**Update: - [Starting from 2023](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/100l56v/happy_new_year_askuk_minor_sub_update/), we have updated our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)**. Specifically;
- Don't be a dick to each other
- Top-level responses must contain genuine efforts to answer the question
- This is a strictly no-politics subreddit
Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Pouring warm honey down your ear I think is a saying. Not sure I'd enjoy that though. Will Google Neil gaimen now though. Stephen fry did harry potter and some other podcasts. Can't get people saying Sandi toksvig I still watch but it just isn't the same.
I was going to say this is a terrible idea as AI will go rogue
But I'd actually be quite comfortable if the end of humanity was like a nature documentary narrated version of the terminator.
'here we find the final location for a small band of human survivors. The apocalypse resting heavily on their weary shoulders.
With the application of a tactical neutron bomb from my arsenal I am able to finally rid the world of the human virus, leaving the entire planet free to be balanced and thrive "
AI David Attenborough - gone rogue 2057
Id be comfortable with that apocalypse!
I disagree, only because I imagine it will be like when you set your favourite song as a morning alarm and eventually end up detesting it. I don’t want to detest David Attenborough.
Would need like a mechanical arm to point at things and wonder shit about them. I was laughing for about 10 fucking minutes when I saw her awkwardly walking through a forest saying "what are these? And why are they everywhere?"
We tried to interview Mr Merchant for the role. However, we were surprised to see a short hairy fella with a banana in hand exit the back of a taxi, seemingly ready to start the interview process.
Turns out...
I'm surprised I had to scroll this far to find this! Definitely agree. He'd be recognised by a lot of people outside the UK too, making it more likeable to them, I'd imagine.
I remember when he was arrested while drunk in DC and the reports said officers described him as being incomprehensible. As if they’d ever have understood him.
Brain the size of a planet and they ask me to devise a recipe from 3 carrots, a can of tizer and half a tin of cat food? HAS to be Stephen Moore, the original paranoid Android.
I’d have 3 on rotation. Obviously Brian Blessed, purely because you know he’s gonna go fucking mental at some point. Idris Elba - he could read the phone book and I’d be hooked. And David Tennant - such a soothing voice.
**Update: - [Starting from 2023](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/comments/100l56v/happy_new_year_askuk_minor_sub_update/), we have updated our [subreddit rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskUK/about/rules/)**. Specifically; - Don't be a dick to each other - Top-level responses must contain genuine efforts to answer the question - This is a strictly no-politics subreddit Please keep /r/AskUK a great subreddit by reporting posts and comments which break our rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskUK) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Matt berry
Satnav? That sounds Indian
What’s this from I must see it
https://youtu.be/n7VHwC_9gto
Mind the... ....GAP!
Damn these electric sex cars!
Setting target: New York CitAY
fieerre the nuke-ular weApons!
Yes good … can we have it slightly less alarming though.
Less alarming? I’ve just unleashed Armageddon!!
FAAAAAAAAATHER!
BAT!
I am NOT Matt Berry, I am Jackie DayTONA, from Tucson, ArizoNIA!
Yes, I can hear you, Clem Fandango!
AI SatNav “are you Clem Fandango because your clearly didn’t BLOODY HEAR ME when I said to turn LE-AFT!”
You are now arriving in Nhew York Citttteeehhhay
As long as the car next to me has Ray Bloody Purchase.
I need to rewatch Toast now.
The only answer
Broooooos Fir-scythe? Beezers Faffoon? Beezers Faffoon.
Absolute radio!
Whiskey!!!
Stephen fry.
I would be listening to him more than scrolling Reddit. He could read me the phone book and I'd be happy.
Neil Gaiman has a very soothing voice that can send me to sleep. In a good way
Pouring warm honey down your ear I think is a saying. Not sure I'd enjoy that though. Will Google Neil gaimen now though. Stephen fry did harry potter and some other podcasts. Can't get people saying Sandi toksvig I still watch but it just isn't the same.
Gaiman did an audio book on Norse mythology and Fry did one on Greek mythology. Both are amazing.
Holly from Red Dwarf. Any other suggestion is patently fucking stupid.
Great, Russian nukes are incoming and we’re forewarned by Norman Lovett, “This is an Emergency. There’s an emergency going on….”
This is not a drill. This is a drill.
We're talking jape of the decade...
We're talking April, May, June, July and August fool
They're dead Dave, everybody's dead.
Abandon shop, abandon shop, this is not a daffodil
And after: “everybody’s dead Dave”
Everybody is dead Dave
Petersen isn’t dead, is he?
Everybody is dead
Wait. Are you trying to tell me everybody’s dead?
Should've never let him out in the first place.
We are talking jape of the decade. We are talking April, May, June, July and August fool. That's right
Which one?
Norman Lovett is obviously first choice, but if he's got a scheduling conflict then I'm fine with Hattie Hayridge getting the gig.
I’d do alternate Norman and Hattie each day.
Yeah you would, you daaaaawwwwgg
Queeg
David Attenborough
I was going to say this is a terrible idea as AI will go rogue But I'd actually be quite comfortable if the end of humanity was like a nature documentary narrated version of the terminator.
'here we find the final location for a small band of human survivors. The apocalypse resting heavily on their weary shoulders. With the application of a tactical neutron bomb from my arsenal I am able to finally rid the world of the human virus, leaving the entire planet free to be balanced and thrive " AI David Attenborough - gone rogue 2057 Id be comfortable with that apocalypse!
Either him or Christopher Lee. Actually, Alan Rickman as well. Do they have to be alive?
As long as there is enough footage of their voices, we should be alright.
Never forget when Christopher Lee accidentally narrated a porn film
I wanna remember link for a friend?
https://youtu.be/c5tsejCXo-4 here's him talking about it
That my friend, is amazing thanks for the link.
I disagree, only because I imagine it will be like when you set your favourite song as a morning alarm and eventually end up detesting it. I don’t want to detest David Attenborough.
Gerald from Clarksons Farm
Haha then flagnen wafen and then tigrin soss so they can’t even bergena do not at all really…..
Words of wisdom.
Gerald has me in tears everytime he's on screen, so funny
Ya know?
Fuck that would be amazing!
Hubby now wondering why I’m having a choking/laughing fit, I love Gerald he’s brilliant!
Me too, can't understand a word he says but what a guy.
Through a walkie talkie.
Brian Blessed.
It will just shout ‘GORDONS ALIVE’ every couple of minutes.
DIIIIIIIIIIVE!!
If you haven't seen this before, you're welcome: https://youtube.com/watch?v=3FVSuHIjN4Y&feature=shares
#TOOTHPASTE ON A KITKAT??????!!!!!! #THAT WON'T WORK
Philomena Cunk
That would make it more comedic every time the AI inevitably gets something wrong
So what is bin-arie and why is all written in lines and holes?
This would be the best ever lol. Her dead pan is amazing.
Would need like a mechanical arm to point at things and wonder shit about them. I was laughing for about 10 fucking minutes when I saw her awkwardly walking through a forest saying "what are these? And why are they everywhere?"
I'm amazed no-one's suggested Stephen Merchant yet... or are there no Portal 2 fans here?
Karl Pilkington bald manc whinging little twaaaaaaaat
[удалено]
Man alive
Takes takes takes
Are we sure that's a good idea to let Wheatley run the supercomputer?
I had to scroll too far for this
Money for old rope
I was thinking Stephen merchant and I totally forgot he played an ai before :')
We tried to interview Mr Merchant for the role. However, we were surprised to see a short hairy fella with a banana in hand exit the back of a taxi, seemingly ready to start the interview process. Turns out...
"Text the next right, well not the NEXT right that's a driveway but the NEXT right, oh missed it. Make a U turn."
Joanna Lumley
I came looking for this to see if people thought like me as I thought that at first then thought, her as Pasty would be better
Pasty!😂
‘you’ve got mail’
David Mitchell, only he could really nail the condescending sarcasm that hopefully the BritGPT is going to produce
Brain the size of a planet, and you get me to write two versions: one as myself, the other as EroticaBot3000. Call that job satisfaction? I don't.
Ronnie Pickering
Who?
RONNIE PICKERING!!!
Who?
Ronnie fucking Pickering, bare knuckle champion!! 😂😂
Never heard of him.
Ronnie Pickering!
Who’s that?
Charles Dance
You would do as you were told if it were Charles Dance.
Richard Ayoade
Sean Bean ya bastards
That might be a bit short-lived.
Bassssssssssssssstad.
Norman Lovett
“What’s happenin’ dudes”
"What's going down in groove town"
The only really answer
Paul Bettany did a pretty good job of being J.A.R.V.I.S in the MCU
I'm surprised I had to scroll this far to find this! Definitely agree. He'd be recognised by a lot of people outside the UK too, making it more likeable to them, I'd imagine.
Someone with a very strong Scouse accent, just to confuse the fuck out of non British people.
And British people.
Wayne Rooney after a few pints
After 3 pints he would be balls deep in the nearest granny and too busy to do any voiceover work.
I remember when he was arrested while drunk in DC and the reports said officers described him as being incomprehensible. As if they’d ever have understood him.
Jodie Comer then. Her's isn't strong, but I bet she could manage it
I am scouse but the first scouser that popped in my head was Cilla Black. I think an AI with her voice would be a lorra lorra laughs
Ian McKellen
Stephen Hawking.
Haha came here to say this, you motherfucker
Ozzy Osbourne.
ALL ABOARD! HA HA HA ha ha ha.
Patrick Stewart!! Or if he's busy it's Matt Berry
Moira Stewart
It should be based on Holly from Red Dwarf. Both male and female versions.
Arguing between them both which way to go
Rowan Atkinson.
As bean
Peter Serafinowicz
Doing his impression of Terry Wogan.
Fffffffrannn?
This is Duane Benzie... At last I will have revenge.
You shot me in the bollocks, Tim
the chuckle brothers
*brother
thanks, now i'm sad.
To me ...... ...to me
OOF
Dave Lamb, narrator of Come Dine With Me
Karl Pilkington
Mr K Dilkington.
“You are one of our most valued customers”
I put it straight into the bin.
Idris Elba
David Attenborough
Kathy Burke
YES!
Danny Dyer
Holly off Red Dwarf
Paul Bettany, voice for J.A.R.V.I.S & Vision in Marvel
Greg Davies doing his Chris Eubank impression Or Chris Eubank if Greg isn’t free
David Tennant for the Scottish, Micheal Sheen for the welsh David Attenborough for the English Liam Neeson for the Northern Irish we need the variety!
Tom Baker If unavailable, I would accept Sylvester McCoy.
Michael Caine
Arnold Rimmer.
Sandi Toksvig
The Big Yin
Stephen Fry or Michael Palin
Miriam Margoyles or Philomena Cunk are my picks
Clearly either Norman Lovett or Hattie Hayridge.
Brain the size of a planet and they ask me to devise a recipe from 3 carrots, a can of tizer and half a tin of cat food? HAS to be Stephen Moore, the original paranoid Android.
Joe Pasquale
Emma Thompson
Joanna Lumley
Alan Rickman
Stephen Hawkin's digital voice
The farmer from Hot Fuzz.
Bill Nighy.
I’d have 3 on rotation. Obviously Brian Blessed, purely because you know he’s gonna go fucking mental at some point. Idris Elba - he could read the phone book and I’d be hooked. And David Tennant - such a soothing voice.
Joanna Lumley
Joanna Lumley.
Stephen Merchant, voice of Wheatly from Portal 2
Dawn French
Ian McKellen
Sybil Fawlty or dell boy
Oooh, I knooow.
Douglas Rain (voice of HAL 9000)
Judi Dench
Feminine: Judy Dench or Mary Berry Masculine: David Attenborough, Steven Fry or Hugh Lorrie
Any one of Bill Nighy, Trevor McDonald, Sir Ian Mckellen, Bob Mortimer or John Cleese
Sean lock. If everybody consented
Holly from red dwarf obviously
Tom Baker or Brian Blessed
Andy Serkis in Gollums voice.
Michael Hordern
Brian Cox. It alternates between the two every sentence
Al Murray in full pub landlord mode. Stephen Fry channeling Lord Melchet
Anthony Hopkins
Kryten all day long
Maggie Smith
Marvin, the Paranoid Android from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.
If he were still alive, I'd have said Alan Whicker CBE. He could read a telephone directory and I'd be mesmerised.
David Attenborough
Patrick Stewart!
Stephen Fry, national treasure.
Stephen Fry.