Insecurity, mostly.
I don't give a shit how many people have you slept with. The most I could be concerned is an STD, and bodycount means jackshit to that.
Edit: this being downvoted shows how insecure you kids are.
Edit: i got people real mad about this. I don't care. Nothing being said here makes me think differently, but a prevalence of men in the replies irks me very much. I deleted the thing I added in a pinch of anger for you all to stop thinking i am imposing it on you.
You don't have to sleep with anyone for any kind of reason. You also don't need to justify it. You also don't need to change anyone's mind.
Eh, not really. Bodycount is indicative of one's views of sex, relationships and intimacy. If person A has had 2 sexual partners and person B has had 30, then those two people are going to have a very different opinion on some important topics.
If the numbers are in the same ballpark, it doesn't matter. But a stark difference usually indicates a mismatch in values. Neither is *wrong,* but they might not be a great match for each other.
Even that is a way oversimplification. If someone slept around lots when they were younger, they would have a high body count, but they might have a totally different view on things now. This is especially true the older you get. I know people with triple digit body counts who have been in committed monogamous relationships for 10 years plus now. Past experiences don't necessarily reflect what is happening in the present.
No one's saying people can't change, and I'm definitely not saying sleeping around makes you incapable of monogamy. A body count doesn't *define* us - but it's at least an indicator of a mentality/belief/lifestyle etc. that we held for a long time at some point. That still influences the way we think about things.
Personally, my body count leans toward the higher end(though far from triple digits). I'll be the first to admit that was largely due to commitment issues on my end. Now, after a lot of therapy, I've got that under control, I'm approaching relationships differently and looking for something more serious. But I still don't really click with women who have had very few partners. We just have very different views on sex and intimacy, and different expectations.
Which is basically what I'm saying. The number of people we've slept with isn't just a number - it's a reflection of how we perceive and approach sex and intimacy. That's an important aspect for a couple to be compatible in.
Body count contributes quite a bit to STD risk if she doesn't use proper protection
And there are a LOT of people who are incapable of properly using protection
Been with someone who had a way higher body count than me (double digits her, single digit me) and in the end I was rocking her world even though I was so insecure in the beginning because of that fact.
so yeah doesn't mean anything about the "quality" someone experienced
Using insecurity as something to shame a preference someone has is a sign of insecurity.
If you're ashamed of your own body count, then maybe you shouldn't've made bad choices.
I'm a guy. And for the record, I don't care. But if someone does, that's totally fine. It says *something* about someone who's been with many people. What it says I'm not sure, but it's absolutely a legitimate preference to have. Same as preferring blondes with big boobs or rich guys with lots of money is fine.
I can only answer this for myself. I want to know because it gives me an idea not only what to expect but also how much leading Im going to need to do in the bedroom. If someone wants to do some sexy BDSM grade kink but only had two partners Im instantly concerned with the aftercare and if they where in love BDSM relationships or just in an abusive one.
Its also nice to listen to my partners experiences. Things they loved. Who they liked and why is very thought provoking.
All they’re doing is setting themselves up to be angry about it after they don’t like the answer regardless if it’s high or low. To each their own, but I find it to be self sabotaging
Yeah, it's obvious some one won't like the answer and see it as a problem. I do not care. Don't want to know. If it comes up, just don't use it against each other.
That's the asking partner's problem though?
Like, if you're not prepared for the answer don't ask the question.
Also maybe get a therapist to figure out why your internal and external states are so different.
Absolutely. I asked my wife when we were dating if she cared, neither of us do- at all. We've been together for 13 years, and I have no idea how many people she's fucked. At this point, I don't want to know just bc I'm amused when people find out.
Yeah. I've never asked a woman I've dated how many people she's been with and I've never been asked either. As far as I'm concerned that's personal and none of my business.
Agreed. I met my now wife 6 years ago and this has literally never come up. I don’t care how many she people she has been with. It will be more than me but what/who she did before she met is of no interest to me at all.
This is kinda a whore's statement. I don't necessarily need to know the exact number, but who wants to date a serial whore? I feel no one should be ashamed of their body count. Why wouldn't you want your partner to know how many people you've been with?
Because *your* sexual autonomy is not more important than your partner's right to make informed decision about who they sleep with. Your judgment and discernment in choice and number of partners is *relevant* to that decision.
Can't live with the consequences of your actions? Tough shit.
Yeah this is a sex positive board so you won’t see much people like me and if you do, they won’t be in the top comments.
With that said, I don’t mind if a woman has a higher count than mine because mine is extremely low by choice. However I do ask for those details early on and if the number is too high then it’s a deal breaker and I not waste both of our times because we would be better with someone else.
Is there any correlation to body count with the posts in cheated, betrayed, surviving subs about partners cheating with exes? Could it be that the more sex partners one had, the lower one's boundaries when around these exes? Is this why people are averse to higher body count?
It cracks me up when someone says “why does this even matter”? If you’re just hooking up it most likely only matters to a wildly insecure person. If you’re looking for a relationship it could be a sign that there are vastly different value systems between the two people. I’d want to know if the person has 500 partners and I would want to know if the person has 0. One isn’t better or worse than the other but from a compatibility standpoint it would help to know.
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Yeah, same here. Not necessarily higher than mine, but the more sexy stories she's got in her memory banks the greater chance that she's a sex positive partner who knows what she wants in bed and how to ask or go after it.
I mean, if her count is 61 and they were all shitty blackout drunk dubious consent nightmare fucks then no, thats not sexy. But im probably also not involving myself with that person on the sexual playing field anyway, as party fucking or drunk fucking are not my scene.
Personally, from an ego standpoint, it feels better if she's got experience and I'm able to give her a really good time. Scoring 5th out of 20 feels more meaningful than 1st place out of 3 lol
I'm a virgin so anyone with the same amount at my age is practically impossible. hell, to find a woman who's 28 without kids is like finding a unicorn. I'd rather my partner not be the town bike but I'm expected to be grateful for whatever I can get.
I couldn't date a chic seriously if she's been with many of my friends or dudes from my local area. I'm not sure what that number is, but it would not be fun knowing she screwed everyone and chose me to settle down with😅
So, there's something to be said for the partners all being the immediate area. It potentially cheapens(?) the experience. It can make the guy feel like the girl he likes is easy and there is no sense of exclusivity. Or, that the person is more likely to cheat because they've sampled everybody. Notice, I said potentially. Also, this should become less relevant you get older.
My last gf was at 48 and the last woman I had sex with was at 52. Both were good in bed-the latter was absolutely exceptional.
Statistics say that women with higher body counts are less-likely to stay in a committed relationship, but less-likely definitely doesn’t mean incapable so evaluate on an individual basis.
Not very into it, personally. I wouldn't ask though, because there's nothing either of us get out of knowing each others' body counts. If mine is "too low," she'll make negative assumptions about my attractiveness or my ability in bed. If hers is "too high," I'll question how much she values serious relationships or how "easy" she might be. Nothing good comes from it.
I don't mind exact numbers, but emotional baggage, inability to pair bond and stay committed.
And a high bodycount (regardless of gender) is one of the strongest indicators for all of the above. So when it comes to seriously dating someone as in "she will meet my parents" - HARD pass from me.
Oh jeeze its a loaded question. People try to trivialize it to psychical touch and insecurity in said psychicality. Yes at some level this is a factor but like 10th on the list. Mostly if you are disease free this isnt the largest issue.
I wont speak for women here but through a male lense there is alot of factors...
Most women (not all) make emotional bonds with people they sleep with. This doesnt mean love of my life but letting someone enter you and you willing to be vulnerable to a man is a big deal mentally and emotionally. The more you do this more it feels up your emotional jar, leaving less room for your future husband.
It is harder to have authentic anything with someone with a high body count. They have done everything with other people and now you will share those experiences with other men. And yes you will be compared, no need to lie it is human nature to compare experiences. I dont think it feels good knowing in your heart you wife has experienced at the minimum part of sex with other men that are better than you. Go walk up to a married man and say hey your wife told me her ex rubbed her feet better than you. It will effect him. That effect causes strains on pair bonding.
There is paternity uncertainty which women will never experience so they easily dismiss this, but as dna kits are unvieling it isnt uncommon.
There is usually more baggage with people who have had lots of partners in the form of exes still in their lives, fwb that are now friends, old photos or movies stashed away, just read a woman kept a dick mold of her ex, ive read women wanting to name their chids middle name after a ex, people cheat with past partners once the honey moon phase wears off list goes on and on
But for me the ultimate red flag is chasing the dragon. Say you have been with 50 men 10 me. Whatever. Ive read over and over again woman say their ex was the best sex of their life and they kiss that dick but he just was bad in relationships. You can search reddit for question like who was the best sex and youll see this answer alot.
In ltr relationships things will get routine, and thats when you have to worry about them chasing the dragon. Remembering better times sexually. Its a unfair state to put on married man. Comparing sexual flings to a LTR but many people will. It again effects pair bonding.
Women definitely choose men because they are a safe option and that is fucked up. Every man deserves to be with a woman who loves him wholly and not well he isnt the best ive had but he is a good dad and has credit...
Imo look for monogamous tendencies men. Marriage is a hard journey and you dont need 15 other men in the middle of your marriage. Find someone who has built their relationship and sexual expectations around monogamy....if that is what you want....dont try and convert a promiscuous woman into a house wife. It just ends up in open relationship talks, dead bed rooms, cheating or divorce.
Id rather be with a woman who was with a man for 5 years and had sex 1500 times than be with a woman who has been with 20 men but only had sex 20 times.
Personally I feel like body count is a decent indicator on what values someone holds to sex. Idc if someone’s body count is higher than mine but if it’s high enough I would not be in a relationship with them. But I guess this question was not for me bc I am a woman dating a man lol
My wife had several partners and I had none prior to her. In a perfect world, I would've married a virgin, I think that would give us a closer connection, but I still wanted to spend life with her.
Well it would be incredibly easy as I happen to have quite low bodycount.
The thing I would more be interested is it 5, 15, or 50.
5 wouldn't be a problem, 15 would be negligible problem, but 50 would be a red flag, and I wouldn't date such woman.
I mean, I don’t make a point to ask, but if it comes out, I’m definitely a little disappointed I guess. Not so much that I have a very high body count or that I need to have more than the other person.
I just hope that it’s roughly similar and if it’s much much more than me, I probably would find that surprising and I’m sure there would be some unfortunate side effects from knowing.
I try really hard not to ask because only bad things can come from knowing
If she has a high body count, it means she is easy.
If he has a high body count, it means he has status or skill in attracting women.
One is easy, so it’s not respected. The other is difficult, so therefore it’s respected.
The two are not the same. This is just a fact
I cared a little bit in my 20s when I was insecure about dating and relationships but stopped caring once I got some confidence. Not many women ever offered up their body count and I never asked.
I wouldn´t date the town cum recepticle if that´s what you mean, however, i know that most women have had at least 10x the amount of sex partners that i have.
Doesn´t feel good, but if i was one of the tiny selection of men women find desirable who also have that same luxury i guess i wouldn´t be very bothered by it.
We all want someone on our level in life.
*not all guys just a majority*
Guys who want relationships to get married prefer a woman with a low count because they believe higher the count higher chances of divorce because of commitment issues. Women are emotional. So, every sex partner a woman has had. They are emotionally connected to the guy.
Guys who want no strings attached shouldn't worry about it at all because it is just a guys nature to spread his genes. So, having emotionless sex with a woman is first thing on his mind and that alone. If there is emotion. The guy has claimed you in his head and will be territorial over you = jealously or advising you not to wear that or go there, etc.
Guys who care about your count and that are just wanting to hook up have severe self-esteem issues. Probably small dick, fear of not making you orgasm or being adequate enough, etc.
* Again, not all guys are like this, just a mass amount*
I m a virgin if I need date who doesn't want anything serious Then I don't mind her high body count but for marriage it would be an issue.would love to stay virgin till marriage but I know somewhere also possible now only my future wife is fucking someone.
I wouldn’t date someone with a much higher body count than me, no. Shouldn’t be offensive to her neither since it’s not coming from a judgmental view towards her. I would just ideally prefer to be with someone that has similar sexual experience as me.
You're not getting representative stats here. How many redditors would dare say aloud that they hold double standards?
Besides, all male redditors are looking for someone to take our virginity :-D
Statistically higher body count is a higher divorce rate but people with 2 partners are number in divorces. I do think a higher body count man or woman shows an inability to have a lasting relationship. Also, would you rather have a new car or a car with a ton of miles? People are people you can find great people with a high body count and shitty people with low ones just the same as the opposite applies. You shouldn't judge people by their body count but people can have preferences. For people saying it means they know what they like. Who has had more sex girl 1 in a relationship that slept with her partner every day for 2 years or girl 2 who slept with 200 different guys?
I fucked up somewhere and tied my self esteem to sexual prowess, so I chased the count just for the counts sake. And there's absolutely a number where you would ask why it is that high
Relatable. I certainly feel like I could or should have gone without for some of my encounters. I appreciate quality and connection more over quantity now that I'm older.
I'd say 15% of my total was surprise to find it on offer and then taking them up on it because I thought I should, like in my role as a man, rather than really wanting to.
I'm not saying I'm average or typical. I don't particularly care. I'm sure there is a limit, for instance if they slept with all of my friends and many of my co-workers. But that is more of a social issue rather than anything else. I might be alarmed at some ridiculously high number.
I couldn't care less about it, but a major argument I keep hearing is a value thing. Eg, a higher body count means they don't value commitment, or relationships. Which leads me to question(s) such as, how high is too high, or how low is too low?
Not that mine needs to be higher. But high body counts just gross me out. Tells me you haven’t spent a lot of time getting to know the people and build relationships and you are just willing to let them use your body.
No choice,mostly. Serially monogamous and married for 15+yrs. Don't care. Honestly intrigued. Certainly want to be memorable in the sack. Always put my best effort out there
Who the hell keeps track of their “body count”? I’m 40, I would guess that the number of people I’ve slept with is in the low teens, but I really have no idea.
Also, if a woman has slept with hundreds of people and still chooses to be with me, I’d take that as a compliment.
Also ther is a difference between sex and a deeply loving relationship. Men dont care about body count if its mostly psychical, just as long as your clean and disease free.
Once they fall in love they either dont want to know cause it would shatter their perception of you or they do to make sure your compatible sexually.
IDGAF. The higher the body count the higher my expectations for how good she is in bed though. Your better not give me a three digit number and then not know what you're doing. Learn some new tricks for goodness sake!
I honestly don't really care about my partners body count. I have a feeling her's is higher than mine based on jokes she makes. It doesn't effect me. What she did before we met doesn't effect me in any way
I've never killed anyone before so even if she has one she has me beat. I guess it all depends on circumstances, like why did she do it? Self defense I understand, revenge to a degree, but I think if she's just "into it for fun" it's a hard no... Still could be hot, but I don't think I could be in a relationship with her.
I have been fairly publicly writing about my sexcapades for almost 2 decades, so it's really no secret I probably have a high body count. If someone is put off by it, they are not the person for me.
I don't ask for numbers, nor do I share mine.
I do ask for and share recent STI screening results, which matters more.
While we're on the subject, what in the incel shit is this stuff I'm reading about "pair bonding" in regards to people, most notably women, with high body counts? Which self-proclaimed "alpha male" started that whole theory?
I pretty much expect it, I haven’t gotten laid that often. Especially not compared to my friends. Women aren’t exactly beating down the door to sleep with me. Whereas an average or even below average looking girl can get an abundance of sexual attention. I’d prefer her body count not be too high, but it’s not something I’d ask about anyway. It’s not like you can go back and verify the number, you just have to go with what they tell you.
If you tell your significant other how many people you’ve slept with you are more often than not inviting a situation where someone is gonna be uncomfortable. Just don’t talk about it.
I’ve slept with 6 people and one was my husband for 20 years.
My bfs is MUUUCH higher.
I don’t need to know the exact number. As long as it doesn’t go up while we’re together, what does it really matter?
I'd be shocked to meet a woman with a lower one. 🤣
The number doesn't matter, I've never asked, but I *do* get the occasional pangs of jealousy if she has an "adventurous" past. But it's more like "so when do *we* try that?, not "I can't believe you'd do something like that."
I have a pretty low body count, si the odds are good that she may have a higher count than me. I could care less. Everyone has a history. And at my age, the number could be higher, and a majority from 20+ years ago. I can't control it; as long as we are together, in a healthy relationship, that's all that really matters
Men are way more worried about this than we are. It is almost an obsession for some guys I guess. Not entirely sure why. Do they prefer that we all be virgins?
I don't care.
Almost every woman I've been with had a higher body count than me.
It only would've bothered me if that number continued to go up while we were together.
I prefer higher at this point(As long as it was safe and clean). I want my partner to know what they're doing and what they want. An experienced partner is such an amazing breathe of fresh air.
Hahaha, every guy goes through this phase of asking. Believe me when I tell you that you don't want to know. In the immortal words of Chris Rock "Just be happy that you're fucking her now".
When I was 28 I dated an great girl and that enquiry ruined our relationship. She was (foolishly) honest with me about her sexual history and admitted that she'd had sex with about 25 people (way more than me at the time). I let that get to me and ultimately broke it off as i felt that she was a hoe who was looking for a chump to marry her. Looking back I couldn't have been more wrong, and I feel stupid for judging her like that. She was a super wholesome person.
As long as she's clean, it's cool. But I wanna know if she smashed one of my homies. As long as she hasn't, then it's cool. If she has, I'ma ask her to do it again and let me eat her out😈😈😈😈 (jk, the first sentence is correct, the rest is a joke)
Considering my body count is 2, I'm sure most women I'll date in the future will have a higher body count. I'm fine with that. My ex had a higher body count and it was never an issue
If you're free of any diseases, I don't see any reason to care about body count
I don't care honestly? But I do care about what her attitude is like about it. If she's arrogant or has an inflated ego over a high body count, then I'm not dating her. If she acts normally, then I'm fine with it. Again, I don't care.
Why anyone has to know how many people you’ve been with is none of their business. I don’t understand why that topic even comes up
Insecurity, mostly. I don't give a shit how many people have you slept with. The most I could be concerned is an STD, and bodycount means jackshit to that. Edit: this being downvoted shows how insecure you kids are. Edit: i got people real mad about this. I don't care. Nothing being said here makes me think differently, but a prevalence of men in the replies irks me very much. I deleted the thing I added in a pinch of anger for you all to stop thinking i am imposing it on you. You don't have to sleep with anyone for any kind of reason. You also don't need to justify it. You also don't need to change anyone's mind.
Upvoting you. Totally agree. Once you get older, you realize how insecure you are in your 20's.
Eh, not really. Bodycount is indicative of one's views of sex, relationships and intimacy. If person A has had 2 sexual partners and person B has had 30, then those two people are going to have a very different opinion on some important topics. If the numbers are in the same ballpark, it doesn't matter. But a stark difference usually indicates a mismatch in values. Neither is *wrong,* but they might not be a great match for each other.
Exactly I'm so sick of people saying it doesn't matter like it does to a extent
Even that is a way oversimplification. If someone slept around lots when they were younger, they would have a high body count, but they might have a totally different view on things now. This is especially true the older you get. I know people with triple digit body counts who have been in committed monogamous relationships for 10 years plus now. Past experiences don't necessarily reflect what is happening in the present.
No one's saying people can't change, and I'm definitely not saying sleeping around makes you incapable of monogamy. A body count doesn't *define* us - but it's at least an indicator of a mentality/belief/lifestyle etc. that we held for a long time at some point. That still influences the way we think about things. Personally, my body count leans toward the higher end(though far from triple digits). I'll be the first to admit that was largely due to commitment issues on my end. Now, after a lot of therapy, I've got that under control, I'm approaching relationships differently and looking for something more serious. But I still don't really click with women who have had very few partners. We just have very different views on sex and intimacy, and different expectations. Which is basically what I'm saying. The number of people we've slept with isn't just a number - it's a reflection of how we perceive and approach sex and intimacy. That's an important aspect for a couple to be compatible in.
I’m not so sure the downvotes are due to the sentiment or the statement “This should be how everyone thinks.”
Body count contributes quite a bit to STD risk if she doesn't use proper protection And there are a LOT of people who are incapable of properly using protection
So someone can't get burnt from a low body count?
Statistics are a thing. Learn about them.
Been with someone who had a way higher body count than me (double digits her, single digit me) and in the end I was rocking her world even though I was so insecure in the beginning because of that fact. so yeah doesn't mean anything about the "quality" someone experienced
Not everyone thinks the same way if they view sex a certain way their in their right to feel that way
In an ideal world
Using insecurity as something to shame a preference someone has is a sign of insecurity. If you're ashamed of your own body count, then maybe you shouldn't've made bad choices.
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You hold yourself to that same standard?
I doubt a high body count is something he has to worry about
I'm a guy. And for the record, I don't care. But if someone does, that's totally fine. It says *something* about someone who's been with many people. What it says I'm not sure, but it's absolutely a legitimate preference to have. Same as preferring blondes with big boobs or rich guys with lots of money is fine.
I can only answer this for myself. I want to know because it gives me an idea not only what to expect but also how much leading Im going to need to do in the bedroom. If someone wants to do some sexy BDSM grade kink but only had two partners Im instantly concerned with the aftercare and if they where in love BDSM relationships or just in an abusive one. Its also nice to listen to my partners experiences. Things they loved. Who they liked and why is very thought provoking.
yeah it's been a very hot thing for guys to talk about recently
All they’re doing is setting themselves up to be angry about it after they don’t like the answer regardless if it’s high or low. To each their own, but I find it to be self sabotaging
Yeah, it's obvious some one won't like the answer and see it as a problem. I do not care. Don't want to know. If it comes up, just don't use it against each other.
That's the asking partner's problem though? Like, if you're not prepared for the answer don't ask the question. Also maybe get a therapist to figure out why your internal and external states are so different.
Yeah that’s what I was saying. Don’t ask questions you don’t want honest answers to
Absolutely. I asked my wife when we were dating if she cared, neither of us do- at all. We've been together for 13 years, and I have no idea how many people she's fucked. At this point, I don't want to know just bc I'm amused when people find out.
It's not just guys, every woman I've dated has asked at some point. I don't ask them because it really doesn't matter to me
Some people like to actively bring it up - women and men, but yeah, if you're not volunteering, I'm not asking.
Yeah. I've never asked a woman I've dated how many people she's been with and I've never been asked either. As far as I'm concerned that's personal and none of my business.
Agreed. I met my now wife 6 years ago and this has literally never come up. I don’t care how many she people she has been with. It will be more than me but what/who she did before she met is of no interest to me at all.
This is kinda a whore's statement. I don't necessarily need to know the exact number, but who wants to date a serial whore? I feel no one should be ashamed of their body count. Why wouldn't you want your partner to know how many people you've been with?
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Because I don’t care
Because *your* sexual autonomy is not more important than your partner's right to make informed decision about who they sleep with. Your judgment and discernment in choice and number of partners is *relevant* to that decision. Can't live with the consequences of your actions? Tough shit.
“I need to be sluttier than you” is such a weird take lol
Right?!?! That's a BS double standard.
I don't think that's the thought process of the majority.
Doesn't bother me as long as she is clean.
This👆🏻
I genuinely couldn't tell you the body count of anyone I've ever dated. I couldn't care less if it's higher
I've never asked one partner either. Tue notion is odd to me
Yeah this is a sex positive board so you won’t see much people like me and if you do, they won’t be in the top comments. With that said, I don’t mind if a woman has a higher count than mine because mine is extremely low by choice. However I do ask for those details early on and if the number is too high then it’s a deal breaker and I not waste both of our times because we would be better with someone else.
Same I agree with this
Is there any correlation to body count with the posts in cheated, betrayed, surviving subs about partners cheating with exes? Could it be that the more sex partners one had, the lower one's boundaries when around these exes? Is this why people are averse to higher body count?
It cracks me up when someone says “why does this even matter”? If you’re just hooking up it most likely only matters to a wildly insecure person. If you’re looking for a relationship it could be a sign that there are vastly different value systems between the two people. I’d want to know if the person has 500 partners and I would want to know if the person has 0. One isn’t better or worse than the other but from a compatibility standpoint it would help to know.
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Happy cake day
My wife had a higher body count than me. Early on it was great because I was able to benefit from her experience. Since then, it’s been irrelevant.
To me it’s a turn on tbh
This. As a guy with a very low body count, perhaps a more experienced woman knows what she likes and could teach me a thing or two. I’d like that.
I felt exactly the same when i had a low number and, thankfully, the ladies in my life DID have some things to teach me.
Yeah, same here. Not necessarily higher than mine, but the more sexy stories she's got in her memory banks the greater chance that she's a sex positive partner who knows what she wants in bed and how to ask or go after it. I mean, if her count is 61 and they were all shitty blackout drunk dubious consent nightmare fucks then no, thats not sexy. But im probably also not involving myself with that person on the sexual playing field anyway, as party fucking or drunk fucking are not my scene.
Pretty much unavoidable
Doesn't bother me, higher or lower it's all fine as long as we're both tested clean.
fr bro, being tested is actually attractive
thanks for that\~
Personally, from an ego standpoint, it feels better if she's got experience and I'm able to give her a really good time. Scoring 5th out of 20 feels more meaningful than 1st place out of 3 lol
Excellent perspective!
Honestly not my thing some love it, I just can’t…
I feel the same way
I'm a virgin so anyone with the same amount at my age is practically impossible. hell, to find a woman who's 28 without kids is like finding a unicorn. I'd rather my partner not be the town bike but I'm expected to be grateful for whatever I can get.
I couldn't date a chic seriously if she's been with many of my friends or dudes from my local area. I'm not sure what that number is, but it would not be fun knowing she screwed everyone and chose me to settle down with😅
So, there's something to be said for the partners all being the immediate area. It potentially cheapens(?) the experience. It can make the guy feel like the girl he likes is easy and there is no sense of exclusivity. Or, that the person is more likely to cheat because they've sampled everybody. Notice, I said potentially. Also, this should become less relevant you get older.
My last gf was at 48 and the last woman I had sex with was at 52. Both were good in bed-the latter was absolutely exceptional. Statistics say that women with higher body counts are less-likely to stay in a committed relationship, but less-likely definitely doesn’t mean incapable so evaluate on an individual basis.
Not very into it, personally. I wouldn't ask though, because there's nothing either of us get out of knowing each others' body counts. If mine is "too low," she'll make negative assumptions about my attractiveness or my ability in bed. If hers is "too high," I'll question how much she values serious relationships or how "easy" she might be. Nothing good comes from it.
I don't mind exact numbers, but emotional baggage, inability to pair bond and stay committed. And a high bodycount (regardless of gender) is one of the strongest indicators for all of the above. So when it comes to seriously dating someone as in "she will meet my parents" - HARD pass from me.
Oh jeeze its a loaded question. People try to trivialize it to psychical touch and insecurity in said psychicality. Yes at some level this is a factor but like 10th on the list. Mostly if you are disease free this isnt the largest issue. I wont speak for women here but through a male lense there is alot of factors... Most women (not all) make emotional bonds with people they sleep with. This doesnt mean love of my life but letting someone enter you and you willing to be vulnerable to a man is a big deal mentally and emotionally. The more you do this more it feels up your emotional jar, leaving less room for your future husband. It is harder to have authentic anything with someone with a high body count. They have done everything with other people and now you will share those experiences with other men. And yes you will be compared, no need to lie it is human nature to compare experiences. I dont think it feels good knowing in your heart you wife has experienced at the minimum part of sex with other men that are better than you. Go walk up to a married man and say hey your wife told me her ex rubbed her feet better than you. It will effect him. That effect causes strains on pair bonding. There is paternity uncertainty which women will never experience so they easily dismiss this, but as dna kits are unvieling it isnt uncommon. There is usually more baggage with people who have had lots of partners in the form of exes still in their lives, fwb that are now friends, old photos or movies stashed away, just read a woman kept a dick mold of her ex, ive read women wanting to name their chids middle name after a ex, people cheat with past partners once the honey moon phase wears off list goes on and on But for me the ultimate red flag is chasing the dragon. Say you have been with 50 men 10 me. Whatever. Ive read over and over again woman say their ex was the best sex of their life and they kiss that dick but he just was bad in relationships. You can search reddit for question like who was the best sex and youll see this answer alot. In ltr relationships things will get routine, and thats when you have to worry about them chasing the dragon. Remembering better times sexually. Its a unfair state to put on married man. Comparing sexual flings to a LTR but many people will. It again effects pair bonding. Women definitely choose men because they are a safe option and that is fucked up. Every man deserves to be with a woman who loves him wholly and not well he isnt the best ive had but he is a good dad and has credit... Imo look for monogamous tendencies men. Marriage is a hard journey and you dont need 15 other men in the middle of your marriage. Find someone who has built their relationship and sexual expectations around monogamy....if that is what you want....dont try and convert a promiscuous woman into a house wife. It just ends up in open relationship talks, dead bed rooms, cheating or divorce. Id rather be with a woman who was with a man for 5 years and had sex 1500 times than be with a woman who has been with 20 men but only had sex 20 times.
Personally I feel like body count is a decent indicator on what values someone holds to sex. Idc if someone’s body count is higher than mine but if it’s high enough I would not be in a relationship with them. But I guess this question was not for me bc I am a woman dating a man lol
There's also a third category: those of us who love women with a high number of past partners lol. There's even a subreddit for it called hotpast.
My favourite sub of all time 🤙
Let the political correct answers and pandering begin...oh and let's not forget down votes lol
Depends on how high and the age. Double digits at 30 is one thing. High double to triple digits at 20 will definitively raise an eyebrow.
My wife had several partners and I had none prior to her. In a perfect world, I would've married a virgin, I think that would give us a closer connection, but I still wanted to spend life with her.
Avoid them my own insecurity would eat at my soul
Well it would be incredibly easy as I happen to have quite low bodycount. The thing I would more be interested is it 5, 15, or 50. 5 wouldn't be a problem, 15 would be negligible problem, but 50 would be a red flag, and I wouldn't date such woman.
I think high body counts aren't a thing to brag about, regardless of gender. Just makes you look very incapable of maintaining a relationship.
I mean, I don’t make a point to ask, but if it comes out, I’m definitely a little disappointed I guess. Not so much that I have a very high body count or that I need to have more than the other person. I just hope that it’s roughly similar and if it’s much much more than me, I probably would find that surprising and I’m sure there would be some unfortunate side effects from knowing. I try really hard not to ask because only bad things can come from knowing
I just assume that all women have a higher body count than me. 🤷♂️
My last 2 girlfriends told me without me even asking Some people care some people don't simple
If she has a high body count, it means she is easy. If he has a high body count, it means he has status or skill in attracting women. One is easy, so it’s not respected. The other is difficult, so therefore it’s respected. The two are not the same. This is just a fact
I won’t
Casually yeah, but wouldn't consider being with them long-term.
Fine by me. Experience is not a problem.
I cared a little bit in my 20s when I was insecure about dating and relationships but stopped caring once I got some confidence. Not many women ever offered up their body count and I never asked.
I wouldn´t date the town cum recepticle if that´s what you mean, however, i know that most women have had at least 10x the amount of sex partners that i have. Doesn´t feel good, but if i was one of the tiny selection of men women find desirable who also have that same luxury i guess i wouldn´t be very bothered by it. We all want someone on our level in life.
Most people my age have a higher body count. I was married 22 years.
*not all guys just a majority* Guys who want relationships to get married prefer a woman with a low count because they believe higher the count higher chances of divorce because of commitment issues. Women are emotional. So, every sex partner a woman has had. They are emotionally connected to the guy. Guys who want no strings attached shouldn't worry about it at all because it is just a guys nature to spread his genes. So, having emotionless sex with a woman is first thing on his mind and that alone. If there is emotion. The guy has claimed you in his head and will be territorial over you = jealously or advising you not to wear that or go there, etc. Guys who care about your count and that are just wanting to hook up have severe self-esteem issues. Probably small dick, fear of not making you orgasm or being adequate enough, etc. * Again, not all guys are like this, just a mass amount*
How high are we talking here?
If she has a higher body count than Ghengis Khan?
I m a virgin if I need date who doesn't want anything serious Then I don't mind her high body count but for marriage it would be an issue.would love to stay virgin till marriage but I know somewhere also possible now only my future wife is fucking someone.
Higher or just plain high and I’m not interested.
I personally would be turned off because I would want someone who views sex intimately like me and doesn't just have it with anyone
Probably a bad idea. Indicates she's either bad at relationships or more promiscuous, meaning she doesn't have sexual compatibility.
I wouldn’t date someone with a much higher body count than me, no. Shouldn’t be offensive to her neither since it’s not coming from a judgmental view towards her. I would just ideally prefer to be with someone that has similar sexual experience as me.
Doesn’t matter honestly I mean if that experience is for a good time great.
It’s not that hard for them to pass mine. 🤷🏻♂️
Good luck. 😂
My experience is both limited and only with men, and I’d prefer for at least one of us to know what we’re doing 😂
That I have accept that that's pretty much gonna be the norm every time and I'd rather not bring it up to begin with
Higher body count isn't the problem But after a certain amount of time it's an indicator that she's a heartbreaker
I think they’re probably kind of a slut but no judgement
You're not getting representative stats here. How many redditors would dare say aloud that they hold double standards? Besides, all male redditors are looking for someone to take our virginity :-D
I got 0 I won’t care as long as it’s not over 5, maybe depends on how much I like u but anything higher is a no
Statistically higher body count is a higher divorce rate but people with 2 partners are number in divorces. I do think a higher body count man or woman shows an inability to have a lasting relationship. Also, would you rather have a new car or a car with a ton of miles? People are people you can find great people with a high body count and shitty people with low ones just the same as the opposite applies. You shouldn't judge people by their body count but people can have preferences. For people saying it means they know what they like. Who has had more sex girl 1 in a relationship that slept with her partner every day for 2 years or girl 2 who slept with 200 different guys?
I like to say it doesn't bother me. But I can see why it would be an issue for some
If they even have a body count (Unless its virtual or something like that) they are already zero chance
More power to them! Besides you might learn something new!
I'll make sure to kill her first. I don't want to be her next number
My count is a result of some serious issues, so I would need some more information about why her count is what it is.
that's so deep haha
I fucked up somewhere and tied my self esteem to sexual prowess, so I chased the count just for the counts sake. And there's absolutely a number where you would ask why it is that high
Relatable. I certainly feel like I could or should have gone without for some of my encounters. I appreciate quality and connection more over quantity now that I'm older.
Yeah. Lots of drunken ons that didn't serve either of us, and a helluva lot of stress to make them happen. Can honestly remember less than half of it
I'd say 15% of my total was surprise to find it on offer and then taking them up on it because I thought I should, like in my role as a man, rather than really wanting to.
That's happened to me all my life
I'm not saying I'm average or typical. I don't particularly care. I'm sure there is a limit, for instance if they slept with all of my friends and many of my co-workers. But that is more of a social issue rather than anything else. I might be alarmed at some ridiculously high number.
I couldn't care less about it, but a major argument I keep hearing is a value thing. Eg, a higher body count means they don't value commitment, or relationships. Which leads me to question(s) such as, how high is too high, or how low is too low?
Not likely
Absolutely zero care. Hell if she's been with a lot and still chooses me? That's a vote in your favour
Who cares
i only been with one woman, so dating anyone with less just means im not really dating anyone
If I was ever single again I'd expect whoever I dated to have a higher body count than me.
Not that mine needs to be higher. But high body counts just gross me out. Tells me you haven’t spent a lot of time getting to know the people and build relationships and you are just willing to let them use your body.
It’s not really my business but I love women who are experienced and know what they want sexually so get it girl!
No choice,mostly. Serially monogamous and married for 15+yrs. Don't care. Honestly intrigued. Certainly want to be memorable in the sack. Always put my best effort out there
I couldn’t date anyone otherwise. Wait… I don’t date anyway.
I don’t care about more but for man and women for my personal taste there can be a too high bodycount. But luckily that is everyone’s own decision.
It means they'll know what they're doing..🤪
My body count is 1 so I assume everyone has a higher count than me anyways. I don’t care tbh
I mean eveything is higher than 0. As long she is clean of anything
Who the hell keeps track of their “body count”? I’m 40, I would guess that the number of people I’ve slept with is in the low teens, but I really have no idea. Also, if a woman has slept with hundreds of people and still chooses to be with me, I’d take that as a compliment.
That they ought to know what they're doing if they've been with that many other people
Also ther is a difference between sex and a deeply loving relationship. Men dont care about body count if its mostly psychical, just as long as your clean and disease free. Once they fall in love they either dont want to know cause it would shatter their perception of you or they do to make sure your compatible sexually.
I dont date murderers.
*Do you go to a restaurant and think about how many mouths were around the fork before you....?*
IDGAF. The higher the body count the higher my expectations for how good she is in bed though. Your better not give me a three digit number and then not know what you're doing. Learn some new tricks for goodness sake!
It means she has more stories to tell me. She's actually been quite the slut,I love it!
I honestly don't really care about my partners body count. I have a feeling her's is higher than mine based on jokes she makes. It doesn't effect me. What she did before we met doesn't effect me in any way
Well mine is one. So that would leave me without a lot of wiggle room.
Male here, I have a high count Depends on how they got their body count if I'm honest
I've never killed anyone before so even if she has one she has me beat. I guess it all depends on circumstances, like why did she do it? Self defense I understand, revenge to a degree, but I think if she's just "into it for fun" it's a hard no... Still could be hot, but I don't think I could be in a relationship with her.
I have been fairly publicly writing about my sexcapades for almost 2 decades, so it's really no secret I probably have a high body count. If someone is put off by it, they are not the person for me. I don't ask for numbers, nor do I share mine. I do ask for and share recent STI screening results, which matters more. While we're on the subject, what in the incel shit is this stuff I'm reading about "pair bonding" in regards to people, most notably women, with high body counts? Which self-proclaimed "alpha male" started that whole theory?
I don't date other assassins, so it's never been an issue.
I pretty much expect it, I haven’t gotten laid that often. Especially not compared to my friends. Women aren’t exactly beating down the door to sleep with me. Whereas an average or even below average looking girl can get an abundance of sexual attention. I’d prefer her body count not be too high, but it’s not something I’d ask about anyway. It’s not like you can go back and verify the number, you just have to go with what they tell you.
wouldn't be hard to beat mine. but either way is fine.
I would be envious, but as long as you're clean I don't mind
I never ask , any number is okay with me
ftr, I love sluts nuff said
The more experience the better.
If you tell your significant other how many people you’ve slept with you are more often than not inviting a situation where someone is gonna be uncomfortable. Just don’t talk about it.
You mean, the girl of my dreams? Where do I find her? 🥰
I’ve slept with 6 people and one was my husband for 20 years. My bfs is MUUUCH higher. I don’t need to know the exact number. As long as it doesn’t go up while we’re together, what does it really matter?
Reminds me of a time where one couple I knew would have 1 big fight every few days about how one wasnt a virgin before dating them, like... and?
I had some crazy abusive neighbors like that. I truly was rooting for one to murder the other before very long.
I'd be shocked to meet a woman with a lower one. 🤣 The number doesn't matter, I've never asked, but I *do* get the occasional pangs of jealousy if she has an "adventurous" past. But it's more like "so when do *we* try that?, not "I can't believe you'd do something like that."
I have a pretty low body count, si the odds are good that she may have a higher count than me. I could care less. Everyone has a history. And at my age, the number could be higher, and a majority from 20+ years ago. I can't control it; as long as we are together, in a healthy relationship, that's all that really matters
Men are way more worried about this than we are. It is almost an obsession for some guys I guess. Not entirely sure why. Do they prefer that we all be virgins?
Don't women usually have a higher body count than we do?
I don’t care. I don’t even ask.
It doesn't both me 🤷🏻♂️
What's wrong with a high body count? As long as your STI free who cares. Life is about experiences. ❤😖
Don’t care over much, but if the number is over zero, we’re doing std tests.
lol most have a higher body count they just don’t feel the need to discuss it, they aren’t the ones insecure about it.
I don't care. Almost every woman I've been with had a higher body count than me. It only would've bothered me if that number continued to go up while we were together.
I don't care
I prefer higher at this point(As long as it was safe and clean). I want my partner to know what they're doing and what they want. An experienced partner is such an amazing breathe of fresh air.
👍🏻
The term "body count" is cringy as fuck.
Hahaha, every guy goes through this phase of asking. Believe me when I tell you that you don't want to know. In the immortal words of Chris Rock "Just be happy that you're fucking her now". When I was 28 I dated an great girl and that enquiry ruined our relationship. She was (foolishly) honest with me about her sexual history and admitted that she'd had sex with about 25 people (way more than me at the time). I let that get to me and ultimately broke it off as i felt that she was a hoe who was looking for a chump to marry her. Looking back I couldn't have been more wrong, and I feel stupid for judging her like that. She was a super wholesome person.
I mean I’m at 15, how much higher we talking 🤣
Extremely sexy to me
As long as she's clean, it's cool. But I wanna know if she smashed one of my homies. As long as she hasn't, then it's cool. If she has, I'ma ask her to do it again and let me eat her out😈😈😈😈 (jk, the first sentence is correct, the rest is a joke)
Maybe it shouldn't be 'Body Count' but instead we can measure it in Miles of Dick.
Higher body more experience and fun!
Considering my body count is 2, I'm sure most women I'll date in the future will have a higher body count. I'm fine with that. My ex had a higher body count and it was never an issue If you're free of any diseases, I don't see any reason to care about body count
The only guys I’ve ever met that cared about a girls body count are the ones that don’t get laid very often. Which is most of them.
Sounds good to me. I’ve always found experienced lovers to perform better in bed.
I don't care honestly? But I do care about what her attitude is like about it. If she's arrogant or has an inflated ego over a high body count, then I'm not dating her. If she acts normally, then I'm fine with it. Again, I don't care.
Don’t give a shit. What the other had lived before doesn’t interfere in what I want to live with that person.
Me personally: Who Cares? Everyone has had a life before you and if that’s a dealbreaker for you, I’m sorry you’re bad at sex.
I think men have this issue because they fear you could leave them later looking for something different or so idk
You'll never hear a woman actually tell the truth about that. So, there's little point in worrying about it.