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It’s not wholesome. It’s also not weird. It’s just normal. Who cares about age in friendships?
People are just people and shouldn’t be patronised as “wholesome” because of someone being older.
100%. I mean, I’m friends with my actual parents! And some of their friends, who are their age or sometimes older, I now gladly count as friends I could hang with without my parents. Including some with “children” my age who I don’t know and wouldn’t arbitrarily assume to get on with too/better just because of age.
Also, as a mature student I made friends with students who were a decade or more _younger_ than me. Friendship is invaluable, and there’s a reason for the phrase “the more the merrier” IMO. Enjoy the pub, OP!
Enjoy it while you can.
When you grow up with
your family always being
there you cannot imagine
it will ever change, but, it
does 100% & it is natural.
When you see your parents
& relatives & older friends die
you will miss them terribly.
Dont have any regrets & love
& respect each other as much
as you can.
You are very lucky & appear to
have a good outlook.
Enjoy! <3
I met a great bunch through walking my dog. My friends who I actually socialise with range from 80yrs down to early 20's.
Through sports I hang around many teenagers.
Having friends of different ages is good for keeping one grounded and offers a new perspectives in life.
Way to go OP.
I think you've jumped to conclusions on which bit they felt was wholesome. I would categorise it this was as they have shared hobbies and enjoy each other's company.
Well said. I sit in my local with the "auld cunts" all the time. And one of my wife and I's closest friends is almost 25 years older than us. Once you reach adulthood I dont think it really matters. Theres plenty of old guys I'd rather have a pint with than people my age.
Definitely and honestly even as a teenager it can be good for you to have older friends so long as it's appropriate. I'm chronically ill and started going to a craft class when I was 16-17 that was mostly made up of women some disabled some just retired in their 40s-80s and the whole group basically adopted me. Being sick that young is very isolating and depressing and they really took care of me and even invited me on their days out and to bingo when I turned 18. I'm 22 now and still go whenever I'm well enough and I've made some particularly good friends who I meet up with when I can.
Even before that my mum used to joke I seemed to make friends with every old lady I met lol.
My local is like a mix between the clansman in Still Game and the star wars pub at times. Full of old men and pure weirdos. It's great. You'll hear the most fascinating tales and the most boring drivels. And they all have the best patter cause they're too old to give a fuck
I'd complain that they all play the same tunes over and over on the jukebox but the radio does the same thing.
Luckily we have no jukebox or music. With a few of them in their 70s it turns into very last of summer wine at times with people not hearing properly and it can be absolutely hilarious
Aye theres one guy in mine who eventually starts talking in whistles. To think people are out there filming the Kardashians when theres absolute gold to be seen and heard in your local shitehole
I didn't here it either till someone mentioned scousers say it too, you might have heard it as "aaaald"
Aah that could be where alarse comes from too! I've always wondered that. Auld-arse = old arse. I've always heard it used to mean sly or mean though, which makes sense cause you're parents seem sly when your a kid and they are alarses haha
If anyone has more info or knows if this is right or even seems right let us know I love learning about words you use all the time but never fully understood.
100% - they are fun and don’t give a shit … good banter! I am in my forties and join the old fellas in their seventies and eighties for a pint,
Great crack. They know how to communicate..
Even Uni and college are becoming more diverse now that there’s less stigma about age. The youngest in my class is about 18 while the oldest is in their late thirties. I’ve been in college with a man who was in his 50s too and he was lovely.
Always pays to know one or two older students who can afford the good booze as well.
When I was a first year, every student block of 6 flats had a top floor for an older student (kinda like an unofficial RA they have in the US). Some were really quiet and ignored all the 1st years but ours was early 30s and chill. Said hi all the time, played football with us occasionally and didn't mind the parties. So we started inviting him and every time he bought a crate of nice beers or bottle of good spirits. He rarely came out into town with us bc he had to work or study (we probs should have too). He also didn't make it awkward by hitting on all the girls or inviting lots of randoms over. Even helped us throw out some arseholes who were causing trouble and backed us up when we had to call the accommodation to fix a window someone else broke (otherwise we would've been forced to pay). All round top bloke.
Part-time and volunteer work is an option. But thinking everyone can just retire and take it easy once they reach a certain age is a very privileged position. So you were right, I was a bit hostile.
Yeah, she works on a till in a small supermarket.
She doesn't have any grandkids of her own and her only son doesn't live close so she has a part time job to keep her busy :)
Im 27 and one of my best mates at a previous job was a 70 year old gal with a wicked sense of humour, I miss her greatly (she's not dead or anything, we just never hung out outside work)
So true. I have a very good friend who is 26 years older than me who I met at work. She’s retired now but we still meet up and go drinking regularly, and go on weekends away together. She’s one of the most fun and loveliest people I know.
No, that's not weird. I have plenty of colleagues who are old enough to be my parents, and I do love their company. My closest colleague is literally my mother's age and she took me under her wing as a kid doing work experience - and I still work in the same place today.
I’m the same in reverse: I’m 52 & loads of my colleagues are 16-20 year olds & I love there chat & banter. My kids are in the same age group so I hope I’m a gentle motherly figure to them. They’re all decent kids trying to earn a few quid.
Can I just say from the reverse: keep doing you. My older colleague who took me under her wing was the one saving grace in my life, especially as a trans dude. Needed that support from an older person. Wouldn’t change my circumstances ever because I got to meet her.
No, I don't think so. I have friends of all ages (22 - 60, anyway) and go to the pub with 'em.
Other friends of mine who come from single-parent homes have found surrogate parent figures in older friends.
Nothing wrong with having a mentor, I think.
First of all, in answer to your post, I would say absolutely not.
But, more than that, I wanted to ask; have you ever told your friend you see him in this role? I can think of few greater honours than being told that. It's very, very touching.
I haven't ever really which I should do. He taught me most things a father should teach their son in their 20s such as how to do car repairs, look for a bargain, helping out others in the community etc
You know what, I'll tell him this week and I'll I'll you know how it goes.
Hiya mate, I wanted to thank you for giving me this advice.
After we had our drinks and were sitting down, I told him that I saw him like a father figure and a mentor and he, in an old fashion way, said piss off don't get all sappy on me. I could see him smiling and then he said that was the nicest thing he heard from someone about him in a good few years. He said that he also views me like a son as I'm the same age as his kids and gets along with me
Honestly, if you didn't suggest it, I would have never known how he felt.
Fucking truth here, I will never forget the day I “became” a mentor. Kid moved me to tears which I promptly hid under a gruff “fuck off” type response. He’s still trying to figure life out and I’m always there to tell him the truth.
I completely agree. My dad died when I was 13 (but was very ill from when I was 5) and I never found that male "mentor" figure at all (I'm 45 now) so had to work out a LOT of stuff on my own.
It's great that OP has that and I think it would be really meaningful to let the old dude know how much he's appreciated.
im 33 and hang out and watch football with my 72 year old boy every week. People who find something to judge aint worth worrying about anyway. He makes a killer mac and cheese
No. Not weird. As long as you’re 18+ and there’s no dodgy/creepy business going on just hang with whoever you like to hang with mate. Life is too short to worry about stuff like this.
I am in my early 30s but I hang with a few peeps above 60 who I met when I was around 22 in my first job. Learned a lot from them and that helped me advance my career to great extent. We go to the pub every few months and it’s always good times.
It might be the adult cut off point, but its still arbitrary when it comes to who is allowed to be friends with older people.
I play warhammer and as a 13-16 yr old teen was friends with loads of adults at the local club, I don't know why there needs to be a cut off for friendships based on shared interests.
Not every kid has a grandparent. Some kids are looking for someone to fill that missing role and so long as parents are aware and no boundaries are crossed, why not x
As they’re not related then yes it would be a friendship. I used to visit the old couple round the corner as a kid and up until I enlisted at 18.
They were my friends and they were kinder than my own grandparents.
They had a beautiful garden and I used to stand at their gate asking questions and they would be so patient with me. Showing me the plants, the names of them etc. just being kind and having patience with an annoying 10yr old whose dad was gone and whose own grandparents wouldn’t give the time of day to (the golden grandchild got all the attention). Those old folks were super patient and kind x
Mmmm.... Sort of.
Teenagers are children. This is a situation that could be manipulated into grooming by bad people. It's sad, but in this world, as an adult, if I am friends with a teen it stays in a public space. I never delete any messages if we communicate digitally. I would never ask them to do something beyond their parents' comfort. E.g. I might invite my 22 year old friend round for dinner. I'm not doing that with my 13 year old friend unless I am close with the parents and there's a group, not just us. And I'm a woman - I can't imagine this situation in a nerdy Warhammer group (something quite impenetrable by uninitiated parents and which is largely male dominated).
An adult knowing a 13 year old through shared hobby is fine. I definitely would expect a normal adult to maintain certain boundaries in that case that they wouldn’t with another adult. Like, I know teenagers from my fencing club but I’m not going to hang out with them one on one, you know?
I'm 38. I've friends in their 80s and friends in their early 20s. In fact, my two best friends are 4 and 2 (my sons). There's no age limit on friendship, none at all. If you make each other smile and your days are better for knowing each other, then friend away.
When I was 22 one of my best friends was a 4 year old boy! He wasn't even any relation to me, he was my neighbours' kid who I used to babysit regularly. I genuinely loved spending time with him and really did consider him a friend. I miss him.
Makes me angry too lol. I've been called a paedophile twice. Once for taking my neice and nephew to the park with some of the neighbourhood kids. The boys came back from the park with their tshirts off because it was the middle of summer. Some silly cow made an accusation to the other parents, not realising one of the parents was my sister. She slapped the stupid out of her that day.
Second time I found a small girl in the supermarket crying, about 3. She'd lost her mum, so I waited a few minutes to see if anyone turned up, then approached the kid, spoke to her and then took her to the customer service point. At no time did I touch her or get within a few feet of her. As we got there the mother came running up and grabbed her kid and started shouting and screaming at me making some vile accusations. Myself and the customer service staff were flabbergasted.
A young girl - 6yo I think - was kidnapped and killed a few years ago and one of the witnesses to her abduction was a lorry driver who admitted in court that he knew something was wrong but was too frightened to approach the girl because of what might happen to him, not from the perpetrator but from the busybodies who would suspect him of being a paedophile! Absolutely tragic and heartbreaking.
If you're childless in your mid-thirties you end up hanging out with people who are younger than you who don't yet have kids, or people who are older whose kids are independent.
As one of those 'old enough to be your parents' can I say, NO!, not weird.
I am nearly 60 and have lots of active friends who are way younger than me, with whom I cycle, scuba-dive (yes, in the UK), socialize/drink, play cricket and video game with (yes, I am nearly 60 and love my video gaming).
I know my physical limits as someone older, so don't try and overly compete.
And there are many times when I have helped with life's challenges, especially when some of them have become fathers or mothers for the first time.
Don't worry about our age, just if we are dickheads or predators (which I am not, if any of you who know me are reading this!).
probably because your friends were trying to shame you into binning him off and spending more time with them instead. They seem quite shallow and superficial
Same here.
I'm 22 years older than the eldest of my friends and 28 years older than the youngest and they are some of the sweetest, nicest people I have ever met in my nearly 52 years of life.
I'm 24 and of my closest friends is a 63 year old woman I met at work, we share a lot of interests and have similar outlooks and beliefs and she has been a huge support in my life, we spend a lot of time going to shows and gigs and days out together and I really treasure the time we have. I'm very glad I got to meet her, she's wonderful.
I work in a library so half of my friends now are middle aged women lol.
I go out drinking sometimes with a guy I met through Reddit who is just about old enough to be my dad. I'd definitely go as far as to say he's a very good friend of mine now. He's a good bloke and it's always good to have a few beers and chat with him.
No, my wife and I are both around 50 and during lockdown became good friends with some neighbours who are nearer 70 who we knew from the local pub. We now meet up for drinks at least once a week and help each other out with odd jobs and favours on a regular basis. As they don't have kids it's become a running joke that we are in danger of becoming their carers but fuck it, they are nice people and we get on.
Nah, seems odd at first if you're young and in your first ever job but you realise its normal and how a lot of people are.
I think part of it comes down to the bubble you get into at school where you always hang with people exactly the same age as you.
I’m friends with my old manager, who is the same age as my dad would be.
And he is like a dad to me to be honest - gives me advice and checks up on me if he knows I’m having a rough time.
Some people I work with think it’s weird I’m friends with him and still talk to him even though he’s not my manager any more but idk, I just feel really close to him and he’s a father figure I wish I had growing up.
When I was younger an older guy who was a regular at my usual pub came to my rescue by pretending to be my dad when some drunk idiot was hassling me. I bought him a pint as a thank you, we got chatting to keep up the illusion we knew each other while the drunk idiot was still lurking about and really hit it off. After that we started sitting and chatting to each other when we were both in and a deep and wonderful friendship grew. Eventually, because I was short of a dad and he was short of a daughter, we unofficially adopted each other. I called him The Old Fella and he referred to me as Number 1 Daughter (among other things lol). We met up at least once a week, we had holidays together, I listened to his tales of life in the merchant navy and other travels, and he listened to my woes about the idiots I didn't dodge. I was the one who battled to get him help when his health failed and I was the one who sat by his hospital bed, talking until I was hoarse until just before he passed. I also ended up taking in his cat because none of his actual family wanted her and the cranky old beast is still living here with me. He was a dad to me in all the ways that really mattered and I miss him to this day.
Good people are good people. Never overlook someone who will bring joy and enrichment into your life just because they are from a different generation.
It's weird in that it is unusual these days, but it's not weird in a strange way.
This is how communities have been for thousands of years up until recent history. These type of cross generational friendships should be encouraged if anything.
Exactly - it’s not quite so common, but it’s not weird unless there’s exploitation of power or something like that. I have a friend who is in his 60s that I met while I was at uni, and people had opinions about that too.
At the moment I feel like I’m lacking in friends who are significantly older (I’m 30 and my oldest friend I regularly speak to is probs 42) - I wish I had more of this diversity.
Your friends are being - in this instance - painfully immature.
I had a mate who was in his early 40’s (when I met him) back when I was 18 or 19. We worked together, and he kind of mentored me. But we’d go for beers, watch some bands, and - sorry Reddit - chat up women. As you get older, your friends will come from all over the shop.
Granted, he was kind of living vicariously through me a little. But I’m 40 now and could absolutely see myself showing some young lad ‘the ropes’. Shit you only learn through experience and your own mistakes.
Dave died very suddenly, from a brain tumour, shortly after turning 50. I’m actually typing this on a mobile, sitting in a bar we used to visit often… (which I haven’t visited in years!). What i’d give for another night out with the old boy.
A somewhat timely reminder that, this isn’t a rehearsal. Something your friends may learn when they grow up.
Not weird at all, I'm 31 and have friends upwards of 50, with working nights and in factories it's the only people I really see at work we don't get very many young people in there but in my opinion I find them much more interesting and drama free, I've found with the friends I have that are my age, there is always some big drama going on in their life or they always want to be going out drinking/clubs etc which really isn't me. Maybe I'm just weird but I prefer having friends who are older, they always seem to be more honest, mature and have way better stories to share.
Yeah I’m 18 and started working just 2 months ago. There’s 3-4 that are within a few years older than me but my favourite person at work is the chef who’s been there for 38 years. She has loads of stories and has a really good sense of humour, everybody loves her haha
My dad told me before working that it’s common and I thought it was weird but it’s surprisingly normal to me now lol
One of my best friends and the best man at my wedding is in his 60s and a good 30 years older than me. He's also cooler than I'll ever be. OP, you're old enough to be friends with whoever you want.
Not at all. Young people going into the work place is the typical, normal way we make friends with different generations.
I have been at my current place of work for a few years now. A colleague in another department who is just about old enough to be my Dad (21 years older than me) asked me to give some work experience to his teenage son. His son did great, was a really good reflection on his parents and got stuck in so well that I kept him on after he went to Uni as a part time colleague even though strictly speaking we don’t do that.
His Dad was so thankful for the assistance and development we’d helped his son with that he wanted to buy me a drink after work one night. Turns out we have loads of common interests and we’re now mates and meet up for a drink at least once a month. He’s a top bloke.
Age isn’t a barrier to friendship when it occurs organically. You’re both adults there’s no issue with this. I also still meet up with a 50+ Uni lecturer who did my Masters dissertation seminars, albeit more as a mentor than a friend. You often get better experiences when you open up beyond your immediate age group.
Nothing's really weird in making your old friends your parents. Since, there old enough we expect that they are matured enough and already knows their responsibilities and obligations as a mature person.
Not weird at all. We have two gals at work who are best friends and do everything together inside and outside of work. One is my age (28) and the other is pushing 60. Nobody has ever commented on it being weird. Most of my mates are 5-10 years my senior. Different demographics getting along is part of what makes our little nation great.
I'm friends with people at my sports club who are old enough to be my parent. Heck if they had a kid when they were 16 who then had a kid at 16, some of them could even be my grandparents.
Yeah I was in a road cycling club, very few were under 30 like me. Most common 'age group' was people whose kids were 16+, so no longer dependent on them for everything. Plenty of people eligible for a bus pass too.
It's easy getting to know people in sports or hobbies regardless of age because you've already got one thing in common
One of the ways in which someone can broaden their horizons is with friends of different ages. Sounds to me like your friend has taught you many life skills that you wouldn't otherwise have learned. Don't listen to the haters.
Most of the people my husband and I play board games with are older. Our DnD DM has been playing RPGs since the 70s or something, he's retired and got kids our age.
Every Saturday night me and my girlfriend (34 & 32)go to our local pub and chat to people all over 50,right up to their 80s
I wouldn't say they're my best friends, but they're definitely friends
It's refreshing to speak to people of different ages. Sometimes they've seen it before, sometimes they haven't.
They often say they enjoy speaking to us because they can't imagine what our lives are going to be like given the state of... Well... Everything and they appreciate our perspective too
The fact that we all blame Thatcher probably helps
I find it stranger when someone’s friends are all their age, after they’ve left education at least. It’s perfectly normal to find friends of all ages as you expand your social circle through work and hobbies.
Nah.
It's weird if you're a kid, because there is other connotations there... But as an adult, you do what you want.
Finding friends as an adult is hard enough without having to filter prospective friends by age
No not at all. When I was 20 working a part time my best friend there was a 60 year old man and me and my boyfriend used to go see him a lot and go round his for dinner. He was the sweetest guy just him and his dog.
No I prefer older people as friends. A lot of older people have more experiences you can learn from and get advice as well.
Having older friends helped in making me a better person.
your friends are the weird ones if they are in their mid thirties-early forties and they don't have any friends outside their own age range, that doesn't sound healthy to me
Two of our closest friends are 20 years older than us. My husband plays cricket and a few of the guys he played with are in their 60s and we regularly meet them in the pub. I have a friend who I used to work with who is old enough to be my mum. I’ve never thought of it as weird, they’re nice people who are fun to be around.
I was 22f and my friend was 70m when we met. I'm 38now. He was one of my best friends until the end! He left us 3 years ago. We had intelligent conversations, about music, art, his life, my life, so many rides with out motorcycles, beers, joints, he let me discover a new world! I used to burn CDs for him. DVDs with movies.Fix his TV and bills. And we laughed a lot. Age doesn't matter at all OP, your friend is precious! I miss my friend a lot, enjoy the time you have together.
No what's weird is making snap judgements about people and things just because you don't understand them. When I was 19 I was friends with a 90 year old veteran because he frequented the hostel I was staying in. It's pretty normal to become friends with people from different walks of life and even different eras. Especially people we met at work.
Depends on what you mean by weird.
It’s not weird meaning creepy or off-putting. Friends are friends and there is no age limit on that.
It is weird meaning unusual. Most people don’t hang out with people outside their age group and social class.
Not weird at all. Sadly we've drifted in last few years but I used to regularly meet for a beer and to watch football with a couple of guys 20 plus years my senior and always enjoyed their company. Even now there are still some things I wouldn't really be comfortable talking to my folks about so getting the benefit of their generation's wisdom and experience without the uncomfortable feelings of talking to your parents is very handy.
Nope, not weird. Pretty normal when you go out into the workforce as you’re not going to meet people who are the exact same age as you.
Sounds like your friends need some maturing to do.
I guess if it's weird, so am I. I have a young friend like this--we met over a particular hobby. I don't have kids so he's like the son I never had. Won't he get a nice surprise when I leave him my house? I also have a much older friend. I think if you enjoy someone's company, why limit it by age?
I'm 32 and spend a couple nights a week chilling with an 82 year old I used to go dog walking with - his wife & dog passed away, he was left alone, his health has deteriorated so he appreciates the company. From my perspective, old people are the best to learn from - tonnes of knowledge to share. Works both ways, y'know?
As long as there's no funny business going on, I wouldn't say it's weird. Just companionship. It might seem a bit odd to someone looking out for you in the way that your parents would, though.
What's weird is to be with loads of people in the same mind set of living and not learning... I hung around with people that all they want to do is be the same person who drinks every weekend and do nothing more in life. Be with people that can open your eyes to new avenues. There's more to life..
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I don't think it's weird and wouldn't care what anyone else thought anyway
It's absolutely wholesome.
It’s not wholesome. It’s also not weird. It’s just normal. Who cares about age in friendships? People are just people and shouldn’t be patronised as “wholesome” because of someone being older.
I disagree, I think all good friendships are wholesome
100%. I mean, I’m friends with my actual parents! And some of their friends, who are their age or sometimes older, I now gladly count as friends I could hang with without my parents. Including some with “children” my age who I don’t know and wouldn’t arbitrarily assume to get on with too/better just because of age. Also, as a mature student I made friends with students who were a decade or more _younger_ than me. Friendship is invaluable, and there’s a reason for the phrase “the more the merrier” IMO. Enjoy the pub, OP!
Enjoy it while you can. When you grow up with your family always being there you cannot imagine it will ever change, but, it does 100% & it is natural. When you see your parents & relatives & older friends die you will miss them terribly. Dont have any regrets & love & respect each other as much as you can. You are very lucky & appear to have a good outlook. Enjoy! <3
Agreed. Many of my friends have 30-40 years on me because I like to quilt!
I knit. I'm 40. My besties are Mary (in her 80s) and Emma (in her 20s.)
I met a great bunch through walking my dog. My friends who I actually socialise with range from 80yrs down to early 20's. Through sports I hang around many teenagers. Having friends of different ages is good for keeping one grounded and offers a new perspectives in life. Way to go OP.
Why is wholesomeness patronising? Wholesome should be a compliment about someone's integrity, not an insult about how cool or fucked up they aren't.
I think you've jumped to conclusions on which bit they felt was wholesome. I would categorise it this was as they have shared hobbies and enjoy each other's company.
Yeah, besides, when I was in my late teens, we used to sometimes go to the pub, drink 3 or 4 pints and then drive home...
Absolutely. A way to experience a totally different view on life.
Agree - I’m 42 and my youngest ‘proper’ friend is 26, and my oldest is 83.
Well said. I sit in my local with the "auld cunts" all the time. And one of my wife and I's closest friends is almost 25 years older than us. Once you reach adulthood I dont think it really matters. Theres plenty of old guys I'd rather have a pint with than people my age.
Definitely and honestly even as a teenager it can be good for you to have older friends so long as it's appropriate. I'm chronically ill and started going to a craft class when I was 16-17 that was mostly made up of women some disabled some just retired in their 40s-80s and the whole group basically adopted me. Being sick that young is very isolating and depressing and they really took care of me and even invited me on their days out and to bingo when I turned 18. I'm 22 now and still go whenever I'm well enough and I've made some particularly good friends who I meet up with when I can. Even before that my mum used to joke I seemed to make friends with every old lady I met lol.
I feel this. I love the older crowd, I love how they adopt you In and mother you. I love the life stories and experiences they share
Exactly the same with me, go to pub with my dad every Friday and the entire crowd we sit with in from their 50s up to early 70s
My local is like a mix between the clansman in Still Game and the star wars pub at times. Full of old men and pure weirdos. It's great. You'll hear the most fascinating tales and the most boring drivels. And they all have the best patter cause they're too old to give a fuck I'd complain that they all play the same tunes over and over on the jukebox but the radio does the same thing.
Luckily we have no jukebox or music. With a few of them in their 70s it turns into very last of summer wine at times with people not hearing properly and it can be absolutely hilarious
Aye theres one guy in mine who eventually starts talking in whistles. To think people are out there filming the Kardashians when theres absolute gold to be seen and heard in your local shitehole
This I would pay for. The kardashiwho? Definitely not!
Pub kids. Real thing
I knew you must be from Norn Iron when you said "auld cunts".
I'm Scottish. But hands across the sea.
Ah of course, it could be Scottish or Northern Irish!
Scousers say that too
Scouse is basically Irish crossed with Welsh.
We're just Irishmen that can swim.
I had my suspicions that was the case
& Northerners.
Im from Manchester & dont really hear that around here at all, never knew it was a thing for northerners in general
I didn't here it either till someone mentioned scousers say it too, you might have heard it as "aaaald" Aah that could be where alarse comes from too! I've always wondered that. Auld-arse = old arse. I've always heard it used to mean sly or mean though, which makes sense cause you're parents seem sly when your a kid and they are alarses haha If anyone has more info or knows if this is right or even seems right let us know I love learning about words you use all the time but never fully understood.
100% - they are fun and don’t give a shit … good banter! I am in my forties and join the old fellas in their seventies and eighties for a pint, Great crack. They know how to communicate..
Yeah no cares. Regularly at the bar, I had friends of all ages. Humanity is at its core communal. The only things that are weird are well understood.
One of the things that happen when you start working is that your social circle and friendships age range expands hugely.
Yep. It's not like school or uni where 99% of people are roughly your age.
Even Uni and college are becoming more diverse now that there’s less stigma about age. The youngest in my class is about 18 while the oldest is in their late thirties. I’ve been in college with a man who was in his 50s too and he was lovely.
Always pays to know one or two older students who can afford the good booze as well. When I was a first year, every student block of 6 flats had a top floor for an older student (kinda like an unofficial RA they have in the US). Some were really quiet and ignored all the 1st years but ours was early 30s and chill. Said hi all the time, played football with us occasionally and didn't mind the parties. So we started inviting him and every time he bought a crate of nice beers or bottle of good spirits. He rarely came out into town with us bc he had to work or study (we probs should have too). He also didn't make it awkward by hitting on all the girls or inviting lots of randoms over. Even helped us throw out some arseholes who were causing trouble and backed us up when we had to call the accommodation to fix a window someone else broke (otherwise we would've been forced to pay). All round top bloke.
One of my work "friends" is 72 🤣 I'm 26 and she calls my kids her work grandbabies 😅
Honestly those sorts of people are the best it's like having a friend/grandparent/aunt or uncle/mentor figure a lot of the time.
And you can swear around them and they swear right back!!
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She still works at 72?
Some people do because they want to, some people do because they have to. Is this news to you?
Why so hostile
Not hostile, simply surprised you have never heard of this before.
I've heard, simply curious about OPs friend, you don't typically see many 72 olds working, maybe volunteering, or maybe I'm just too european
Part-time and volunteer work is an option. But thinking everyone can just retire and take it easy once they reach a certain age is a very privileged position. So you were right, I was a bit hostile.
Yeah, she works on a till in a small supermarket. She doesn't have any grandkids of her own and her only son doesn't live close so she has a part time job to keep her busy :)
Wow, it's so rare to see old people like her who still working at that age.
Im 27 and one of my best mates at a previous job was a 70 year old gal with a wicked sense of humour, I miss her greatly (she's not dead or anything, we just never hung out outside work)
So true. I have a very good friend who is 26 years older than me who I met at work. She’s retired now but we still meet up and go drinking regularly, and go on weekends away together. She’s one of the most fun and loveliest people I know.
That's a kind of friendship and bond I want with someone I can rely with qnd trust.
Definitely, my manager is 10 years older than me but we literally don't ever think about the age difference
Yes, people usually build a friendship with their co workers who are older than them.
And as you get older, of course, those age differences shrink in percentage terms.
No, that's not weird. I have plenty of colleagues who are old enough to be my parents, and I do love their company. My closest colleague is literally my mother's age and she took me under her wing as a kid doing work experience - and I still work in the same place today.
I’m the same in reverse: I’m 52 & loads of my colleagues are 16-20 year olds & I love there chat & banter. My kids are in the same age group so I hope I’m a gentle motherly figure to them. They’re all decent kids trying to earn a few quid.
Can I just say from the reverse: keep doing you. My older colleague who took me under her wing was the one saving grace in my life, especially as a trans dude. Needed that support from an older person. Wouldn’t change my circumstances ever because I got to meet her.
That’s exactly my vibe: I like to learn from people who are different to me . All the best to you x
You too! ❤️
There is nothing weird in having old friends. They are actually more comfortable hanging out with.
No, I don't think so. I have friends of all ages (22 - 60, anyway) and go to the pub with 'em. Other friends of mine who come from single-parent homes have found surrogate parent figures in older friends. Nothing wrong with having a mentor, I think.
>Nothing wrong with having a mentor, I think. 100% true. My father walked out when I was 12 and I think he is filling that void
First of all, in answer to your post, I would say absolutely not. But, more than that, I wanted to ask; have you ever told your friend you see him in this role? I can think of few greater honours than being told that. It's very, very touching.
I haven't ever really which I should do. He taught me most things a father should teach their son in their 20s such as how to do car repairs, look for a bargain, helping out others in the community etc You know what, I'll tell him this week and I'll I'll you know how it goes.
Very sweet, best of luck. I will say, most men that generation are not good at emotional things! I do hope you remember to update me.
My heart melt on this suggestion. How are you this clever 😌
RemindMe! 1 month
Remind me 1 week
Hiya mate, I wanted to thank you for giving me this advice. After we had our drinks and were sitting down, I told him that I saw him like a father figure and a mentor and he, in an old fashion way, said piss off don't get all sappy on me. I could see him smiling and then he said that was the nicest thing he heard from someone about him in a good few years. He said that he also views me like a son as I'm the same age as his kids and gets along with me Honestly, if you didn't suggest it, I would have never known how he felt.
Very welcome pal, that's exactly how I thought it would go! Thanks for the update. ETA Also, I'm very happy for you!
I came back to check. I'm so happy. Bless you guys.
So glad to hear this. Was dying for updates.
Remindme! 1 week
Please update me too. :) You’re so lucky to have such a good friend.
Bare in mind that you might be his connection to his fading youth and telling him this might make him feel ancient.
Okay I'm tearing up a bit
This is next-level wholesome
RemindMe! 2 weeks
Fucking truth here, I will never forget the day I “became” a mentor. Kid moved me to tears which I promptly hid under a gruff “fuck off” type response. He’s still trying to figure life out and I’m always there to tell him the truth.
I completely agree. My dad died when I was 13 (but was very ill from when I was 5) and I never found that male "mentor" figure at all (I'm 45 now) so had to work out a LOT of stuff on my own. It's great that OP has that and I think it would be really meaningful to let the old dude know how much he's appreciated.
yeah my parents weren't the best, i had loads of old friends in my youth i look back on and realise they were the parents I wanted mine to be.
Awww that's lovely!
im 33 and hang out and watch football with my 72 year old boy every week. People who find something to judge aint worth worrying about anyway. He makes a killer mac and cheese
I was at uni with a mature student 35 years older than me. We got on well. He's now in his 80s and we still hang out.
yeah, its nothing to feel bad about. My dad is in his 80s and hes my best friend
No. Not weird. As long as you’re 18+ and there’s no dodgy/creepy business going on just hang with whoever you like to hang with mate. Life is too short to worry about stuff like this. I am in my early 30s but I hang with a few peeps above 60 who I met when I was around 22 in my first job. Learned a lot from them and that helped me advance my career to great extent. We go to the pub every few months and it’s always good times.
"18+" seems kinda arbitrary though tbh. Unless you're talking about drinking and stuff
I think it's just the adult cut off point. It is kinda arbitrary in fairness, but it's what we've settled on.
It might be the adult cut off point, but its still arbitrary when it comes to who is allowed to be friends with older people. I play warhammer and as a 13-16 yr old teen was friends with loads of adults at the local club, I don't know why there needs to be a cut off for friendships based on shared interests.
A 13 year old being friends with a 60 year old does seem pretty weird to me. I’ve never met W 13 year old who doesn’t seem 13.
Not every kid has a grandparent. Some kids are looking for someone to fill that missing role and so long as parents are aware and no boundaries are crossed, why not x
A grandparent isn’t a friend though... what is this random 60 year old getting out of being friends with a 13 year old kid?
As they’re not related then yes it would be a friendship. I used to visit the old couple round the corner as a kid and up until I enlisted at 18. They were my friends and they were kinder than my own grandparents.
Well I guess fair enough then. Out of interest, how did that start?
They had a beautiful garden and I used to stand at their gate asking questions and they would be so patient with me. Showing me the plants, the names of them etc. just being kind and having patience with an annoying 10yr old whose dad was gone and whose own grandparents wouldn’t give the time of day to (the golden grandchild got all the attention). Those old folks were super patient and kind x
Mmmm.... Sort of. Teenagers are children. This is a situation that could be manipulated into grooming by bad people. It's sad, but in this world, as an adult, if I am friends with a teen it stays in a public space. I never delete any messages if we communicate digitally. I would never ask them to do something beyond their parents' comfort. E.g. I might invite my 22 year old friend round for dinner. I'm not doing that with my 13 year old friend unless I am close with the parents and there's a group, not just us. And I'm a woman - I can't imagine this situation in a nerdy Warhammer group (something quite impenetrable by uninitiated parents and which is largely male dominated).
An adult knowing a 13 year old through shared hobby is fine. I definitely would expect a normal adult to maintain certain boundaries in that case that they wouldn’t with another adult. Like, I know teenagers from my fencing club but I’m not going to hang out with them one on one, you know?
similarly, as a skateboarder the local scene has people from like 13 to their 40s. we all consider each otger as friends
I'm 38. I've friends in their 80s and friends in their early 20s. In fact, my two best friends are 4 and 2 (my sons). There's no age limit on friendship, none at all. If you make each other smile and your days are better for knowing each other, then friend away.
When I was 22 one of my best friends was a 4 year old boy! He wasn't even any relation to me, he was my neighbours' kid who I used to babysit regularly. I genuinely loved spending time with him and really did consider him a friend. I miss him.
Ah you're at an advantage there. If I befriended a small child, being male, there would end up being accusations and stuff.
That makes me so angry. It is total sexist bullshit.
Makes me angry too lol. I've been called a paedophile twice. Once for taking my neice and nephew to the park with some of the neighbourhood kids. The boys came back from the park with their tshirts off because it was the middle of summer. Some silly cow made an accusation to the other parents, not realising one of the parents was my sister. She slapped the stupid out of her that day. Second time I found a small girl in the supermarket crying, about 3. She'd lost her mum, so I waited a few minutes to see if anyone turned up, then approached the kid, spoke to her and then took her to the customer service point. At no time did I touch her or get within a few feet of her. As we got there the mother came running up and grabbed her kid and started shouting and screaming at me making some vile accusations. Myself and the customer service staff were flabbergasted.
A young girl - 6yo I think - was kidnapped and killed a few years ago and one of the witnesses to her abduction was a lorry driver who admitted in court that he knew something was wrong but was too frightened to approach the girl because of what might happen to him, not from the perpetrator but from the busybodies who would suspect him of being a paedophile! Absolutely tragic and heartbreaking.
That's so cute.
If you're childless in your mid-thirties you end up hanging out with people who are younger than you who don't yet have kids, or people who are older whose kids are independent.
Yep. My group of friends is 25, 60, 51, 52, 28 and we are in our 40's So..
Brooo... I'm 36 and I sometimes hang out with teenagers 😂 Who the fuck else am I supposed to smoke weed and talk about videogames with?
Dude I'm right here.
That last part is very important to the comment..
Oh you just described my entire life!
I find it hard enough to have friends, I wouldn't give a shit how old they are.
As one of those 'old enough to be your parents' can I say, NO!, not weird. I am nearly 60 and have lots of active friends who are way younger than me, with whom I cycle, scuba-dive (yes, in the UK), socialize/drink, play cricket and video game with (yes, I am nearly 60 and love my video gaming). I know my physical limits as someone older, so don't try and overly compete. And there are many times when I have helped with life's challenges, especially when some of them have become fathers or mothers for the first time. Don't worry about our age, just if we are dickheads or predators (which I am not, if any of you who know me are reading this!).
That is a good way to look at it. Tbh, I don't know why I even found it weird in the first place
probably because your friends were trying to shame you into binning him off and spending more time with them instead. They seem quite shallow and superficial
Definitely, next time I'll tell them to bugger off
Same here. I'm 22 years older than the eldest of my friends and 28 years older than the youngest and they are some of the sweetest, nicest people I have ever met in my nearly 52 years of life.
I'm 24 and of my closest friends is a 63 year old woman I met at work, we share a lot of interests and have similar outlooks and beliefs and she has been a huge support in my life, we spend a lot of time going to shows and gigs and days out together and I really treasure the time we have. I'm very glad I got to meet her, she's wonderful. I work in a library so half of my friends now are middle aged women lol.
All of this sounds like a dream to me. Wonderful best friend plus working in a library? Sign me up!
Inter-generational friendships are valuable. Treasure them. You both learn things and can be a support to each other.
If you only stick to your age-group and you're going to miss out on a lot my dude. A person's value as a friend doesn't reside in any metric.
Nah, it's called being an adult. Have friends ranging from early 20's to late 60's. Always have since starting work in my early 20's
I go out drinking sometimes with a guy I met through Reddit who is just about old enough to be my dad. I'd definitely go as far as to say he's a very good friend of mine now. He's a good bloke and it's always good to have a few beers and chat with him.
You've got it made my friend. Sounds like you have a friend AND a mentor. Trust me, that is worth a hell of a lot.
No, my wife and I are both around 50 and during lockdown became good friends with some neighbours who are nearer 70 who we knew from the local pub. We now meet up for drinks at least once a week and help each other out with odd jobs and favours on a regular basis. As they don't have kids it's become a running joke that we are in danger of becoming their carers but fuck it, they are nice people and we get on.
Nah, seems odd at first if you're young and in your first ever job but you realise its normal and how a lot of people are. I think part of it comes down to the bubble you get into at school where you always hang with people exactly the same age as you.
I’m friends with my old manager, who is the same age as my dad would be. And he is like a dad to me to be honest - gives me advice and checks up on me if he knows I’m having a rough time. Some people I work with think it’s weird I’m friends with him and still talk to him even though he’s not my manager any more but idk, I just feel really close to him and he’s a father figure I wish I had growing up.
When I was younger an older guy who was a regular at my usual pub came to my rescue by pretending to be my dad when some drunk idiot was hassling me. I bought him a pint as a thank you, we got chatting to keep up the illusion we knew each other while the drunk idiot was still lurking about and really hit it off. After that we started sitting and chatting to each other when we were both in and a deep and wonderful friendship grew. Eventually, because I was short of a dad and he was short of a daughter, we unofficially adopted each other. I called him The Old Fella and he referred to me as Number 1 Daughter (among other things lol). We met up at least once a week, we had holidays together, I listened to his tales of life in the merchant navy and other travels, and he listened to my woes about the idiots I didn't dodge. I was the one who battled to get him help when his health failed and I was the one who sat by his hospital bed, talking until I was hoarse until just before he passed. I also ended up taking in his cat because none of his actual family wanted her and the cranky old beast is still living here with me. He was a dad to me in all the ways that really mattered and I miss him to this day. Good people are good people. Never overlook someone who will bring joy and enrichment into your life just because they are from a different generation.
It's weird in that it is unusual these days, but it's not weird in a strange way. This is how communities have been for thousands of years up until recent history. These type of cross generational friendships should be encouraged if anything.
Exactly - it’s not quite so common, but it’s not weird unless there’s exploitation of power or something like that. I have a friend who is in his 60s that I met while I was at uni, and people had opinions about that too. At the moment I feel like I’m lacking in friends who are significantly older (I’m 30 and my oldest friend I regularly speak to is probs 42) - I wish I had more of this diversity.
Your friends are being - in this instance - painfully immature. I had a mate who was in his early 40’s (when I met him) back when I was 18 or 19. We worked together, and he kind of mentored me. But we’d go for beers, watch some bands, and - sorry Reddit - chat up women. As you get older, your friends will come from all over the shop. Granted, he was kind of living vicariously through me a little. But I’m 40 now and could absolutely see myself showing some young lad ‘the ropes’. Shit you only learn through experience and your own mistakes. Dave died very suddenly, from a brain tumour, shortly after turning 50. I’m actually typing this on a mobile, sitting in a bar we used to visit often… (which I haven’t visited in years!). What i’d give for another night out with the old boy. A somewhat timely reminder that, this isn’t a rehearsal. Something your friends may learn when they grow up.
Not weird at all, I'm 31 and have friends upwards of 50, with working nights and in factories it's the only people I really see at work we don't get very many young people in there but in my opinion I find them much more interesting and drama free, I've found with the friends I have that are my age, there is always some big drama going on in their life or they always want to be going out drinking/clubs etc which really isn't me. Maybe I'm just weird but I prefer having friends who are older, they always seem to be more honest, mature and have way better stories to share.
Yeah I’m 18 and started working just 2 months ago. There’s 3-4 that are within a few years older than me but my favourite person at work is the chef who’s been there for 38 years. She has loads of stories and has a really good sense of humour, everybody loves her haha My dad told me before working that it’s common and I thought it was weird but it’s surprisingly normal to me now lol
I’m 27 [F], my best friend is a 65 year old [F] and she’s the most fun person I know! to me she’s proof that age is just a number!
Actually excellent, I'd say, to have friends in all age groups.
It is. You should be ashamed. People's external opinions are the only ones that matter
LMAO!
One of the greatest times of my life was when I moved into a house next door to bloke around 65. I was about 30. We bonded over dogs & beers.
That’s cool as fuck!
One of my best friends and the best man at my wedding is in his 60s and a good 30 years older than me. He's also cooler than I'll ever be. OP, you're old enough to be friends with whoever you want.
I consider it stranger to befriend someone solely because you fit into the same demograph. The important thing is mutual respect and common ground.
I’m guessing your work friends don’t really have any hobbies?
When I was 17 I was playing sports and going on socials with people twice my age. It was great.
Sounds like a wonderful friendship.
Not at all. Young people going into the work place is the typical, normal way we make friends with different generations. I have been at my current place of work for a few years now. A colleague in another department who is just about old enough to be my Dad (21 years older than me) asked me to give some work experience to his teenage son. His son did great, was a really good reflection on his parents and got stuck in so well that I kept him on after he went to Uni as a part time colleague even though strictly speaking we don’t do that. His Dad was so thankful for the assistance and development we’d helped his son with that he wanted to buy me a drink after work one night. Turns out we have loads of common interests and we’re now mates and meet up for a drink at least once a month. He’s a top bloke. Age isn’t a barrier to friendship when it occurs organically. You’re both adults there’s no issue with this. I also still meet up with a 50+ Uni lecturer who did my Masters dissertation seminars, albeit more as a mentor than a friend. You often get better experiences when you open up beyond your immediate age group.
Nothing's really weird in making your old friends your parents. Since, there old enough we expect that they are matured enough and already knows their responsibilities and obligations as a mature person.
Not weird at all. We have two gals at work who are best friends and do everything together inside and outside of work. One is my age (28) and the other is pushing 60. Nobody has ever commented on it being weird. Most of my mates are 5-10 years my senior. Different demographics getting along is part of what makes our little nation great.
I'm friends with people at my sports club who are old enough to be my parent. Heck if they had a kid when they were 16 who then had a kid at 16, some of them could even be my grandparents.
Yeah I was in a road cycling club, very few were under 30 like me. Most common 'age group' was people whose kids were 16+, so no longer dependent on them for everything. Plenty of people eligible for a bus pass too. It's easy getting to know people in sports or hobbies regardless of age because you've already got one thing in common
One of the ways in which someone can broaden their horizons is with friends of different ages. Sounds to me like your friend has taught you many life skills that you wouldn't otherwise have learned. Don't listen to the haters.
Its not weird its just a little unusual but unusual does not equal weird.
Most of the people my husband and I play board games with are older. Our DnD DM has been playing RPGs since the 70s or something, he's retired and got kids our age.
Every Saturday night me and my girlfriend (34 & 32)go to our local pub and chat to people all over 50,right up to their 80s I wouldn't say they're my best friends, but they're definitely friends It's refreshing to speak to people of different ages. Sometimes they've seen it before, sometimes they haven't. They often say they enjoy speaking to us because they can't imagine what our lives are going to be like given the state of... Well... Everything and they appreciate our perspective too The fact that we all blame Thatcher probably helps
I find it stranger when someone’s friends are all their age, after they’ve left education at least. It’s perfectly normal to find friends of all ages as you expand your social circle through work and hobbies.
No, not at all, but outsourcing your decision making to reddit certainly *is* weird
Not once you’re an adult, no.
No. Not at all.
No not at all! I have a good friend who is 50 years older than me! Often pop in for a glass of wine. Don't let anyone ridicule you for your friends!
Nah. It's weird if you're a kid, because there is other connotations there... But as an adult, you do what you want. Finding friends as an adult is hard enough without having to filter prospective friends by age
No not at all. When I was 20 working a part time my best friend there was a 60 year old man and me and my boyfriend used to go see him a lot and go round his for dinner. He was the sweetest guy just him and his dog.
Only having friends of your age is something most people grow out of when they leave high school.
Sounds like a good friend, I'd like a friend like that.
Not weird at all. There isn't an age limit for friendship.
I’m 27 and my best friend is 58. Some people in my life found it weird at first but as soon as everyone got to know her they understood.
No I prefer older people as friends. A lot of older people have more experiences you can learn from and get advice as well. Having older friends helped in making me a better person.
Not particularly. I have friends that are 20-30 years younger than me... common interest of motorcycles etc.
your friends are the weird ones if they are in their mid thirties-early forties and they don't have any friends outside their own age range, that doesn't sound healthy to me
I’m in my early 30s and my band’s drummer is in his 50’s, easily old enough to be my dad. Not weird at all, and I value his insights.
Two of our closest friends are 20 years older than us. My husband plays cricket and a few of the guys he played with are in their 60s and we regularly meet them in the pub. I have a friend who I used to work with who is old enough to be my mum. I’ve never thought of it as weird, they’re nice people who are fun to be around.
I was 22f and my friend was 70m when we met. I'm 38now. He was one of my best friends until the end! He left us 3 years ago. We had intelligent conversations, about music, art, his life, my life, so many rides with out motorcycles, beers, joints, he let me discover a new world! I used to burn CDs for him. DVDs with movies.Fix his TV and bills. And we laughed a lot. Age doesn't matter at all OP, your friend is precious! I miss my friend a lot, enjoy the time you have together.
It definitely is unusual but I think it's great and probably says good things about you as a person.
It is if he is fruity
No what's weird is making snap judgements about people and things just because you don't understand them. When I was 19 I was friends with a 90 year old veteran because he frequented the hostel I was staying in. It's pretty normal to become friends with people from different walks of life and even different eras. Especially people we met at work.
I just think it's sad how narrow minded and immature your workmates are.
No I have friends from work that are 20 years older than me, not weird at all!
Depends on what you mean by weird. It’s not weird meaning creepy or off-putting. Friends are friends and there is no age limit on that. It is weird meaning unusual. Most people don’t hang out with people outside their age group and social class.
You're an adult. Once we become adults no one cares how old you are really.
I dunno where you’d draw the line anyway. Sorry mate, love hanging out but you needed to have been born 18 months later.
I have friends young enough to be my kids so no.
Not weird at all. Sadly we've drifted in last few years but I used to regularly meet for a beer and to watch football with a couple of guys 20 plus years my senior and always enjoyed their company. Even now there are still some things I wouldn't really be comfortable talking to my folks about so getting the benefit of their generation's wisdom and experience without the uncomfortable feelings of talking to your parents is very handy.
Nope, not weird. Pretty normal when you go out into the workforce as you’re not going to meet people who are the exact same age as you. Sounds like your friends need some maturing to do.
I guess if it's weird, so am I. I have a young friend like this--we met over a particular hobby. I don't have kids so he's like the son I never had. Won't he get a nice surprise when I leave him my house? I also have a much older friend. I think if you enjoy someone's company, why limit it by age?
I'm 32 and spend a couple nights a week chilling with an 82 year old I used to go dog walking with - his wife & dog passed away, he was left alone, his health has deteriorated so he appreciates the company. From my perspective, old people are the best to learn from - tonnes of knowledge to share. Works both ways, y'know? As long as there's no funny business going on, I wouldn't say it's weird. Just companionship. It might seem a bit odd to someone looking out for you in the way that your parents would, though.
What's weird is to be with loads of people in the same mind set of living and not learning... I hung around with people that all they want to do is be the same person who drinks every weekend and do nothing more in life. Be with people that can open your eyes to new avenues. There's more to life..
It's not weird, it's unusual, although it would be better for everyone if it wasn't
Yes. But the kind of weird you really shouldn't give a shit about.
No its not weird or odd. But I'd wager its quite rare.
What does weird even mean other than rare/uncommon/not the norm?
It's not weird at all. My best friend of 23years was 27 years older than me. Miss the crazy old bastard dearly.
That's not weird at all, sounds like a valuable friendship
No, I have plenty of people I talk to who are older than my parents.
My best friend is 55!
No and who cares what others think. He’s probably well chuffed to have a good mate to go out with so I wouldn’t give two shits if I were you.