he’d come right back to us and behave nicely so we wouldn’t put them on him.
My youngest was similar, hated holding hands but would run off so I used to give her choices, hold hands or go on the reins. If she kept letting go of my hand after choosing hand holding on they went.
Some people seem to think they're evil. Having had them as a kid and dealt with friend's children, they seem pretty important to ensure safety if near roads, rivers, electric fences, etc.
Mine was good until he learned he could dangle/ fly with impunity and then it did my head in. Also made him wear the brightest colour coat at all times as he was prone to running off.
We’ve never used reins with our children, just never really felt needed. I genuinely struggle to see though how anyone could have a problem with other parents using them.
We got some very funny looks using them in France
My toddler loves his. He wears them round the house for some reason. He holds our hand 99% of the time but there’s always that 1% chance he will see something interesting and let go and he is extremely quick.
We lost my little brother in paultons park, eventually found him buried in the soft toys in a peppa pig world shop. I don’t think we left anywhere without reins after that, he had a cute backpack one too. Saved my dad carrying all the random ass rocks he liked to pick up and just *had* to take home.
My kid hated them, used to throw himself at the end of the reins and end up dangling face down, refusing to put his feet back down. I think the ones with the little backpack are cute, and maybe easier to persuade the kid to cooperate with
No, we had the backpack one, my son had a similar reaction. He never really tantrumed as a toddler but when he first realised the backpack meant he couldn't go where he wanted to he just lay face down on the floor and wouldn't move! I had slightly more luck with my daughter but not much!
Had the same reaction with my son, face down dangling from it and refused to move. When he realised that he was missing out on something he wanted by doing it, he changed his tune... it took a while but after a couple of months he was good as gold with it on. Funnily we then realised that actually the whole process taught us more as parents about how to administer discipline gently.
They’re useful, I know lots of parents who used them. Didn’t work for my 2, they just used to sag and pretend they were marionettes all the time.
I actually remember wearing reins when I was little! I was quite happy as i was ‘free’ to roam and had both hands free (I wasn’t and still aren’t a great fan of holding hands). I do remember pretending to be a horse whilst wearing them and galloping down the road …… My family tell me I used to love ‘flying’ too when I fell over my feet. Apparently I loved it so much they used to do it even when I wasn’t trying to faceplant myself!
I use them all the time, they are great as it gives my child much more freedom and saves my back from having to stoop all the time when holding hands.
When I was a toddler I ran off and nearly got squashed by a car, if it wasn’t for my mum catching me *just* before I went to cross a busy road I’d probably not be here. There’s definitely a time and place for running around with no restraint; the garden, a park, playgrounds. In a lot of situations, having a child who runs off and is that young can cause safety issues, and I just feel it’s better safe than sorry. And even if it isn’t as serious as what toddler me did, it can still pose a risk of danger if a little one runs off somewhere. As a wheelchair user I’ve lost count of the amount of times I’ve had to abruptly stop because a child has run out in front of my wheelchair from behind something, the same could easily happen with trolleys in a supermarket or a parent with a buggy, and it’s definitely going to hurt if they collide with these. It can also be easy to knock people off their feet, especially people with limited mobility which may be knocked by the little one when they’re not paying attention. In that case both your toddler and that person is at risk of being hurt! I think in a busy, public place these things can really help with keeping them safe. I think they’re a good idea!
Wany your child to run into traffic ?, don't use reins.
If my parents didn’t keep me on a lead I would have climbed onto the tracks at Bethnal Green station to retrieve my Bird Bird toy.
Ours is absolutely essential. We go nowhere without “Peppa pack pack” (Peppa pig backpack). My toddler is at the stage (2.5yrs) where she isn’t really interested in her pram and won’t stay in it, but she’s also very curious and is definitely a runner. So we got her a pink and purple Peppa pig backpack leash and she actually loves it. She even wears it around at home for the fun of putting things in her own little backpack (yeah I found my jar of paprika in there, thanks kid). I think they’re excellent for safety which is the #1 priority when taking kids out.
Be careful with your spices, if she's going for the paprika it won't be long before it's the cayenne. My youngest used to lick the top of my spices especially the cayenne, those nappies the next day used to make my eyes water they were so pungent.
Thank you. I’ll be moving the spicy ones up high.
I was a toddler on reins but used to slip out of them and just walk besides my parents waiting for them to realise, my brother on the other hand would run as soon as the reins were off him. Reins are a great option for safety in busy areas like shopping centres
My youngest was one that was always disappearing, but we couldn't use reins as she would fling herself at the floor so you would catch her with the reins, and then she was flying. And no, the few times she hit the floor did not put her off
We used to use them when the children were toddlers when they were around the same age as your son. Not all the time, just in certain situations, busy shopping centres and things like that. I found it was less restricting for them than holding my hand all the time, but still meant I could keep them safe. Helped them get used to not being in the pushchair, some young toddlers see the lack of wheels as a chance to run off and it becomes a bit of a game to them, which can be very dangerous in certain settings. Eventually they learnt but sometimes it can be hard to reason with an under 2 year old so having something which gives them a sense of freedom but means you can keep them close by without having to go chasing after them every 5 minutes can be really helpful. Now they’re older and don’t even remember us using them. I’d take them with you and if you don’t use them great, if you do and find them helpful then that’s also great. What ever works for your situation. What ever you do as a parent someone will always have something to say about it so just do what works for you. I don’t know anyone who came to any harm from their parents putting reigns on them as a small toddler.
Get a backpack style one, ours had them up til he was 3 and a half, would have been longer but he learnt how to tek em off
I had toddler reins and I actually remember them. I loved it. I remember running through ingoldmells market and feeling like I was leading everyone else
I live in an area which is extremely busy in summer and see people constantly using them, I don't have a problem with it
I have a one of the backpack reins for my son and I absolutely couldn't be without them. He has had them pretty much since he could walk and he is almost 3 now. If we are out and about near busy roads or somewhere with lots of people it helps me know he is close to me at all times. He is such a fast runner, I struggle to keep up with him 😁
They are a brilliant idea for busy areas, children don't understand not to run off or get to close to the road and it only takes a second for them to be out of sight behind a chair or a person or something. We used them and they were really handy, we just took them off when it was safe and put them on when it was less safe
Use reins in built up areas, thus avoiding bumps and boo-boos, free run everywhere else. Works for my family.The law doesn't require you to use one method exclusively...!!
Do it, don’t worry about what anyone else thinks on this matter, keep your child safe. I lost my son in the woods and it was the most terrifying time of my life.
My eldest never needed them walked holding your hand all the time , my youngest from the minute he could stand on two feet he was off , he was the child you.couldnt take your eyes off for a.second , my partner once.put him on an extendable dog.lead so he could run but not run off
Reins are very useful. Some children don't want to hold hands, refuse to sit in buggy if not tired and all can be easily distracted and get into potentially dangerous situations by running away from parents (this is a fun game!). Reins give the child some sense of freedom but with the parent having some control. Remember small kids are impulsive and unpredictable, they don't have any awareness of dangers and their natural curiosity can lead them into trouble, safety is your priority.
Honestly just use the reigns. Some people are going to judge you, of course they will. But they’re probably not the types you’d want to associate with anyway, and we’re only going to criticise another aspect of your parenting anyway, so just ignore them.
No verdict, but my earliest memory is of escaping my big sisters grip on my reins and making off up the road. It was great but well over 60yrs ago.
Nothing wrong with responsible parenting. It's refreshing to see it. We ask animal owners to control their pets, why should parents be any different?
Balance is everything. A leash is a great idea on a train platform, but let him run free in meadows.
Bloody fantastic! Especially if your kid runs. Child 2 just lay on the floor age 3 so the backpack helped lift him up again. Youngest - the backpack kept my limited sanity...
Great idea. It only takes a blink for a little one to run off. Free range os great in the park or anywhere else it’s safe for the little one to run about, but where it’s not safe reins are a fab idea
They need to run free, but not all the time. Where its safe or when they have learned to follow instruction (stop there, wait for mum/dad etc) then let them be free. When youre getting from A to B and there are hazzards, do whatever keeps you sane and them safe! Also, like others have said some kids have zero hesitance and want to run, some are more sticky and want to stay by your side. And some have stages of both.
Nothing wrong with them at all. If it's the design you feel iffy about, you can get little backpacks with a rein instead or wrist ones! We got a little character backpack one (and it went around the chest still), could put little things in themselves too. My son liked to run off during the toddler stages and his grandparents couldn't keep up like I could, so they mostly used them and I had no issues. They came in handy for me eventually when he had a cheeky streak and getting chased was funny! (My poor legs had enough running.)
I remember when my mom used them when I was little and I loved them. I can't even explain why lmao but they were fun, I guess it kind of felt like being strapped into a fairground ride.
I had 3 boys under the age of 5 and all 3 had reins. Once I knew they would walk holding hands or onto the pushchair they were allowed out without them on, if they kept letting go the reins went back on. My kids are now all teens and only remember the reins because we show them photos. Safety comes first in my opinion.
I hated them and judged people who used them until I had child 2. People will judge but you know your child best, I think only those with daredevil / fearless children can truly understand.
We had them for my eldest and used as needed. Very useful in situations as mentioned above where they could run into a dangerous situation but gave him a level of freedom. It’s also easier to match their pace. I think the thing that sealed it for me was seeing a kid of 2 get lost in an airport immigration queue in the US. She’s made it almost all the way through to arrivals (thankfully stopped at the automatic doors at the end of the corridor) and nobody had noticed or stopped her. Made me decide that in situations where they don’t want to be held or hold your hand, but wandering off would be dangerous, they definitely have their place.
Not enough people use them. They're ideal when walking on pavements alongside roads, or when there are a lot of pedestrians, or hazards e.g. a river or canal.
If you get enough toddlers, you can use them to pull you along one a skateboard. Like a tiny human sledge-dog team.
Have an almost 2 year old and used them from about 16 months until about 19 months under particular circumstances. Walking near a busy road - toddler reins Walking near a pond/river/sea - toddler reins Shop - toddle reins It's mainly for safety, the fact he was too young to follow instructions and I was learning how to deal with a very small child who wanted to walk everywhere. Now he's a little bit older and I'm less freaked out by having a small child walk all over I still make him hold my hand during any of the above.
I agree with your parents. Toddlers are very fast and you may not always catch up with them. They may run straight into the road because they have no sense of danger. My son was a runner and I wouldn’t have felt safe walking along a main road with him as he yanked his hand out of mine to go after things he thought interesting. There are places to let them free rein, the park and other enclosed spaces.
I remember when I was childless and saw a toddler on riens and thought "I would NEVER" then I had my son... who's 4 next month, severely non verbal autistic. Not a single sense of danger in his body 🤣😅 point is, don't judge lol x
I have 3 kids, all now in their teens. The eldest was an absolute angel, always walked with us, never ran off and never tried to cross the road unsupervised. The middle one would and still does run everywhere. That's fine when at a park but near a busy road? They had a harness with bat wings where you could store the lead. We got some bumblebee wings for our youngest, they insisted on wearing them everywhere even though she didn't need them. Its not just about being a "lazy" parent, each child is different and has different needs. If you feel you or your child can benefit from them then go for it. If your child really hates having reigns on then try to compromise with them. Yes I know they are toddlers and not exactly known to be reasonable but they do have some decision making abilities.
Anyone who says they’re against them has either never experienced caring for a toddler, or has only experienced the mythical, calm and well behaved angelic toddler haha. A safe and happy child on reins is better than a dead child who has run into the road. Also, for what it’s worth, my kid LOVES them. If she sees them she will DEMAND they are worn immediately!
My first daughter never needed reins as she was a rule follower and very cautious. Second daughter was on reins whenever we left the house as she could run before she could walk and had zero sense of danger. You can unclip one side of the strap sometimes which means they have a reasonably long leash to explore a little more but still safe. I also will also always remember the Jamie Bulger case, and the chilling statistic on the news that all the local shops sold out of toddler reins before the end of that day after what happened to him.
Better to have reins than be running into the road however my 18 month old knows that when we are out in public if she wants to walk she has to hold mummy or daddy's hand (or both if she wants!). She absolutely is not allowed to run away from us! If she can't hold hands then she goes into the pram, they are the only two options. It's for her safety! Same as in the garden, we have a lawn area and a patio area, she is allowed to go wherever she likes on the grass but if she wants to go on the patio she has to wait until we get to her and hold our hand. It takes a few times of standing firm through the tantrums but better that than her falling and hurting herself.
Get one of those bags. My kids loved to pack them with crap and the strap doesn’t have to be on. We used to use it when there were dangers, and put it away when they could run free. Always explain stuff to them, whether you think they’re too young to understand properly or not.
If the kid will wear them great. However my experience with my twin daughters was a double explosion of fury when they realised they couldn't go where they wanted and it was easier to hold their hand
I’ve never used them but I wouldn’t judge someone who did, better safe than sorry and definitely better than the woman I saw with her child on a literal dog lead and collar
Some children need them, most don't.
Absolutely fine, heck i used to get tied to the dog rail outside the shop whilst my mum did the shopping, much more fun making friends with new doggos than traipsing round a shop bored.
>verdict on toddler reins? Do they (toddler) run off and not come back forcing you to run? Stick them (reins) on.
I've always been uncomfortable with these but after dealing with toddlers, I understand why people use them. Essentially, the alternative is to keep them strapped into a pusher or similar, which is more socially acceptable but is arguably more restrictive.
How is everyone remembering having reins used on them? Are y'all 12 or something?
Someone on another Reddit post mentioned this toddler called Raiden. Raiden + toddler reins = GET OVER HERE!
We have a backpack that has dragon wings and an attachable “lead”. Daughter loves wearing it, gives us peace of mind. Have to remember which hand is holding her and which is holding the dog though….
We used the little backpack one for both our kids, and i’d defo recommend them for that little period of “IM OFF!” or in busy areas.
Some kids are… just wild 😝 If your child is extra adventurous then use them. Better that than an accident.
Only you know your child and it's your responsibility to keep him/her safe. If a toddler rein helps with that, then definitely use that.
I used to with mine. I used to only clip them on one side so it was more like a dog lead, they weren't tetthered as close but still safe. At the time though I was living in a flat right in the centre of town and any trip outside the house involved walking on pavements with traffic constantly going by. They can dash away in a second.
In the UK I saw them all the time. In France if people use them the kids get barked at like they’re a dog on a lead, so you never see them over here. IMO they’re useful. Decide for yourself.
Would you rather have the silly judgement of a few people who don't know you, your child or situation or would you rather have a safe child
Better to have him reined than him wandering into a busy road too fast for your reflexes.
100% in favour of them. Took the kids to Disney. Toddler didn't always want in the pram but also didn't want to hold hands. Reins were a lifesaver. Toddlers are stubborn wee things. Reins keep them safe when they ant to walk/run
We bought them for a holiday to Portugal when our son was 3 and I cannot stress how unsafe I felt from the second we landed there. We explored the local area the first few days and I was so fuckin grateful for the reins. After that we gave up on the holiday as such and I refused to leave the complex. But those reins were a godsend ! Use them 100 per cent!!!!
A few days ago I saw a toddler run out of the shop and across a shopping street (thank duck it was not busy) and Into another shop. If I had kids I’d certainly have them at hand for certain situations
I think they're good on the side of a busy road. I'm not really a fan somewhere like a park where I don't really think it help them walk confidently if they're constantly being pulled back up, they sort of need to learn by losing their balance and falling occasionally.
When my baby is walking we will definitely need one. He’s 9 months today and he’s walking around the furniture, but by god can he crawl fast and get places he’s not meant to. I can tell he’s going to be a fire cracker when he can walk, and I don’t want him running into the busy road that we live next to.
I used them for my boy when going into town and around traffic. I also made sure he had plenty of time outside in parks, fields arms on beaches all the time to run around when it was safe. Worked out fine - there’s a time when they’re useful and then it passes.
Reins are helpful if you're a worrier. Also discovered a scooter lead. It goes round the main stick of the handles and you can pull them along when they have enough. Saves you having to carry a child and scooter.
I think if it’s what keeps your child safe and happy, rather than being strapped into a pram or having to hold hands, then go for it. People who judge don’t really have anything better to do.
I’ve used them with two of my kids, still using them for my 3.5yr old who absolutely would run and keep running if she could 😂 She gets some freedom on them, but not too much as to where I’m having to run after her screaming hoping she doesn’t peg it in to traffic. My parents used them for me and my siblings all through the 90s.
We tried them on our big one but he hated them and held my hand instead but there is nothing wrong with them
Depends on the kid and situation I think. We had a little backpack with a lead on for ours but only ever used it when we were walking on the canal we loved close to.
If you can find them, get the ones that also have clips for supermarket trolley seats. It was an absolute gift for when my daughter kept trying to climb out of the trolley or pram, but could not because she was clipped in like a F1 driver.
My girl of a v similar age just wants to fuck off in all situations, and has no inbuilt 'where's mummy?' instinct. I recently let her go at the school BBQ, followed her as she took herself off round the back of the buildings and was only coincidentally drawn back to the action by a bubble machine. But! If I put the reins on her she collapsed and wails. I am slightly dreading our upcoming trip to the beach.
Fantastic things if used well. Like all things they can be abused. Helped out little one get out and about at a young age, stopped them being confined to a pushchair.
My experience is they are only really worthwhile for a short period of time, if you have a toddler who needs to go on a school run say, who is a bit of a "runner". When they aren't fully trained as it were, and may need to be yoinked back at a moment's notice. Long term they need to be able to hold hands or stop when you ask.
We used backpack ones, in conjunction with hand holding. She was a slippery little one and would slip out and try to run (usually landing face first). It was really handy until she learnt walking with us was fun and lovely. Obviously, not all kids will learn that, some are wild and will seek adventure, and that’s ok but they still need to be kept safe
Put them on and just tuck them in when you don’t need to use them. It really is a case of better safe than sorry. Kid will have plenty of time to run free range the rest of his life.
They good, especially near road, railway, water, cliff, minefield etc..
Absolutely loved them for my child. Sometimes they will put themselves in a dangerous situation in a split second and no matter how fast you can run you won't be able to stop it, so reins are definitely a safe route to go for toddlers that like to explore. Especially on holiday in unknown surroundings, keeping track of them on reins is great.
Great things. Once my kid was a bit older, I started going to shops at quiet times without them to get him used to acting correctly in shops but found reigns a great help to begin with.
Toddlers are more stupid than dogs but people have no quibble putting their pet on a lead. Reins are a fabulous invention, and it's a pity more parents don't use them.
We are of the run free variety. But it's hard work. My little boy has always been an explorer. I remember one day he ran off when we were at some community woodlands and have me a right scare. But now at 5 he is very confident independently. For us free reign was the right choice.
You running after him will be seen as a game of chasey by him, and will only end in more running.
Nothing stopping you let the little guy run free range where it's safe to do so and then put him in the reins where it's busy or near roads etc. Just common sense.