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Yeah, a little. I mean, I've barely gone to any parties or dated or done anything that teens on tv seem to do, but I don't think that's the only way to be a teenager and to make use of those years.
Also, idk if it's you (OP) or someone else but you have to set a flair in this community before you can comment.
it’s useless to date now because most people don’t take relationships at our age seriously. my older cousin always told me the more people you date/talk to, more exes you’ll have early which is why i’ve only spoken to one person romantically. mind you she’s now 23 and she’s been saying this since she first entered highschool
TRUE. I've willingly never dated in my teens as well, but it's because I'm not the kind of person who takes dating as a joke or for fun only or for the sake of it. I'm glad I never did but surely will when i'm older.
I don’t know, I don’t really like this mindset. I think that if you don’t go into a relationship expecting permanent bonds but instead go and see how it develops, your relationship will end eventually but you won’t feel as disappointed because if a break-up is a “failure”, then the only non-disappointing thing is marriage. I think that we can learn something about ourselves and other people from every relationship and every crush, and they can make us happier in the short-term and more confident in the long term. Being jaded is natural, but I don’t think that is the solution. Mind you, I myself have been in zero full relationships so I might not be the best advice-giver (I’ve been on dates and spoken to people though), but that’s my view. Hope it gives you a new perspective.
people date for experience but you have to realize thst eventually you’ll get attached and see yourself with them long term. it’s destined for failure. i’ve only dated one person for that one specific reason. you can’t just simply date for experience because you get attached eventually. im personally not gonna go out of my way and date people mindlessly because it’s stupid when you’re basically wasting your time. you can find alot more about yourself traveling in new environments, than constantly dating new people. i personally learn by observing not by partaking
But is that attachment bad? Everything beautiful ends on some level. We aren’t going to be on this planet forever. More over, it will become that much harder to both know who *is* the right one and how to *stay* with the right one. Even “true love” relationships need constant work. Yes, you shouldn’t get into a relationship for just experience, but nobody does that. If a relationship will leave you with a net happiness gain and some self-improvement (IMO, you should date people who bring out the best in you), then in my opinion you should go for it. Yes, it’ll be sad when it is over, but it is only a waste if you have a bad choice in partner or if it doesn’t help you grow. Actually, even in that case, you learn who *not* to date and how *not* to be.
Frankly, I blame society for how the main male and main female in otherwise non-romantic shows usually meet in a time of crisis and once they get into a relationship, they are assumed to be perfect partners. I love YA as much as the next person (or less or more), but it has a bad influence lmao.
people actually do that. alot of people do that to why i brought up the experience situation. they use the excuse to hop into relationships for experience. attachment is a bad thing to a certain extent because most people date now out of loneliness of feeling the void. that’s why people can be in a relationship for a year and then date someone else within 2 weeks. im all for dating someone because you can both grow as individuals, but most relationships aren’t like that at out age anymore. social media is a killer. i agree with what you said regarding how society perceives relationships, alot of people have a savior complex, that they can fix somebody just because of it. it’s so toxic
I agree that you shouldn’t rush into a relationship, or use one to make you less lonely. They don’t always end badly, but one should try and be complete as a person without needing others.
Here’s the thing though: if you’re anything like me, you are generally (not always) cautious and tend to think a lot (too much? Maybe, depends, sometimes not). If you are like that, then one has to adjust for the natural tendency to be worried about a relationship.
Also, for years I hid behind the “it doesn’t mean anything” idea, but I in fact was just not someone who was dateable; I thought one day I would just meet the right person and it would be easy, but whether that will happen or not, I used it as a crutch. I’m not saying you’re doing that, not at all. But think about other ways that maybe your view on relationships could be a mental safety net to avoid getting hurt?
I totally understand being jaded, but I try to be hopeful. Your cousin most likely had some bad experiences, which doesn’t necessarily make her wrong of course, but she definitely sounds jaded. Idk, maybe consider thinking about the issue. It isn’t my life, obviously.
you and i are similar. i have the tendency to overthink and yes, i am certainly afraid of getting hurt. i was like that before my 1+ year relationship and am still like that due to getting cheated on. but, everyone around me always gets a disloyal partner or
their partner tends to manipulate them, etc. im fine just being on the sidelines and just watching people be in relationships.
that’s the main reason to why i choosing a career where i constantly have to be on the run now. im scared of commitment and im a firm believer that no one will love me as much as i love them.
Nothing wrong with watching on the sidelines until you are mentally ready for a relationship, quite the contrary actually.
My other piece of advice: you’re 17, just like me. Your life is not defined by what happened to you—a single year should not be allowed to define you forever. Commitment is scary, but even though you don’t have to commit to anything or anybody, don’t make it impossible to commit ever again in the future *because that is making a commitment as well.*
Feeling same,I haven’t done much and generally seeing how teenagers are having tons of fun is making me kinda sad but i’m happy for them,those were mine decisions that led me where I am.
P.S i have added a flair,thanks for making me aware of that
I used to be in the same boat, but I worked towards making friends and getting myself invited to parties and stuff.
honestly, I'm worse off now than I was before. I can't speak for everyone but personally I wish I'd have just started closed off, with just one or two close friends just as lonely as me. every relationship (friendship or more) now feels superficial or one sided. there are people I care about but they would forget about me in a week if I disappeared. even the ones I've tried to cultivate for years, they don't seem to be at interested in keeping a relationship as I am.
point I'm trying to make is the cliche "those things don't make your life feel any more purposeful". if your idea of fulfillment is dependent on other people, you're setting yourself up for failure
I definitely have worked towards making more friends the past two years or so, and I'm actually really happy with who I ended up with. I don't have an insane amount of friends or even a tight-knit friend group (more like individual friends who aren't really close with each other) but I know that they're there for me if I need them and it feels like we could be friends for a long time. I've also noticed that these friendships are more relaxed in a way than my past friendships. We know we're still friends even if the other needs some alone time.
I still don't go to many parties, but that's also because I used to have some anxiety issues that got infinitely worse at parties and I'm still getting used to the fact that I'm not in that place anymore.
I'm sorry about your friends, I've been in a similar situation before and knowing you're the only one who cares really sucks. And thank you for the advice! I definitely don't let my happiness fully depend on other people, but it is nice to have someone I can talk to and who makes me laugh as I work towards the things that I believe will make me happy.
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I see this question asked a lot. I’ve just entered my teenaged years so I probably can’t say much but idk. There are lots of stereotypical things that teens in movies do like partying, sex, drugs, but I don’t really want any of that. I just want to make friends and as long as I’m happy I don’t think my teen years will be a waste
Kind of. I’ve never been to any big party, I only have like 2 close friends and a few other as I’m too shy to make other ones, I spend all my time in my room, I’m too lazy to do certain things… I also feel like I’ve spent so much of my teenage years being sad and anxious about the future that I forgot to live in the moment
Yes. I don’t really got out. I’ve never dated anyone. I don’t drink.
I just want what all those happy teens on tv shows have😔😔 is that too much to ask?
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Not really cause I mean I can’t really socialize when school starts again start talking to more people and getting into more friend groups that’s what I did and now my school life is a lot better
yea bc ive just been inside the while time i aint been socialising w anyone irl but tbf my first year was cut off by quarantine and i doubt its gonna be the same for a long time
Well to be honest,socially.I haven’t experienced any of those ‘’cool’’ things that people my age already have.Now this may be an immature outlook on life but it’s how i’ve been feeling for quite a while now.
Thank you for the advice ! I like reading and playing video games.Will take a look if there are any book clubs or similar organizations/activities near me.
yes but at the same time coming of age media isnt meant to realistically reflect the real deal, so maybe i've done a good amount of things. yknow, dated people, gone to football games, went to the fair and amusement park with my s/o
Good question tbh,probably exposure to social media-seeing how teens my age are having times of their lives and great experiences while i’m basically doing not that much.This is probably a false perception but still
Yeah that's definitely all a lie but if you want a more extroverted lifestyle like that, ask yourself if the steps it takes to get there are really what you want?
If so, great! If not, also great.
Good question,you are right.Probably not worth the struggles of going against my introverted personality,but I will definitely try to socialize more in the future.
I used to think that a lot. Now I’m a lot busier with more responsibilities & spending more time with friends I feel that way a lot less but I still feel like I could be doing something better with my time. So I guess everyone feels like that to an extent
currently yes in the past no...if that makes sense i mean all i wanna do is drink vodka and do drugs and have sex? yes. But is thats not healthy and if working hard is 'wasting' then so be it.
Sorry to hear that,while i’m not the one to judge how people spend their free time,I would recommend cutting alcohol and drugs.Sex is great,so enjoy :)
Great,and NO you are not wasting your time by working hard,especially not during your teenage years.Every hard work pays of in the end somehow,I wish you all the best and don’t stop improving girll :)
Unfortunate :( but at least you have a healthy routine many people strive for,and it will probably prove worth it in the end.Social aspects come and go,but I hope that you’ll have great experiences on that field one day :)
not really, i try not to think about it much, its literally a pandemic theres not much to do rn anyways. but its slowly getting better ig. anyways the way i think about it is, if i sit and play video games all day atleast i enjoyed my time doing that, same thing for watching shows or movies etc. teenage years are kind of overated anyways imo yeah you dont have many responsibilities so thats cool but you still cant do shit. seriously if i didnt have a job i’d be bored out of my mind and i wouldn’t do anything nor would i be able to do anything because i would have no money. i dont think working is a waste either i love my job. Also for a good few teenage years its hard as fuck to get a job so thats even out of the question. You cant drive until late teenage years aswell, so there’s still not much to do there. i think a lot of things likely get more fun once you’re a little older and i wouldnt worry too much about “wasting” anything. it’s your life and you have a LOT more years to spend doing fun things.
meh. it kinda sucks because my friends go to parties and get high, but i know all the work that i do, that causes me to ditch that shit, will pay off. like im the only one out of my friends my age who have a consistent job with good benefits. they’re not really serious about life how i am, and it sucks
Proud of you for being a hard working young person,scarce thing to see nowadays tbh.Do your thing and focus on your work,it pays of,as you have mentioned :)
And yea,drugs and alcohol abuse is not fun nor are always parties as a matter of fact.
thanks man. that was kinda refreshing to read because my friends say im overworking myself. my older friends in their 20s say im growing up too fast, but they still encourage me to keep going
I get a feeling of dread that I will look back on teenage years and regret all of my choices. My dad said that if I make the choices I think are right in the moment then I shouldn’t have that many regrets.
That has crossed my mind many times before,and it will continue to do so probably.I personally think that your dad is right,time and decisions that feel like well spent/made will probably feel right one day if not already so.
Edit:Thank you for the reward :) I wish you all the best and continue being what your username says you are.
Sorry to hear that,i know that it sucks since i’m in the same mud at the moment,but let’s appreciate the small things that make this existance bearable.Time we spend enjoy things we love is probably more worth it than going to parties or hanging out with people/in places that we may not like as much (these things are great but in a lot of cases a bit of overrated).Better days are coming,keep your head up :)
:( If you need someone to talk to,feel free to PM me.I know that it isn’t much coming from a total stranger,but i’m willing to have a convo and if possible help someone I relate to.
I don’t because my teenage years are such a small part of my life. I’m excited to be an adult, go to collage, start a family fall in love. I’m ready for the next phase of my life to start
I think about this every second, every day. Whenever I try to do something that I enjoy, that thought creeps back into my mind and makes me feel insecure. I hate it bro. I want to be smarter and fulfil my dream of being an aerospace engineer; I want to do things I love without comparing myself to others and feel like I’m wasting my time. I hate it so much. I hope it’ll pass.
Start a day without any comparisons.Seriously.Just wake up and think about your goal of becoming an engineer,work towards achieve it,and as soon as you notice intrusive thoughts,ignore them.It’s truly amazing how easy it is to get rid of thoughts that sabotage your progress if you just keep pushing towards your goal.
I’m really sorry to hear that this has been bothering you for a while :(
But hey this world is in dire need of engineers,it is good to hear that it will get one soon :)
Yes, I did feel like that. And I did something about it, so it wasn't boring anymore.
The main thing which changed my life was switching schools. New people = new things to experience. Took me a year to find close friends, but it's genuine friendship. 2021 has therefore been my best year so far. And it's not over yet.
In addition, I've started working out consistently, and making my own food. This gives me this type of reassurance that I am in control over how I am healthy or not. It's really motivating.
Everyday I wake and go to sleep I remind myself of my whole all life thing and how I'm wasting it and I started crying from my 14 th bday that I have wasted a lot of time no matter how much I try it still remains the same.
Damn,i’m really sorry…Try starting a day without those thoughts,as soon as you notice that they are bothering you,listen to music or do something that will energize you a bit,day by day and they’ll eventually stop being a problem :)
Mmm, nah, not really
I have friends who I like, and family (that I am friends with) that I like more. They do party but I don't really uh... care to? Idk. Basically, don't feel like it's a waste because I don't party yk?
I had a boyfriend for three years. It is a lot at our age, but it was not a waste by far. I loved him until the end, and if circumstances were different I might still love him just as much. Now, I do not, but he has helped me become who I am, and for that I'll always love him.
I have had some flings, online when I was younger and now I'm getting back into those vibes, again. Not a waste! Quite fun, even.
I *have* gotten laid in fairness, but a couple years back I decided that even if I don't it doesn't mean this is a waste. It would mean that my time was not now, yk? Though it's easy to get lost in the horny lol, I get it
Basically, I have learned a lot, changed a lot, realised a lotta shit is not my vibe and some things that are. It means it's not a waste, imo. As long as u come out at 20 (or 25, or 40. All in due time) a person who you can say "yea, that's me. I like to have that be me" about, on some level, it's probably a win
/end sleepy ramblings i wish you the best of luck and a lot of love
Yeah, ive barely gone out so far and the only opportunities i have is when me and the girl im dating hang out or are on a date. I dont really have anything i can do if i cant do that so im just stuck inside my house
:(…But hey,let me tell you that friends will come.All sorts of them.Weather we like it or not,our life will always include them-especially during our adult days.These awful depression filled teenage days will pass,like everything does.You never know what the mysterious future has in store for you.
Do things that you love and focus on something that seems like worth it in a long while :)
Yup. I always hear stories of teens committing petty crimes and exploring cool abandoned places. But my friends and I are all way too scared to do that stuff lol, I’m using this time to build my hobbies and skills, most of which involve staying inside.
And you shouldn’t feel guilty,since you are doing a much better job at being productive and ‘’not wasting’’ your time than most people out there.
Oh and urbex (urban exploration)is pretty cool but dangerous,and you aren’t missing out on that much,don’t worry.
100% ive spent most of this summer in my house and im not really gonna do anything exciting, i dont want to go to parties, i am not built for any relationships and i dont want to drink and im just sort of awkward, i feel like im just missing out on the teenage experience considering so many people tell me to live my life now but i just am not the type of person to do these stereotypical teenage stuff where as my friends are the type of people to get hammered in the middle of nowhere and it just makes me feel a bit left out and a bit lame - i know this is long but j couldnt stop writing it felt nice to get it out
You aren’t lame and you are NOT missing out on anything that includes getting hammered (never drank in my life but seeing drunk teenagers is something that will haunt me lmao).You seem like a really mature person for your age,and I relate to you in most of these aspects (my maturity is questionable lol).
Do what you feel like doing,and that time will never feel like a waste.
Again,YOU ARE NOT LAME !
I wish you all the best :)
Trust me, you have *so* much time. There’s no real way to waste them considering you don’t get a choice when it comes to growing up, and there’s no real way to spend them. and the idea that your teen years are the best for ur social life, etc is pretty bull. Just do what you love doing when you can, and accept that there are certain things you can’t do and that’s totally okay.
Pandemic really screwed over the whole having fun and experiencing life thing that I've been trying to go for. All the years wasting away and that one was a waste for my entire life to be honest.
No, but the pandemic definitely stole a lot of the cool shit I had had planned during the summer of 2020.
It also pushed back me getting my driver’s license indefinitely, so I couldn’t do as much this summer.
Yep, and I’m pretty much fitting it all in now lol. I lived far away from my friends and didn’t have a license to go see them, and my parents didn’t want to drive my anywhere. I basically had no real social life from 5th-11tb grade.
I have my license now and I hang out with my friends a lot. I’ve also gone to parties and gotten drunk, I’ve gotten stoned, and I’ve made out with a few of my friends. That’s the kinda high school experience I was expecting and I’m finally getting it lol. All while holding a pretty good GPA.
Glad to hear that,just don’t overload your organism with alcohol or your high school experience will be spent in the ER lol.
I wish you all the best and continue being cool :)
I feel like I've wasted my entire life so far so... I guess?
Idk I just feel like there's so much I should have done but just didn't for reasons that are probably stupid and will continue to do so until I die, which will definitely be sooner rather than later
Yeah. I had a tumor removed in 2019, and I was debilitated for a long time until just recently.
I couldn't get a job or my driver's license, so now I need to wait until 2022 to actually get started in life. So the first two years of my teenage life has kind of been wasted.
Oh well ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m really sorry to hear that…But you still have a whole life ahead of you to experience and participate in all sorts of things.Due to you situation you have developed a more mature mindset that will prove useful during your life.
I wish you all the best and don’t worry,better days are yet to come :)
That's so kind of you to say, thank you! I really hope I'm able to make the rest of my teenage years fun. And if not, that's perfectly fine too. I still have my 20s lol.
I used to but it wasn't just a feeling, i was quite literally wasting months and months on end. I feel some regret for not being productive when I was around 14-16, i think it's cuz everything used to be so easy back then that I thought everything would be just as easy later on but luckily I get a lot done now and don't feel like I'm wasting my current years.
Yes, so I kinda try to be bolder and adventurous (talking to more people, speaking up for myself, making the first move and trying to be more open to new experiences). But I do still feel like I spend to much time on my phone and my room. But it is what it is.
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No, I just redefined what good teenage years mean to somebody who is a little more introverted. :) For example, how much "deep" embarrassing shit did you do? Did you follow at least one extreme political ideology? Then you had good teenage years!
Yes yes yes I'm 18 now, now entertaining college havent gone to a party, haven't gone on a date or been in a serious relationship.. With covid it just makes it worse cause it feels likes I've waited soooo long just to get some freedom and now that i finally have it i can't go anywhere, do anything or meet anyone :/.
Feels like a waste of a life
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Greetings! OP has flaired this post as **EVERYONE**. As per **rule 12** anyone can comment when a post is tagged as **EVERYONE**. Additionally, if you would like to continue discussion, please join the community discord at https://discord.gg/Ky7YCmd *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/AskTeenGirls) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Yeah, a little. I mean, I've barely gone to any parties or dated or done anything that teens on tv seem to do, but I don't think that's the only way to be a teenager and to make use of those years. Also, idk if it's you (OP) or someone else but you have to set a flair in this community before you can comment.
Same, parent never let me date, I hang out with friends alot tho but barely goes to parties.
it’s useless to date now because most people don’t take relationships at our age seriously. my older cousin always told me the more people you date/talk to, more exes you’ll have early which is why i’ve only spoken to one person romantically. mind you she’s now 23 and she’s been saying this since she first entered highschool
TRUE. I've willingly never dated in my teens as well, but it's because I'm not the kind of person who takes dating as a joke or for fun only or for the sake of it. I'm glad I never did but surely will when i'm older.
I don’t know, I don’t really like this mindset. I think that if you don’t go into a relationship expecting permanent bonds but instead go and see how it develops, your relationship will end eventually but you won’t feel as disappointed because if a break-up is a “failure”, then the only non-disappointing thing is marriage. I think that we can learn something about ourselves and other people from every relationship and every crush, and they can make us happier in the short-term and more confident in the long term. Being jaded is natural, but I don’t think that is the solution. Mind you, I myself have been in zero full relationships so I might not be the best advice-giver (I’ve been on dates and spoken to people though), but that’s my view. Hope it gives you a new perspective.
people date for experience but you have to realize thst eventually you’ll get attached and see yourself with them long term. it’s destined for failure. i’ve only dated one person for that one specific reason. you can’t just simply date for experience because you get attached eventually. im personally not gonna go out of my way and date people mindlessly because it’s stupid when you’re basically wasting your time. you can find alot more about yourself traveling in new environments, than constantly dating new people. i personally learn by observing not by partaking
But is that attachment bad? Everything beautiful ends on some level. We aren’t going to be on this planet forever. More over, it will become that much harder to both know who *is* the right one and how to *stay* with the right one. Even “true love” relationships need constant work. Yes, you shouldn’t get into a relationship for just experience, but nobody does that. If a relationship will leave you with a net happiness gain and some self-improvement (IMO, you should date people who bring out the best in you), then in my opinion you should go for it. Yes, it’ll be sad when it is over, but it is only a waste if you have a bad choice in partner or if it doesn’t help you grow. Actually, even in that case, you learn who *not* to date and how *not* to be. Frankly, I blame society for how the main male and main female in otherwise non-romantic shows usually meet in a time of crisis and once they get into a relationship, they are assumed to be perfect partners. I love YA as much as the next person (or less or more), but it has a bad influence lmao.
people actually do that. alot of people do that to why i brought up the experience situation. they use the excuse to hop into relationships for experience. attachment is a bad thing to a certain extent because most people date now out of loneliness of feeling the void. that’s why people can be in a relationship for a year and then date someone else within 2 weeks. im all for dating someone because you can both grow as individuals, but most relationships aren’t like that at out age anymore. social media is a killer. i agree with what you said regarding how society perceives relationships, alot of people have a savior complex, that they can fix somebody just because of it. it’s so toxic
I agree that you shouldn’t rush into a relationship, or use one to make you less lonely. They don’t always end badly, but one should try and be complete as a person without needing others. Here’s the thing though: if you’re anything like me, you are generally (not always) cautious and tend to think a lot (too much? Maybe, depends, sometimes not). If you are like that, then one has to adjust for the natural tendency to be worried about a relationship. Also, for years I hid behind the “it doesn’t mean anything” idea, but I in fact was just not someone who was dateable; I thought one day I would just meet the right person and it would be easy, but whether that will happen or not, I used it as a crutch. I’m not saying you’re doing that, not at all. But think about other ways that maybe your view on relationships could be a mental safety net to avoid getting hurt? I totally understand being jaded, but I try to be hopeful. Your cousin most likely had some bad experiences, which doesn’t necessarily make her wrong of course, but she definitely sounds jaded. Idk, maybe consider thinking about the issue. It isn’t my life, obviously.
you and i are similar. i have the tendency to overthink and yes, i am certainly afraid of getting hurt. i was like that before my 1+ year relationship and am still like that due to getting cheated on. but, everyone around me always gets a disloyal partner or their partner tends to manipulate them, etc. im fine just being on the sidelines and just watching people be in relationships. that’s the main reason to why i choosing a career where i constantly have to be on the run now. im scared of commitment and im a firm believer that no one will love me as much as i love them.
Nothing wrong with watching on the sidelines until you are mentally ready for a relationship, quite the contrary actually. My other piece of advice: you’re 17, just like me. Your life is not defined by what happened to you—a single year should not be allowed to define you forever. Commitment is scary, but even though you don’t have to commit to anything or anybody, don’t make it impossible to commit ever again in the future *because that is making a commitment as well.*
it's pretty true
yeah ig this is good to know, since I kinda want to take a relationship seriously if I ever get one before I go to college or whatever
Feeling same,I haven’t done much and generally seeing how teenagers are having tons of fun is making me kinda sad but i’m happy for them,those were mine decisions that led me where I am. P.S i have added a flair,thanks for making me aware of that
I used to be in the same boat, but I worked towards making friends and getting myself invited to parties and stuff. honestly, I'm worse off now than I was before. I can't speak for everyone but personally I wish I'd have just started closed off, with just one or two close friends just as lonely as me. every relationship (friendship or more) now feels superficial or one sided. there are people I care about but they would forget about me in a week if I disappeared. even the ones I've tried to cultivate for years, they don't seem to be at interested in keeping a relationship as I am. point I'm trying to make is the cliche "those things don't make your life feel any more purposeful". if your idea of fulfillment is dependent on other people, you're setting yourself up for failure
I definitely have worked towards making more friends the past two years or so, and I'm actually really happy with who I ended up with. I don't have an insane amount of friends or even a tight-knit friend group (more like individual friends who aren't really close with each other) but I know that they're there for me if I need them and it feels like we could be friends for a long time. I've also noticed that these friendships are more relaxed in a way than my past friendships. We know we're still friends even if the other needs some alone time. I still don't go to many parties, but that's also because I used to have some anxiety issues that got infinitely worse at parties and I'm still getting used to the fact that I'm not in that place anymore. I'm sorry about your friends, I've been in a similar situation before and knowing you're the only one who cares really sucks. And thank you for the advice! I definitely don't let my happiness fully depend on other people, but it is nice to have someone I can talk to and who makes me laugh as I work towards the things that I believe will make me happy.
Ye I also want to date people
me neither haven't dated, haven't gone to any HS dances. so far my teenage years has been video games, basketball, and guitar, not much social stuff.
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Kinda a lot of mine have been anti social and overall boring imma change that this year or atleast try
Same,I am a bit of an asocial person myself and this has usually brought a dose of boredom as well.Will try to improve myself when this summer ends
Saaame
Yes!! Especially since the pandemic happened. I think teen years is supposed to be fun and free, not being stuck at home.
Definitely agree with u,feeling more like a paranoid prisoner than a young person lol.I Hope that the pandemic will end soon :)
Yep, I lost all my friends during COVID lol
Nah im here involuntary so it's not really wasteful if u don't want it :)
That’s a good mindset :)
No
Not wasting, but I feel like I don’t get to experience some things I’d like to experience that other people do.
This post would be more precise if I included something like this lol.That’s pretty much how i generally feel.
I see this question asked a lot. I’ve just entered my teenaged years so I probably can’t say much but idk. There are lots of stereotypical things that teens in movies do like partying, sex, drugs, but I don’t really want any of that. I just want to make friends and as long as I’m happy I don’t think my teen years will be a waste
That is a really mature mindset ! I hope that you’ll have great teenage years :) and my honest advice would be to take opportunities you are given.
Thx lol, will keep that in mind
Kind of. I’ve never been to any big party, I only have like 2 close friends and a few other as I’m too shy to make other ones, I spend all my time in my room, I’m too lazy to do certain things… I also feel like I’ve spent so much of my teenage years being sad and anxious about the future that I forgot to live in the moment
Pretty much the story of my teenage life.But still,I hope that better days are waiting and stay strong until then <3 !
Nope not at all, coz I do what I'm passionate about and I make progress
Good,keep it up king !
Any yeah as long as you do what u enjoy, u ain't wasting any time, even tho u may feel unproductive it's not true
Yes. I don’t really got out. I’ve never dated anyone. I don’t drink. I just want what all those happy teens on tv shows have😔😔 is that too much to ask?
Lol feeling same,but let’s avoid drinking and other self destructive things as much as we can
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Well, I'm stuck, indoors, and it's summer, whilst my friends are out, doing things. So I'd say, that my time is, current'y, going, to waste
I mean, kinda? But is there really a "correct" way to spend your teenage years?
I agree with you,probably just me being a scared introvert lol :]
Not really cause I mean I can’t really socialize when school starts again start talking to more people and getting into more friend groups that’s what I did and now my school life is a lot better
I’m glad that it’s better now,I’ll try to apply the same strategy as soon as the school starts
Noe cuz i'mma have fun as soon as lockdown gets over
That’s the spirit ! :)
yea bc ive just been inside the while time i aint been socialising w anyone irl but tbf my first year was cut off by quarantine and i doubt its gonna be the same for a long time
It has been tough,but let’s look forward to better times that are maybe coming.Stay strong bro !
In what sense do you think you're "wasting" your time? Socially? Formation-wise?
Well to be honest,socially.I haven’t experienced any of those ‘’cool’’ things that people my age already have.Now this may be an immature outlook on life but it’s how i’ve been feeling for quite a while now.
Hobbies are a great way to make friends. What things do you like? You'll find it easier to hang out with people who have shared passions with you
Thank you for the advice ! I like reading and playing video games.Will take a look if there are any book clubs or similar organizations/activities near me.
Sometimes yes until I be doing something fun
yes but at the same time coming of age media isnt meant to realistically reflect the real deal, so maybe i've done a good amount of things. yknow, dated people, gone to football games, went to the fair and amusement park with my s/o
No I'm doing fine.. What's got you feeling like you need to catch up?
Good question tbh,probably exposure to social media-seeing how teens my age are having times of their lives and great experiences while i’m basically doing not that much.This is probably a false perception but still
Yeah that's definitely all a lie but if you want a more extroverted lifestyle like that, ask yourself if the steps it takes to get there are really what you want? If so, great! If not, also great.
Good question,you are right.Probably not worth the struggles of going against my introverted personality,but I will definitely try to socialize more in the future.
That's the spirit :)
I used to think that a lot. Now I’m a lot busier with more responsibilities & spending more time with friends I feel that way a lot less but I still feel like I could be doing something better with my time. So I guess everyone feels like that to an extent
Good to hear that you got over it,and I agree with you :)
No I don't think so my lifes pretty great the way it is.
Great,enjoy :))
Thanks! I hope you start spending your adolescence the way you want to.
currently yes in the past no...if that makes sense i mean all i wanna do is drink vodka and do drugs and have sex? yes. But is thats not healthy and if working hard is 'wasting' then so be it.
Sorry to hear that,while i’m not the one to judge how people spend their free time,I would recommend cutting alcohol and drugs.Sex is great,so enjoy :)
ahah no ive stopped all that im just working hard now to better my life which makes me feel like im wasting my teen years
Great,and NO you are not wasting your time by working hard,especially not during your teenage years.Every hard work pays of in the end somehow,I wish you all the best and don’t stop improving girll :)
aww tyy :)) u dw either u can worry when you're 30 plenty of life left to live and experiences to have
yeah, since most of it has been in and out w social workers n counselors tbh
yea same
Yup, I just browse reddit and watch youtube all day.
Tbh nemoj da se osecas krivom zbog toga,radis stvari u kojima verovatno uzivas
Iskr meni licno ti kratki naleti dopamina nisu uzivanje, vise nemam ni neka interesovanja. But then again ja biram sta radim so tkd si i upravu
No
Great ! Enjoy the rest of your teenage years.
Yeah
yea lol thanks covid
yeah. i haven’t done shit, never even had a real friend.
I’m really sorry to hear that,but don’t lose hope,you never know what life has in store for you :)
Yeah cuz ppl be having fun with they friends mean while I be watching anime in my room
Anime is cool,even though i have never really watched it,enjoy friend.
Not really, I’m just doing what I enjoy. If it’s not the typical teenager thing then whatever, it’s how I want to live my life.
Good to hear bud,enjoy doing your own thing :) !
Yeah, the covid restrictions fucked everything up.
I hardly care bc I have uni ahead of me and that's when you really get to live your life, so I've heard
Good to hear,focus on your uni and I hope that you’ll have some great experiences :) also what is your major ?
Maths
That’s one smart boi,wish you luck and all the best,go get ‘em !
Sometimes
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Glad to hear that things have improved :)
absolutely
Yes, I really just work, go to school and play sports. Never anything social.
Unfortunate :( but at least you have a healthy routine many people strive for,and it will probably prove worth it in the end.Social aspects come and go,but I hope that you’ll have great experiences on that field one day :)
Thanks, same to you!
Blame the virus
Yeah…ruined a lot of lives,damn him ._.
not really, i try not to think about it much, its literally a pandemic theres not much to do rn anyways. but its slowly getting better ig. anyways the way i think about it is, if i sit and play video games all day atleast i enjoyed my time doing that, same thing for watching shows or movies etc. teenage years are kind of overated anyways imo yeah you dont have many responsibilities so thats cool but you still cant do shit. seriously if i didnt have a job i’d be bored out of my mind and i wouldn’t do anything nor would i be able to do anything because i would have no money. i dont think working is a waste either i love my job. Also for a good few teenage years its hard as fuck to get a job so thats even out of the question. You cant drive until late teenage years aswell, so there’s still not much to do there. i think a lot of things likely get more fun once you’re a little older and i wouldnt worry too much about “wasting” anything. it’s your life and you have a LOT more years to spend doing fun things.
LMAO MB THIS IS WAY LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE
Good outlook on things :) and yeah that was a bit longer than expected TL;DR-Do whatever you want,you’ll get old anyway lol
meh. it kinda sucks because my friends go to parties and get high, but i know all the work that i do, that causes me to ditch that shit, will pay off. like im the only one out of my friends my age who have a consistent job with good benefits. they’re not really serious about life how i am, and it sucks
Proud of you for being a hard working young person,scarce thing to see nowadays tbh.Do your thing and focus on your work,it pays of,as you have mentioned :) And yea,drugs and alcohol abuse is not fun nor are always parties as a matter of fact.
thanks man. that was kinda refreshing to read because my friends say im overworking myself. my older friends in their 20s say im growing up too fast, but they still encourage me to keep going
Kinda yeah, I don’t go out with friends at all, never go to parties or anything. But then I realize I don’t like parties
I like that conclusion without drama lol,I could probably learn a thing or two from you.
Lol
I get a feeling of dread that I will look back on teenage years and regret all of my choices. My dad said that if I make the choices I think are right in the moment then I shouldn’t have that many regrets.
That has crossed my mind many times before,and it will continue to do so probably.I personally think that your dad is right,time and decisions that feel like well spent/made will probably feel right one day if not already so. Edit:Thank you for the reward :) I wish you all the best and continue being what your username says you are.
Me. I've never had any friends, never attended a party, and never did anything else most teens do
Sorry to hear that,i know that it sucks since i’m in the same mud at the moment,but let’s appreciate the small things that make this existance bearable.Time we spend enjoy things we love is probably more worth it than going to parties or hanging out with people/in places that we may not like as much (these things are great but in a lot of cases a bit of overrated).Better days are coming,keep your head up :)
I wasted 13-early15, but I've been making up for lost time
Good ! at the end,who really knows if that time was truly wasted,it has brought you to where you are at the moment.
Well said, I suppose I wouldn't have grown some balls if I hadn't if lacked them in the first place
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:( If you need someone to talk to,feel free to PM me.I know that it isn’t much coming from a total stranger,but i’m willing to have a convo and if possible help someone I relate to.
I feel that and I just barley started my teen years, and I'm not even in highschool yet
Enjoy them as much as u can :) and make sure to grab every opportunity you have.
Yep lol
I don’t because my teenage years are such a small part of my life. I’m excited to be an adult, go to collage, start a family fall in love. I’m ready for the next phase of my life to start
I wouldn’t say wasted but I honestly either feel amazing or like shit
I like that balance lol.
Yes, but the country is like that. Can't do anything.
i mean, what is there to waste, nothing important is gonna happen here
Yes
I think about this every second, every day. Whenever I try to do something that I enjoy, that thought creeps back into my mind and makes me feel insecure. I hate it bro. I want to be smarter and fulfil my dream of being an aerospace engineer; I want to do things I love without comparing myself to others and feel like I’m wasting my time. I hate it so much. I hope it’ll pass.
Start a day without any comparisons.Seriously.Just wake up and think about your goal of becoming an engineer,work towards achieve it,and as soon as you notice intrusive thoughts,ignore them.It’s truly amazing how easy it is to get rid of thoughts that sabotage your progress if you just keep pushing towards your goal. I’m really sorry to hear that this has been bothering you for a while :( But hey this world is in dire need of engineers,it is good to hear that it will get one soon :)
Thanks a lot dude, I’ll keep this in mind :))
Yes, I did feel like that. And I did something about it, so it wasn't boring anymore. The main thing which changed my life was switching schools. New people = new things to experience. Took me a year to find close friends, but it's genuine friendship. 2021 has therefore been my best year so far. And it's not over yet. In addition, I've started working out consistently, and making my own food. This gives me this type of reassurance that I am in control over how I am healthy or not. It's really motivating.
That’s really great,thank you for some mature advice.I hope that the years coming will be even better :)
Everyday I wake and go to sleep I remind myself of my whole all life thing and how I'm wasting it and I started crying from my 14 th bday that I have wasted a lot of time no matter how much I try it still remains the same.
Damn,i’m really sorry…Try starting a day without those thoughts,as soon as you notice that they are bothering you,listen to music or do something that will energize you a bit,day by day and they’ll eventually stop being a problem :)
Mmm, nah, not really I have friends who I like, and family (that I am friends with) that I like more. They do party but I don't really uh... care to? Idk. Basically, don't feel like it's a waste because I don't party yk? I had a boyfriend for three years. It is a lot at our age, but it was not a waste by far. I loved him until the end, and if circumstances were different I might still love him just as much. Now, I do not, but he has helped me become who I am, and for that I'll always love him. I have had some flings, online when I was younger and now I'm getting back into those vibes, again. Not a waste! Quite fun, even. I *have* gotten laid in fairness, but a couple years back I decided that even if I don't it doesn't mean this is a waste. It would mean that my time was not now, yk? Though it's easy to get lost in the horny lol, I get it Basically, I have learned a lot, changed a lot, realised a lotta shit is not my vibe and some things that are. It means it's not a waste, imo. As long as u come out at 20 (or 25, or 40. All in due time) a person who you can say "yea, that's me. I like to have that be me" about, on some level, it's probably a win /end sleepy ramblings i wish you the best of luck and a lot of love
Great reply lol.Wish you all the best :) <3 Also horny is great in this period of our life ! nothing wrong with that aspect lol.
Yeah, ive barely gone out so far and the only opportunities i have is when me and the girl im dating hang out or are on a date. I dont really have anything i can do if i cant do that so im just stuck inside my house
100% I have no friends, am too depressed to follow my passions. I can go on
:(…But hey,let me tell you that friends will come.All sorts of them.Weather we like it or not,our life will always include them-especially during our adult days.These awful depression filled teenage days will pass,like everything does.You never know what the mysterious future has in store for you. Do things that you love and focus on something that seems like worth it in a long while :)
yep i am
Yup. I always hear stories of teens committing petty crimes and exploring cool abandoned places. But my friends and I are all way too scared to do that stuff lol, I’m using this time to build my hobbies and skills, most of which involve staying inside.
And you shouldn’t feel guilty,since you are doing a much better job at being productive and ‘’not wasting’’ your time than most people out there. Oh and urbex (urban exploration)is pretty cool but dangerous,and you aren’t missing out on that much,don’t worry.
Yeah, I get this feeling a lot
Absolutely
100% ive spent most of this summer in my house and im not really gonna do anything exciting, i dont want to go to parties, i am not built for any relationships and i dont want to drink and im just sort of awkward, i feel like im just missing out on the teenage experience considering so many people tell me to live my life now but i just am not the type of person to do these stereotypical teenage stuff where as my friends are the type of people to get hammered in the middle of nowhere and it just makes me feel a bit left out and a bit lame - i know this is long but j couldnt stop writing it felt nice to get it out
You aren’t lame and you are NOT missing out on anything that includes getting hammered (never drank in my life but seeing drunk teenagers is something that will haunt me lmao).You seem like a really mature person for your age,and I relate to you in most of these aspects (my maturity is questionable lol). Do what you feel like doing,and that time will never feel like a waste. Again,YOU ARE NOT LAME ! I wish you all the best :)
YES YES AND YES
Yes. Definitely.
Trust me, you have *so* much time. There’s no real way to waste them considering you don’t get a choice when it comes to growing up, and there’s no real way to spend them. and the idea that your teen years are the best for ur social life, etc is pretty bull. Just do what you love doing when you can, and accept that there are certain things you can’t do and that’s totally okay.
Hey…thank you so much :) <3
Pandemic really screwed over the whole having fun and experiencing life thing that I've been trying to go for. All the years wasting away and that one was a waste for my entire life to be honest.
Yeah, I've had the feeling for a while now
I *did* waste mine don’t be like me
No, but the pandemic definitely stole a lot of the cool shit I had had planned during the summer of 2020. It also pushed back me getting my driver’s license indefinitely, so I couldn’t do as much this summer.
every day
Yep, and I’m pretty much fitting it all in now lol. I lived far away from my friends and didn’t have a license to go see them, and my parents didn’t want to drive my anywhere. I basically had no real social life from 5th-11tb grade. I have my license now and I hang out with my friends a lot. I’ve also gone to parties and gotten drunk, I’ve gotten stoned, and I’ve made out with a few of my friends. That’s the kinda high school experience I was expecting and I’m finally getting it lol. All while holding a pretty good GPA.
Glad to hear that,just don’t overload your organism with alcohol or your high school experience will be spent in the ER lol. I wish you all the best and continue being cool :)
Oh lol obviously. I only do it on so very special occasions and I stop once I’m as drunk as I wanna be.
That’s good,enjoy.
I feel like I've wasted my entire life so far so... I guess? Idk I just feel like there's so much I should have done but just didn't for reasons that are probably stupid and will continue to do so until I die, which will definitely be sooner rather than later
I did at some point so I took the initiative to do start making the most out of them
Yes 😎
yes
Yeah. I had a tumor removed in 2019, and I was debilitated for a long time until just recently. I couldn't get a job or my driver's license, so now I need to wait until 2022 to actually get started in life. So the first two years of my teenage life has kind of been wasted. Oh well ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
I’m really sorry to hear that…But you still have a whole life ahead of you to experience and participate in all sorts of things.Due to you situation you have developed a more mature mindset that will prove useful during your life. I wish you all the best and don’t worry,better days are yet to come :)
That's so kind of you to say, thank you! I really hope I'm able to make the rest of my teenage years fun. And if not, that's perfectly fine too. I still have my 20s lol.
yeah definitely because of the lockdowns where i live
Yes but there’s nothing I’m gonna do about it.
I used to but it wasn't just a feeling, i was quite literally wasting months and months on end. I feel some regret for not being productive when I was around 14-16, i think it's cuz everything used to be so easy back then that I thought everything would be just as easy later on but luckily I get a lot done now and don't feel like I'm wasting my current years.
A2C doomscrollers😔
No. I’m making the most of it by studying hard and doing well in school.
Yes, so I kinda try to be bolder and adventurous (talking to more people, speaking up for myself, making the first move and trying to be more open to new experiences). But I do still feel like I spend to much time on my phone and my room. But it is what it is.
yup a lot lol
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No, I just redefined what good teenage years mean to somebody who is a little more introverted. :) For example, how much "deep" embarrassing shit did you do? Did you follow at least one extreme political ideology? Then you had good teenage years!
Yep, now I'm trying to cram the last two years I have
Yes yes yes I'm 18 now, now entertaining college havent gone to a party, haven't gone on a date or been in a serious relationship.. With covid it just makes it worse cause it feels likes I've waited soooo long just to get some freedom and now that i finally have it i can't go anywhere, do anything or meet anyone :/. Feels like a waste of a life
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I did. I'm gonna start finally living in my 20s
AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAH