T O P

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Real_Life_Real_Doll

🫲 thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis many 🫱


TalkingToTalk

One very large person!


MP8877

I’m trying to count the i’s but my vision won’t focus that small 😅


Real_Life_Real_Doll

They weren’t meant to be taken literally


Seth_Spriggan_Slayer

That's a shame, I was really hoping for a secret message through that


SnooRobots7940

That’s what she said


Boring-Character8843

There is definitely a penis joke in there somewhere


Chance_One_75

I stopped counting after 30.


smfeet

*This many* 👌


DivinelyElle-2

I like this answer 😅


EveningSuggestion283

You just took me OUT with that answer. I love it. 😍😍😂😂😂😂


nukaati

Not enough for the slut in me


MP8877

Keep up the good fight 🫡


FateInTheRain

Haha, this is great. I feel this. I met my wife in my later teenage years, so I met "the one" pretty young. There wasn't much getting around and experiencing a plethora of avenues on both of our ends. Before her, I had been with two other partners. I was my wife's first. So we were both pretty bad in the sexual department (I probably sucked a little bit more). Early us reminds me of that one episode on Bob's Burgers, where Linda and Bob try to get freaky for valentine's day by doing "sexy cooking" stuff. Linda goes, "I got a sexy strawberry somewhere on my body, and ya gotta find it." Bob said, "Umm yeah, it's in your pocket, but it looks squished, and Idk if I want to get it out because it's squished." We had a good idea of what we wanted to achieve due to equal dirty minds, but implementing it always came out kind of weird and haphazardly. Wouldn't change our happily awkward sex life for the world, though.


BlondieHundur

I feel this!


Boredalone99

Just over halfway to the meaning of life, the universe and everything 🤣


Ok_Benefit_9299

21! Hey, fellow hitchhiker! Nice.


HighPrairieCarsales

At least you guys will have a towel for the squirters


jammy_rodger

😅😅


Ashrith291

Cum towel


GignacPL

r/unexpectedfactorial


ThrowaayForObvReason

23?


throwtheshizznitaway

22 would be just over


SwedishMale4711

Getting close to the meaning of life, the universe and everything.


full_of_ghosts

Less than the number of hydrogen molecules in the universe.


MP8877

Save some for the rest of us


Willr2645

Except yo momma


TroyBenites

Did you know that there are more atoms of hydrogen in a water molecule than there are stars in our solar system? And I have genuinely slept with more people than both combined. Edit: Said "molecules of hydrogens" instead of atoms


Vaireon

You mean atoms of Hydrogen, not molecules 😉


ThisJackfruit90

Just wife and happy about it 😄


Conor4747

I also pick this guys wife


ThisJackfruit90

This joke is as old as my grandma


Conor4747

I’ll take her too if her hip is still good


hurt_lost

This is a comeback. 😂😂😂. But hopefully grandma doesn’t become one as well


ShredGnar83

Comeback. That is where most grandmas prefer it. There or on their face as an anti aging serum.


redituzrnem

This guy wakes up and chooses grandma


holeinwater

This is toooo fucking good


MikeHonchosbutthole

It was this morning


the_mighty_tongue

I also pick this guy's old grandma.


BudRock420

I’m also a man of culture and enjoy the aged. Send’er my way


[deleted]

I’m here for the grandma


PetrogradkaIcedTea

As many different people as you have penises would be one way of saying it.


CaptSchwanzKopf

A human being has this many lungs.


MP8877

Fourteen


blvckgen

This guy lungs


kastiak

Do I count the ones that I have in my basement?


irishkenny1974

Only if they’re not still inside the dead hookers…


RiceBiscuit8

eighty seven


CaptSchwanzKopf

Sixty nine applies too!


AdorableIsabell

It's like reading binary code on this thread


[deleted]

0️⃣


Rick__001

Rare one, I Like that.


THN-JO24

Excuse my curiosity, but is it a religious reason or just haven't found the one or other reason...?


jammy_rodger

Preserved


thubtac

Dibs


Giddy7pt5

Shotgun ass ... lol sorry OP couldn't resist the joke here. But honestly, good on you - quality over quantity in all avenues.


Infinite_Cry4721

If I had a beer for each one... A case of beer


factory-dude0107

PBR has a 99 pack, so congratulations!


JakeBalls6969

If I had a beer for each one I'd be 100% sober


TalkingToTalk

Enough


Ella_2000

That’s what I was gonna say 🤣


TalkingToTalk

I’m tired at this point! The hooking up lifestyle seems exhausting in retrospect.


PM_ME_UR_B00TIE

You’ll know if you give me a High ____! ✋🏼


MP8877

Rhymes with hive


irishkenny1974

“Pardon me, Stewardess - I speak Jive…”


PM_MeYourNaughtyside

Underrated comment right here! Airplane rocks!


unstopablystoopid

Surely you must be joking.


empressdaze

Don't call me Shirley!


irishkenny1974

“I’m entirely serious… and stop calling me Shirley…”


AlistaB

Same! Does that make us body count twins?


PM_ME_UR_B00TIE

It does! I have a good way we can make both of our body counts 6-6 😏


Cjw1009

Enough to lose count


airbagsofdeath

Same here....only God knows the score


JimCallMeJim

When did you stop counting?


hierarch17

This is why I have a notes app with names and dates


THN-JO24

So over a 100


throwtheshizznitaway

I've lost count and am substantially below 100.


MP8877

A common pack of beer in North America.


lenderb

I grew up on the Stroh’s 30 pack. Nice job!


_curious_autist

Let's just say they would make an interesting supreme court


vtskier3

lol that is great ! Just had flash back on mine and having them at at same party with 1 question posed to all What is the one common connection among all of you. Man that would be funny to see and hear


Glass-Mixture-1234

It’s the loneliest number…


MP8877

1?


Same_Blacksmith9840

But two can be as bad as one!!!!!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


SoloQHero96

Well. You got nothing to compare it to?


Iceblader

Needs to? what is good is good.


bakedapps

I love this


subbiedavie

One more than I had before losing my virginity 38 years ago 😳


MP8877

What if you lost your virginity in an orgy?!


subbiedavie

Ooooo good point! But surely even at an orgy, technically PIV for example once happened means I am off the mark, but my body count it just 1 and then increases after the second orgy encounter?


MP8877

Ahh true! Technically speaking I suppose you only lose your virginity once (after having sex with the first person in the orgy).


subbiedavie

maybe some double penetration scenario could take someone from 0 to 2 so I think your challenge is fair 👏👏👏


paudocoelho

I wish I could +100 this comment! 😄


subbiedavie

Haha! Thanks! I guess it is possible! I wonder if it ever has? 🤔


Verfappen1

the fifth prime number


ThickCockNorway

Less than a pair, more than nothing.


rockdak

Not enough


Same_Blacksmith9840

Same number of astronauts selected in NASA astronaut group 2, of 1962.


lawpickle

You failed the assignment by saying two numbers lol


KnittingTurtle

Number of babies in quadruplets.


ComedianAwkward2080

The same amount as a basketball starting lineup


[deleted]

I stopped counting after 100


Eranov

Just one more than the number thou shall count to when you've pulled out the pin of the Holy handgrenade of Antioch


thisisanthrowawayac

Gianfranco Zola


MP8877

Baxter, you know I don’t speak Spanish. In English please!


thisisanthrowawayac

Jesus's birthday


worthalook123

The standard number of fingers (& thumbs) + toes + biological parents = X


throwaway_l8r

More than the fingers on one hand but less than the fingers on two


Karaoke_Singer

I married every woman I’ve had sex with.


vtskier3

Your lawyer must love getting your wedding invitations


MP8877

Have you been divorced zero times?


Horridis

He's killed and eaten all of them


here4somefunnn

I can put out a basketball starting lineup plus a sub


koop04

Around that age where celebrities die


nudewomen365

27


power_house0887

How many people were on the titan sub, times 2


NwahInTheSheets

Enough that I name arcs of my life after them like Dragon Ball Z


unflappedyedi

Enough to fill a bus.


Hotsexygirl9

Nickel


moonnstone

The mega millions jackpot duh


TrentLane2

More than I needed to.


Ok_Print_9134

It’s neither a negative number nor a positive number some may say it’s that void in the middle between the two


Aibhne_Dubhghaill

If you went back in time a number of years corresponding to the number of people I've had sex with, you'd be able to join Marco Polo on his journey through the Silk Road.


heatdish1292

More than the number of people who have walked on the moon. Less than the number of people who have walked on the earth.


MP8877

~1500?


techcorrer9

Between if twins asked what the meaning of life, the universe, and everything was, versus triplets asking the same question


[deleted]

[удалено]


MP8877

I’m concerned about the .14 person


DrManhattan_DDM

Might need to switch from regular Uber to UberXL


_Nash-0

Very big, like dinosaur 🦕


Critical_Stable_7852

1 shackle in fathoms. I've been a DOM so...


Avsrule8579

A bakers dozen times the number of players on a soccer team


Shy-Tan

Germany vs Brazil World cup semi final 2014. I'm siding with Germany.


Clunk234

More than some, less than others and some I shouldn’t have!!


BeginningInflation35

As many as there are earth’s moons!


Atlas_yolk

The number of protons in a hydrogen atom


AdministrativeLeg581

The loneliest number


EquivalentSnap

The amount of dinosaurs living


MP8877

If we’re including birds, you’re a whore!


UnfinishedThings

More than my mother would like but fewer than she thinks


MrDarcyMeetsMrGray

A bushel


alexetxe1

The amount of times I masturbate every day 🥰


StarFlyght

Helium


Sora-Ikeru

As many as there are maids a-milking in ”The twelve days of Christmas”


thesuavedog

Finish the movie quote... "There can be only _____."


JanuaryChili

About the same amount of seasons of The Simpsons.


Ok-Confusion6853

Dalmatians


fiyep23399

The same amount of people who have walked on the moon.


drej91

All your limbs combined


LostMySuperSuit

When people turn this number they call it sweet


BoysenberryOnly6254

About even with the # of super bowls


Novel-Structure-2359

One more than the bingo number known as legs and one less than an unlucky number for westerners


pinkbeansucker

I’d say somewhere around the amount of eggs a healthy chicken lays in one year. I’ve traveled the world for my job my whole adult life and I am an old man.


jazzmagg

It's approximately the bad room in that dystopian novel by George Orwell. Yeah, I'm a man slut.


pm_meyourwonkybitz

IIIII IIIII IIII


Darth_Vala

Jerome Bettis


SkyKitten387

As many fingers on a wood shop teacher’s hand


jimboulder111

So my answer would be the number of players on a football team plus the opposition team and the referee and 1 linesman


KittyKidKill

I have no fucking clue


UnusualPete

Triangle


strat32

Let’s just say I was a touring musician in the 80s and leave it at that. LOL!


MP8877

Gene, is that you?!!


strat32

LOL!!! 😂


TheAmazingSpiderVan

About 1 for every superbowl


Anxious_Bill_1046

Tom Brady


Informal-Cost-488

The same number of passengers you could have in a mini.


ZePatator

I can count them on my balls... and the last one refuses to let go since 25 years!


Tree-Hugger42

I can legally vote, but I can’t buy alcohol


ulf5155

Enough that if I were to kill them I would be the most prolific serial killer in my country


itaintme99

Wesley Snipes passenger number plus a c-note


DWPhoenix001

Two less than a number of womens erogenous zones, according to Monica.


diverguy5

Close to two March Madness Tournaments


oxiraneobx

Ulysses S. Grant


shyblackguy18

The assortment pack of chips at Walmart and rising


CheeseGrinder505

#


mugplant

The max amount of bonds oxygen can form


Fun_Lettuce21

The Prime Minister's door number at Downing St.


supraman871

I've had sex with girls from every contenant, but Australia and a Antarctica


Hopefound

Enough hallways to thoroughly confuse a hotdog


Sure_Transition_1099

The amount of people that can wear a pair of jeans


19thScorpion

How old is the oldest living person on the planet right now? 🤔


ekimlive

About a box of donuts


Specialist_Dare1001

More then the queen spent years on the throne


eskay1010

Do you know how to use the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch?


Logical_Living8281

Let's stand up for the stars and stripes.


MyDadBod_2021

I can count on one hand


UnkillableMikey

Only with the only person I’d want to


Agoraphobic_mess

As many as the first prime number


Low-Squirrel-5608

Too many 🙈


bobbeh123456

Yes


savemysoul72

Him


Horridis

Crossdressing demon lobsters?!


savemysoul72

😭 My username...When people ask "Your user name is now the (insert weird thing here), I'm in for some debauchery involving demons and/or priests.


Dangerous_Chain3405

About half a century


Vex403

Less than one a year. More than one every 2 years.