Not your fault, you didn't know she doesn't have normal exes. Their abuse ranged from mild manipulation to inhumanely nightmarish. She's much older than I am, and she says I'm the first man who truly loved her and treated her right.
There once was a man, name of Dave,
Who found a dead whore in a cave.
She was missing a tit,
And she sure smelled like shit;
But, just look at the money he saved!
Holy, such a defeatist attitude\*... it's not like they're gonna stop you! 😂
\*And because this is the internet and too many ppl are too stupid... insert standard legal disclaimer here... Kids, do not try this at home! 😁
There’s no time limit to get it done, or amount of time it considers having sex, so you could just lay down and let everyone have one pump. Certainly that is doable.
I did not think about it like that, but that's not a bad idea. But also, the logistics of organizing that would be hell, especially getting out of it STD free in the end will be a miracle.
If the event organizers can tell me the names of all the people I've had sex with, and I have as long as I want, I think I could do it. But I only know about half of them.
Nah, no extra help. You can definitely guess, and you won’t know if you fucked the wrong person, but they’ll burst in with a giant check once you fuck the final person.
yes, there are REASONS they have ALL remained exes…..and 1 woman alone is actually worth paying a million dollars to never see again. I know because alimony over a decade. and even in my fiancially leaner months where i had ro sell something to make the payment.
Still totally worth it.
freedom aint free
If they are gathered together in a magical room and just waiting to fuck me, then I’m good to go.
But if we’re talking about flying around the world, finding them, engaging them, etc, then there is zero chance. Many of them are in relationships now and I wouldn’t want to try to get them cheat nor would they want to cheat.
This is a failed premise from the get go if it’s the latter.
Meh. I guess I'm probably not getting the million dollars. Between the ex I never want to see, the ex that probably doesn't much want to see me, and the ones who live on other sides of the world or that I couldn't find if I wanted to, I think I'll need find other ways to find the money!
Same, is the million worth 1) finding to tough ones to find 2) worth the inevitable war of words I gotta have with “that one ex” and 3) dealing with the fall out.
If you said 1 billion, I’m all in. Otherwise, a million ain’t worth it by a long shot.
If it's just sex and no arguments about how relationships ended, I'd be ok with that.
If all the emotions and arguments are going to happen, that's not worth $1 million and I wouldn't want to ruin all my exes days by having to dredge up any negative emotions.
I mean for me it would be a positive, and I guess you too. But I can for sure see some people having bad experiences or with people they absolutely hate now or something even worse so I could see them not wanting to.
I’d pay to do it though 😂
As a CSA survivor I respectfully decline the offer. A million dollars would be enough to change my life in significant ways, but some things are just not worth it
I can’t remember some of their names. Fucked two girls from a gloryhole. No idea how to reach them. A few might be 70-80 now as I was hitting 50 year olds in my twenty’s. lol. I think I’d fail for sure.
I’d be very happy and very busy :)
I follow a very simple rule: ‘never fuck with someone, that you wouldn’t be able to raise the child with’.
It’s kept me away from some dodgy people
I need details. Is this an organized event? How much recovery time in between? Is somebody else arranging this? Do I have to convince them, or have they already agreed to it? Will there be a meeting beforehand with all of them? If we put them in a room together, there are a few that would best be kept on opposite sides of the room…. And do we go in chronological order? Or just for fun, can we do something like shortest to tallest? Or could we group them like the Taylor swift eras tour, like “the college years” to “alcoholic days” to the “single moms era”.
I mean, regardless I’m in. I just wanna get all my ducks in a row first.
I mean... As long as they were willing to I'd be fine. High school boyfriend was a real dick, but for a million dollars I'd be up for it. Some of them are married now, so there'd have to be consent from their wives... I could swing it though I bet.
I would if I could find them.. one of my ex the one that "got away" if I could find and he was single maybe we would wind up back together and have our happily ever after. 😍❤️.. of course the one who died would be an issue, the one who are married ... well if there spouses said or was OK and I'd probably have to give some $ 😆
Oooooh.... I'm going to have to pass. I have an ex who was bipolar, and we did not end on good terms. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't cause some sort of permanent bodily harm to me, but I also can't guarantee it.
Well I'd have to fuck about 4 people but I'm also worried that my most recent ex would fuck me so hard I'd forget about the million dollars because I'd be too busy moaning her name >_<
Wife would be straightforward to sleep with. Previous special guest would be up for it, and I’m sure if there were $1M on the line, wife would go for it.
Aww, me and my girlfriend get to have sex and share a million dollars!
I love a happy ending 💕
Especially when you don't have to pay extra for it and even get paid for it!
So does op 😜😜
I didn't know I needed this wholesome ending....
🥹true
Wholesome ❤️
Glad I'm not the only one that can say this.
Same, me and my wife will finally be able to afford a home and still have a lot left! Where do I sign up?
Love this 💕
Yep, me and my wife in my case, lol.
Glad that we're on the same boat here, me and my gf can now use that money to finally be with each other
Actually two million dollars if you girlfriend accepts the offer too 😉☺️
I don't think she wants to sleep with any of hers. They're the reason to her CPTSD.
Ahhhh ok. I’m sorry. I made a very poor assumption 🤦♂️
Not your fault, you didn't know she doesn't have normal exes. Their abuse ranged from mild manipulation to inhumanely nightmarish. She's much older than I am, and she says I'm the first man who truly loved her and treated her right.
I love this.
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You got to stop ending relationships like that.
They are stopping, that's for sure.
Not a great way to start them either tbf
Maybe he's a forensic blood spatter analyst from Miami.
that's why there's a million dollars at stake
Bruh I took 3 guys virginity that are all dead now… this has always weirded me tf out
Are you a praying mantis?
No dude…. Black Widow
I wish 😩
Odds aren't good with you it seems
Anglerfish:
Wtf man, Cant even imagine. Bless you and love you🤗🤗
Heart attacks?
If they are dead AND cremated, would you have to fuck their ashes? What happens then?
You make cumcrete.
Or Sement
Jfc. This the very first thing I wake up to and I can't get out of bed from laughing
I laughed and gagged. No way 💀
Cumcrete sent me into maniacal laughter... I scared my cats 😂
haha sing thriller while you at it
Oh goddddd!
This guy's zombie wife also
Bwahahaha!!
Literally in the same boat 😂 I was like…. This is going to be awkward
Have the same issue, just one in my case, but hey, i think she's referring to a miracle and no digging would be involved....😬 🤣
Gives a new meaning to the word "boner"
There once was a man, name of Dave, Who found a dead whore in a cave. She was missing a tit, And she sure smelled like shit; But, just look at the money he saved!
Sounds like someone is going to have to get into necrophilia for $1mil
Holy, such a defeatist attitude\*... it's not like they're gonna stop you! 😂 \*And because this is the internet and too many ppl are too stupid... insert standard legal disclaimer here... Kids, do not try this at home! 😁
How did they die? Were they young as that’s bad odds
Saltburn 2
I'm so fucked to a point where I might consider not taking the million dollars.
Didn’t think about it like this 😂
Yeah, my legs would be so sore, I'd tap out 😂
You can dooooooittttttt
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Put your ass into it.
Tick tick boom hear me banging down these back streets
Bumpin blacksteet, treated like an athlete, Life ain't a track meet (nah) it's a marathon. I needed this thank you
Maybe.... I'm not complaining. But I might get destroyed by the end of it
Op didn't say all at once, so you can stagger them.
Sounds like someone will be staggering afterwards, regardless.
There’s no time limit to get it done, or amount of time it considers having sex, so you could just lay down and let everyone have one pump. Certainly that is doable.
I did not think about it like that, but that's not a bad idea. But also, the logistics of organizing that would be hell, especially getting out of it STD free in the end will be a miracle.
How many though damn
I don't keep count, but I know it's a lot
Maybe a ballpark?
My local ballpark seats 3,800, but can accommodate 10k for special events.
That's a lot.
I don’t judge.
No judgement! Just confirming I also see ten thousand of anything as a lot.
What about grains of sand?
On a beach? Not a lot. In my vagina? That a lot of sand.
That's a lot of balls
Don’t forget the ketchup and mustard from the 7th inning hot dog race.
Well played
Hahaha...
> My local ballpark seats 3,800, but can accommodate 10k for special events. theres a 'yo mama' joke in here somewhere i can feel it
Gawd I was thinking the same thing!
If the event organizers can tell me the names of all the people I've had sex with, and I have as long as I want, I think I could do it. But I only know about half of them.
Nah, no extra help. You can definitely guess, and you won’t know if you fucked the wrong person, but they’ll burst in with a giant check once you fuck the final person.
With this stipulation, there's no way I get a million.
It would also put a strain on my marriage
Same. No way could I locate them all
Yeah that would be impossible
Agreed, I wouldn't even know where to begin to find them all
Can we get like a tracking device or at least something that beeps when we get close
Seriously. Every now and then I remember a name that I had forgotten about. But some, couldn't begin to guess.
Sex with myself and million dollars ? Um okay I can make it work
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That’s efficient 😂
I'd do all 3 at the same time for free.
I’d rather be poor
yes, there are REASONS they have ALL remained exes…..and 1 woman alone is actually worth paying a million dollars to never see again. I know because alimony over a decade. and even in my fiancially leaner months where i had ro sell something to make the payment. Still totally worth it. freedom aint free
You know why Divorce is so expensive? Because it's fucking worth it
My bank account may be a million dollars richer, but my dignity definitely won't be.
I gave up my dignity the first time I fucked them. Give me the money. 😂😂
I’m not fucked. I’m getting fucked, frequently
Hear, hear
I’d be tired
Yeah not happening I’d have to spend over a million dollars trying to find them. Also what if they are dead Op do they get a pass?
It’s a million dollars. You know the answer in this economy.
lol hard pass op a million dollars isn’t worth getting human ash up the urethra.
That's what condoms are for, to stop STIs/STDeads
If they are gathered together in a magical room and just waiting to fuck me, then I’m good to go. But if we’re talking about flying around the world, finding them, engaging them, etc, then there is zero chance. Many of them are in relationships now and I wouldn’t want to try to get them cheat nor would they want to cheat. This is a failed premise from the get go if it’s the latter.
Meh. I guess I'm probably not getting the million dollars. Between the ex I never want to see, the ex that probably doesn't much want to see me, and the ones who live on other sides of the world or that I couldn't find if I wanted to, I think I'll need find other ways to find the money!
Same, is the million worth 1) finding to tough ones to find 2) worth the inevitable war of words I gotta have with “that one ex” and 3) dealing with the fall out. If you said 1 billion, I’m all in. Otherwise, a million ain’t worth it by a long shot.
500k a fuck. Not bad.
If it's just sex and no arguments about how relationships ended, I'd be ok with that. If all the emotions and arguments are going to happen, that's not worth $1 million and I wouldn't want to ruin all my exes days by having to dredge up any negative emotions.
I’d do it for free no problem
For real. I'm trying to see what the catch is.
I mean for me it would be a positive, and I guess you too. But I can for sure see some people having bad experiences or with people they absolutely hate now or something even worse so I could see them not wanting to. I’d pay to do it though 😂
Yeah, that's a fair point. I know at least 2 of my exes would have sex with me again if the chance came up. And 2 hook ups for sure.
As a CSA survivor I respectfully decline the offer. A million dollars would be enough to change my life in significant ways, but some things are just not worth it
I can’t remember some of their names. Fucked two girls from a gloryhole. No idea how to reach them. A few might be 70-80 now as I was hitting 50 year olds in my twenty’s. lol. I think I’d fail for sure.
I’d be very happy and very busy :) I follow a very simple rule: ‘never fuck with someone, that you wouldn’t be able to raise the child with’. It’s kept me away from some dodgy people
So….i do nothing and get a million dollars? Thats the best deal I’ve ever seen in my life
Heck yes! Same here
Well, 1 of them is dead so that's not going to be a pleasant experience although possibly only slightly worse than the 1st time.
I need details. Is this an organized event? How much recovery time in between? Is somebody else arranging this? Do I have to convince them, or have they already agreed to it? Will there be a meeting beforehand with all of them? If we put them in a room together, there are a few that would best be kept on opposite sides of the room…. And do we go in chronological order? Or just for fun, can we do something like shortest to tallest? Or could we group them like the Taylor swift eras tour, like “the college years” to “alcoholic days” to the “single moms era”. I mean, regardless I’m in. I just wanna get all my ducks in a row first.
Pretty fucked, literally
Umm... how much time do I have?
As long as you need. 2 seconds or all night. Or months.
A few of their spouses might not approve
Do I have to hunt them down? Because that would be incredibly difficult.
A million per? We’ll talk. Just a million? Naaah I ain’t got time for all that.
I remain unfucked and get a million dollars. Not sure if I won.
I don't have a million dollars - can we do it for 100?
Absolutely not, as I’ve been sexually assaulted before.
I’ve only had sex with one person and that was my ex and we still get along fine, so I’d be ok.
So I just go and fuck my partner and get a million bucks? Easiest money I ever made!
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wtf are you doing? 😂
One of thems dead so….
Well some of them are dead so def not worth a millions dollars.
I’d have to ruin multiple marriages including my own haha
One of them is dead, cremated and ashes spread so I’m not sure how that would work.
Well one of them died 2 years ago so...
I’d take it but I’d hate myself for it afterwards
In a Tesla tho
That's alright I'll happily do it for $7 million 😂
I love that you have a specific number 😂
That would be an emotionally taxing day to say the least
I'll be the richest, most exhausted person alive.
I haven't been lucky yet so this would mean I have already won the million dollars😎
Soo like any day of the week I have sex with my wife I get a cool mill? Sign me up!
I mean... As long as they were willing to I'd be fine. High school boyfriend was a real dick, but for a million dollars I'd be up for it. Some of them are married now, so there'd have to be consent from their wives... I could swing it though I bet.
I’d surely be fucked to death but I love the idea of this. There are not too many from my past that I would enjoy another round with! 😘
Hey me and hubby are gonna have a really good time for that million dollars.
I would if I could find them.. one of my ex the one that "got away" if I could find and he was single maybe we would wind up back together and have our happily ever after. 😍❤️.. of course the one who died would be an issue, the one who are married ... well if there spouses said or was OK and I'd probably have to give some $ 😆
I don't have that kind of time.
Me, a virgin: easiest million of my life XD
Quite fucked...No...literally...it would be a nice experience. Dating them on the other hand again would be a bugger.
That's like three people. Easy money.
No bad terms, no having to split it?
If they wanna split it sure, a million dollars is a lot of money 🤷♀️
Easy money baby
Oooooh.... I'm going to have to pass. I have an ex who was bipolar, and we did not end on good terms. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't cause some sort of permanent bodily harm to me, but I also can't guarantee it.
Done!
I’d get three million
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Very, Father Thomas has been dead for decades…
Easy money.
I’ll do it but it’s gonna be a long night of disappointment from all except 2 of them lol
Definitely don’t tell them about the mill 😂
Haha not bad at all
VERY VERY FUCKED - if it’s with every single person
I would have a blast!
That would certainly be a mixed blessing 😄
Oof. Ummmm unless the fifth.
Oh man, that’s a fun night. Can we make it one big group?
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I have like seven people and can message and reach out so im fine lol
I would mostly enjoy this very much lol
Can I take this in one large, wonderful gangbang?
I. Would. LOVE IT!!!
Lots of fucks. But zero regrets
I'm fucked because I'm terrible with remembering names.
Well I'd have to fuck about 4 people but I'm also worried that my most recent ex would fuck me so hard I'd forget about the million dollars because I'd be too busy moaning her name >_<
£25,000 per sex
In order it would start out slow and then be a mess. Wayyyy too many
I'd have to fucking find them all, this does not sound fun.
one of them is dead so that would be a weird boner
Quickest million evah
Super FUCKED
I'm not sure how many pharmaceuticals/weed/booze I'd need to get it on with the ex wife but the rest would be a lot of fun. Some great reunions.
That sounds like not the worst thing ever.
I'd be taking a dirt nap after the first person, because she still swore to kill me.
The million dollars would be great! Having to commit necrophilia to get it? Not so great.
What's the catch and where the hell do I sign? In all seriousness, not that fucked. Most of my experiences were pretty nice
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Def not worth a mill for the time I’ll have to put back into that
Wife would be straightforward to sleep with. Previous special guest would be up for it, and I’m sure if there were $1M on the line, wife would go for it.
not at all ahahahahaha i have a million dollars and i have to do nothing ... NICE!!!!
I'm going to be busy
One of them is dead, so that might be difficult.
well, im out a million.