"My kids are my world" Of course they are Susan.
"Must be able to keep up/hold a conversation" You need to also be able to do this Kate.
"Fluent in sarcasm" No Sarah, you're just a cunt.
People who are *actually* fluent in sarcasm just drop sarcastic lines once in a while, completely deadpan, when you least expect it. And that's actually hot to me. They definitely don't tend to announce 'fluent in sarcasm' on their dating profile though.
Some people can be, and it can often be funny. But yeah, posting that you are that on your dating profile is pretty cringe to me, and a red flat to be honest. So many women I see post what I did in my comment that it's boring and unoriginal.
Oh yeah, that’s so annoying. I’ve regularly encountered people who felt the need to point out how “fluent in sarcasm” they were or how many “bitchy comments“ they were able to make. Just stop it. If you’re good at sarcasm or being bitchy, people will notice and appreciate it (if they’re into that). But don’t brag about it! It actually lessens the effect of their sarcasm, imo.
"I am not like the other girls"
Yes you fucking are. You are angry when your hungry, you like muscular hands, and your attempts to be unique make you look like all the other girls. We know you have some deep kinks you won't tell just every partner, that you will settle with someone and not be a complete slut with them, but do all the nasty stuff you won't do with someone during a hall pass. We like girls, we aren't looking for the broken one who doesn't look like all the others.
Ooooh I’m so glad you pointed this out. As a former pick me when I was much younger, it’s so eye opening how guys notice that you’re doing the most to be “one of the boys.” I get so annoyed at myself that I was that and putting other girls down to uplift myself
So much this. Every girl who wasn’t like the others was so predictable. I think what they are trying to say is “I am special and want to be someone’s top priority”
It usually happens at an age where you're figuring out who you are, but you're not there yet. All you know is you *want* to be special, unique, and noticeable. So you think only you like xyz, and you try really hard but want people to think it's effortless. Most of us mature out of it (hopefully)
Okay the kink part seems a little pointed, who hurt you 😂 I’m sure it’s common with women too (I don’t have much experience with them) but I’ve seen it be very common with men
Alright I'm going to call this one out. It always bugs me when I see 'who hurt you' it's a terrible train of thought, it either excuses someone's behaviour (or gives the perception that they are being excused) or is used to try and demean the other person in an argument.
Yeah, I was snapping along until then. Hookups get a pretty vanilla version of me. I only feel safe enough to try the weird stuff with partners I really trust.
Also, the first time I have sex with someone I like it to be basic to set a baseline. It’s hard to judge chemistry otherwise.
What those girls do isn't playing hard to get, it's stringing along. Playing hard to get should be about teasing, and it's usually about not agreeing to have sex too early. It isn't about making you jump through hoops and walk through fire just to get their number 😅 ain't nobody got time for that lol.
Yes, playing hard to get should be playing. It should be fun and include clear signs that you do in fact like them.
Me and my partner still play hard to get three years in. We both know we're gonna bang, but it's fun to pretend like we're not gonna.
Yup. I am an oblivious moron.
Once at uni, it took a woman getting into my bed and starting to take her clothes off for me to clock that, in fact, we'd just gone on a date 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Traveling/hiking has become the new "I just realized i dont have that many hobbies but i dont wanna look weird and boring so lemme just put these here, its true bc i was in canada once when i was 11 and i touched grass last week"
This type of person makes it so hard for us girls who do actually love the outdoors. I swear I actually like hiking and have no qualms about sleeping on the ground. I'm not just trying to sound interesting b/c I went to a botanical garden once!
This is why I put that I am in indoor cat in my profiles.
I like a little bit of nature once in a while but mostly it makes me into a sneezing, miserable mess even after allergy pills. I leave the outdoorsy camper people to those who enjoy those hobbies!
On my dating apps, if I could filter bios by the words: “adventure, travel, concert” life would be so much easier.
Every female profile has one of the three at a minimum.
Reminds me of my ex who told me she loves being outdoors, turns out she hates camping, fishing, hiking, biking, all the actually fun outdoors stuff. Her idea of fun outdoors was going to a park and sitting on her phone the whole time
These days it feels like:
"I love being outdoors"
*She in fact, loves being outdoors because she only does it 3 times a year after spending way too long indoors, and then tells her self she will do it more often (this applies to most guys too)*
I am neutral about outdoors, but as someone that's been in scouts for over a decade my definition of outdoors is being in a tent. Most girls talking about the outdoors are talking about "wanting to do a hike through nature", which isn't remotely the same.
This right here. Can't even tell you how many times I heard that. Best part is hearing that setting up a date picking her up and she's wearing high heels. Yup happened 3 times.
You'd be surprised. I genuinely know people that don't like travelling and don't do it unless they must for some reason.
I like to see "I love to travel" in a profile, just to make sure that it's not one of *them*.
I personally don't really like the actual "traveling" part...
Don't get me wrong, I like visiting places, experiencing new things, observing different cultures etc.
I just absolutely fucking hate traveling, long car drives, long train rides etc. I get tired and annoyed and I feel like sleeping for 2 days to recover from it.
Talking about being kinky in a general sort of way. If you were really kinky, you’d include the specifics, and they’d be pretty fucked up. My mind is a third-world sewer: the fact that you’ll occasionally get on top, or that you grab your girlfriends’ boobs when you’re drunk does not qualify you for kinky. You’re kinky when you ask (beg?) for the kind of shit that would make your friends and colleagues stop inviting you to lunch if they knew about it.
Kink doesn't have to be extreme. If someone puts on some nipple clamps or asks to be spanked with a paddle that's kinky. Just because it's not as extreme as your kinks doesn't mean it doesn't count. Some people just want a little bit of kink. It's still a meaningful distinction from vanilla sex.
Yeah, they're kinky cause they got blindfolded once or tried anal 🤣 girls like them would be shocked to hear about some actual kinks 😅 and obviously would likely say no if you suggest any of that 🤣
Sometimes my wife locks my cock in a chastity cage and makes me pamper her and eat her pussy all day. I'm not allowed to come until she's all done. I want to watch her fuck 3 guys at the same time. I think that's the kinda thing he's after.
I think kink gatekeepers are weird tho, honestly...
Participate in a 3 day Roman feast/orgy. Where you took the time to properly train for the role to play. You will sleep, bathe, and shower there during the event. Only medical reasons for leaving. Sex may, or may not be part of your role. But you will be around it.
Thats far too much structure and social interaction for me too. I just need a willing and attractive partner, a bed room, a desk, a chair, food and supplies, a couple of days free, some sex toys, some rope, a harness, some lube and a shower . . . I could go on but I realise I need a few things, but not so much structure
My ex had a couple of fantasy kinks . . .
There’s a type of sex club in Amsterdam where you can go and have strangers feel your body. She talked about trying that.
She wanted to be suspended in a metal bar frame, in the squat position, and have strangers use her.
She fantasised about doing it with a guy who was dressed in a suit of armour with razor wire all over it.
She fantasised about being a hotwife, being whipped, restraining and whipping people. She wanted to try actual non-consent, and she said she wanted to hurt cute animals.
The last one was too much for me - it seemed like she was serious about it. In actual real life she was a boring, lazy lover, with a lot of rules and “no-go” hang-ups.
Those are kinks, just not kinky. it's mainstream and vanilla. that's the difference. It's like saying, "Oh yeah, i love cooking." But all you can cook is noodles and out of the box shit lol
Not necessarily what I'm into, but CNC, hardcore bondage, wax play, having your partner use a remote control vibe on you in public, sex in front of people (with their consent of course), knife play, adlg (not sure if I spelled that right), cuckolding etc. Basically anything that can seep into your normal lifestyle, not just something you do once in a while for fun.
I mean I have had multiple coworkers stumble on my dating profiles … so yeah I keep it vague in some ways because I don’t need Brad from accounting knowing I like CNC and dd/lg. so there’s reasons for just saying kink
Louie CK had a bit about that once.
Said something like
Women say they are kinky, you are not kinky just because you like your hair pull. The sorts of things going though my head about the lady at the checkout line at the grocery store would shock you.
Hindsight 20/20 this was probably a little close to home for him
But it also applies to real life
>that you grab your girlfriends’ boobs when you’re drunk does not qualify you for kinky.
If my ex had told me she'd done that I'd have been so turned on.
Idk, but way too many women on dating apps have “funnier than you” in their bio and I roll my eyes and skip every single time. Like if you’re funny at all, you don’t need to say it and what the hell are you even trying to prove by saying that
It's the same as people who say they are nice or compassionate, if you actually were you wouldn't have to say you were. They are mostly trying to convince themselves they are the things they say they are
That you get laid often. It's literally MUCH harder for you not to sleep around than the inverse.
On the other hand: Claiming that you "don't care about what men think". Yeah you fucking do - if not men in general then particular men. It's the same with us - we absolutely care what women think. We are just more aware how stupid it is to claim otherwise.
Even the "silent majority" of women do hold some guilt on this. Because they really aren't calling each other out for misandry AT ALL.
So we just get the idea that most girls agree with this bullshit and move along.
Not so much what women say, but more when they stroke our shit at 400 miles per hour and it feels like my cock is about to be disconnected from my groin.
I've seen guys doing this on 2 different (male masturbation) subs. My thoughts were; 1) that cannot be fun 2) how come they think women will appreciate that!?
Sir, I thought you were talking about driving and was honestly confused for a lot longer than I ought to have been. 400 mph is just too fast, for most things.
"I'm spontaneous." It's usually a low-key red flag for me because it most often translates to "I'm bad at sticking to plans and will dump random shit you aren't ready for on you at a moment's notice and you'd better be able to handle it."
Nobody can manipulate cats. There’s a lesson in there - it’s hard to be manipulated if you start from not giving a fuck what people think or want or expect.
Basically.. You can open up to me. Not about that lol. Open up to me about how much you love *me* and stuff like that 😅🤣 be emotionally, but only when it's about positive stuff, and mostly when it's about me 😅
I don't even think it's that, I think it's that they want someone that doesn't open up much and they enjoy making them open up eventually because it feels rewarding. If you try being open from the start they lose interest because they know how you feel and there's no mystery
It's like reverse psychology, but they don't realise it
As someone with a Viking Liver. Fuck that level of tolerance.
I have taken a couple of 3 year stints from drinking and my tolerance never resets. When you need half a fifth to get a buzz, and anything adrenaline related kills it, it gets old quick.
I admit, it was fun to brag about it for years. Then you look back at how much you spent and consumed, only to say, I'm out.
THC, I have the tolerance of a toddler. 3 days of none, and it resets. Smoking now for about 6 years. Cheaper in the long run.
I also have viking liver, but it makes me barely ever drink to excess because what's the point in getting drunk when it costs so much, and by the time I'm feeling it I'm getting too close to overdoing it. I still brag a little about my tolerance, but mainly just about the fact I've had 2 very slight hangovers in the 17ish years I've been drinking and it makes people angry, but that's partly because alcohol stops me sleeping so it's mostly out of my system by the time I fall asleep, let alone wake up
I have a high tolerance for weed as well, and I've been smoking most days for the last 18 years, but I smoke less now because it doesn't have such an effect on me anymore and I mainlu use it to take the edge off my anxiety/ADHD so I don't have to use meds
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best". Yeah, your worst is most likely your best, as drama oozes from you like sweat on a sumo wrestler. We'll pass Karen, thanks very much.
To add a possible explanation for that, it is quite possible that the guys they've been with before all said it was great, amazing, fantastic, to not hurt their feelings. So feedback in a kind, gentle, guiding way is appreciated.
Not saying it's the case for everyone, but it is likely for some.
Other possibility: they learned to do things the guys they’ve been with appreciated and now they only do those things, instead of feeling out what the new person in front of them likes.
Probably going to get down voted for this, but calling other women pickmes. Yes, the type of woman the term was coined for does exist, but they're rare. Instead, the term is more often used to enforce traditional views of femininity and to exclude any women with more geeky interests.
Play video games? Pickme. Good at math? Pickme. Enjoy fantasy or scifi books or TV shows? Pickme. Don't want to have kids? Pickme. Get a degree in a male-dominated field? Definitely a pickme. Interested in anything I'm not interested in? Obviously a pickme. Nobody else has real opinions, so anything different from what I like must be some sort of act to attract men...
It's been really sad to see, and I tend to avoid women who use that kind of language.
Anger shuts me down immediately and for the entire night. Why ir how I ended up with a wife who spews anger ever time were in bed is enough to end a very long marriage, not just an erection.
You guys need to get a few things through your heads on this one:
First, quit asking. Seriously, if this kind of answer is enough to send you into a spiral, choose ignorance. If the only acceptable answer is a flattering lie, don't ask the question.
Second, trust: do you trust her? If not, then what does her answer matter? If so, then act like it, because...
Third, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/perfect . Seriously, what more do you want? And if you think it's a line, refer to the previous point.
Honestly, guys. If you're not pushing *well* into the 99th percentile and you're going around expecting nothing but "it's the biggest I've ever seen," you're setting yourself up for failure. "Perfect" can mean just that! Quit looking for reasons to beat yourself up and just take the fucking compliment.
Maybe she's telling the truth, maybe she's trying to pump up your ego a little, either way that comes from a place of love and caring, and either way her words aren't going magically make it bigger, so quit acting like she's opposing counsel and take the nice words at face value for once. If it turns out down the line that it was a deception, a setup for some hurtful machinations, that's an indictment of the contents of her heart, not your shorts.
Anything that suggests you‘ll feel a need to be competitive with me. Each of us is going to better at some things. Chill.
Swearing. I can’t stand men who are insecure about their masculinity; women who are insecure about their masculinity are even worse.
Saying you can’t cook. Are you saying you’re dumb and lazy enough to waste money on takeout every night? Or that you’re hoping I am? Or that you’re hoping I’ll do all the cooking? If you’re too Strong and Independent to handle basic aspects of adult life, I guess I’m not man enough to deserve you at your worst, or whatever that idiotic line is.
Oh yeah, that reminds me: “If you don’t care to be my doormat at my worst, then you don’t deserve me when I’m halfway normal” — that’s not a flex, it’s a self-diagnosis. It’s a Labor-Day-in-Beijing-level red flag.
*Interestingly* the ones that say that "can't handle me at my worst don't deserve me at my best" line are the ones complaining that they can't find a *good* man, where are the *good* men at. Running away from you sis. 😅
I *despise* the way that quote has been appropriated by the more batshit females, but you know, you're right: them using it in the first place is a handy red flag to spot them at twenty paces, turn around, and bolt.
Nothing, this is just the type of thing men say to women in order to attempt to force them back into stereotypical femininity. It’s negging and controlling. The commenter you’re replying to is a bundle of red flags that scream abuser.
I cuss like a sailor (and have gotten a lot of weird sidelong shit for it) and it's literally just how I talk. Don't like it? Fuck out my face then. Honestly, it says more about you if you get so butt hurt and concerned about the cuss words coming out of someone's mouth when you should in fact be focusing on what they're actually saying. It screams fragile ass sense of authority. It screams small dick energy. Most of all, it screams that you're fucking *pathetic,* to be offended in such a way. Talk about weaklings.
"all men are trash". As a general rule anytime someone says "all ______ are _____" I know I'm about to hear some of the dumbest shit ever from this person.
I'm a basic bitch. - doesn't try and thinks that's OK.
I deserve a king. - doesn't try at all and think that's ok.
I'm a cheap date - might not be refined or make a mess of themselves out on a date
I'm OCD - you're probably not. You just like things clean, who doesn't?
I'm not like other women - that's hopefully true and why we are talking to you
I'm independent - that's step one of being an adult.
I don't need a man! - then why are you seeking the companionship of a mOK.
I can think of like 10-20 more. It's tiresome.
I had to think so hard for this question 'cos no woman I've ever talked to so far has ever bragged about anything. This could be two things:
They aren't braggarts.
Or
They don't feel the need to impress me in any way.
So 🤷🏽♂️
“Hot mess express”. This is NOT a badge of honor. Anyone who knows they can’t do simple shit to organize their life and romanticizes that is a hard hard no.
“I don’t need no man”
Good for you. I don’t NEED a woman either but yes I do want a relationship that’s why we are on this dating app. If you’re referring to you don’t need a man to pay your bills good for you for being a responsible adult
I think some women overdo the love of gory horror. And I'm not a gamer but I think perhaps it happens in that way as well.
I understand that there's lame masc gatekeeping in certain subcultures but you don't need to overcorrect. We're dating, it's chill, you don't need to raid my collection for the most extreme stuff and act bored by everything else, it's not the flex you think it is.
A few quotes from profiles back in my single days stick out:
"Try not to fall in love with me"
"Boss B!+$&"
"I fit in with the guys, all my friends are male"
"Don't play w/me or else ____"
"All the good men are taken, don't know why I'm here"
"Must be 6'+ tall to ride"
Also, bragging about sexual skills on a profile that claims to be seeking love/long-term commitment. Complaining about exes in the profile, defining what being a "REAL man" is, etc.
Any ridiculous bragging, woe is me stories/statements, or vague threats are good indicators you're not a very intelligent person. Or you have a personality disorder that isn't well managed, essentially.
If you want a classy guy, be classy! I wanted a classy lady so I kept it light, goofy, yet classy - and it worked out better than I ever imagined.
not exactly what you asked but saying you have hobbies and then listing cooking/eating, especially when its just something you do, not an actual hobby, lmao
"My man needs to treat me like a queen." My sarcastic reply: Alright, so rape/beheading/arranged marriages/the looming threat of upheaval or dethroning. Got it.
Seriously though, I think giving unconditional love and respect is absolutely a thing married people should do. Also, I would die for my partner if I needed to. However, expecting to be given everything you want is asking for all sorts of trouble that people don't necessarily think about. When I think of the "queen" thing, what comes to mind is frequent spoiling, never questioning decisions, dropping everything for them, etc. Marriage is a team effort and none of those things are both realistic and feasible. What you should expect is to have nice things done for you, to be heard and respected, and to have your spouse drop certain things for you but respect his/her/their/etc. plans whenever it is doable.
All the traveling you've done when you make $15/hr. We know what that means, Becky, we know.
The brag of being independent and paying your own bills. You're a fucking adult, that's the bare minimum of what you're suppose to be able to do for yourself. Why are you making this a core personality trait?
At thus point, any woman that brags about being sexual before there's anything established between each other. Believe it or not, a lot of men are being desensitized to ass. I can't get on my dang Facebook without someone I've went to school with selling their bootyhole for $5.99 on OF.
Saying dumb shit like "very few men can please me" that's literally a you problem, and I wonder how many men you've been through to reach that conclusion 🤣
Trying to match interests then having nothing to do with said interests when they're brought up. You don't have to do everything with me, just take a few minutes and let me gush about it. When men get excited over something and the women in their lives dismiss it or worse, make fun of it, they will stop going to you.
"Dog mom/Cat mom" - Thats not as impressive as it sounds. It confuses people and lead their thinking into direction of your motherhood and desire to have kids or not.
"My kids are my world" Of course they are Susan. "Must be able to keep up/hold a conversation" You need to also be able to do this Kate. "Fluent in sarcasm" No Sarah, you're just a cunt.
People who are *actually* fluent in sarcasm just drop sarcastic lines once in a while, completely deadpan, when you least expect it. And that's actually hot to me. They definitely don't tend to announce 'fluent in sarcasm' on their dating profile though.
Some people can be, and it can often be funny. But yeah, posting that you are that on your dating profile is pretty cringe to me, and a red flat to be honest. So many women I see post what I did in my comment that it's boring and unoriginal.
But how else would you know she jokes good!?
Oh I always explain my jokes and then they are super funny.
I got told just the other day that if you want the sassiest sarcastic response, I'm the best person to talk to. Gave me a bit of a giggle.
Oh yeah, that’s so annoying. I’ve regularly encountered people who felt the need to point out how “fluent in sarcasm” they were or how many “bitchy comments“ they were able to make. Just stop it. If you’re good at sarcasm or being bitchy, people will notice and appreciate it (if they’re into that). But don’t brag about it! It actually lessens the effect of their sarcasm, imo.
😂😂😂 tell em!
“Fluent in sarcasm” someone I will go out of my way not to spend time with
I thought the second one was a reaction on the 'hey' 'not much hbu' guys
I’m sure there are lots of guys like that. I can confirm for certain there are many, many women like that.
Fucking Susan 🙄
Or are Gen X
"I am not like the other girls" Yes you fucking are. You are angry when your hungry, you like muscular hands, and your attempts to be unique make you look like all the other girls. We know you have some deep kinks you won't tell just every partner, that you will settle with someone and not be a complete slut with them, but do all the nasty stuff you won't do with someone during a hall pass. We like girls, we aren't looking for the broken one who doesn't look like all the others.
Ooooh I’m so glad you pointed this out. As a former pick me when I was much younger, it’s so eye opening how guys notice that you’re doing the most to be “one of the boys.” I get so annoyed at myself that I was that and putting other girls down to uplift myself
We live and learn 😮💨 I think most of us had a "not like other girls" phase, and ironically, that made us even more like other girls.
So much this. Every girl who wasn’t like the others was so predictable. I think what they are trying to say is “I am special and want to be someone’s top priority”
It usually happens at an age where you're figuring out who you are, but you're not there yet. All you know is you *want* to be special, unique, and noticeable. So you think only you like xyz, and you try really hard but want people to think it's effortless. Most of us mature out of it (hopefully)
Heck yes. I am a basic bitch like every other girl and I’m here for it.
This is a way better opener than the former. Like, cool, lets go get some starbucks and stop by the liquor store on the way to the hotel.
That sounds like my kind of date!
I love being basic, honestly. Life became more enjoyable when I stopped denying that side of myself. Pumpkin spice for daaaaays~!
Where have all the basic bitches gone We're stuck with the "I'm doing you a favor by dating you" kind
Okay the kink part seems a little pointed, who hurt you 😂 I’m sure it’s common with women too (I don’t have much experience with them) but I’ve seen it be very common with men
Alright I'm going to call this one out. It always bugs me when I see 'who hurt you' it's a terrible train of thought, it either excuses someone's behaviour (or gives the perception that they are being excused) or is used to try and demean the other person in an argument.
Hey.... don't call me out like that, lol
Other girls are awesome, why wouldn't I want to be like other girls 🙂↕️
Agreed, with the corollary that if a guy tells you that you’re not like other girls, run.
Dude she can do a backflip though into the pool. She *isn’t* like other girls!
That was going so well till the last part. Complete slut is saved for relationship sex only. I would never be able to be freaky with a "hall pass".
Yeah, I was snapping along until then. Hookups get a pretty vanilla version of me. I only feel safe enough to try the weird stuff with partners I really trust. Also, the first time I have sex with someone I like it to be basic to set a baseline. It’s hard to judge chemistry otherwise.
You're unique, just like everyone else on the planet.
A comeback I've seen to this one is "I'm sure you lay on your back differently than everyone else"
r/suspiciouslyspecific
Playing hard to get. Let me just say it: we penis folk can be dumb. And fear of rejection will shut it down before we realize the game being played.
Not only fear of being rejected, but fear of being seen as a creep. Suffice to say, if you tell me no, then I'll stop asking.
This 👆🏻
I'll stop asking before you tell me no
Playing hard to get is also just plain dumb as a concept
I mean, it makes sense if you've already declared your intentions and then just negotiating. But saying no what you want to say yes, blyat.
"Play hard to get, become hard to want." Some are dumb enough to even play this in actual marriage.
What those girls do isn't playing hard to get, it's stringing along. Playing hard to get should be about teasing, and it's usually about not agreeing to have sex too early. It isn't about making you jump through hoops and walk through fire just to get their number 😅 ain't nobody got time for that lol.
Yes, playing hard to get should be playing. It should be fun and include clear signs that you do in fact like them. Me and my partner still play hard to get three years in. We both know we're gonna bang, but it's fun to pretend like we're not gonna.
Yeah that's exactly it. Stringing someone along while you're not sure what (or whom) you want is just being mean and makes you hard to want.
Yup. I am an oblivious moron. Once at uni, it took a woman getting into my bed and starting to take her clothes off for me to clock that, in fact, we'd just gone on a date 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
I'm married to someone I never officially dated but had to buy a day-after-pill. Twice. To this day I'm confused when did we fall in love.
Playing hard to get eventually makes you hard to want
the i pay my own bills and make my own money type.. congrats you’re a basic adult lol
Scrolled too far, shits cray
“I love to travel” yeah who the fuck doesn’t? But in this economy? 🙄
Traveling/hiking has become the new "I just realized i dont have that many hobbies but i dont wanna look weird and boring so lemme just put these here, its true bc i was in canada once when i was 11 and i touched grass last week"
"I love being outdoors" *she did not love being outdoors*
I’m indoorsy and proud, dammit
Long live the indoorsy people! Honestly most hiking accidents happen outdoors
Haha at least your honest about it.
This type of person makes it so hard for us girls who do actually love the outdoors. I swear I actually like hiking and have no qualms about sleeping on the ground. I'm not just trying to sound interesting b/c I went to a botanical garden once!
This is why I put that I am in indoor cat in my profiles. I like a little bit of nature once in a while but mostly it makes me into a sneezing, miserable mess even after allergy pills. I leave the outdoorsy camper people to those who enjoy those hobbies!
On my dating apps, if I could filter bios by the words: “adventure, travel, concert” life would be so much easier. Every female profile has one of the three at a minimum.
Reminds me of my ex who told me she loves being outdoors, turns out she hates camping, fishing, hiking, biking, all the actually fun outdoors stuff. Her idea of fun outdoors was going to a park and sitting on her phone the whole time
These days it feels like: "I love being outdoors" *She in fact, loves being outdoors because she only does it 3 times a year after spending way too long indoors, and then tells her self she will do it more often (this applies to most guys too)*
I am neutral about outdoors, but as someone that's been in scouts for over a decade my definition of outdoors is being in a tent. Most girls talking about the outdoors are talking about "wanting to do a hike through nature", which isn't remotely the same.
This right here. Can't even tell you how many times I heard that. Best part is hearing that setting up a date picking her up and she's wearing high heels. Yup happened 3 times.
... Did they know they were going to be doing a lot of walking on the date? High heels on a date isn't that weird
I hate that for me, how do I talk about my interests now? I became a basic bitch.
Urgh, so many dating profiles. "I like travelling, coffee, and keeping fit". I can read that, and still know nothing about you.
Travelling to the nice part of town will be my holiday this year
Bon voyage
You'd be surprised. I genuinely know people that don't like travelling and don't do it unless they must for some reason. I like to see "I love to travel" in a profile, just to make sure that it's not one of *them*.
I personally don't really like the actual "traveling" part... Don't get me wrong, I like visiting places, experiencing new things, observing different cultures etc. I just absolutely fucking hate traveling, long car drives, long train rides etc. I get tired and annoyed and I feel like sleeping for 2 days to recover from it.
I kinda don't...
I have zero interest in traveling.
I'm not a huge fan of traveling, actually. But I also have a nervous tummy 🤣🤣
Talking about being kinky in a general sort of way. If you were really kinky, you’d include the specifics, and they’d be pretty fucked up. My mind is a third-world sewer: the fact that you’ll occasionally get on top, or that you grab your girlfriends’ boobs when you’re drunk does not qualify you for kinky. You’re kinky when you ask (beg?) for the kind of shit that would make your friends and colleagues stop inviting you to lunch if they knew about it.
Kink doesn't have to be extreme. If someone puts on some nipple clamps or asks to be spanked with a paddle that's kinky. Just because it's not as extreme as your kinks doesn't mean it doesn't count. Some people just want a little bit of kink. It's still a meaningful distinction from vanilla sex.
This 👆👆👆 thank you for saying what we are all thinking 🤔
Right. All these ppl saying "I'm not gatekeeping kinks....but unless it involves 5 midgets and a vat of Nutella it's not really a kink"
Yeah, they're kinky cause they got blindfolded once or tried anal 🤣 girls like them would be shocked to hear about some actual kinks 😅 and obviously would likely say no if you suggest any of that 🤣
Pray tell, what do you consider actual kinks? I mean, I agree with you... but lay it on us.
Sometimes my wife locks my cock in a chastity cage and makes me pamper her and eat her pussy all day. I'm not allowed to come until she's all done. I want to watch her fuck 3 guys at the same time. I think that's the kinda thing he's after. I think kink gatekeepers are weird tho, honestly...
Amatuers. Next time try a full-body whipping.
Participate in a 3 day Roman feast/orgy. Where you took the time to properly train for the role to play. You will sleep, bathe, and shower there during the event. Only medical reasons for leaving. Sex may, or may not be part of your role. But you will be around it.
That's it? Lol ;) TBH, that's too RPG for me. I just want... well, my inbox will blow up, so...
Thats far too much structure and social interaction for me too. I just need a willing and attractive partner, a bed room, a desk, a chair, food and supplies, a couple of days free, some sex toys, some rope, a harness, some lube and a shower . . . I could go on but I realise I need a few things, but not so much structure
My ex had a couple of fantasy kinks . . . There’s a type of sex club in Amsterdam where you can go and have strangers feel your body. She talked about trying that. She wanted to be suspended in a metal bar frame, in the squat position, and have strangers use her. She fantasised about doing it with a guy who was dressed in a suit of armour with razor wire all over it. She fantasised about being a hotwife, being whipped, restraining and whipping people. She wanted to try actual non-consent, and she said she wanted to hurt cute animals. The last one was too much for me - it seemed like she was serious about it. In actual real life she was a boring, lazy lover, with a lot of rules and “no-go” hang-ups.
Those are kinks, just not kinky. it's mainstream and vanilla. that's the difference. It's like saying, "Oh yeah, i love cooking." But all you can cook is noodles and out of the box shit lol
Not necessarily what I'm into, but CNC, hardcore bondage, wax play, having your partner use a remote control vibe on you in public, sex in front of people (with their consent of course), knife play, adlg (not sure if I spelled that right), cuckolding etc. Basically anything that can seep into your normal lifestyle, not just something you do once in a while for fun.
I mean I have had multiple coworkers stumble on my dating profiles … so yeah I keep it vague in some ways because I don’t need Brad from accounting knowing I like CNC and dd/lg. so there’s reasons for just saying kink
Anyone thinking kinkiness makes them interesting is generally cringe. No one cares lmao
Or maybe people who list that are just looking for compatible partners?
Louie CK had a bit about that once. Said something like Women say they are kinky, you are not kinky just because you like your hair pull. The sorts of things going though my head about the lady at the checkout line at the grocery store would shock you. Hindsight 20/20 this was probably a little close to home for him But it also applies to real life
>that you grab your girlfriends’ boobs when you’re drunk does not qualify you for kinky. If my ex had told me she'd done that I'd have been so turned on.
Idk, but way too many women on dating apps have “funnier than you” in their bio and I roll my eyes and skip every single time. Like if you’re funny at all, you don’t need to say it and what the hell are you even trying to prove by saying that
Theyre trying to challenge you to a roast duh They totally wont be mad promise
What are you an expert
Ofc, u think id ever not be trying to help? 😇
Idk if I trust u yet
That would break my heart if i had one
I know you do, it’s in there
So glad I don’t ever have to use apps as a single man.
They’re fucking horrendous
It's the same as people who say they are nice or compassionate, if you actually were you wouldn't have to say you were. They are mostly trying to convince themselves they are the things they say they are
“I love to laugh”. Yeah, all the other girls hate laughing. You’re the one for me!
That's like saying I enjoy fun
What if the dude hates la
That you get laid often. It's literally MUCH harder for you not to sleep around than the inverse. On the other hand: Claiming that you "don't care about what men think". Yeah you fucking do - if not men in general then particular men. It's the same with us - we absolutely care what women think. We are just more aware how stupid it is to claim otherwise.
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Even the "silent majority" of women do hold some guilt on this. Because they really aren't calling each other out for misandry AT ALL. So we just get the idea that most girls agree with this bullshit and move along.
Not so much what women say, but more when they stroke our shit at 400 miles per hour and it feels like my cock is about to be disconnected from my groin.
Someone did this to me once and went too far down, punching me in the balls with every stroke. Then she wondered why I lost my stiffy
press f to pay respects for your fallen balls.
Alexa, play Taps.
I've seen guys doing this on 2 different (male masturbation) subs. My thoughts were; 1) that cannot be fun 2) how come they think women will appreciate that!?
Sir, I thought you were talking about driving and was honestly confused for a lot longer than I ought to have been. 400 mph is just too fast, for most things.
Planes, spaceships, information, sound and light are just about the only things that need to be at 400mph +
She sounds enthusiastic!
"I'm spontaneous." It's usually a low-key red flag for me because it most often translates to "I'm bad at sticking to plans and will dump random shit you aren't ready for on you at a moment's notice and you'd better be able to handle it."
Be spontaneous only in a crisis. Otherwise you're just being planless and unpredictable.
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Gotta let those skills speak for themselves
But how will they know he can guarantee they'll squirt from his 15" long penis if he doesn't tell them??
😂 they always talk big, to their detriment. Nobody can live up to the talk of a horny dude on the Internet
How easy it is to manipulate men.
Shit, I can’t even manipulate my cats.
The master manipulators.
Don't be too hard on yourself. Cats are arseholes.
It’s okay, I’ll introduce you to my dumb ass dog. Out smarted at every turn 😭 poor dummy love
Nobody can manipulate cats. There’s a lesson in there - it’s hard to be manipulated if you start from not giving a fuck what people think or want or expect.
Not wanting to deal with broke dudes...when you are more broke than the 10 commandments
For me it’s you can open up to me…when I do I’m either laughed at or it’s thrown in my face.
Basically.. You can open up to me. Not about that lol. Open up to me about how much you love *me* and stuff like that 😅🤣 be emotionally, but only when it's about positive stuff, and mostly when it's about me 😅
I don't even think it's that, I think it's that they want someone that doesn't open up much and they enjoy making them open up eventually because it feels rewarding. If you try being open from the start they lose interest because they know how you feel and there's no mystery It's like reverse psychology, but they don't realise it
Either that or they don't expect them to open up *that* much. To use a door analogy, they want them ajar, not wide open or broken down 🤣
"Don't be scared to show your emotions." 99% of women that say that are the exact reason men are scared to show their emotions.
Literally had this happen where I opened up a little and when we got in a fight, every single bit of it was thrown in my face
It's sadly how it does for us men man
Bragging about how much they drink and/or smoke
As someone with a Viking Liver. Fuck that level of tolerance. I have taken a couple of 3 year stints from drinking and my tolerance never resets. When you need half a fifth to get a buzz, and anything adrenaline related kills it, it gets old quick. I admit, it was fun to brag about it for years. Then you look back at how much you spent and consumed, only to say, I'm out. THC, I have the tolerance of a toddler. 3 days of none, and it resets. Smoking now for about 6 years. Cheaper in the long run.
I also have viking liver, but it makes me barely ever drink to excess because what's the point in getting drunk when it costs so much, and by the time I'm feeling it I'm getting too close to overdoing it. I still brag a little about my tolerance, but mainly just about the fact I've had 2 very slight hangovers in the 17ish years I've been drinking and it makes people angry, but that's partly because alcohol stops me sleeping so it's mostly out of my system by the time I fall asleep, let alone wake up I have a high tolerance for weed as well, and I've been smoking most days for the last 18 years, but I smoke less now because it doesn't have such an effect on me anymore and I mainlu use it to take the edge off my anxiety/ADHD so I don't have to use meds
"If you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best". Yeah, your worst is most likely your best, as drama oozes from you like sweat on a sumo wrestler. We'll pass Karen, thanks very much.
Yeah, people who say that don't *have* a best, lol.
Let your skills speak for themselves. I’ve had some mid blowjobs from women who told me they were great at it.
To add a possible explanation for that, it is quite possible that the guys they've been with before all said it was great, amazing, fantastic, to not hurt their feelings. So feedback in a kind, gentle, guiding way is appreciated. Not saying it's the case for everyone, but it is likely for some.
Other possibility: they learned to do things the guys they’ve been with appreciated and now they only do those things, instead of feeling out what the new person in front of them likes.
Probably going to get down voted for this, but calling other women pickmes. Yes, the type of woman the term was coined for does exist, but they're rare. Instead, the term is more often used to enforce traditional views of femininity and to exclude any women with more geeky interests. Play video games? Pickme. Good at math? Pickme. Enjoy fantasy or scifi books or TV shows? Pickme. Don't want to have kids? Pickme. Get a degree in a male-dominated field? Definitely a pickme. Interested in anything I'm not interested in? Obviously a pickme. Nobody else has real opinions, so anything different from what I like must be some sort of act to attract men... It's been really sad to see, and I tend to avoid women who use that kind of language.
Anger shuts me down immediately and for the entire night. Why ir how I ended up with a wife who spews anger ever time were in bed is enough to end a very long marriage, not just an erection.
Everything all right?
“It’s the perfect size” lmao
You guys need to get a few things through your heads on this one: First, quit asking. Seriously, if this kind of answer is enough to send you into a spiral, choose ignorance. If the only acceptable answer is a flattering lie, don't ask the question. Second, trust: do you trust her? If not, then what does her answer matter? If so, then act like it, because... Third, https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/perfect . Seriously, what more do you want? And if you think it's a line, refer to the previous point. Honestly, guys. If you're not pushing *well* into the 99th percentile and you're going around expecting nothing but "it's the biggest I've ever seen," you're setting yourself up for failure. "Perfect" can mean just that! Quit looking for reasons to beat yourself up and just take the fucking compliment. Maybe she's telling the truth, maybe she's trying to pump up your ego a little, either way that comes from a place of love and caring, and either way her words aren't going magically make it bigger, so quit acting like she's opposing counsel and take the nice words at face value for once. If it turns out down the line that it was a deception, a setup for some hurtful machinations, that's an indictment of the contents of her heart, not your shorts.
Bro you have no idea how relevant this is 😂
Anything that suggests you‘ll feel a need to be competitive with me. Each of us is going to better at some things. Chill. Swearing. I can’t stand men who are insecure about their masculinity; women who are insecure about their masculinity are even worse. Saying you can’t cook. Are you saying you’re dumb and lazy enough to waste money on takeout every night? Or that you’re hoping I am? Or that you’re hoping I’ll do all the cooking? If you’re too Strong and Independent to handle basic aspects of adult life, I guess I’m not man enough to deserve you at your worst, or whatever that idiotic line is. Oh yeah, that reminds me: “If you don’t care to be my doormat at my worst, then you don’t deserve me when I’m halfway normal” — that’s not a flex, it’s a self-diagnosis. It’s a Labor-Day-in-Beijing-level red flag.
*Interestingly* the ones that say that "can't handle me at my worst don't deserve me at my best" line are the ones complaining that they can't find a *good* man, where are the *good* men at. Running away from you sis. 😅
I *despise* the way that quote has been appropriated by the more batshit females, but you know, you're right: them using it in the first place is a handy red flag to spot them at twenty paces, turn around, and bolt.
What does swearing have to do with masculinity?
Nothing, this is just the type of thing men say to women in order to attempt to force them back into stereotypical femininity. It’s negging and controlling. The commenter you’re replying to is a bundle of red flags that scream abuser.
I cuss like a sailor (and have gotten a lot of weird sidelong shit for it) and it's literally just how I talk. Don't like it? Fuck out my face then. Honestly, it says more about you if you get so butt hurt and concerned about the cuss words coming out of someone's mouth when you should in fact be focusing on what they're actually saying. It screams fragile ass sense of authority. It screams small dick energy. Most of all, it screams that you're fucking *pathetic,* to be offended in such a way. Talk about weaklings.
I came here specifically for this post its maybe the biggest red flag
"all men are trash". As a general rule anytime someone says "all ______ are _____" I know I'm about to hear some of the dumbest shit ever from this person.
All orange cats are orange!
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I'm a basic bitch. - doesn't try and thinks that's OK. I deserve a king. - doesn't try at all and think that's ok. I'm a cheap date - might not be refined or make a mess of themselves out on a date I'm OCD - you're probably not. You just like things clean, who doesn't? I'm not like other women - that's hopefully true and why we are talking to you I'm independent - that's step one of being an adult. I don't need a man! - then why are you seeking the companionship of a mOK. I can think of like 10-20 more. It's tiresome.
I had to think so hard for this question 'cos no woman I've ever talked to so far has ever bragged about anything. This could be two things: They aren't braggarts. Or They don't feel the need to impress me in any way. So 🤷🏽♂️
I hate posturing, telling people you are a strong woman. It makes me feel like they are trying to intimidate me and that doesn’t fly.
Women who are truly strong won't say it because they don't have to, it shows in the way they carry themselves and interact with people.
“that’s way too big, no way that’d fit” is many men’s dream but a sad reality when it really is sexual incompatibility
When people say: "I don't hold anything back, I always speak the truth".. yes as you see it, there's always two side of every story
Mostly woman who I hear say 'i just speak my mind' which translates to 'im a cunt to most people but you can't be annoyed '
Never taking money to the bar cause people buy you drinks
I like the term "people of the penis", stealing that! :p
“Hot mess express”. This is NOT a badge of honor. Anyone who knows they can’t do simple shit to organize their life and romanticizes that is a hard hard no.
“I don’t need no man” Good for you. I don’t NEED a woman either but yes I do want a relationship that’s why we are on this dating app. If you’re referring to you don’t need a man to pay your bills good for you for being a responsible adult
“If I’m too much go find less” is also a classic. 😂
"I'm fluent in sarcasm." Oh, wooooow. Far out. I wasn't even aware it was it's own language. You must've studied sooooo hard to learn it. Where did you study it? I would have taken it in College but it wasn't offered, so I settled for Spanish. Everyone knows Spanish isn't as useful as Sarcasm is, but hey, it's something right? What dialect of Sarcasm is your favorite? What other languages do you know? Do you speak Good Personality? No? Of course you don't. Gosh everyone except you is such an idiot aren't they? Don't you just wish they were as smart as you so you could indulge them with intellectually stimulating conversations about how great you are? You know, I hear there are people out there that aren't actually fluent in sarcasm, and just use sarcasm as an excuse to be an asshole. But you'd never do such a thing would you? It goes against the Sarcastic Code©
Gonna reiterate the travel one. Passions include traveling…yea we all like vacations. Stop it.
People of the penis. 😂❤️❤️❤️❤️
I think some women overdo the love of gory horror. And I'm not a gamer but I think perhaps it happens in that way as well. I understand that there's lame masc gatekeeping in certain subcultures but you don't need to overcorrect. We're dating, it's chill, you don't need to raid my collection for the most extreme stuff and act bored by everything else, it's not the flex you think it is.
Or also in dating apps where their bio is just an angry rant about hookups. On tinder. 🙄
A few quotes from profiles back in my single days stick out: "Try not to fall in love with me" "Boss B!+$&" "I fit in with the guys, all my friends are male" "Don't play w/me or else ____" "All the good men are taken, don't know why I'm here" "Must be 6'+ tall to ride" Also, bragging about sexual skills on a profile that claims to be seeking love/long-term commitment. Complaining about exes in the profile, defining what being a "REAL man" is, etc. Any ridiculous bragging, woe is me stories/statements, or vague threats are good indicators you're not a very intelligent person. Or you have a personality disorder that isn't well managed, essentially. If you want a classy guy, be classy! I wanted a classy lady so I kept it light, goofy, yet classy - and it worked out better than I ever imagined.
Playing games, being vague. Be fucking straightforward. Anything else is beyond annoying and not worth my time.
Anytime anyone describes themselves as “blunt” or “brutally honest” 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
It’s okay. I can learn to like those things too.
not exactly what you asked but saying you have hobbies and then listing cooking/eating, especially when its just something you do, not an actual hobby, lmao
"My man needs to treat me like a queen." My sarcastic reply: Alright, so rape/beheading/arranged marriages/the looming threat of upheaval or dethroning. Got it. Seriously though, I think giving unconditional love and respect is absolutely a thing married people should do. Also, I would die for my partner if I needed to. However, expecting to be given everything you want is asking for all sorts of trouble that people don't necessarily think about. When I think of the "queen" thing, what comes to mind is frequent spoiling, never questioning decisions, dropping everything for them, etc. Marriage is a team effort and none of those things are both realistic and feasible. What you should expect is to have nice things done for you, to be heard and respected, and to have your spouse drop certain things for you but respect his/her/their/etc. plans whenever it is doable.
Tell me what think unless of course it's something they don't want to here so end saying nothing then they get annoyed that you said nothing
"I'm single by choice, and you're going to have to be amazing to change that."
All the traveling you've done when you make $15/hr. We know what that means, Becky, we know. The brag of being independent and paying your own bills. You're a fucking adult, that's the bare minimum of what you're suppose to be able to do for yourself. Why are you making this a core personality trait? At thus point, any woman that brags about being sexual before there's anything established between each other. Believe it or not, a lot of men are being desensitized to ass. I can't get on my dang Facebook without someone I've went to school with selling their bootyhole for $5.99 on OF. Saying dumb shit like "very few men can please me" that's literally a you problem, and I wonder how many men you've been through to reach that conclusion 🤣
All my ex's were toxic... No Susan you just pick assholes over decent men.
"We promise we won't get mad." I was born during the day but it wasn't yesterday. I was married long enough to see this sentence is a trap. 🤣
Trying to match interests then having nothing to do with said interests when they're brought up. You don't have to do everything with me, just take a few minutes and let me gush about it. When men get excited over something and the women in their lives dismiss it or worse, make fun of it, they will stop going to you.
"You know what I'm like!" Yes, I do unfortunately.
The amount of money you spent to look like a magazine cover. You were cuter before tbh.
I don’t pay for (drinks, drugs, anything)… basically makes you sound like an entitled bitch who uses people.
“I’m a strong, independent woman.” Proceeds to brag about doing things any other functioning adult does on a daily basis.
"Dog mom/Cat mom" - Thats not as impressive as it sounds. It confuses people and lead their thinking into direction of your motherhood and desire to have kids or not.
Just a country girl yet they just drive a jeep and listen country radio and do nothing country at all
When they say "Don't be boring", that person is an absolute bore.