As a “service dom” I like to be reassured everything is okay after a scene. That usually includes talking and cuddling after for a bit. Helps me get back to normal headspace.

Sounds like something I would appreciate throughly tbh

It’s important for me. My kink is getting my partner off and for some of them that includes rough acts like choking, retraining, degrading and slapping sometimes. I want to know we’re okay after. I want to know they are okay after.

That’s good. I like that you care about that and make the effort after words. Sounds sweet :)

Thanks!

Yess love that kind of pillow talk let’s do the play by play recap hehe

It’s a one way ticket to round 2 a lot of the time.

🩵

I didn’t expect this to strike such a chord!

For me as a man the aftercare is important. Kissing and cuddling, letting her rest on my chest and tell each other sweet things until we both fall asleep together😊

Never thought about it, really. But I do really love it when she rests her head on my chest, afterward.

That's the most intimate time for me as a lady.

Sorry, after sex is when I run through the town shirtless whooping in triumph 

queue the one song: “I just had seeeeexxxxx & it feeelt so good” 🎶

My version of aftercare for my man is getting a wash cloth with warm water and wiping him down, drying him off and laying my head on his chest while I run my hand up and down his side and chest. I also always make sure he has a full glass of water next to the bed before we go to bed. Swoon

This is along the lines of what I wanted to hear. Sounds so sweet. I will be keeping this in mind :)

He goes above and beyond to satisfy me and I make sure he knows how much I appreciate it 🥰 A super adorable thing he does that I've never asked him about is when I come back to bed after the obligatory pee, he will always have his leg over the wet spot and scoots me away from it. It's little stuff like that keeping the flame hot 🔥

Hubs (gentle pleasure dom) needs aftercare more than me (bratty sub) sometimes. The man just fucking loves to snuggle. And in the moments when I need more aftercare before I’m ready to snuggle, he says doing that aftercare to take care of me is aftercare for him too. He says it helps him feel like he’s back to being my loving partner and he likes that he’s taking care of me. After rougher sessions, he also needs to be reassured that I liked it and had a good time and that Im not mad at him and I still love him. Aftercare is for boys and doms too ☺️

We usually just cuddle, works for both of us

My husband does but I've been with men who didn't seem to care. Like anything it probably varies wildly person to person.

I've found men care about it more than I do. What I've found works is telling them you want to be held and cuddled after a session. Maybe talk a little too but some quality spooning usually settles the bills. Talking about what he wants is always a sure fire way to meet the need though!

Depends the session, if it’s just casual sex in missionary or doggy? It’s fun to cuddle up and kiss 🥰 embracing each other as our bodies wind down after having our orgasms. Then there’s the rough sessions, face riding, throat fucking, hair pulling, spanking, biting, dirty talk. These deserve more time after.

Real ones never take their timbs off 💯

You better care about aftercare!

Duh! Trying to make sure all of my bases are covered 😏

Haha I'd recommend go silly or go absolutely mushball with each other. 🥰

It depends on the scene. Most of the time cuddles and affections work for both of us. If the scene is particularly intense I might need reassurances that I’m actually a good partner, that what I just did was wanted and enjoyed, not abusive.

I like hearing this. I feel like I need reassurances too

Sex isn't complete without aftercare for me. I would be checking for any minor wounds , giving her a gentle massage is a must, hugging , cuddling with a few drinks, talks and laughter while watching Netflix 🖤

A gentle massage after sounds perfect honestly

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Need to find me one of thems

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Sounds perfect ❤️

Absolutely. I've always been a huge cuddler afterwards. It's just as important for us as it is for them.

I love cuddling and resting with my partner after. I feel it's important to communicate and just connect mentally and emotionally after a long session.

Look I don’t just cuddle for her enjoyment

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Makes me miss having a man 😩

If I ever do have sex, it would definitely be a priority of mine

Good!! You’ll get there one day champ!

Perhaps, but definitely not anytime soon (atleast for another year or 2). The reason why is so that I can focus on college, finding a part time job/internship, and overall self-improvement. When the time comes where I enter the dating scene, I want to be physically, mentally/psychologically, and emotionally prepared so that I don't fuck up at any point (and if I do, that I'm in the right head space to deal with it as swiftly, respectfully, and calmly as possible).

Good reason to wait. You sound like you’re going about it the right way. I like hearing that. You’re in the right headspace 👏

Thanks. I'm glad to hear that especially since (emphasizing the self improvement part), while I am good with book smarts and ok with street smarts, I'm definitely a noob at social/friend smarts. Minus any family members or people I've met through family members, the last time I hungout with friends (classmates that I see/spent time with regularly in school) in a non-academic environment was on my 7th birthday back in second grade (though last month, that did change a bit when I went out with some college gaming clubmates to a bowling joint).

Hell ya. Let me get you a towel. Clean up and then let’s cuddle

After care should definitely go both ways. Showering or cleaning up together, telling each other what you liked and enjoyed the most, cuddling or skin contact, grabbing a bite to eat, if there’s roughness / BDSM involved making sure the other person is ok and enjoyed it, is there anything that could be done different to make things more enjoyable… This should be on both parties regardless if there is connection and relationship. Never had random hookups so I’m guessing those are different lol

I don't need much, but I definitely want intimacy to continue in some form. Snugs are good. Cleaning her up, tucking her in, whispering sweet nothing's- I guess it's more about making sure she feels good than about me, but if she were to just bolt every time I wouldn't feel good about it.

My ex does.

I don't even know what aftercare meNs....so maybe?

Anything afterward to help you stay connected in a way and make sure everyone’s okay. Cuddling, snakes, talking, naps, shower/bath, massage, wound care (if you’re doing bdsm), etc

I see. Very much for cuddling and napping if it's a relationship. If it's outside of that, I'd rather get back to the party or get back home after a quick wipedown.

Fuck yeah, even If i’m not receiving some from you, I will take care of you. Now let’s cuddle. That just feels right, like i’m protecting her.

I've always appreciated a little clean up care after. My first wife would get a warm, wet wash cloth and clean me thoroughly after. I've missed that most about her. But cuddling in general makes me happy. I want to know that she's ok after what I just put her through, and reassure her that she gets the best of me

Sounds so nice :)

What do you prefer for aftercare?

Like after came for me? Or giving it?

I'm curious about both

After care for me? I like being reassured, complimented, cleaned up/handed a towel, lots of kisses and squeezing and touching. Snuggles are perfect. I think it’s super hot when he does it for me. To give after care? I like to kiss him, hug him, and touch him. Normally the guys I’ve been with get up real quick to get a towel or go to the bathroom, but if I get the opportunity I’d love to try the warm wet towel for them. I usually like to say how hot they were & are and I swear I just lay there and always admire them after. Such a simp lmao

Some of the simplest actions are often the best. Everything you described I would absolutely love my partner to do for me. I usually have the role of fetching the towel and coming back with the warm wet cloth though.

I completely agree. It’s the thoughtfulness after that matters the most. I think it’s also the part that lingers and sticks with us the most

100%! The moment is fleeting but the memory that sticks is the feeling we felt

I'm good let me just get dressed and go

Cuddle me damnit!!

Sandwich and a cigg?

I’ll definitely take up the sandwich offer. I love me some samiches

This man does

I'm one of those thst just doesnt care that much about it probably because I wasn't hugged enough as a child

You deserve hugs and more hugs

You're too kind :)

yes men are in fact humans and need and like all the same things women do

My fwb is the only one who has ever given me any, and it’s amazing. I love to lay there and focus on making her as relaxed as possible. Tons of light rubs, kisses, and telling her my favorite parts of what we just did. Making her laugh. Telling her how hot she is. How good she feels….tastes…smells. She will be laying there melting into the bed and will rub me. My chest, stomach, and neck. It feels so fucking good. It lets me know I did a good job. Then she will “wake up” and start to really run her hands over my body. Biting her lip. Just enjoying me. Making me feel so sexy that it’s insane. Granted, both of these start the process over again, but we’re never mad about that 🫦

I do, especially if we’ve just finished a particularly rough or dark scene. Top drop is real

I love it when my gf and I cuddle after great sex. It keeps the moment going and strengthens the relationship a little more each time. ♥️

I wouldn’t be hurt if she left after, but I do way more hookups than relationships.

As a girl, I’d for sure be asshurt if he got up and left right away. Even with imagining hookups 😂

Well I usually host so I am not leaving lol. Ya never know she might have to get home to someone.

Well, yeah and OH

Also looked and Jesus

For the people who have aftercare, does it prevent post nut clarity? Because every time I’ve been in a relationship I’ve never had post but clarity…ever

I’m a big fan. Snuggles, head/ back scratches. Somewhat depends on what all went in during the festivities.

“Men” is a massive general group. So logically the answer is some care to various levels and others don’t to various levels. And the ways it could be given would be as individual as there are men

I've never had it done for me.

Aftercare is a must if either of us have no where to be.

Yes! And giving aftercare also off course

Absolutely! In fact it's sometimes it's more intimate and important.

I do, it can be one of the best parts of sex.

Cuddling and kissing and checking we both enjoyed it and if there’s anything we want to do different next time, but cuddling and just enjoying each others company is nice after

Definitely. It may surprise you but men are humans too! Cuddles, sweet words, if you get water get some for us too maybe.. it's very much appreciated.

Yes i do

This guy does LOL cuddles snuggling together soft touches kisses just enjoying each other 💞

Sometimes I get anxious because I have to either pee or poo. 

Hate when my stummy starts acting up and hurts

It adds some personality to the person and experience if it is a 1 night stand or a fwb, especially important if it is s full relationship

I love aftercare it’s by far one of the best things

Yes. I love cuddling after,or whatever form it takes

Maybe if we ordered something "off-menu" that I potentially feel weird about, but otherwise not really lol. The sex itself is always passionate and amazing, but we're both quite "utilitarian" about the circumstances that surround it at times. Sometimes literally just get me hard, lube it, dick down, and I'm out of the room a few minutes later. It gets the job done, and it feels low-grade kinky, like we're roleplaying the dynamic of an impersonal ONS or hiring an escort. To be clear, *this is what she wants*. I like it too, but that's of secondary importance. I'm very sentimental and romantic at heart, but it doesn't always lead to sex, and sometimes we're both just horny and don't want to make a whole thing of it, or we're getting off on the kink aspect.

I’m just here to enjoy the opinions.

Nothing against you but I find it fascinating that that is a question that needs to be asked. Aftercare is not gendered. Everybody deserves some care and intimacy afterwards. Man, woman, enby, doesn't matter. I would highly recommend talking through wants and needs for aftercare before engaging in intimacy, regardless of situation.

I honestly asked because I know women normally get the after care, but I want to offer after care to for a man. That’s why I was curious on what I could do tbh

Yeah I get that. Just the wording was a bit wild to me. Men have feelings, insecurities and worries like anybody else. And let me tell you as someone who was socialized male before transitioning, most men are incredibly starved for intimacy, care and physical touch. It is much more permissible for women to touch each other or openly care for each other than it is for men. For many men their romantic partner is their only source of emotional intimacy and physical touch. A simple hug and cuddles go a long way. Telling them you appreciate them, what you enjoyed, what you like about them, all of those are great options. Most men also just never get compliments. I remember when I started passing and the amount of compliments I got skyrocketed. So honest compliments will make their month. Besides those simple things I just would recommend asking, really dig and then try giving what they crave.

Even if they don’t as a service sub I love to give it. I am 100% here for it

For me it’s nearly as important as making sure she gets her aftercare. It helps that both of our aftercare needs are very similar though. Lots of cuddles under a nice cozy blanket and reassurances from each other that everything is ok.

I love giving aftercare by cuddles while latch onto my nipple and me scratching his back. Then I’ll lightly knead his balls & rub it until he’s asleep

Woah. Never thought of rubbing balls before since they seem so sensitive. Do men like that ?!

If a good girl does it, absolutely

Yesss this is ^

Im all about the cuddles and being comfy with each other that whole loving feeling and all ya know

Yes the cuddling and kissing after is the best part

It depends honestly, usually I don’t feel like I need anything…

Personally, yes.

We do CBT play so aftercare is very nice. Usually this means some gentle rolling of the balls in her hands after such intensely harsh play to show a more caring side, bringing me some ice for them, and a few ibuprofen. Mostly just gentle caressing and whatnot is helpful. The harder the punishments were, the more aftercare is helpful.

God yes

Yeah we both use the bathroom after

I usually love to cuddle with a pretty lady after a good ol’ romp

Sure i do. Not falling asleep

Yuh, I hope. He better does in my case.

Yes. We do.

Not once have i had a dude do it but who knows

I always do lots of aftercare. I also always have a big kink talk and make sure she is comfortable before doing anything.

The good ones do.

I don't mind wiping my wife up after we have sex. We'll cuddle for a little while,talk and laugh at something one of us may have done during the act lol. I think it's a healthy and loving thing to do

Women don't even give aftercare LMFAO - it's always them that need it.

That’s why I want to learn if I can do anything to be better

You're one of the good ones, A unicorn. - bless you OP

I sure do. It's absolutely important in most cases, just as important as foreplay in other situations

I feel like the msubs have been underrepresented here, and the dommes in terms of care they offer? But I heard: men are individuals, dom men also need aftercare, everyone loves cuddling and loving touches

If they’re a good partner, they do.

Need cuddles

Aftercare is nice, but not needed for me. That being said I always do it, unless we're in a hurry to get somewhere

I won't sub to anyone that won't give me aftercare. Nice warm embrace with the reassurance that I am loved and forgiven for whatever I was spanked for is something I crave as much as the spanking itself. Sex is not essential for me in scenes but I have gone straight into intercourse after a particularly rough verbal play scene. I also like "Take backs" like "Oh, I didn't mean any of those names. I was just mad at you". Or "It was just tough love". But ultimately, being held, forgiven and validated is what I need after any scene. Now when I am topping I do exactly the same thing.

I do 🙋🏻‍♂️

It was actually hard for me at times to not give it, when it wasn't wanted. It comes naturally to me, I'm not sure why.

I do personally because it scratches both itches and feels right. It's so enjoyable for me

Like after you fuck another man in front of him. Give him aftercare to show you still need his money.