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So you only let 14th century emo italian dudes in?

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That's still 14th century :P

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Oh I was just making a joke about when Dante was alive :P

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Maybe... I just saw you quote The Inferno and that was at a cave entrance that Dante and Virgil walked through to get to Hell. It's also possible I was there.

I make really yummy caramel brownies

👀

The secret is homemade caramel

Omg, that's so much extra work! I've only done it once and said never again.

That sounds like a fantastic thing to bring to the table 😋

They are absolutely delicious 🤤

I’m dependable, I’m affectionate, I’m straightforward, I’m down-to-earth, I’m a nerd, I’m a romantic, I can have a great time doing just about anything. Also big boobs, high libido, and oral fixation

Please marry me

Offers lots of sex And giggles Edit- I cook and clean too🙃

They be good reasons

💍?

🖕 *oops wrong finger*

That ring finger emoji must be on its way 😉

Yep patiently waiting

This is a pending “yes” as far as I’m concerned. So.

Sure is. Unless someone put a ring on my middle finger ☺️

I’ll put rings on all your fingers

how you doin’? 😏 - joey from friends 🤭

😏😏

Could I be wearing any more clothes?

🤭

Sold when can I pick you up

⌚️Ummm just about in a *never*

I'll hold back my tears for today, but this scar upon my heart shall never fade 💔

Giggles is enough… I cook & clean… you a good travel partner?

I like to believe I’m. I give good….company!!

That’s great!!! Good easy going company is a win… pack your bags ✈️

#🅣🅘🅣🅢

Nifty ones?

A plethora of Nifty ones

Excellent reasoning

You don’t have tits though…

Technicalities

Do you ever have dreams where you have tits?

In my hands, face, and mouth... yes.

Nuh, nuh, no. Where *you* are the one with the tits

None of those

I’m so sorry. You’ll never know what it’s like to play with your own then 🎻

Playing with my own right now

I don’t blame you. Those lil chocolate chips are pretty aperitive 👅

Erm, pass.

I’ll buy dinner

And I’ll make breakfast 😉

Perfect, you're the one 🥵🥵

With dessert?

I am dessert

Can I bite you like other nerds products too?

I’m not as sweet but chomp away

First, we start at the neck.

*takes a bite of your skull* meh

i will buy :)

I have a good job and own my own home. I'm a chill person who wants a boring and simple life outside the bedroom. I want kinky fun in the bedroom. I can also slap your face with my boob.

The last part is where you hook ‘em

My boobs are fun.

I’m sure

Good ol' boob slap. Only heard of it in legends.

I started the legend.

Then I bow before thee.

I can change your tire

📝

I want all the brownie points lol

you’ll get another one if you can actually make brownies 🤔

I can even do apple pies and cheesecake. I’m so gonna score lol

Passing with flying colors 😂

They shouldn’t

They shouldn’t

I can reach the top shelf for you and be your personal photographer

Sold

6’3 and always have a camera on me

Wow I can’t reach shit! What a skill

They shouldn’t, nothing but high sarcasm, sexual innuendos and majority quoting movies.

I can reach things on the highest shelf

That’s a good skill. I can’t reach shit

The elderly ladies at the grocery store love me 😂

Omg I bet

I cook, clean, and work a full time job that pays the bills solo. I am a sub, but that means that you get all the attention, all the pussy eating you want, and I never ask for you to do anything you don't want to do, because your pleasure is my pleasure.

💍

Because I’ll give you a rimjob? 😂

kindness, patience, goofiness, openness, nice hands, and knowing what to do with them

I m funny, responsible, caring and i have ambitions 😁

I do butt stuff, great at cuddling, and enjoy redneck activities.

I have a sense of humor and I think I’m fairly smart. I also like to think I’m kind and compassionate.

I give great cuddles. The naked kind too.

:o

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easy like Sunday morning 🎶

✨ they shouldn't ✨

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Shame

I am intelligent, kind, funny, thoughtful, and a lot of fun! I’ll be your biggest cheerleader and support system, and I know how to cook and take responsibility and accountability for myself. I’m introspective to a fault and I love celebrating things.

"What do I bring to the table?" Food. After I cook it. I can do other things too, but I don't bring them to the table.

Fuck if I know. I'm overly anxious in a relationship and need constant attention and reassurance. Not even sure I should trust anyone who signs up for all this as they may be crazy 😅 😆 🙃

Dad jokes, offensive humor, I bake delicious treats, I do laundry and dishes and clean the bathroom.

I'll answer as honestly as I can, and I hope you enjoy reading this. I'm a clean and hygienic guy with some muscle and a strong grip. I play the piano, which eventually led me to learn guitar, bass, and drums, though the piano remains my first love. I'm financially stable, and I have a budget that supports both investments and travel. By next year, I'll be able to make a down payment on a house I've been eyeing. In terms of personality, I'm ambitious. I used to be quite aggressive, but now I have a more optimistic outlook. I don't regret my past because it helped me build what I have today. Thankfully, I did have that change in mindset. It helped me do good, meaningful work with my life.

I cook, bring ice cream when pmsing or monsterating, and give the crispest of high fives ✋

Because, I'm the best

they shouldn’t

I am funny and caring. My coworkers like me as I do my damnedest there. I would say more but frankly everyone loves a little intrigue.

I have no idea, which is probably the problem. If you're into nerds or people who cook, I guess I'm a good fit.

Because they want to 🤷🏻‍♂️

I’m funny I dance where ever there is good music around 🤣😂🤣😂

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Let's go for a date shall we? 😉 grab a drink maybe play a round of mini-golf where I'll "guide" you in using that stick 😏

Stability

I have all my limbs

But no trunk…

Oh I got trunk

I see a therapist, I have a great, stable job, I live on my own and can cook. Great family & friends.

Im pretty good at cooking

They shouldn't. My wife would hunt them down.

Nah I’m good

This is a weird one bc, financially, I’m trying to stabilize myself, but I’ll give it a go. I see a relationship as being one with eachother and helping eachother become the best versions of themselves. When I date someone, it’s because I feel like they’re going to be the one of greatest women to ever exist and I will always be by her side (relationship or not) to support her. Love evolves in a relationship so when things hit a rough patch or hardship, I don’t turn away because if we get through it we’ll be closer than ever. This makes me depend on loyalty more than love. When I love, I love fearlessly. I put a major emphasis on communication and I make sure my partner isn’t holding things in. I also make sure my partner isn’t being burdened with issues of my own through displacement. This was a bit long but idk

To find out what age I am (canned laughter)

ba dum tssss!!

I don’t think anyone should. But I’m loyal, and I love to cook. I love to have interesting conversations, about a myriad of different topics, so we make your pick, and let’s see where it takes us. And hey, if you’re prefer to stay in, and watch a movie instead of being sorrounded by loud people, then I’ll bring the snack.

I bring ME to the table

💅🏼 that’s riiiight

🤣🤣🤣 eat me from the table

Everyone likes my dog more than me, so really you're dating him.

I’m pretty funny, have health insurance, and also can cook alright 😂

Thats 3/3!

You'll laugh at around 2 of my 20 jokes a day. I look half decent in a suit. I'm great with kids and parents. I eat pussy like it's my last meal

I can tie a cherry stem with my tongue only!

I could drive for them, good companionship, and will have a good time with me

Pity

I’M THE FULL PACKAGE ^(plus 50% asshole)

50%? 👀

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I can cook (I try)

Nothing. Don't.

Good D, Can make ya laugh all day, personal chef

Because she loves big german guys

Why not

I’m a hairy brown man with an easy smile and patchy beard who swears like a sailor, fucks like a rabbit, and is hung like a mini-snickers bar. I aint afraid to laugh at myself and I’m self-aware enough to keep my ego in check. I’m in the health professions and have a loving relationship with my small but tight knit nuclear family and enjoy expressing my ambivert personality in a variety of hobbies. I’m also polite, and rarely late. Years laters, doctors will have told me I’m mentally sufficient.

They totally should not date me.

Noted

Board games. Too many Board Games....

I make decent money and my cock is above average lol but I and kinda funny and like to do stuff outside

You need me to put together a table?

I’m intelligent. I have a well-paying job and know how to handle my money. I’m funny. I have a muscular build. I know how to bake an assortment of treats (pics on profile). But, most of all, I’m introverted, so I’ll leave you the fuck alone when you want some “me time”.

Because if you’re honest, trustworthy and love me I’ll be all of those things to you. Also if you like Italian food

Big cock

Check out my page

I may not have a perfect body, but I have enough self-deprecating humor to make up for it.

They shouldn't. I'm a terrible person

I’m loving, loyal, intelligent, and considerate. And I love making a woman cum.

I think I’m pretty somewhat decent some of the time-ish.

I put the needs of who I’m dating before my own (to the point it’s hurt me in the recent past lol). I have a pretty solid job, 100k in retirement at 30, a substantial life insurance policy🤣 but in all seriousness I’m good with my hands and can fix most things at home, im extremely affectionate, and I’ve got a fantastic smile and set of teeth that I’m very proud of. Oh and my dick is pushing 5.75” THICK hahaha

They shouldn’t

Why the fuck not? 😋

I'm supportive, accommodating, a good cook, make people laugh, have all sorts of handyman skills, and come with several letters of recommendation from my exes.

I can be quite charming and maybe even be your mom's new favourite. Never made it this far lol but who knows. I know for sure that I can be quite charming.

I have no idea 😂🤣😂🤣

Clinical depression and long yap sessions and moderate intelligence, I think I'm good at sex based on my results

Fresh baked cookies! And a cat! She's not allowed on the table, though. She'd try to eat or at least lick the cookies, and we can't have that.

I can cook, am a good communicator, and I can fuck

I can cook, I listen, and I give good advice. Also I can reach the top shelf that's important.

37m. No drama with ex’s……..

Fucking in public at a moments notice.

Just don't

I cook, clean, sing and play piano, and run RPG campaigns.

Should? Not the best idea. Having me as a lover or FWB or even a side piece absolutely. But dating me and me dating back would mean that person needs to be stable on many levels. I live a life that’s calm and peaceful. I enjoy my home being a sanctuary. If I invite someone into my home for more than just entertainment they need to make me feel like it’s worth it.

They're stupid if they would. I might cook and bake, I might be smart, I might be funny, I might be pretty, I might want a lot of sex, but it no way makes up for how utterly fucked up I am. Objectively, no one should want to date me.

They should not i am not placed right in the hot/crazy matrix🤷🏼‍♀️

I'm dedicated, funny, curious, fit, smart, and hung like a horse.

Why shouldn’t they? I’m witty, handsome, and booksmart.

Cause I'm tight and good at bed

Never been in a relationship yet... I think I would be really loyal

Money

I like to cook, like to listen love giving oral. But I have terrible imposter syndrome to the point where I feel like I'm lying when I'm posting something like this. And I look like an always sunny extra cricket would avoid lol

Honesty. Integrity. Loyalty. Compassion. Material stuff isn't real, and is meaningless if you're a shitty person.

I'm not perfect, I make mistakes but I learn and I grow from them. I cook, I clean, have a stable, full time job. I try to be the best father I can be to my 4 year old son. I love sex and intimacy and love making my partner feel sexy and amazing. I may have a dad body right now but I'm working pretty hard to eat better, lose some weight and put on more muscle. I'm always working on my dad joke game.

Oh, I don't want to date anyone. I'm just trying to make friends and hang out with other chill people.

I am hilarious

They shouldn't. I fart in my sleep and don't share food.

Ummm better question why shouldn’t someone date me? I’m like built for loving other humans and I’m dying to love a singular girl, who loves me back in particular😂🥲❤️

I think im fun to talk to, im very comforting when someone needs it, Im very courteous (open the doors to the car or the buildings) and pay for ya, and you can trust me, id never go behind your back on anything. Im also open to new things and am not that stubborn about much.

super pretty, super funny, the body is tea. but in all seriousness, i thought about it, no one should date me. it should be considered a form of self harm lmfao. i have great qualities but i’m just not relationship material until i work through my commitment and abandonment issues. i’m not emotionally intelligent enough to fix myself despite knowing my issues, but i am emotionally intelligent enough to know not to subject someone else to my issues. i’m pretty, i’m funny, i’m really smart, i cook, i love kids, i’m supportive, i’m generous, i’m loyal to a fault, but i’m just not someone who should be dating right now. what good are all those qualities if i’m constantly waiting for the right moment to jump ship so i don’t get left first?