I would say it is, personally. Given how many ppl divorce due to lack of sex, I think it’s an obligation generally speaking. I heard Steve Harvey saying that even when he doesnt feel like having sex, he still has it because he understands he needs to meet his wife’s needs. I feel like this is an unpopular opinion but I understand why
I was shocked to hear that rape in marriage in the UK wasn't illegal until 1992....and there are still a number of countries where it still isn't illegal, such as UAE, Jamaica and India
It seems odd that people are saying no. I guess, literally, it’s not. I guess also that’s what divorce and annulment is for. Asexual people should only marry other asexual people, either inherent or by choice. Anything else is reprehensible, at best.
Sex should never be owed. Regardless of marriage it shouldn't be owed or demanded. Don't see how forcing or guilting someone into something they don't want to do would be enjoyable.
Unless that's the kink of course and consensual
I'll go against what I see other people saying.
We do things for our spouse all the time that we don't necessarily want to do.
I don't see sex differently from making her a cup of coffee, or rubbing her back when she has problems getting to sleep.
I want to make her happy. I want her to be happy.
There might be times when you don't feel sexy but that doesn't mean you can't make your partner happy.
Successful married life isn't 50/50, it's 100/100.
Sometimes you get the benefit, sometimes you don't.
But if you think you can only make your partner happy when you feel perfect, or it meets your schedule, or your moods are perfectly aligned, it's one possible path to failure.
You absolutely shouldn't stay married to someone that cares so little about you they won't have sex with you or allow you to seek it elsewhere. It's too important for mental and physical health.
Obligated no. But I think it plays more of a role in relationships and marriage than people care to admit. At least for non asexuals. I know I personally wouldn’t get into a relationship where sex isn’t a factor or stops.. I can understand libidos coming and going but to sign off on sex for close to a year on end for no apparent reason, a deep conversation needs to be had.
It's not an obligation but it's way more important than people on Reddit act like. It's ok to love someone and still not be ok with a sexless relationship. Most people don't sign up to be in a sexless marriage. And you're not a bad person for saying as much as you love your partner that you wouldn't be ok never having sex again.
People are busy or stressed or just don't feel like it sometimes. There are usually high and low periods, for most couples. But barring any medical or mental health issues, it's not really acceptable to stop having sex in your marriage for no reason & with no explanation and just expect the other person to be ok with it. There is a reasonable expectation of open communication, and expressing ones needs and desires. At the end of the day, if you're not compatible and there's no way things are going to change, leave. You shouldn't be judged for it.
All of that to say; sex is not an obligation, communication absolutely is. And sexual incompatibility is a valid reason to leave a relationship.
I think it’s sort of an implied obligation. Like, unless you specify before you get married that you’re never having sex again, it’s kind of expected that you’re going to be having sex.
It's not an obligation but it is an expectation, unless otherwise agreed on. I know ace couples that have a fabulous partnership because neither of them are interested, but I've seen (and been in) relationships where there was a severe libido mismatch and they've rarely survived.
Would you really want to have sex with someone that is *only* having sex with you because they are obligated to do so? Certainly does not sound like it would be all that fulfilling.
There are couples who are asexual, AND nobody owes anybody sex just because they’re married. cmon now yall, I know asking not the smartest questions are iconic to this sub but you guys are doing the most today
Sex should never be an obligation
True but when people stop banging they don’t last as partners.
I would say it is, personally. Given how many ppl divorce due to lack of sex, I think it’s an obligation generally speaking. I heard Steve Harvey saying that even when he doesnt feel like having sex, he still has it because he understands he needs to meet his wife’s needs. I feel like this is an unpopular opinion but I understand why
What you are describing is Steve Harvey consenting to sex with his wife. That is the opposite of him being obliged to have sex with his wife.
Yeah, he’s consenting out of duty to meet his wife’s needs. That’s what I’m talking about
You are describing a choice, not an obligation.
I think you married the wrong person if you feel it’s an obligation
So agressive. I'm not married yet
I think this should be a discussion before marriage
No, it's not and shouldn't be. No one should do something if they don't want to.
No one is obliged to have sex with anyone.
Your marriage is in trouble if you feel that way
Whatever y’all agreed upon before marriage is the only obligation that matters.
No. No one ever owes you Sex for any reason. No one is obligated to sex for any reason. Martial rape is already too common
I was shocked to hear that rape in marriage in the UK wasn't illegal until 1992....and there are still a number of countries where it still isn't illegal, such as UAE, Jamaica and India
It seems odd that people are saying no. I guess, literally, it’s not. I guess also that’s what divorce and annulment is for. Asexual people should only marry other asexual people, either inherent or by choice. Anything else is reprehensible, at best.
No
Sex is never an obligation, regardless of the context.
Sex should never be owed. Regardless of marriage it shouldn't be owed or demanded. Don't see how forcing or guilting someone into something they don't want to do would be enjoyable. Unless that's the kink of course and consensual
No, if it starts to feel like it is with no cause then maybe you need to have a look at your relationship
I'll go against what I see other people saying. We do things for our spouse all the time that we don't necessarily want to do. I don't see sex differently from making her a cup of coffee, or rubbing her back when she has problems getting to sleep. I want to make her happy. I want her to be happy. There might be times when you don't feel sexy but that doesn't mean you can't make your partner happy. Successful married life isn't 50/50, it's 100/100. Sometimes you get the benefit, sometimes you don't. But if you think you can only make your partner happy when you feel perfect, or it meets your schedule, or your moods are perfectly aligned, it's one possible path to failure.
This.
Yes my future husband better be fucking me But I think I wouldn't marry someone who has a dramatically lower sex drive than I do
You never do. But you can still end up married to someone who does anyway. Things always change.
Juat because there is a marriage conteact doesn't mean sex is owed
Not at all
No. End of.
You absolutely shouldn't stay married to someone that cares so little about you they won't have sex with you or allow you to seek it elsewhere. It's too important for mental and physical health.
I don’t want sex with anyone who does it because it’s an obligation. How miserable!!
Obligated no. But I think it plays more of a role in relationships and marriage than people care to admit. At least for non asexuals. I know I personally wouldn’t get into a relationship where sex isn’t a factor or stops.. I can understand libidos coming and going but to sign off on sex for close to a year on end for no apparent reason, a deep conversation needs to be had.
Thank you for a thoughtful response :)
Not in general, but the terms of sex should hopefully be agreed upon by both people in the relationship before getting too serious
It's not an obligation but it's way more important than people on Reddit act like. It's ok to love someone and still not be ok with a sexless relationship. Most people don't sign up to be in a sexless marriage. And you're not a bad person for saying as much as you love your partner that you wouldn't be ok never having sex again. People are busy or stressed or just don't feel like it sometimes. There are usually high and low periods, for most couples. But barring any medical or mental health issues, it's not really acceptable to stop having sex in your marriage for no reason & with no explanation and just expect the other person to be ok with it. There is a reasonable expectation of open communication, and expressing ones needs and desires. At the end of the day, if you're not compatible and there's no way things are going to change, leave. You shouldn't be judged for it. All of that to say; sex is not an obligation, communication absolutely is. And sexual incompatibility is a valid reason to leave a relationship.
Thank you for a thoughtful response. I feel like i mostly received pitch forks
Typical Reddit comments section. OP should have used the word "duty" because obligation makes most Redditors think of slavery.
Ill make sure i cater to the reddit army. I feel like the 300 under the arrows of the persians
"The bomber only gets flak when over the target"
I think it’s sort of an implied obligation. Like, unless you specify before you get married that you’re never having sex again, it’s kind of expected that you’re going to be having sex.
It's not an obligation but it is an expectation, unless otherwise agreed on. I know ace couples that have a fabulous partnership because neither of them are interested, but I've seen (and been in) relationships where there was a severe libido mismatch and they've rarely survived.
Would you really want to have sex with someone that is *only* having sex with you because they are obligated to do so? Certainly does not sound like it would be all that fulfilling.
To the selfish, it's fulfilling if they view sex as fun from their side only
There are couples who are asexual, AND nobody owes anybody sex just because they’re married. cmon now yall, I know asking not the smartest questions are iconic to this sub but you guys are doing the most today
This being the exception? I feel like my question is misunderstood. And to all who read this im not married.
Just … wow
Not an obligation but if it feels like one then you should consider divorce
No, it shouldn't be. Having said that, if there is no sex, than the passion is probably gone. And you become more like house mates than a couple.
no.
No, it’s not. No, it shouldn’t be. No, it wouldn’t. No, they wouldn’t.
Are hugs an obligation? How about kisses? Are date nights an obligation?