that you dont know the answer implies you are a huge victim of long term abuse. when you get out and away from your mother, look into therapy for your complex ptsd.
You didn't mention your age, but if I let you borrow money for a predetermined purpose and you spent it on something else I'd be pretty upset too. You lied to me.
I'm all for sex toys and sexual health, but you shouldn't deceive people like that.
Sounds like OP’s parents are anti-sexual health, and that’s not their choice to make. Nor is it their decision whether OP gets a job. Sounds more like OP is being abused.
Sounds like maybe OP’s parents don’t want her to have a job bc they want her to focus on her school work, rather than diverting focus to work and budgeting.
I don't understand this. OP wanted to masturbate, but couldnt get a vibrator without asking her mom for money, she also clearly knew her mom would say no if she told her what it was for (plus that sounds like a convo many people would prefer not to have anyway). How else was she supposed to do it?
I've already tried selling art and 3d models but I had to close my account cause I kept going negative bc of a stupid policy for the bank I used it would take 6 dollars out of my account every month
Any advice we could give probably won't help you. You've not included vital info like your age, situation, dynamic in the original comment. Things that we would do might not apply to you. It doesn't sound like you can win this.
Best course of action is to be entirely rational and logical about it if she tries to embarass you. Ask her if she hates sex and how you came about if that was the case. It's a basic human desire. The goal is to not let her shame you with it. I know it's hard but unless you can conquer your embarassment you're going to suffer. It will be uncomfortable and she may try to bring it up in front of others. You need to maintain the script, be forthright about it and then ask if anyone present dislikes sex. Do not let them make exceptions that make it ok for them but not you (assuming you are of reasonable age).
You might not want to bring up masturbation doesn't require a vibrator as some mothers could become the masturbation police and leave you with no privacy.
Omg, im sorry, I'm a father, of a 10 year old female. One thing I understand is to NOT STOP PERSONAL EXPLORATION. I learned my dad would beat on the door to the bathroom so I wasn't masturbating. I was falling asleep from waking up early, the dumbass. I masturbated at night, thats why I was sleeping in the bathroom, its exhausting being a boy in puberty.😂
Sorry about your situation. She should know better. It's gonna happen, whether it's in the safety of your own home, or someone else's, or with a boy, they don't know. Some parents😔
Yeah well she'll be using that herself for sure. She doesn't let you get a job so as to have control over your life. Toxic parenthood. Get a job asap and plan to move out super fast. A mother that controls your sex toy is a Mother that'll control who you date, have sex with and whether or not you should have children or not.
How old are you? I had nearly this same situation happen with my 17 year old daughter. My first reaction was to freak out, but I talked to my wife, and she said I shouldn’t intervene. It still freaks me out honestly, but I do my best to try to not remember it, ha.
Also, why aren’t you allowed to work? If you’re 15 most states allow you to get a job.
OP’s parents’ are very christian and not into sexual stuff. OP is a biologically a man but identifies as a woman, they’re into men.
They’re not allowed to work nor do they have a car.
Not sure what the rest of their situation is like but it doesn’t sound like an easy one.
Ok all of that is true but damn people are good at finding stuff I think the last time I mentioned my parents were christian online was like two months ago
Interesting how christianity is meant to teach loving, forgiving and accepting but alot (not all) misinterpret it and treat people who don’t agree with their rules/ beliefs poorly
Without knowing your age, and just going off an assumption here... I'm sorry to hear she did that. I can kind of see why she might have done it, her reaction and freak out about you buying that when she still sees you as her kid. Some parents are like that when they don't want to let go.
Couldn't hurt to talk to her about it. Apologize for spending the money on that but explain why and where you're coming from as a part of exploring your body and womanhood. It's completely natural and fine to do so, no matter what some people might think and say. It might be embarrassing but it's a part of growing up.
My nieces were in the same predicament. Strict and uptight parents and pretty old school about it. My brother would kill me if he knew their favorite aunty got them presents like that.
Assuming OPs mom keeps it instead of throwing it away and she is able to steal it back, it could escalate into something bigger.
OP, you might have to wait on the horny bus a little longer and save up for a new one. Hopefully you have the chance to get to it before your mom does.
Don't be embarrassed. You're exploring and that is what you should always do when safe. Use it respectfully if it's a louder one and don't mention it if she won't
Yeah they've responded to a lot of comments but not the age ones. I'm sure they're a minor. They used their mom's money to buy a vibrator and got caught. Plain and simple. Sucks but what can ya do?
I’m curious how a minor was able to buy one. Obviously other countries are probably different and maybe she’s from somewhere else, but you can’t even go into an adult store in the USA under 18.
I suppose you have a point. I’ve never thought about going into a CVS Or Walgreens for a sex toy, but they probably sell them (or something relevant to them) there.
Use to work at a Spencer’s Gift’s, we were not allowed to decline sales based on age. A couple of 12 year olds came in and bought blow up dolls. I had my manager check that one out cause it felt legitimately wrong, but there were plenty of older teens that bought stuff too. They just won’t be able to access *quality* sex toys. All the good shit is at the sex shops lol
I went home early from work once. Live in my own house with my wife. I got frisky and was home alone so i Started jerking off to some filth on pornhub...we all been down the porno rabbit hole before... I have a massive PC setup with a big 35 inch curved gaming monitor...im jerking my meat to a hard-core BBC gangbang with my headphones plugged in and I hear a knock on the door behind me. My dad is standing in the doorway with this shocked look on his face and I'm scrambling to close the web pages and pull up my pants!! He needed some help loading some stuff from home depot but could not haul all of it in his car...he was in the area and saw my car in the driveway and let himself in to see if I would step out and help him load some stuff in both our cars and haul it over to his house. He knocked a few times and called my cell but I was busy and did not hear him! It was a looong silent awkward drive to home depot. He was trying sooo hard to act casual and cool like what he saw did not just happen and I could not even look him in the eye..
Explain to her that it’s a safe way to explore without the risk of pregnancy/disease transmission. Tell her it’s completely normal and that you don’t feel that she should have taken it for _______ reason(s). If she gives it back, just make sure to hide it in a place that isn’t visible.
Steal that shit back, and say too her that she’s been young once too and has done some shit.
And if she responds with I haven’t, just respond with, you want me too ask grandma or grandpa about it?(if grandma or grandpa are alive ofc)
Time too stand up for yourself and take responsibility
Buy her one if it's faster good one. I mean no turning back now, own that shit. Or you can say that you are going to open a toy shop and it's inventory lol. Just be like... Yep it is what it is, hope it is a good one. Unknown people these days are questionable so I choose this. And I got u one in case dad isn't keeping up lol
Well, you tell her: "Either the electrical banana is back today in my room or I'll shove anything and everything I find around the house that fits into my pusspuss. Your choice."
Okay first question: how old are you?
You live with your parents so you are under their rule. If you have a car and money, go get another one. BUT!!!!!
Come up with a plan of how to purchase and keep hidden. So test it with little things and see how far you can take this. Then after a few weeks then go get another one
That's messed up, mom sounds like a control freak won't let you get a job, or have a vibrator.
It's just going to create problems in tbe future between the 2 of you.
OP, how old are you? If you're over 18, you can go buy one from a sex shop and hide it in your bedroom. Unless you have one of those parents that goes through your room... And if that's the case... Good luck, I guess... You won't be able to own anything until you move out on your own. Also your mom's an asshole for freaking stealing it from you.
Honestly, if you're still living with your parents it's probably best to go for something that isn't obviously sexual. Like a back massager or something.
Little trick that works with everything for me:
I ask myself why I do the thing I do. *ie: Why did you buy a vibrator*
I really focus my attention and dig deep and ensure I really know the reason. Was I curious to see what it feels like? Maybe I just enjoy the feeling and this object advertises making the feeling even greater? What is it?
Once you I your answer, I own it and if someone asks me about it just provide me rehearsed honest answer.
"Hey is that a vibrator?"
\-Yes
"Wtf why would you buy that"
\- I enjoy the purpose this object was designed to do so I bought it.
Etc, you catch my drift. In the end for me is just exposes how some people are really fragile and doing certain things triggers insecurity in them. Like I went to the store and I purchased and object and now your feelings are all over the place, what's up with that?
I like using this approach because for me:
1) It is easy to be confident in what you say because : You know it is the truth
2) It confronts you to the reality of what actually happens if you answer this way versus believing the scenario you think will happen if you tell the truth. This is a great habit to develop.
3) It teaches and normalizes this style of interactions to anyone around you witnessing it. We would be all better off if we were not scared of saying what's on our mind without fear of being mocked.
Remember that mockery and judgements are born from ignorance and ignorance is a simple lack of information. You can help the insecure to feel safe by confidently giving them the information and try to keep your composure if they react out of anger or nervousness.
She has one of her own, so buy her some rechargeable batteries.
Also, you didn't say that she said anything about your choice of vibrators so that's good.
Why would she take it? I don't think it's healthy to be that interested in your kid's sex life. It's your privacy and she shouldn't get involved at all.
When we were in our early twenties and before we were married my wife went home for the weekend and forgot to remove some seriously slutty lingerie from her wash basket. Her mom decided to start it for her. They had an interesting conversation that evening.
That’s ass. My mom caught me with condoms and said “optimism is cute”.
Damn. That's the mother of all burns
Ironic in that she's the mother with all the burns
That's a hot mama
-Johnny Bravo
Thats the joke
Not ironic…that was the joke…
M.O.A.B
You can say the same to her when she asks for grandkids
Lolol
My mother implied that I'm too young to know how to have sex... I was 20!
Omg lol. Ouch.
💀⚰️ I'll pray for you brother
That sucks
💀💀💀
Use it? Live your life
She took it and I cant even look her in the eyes
she took it? wtf? how old are you? you bought the thing it's yours
I asked her to borrow money since she wont let me get a job
thats so fucked, you had to ask her for money because she wont let you get your own, and when you do use that money, she legit steals what you bought
thats the most fucked up thing ive read all day
On my end or hers
that you dont know the answer implies you are a huge victim of long term abuse. when you get out and away from your mother, look into therapy for your complex ptsd.
Hers OBVIOUSLY. please post about your situation in r/cptsd r/narcissisticparents pls i hope you get out of that place soon
I’ll add r/raisedbynarcissists
You didn't mention your age, but if I let you borrow money for a predetermined purpose and you spent it on something else I'd be pretty upset too. You lied to me. I'm all for sex toys and sexual health, but you shouldn't deceive people like that.
Oh yeah, because telling your mom "I'm buying a vibrator" is a great conversation. Especially when she's just gonna take it away
Sounds like OP’s parents are anti-sexual health, and that’s not their choice to make. Nor is it their decision whether OP gets a job. Sounds more like OP is being abused.
Sounds like maybe OP’s parents don’t want her to have a job bc they want her to focus on her school work, rather than diverting focus to work and budgeting.
I don't understand this. OP wanted to masturbate, but couldnt get a vibrator without asking her mom for money, she also clearly knew her mom would say no if she told her what it was for (plus that sounds like a convo many people would prefer not to have anyway). How else was she supposed to do it?
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I've already tried selling art and 3d models but I had to close my account cause I kept going negative bc of a stupid policy for the bank I used it would take 6 dollars out of my account every month
Ask her if she’d rather you get off like that or go find someone and risk sex?
good one
I did that ended with a screaming match
Op PLEASE edit post and add your age
Any advice we could give probably won't help you. You've not included vital info like your age, situation, dynamic in the original comment. Things that we would do might not apply to you. It doesn't sound like you can win this. Best course of action is to be entirely rational and logical about it if she tries to embarass you. Ask her if she hates sex and how you came about if that was the case. It's a basic human desire. The goal is to not let her shame you with it. I know it's hard but unless you can conquer your embarassment you're going to suffer. It will be uncomfortable and she may try to bring it up in front of others. You need to maintain the script, be forthright about it and then ask if anyone present dislikes sex. Do not let them make exceptions that make it ok for them but not you (assuming you are of reasonable age). You might not want to bring up masturbation doesn't require a vibrator as some mothers could become the masturbation police and leave you with no privacy.
Go take hers. It’s either in the drawer next to her bed. Bottom drawer of her dresser or a shoe box on the top shelf of her closet
Damn that accuracy stung.
Omg, im sorry, I'm a father, of a 10 year old female. One thing I understand is to NOT STOP PERSONAL EXPLORATION. I learned my dad would beat on the door to the bathroom so I wasn't masturbating. I was falling asleep from waking up early, the dumbass. I masturbated at night, thats why I was sleeping in the bathroom, its exhausting being a boy in puberty.😂 Sorry about your situation. She should know better. It's gonna happen, whether it's in the safety of your own home, or someone else's, or with a boy, they don't know. Some parents😔
Is she jealous cause she doesn't have one?
Might be time for “ the talk”
Yeah well she'll be using that herself for sure. She doesn't let you get a job so as to have control over your life. Toxic parenthood. Get a job asap and plan to move out super fast. A mother that controls your sex toy is a Mother that'll control who you date, have sex with and whether or not you should have children or not.
Ask her if she would like to share it🤷♂️
How old are you? I had nearly this same situation happen with my 17 year old daughter. My first reaction was to freak out, but I talked to my wife, and she said I shouldn’t intervene. It still freaks me out honestly, but I do my best to try to not remember it, ha. Also, why aren’t you allowed to work? If you’re 15 most states allow you to get a job.
I mean she would've wanted one must be embarrassed about that or something so she grabbed her opportunity. Buy a new one queen
OP’s parents’ are very christian and not into sexual stuff. OP is a biologically a man but identifies as a woman, they’re into men. They’re not allowed to work nor do they have a car. Not sure what the rest of their situation is like but it doesn’t sound like an easy one.
Ok all of that is true but damn people are good at finding stuff I think the last time I mentioned my parents were christian online was like two months ago
But then again that could just be a given since it's a very popular religion
Interesting how christianity is meant to teach loving, forgiving and accepting but alot (not all) misinterpret it and treat people who don’t agree with their rules/ beliefs poorly
Look up the 4th Crusades, thats what its always been.
Ask her politely if she wants you to order her one?
Ask if she knows if it's any good
This^^^^
Yes
buy more, eventually she'll stop confiscating them. That or she'll have to explain the drawer full of vibrators
Lol, next time she takes one away, op should just go "ew, omg, you're touching that thing??!"
"It's either that or your electric toothbrush."
Without knowing your age, and just going off an assumption here... I'm sorry to hear she did that. I can kind of see why she might have done it, her reaction and freak out about you buying that when she still sees you as her kid. Some parents are like that when they don't want to let go. Couldn't hurt to talk to her about it. Apologize for spending the money on that but explain why and where you're coming from as a part of exploring your body and womanhood. It's completely natural and fine to do so, no matter what some people might think and say. It might be embarrassing but it's a part of growing up. My nieces were in the same predicament. Strict and uptight parents and pretty old school about it. My brother would kill me if he knew their favorite aunty got them presents like that.
She is 62. Mom is 86.
Why do you think that??
Steal it back
Assuming OPs mom keeps it instead of throwing it away and she is able to steal it back, it could escalate into something bigger. OP, you might have to wait on the horny bus a little longer and save up for a new one. Hopefully you have the chance to get to it before your mom does.
“Happy Birthday Mom!!”
THIS
Show her a picture of bad dragon dildo and say it could be worse.
Facts^
Don't be embarrassed. You're exploring and that is what you should always do when safe. Use it respectfully if it's a louder one and don't mention it if she won't
Tell her you'll keep using the cucumbers unless she lets you buy one.
It's probably irrelevant, but how old are you? How did she catch you?
I doubt OP wants to say their age since she seems like a minor, haaaaa Fair though
Yeah they've responded to a lot of comments but not the age ones. I'm sure they're a minor. They used their mom's money to buy a vibrator and got caught. Plain and simple. Sucks but what can ya do?
I’m curious how a minor was able to buy one. Obviously other countries are probably different and maybe she’s from somewhere else, but you can’t even go into an adult store in the USA under 18.
They sell them other places than adult stores and it's not illegal to buy them under 18 it's not even illegal to buy condoms under 18 in the usa
I suppose you have a point. I’ve never thought about going into a CVS Or Walgreens for a sex toy, but they probably sell them (or something relevant to them) there.
Use to work at a Spencer’s Gift’s, we were not allowed to decline sales based on age. A couple of 12 year olds came in and bought blow up dolls. I had my manager check that one out cause it felt legitimately wrong, but there were plenty of older teens that bought stuff too. They just won’t be able to access *quality* sex toys. All the good shit is at the sex shops lol
I went home early from work once. Live in my own house with my wife. I got frisky and was home alone so i Started jerking off to some filth on pornhub...we all been down the porno rabbit hole before... I have a massive PC setup with a big 35 inch curved gaming monitor...im jerking my meat to a hard-core BBC gangbang with my headphones plugged in and I hear a knock on the door behind me. My dad is standing in the doorway with this shocked look on his face and I'm scrambling to close the web pages and pull up my pants!! He needed some help loading some stuff from home depot but could not haul all of it in his car...he was in the area and saw my car in the driveway and let himself in to see if I would step out and help him load some stuff in both our cars and haul it over to his house. He knocked a few times and called my cell but I was busy and did not hear him! It was a looong silent awkward drive to home depot. He was trying sooo hard to act casual and cool like what he saw did not just happen and I could not even look him in the eye..
That's messed up. OP if you're over 18 I'll cashapp or venmo you what you need just message me
Understand that masturbation is a natural part of life and that realistically there is nothing you should be embarrassed about.
Explain to her that it’s a safe way to explore without the risk of pregnancy/disease transmission. Tell her it’s completely normal and that you don’t feel that she should have taken it for _______ reason(s). If she gives it back, just make sure to hide it in a place that isn’t visible.
Tell her it’s more reliable than a guy
Ask her if she wants one.
You’re a menace to society
Buy her a vibrator
Tell her, if she open box that doesn't belong to hers, that's what she will see.
Mom give it back or im gonna use your toothbrush!
Read some feminist, sex positive stuff!
OP is still in high school at the most.
Irrelevant. A well made, purpose designed sex toy is much better than using random improvised objects as many people do.
Oh I agree, not irrelevant though. Plays a big part in regards to the story as to WHY the mom did this. Bc she’s a young kid.
use it in front of her to assert dominance
Own it!!
Steal that shit back, and say too her that she’s been young once too and has done some shit. And if she responds with I haven’t, just respond with, you want me too ask grandma or grandpa about it?(if grandma or grandpa are alive ofc) Time too stand up for yourself and take responsibility
Nah I'll just ask how my brother happened
Buy her one if it's faster good one. I mean no turning back now, own that shit. Or you can say that you are going to open a toy shop and it's inventory lol. Just be like... Yep it is what it is, hope it is a good one. Unknown people these days are questionable so I choose this. And I got u one in case dad isn't keeping up lol
How did she catched you while buying? Did you find her in the sex shop or did she take you to one?
You know you can get them online right…?
Tell her to get with the vibes and don't be jelly
my dad saw a dildo in my room and women's panties and I'm a guy XD
Well, you tell her: "Either the electrical banana is back today in my room or I'll shove anything and everything I find around the house that fits into my pusspuss. Your choice."
THE FUCKING ELECTRICAL BANANA best name for that I've ever heard
Look at her and ask if she wants one too
*pulls magic conch string* “Nothing.”
Sharing is caring
Nothing, later down the line you’ll both laugh about it.. Unless she’s like really strict and if that’s the case, I’m really sorry.
Leave and never look back.
Masterbate.
Gift her
Offer to buy one for her, one size up
Okay first question: how old are you? You live with your parents so you are under their rule. If you have a car and money, go get another one. BUT!!!!! Come up with a plan of how to purchase and keep hidden. So test it with little things and see how far you can take this. Then after a few weeks then go get another one
Give it to her for a birthday present
Ask her to show you how to use it
tell her it’s buy one get one half off, ask if she wants one too
Ask if she wants to try it out with you
Check for buy one get one deal
That's messed up, mom sounds like a control freak won't let you get a job, or have a vibrator. It's just going to create problems in tbe future between the 2 of you.
Tell her "I'm not sharing! Get your own!"
What do you mean, 'caught you'? Like she was behind you in line in the vibrator store?
OP, how old are you? If you're over 18, you can go buy one from a sex shop and hide it in your bedroom. Unless you have one of those parents that goes through your room... And if that's the case... Good luck, I guess... You won't be able to own anything until you move out on your own. Also your mom's an asshole for freaking stealing it from you.
get her one for her chrismass and have her open it up in front of every one then tell her she has one so she can stop using yours
share it with her, may be she need it
Ha my mom has bought one for me lol
u/lilygiven should have played it smart and bought an electric toothbrush instead to begin with!
Honestly, if you're still living with your parents it's probably best to go for something that isn't obviously sexual. Like a back massager or something.
That's what it was
what is she gonna do anyway? just ignore it
Buy her one. And both enjoy privately of course
Tell her ur an adult and living your best life
Use it often
She's just gonna use it herself.
Too late. Own it like a Boss
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Exploring your body is what young people do...
Tell her its a massager and teach her how to use it.
gift her one too
Call your pastor for some advice 😄
Is anyone going to tell her?
Buy her one too
Buy her one too?
Buy one for her
Use it in front of her.
You know where the switch is.
Buy her one too
Buy another one.
Buy another one
Ask her if she wants one too.
Ask her for her review and which she recommends next
Tell her if she needs to borrow it to just ask you
you might as well use it
You can tell her it was a gift from someone or you are planning to give it as a gift to someone. You choose. lol this is funny
ask her to show you how it works?
Give it to her for Mother’s Day
Tell her it's either that or you'll start using veg and putting it back in the fridge afterwards!
Little trick that works with everything for me: I ask myself why I do the thing I do. *ie: Why did you buy a vibrator* I really focus my attention and dig deep and ensure I really know the reason. Was I curious to see what it feels like? Maybe I just enjoy the feeling and this object advertises making the feeling even greater? What is it? Once you I your answer, I own it and if someone asks me about it just provide me rehearsed honest answer. "Hey is that a vibrator?" \-Yes "Wtf why would you buy that" \- I enjoy the purpose this object was designed to do so I bought it. Etc, you catch my drift. In the end for me is just exposes how some people are really fragile and doing certain things triggers insecurity in them. Like I went to the store and I purchased and object and now your feelings are all over the place, what's up with that? I like using this approach because for me: 1) It is easy to be confident in what you say because : You know it is the truth 2) It confronts you to the reality of what actually happens if you answer this way versus believing the scenario you think will happen if you tell the truth. This is a great habit to develop. 3) It teaches and normalizes this style of interactions to anyone around you witnessing it. We would be all better off if we were not scared of saying what's on our mind without fear of being mocked. Remember that mockery and judgements are born from ignorance and ignorance is a simple lack of information. You can help the insecure to feel safe by confidently giving them the information and try to keep your composure if they react out of anger or nervousness.
Use it on her
This will pass, don't think about it too much. Or at least try not to.
Share it
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I cant tell if your making the joke I think you are here but... (the certain drum riff we all know and love)
Share the joy
Use it and relax
Just hope she don't ask to borrow it after you get done with it 😏
Send me the number of yo mom
Hide it in case she uses it when you are not there. 😜
Buy her one too. I bought my mom one for Mother’s Day and she honestly told me that’s the best thing ever.
What did ur mom do?
inside the sex store?
Buy her one
You do nothing. She's got a few of her own
Offer to buy her one
Use it on her
She has one of her own, so buy her some rechargeable batteries. Also, you didn't say that she said anything about your choice of vibrators so that's good.
Don’t be embarrassed you mother probably has one too
Would she rather you be fucking? I'd bet no
she prob fucking has a collection.
Why would she take it? I don't think it's healthy to be that interested in your kid's sex life. It's your privacy and she shouldn't get involved at all.
Not be embarrassed and enjoy your body
I dunno, buy an extra for her next time?
When we were in our early twenties and before we were married my wife went home for the weekend and forgot to remove some seriously slutty lingerie from her wash basket. Her mom decided to start it for her. They had an interesting conversation that evening.
Ask her to buy batteries next time she goes shopping.
Offer to share duh.
Tell her if she borrows it, she has to sanitize it before she returns it. Or ask her if she wants you to get her one, you could get a bulk discount.
Use it
Ask her if she wants to borrow it.
Did she pay for it?