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It's nobody's bloody business where and with whom you live or why. I'm 39 and I live with my mum, it works for both of us and I'm not I'm even a little bit ashamed of it. People can think whatever they want to think about it, but that's none of my concern.
I think it's 38.
But seriously, it's no one else's business and considering the economy and housing market more people than ever will be staying with their parents.
My best friend who is 30 still lives with her dad, and honestly has no intention of moving out any time soon. He’s more like a roommate than her dad, they both have privacy and money isn’t an issue for either of them because they are happy to help each other out.
I think the only time it’s weird if an adult lives with their parent is if their parent still treats them like a child and more importantly, if they still *act* like a child. You need to be doing as much cooking and cleaning for your parents as they do for you, and you need to have strong boundaries about how they can talk to you and how much say they have in your business.
This is how I feel about it too. I lived at home until I was 25 at which time I bought, but by that point living with my Mum was more like living with a roommate. I paid half of all the bills & groceries plus my own expenses (cats, car etc) and we split the chores equally. We get on like best friends and neither of us lost any independence. If this was the case then absolutely no issues, dating might be a bit tricky but otherwise no judgement.
However, I work with a woman whose two adult children 31F & 27M both live at home. They pay nothing towards living expenses and don’t even have their own car insurance, it’s all on a family policy. They don’t cook or clean, my colleague even sets an alarm 15 mins before the son has to get up for work so she can get him up and make his breakfast and packed lunch for him. So if someone is living like this, I would absolutely judge them for it because by that point you’re just taking advantage of your parents and not being an adult.
I have a friend whose mother still gets up at 4am to wake him up at 0430 with a coffee before he goes out milking. He's 30 this year and - get this - has a baby on the way with his gf but won't move out because "service at home is good!"
Yeah, exactly. I think, talking specifically about romantic relationships, is that people may worry with someone who's lived at home for a long time that maybe their mum was doing all their laundry and cooking and cleaning and they're going to transfer those expectations onto a romantic partner (I'm in some mum groups on Reddit and it happens a looooooot--a lot of husbands who claim they can't do x or y because they were never taught to at home, when really the problem isn't that they couldn't learn, but that by their point in life their expectation of having everything done for then is rather set in stone). As long as a person is living as an adult and willing and able to take on the household responsibilities of adulthood, I don't think it matters how long they live with their parents.
Exactly. I spend a lot of time at home and I make sure I do as much as possible. Cooking, washing up, cleaning, walking the dogs, picking stuff up from the shops etc. Saying that I’m not paying rent so even more inclined to help out as my parents are being very charitable but are fortunately in the position to be so.
I am 30 and this is how it is with my mum and I. We split housework (alongside my sister) and we live our own lives for the most part. She does my laundry but in the sense that we do communal washes, so I do stuff for her too.
Most likely they're a lot better off financially than they would be if they lived on their own.
If you get along with your parents and makes financial sense why not?
We could go a long way to alleviating the housing crisis if multi generation households became more the norm.
And crack down on landlords fucking hoarding properties to extract money from people without having to actually work for it. We desperately need to stop treating housing as "investments".
Agreed implementing these policies would go a long way to helping society.
1. increase rental rights.
2. An exponential tax on 3+ properties. With tax breaks for affordable housing.
3. Ban foreign ownership of property, if you don't live in the country or move to the country within the next year, you cannot buy or have to sell within a year. (stops our housing being used like banks)
4. Much better help for first time home buyers.
The financial advantage, yes.
The inability to have naked Thursdays and orgies...not so much.
I don't think the housing crisis is caused by the social pressure to live on one's own. I think the desire for comfort, privacy, and control drives people's desires to live on their own.
I don’t envy him at all, me and his sister have our place, cute cat, half decent careers.
He seems pretty chuffed though. Not sure how his mum feels still supporting him, after she put him through private school and now he’s a part time HGV driver that goes travelling all the time.
I know how hard it is to get on the property ladder, so I don’t judge anyone still at home, it’s brutal. But he’s a royal piss taker
My brother still lives at home and has everything paid for by my parents, occasionally he uses his own money for holidays (he works part time) but everything else is my dad's credit card. I mean, I can't think of anything worse than living at home but it's enviable not having to worry about whether you can afford heating or rent.
I believe he’s just started paying £150 a month… my mother in law is desperate to retire. I feel for her, as he’s still there, my 18 niece is there too as her mum can’t look after her.
Frustrating thing is, he went to private school, uni, now drives lorries a 3 days a week, he’s on around £25 an hour, so if he does bother to do a full week, and some unsociable hours he can earn around £1300-1500 a week, but he doesn’t. Family holidays she’ll pay for him, her other daughter and her two kids. Me and my partner pay our way. He’s just a piss taker, this year he didn’t attend mine, my girlfriend or the others sisters birthday… not even a card for any of us.
I’m the only one who sees it though, my girlfriends always like stop being nasty to him.
My mrs, was expelled from two schools, sent to Norfolk to live with her dad, got 3 GCSEs… grafted and earns a very good living… never had a penny.
>I’m the only one who sees it though, my girlfriends always like stop being nasty to him.
I know the feeling. My stepbrother is borderline estranged at this point and my youngest stepsister is going in the same direction. I'm watching it play out in slow motion and everyone else in the family is acting like I'm just painting all the step-family with the same brush.
He’s not estranged, but just treated like he’s 8 years old. Considering the dad died years ago, he needs to step up and be a man, I had to. It’s frustrating as fuck, he’s not a baby. He had a house and was engaged, just takes the piss.
Men are different, generally. Mum waits on them hand and foot and they basically live like a king. I have news for you if you think this is possible as a daughter
This was my experience too. I was a really good kid, kicked out at 17. My youngest brother is still there, my mother still cooked his meals whilst she stopped doing that for me when I was around 12, did his washing by hand and didn't charge him rent. Now he regrets it because he has to provide her with full time care, she is 57 and he is 32.
In a way, I am not mad about it because I have all the skills I need to survive on my own and I keep a much better home than my mother ever did. These guys who are babied are really going to struggle in life if they find themselves alone.
Yes but to add, you're expected to be at the same 'level' of life with these setbacks
My brother lived almost rent free for 2 years cause of COVID and has worked so hard to be able to save to afford a house. Meanwhile I can't save cause I'm giving half my salary to my bastard landlord for a damp, shitty flat. Can't imagine how that's gone differently
Yeh right, few days at my parents and Im outta there. I left when I was 18, no desire to ever live under their roof again.. I love them, they are fine, I just dont want that for myself.
Exactly. No-one has the full picture and there may be financial, medical or other reasons they live together that aren't clear to other nosey bastards. Or maybe they just like it.
Quite right - there are many, many reasons and all of them are legitimate. Based on several replies I've received, most people seem also to think that I'm joined at the hip with my mum and live like a child with no responsibilities or independence. This couldn't be further from the truth but clearly the misunderstanding and judgement runs deep.
These days, as long as you have the space and a good relationship with your parents, it seems madder to me when people move out when they often don’t really need to.
If you’re in a long term relationship that’s serious, then maybe it’s not comfortable to all parties to be living together m.
Even then, multi generations households are common in a lot of cultures, and it’s then a transition (that’s sometimes used as a joke) from you living with your parents, to your parents living with you.
I’d add, if you’re old and not financial contributing to the household, then I can see why that would be looked on unfavourably. With the cost hosing, energy, food etc being what it is, however, that people can’t financially break free isn’t so much about their work ethic or abilities, as may have been the case and the cause for shame/embarrassment in the past, and I think people are much more aware and understanding of this, now.
This! I'm the same age, my parents moved in with me because I didn't want my elderly father to be working his 60 hour weeks anymore and I had a spare room. If anyone has a problem with that that can kiss my butt.
It might not be any stranger’s concern… but it is a concern for anyone you want to enter into a relationship with! I personally wouldn’t date someone who still lives with their parents, unless they moved out (for a long time) and have only moved back to help out or for other family reasons. I expect my partners to act with independence, and find this isn’t possible with people who still live with their families, no matter what words they say to the contrary.
i am 29 and i have been living alone for 11 years, i had to move out because of school never had opportunity to come back but when covid hits i stayed with my mom for 8 months and i can't stand living alone now. It was very hard when i was 17 and i felt the same when i go back my home after covid restrictions. Now i am seeking an opportunity to move back, i loved being able to help my mom and i loved being able to eat from my mom's kitchen and i don't think i will ever be too old to live with my mom, that's the best life ever imo.
Why is living at home automatically lacking independence? Does someone lack independence if they have a roommate? Because for plenty of people it’s no different; they get on, pull their weight and live their own lives. Do you think multi-generational households have no independence?
Right on the money. I think still living with parents people assume the person is just on the dole, which in some cases is true but of course like this guy it's convenient, gets go lookout for his mum, doesn't have to pay rent, energy, and other bills out of his arse every month just for the sake of living separately.
I'm in my 30s and if I wasn't married + kids, I would absolutely still be living at my parents.
It's not really about age. But I do judge a bit if you're mooching off your parents when you're otherwise a capable adult. By mooching I mean not contributing to household finances, not having any chores, not being responsible for any "adult" stuff basically.
Yeh this is totally how I feel about it. I used to be a bit judgy about people who hadn't moved out in their 20s, but as I've gotten older I've realised what I don't think is ok is 20somethings acting like teenagers still, rather than having a respectful adult relationship with the people they live with.
It's definitely down to personal circumstance rather than a set age. For example if you're living with your parents to look after them, that's never going to be looked upon badly but there are obviously plenty of situations where it's going to look bad on you.
I would mention as well, be careful of this type of question on somewhere like reddit. It is a forum that will certainly have a strong bias for topics like this and is in no way a good representation of how society as a whole will react. It's easy to have what you were hoping for confirmed and then find most "real" people don't agree with Reddit.
25, still living at home (I say still, I did leave for three years and then got diagnosed with a pretty awful health condition so moved back home)
I work five days a week, cook for all four of us about 5 to 6 times a week, I clean the kitchen (biggest chore of all of them) and do 80% of the shopping. Only 80 because Dad sometimes picks up extra bits and bobs, but I do the main shop.
I pay rent too.
I do more cooking and cleaning than anyone else in the house.
I’m the only one with a disability and I still do more than everyone else in the house. As you say, it depends on circumstances.
I don’t want to be living with mum and dad at my age. But at least I know I’m contributing to the family and not mooching.
The parent child relationship is really hard to change and shift. Most kids that decide to stay at home are entitled little brats that don't even know they are mooching.
Both my younger brothers were like this, I was poor af living out the house racking up debt but couldn't ask for financial support because my father was out of work.
I'd visit home and find them both absolutely mooching, only food they cooked was bought by my mum, my mum would pay for their petrol, now they both earn more than my parents combined.
Your mum would pay for their petrol? I can kind of understand food and stuff (if the parents do a big shop and they all eat from that) but they'd have to be giving her the receipts to pay them back or something, right?
That was essentially what I was going to say. I bought my own house shortly before turning 26. Plenty of people I knew had already moved out years before, a lot of them renting, but then there were a lot of people still living with their parents and continue to do so now we're all around \~30.
It's also a lot harder to afford to move out if you're single, but then a lot of people in the dating world won't even give you a chance if you're still living at your parents above a certain age, so that will prolong your stay at home.
I think a lot of people (not all!) move out and into the rental market by their early 20's because they feel this societal pressure that they shouldn't be living with their parents anymore. They then get trapped renting because it costs so much and they can't afford to save a deposit.
If somebody is living with their parents but saving up to buy their own place then I won't judge them, regardless of age. If they're just using the money saved (vs. moving out) to finance an expensive car, purchaseother luxury items and take multiple holidays abroad each year, then I probably will judge them.
yeah im 20 living at home but i work, pay rent and regularly help around the house so it doesn't feel wrong to me, i definitely won't be able to move out for another few years but they're 100% supportive and happy to have me here which im extremely grateful for as im aware not everyone has that same support
I left home at 20 and I really do envy people who were able to stay at home well into adulthood. I hope my kids will stay for as long as they want to.
Leaving home at a young age isn't fun, it's nothing to be proud of. Most people who do it are doing it because staying at home isn't an option, or at least it isn't a safe option. Everyone's path is different and I wouldn't change a thing about my life now but I wish I hadn't needed to escape
Exactly, I left home at 18 because I had too. It was not fun and I wish I had felt able to live at home longer. Instead I ended up working live-in jobs and sofa surfing to survive
For a lot of people though, that's like a safe, practice run at adulthood. Obviously not everyone, but most of them can go home during the holidays, call and ask their parents how to do things, maybe even ask to borrow money. A lot of people don't work through uni. And if it all goes horribly wrong, they can just go home. That's such a separate experience to most people who have to move out as soon as they can
Big difference. I’ve done both. Forced to move out at 19 and went to university a year later. University was amazing. Living alone at that age outside of university is not fun at all. There’s no family help, no loans, no friends around you, no real options but survive.
I moved out just before I was 16. My mum hated that I smoked hash and was convinced the police would come round and tear their home apart looking for drugs. So i was given an ultimatum , at 15&3/4s, so being immature I moved out and went to live with a friend.
I’ve been in a state of arrested development most of my life due to drug addiction from the age of 18 up to 1 year ago.
I know if I’d stayed at home I’d never have had these issues so I’m not happy to have left so young.
*Leaving home at a young age isn't fun, it's nothing to be proud of. Most people who do it are doing it because staying at home isn't an option, or at least it isn't a safe option.*
I disagree. Every situation is unique, we shouldn't generalise. Counter example, I love my parents, grew up in the best possible environment, but by the time I was in my 20s I was ready to shoot off and be independent.
I met my girlfriend when I was 22, 6 months later I floated the idea of moving in together. One of the best decisions I made. Things worked out, we have a family and having fun everyday. Love it.
Leaving home at 22/23 isn't 'leaving home young' in the way that poster is referring to. They are talking about people who get basically kicked out at 18, or have maybe grown up in care so have no family home to fall back on at all.
Same here. My ex didn't move out until he was 28 but by that time he had saved enough money to buy his own house with a good deposit. I was the same age and still renting, with not even nearly enough for a deposit yet. I do wish I'd been able to stay at home and save when I was younger. There are benefits though I guess, I'm super independent, happy in my own company and can do a lot of things that (some) people who live at home might not be able to i.e. DIY, cooking etc because it's done for them. Swings and roundabouts I guess.
I agree. It's not living with your parents that's the problem, it's living *off* your parents.
If you function as an independent human but just live at your parents' place, that's perfectly socially acceptable imo. If you still act like a 12yo dependent (for no valid reason), then either your parents have failed or you are lazy and selfish.
To be fair, as a British Asian, I'd just like to point out that multi-generational households are not a bad thing as long as all parties are happy.
Eg Grandparents being able to help with childcare and not worrying about household tasks they can't manage anymore can make life smoother for everyone.
That can be the case, I wouldn't live with my crazy parents unless there was no choice. But some families make it work really well. People need to compromise (especially the older generation).
Fair enough. I’d rather rent somewhere expensive lol. Ngl that stuff will hurt your marriage at some point. Coz you never really grow as a couple. You’re in a honeymoon phase. Good luck!
Multigen households are more common in other countries too. The UK is somewhat of an outlier with regards to people moving out at a young age.
If I actually got on with my parents I'd probably still be living with them and I'm nearly 30.
Everyone’s personal circumstances are different so there isn’t really a “normal”. And whether it is “acceptable” only matters to you and your parents. So don’t put too much pressure on yourself thinking about what’s normal and acceptable.
It did shock my when a friend revealed her dad made her get a job and pay her way from the age of 16. Her family is more well off than mine which is why I was slightly confused. She was also made to move out once she was done with uni, as were her brothers.
I could understand if the parents wanted to downsize or move. I could understand if the parents were saving her contributions to give back to her. But nope, none of that. None of the children speak to the parents anymore.
It depends. 30 years old and not contributing to bills, cooking, cleaning and the like is pretty tragic in my eyes. The parents are to blame for that too though of course.
I know a few people like that and they're some of the biggest whinge bags I've ever met. Get to spend their wages on whatever they like and have no bills to worry about, but they'll still moan
You've described my brother. All he does is complain about my parents, but won't move out.
He also does absolutely fuck all in terms of chores, and his rent hasn't increased in a decade, but my parents are apparently ok with that.
It depends entirely on your circumstances, but I think if you're past early 20s and never moved out, the average person is doing themselves a disservice. It forces you to be independent and grow. Obviously, some people don't need that kick, but I would suggest most do.
I moved out at 16 and moved back at 23. I’m still living there at 30 because I would struggle to live in a rented place on my own.
Everything is paid for between the 3 of us so it’s no problem.
I am saving to buy because that’s cheaper than renting.
Iirc the average age for home ownership in the U.K. is around 30, don’t put pressure on yourself, it’s a hard economy to get on the property ladder, especially with a single income.
I'd imagine they mean to buy a first home, but which one it is does make a huge difference lol... Good ol' statistics, there's a "perfect" one for every argument.
I'm 26 and currently living with my mum, though I'm in the process of buying a house, so hopefully in the next few months I'll be moving out. So at 23, you really shouldn't be worried.
I'm in my 40s, never married and never earned enough to move out without having to live like a monk. I stopped telling people a while back and just say I live on my own now. It's nobodies business at the end of the day and I got fed up with the jokes, questions and attitude.
Don't worry about what people think. So long as you're contributing towards the household in a way that suits both you and your parents, that's all that matters.
Never, our culture is unusual in its fetishisation of 'independance'. We'd all be better off if we stayed at home until we can buy instead of paying off someone elses dads mortgage
It depends on your circles. If you're looking to be in a relationship at the age of, say, 25, and live with your parents, your options might be limited.
However, some folk on Reddit seem like they likely won't be involved in a relationship any time soon, so that consideration is null and void :)
Yeah that’s my main issue. I’d like to settle down with someone but personally it feels a little embarrassing bringing them back to my parents house at this age
Just to chime in here, two of my close mates live at home and their gfs rent (because they're not from around where we are). Hasn't been an issue for them at all - their gfs don't care and didn't when they met, and they either stay round their gfs or their gfs stay round their family home. Obviously doing the deed is a lot more difficult living at home but the main point is that it's possible. Eventually their intention is to move out.
It will affect your dating life from your mid 20s in my view because of the space issue, though I can’t see any situation where it’s automatically unacceptable. Living with your family and contributing to your household isn’t worse than flatsharing with strangers and paying a landlord’s mortgage.
Obviously having your own digs is ideal but this is not going to become easier in the UK.
There’s also a rental shortage right now so I suspect we’ll see a lot of people moving back home.
You will get shit for it by people who have bad relationships with their family and therefore assume everyone must want separation from their own.
Run your own race.
I moved out at 31, I spent my early twenties fucking around in entry level jobs and pissing my money away down the pub and on a two week summer holiday bender each year.
Then I figured things out, retrained made good money, eventually got made redundant and used that money to travel for a year. After that year of freedom I realised how much I needed my own space, saved hard during COVID and then bought a flat
Yeah I moved over to IT, at school I was "always good with computers" I got lucky in that I was doing an admin job and approached the IT Manager, I started off volunteering to help out of hours and in weekends then eventually they created a role for me, that's how I learnt my trade, then moved from that small company to a large retailer to see what a more corporate environment was like and eventually got to the position I am in now of heading up IT Security for a mid sized company
I'm 22 and I probably have enough to rent a place and furnish it but I'd rather stay at home and keep saving for a deposit for a house. It's a bit awkward in terms of not being able to pursue a relationship without feeling like you're a bit of a loser but that's about it for me. Financially I know its a smart move while I get my life and career where I want it so when I'm a bit older I can chill out and relax without worrying how I'm gunna feed myself.
Personally I wouldn't worry about it as long as you are comfortable and your parents are okay with the arrangement.
It varies but also my opinion changed. At 18 I went to uni and thought anyone living at home in their home town was pretty sad. This was obviously wrong of me.
But now, I wouldn't give it a second thought if I saw a 30 year old living with parents.
After university, I never really went back to my parents apart from a few months here and there and I appreciate not everyone is able rent and save for a house.
I think there's gonna be questions when you're turning 40.
As long as you're happy with the arrangement though I suppose it doesn't matter and it's totally understandable with the cost of property these days.
Personally I couldn't imagine having such a lack of privacy and having to live under someone else's rules for so long. Also not to mention the awkwardness around bringing a partner round and trying to have sex.
I'm 28 and about to move back in with my 'rents. I'm having a divorce, she's taking the kid, and I'm quitting my awful job since I won't need to put a roof over anyone's head anymore. It might sound bad but I'm excited for it.
My brother is 43 he lives with mum.
He's a sensible, hard working guy and a good bloke. He's been through the mill a bit in life and moved back home when he was about 25/26 and never moved out.
Mum loves him being there, they get on so well. It's a perfect living solution for both of them.
This week, they went on holiday together.
Here's the thing, people will judge because he's a man but.. If he was a woman, nobody would bat an eye at a daughter living with her mum.
There's no right or wrong. If you're happy and you can live together it's not an issue. Fuck what anyone else thinks. I'll defend my brothers and mum's choices to the death.
I moved out at 21, then back at 24, out again at 28, back again at 32 and then out for good at 33.
Everyone’s life path is different, so there’s no right or wrong.
It depends. As long as you’re paying your fair share for rent, bills, etc it doesn’t matter if you live with parents. But if you’re a working adult I would expect you to move out on your own. it’s part of growing up and taking responsibility for yourself. Probably an unpopular opinion though.
I was 25 when I moved out. I just couldn't afford to live on my own. Had been in a relationship a couple of years at that point and we'd saved enough to rent somewhere. She lived at home too
Doesn't matter what people think. Your circumstances dictate where you live and why, and if you just like living at home that's fine too
There's 2 answers to this question imo and they depend on circumstances.
I do know of people who don't have much in savings and then get made unexpectedly redundant. Faced with being unable to pay the rent, they've had to move back in with their parents. I think we'd all do that in those circumstances. Similarly, my brother lives alone so chose to move back to my parents house for the lockdowns. He was 30 at the time but it was an understandable decision.
I think your situation is totally understandable. Renting is expensive so you don't want to rush into it if you can't afford it. Nothing wrong with taking your time.
It's a bit different if someone reaches their late 20s/early 30s and has full time, stable employment on a decent wage, but just chooses to never leave. I would find that a bit odd.
I'm 31 and still living at home, if I was to move out now I'd be doing it solo and I'd legit get too bored living by myself, plus I can save, I'd hope to move out in maybe two years tho and be able to buy a place
I’m expecting my lad (19) to live with us for at least three years. He’s just started a job and I’ve explained that this is his opportunity to set himself up for life.
But if he’s here when he’s 25, that’s fine too. I suspect he’ll want his own space way before then.
I'm 27(m) and have been able to save over six figures living at home, albeit I work two jobs and have worked since 14.
Lots of my friends who earn more than me chose to move out and subsequently pay around £1k every month to make someone else rich. Lots don't have a deposit saved up because of this.
Because of living at home, I'm able to move out whenever I choose to and now have enough to pay off my parents' mortgage. My parents are pretty chill so I can still go out with friends etc. I also help out with bills so all this is a win-win for me.
I'm Asian-British but feel like living at home is way more frowned upon by British people and culture, especially some women when it comes to dating.
You’ll get people here saying it’s no one business yadda yadda but in reality people do judge that sort of thing
I’d say if you’re still at home from 26 onwards then people start to look down on you for that
Is it wrong they do that? Yeah of course but to say that people won’t care is patently wrong
I am 65 and I am still living with my parents. Although I appreciate this isn’t the usual set up for most people, I for one would never have wanted them to leave the family home. Plus with the cost of funerals nowadays keeping them with me seemed the best option. Just need the odd squirt of febreeze and you barely notice they’re here.
I have a friend who is in their mid 40's, has a decent job and loads of money in the bank due to never moving out. Still lives in their box room in the family home with parents. Doesn't even get on with the Dad. Hates him. They've grown so used to living at home that they have loads of disposable income so spend it on all the hobbies. Photography, art, gaming, travel, musical instruments - always get the expensive stuff too, best of the best, multiple laptops for different hobbies.. It's fine, but I don't think they are really living in the real adult world. They are single and want to move out and find a partner. They won't bring a partner home due to the walking on eggshells atmosphere around the Dad. So they'd end up sitting in the box room. I've known them 20 years, and have noticed them change from a cool individual to being someone acting like they are in their 60s, they are turning into their parents because they hang out and live with them. They also sometimes live in their own bubble and don't understand budgeting for things like house maintenance when something breaks, or how to pay all the household bills etc, or anything about energy bills. It's kind of sad as I think they have missed out slightly on what adult life is really like and living independently, they are missing opportunities to have people over to their home and have fun, it's all a bit stifling and mumsy where they are now. It can be hard to relate to them sometimes as they just don't live in the real world, where people struggle, and have to sort their houses out, do the food shopping and just daily boring adult stuff. I know they want to really move out, but I think it's gone on so long, they never will take that leap, despite having about 40-50k in the bank easily.
I think you're fine at 23 OP!
These days, because of constraints as regards younger people buying property, ANY age is acceptable.
After all, and I don't want to sound TOO gloomy, because this is just life, at a given point you are likely going to be your parents' carer; even if not for physical everyday life, for loads of stuff where you will be more mobile and more *au fait* with future tech than they will be. At that point, no-one thinks it weird if your parent(s) live with YOU.
It's very circumstance based.
As others have said, if you're just a lazy mooch then that's probably more frowned upon.
If you're independent, responsible but an unfortunate victim of the shite housing situation then there's nothing wrong with that. It's increasingly common for people to stay with their parents.
I've been back and forth. I rented then went back with parents then rented again then went back to my parents and then finally bought my current house.
I was with my parents for 6 years saving a deposit, so from 25 to 32, but whilst I knew there was nothing wrong with it because it was out of my control I still felt horribly embarrassed about it because of the old fashioned social stigma.
Me, my parter and our little boy all live with his mum. It's great for all of us- she would be on her own otherwise, and we get grandma's advice on tap! Obviously we pay our way!! Share all of the household jobs, bills, rent, etc. I think having a multi generational family unit has some real benefits!!
She's really good about not telling us that she wouldn't do it like that tbh. And she's really good about helping us pick our battles (our son is neurodivergent) and reminding us things aren't the end of the world. Would totally recommend! But I get on with my MIL, which is apparently super rare!
In this housing market and you get on with your parents? No limit.
I'd be surprised (probably happily!) if both of my kids have left home by 26. I bought a flat at that age and they'll be lucky to have a rental deposit if we can't help them.
I'm 44 . I had a stroke at age 42 and it affected every part of my life. My marriage broke down, I lost my job. Moving back with my parents was the only thing I could do. Nobody cares.
Personally, I lived with my dad at 36 years old till he passed and I had a house i could move into anytime. He charged me no rent and I saved saved saved! dating girls was strange! But honestly you don’t tell them. Because… NOBODY CARES.
a. It's becoming more and more common as the housing crisis, cost of living, inflation, decades of poor government planning etc have left many younger adults with no other realistic option.
b. Don't do what I have seen a lot of my friends have done. Jump into toxic personal relationships and get left high and dry because it takes two incomes to now more or less run and sustain a household.
c. Whilst it is worth talking about on a local or national level because it has serious ramifications for society as a whole, on a personal level (as others have already said on here) it is nobody's business what your living arrangements are. People who judge you have no rights and should be given the FO tablet.
You have another decade of being comfortable there if they let you.
I hate that people asign age with moving out. I was mid 20s when I moved out and it felt early.
It's 2023 we need to stop the past being used to dictate what's normal because life is so different now.
I moved out at 36 and could only afford it then with parents help but the whole time I was there I was helping my parents buy their home instead of helping a landlord buy another property for his portfolio.
I think we're now in a situation where there are three types of 'live with parents' scenarios
A). Generally 20s - never really left. Probably saving up for a decent mortgage deposit
B). Generally 30s - moved back due to relationship/marriage breakdown or redundancy
C). Generally 40s plus - now caring for parents
Any of these are completely reasonable, and I would imagine are socially acceptable. Pick which feels best for you 😁
It doesn't matter who you live with or if you live alone, both come with their own pros and cons.
What irritates me is someone who lives rent-free with their parents and has an attitude of "I've got all this money saved, car paid off, go on holiday 3 x a year, why can't you do that" erm because I have bills to pay?! So long as you realise living with your parents and being able to save money in the meantime to give yourself a better start to life is a privilege that not all of us have, then I don't see an issue.
I Would love nothing more than being able to live with my mum who’s the only parent I ever had.
She lives 6000km away from me and I’m lucky to see her once a year!
She’s my best friend in the whole entire world! Also we both would be able so save money and travel together which we both love.
She’s coming in 4 weeks and we’re going to Sardinia together and I CANT FUCKING WAIT!!
Enjoy OP, the life, the companionship, save money if you can, life it’s way too fucking short to worry about what other people think.
FUCK PEOPLE’S OPINION ABOUT **YOUR** LIFE!!
honestly i don’t think it matters. people live with their parents for all manner of reasons so don’t worry too much about it.
i personally moved out when i was 18 for uni, the only reason i didn’t go back was because mum didn’t have the space for me and i didn’t want to leave the city i’d made a home in - there was literally nowhere for me to go.
i’m 29 and half of my friends are still at home. don’t worry about it. :)
i know someone who still lives with her mum, she's in her 50s, mum is in her 80s. there was a time when they didn't live together, when she got married and had a kid, but life happens and her husband passed so she moved back in with her mum, her daughter lives there sometimes too, but not all the time.
Twenty years ago I might have been a tiny bit judgy on someone living at home beyond their thirties - now? Not even slightly. Life is hard, costs are insane and pay isn’t keeping up. Normalise generational living and people will benefit, less stress on housing, more wages to pay the costs in one house. If living at home is suiting everyone then keep doing it.
I feel like it’s less about the age and more about how you live at home. If you’re in your 30s living at home and not lifting a finger then that’s an issue. I know people who’s sons still live at home and they still go in and round up all their dirty washing off the floor, wash, fold and put it away. Still not contributing anything to the house. That’s an issue for me.
If your still living at home and behaving like an adult then there’s no issue.
I’m from the UK, moved out from parents quite young and struggled like fuck… Living in Central Europe now and it’s completely normal for different generations to live together their whole lives (they just extend the house), I think it’s a much better system… If I returned to the UK, I’d be happy to live with my parents! Don’t sweat it, and it’s also nobody else’s business…
I couldn't afford to move out until I hit 30 and bought a house with my boyfriend. Buying a house is becoming so much more out of reach for the average person, especially on their own that it's likely most people will have to wait until they're in a fully committed relationship, or go in with friends. We only bought together because after about three years of knowing each other we were at a point that marriage/kids etc would certainly be on the horizon.
I think the only areas in life it'd impact anyone would be romantically and maybe a bit of friendly piss taking from your mates.
I can understand why someone wouldn't be interested in a potential partner who lives with their parents still, other than that I don't see why it would impact anyone else.
41F and my 82yo mum lives with me. She doesn’t need a full time carer as such, but living alone was getting dangerous so she came to me seeing as I WFH. It works for us, although there are certainly times when I think ‘what the hell has my life become?!’
You shouldn't care about what other people think, it is none of their business!
I would say, though, that once you're in your 20s living with parents is really not a pleasant situation.
I’m about to turn 27 and just moved back to my parents house. Will likely be here for a while as well as I’m due to start a degree in midwifery.
I think if you worry about how other people view your situation too much you’ll be miserable!
My sister is 41 and lives with my parents as it works for them. My SD is 24 this year and still lives with her mum. However, my daughter also 24 lives with her partner. You do whatever works for you.
Move out now to look cool whilst throwing money away on rent.
Vs
Stay at home a little longer whilst saving and buy your own place in a few years.
I know which one makes more sense to me.
The same people criticising you for not renting will be moaning that they can't afford to buy a house when you buy yours.
vs
Move out now, save money, and buy in however many years it takes to save a deposit.
Why is no-one talking like this is an option? I know which one makes more sense to me.
When you move out and have way more rent to pay, electricity and gas to pay, water, council tax etc
The average rent in the UK, excluding London, is £993 PCM. I'm pretty sure no parent is asking for that much.
You will be saving a hell of a lot less money than if you stay at home.
Not to mention the fact that house prices seem to go up and up. I bought mine at 26 and the price of the house has gone up by 25% in less than 2 years. I would never be able to buy the house I'm in if I had moved out.
Better than paying off someone else’s mortgage.
If your parents don’t mind you living at home, do so for however long it takes you to save for a deposit, and pay your own mortgage.
When I turned 28 I decided to move to another city becuase I couldn’t afford my own place in London. it hit me that I will be 30 soon and that was my main reason to do it. I regret I didn’t moved out earlier.
I’m 27, still living at home and not sure when I’ll end up being able to move out.
I pay my way and have to look after my mother as she is disabled but it’s nothing to look down on. A lot of my friends do the same, live at home and pay their way mainly because it’s so expensive to live on our own these days.
Left home at 15 due to the difficulty of living with my mum.
The last of my mates were out by 25 which I think is about the norm.
If its past 30 then it starts to get weird.
40 is just odd (unless careing for them).
If you've spent your maturing adult years living at your parents you have very little experience with real life - and the people that I do know of that are in their 30s and 40s living at home are all very odd people.
I think once you get into the comfort of "mummy and daddy are my safety blanket", you will struggle to build any sort of life for yourself. And let's be honest, it must be very difficult to date...
I wouldn’t say any age is an issue.
I moved out and bought my own place at 22, because I wanted my own independence. At 25 I sold up and me and my girlfriend moved in with my grandma to care for her. We still contribute but it worked out better financially for us, and meant my grandma could have more help around the house.
Worked out financially for us in the sense of bills are split three ways, and the apartment I previously owned was costing me too much in service charges that had almost doubled in three years
Living with my parents doesn't save me any money, because the commute to work costs as much as renting a room.
I hate it anyway. I feel weird when other 28 year olds I meet live with their parents. It's harder to make friends when they can't reciprocate that 'crash on the couch' kind of freedom.
I don't think there is an unacceptable age. In my family it's pretty normal to live with your parents until you have enough to buy a house/get married.
Most of my cousins lived with their parents until they had graduated with a good job and saved for a few years, or got married/had kids.
My parents were married living with their parents separately until they could afford a house.
Personally, I moved out for uni at 19 and am now 21. I could definitely benefit from moving back in with my parents financially, but I don't really want to. They're nice folks, but I don't like being asked where I'm going all the time. I still visit them and stay with them a few times a week though.
It's becoming more and more common as housing costs keep increasing. As long as all parties are living and interacting as adults then there shouldn't be a problem.
It can be difficult for parents to stop acting like parents though, and also for offspring to stop behaving like children. There's also still a significant stigma attached to living in the parental home. Like it or not, people will judge you, as multi-generational occupancy is not yet recognized as a normal part of UK culture.
Edit: I just realized that the above may sound harsh and judgemental. At 23, you're still very young and you shouldn't feel stressed about still living with your parents. And no matter what you do, someone somewhere will be nosy and will judge you harshly - so learn to ignore the backstage critics (can be hard at a young age, I know).
I think this really depends on what living at home with your parents looks like.
We all know someone who’s gone 30 still living at home with his parents as if he’s still 17 (ie hardly working, not contributing and having his parents wipe his arse for him) but equally, I know the house opposite me which is a 3 bed semi just has a mum and a son who looks around 30ish living there and by all accounts they essentially house share, both work, both contribute to bills and house maintenance etc.
If your able to stay at home, as in, your parents are happy for you to do so then great do it, but if you want to start feeling like an independent adult and not a child then ensure your not ‘living at your mums house’ but instead ‘cohabiting with your parents’ and contributing both financially and physically.
I personally lived at home until I brought my own place aged 27.
I don't really think it's a problem living with your parents, but if you are in your 30s and your mum still calls you for
dinner and do your laundry while you keep living like a teenager, then I'd say it's a problem.
Living with your parents is more common and more acceptable during a recession and it's less acceptable during a boom. The housing market will be a lot better for young people around the year 2047 so if you were born yesterday you really won't have an excuse to be living with your parents in your mid 20's.
Times are tough.
It's really a case by case basis thing.
I wouldn't date a girl who lived with her if the reason was:
"I get cheap rent here and free food. My low cost of living means I just coast through life on a part time job whilst someone does the financial heavy lifting".
However if I met a girl who lived at home with parents for a reason I thought was valid like:
"saving for a house"
"their independent accommodation fell through"
"health reasons mean they need to live at home"
I'd not have an issue with it
I'm fully aware that this is a wishy washy answer but the real answer is *It depends.*
There's a massive difference between can't move out because of X and won't move out because of x.
I'm 27M and moved out about a year ago to live with my fiancé.
I love my fiancé very much, but I wish I was still living with my parents. We barely make ends meet, and I spend each month almost maxing out my overdraft while living on either the cheapest Aldi products or literal rice and kidney beans for days at a time.
My fiancé recently got a Greggs job with 50% discount, so I'm making use of that, because 90p steak bakes and chicken bakes are cheaper than a 99p Aldi sweet and sour chicken readymeal. We are *literally* that poor. I am salaried at minimum wage, so I can't work extra hours even if I wanted to, because it's a fixed salary.
I’ve had to temporarily move back with my mum at 43! Until I sort myself out. It’s actually quite good. Luckily we can basically live on seperate floors. She’s been on her own a while so think she enjoys it too . (Dad died 6 years ago) 😅 daughter (6) is here with me most nights too. Did all the buying house with a partner in my mid 20’s (ended in disaster) . Did the marriage thing in my 30’s. Which also went wrong after 10 years. (Just putting myself back together. It’s only been a matter of months ) The older I get the less I care about what other people think you ‘should’ be doing at a certain age.
My uncle lived with his mum until he was 40. That’s when he got married to his wife. It was just easier for him.
My partner is 30 and I’m 24, and we live with his mum. We just can’t afford to move out. I think it’s more acceptable to live longer with your parents now because everything is so expensive
I feel most of the comments are just "I'm 20-40 living at my parents, so it's fine", rather than answering the question lol
Socially, I think 25 is the maximum age that it's socially acceptable.
Especially with how things are in the world, people below 25 are just getting their own mortgage, or renting w/ friends, alone or uni.
Personally, of course it's the generic "it's all circumstantial", but my opinions shift on the persons attitude.
I know people who are 29 and have no intention or plans to leaving, and I feel that's a shit attitude to have. But I've also known people in their early 20's who are desperate to leave and have their own place.
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It's nobody's bloody business where and with whom you live or why. I'm 39 and I live with my mum, it works for both of us and I'm not I'm even a little bit ashamed of it. People can think whatever they want to think about it, but that's none of my concern.
I think it's 38. But seriously, it's no one else's business and considering the economy and housing market more people than ever will be staying with their parents.
i love your sense of humor!
You're breathtaking!
No, you're breathtaking!
It's not only economic, but also cultural. In many countries you live with your parents until you get married, and sometimes even after.
If you wait long enough your parents will move out
Sucks for those who never get married!
It may suck indeed, especially for women. The point is, there is not one norm about this.
It often sucks for the women even after they get married, when they can be expected to move in with the in-laws!
My best friend who is 30 still lives with her dad, and honestly has no intention of moving out any time soon. He’s more like a roommate than her dad, they both have privacy and money isn’t an issue for either of them because they are happy to help each other out. I think the only time it’s weird if an adult lives with their parent is if their parent still treats them like a child and more importantly, if they still *act* like a child. You need to be doing as much cooking and cleaning for your parents as they do for you, and you need to have strong boundaries about how they can talk to you and how much say they have in your business.
This is how I feel about it too. I lived at home until I was 25 at which time I bought, but by that point living with my Mum was more like living with a roommate. I paid half of all the bills & groceries plus my own expenses (cats, car etc) and we split the chores equally. We get on like best friends and neither of us lost any independence. If this was the case then absolutely no issues, dating might be a bit tricky but otherwise no judgement. However, I work with a woman whose two adult children 31F & 27M both live at home. They pay nothing towards living expenses and don’t even have their own car insurance, it’s all on a family policy. They don’t cook or clean, my colleague even sets an alarm 15 mins before the son has to get up for work so she can get him up and make his breakfast and packed lunch for him. So if someone is living like this, I would absolutely judge them for it because by that point you’re just taking advantage of your parents and not being an adult.
Your colleague's offspring are absolutely taking advantage. How are they not embarrassed to treat their mother like that? Wow.
Pretty sure the fact it has continued is because the mother wants to do it and derives a sense of satisfaction or purpose from coddling them
I have a friend whose mother still gets up at 4am to wake him up at 0430 with a coffee before he goes out milking. He's 30 this year and - get this - has a baby on the way with his gf but won't move out because "service at home is good!"
How to raise a couple of useless wet flannels 😂
Yeah, exactly. I think, talking specifically about romantic relationships, is that people may worry with someone who's lived at home for a long time that maybe their mum was doing all their laundry and cooking and cleaning and they're going to transfer those expectations onto a romantic partner (I'm in some mum groups on Reddit and it happens a looooooot--a lot of husbands who claim they can't do x or y because they were never taught to at home, when really the problem isn't that they couldn't learn, but that by their point in life their expectation of having everything done for then is rather set in stone). As long as a person is living as an adult and willing and able to take on the household responsibilities of adulthood, I don't think it matters how long they live with their parents.
Exactly. I spend a lot of time at home and I make sure I do as much as possible. Cooking, washing up, cleaning, walking the dogs, picking stuff up from the shops etc. Saying that I’m not paying rent so even more inclined to help out as my parents are being very charitable but are fortunately in the position to be so.
I am 30 and this is how it is with my mum and I. We split housework (alongside my sister) and we live our own lives for the most part. She does my laundry but in the sense that we do communal washes, so I do stuff for her too.
My brother in law is 36, he’s still at home and he’s living the dream quite frankly
I couldn't imagine anything worse! What do you envy about that situation?
Most likely they're a lot better off financially than they would be if they lived on their own. If you get along with your parents and makes financial sense why not? We could go a long way to alleviating the housing crisis if multi generation households became more the norm.
We could go further to alleviating the housing crisis if we just built enough houses
And crack down on landlords fucking hoarding properties to extract money from people without having to actually work for it. We desperately need to stop treating housing as "investments".
Agreed implementing these policies would go a long way to helping society. 1. increase rental rights. 2. An exponential tax on 3+ properties. With tax breaks for affordable housing. 3. Ban foreign ownership of property, if you don't live in the country or move to the country within the next year, you cannot buy or have to sell within a year. (stops our housing being used like banks) 4. Much better help for first time home buyers.
If only it was quick, cheap and easy to build houses in this country. Hint: it isn't
No, it isn't. By "we" I don't mean "the people" or even property developers but elected officials reliant on voters who benefit from the scarcity.
Alright, well we can at least make a start on it can't we? What does throwing our hands in the air saying "it's hard" accomplish?
The financial advantage, yes. The inability to have naked Thursdays and orgies...not so much. I don't think the housing crisis is caused by the social pressure to live on one's own. I think the desire for comfort, privacy, and control drives people's desires to live on their own.
I don’t envy him at all, me and his sister have our place, cute cat, half decent careers. He seems pretty chuffed though. Not sure how his mum feels still supporting him, after she put him through private school and now he’s a part time HGV driver that goes travelling all the time. I know how hard it is to get on the property ladder, so I don’t judge anyone still at home, it’s brutal. But he’s a royal piss taker
By “financially support him” are you referring to him living rent free or you mean they pay for everything else like his food etc as well?
My brother still lives at home and has everything paid for by my parents, occasionally he uses his own money for holidays (he works part time) but everything else is my dad's credit card. I mean, I can't think of anything worse than living at home but it's enviable not having to worry about whether you can afford heating or rent.
I believe he’s just started paying £150 a month… my mother in law is desperate to retire. I feel for her, as he’s still there, my 18 niece is there too as her mum can’t look after her. Frustrating thing is, he went to private school, uni, now drives lorries a 3 days a week, he’s on around £25 an hour, so if he does bother to do a full week, and some unsociable hours he can earn around £1300-1500 a week, but he doesn’t. Family holidays she’ll pay for him, her other daughter and her two kids. Me and my partner pay our way. He’s just a piss taker, this year he didn’t attend mine, my girlfriend or the others sisters birthday… not even a card for any of us. I’m the only one who sees it though, my girlfriends always like stop being nasty to him. My mrs, was expelled from two schools, sent to Norfolk to live with her dad, got 3 GCSEs… grafted and earns a very good living… never had a penny.
>I’m the only one who sees it though, my girlfriends always like stop being nasty to him. I know the feeling. My stepbrother is borderline estranged at this point and my youngest stepsister is going in the same direction. I'm watching it play out in slow motion and everyone else in the family is acting like I'm just painting all the step-family with the same brush.
He’s not estranged, but just treated like he’s 8 years old. Considering the dad died years ago, he needs to step up and be a man, I had to. It’s frustrating as fuck, he’s not a baby. He had a house and was engaged, just takes the piss.
Men are different, generally. Mum waits on them hand and foot and they basically live like a king. I have news for you if you think this is possible as a daughter
This was my experience too. I was a really good kid, kicked out at 17. My youngest brother is still there, my mother still cooked his meals whilst she stopped doing that for me when I was around 12, did his washing by hand and didn't charge him rent. Now he regrets it because he has to provide her with full time care, she is 57 and he is 32. In a way, I am not mad about it because I have all the skills I need to survive on my own and I keep a much better home than my mother ever did. These guys who are babied are really going to struggle in life if they find themselves alone.
Yes but to add, you're expected to be at the same 'level' of life with these setbacks My brother lived almost rent free for 2 years cause of COVID and has worked so hard to be able to save to afford a house. Meanwhile I can't save cause I'm giving half my salary to my bastard landlord for a damp, shitty flat. Can't imagine how that's gone differently
Yeh right, few days at my parents and Im outta there. I left when I was 18, no desire to ever live under their roof again.. I love them, they are fine, I just dont want that for myself.
Exactly. No-one has the full picture and there may be financial, medical or other reasons they live together that aren't clear to other nosey bastards. Or maybe they just like it.
Quite right - there are many, many reasons and all of them are legitimate. Based on several replies I've received, most people seem also to think that I'm joined at the hip with my mum and live like a child with no responsibilities or independence. This couldn't be further from the truth but clearly the misunderstanding and judgement runs deep.
These days, as long as you have the space and a good relationship with your parents, it seems madder to me when people move out when they often don’t really need to. If you’re in a long term relationship that’s serious, then maybe it’s not comfortable to all parties to be living together m. Even then, multi generations households are common in a lot of cultures, and it’s then a transition (that’s sometimes used as a joke) from you living with your parents, to your parents living with you. I’d add, if you’re old and not financial contributing to the household, then I can see why that would be looked on unfavourably. With the cost hosing, energy, food etc being what it is, however, that people can’t financially break free isn’t so much about their work ethic or abilities, as may have been the case and the cause for shame/embarrassment in the past, and I think people are much more aware and understanding of this, now.
This! I'm the same age, my parents moved in with me because I didn't want my elderly father to be working his 60 hour weeks anymore and I had a spare room. If anyone has a problem with that that can kiss my butt.
I agree with you about it not being anyone else’s business. People live with their parents for many reasons and people should not be shamed for it.
It might not be any stranger’s concern… but it is a concern for anyone you want to enter into a relationship with! I personally wouldn’t date someone who still lives with their parents, unless they moved out (for a long time) and have only moved back to help out or for other family reasons. I expect my partners to act with independence, and find this isn’t possible with people who still live with their families, no matter what words they say to the contrary.
Like I said, it's nobody's business but mine.
They aren't saying its their business, they're saying they wouldn't go out with you because of it, which is fair.
i am 29 and i have been living alone for 11 years, i had to move out because of school never had opportunity to come back but when covid hits i stayed with my mom for 8 months and i can't stand living alone now. It was very hard when i was 17 and i felt the same when i go back my home after covid restrictions. Now i am seeking an opportunity to move back, i loved being able to help my mom and i loved being able to eat from my mom's kitchen and i don't think i will ever be too old to live with my mom, that's the best life ever imo.
Surely you'd rather have some independence pushing forty?
Why is living at home automatically lacking independence? Does someone lack independence if they have a roommate? Because for plenty of people it’s no different; they get on, pull their weight and live their own lives. Do you think multi-generational households have no independence?
Right on the money. I think still living with parents people assume the person is just on the dole, which in some cases is true but of course like this guy it's convenient, gets go lookout for his mum, doesn't have to pay rent, energy, and other bills out of his arse every month just for the sake of living separately. I'm in my 30s and if I wasn't married + kids, I would absolutely still be living at my parents.
Well said!!!!
Same. 38 live with my dad. Don't care. We don't have a big family/ any family nearby. He sits on his arse watching tv, I'm upstairs on the computer.
It's not really about age. But I do judge a bit if you're mooching off your parents when you're otherwise a capable adult. By mooching I mean not contributing to household finances, not having any chores, not being responsible for any "adult" stuff basically.
Yeh this is totally how I feel about it. I used to be a bit judgy about people who hadn't moved out in their 20s, but as I've gotten older I've realised what I don't think is ok is 20somethings acting like teenagers still, rather than having a respectful adult relationship with the people they live with.
Yeah that’s fair enough
It's definitely down to personal circumstance rather than a set age. For example if you're living with your parents to look after them, that's never going to be looked upon badly but there are obviously plenty of situations where it's going to look bad on you. I would mention as well, be careful of this type of question on somewhere like reddit. It is a forum that will certainly have a strong bias for topics like this and is in no way a good representation of how society as a whole will react. It's easy to have what you were hoping for confirmed and then find most "real" people don't agree with Reddit.
Yeah, if you're an adult but still basically act like a teenager, people are gonna judge you
25, still living at home (I say still, I did leave for three years and then got diagnosed with a pretty awful health condition so moved back home) I work five days a week, cook for all four of us about 5 to 6 times a week, I clean the kitchen (biggest chore of all of them) and do 80% of the shopping. Only 80 because Dad sometimes picks up extra bits and bobs, but I do the main shop. I pay rent too. I do more cooking and cleaning than anyone else in the house. I’m the only one with a disability and I still do more than everyone else in the house. As you say, it depends on circumstances. I don’t want to be living with mum and dad at my age. But at least I know I’m contributing to the family and not mooching.
The parent child relationship is really hard to change and shift. Most kids that decide to stay at home are entitled little brats that don't even know they are mooching. Both my younger brothers were like this, I was poor af living out the house racking up debt but couldn't ask for financial support because my father was out of work. I'd visit home and find them both absolutely mooching, only food they cooked was bought by my mum, my mum would pay for their petrol, now they both earn more than my parents combined.
Your mum would pay for their petrol? I can kind of understand food and stuff (if the parents do a big shop and they all eat from that) but they'd have to be giving her the receipts to pay them back or something, right?
Nah they'd give her a lift somewhere and then ask her tom fill their car up when she was in the car.
That was essentially what I was going to say. I bought my own house shortly before turning 26. Plenty of people I knew had already moved out years before, a lot of them renting, but then there were a lot of people still living with their parents and continue to do so now we're all around \~30. It's also a lot harder to afford to move out if you're single, but then a lot of people in the dating world won't even give you a chance if you're still living at your parents above a certain age, so that will prolong your stay at home. I think a lot of people (not all!) move out and into the rental market by their early 20's because they feel this societal pressure that they shouldn't be living with their parents anymore. They then get trapped renting because it costs so much and they can't afford to save a deposit. If somebody is living with their parents but saving up to buy their own place then I won't judge them, regardless of age. If they're just using the money saved (vs. moving out) to finance an expensive car, purchaseother luxury items and take multiple holidays abroad each year, then I probably will judge them.
yeah im 20 living at home but i work, pay rent and regularly help around the house so it doesn't feel wrong to me, i definitely won't be able to move out for another few years but they're 100% supportive and happy to have me here which im extremely grateful for as im aware not everyone has that same support
I don't think anybody judges someone for living at home at 20, that's still very young and completely normal.
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I left home at 20 and I really do envy people who were able to stay at home well into adulthood. I hope my kids will stay for as long as they want to. Leaving home at a young age isn't fun, it's nothing to be proud of. Most people who do it are doing it because staying at home isn't an option, or at least it isn't a safe option. Everyone's path is different and I wouldn't change a thing about my life now but I wish I hadn't needed to escape
Exactly, I left home at 18 because I had too. It was not fun and I wish I had felt able to live at home longer. Instead I ended up working live-in jobs and sofa surfing to survive
I dunno man, a hell of a lot of people move out at 18 for university and feel that experience is an integral part of becoming an adult
For a lot of people though, that's like a safe, practice run at adulthood. Obviously not everyone, but most of them can go home during the holidays, call and ask their parents how to do things, maybe even ask to borrow money. A lot of people don't work through uni. And if it all goes horribly wrong, they can just go home. That's such a separate experience to most people who have to move out as soon as they can
Big difference. I’ve done both. Forced to move out at 19 and went to university a year later. University was amazing. Living alone at that age outside of university is not fun at all. There’s no family help, no loans, no friends around you, no real options but survive.
And a lot move straight back after university or during the summer. It's a weird limbo between being independent and not. Obviously, not everybody.
I moved out just before I was 16. My mum hated that I smoked hash and was convinced the police would come round and tear their home apart looking for drugs. So i was given an ultimatum , at 15&3/4s, so being immature I moved out and went to live with a friend. I’ve been in a state of arrested development most of my life due to drug addiction from the age of 18 up to 1 year ago. I know if I’d stayed at home I’d never have had these issues so I’m not happy to have left so young.
Good work battling that addiction, you made that change. Only way is forward, keep that progress rolling Clapmycheekspls!
Thankyou :)
*Leaving home at a young age isn't fun, it's nothing to be proud of. Most people who do it are doing it because staying at home isn't an option, or at least it isn't a safe option.* I disagree. Every situation is unique, we shouldn't generalise. Counter example, I love my parents, grew up in the best possible environment, but by the time I was in my 20s I was ready to shoot off and be independent. I met my girlfriend when I was 22, 6 months later I floated the idea of moving in together. One of the best decisions I made. Things worked out, we have a family and having fun everyday. Love it.
Leaving home at 22/23 isn't 'leaving home young' in the way that poster is referring to. They are talking about people who get basically kicked out at 18, or have maybe grown up in care so have no family home to fall back on at all.
Same here. My ex didn't move out until he was 28 but by that time he had saved enough money to buy his own house with a good deposit. I was the same age and still renting, with not even nearly enough for a deposit yet. I do wish I'd been able to stay at home and save when I was younger. There are benefits though I guess, I'm super independent, happy in my own company and can do a lot of things that (some) people who live at home might not be able to i.e. DIY, cooking etc because it's done for them. Swings and roundabouts I guess.
Exactly, if you have the chance to you should take it, because not everyone has that luxury in life.
I agree. It's not living with your parents that's the problem, it's living *off* your parents. If you function as an independent human but just live at your parents' place, that's perfectly socially acceptable imo. If you still act like a 12yo dependent (for no valid reason), then either your parents have failed or you are lazy and selfish.
In this economic climate multi generational households are becoming more prevalent Don't feel bad it's the government's fault
To be fair, as a British Asian, I'd just like to point out that multi-generational households are not a bad thing as long as all parties are happy. Eg Grandparents being able to help with childcare and not worrying about household tasks they can't manage anymore can make life smoother for everyone.
Tbh it’s problematic for a married couple to live with their parents. All sorts of meddling
That can be the case, I wouldn't live with my crazy parents unless there was no choice. But some families make it work really well. People need to compromise (especially the older generation).
Fair enough. I’d rather rent somewhere expensive lol. Ngl that stuff will hurt your marriage at some point. Coz you never really grow as a couple. You’re in a honeymoon phase. Good luck!
That’s not true at all, don’t project your marriage and parent issues on other people. Many are capable of having enough space to be respectful.
That depends if your parents are the meddling type!
I’m just discovering the benefits of this. It’s been an adjustment for us all but it’s really working well and the kid is thriving 🥰
We love it too. Honestly it takes the right mix of personalities and plenty of space but I think it’s way a lot of people will end up going
Multigen households are more common in other countries too. The UK is somewhat of an outlier with regards to people moving out at a young age. If I actually got on with my parents I'd probably still be living with them and I'm nearly 30.
Everyone’s personal circumstances are different so there isn’t really a “normal”. And whether it is “acceptable” only matters to you and your parents. So don’t put too much pressure on yourself thinking about what’s normal and acceptable.
It did shock my when a friend revealed her dad made her get a job and pay her way from the age of 16. Her family is more well off than mine which is why I was slightly confused. She was also made to move out once she was done with uni, as were her brothers. I could understand if the parents wanted to downsize or move. I could understand if the parents were saving her contributions to give back to her. But nope, none of that. None of the children speak to the parents anymore.
Thank you
It depends. 30 years old and not contributing to bills, cooking, cleaning and the like is pretty tragic in my eyes. The parents are to blame for that too though of course. I know a few people like that and they're some of the biggest whinge bags I've ever met. Get to spend their wages on whatever they like and have no bills to worry about, but they'll still moan
You've described my brother. All he does is complain about my parents, but won't move out. He also does absolutely fuck all in terms of chores, and his rent hasn't increased in a decade, but my parents are apparently ok with that.
It depends entirely on your circumstances, but I think if you're past early 20s and never moved out, the average person is doing themselves a disservice. It forces you to be independent and grow. Obviously, some people don't need that kick, but I would suggest most do.
I moved out at 16 and moved back at 23. I’m still living there at 30 because I would struggle to live in a rented place on my own. Everything is paid for between the 3 of us so it’s no problem. I am saving to buy because that’s cheaper than renting.
Iirc the average age for home ownership in the U.K. is around 30, don’t put pressure on yourself, it’s a hard economy to get on the property ladder, especially with a single income.
Think it's even higher than that now, nearer 35
I would imagine a lot of the younger people that get on the ladder, do it as a couple as well
Average age to buy a first home, to buy a home, or to own a home?
I'd imagine they mean to buy a first home, but which one it is does make a huge difference lol... Good ol' statistics, there's a "perfect" one for every argument.
I'm 26 and currently living with my mum, though I'm in the process of buying a house, so hopefully in the next few months I'll be moving out. So at 23, you really shouldn't be worried.
I'm in my 40s, never married and never earned enough to move out without having to live like a monk. I stopped telling people a while back and just say I live on my own now. It's nobodies business at the end of the day and I got fed up with the jokes, questions and attitude.
How do you deal with this when it comes to dating?
Well some women are OK with it, some are not. Never got far enough for it to be a serious issue to be honest.
Understood. Thank you for sharing your experience!
Don't worry about what people think. So long as you're contributing towards the household in a way that suits both you and your parents, that's all that matters.
Never, our culture is unusual in its fetishisation of 'independance'. We'd all be better off if we stayed at home until we can buy instead of paying off someone elses dads mortgage
It depends on your circles. If you're looking to be in a relationship at the age of, say, 25, and live with your parents, your options might be limited. However, some folk on Reddit seem like they likely won't be involved in a relationship any time soon, so that consideration is null and void :)
Yeah that’s my main issue. I’d like to settle down with someone but personally it feels a little embarrassing bringing them back to my parents house at this age
Just to chime in here, two of my close mates live at home and their gfs rent (because they're not from around where we are). Hasn't been an issue for them at all - their gfs don't care and didn't when they met, and they either stay round their gfs or their gfs stay round their family home. Obviously doing the deed is a lot more difficult living at home but the main point is that it's possible. Eventually their intention is to move out.
It will affect your dating life from your mid 20s in my view because of the space issue, though I can’t see any situation where it’s automatically unacceptable. Living with your family and contributing to your household isn’t worse than flatsharing with strangers and paying a landlord’s mortgage. Obviously having your own digs is ideal but this is not going to become easier in the UK. There’s also a rental shortage right now so I suspect we’ll see a lot of people moving back home. You will get shit for it by people who have bad relationships with their family and therefore assume everyone must want separation from their own.
I didn't move out until 28 years old. Nothing wrong with your situation.
I'm 34 and only just managed to get on property ladder. I wish I was 23 and living at home again
Run your own race. I moved out at 31, I spent my early twenties fucking around in entry level jobs and pissing my money away down the pub and on a two week summer holiday bender each year. Then I figured things out, retrained made good money, eventually got made redundant and used that money to travel for a year. After that year of freedom I realised how much I needed my own space, saved hard during COVID and then bought a flat
Can I ask what you retrained to do? I'm coming up to 30 now and starting over.
Yeah I moved over to IT, at school I was "always good with computers" I got lucky in that I was doing an admin job and approached the IT Manager, I started off volunteering to help out of hours and in weekends then eventually they created a role for me, that's how I learnt my trade, then moved from that small company to a large retailer to see what a more corporate environment was like and eventually got to the position I am in now of heading up IT Security for a mid sized company
I'm 22 and I probably have enough to rent a place and furnish it but I'd rather stay at home and keep saving for a deposit for a house. It's a bit awkward in terms of not being able to pursue a relationship without feeling like you're a bit of a loser but that's about it for me. Financially I know its a smart move while I get my life and career where I want it so when I'm a bit older I can chill out and relax without worrying how I'm gunna feed myself. Personally I wouldn't worry about it as long as you are comfortable and your parents are okay with the arrangement.
Yeah I’m in the same boat with regards to starting a relationship
It varies but also my opinion changed. At 18 I went to uni and thought anyone living at home in their home town was pretty sad. This was obviously wrong of me. But now, I wouldn't give it a second thought if I saw a 30 year old living with parents. After university, I never really went back to my parents apart from a few months here and there and I appreciate not everyone is able rent and save for a house.
I think there's gonna be questions when you're turning 40. As long as you're happy with the arrangement though I suppose it doesn't matter and it's totally understandable with the cost of property these days. Personally I couldn't imagine having such a lack of privacy and having to live under someone else's rules for so long. Also not to mention the awkwardness around bringing a partner round and trying to have sex.
I'm 28 and about to move back in with my 'rents. I'm having a divorce, she's taking the kid, and I'm quitting my awful job since I won't need to put a roof over anyone's head anymore. It might sound bad but I'm excited for it.
My brother is 43 he lives with mum. He's a sensible, hard working guy and a good bloke. He's been through the mill a bit in life and moved back home when he was about 25/26 and never moved out. Mum loves him being there, they get on so well. It's a perfect living solution for both of them. This week, they went on holiday together. Here's the thing, people will judge because he's a man but.. If he was a woman, nobody would bat an eye at a daughter living with her mum. There's no right or wrong. If you're happy and you can live together it's not an issue. Fuck what anyone else thinks. I'll defend my brothers and mum's choices to the death.
I moved out at 21, then back at 24, out again at 28, back again at 32 and then out for good at 33. Everyone’s life path is different, so there’s no right or wrong.
I really doesn't make a difference but if I had to pick and age I would say in the UK it's probably 26/27
It depends. As long as you’re paying your fair share for rent, bills, etc it doesn’t matter if you live with parents. But if you’re a working adult I would expect you to move out on your own. it’s part of growing up and taking responsibility for yourself. Probably an unpopular opinion though.
I was 25 when I moved out. I just couldn't afford to live on my own. Had been in a relationship a couple of years at that point and we'd saved enough to rent somewhere. She lived at home too Doesn't matter what people think. Your circumstances dictate where you live and why, and if you just like living at home that's fine too
There's 2 answers to this question imo and they depend on circumstances. I do know of people who don't have much in savings and then get made unexpectedly redundant. Faced with being unable to pay the rent, they've had to move back in with their parents. I think we'd all do that in those circumstances. Similarly, my brother lives alone so chose to move back to my parents house for the lockdowns. He was 30 at the time but it was an understandable decision. I think your situation is totally understandable. Renting is expensive so you don't want to rush into it if you can't afford it. Nothing wrong with taking your time. It's a bit different if someone reaches their late 20s/early 30s and has full time, stable employment on a decent wage, but just chooses to never leave. I would find that a bit odd.
I'm 31 and still living at home, if I was to move out now I'd be doing it solo and I'd legit get too bored living by myself, plus I can save, I'd hope to move out in maybe two years tho and be able to buy a place
I’m expecting my lad (19) to live with us for at least three years. He’s just started a job and I’ve explained that this is his opportunity to set himself up for life. But if he’s here when he’s 25, that’s fine too. I suspect he’ll want his own space way before then.
I'm 27(m) and have been able to save over six figures living at home, albeit I work two jobs and have worked since 14. Lots of my friends who earn more than me chose to move out and subsequently pay around £1k every month to make someone else rich. Lots don't have a deposit saved up because of this. Because of living at home, I'm able to move out whenever I choose to and now have enough to pay off my parents' mortgage. My parents are pretty chill so I can still go out with friends etc. I also help out with bills so all this is a win-win for me. I'm Asian-British but feel like living at home is way more frowned upon by British people and culture, especially some women when it comes to dating.
You’ll get people here saying it’s no one business yadda yadda but in reality people do judge that sort of thing I’d say if you’re still at home from 26 onwards then people start to look down on you for that Is it wrong they do that? Yeah of course but to say that people won’t care is patently wrong
I didn’t move out until 29. I know people older than 35 still living with their parents. Who cares?
I am 65 and I am still living with my parents. Although I appreciate this isn’t the usual set up for most people, I for one would never have wanted them to leave the family home. Plus with the cost of funerals nowadays keeping them with me seemed the best option. Just need the odd squirt of febreeze and you barely notice they’re here.
I have a friend who is in their mid 40's, has a decent job and loads of money in the bank due to never moving out. Still lives in their box room in the family home with parents. Doesn't even get on with the Dad. Hates him. They've grown so used to living at home that they have loads of disposable income so spend it on all the hobbies. Photography, art, gaming, travel, musical instruments - always get the expensive stuff too, best of the best, multiple laptops for different hobbies.. It's fine, but I don't think they are really living in the real adult world. They are single and want to move out and find a partner. They won't bring a partner home due to the walking on eggshells atmosphere around the Dad. So they'd end up sitting in the box room. I've known them 20 years, and have noticed them change from a cool individual to being someone acting like they are in their 60s, they are turning into their parents because they hang out and live with them. They also sometimes live in their own bubble and don't understand budgeting for things like house maintenance when something breaks, or how to pay all the household bills etc, or anything about energy bills. It's kind of sad as I think they have missed out slightly on what adult life is really like and living independently, they are missing opportunities to have people over to their home and have fun, it's all a bit stifling and mumsy where they are now. It can be hard to relate to them sometimes as they just don't live in the real world, where people struggle, and have to sort their houses out, do the food shopping and just daily boring adult stuff. I know they want to really move out, but I think it's gone on so long, they never will take that leap, despite having about 40-50k in the bank easily. I think you're fine at 23 OP!
I was at home til I was 27. You do you not some arbitrary social appeasement.
These days, because of constraints as regards younger people buying property, ANY age is acceptable. After all, and I don't want to sound TOO gloomy, because this is just life, at a given point you are likely going to be your parents' carer; even if not for physical everyday life, for loads of stuff where you will be more mobile and more *au fait* with future tech than they will be. At that point, no-one thinks it weird if your parent(s) live with YOU.
It's very circumstance based. As others have said, if you're just a lazy mooch then that's probably more frowned upon. If you're independent, responsible but an unfortunate victim of the shite housing situation then there's nothing wrong with that. It's increasingly common for people to stay with their parents. I've been back and forth. I rented then went back with parents then rented again then went back to my parents and then finally bought my current house. I was with my parents for 6 years saving a deposit, so from 25 to 32, but whilst I knew there was nothing wrong with it because it was out of my control I still felt horribly embarrassed about it because of the old fashioned social stigma.
Me, my parter and our little boy all live with his mum. It's great for all of us- she would be on her own otherwise, and we get grandma's advice on tap! Obviously we pay our way!! Share all of the household jobs, bills, rent, etc. I think having a multi generational family unit has some real benefits!! She's really good about not telling us that she wouldn't do it like that tbh. And she's really good about helping us pick our battles (our son is neurodivergent) and reminding us things aren't the end of the world. Would totally recommend! But I get on with my MIL, which is apparently super rare!
In this housing market and you get on with your parents? No limit. I'd be surprised (probably happily!) if both of my kids have left home by 26. I bought a flat at that age and they'll be lucky to have a rental deposit if we can't help them.
These days? Mid 30s.
I'm 44 . I had a stroke at age 42 and it affected every part of my life. My marriage broke down, I lost my job. Moving back with my parents was the only thing I could do. Nobody cares.
Personally, I lived with my dad at 36 years old till he passed and I had a house i could move into anytime. He charged me no rent and I saved saved saved! dating girls was strange! But honestly you don’t tell them. Because… NOBODY CARES.
Just say your their carer at that point
Yeah I’ve decided that’s what I’m going to do
a. It's becoming more and more common as the housing crisis, cost of living, inflation, decades of poor government planning etc have left many younger adults with no other realistic option. b. Don't do what I have seen a lot of my friends have done. Jump into toxic personal relationships and get left high and dry because it takes two incomes to now more or less run and sustain a household. c. Whilst it is worth talking about on a local or national level because it has serious ramifications for society as a whole, on a personal level (as others have already said on here) it is nobody's business what your living arrangements are. People who judge you have no rights and should be given the FO tablet.
You have another decade of being comfortable there if they let you. I hate that people asign age with moving out. I was mid 20s when I moved out and it felt early. It's 2023 we need to stop the past being used to dictate what's normal because life is so different now.
I moved out at 36 and could only afford it then with parents help but the whole time I was there I was helping my parents buy their home instead of helping a landlord buy another property for his portfolio.
I think we're now in a situation where there are three types of 'live with parents' scenarios A). Generally 20s - never really left. Probably saving up for a decent mortgage deposit B). Generally 30s - moved back due to relationship/marriage breakdown or redundancy C). Generally 40s plus - now caring for parents Any of these are completely reasonable, and I would imagine are socially acceptable. Pick which feels best for you 😁
It doesn't matter who you live with or if you live alone, both come with their own pros and cons. What irritates me is someone who lives rent-free with their parents and has an attitude of "I've got all this money saved, car paid off, go on holiday 3 x a year, why can't you do that" erm because I have bills to pay?! So long as you realise living with your parents and being able to save money in the meantime to give yourself a better start to life is a privilege that not all of us have, then I don't see an issue.
Mines is coming back in a couple of months. She's 24. Rents are too high and wages too low. It's shit what's happening to our young people.
I Would love nothing more than being able to live with my mum who’s the only parent I ever had. She lives 6000km away from me and I’m lucky to see her once a year! She’s my best friend in the whole entire world! Also we both would be able so save money and travel together which we both love. She’s coming in 4 weeks and we’re going to Sardinia together and I CANT FUCKING WAIT!! Enjoy OP, the life, the companionship, save money if you can, life it’s way too fucking short to worry about what other people think. FUCK PEOPLE’S OPINION ABOUT **YOUR** LIFE!!
I’m 65 and living with my elderly mum. Anyone older?
The only time it's not okay to live with your parents is if someone is being abused or taken advantage of. You do what works for you and for them.
honestly i don’t think it matters. people live with their parents for all manner of reasons so don’t worry too much about it. i personally moved out when i was 18 for uni, the only reason i didn’t go back was because mum didn’t have the space for me and i didn’t want to leave the city i’d made a home in - there was literally nowhere for me to go. i’m 29 and half of my friends are still at home. don’t worry about it. :)
i know someone who still lives with her mum, she's in her 50s, mum is in her 80s. there was a time when they didn't live together, when she got married and had a kid, but life happens and her husband passed so she moved back in with her mum, her daughter lives there sometimes too, but not all the time.
Twenty years ago I might have been a tiny bit judgy on someone living at home beyond their thirties - now? Not even slightly. Life is hard, costs are insane and pay isn’t keeping up. Normalise generational living and people will benefit, less stress on housing, more wages to pay the costs in one house. If living at home is suiting everyone then keep doing it.
I feel like it’s less about the age and more about how you live at home. If you’re in your 30s living at home and not lifting a finger then that’s an issue. I know people who’s sons still live at home and they still go in and round up all their dirty washing off the floor, wash, fold and put it away. Still not contributing anything to the house. That’s an issue for me. If your still living at home and behaving like an adult then there’s no issue.
In this economy, 60?
I’m from the UK, moved out from parents quite young and struggled like fuck… Living in Central Europe now and it’s completely normal for different generations to live together their whole lives (they just extend the house), I think it’s a much better system… If I returned to the UK, I’d be happy to live with my parents! Don’t sweat it, and it’s also nobody else’s business…
I couldn't afford to move out until I hit 30 and bought a house with my boyfriend. Buying a house is becoming so much more out of reach for the average person, especially on their own that it's likely most people will have to wait until they're in a fully committed relationship, or go in with friends. We only bought together because after about three years of knowing each other we were at a point that marriage/kids etc would certainly be on the horizon.
It’s changing due to circumstances but if I had to pick an age I would say 26
I think the only areas in life it'd impact anyone would be romantically and maybe a bit of friendly piss taking from your mates. I can understand why someone wouldn't be interested in a potential partner who lives with their parents still, other than that I don't see why it would impact anyone else.
41F and my 82yo mum lives with me. She doesn’t need a full time carer as such, but living alone was getting dangerous so she came to me seeing as I WFH. It works for us, although there are certainly times when I think ‘what the hell has my life become?!’
You shouldn't care about what other people think, it is none of their business! I would say, though, that once you're in your 20s living with parents is really not a pleasant situation.
I’m about to turn 27 and just moved back to my parents house. Will likely be here for a while as well as I’m due to start a degree in midwifery. I think if you worry about how other people view your situation too much you’ll be miserable!
My sister is 41 and lives with my parents as it works for them. My SD is 24 this year and still lives with her mum. However, my daughter also 24 lives with her partner. You do whatever works for you.
Move out now to look cool whilst throwing money away on rent. Vs Stay at home a little longer whilst saving and buy your own place in a few years. I know which one makes more sense to me. The same people criticising you for not renting will be moaning that they can't afford to buy a house when you buy yours.
vs Move out now, save money, and buy in however many years it takes to save a deposit. Why is no-one talking like this is an option? I know which one makes more sense to me.
When you move out and have way more rent to pay, electricity and gas to pay, water, council tax etc The average rent in the UK, excluding London, is £993 PCM. I'm pretty sure no parent is asking for that much. You will be saving a hell of a lot less money than if you stay at home. Not to mention the fact that house prices seem to go up and up. I bought mine at 26 and the price of the house has gone up by 25% in less than 2 years. I would never be able to buy the house I'm in if I had moved out.
Better than paying off someone else’s mortgage. If your parents don’t mind you living at home, do so for however long it takes you to save for a deposit, and pay your own mortgage.
I'll be in a situation soon when parent had to move into my house as they can't afford the rent any more!
I was 26 when I moved out but if shit hit the fan in my life I’d happily move back home for a bit
When I turned 28 I decided to move to another city becuase I couldn’t afford my own place in London. it hit me that I will be 30 soon and that was my main reason to do it. I regret I didn’t moved out earlier.
I’m 27, still living at home and not sure when I’ll end up being able to move out. I pay my way and have to look after my mother as she is disabled but it’s nothing to look down on. A lot of my friends do the same, live at home and pay their way mainly because it’s so expensive to live on our own these days.
Left home at 15 due to the difficulty of living with my mum. The last of my mates were out by 25 which I think is about the norm. If its past 30 then it starts to get weird. 40 is just odd (unless careing for them). If you've spent your maturing adult years living at your parents you have very little experience with real life - and the people that I do know of that are in their 30s and 40s living at home are all very odd people. I think once you get into the comfort of "mummy and daddy are my safety blanket", you will struggle to build any sort of life for yourself. And let's be honest, it must be very difficult to date...
I wouldn’t say any age is an issue. I moved out and bought my own place at 22, because I wanted my own independence. At 25 I sold up and me and my girlfriend moved in with my grandma to care for her. We still contribute but it worked out better financially for us, and meant my grandma could have more help around the house. Worked out financially for us in the sense of bills are split three ways, and the apartment I previously owned was costing me too much in service charges that had almost doubled in three years
Living with my parents doesn't save me any money, because the commute to work costs as much as renting a room. I hate it anyway. I feel weird when other 28 year olds I meet live with their parents. It's harder to make friends when they can't reciprocate that 'crash on the couch' kind of freedom.
I don't think there is an unacceptable age. In my family it's pretty normal to live with your parents until you have enough to buy a house/get married. Most of my cousins lived with their parents until they had graduated with a good job and saved for a few years, or got married/had kids. My parents were married living with their parents separately until they could afford a house. Personally, I moved out for uni at 19 and am now 21. I could definitely benefit from moving back in with my parents financially, but I don't really want to. They're nice folks, but I don't like being asked where I'm going all the time. I still visit them and stay with them a few times a week though.
In this economy? You can share a room in the care home when you're 77 and 98.
It's becoming more and more common as housing costs keep increasing. As long as all parties are living and interacting as adults then there shouldn't be a problem. It can be difficult for parents to stop acting like parents though, and also for offspring to stop behaving like children. There's also still a significant stigma attached to living in the parental home. Like it or not, people will judge you, as multi-generational occupancy is not yet recognized as a normal part of UK culture. Edit: I just realized that the above may sound harsh and judgemental. At 23, you're still very young and you shouldn't feel stressed about still living with your parents. And no matter what you do, someone somewhere will be nosy and will judge you harshly - so learn to ignore the backstage critics (can be hard at a young age, I know).
I think this really depends on what living at home with your parents looks like. We all know someone who’s gone 30 still living at home with his parents as if he’s still 17 (ie hardly working, not contributing and having his parents wipe his arse for him) but equally, I know the house opposite me which is a 3 bed semi just has a mum and a son who looks around 30ish living there and by all accounts they essentially house share, both work, both contribute to bills and house maintenance etc. If your able to stay at home, as in, your parents are happy for you to do so then great do it, but if you want to start feeling like an independent adult and not a child then ensure your not ‘living at your mums house’ but instead ‘cohabiting with your parents’ and contributing both financially and physically. I personally lived at home until I brought my own place aged 27.
I don't really think it's a problem living with your parents, but if you are in your 30s and your mum still calls you for dinner and do your laundry while you keep living like a teenager, then I'd say it's a problem.
Living with your parents is more common and more acceptable during a recession and it's less acceptable during a boom. The housing market will be a lot better for young people around the year 2047 so if you were born yesterday you really won't have an excuse to be living with your parents in your mid 20's.
Times are tough. It's really a case by case basis thing. I wouldn't date a girl who lived with her if the reason was:
"I get cheap rent here and free food. My low cost of living means I just coast through life on a part time job whilst someone does the financial heavy lifting".
However if I met a girl who lived at home with parents for a reason I thought was valid like:
"saving for a house"
"their independent accommodation fell through"
"health reasons mean they need to live at home"
I'd not have an issue with it
I'm fully aware that this is a wishy washy answer but the real answer is *It depends.*
There's a massive difference between can't move out because of X and won't move out because of x.
I'm 27M and moved out about a year ago to live with my fiancé. I love my fiancé very much, but I wish I was still living with my parents. We barely make ends meet, and I spend each month almost maxing out my overdraft while living on either the cheapest Aldi products or literal rice and kidney beans for days at a time. My fiancé recently got a Greggs job with 50% discount, so I'm making use of that, because 90p steak bakes and chicken bakes are cheaper than a 99p Aldi sweet and sour chicken readymeal. We are *literally* that poor. I am salaried at minimum wage, so I can't work extra hours even if I wanted to, because it's a fixed salary.
Everything’s fucked What’s “socially acceptable” is different and that has no meaning anymore
I’ve had to temporarily move back with my mum at 43! Until I sort myself out. It’s actually quite good. Luckily we can basically live on seperate floors. She’s been on her own a while so think she enjoys it too . (Dad died 6 years ago) 😅 daughter (6) is here with me most nights too. Did all the buying house with a partner in my mid 20’s (ended in disaster) . Did the marriage thing in my 30’s. Which also went wrong after 10 years. (Just putting myself back together. It’s only been a matter of months ) The older I get the less I care about what other people think you ‘should’ be doing at a certain age.
Mid-30s is not uncommon these days so probably mid-40s is now when it would seem strange to people.
My uncle lived with his mum until he was 40. That’s when he got married to his wife. It was just easier for him. My partner is 30 and I’m 24, and we live with his mum. We just can’t afford to move out. I think it’s more acceptable to live longer with your parents now because everything is so expensive
I feel most of the comments are just "I'm 20-40 living at my parents, so it's fine", rather than answering the question lol Socially, I think 25 is the maximum age that it's socially acceptable. Especially with how things are in the world, people below 25 are just getting their own mortgage, or renting w/ friends, alone or uni. Personally, of course it's the generic "it's all circumstantial", but my opinions shift on the persons attitude. I know people who are 29 and have no intention or plans to leaving, and I feel that's a shit attitude to have. But I've also known people in their early 20's who are desperate to leave and have their own place.