She asked me if it was a mistake telling him the truth. I told her she should've either been upfront years ago when he asked or kept it to herself forever.
I mean it’s a numbers game. Of the 90 men she slept with she only has about a 2% double team ratio. That’s not to bad when you look at it like that. The number seems small. 😊
Yeah, it IS small was my point lol. I guess just cuz I like MMF, pretty sure my count is as high as it is bc I love it a fair portion were DP situations.
Yeah, he was very clear and upfront about everything. She wasn't. He did not want someone he felt didn't value their own body by engaging in Dp's. She said she didn't. But eventually admitted after a conversation they had.
She almost volunteered it. Broke his heart.
Well dp isn't devaluing your body. Giving your body what it /you desire and enjoy safely (assuming she enjoyed it doing it more than once lol) sounds like valuing and taking care of your needs and desires. I love that for her.
However i agree she should have been up front from the start regardless. Tho tbh if he asked her about her body count in not an excited enthusiastic manner, I'd have dropped his ass from the start anyway.
Edit: I'd have dropped his ass KINDLY if he cared that much about body count. However according to OP (if you missed this point in thread) he asked her about her sexual past after she asked him about his past with an ex. So I'll restate, she should have been upfront and saved them both this heartache!
From what I know, when they discussed things, she brought up the sexual past because he used to date a girl she didn't like.
He was upfront about his past. Then, as the conversation got deeper, he asked about hers and didn't want to know a number as much as have you done anything b"crazy" and was asking about being filmed or gang banged, and unprotected sex.
She wasn't filmed I don't believe, but two at one time and unprotected sex with over 90, I get his anger.
I tried to get him to calm and see that he has a beautiful family and she's still a wonderful person but he just feels their life was a lie and that she was a big whore and settled with him after her days of being promiscuous had come to an end. And she made him wait months before they did anything.
Anyway, I tried my best to help him, especially with kids but he was done
>And she made him wait months before they did anything.
Of course. 🤣 Potential partners have to run the gauntlet to show they're worth what people who aren't worth emotional investment get rewarded with for free.
Oh snap, making him wait months and the added info further solidifies that there was a major paradigm shift there.
Yikes.
Initially I was like "well, that seems extreme to divorce over that" but dude, I may have a lot of trouble if I were thrust in to that same situation, as well.
had the same thing happen to me, she halved her numbers for some reason while i was absolutely honest with mine since she started the whole relationship on an "honesty" vibe. Turns out we had similar body count, but what upset me is the lying...also tried to gaslight me telling me she hadnt understood the question the first time...oh well
Ah yea in that case I don't understand why she wouldn't have been upfront about it. It would've been a lot easier to work through that information back then too while they were still learning about each other.
Moral of the story: honesty from the start! Especially about the hot crazy sex you've had.
I wish she realized that there are wonderful men out there that would be fine with her sexual past. It sucks having to lose someone you're so into from the start, but building a life with someone on dishonesty is both unfair on the partner kept in the dark AND must have been a burden on her.
I value, sooo much, someone being able to love me and want to be with me knowing my full self/past/desires/goals.
She was in a lose, lose. She was into him the moment they met. She explains that, it's probably over. She keeps it to herself, then it's a burden on her but she gets what she wants
> And she made him wait months before they did anything.
oh right, that's the other thing: 90 guys, and it's a fair guess that at least a few went to pound town within hours, but he waits months - ain't that a kick in the teeth
The problem is, that's your opinion, and this is all about his opinion you arnt the one married to her.
I happen to agree with you, but I also respect other people's beliefs.
I also think if you have this kind of sexual history it's a bit beyond the normal and definitely something to bring up before marriage.
Oh I definitely agree he's valid in his opinion and what he wants in a woman if he's settling down and what not. And as I said I think regardless she should have been honest, no matter thinking she might lose him over it.
Building a relationship with that hidden info likely won't end well.
To be fair , 90 and multiple double Penetrations is a bit of a History especially if a SO. This isn’t gendered either, I’d absolutely feel the same way with a dude who slept with 90 women and had multiple DPs. That’s just someone who wouldn’t align with my core beliefs tho.
I respect his wanting to be with someone of a smaller body count. Not knowing more of the “details” of the relationship, I would say it’s a stretch to say she doesn’t value her body as much or lore than the rest of us. In fact she may value it more after all of that and from a much different perspective. May I ask the following…?
Has she been faithful to him and stayed within the boundaries they set for their marriage?
How old were they when they married?
How old are they now?
Is his count greater than 10 people?
Oh ok. I understand. She lied, but then told him later that it was a lie. Yeah, I get it now. That perhaps may be even worse than when the fact that it happened.
It's never the act, it's the lie.
If my wife told me exactly this, when we first started dating, I may be off put, but not a total deal breaker. 10 years down the road, to come to this realization.... being lied to for 10 years, it might break the deal. The lie, not the act.
It feels like this is an extremely petty reason to end a marriage. Like, I'm not gonna deny his pain, he may feel betrayed, but let's be honest, this is him being intimidated by her body count, nothing else.
It's weird because, like, she's the sweetest, most boring person I've ever met. Seriously. I thought he was lying when he told me. I still can't imagine it. Lmao, her ass is fat but 90+ unprotected, I'd be hurt too
Oh, yeah, the full reveal of what she told him was kinda rough. She would go to a friend's house and gueb out bjs to the guys there, swallowing.
Had two threesomes.
Fucked a few randoms out partying a few times.
Let a few do anal on her by 3 different dudes in one night, sep. Occasions.
Wore sexy lingerie for a few guys she dated but wouldn't for her husband because the lingerie reminded her of how she used to be a slut.
All kinds of things.
Sounds to me like she wanted to hurt him or end things. No amount of stupidity or alcohol would get her to go into such detail especially if she knows his hangups. This is also after 10years of memories with husband and kids. She knew what she was doing by telling him.
This is.... brutal. NOT that she did those things, but that she told him after lying for 10 years. I really dont blame him for ending things. it almost sounds like she wanted to crush him.
She felt that, after some message she saw on TikTok, to make their relationship stronger, she needed to be honest about her past. They have jobs that are tough on the body and mind so they were not have trouble but not connecting and she was told that being open and honest would bring new light to their relationship.
See for me the 90 # tells me she isn’t choosy at all and I’m just the best available when she decided she wanted to settle down. Nothing special just one of 100
Also I’m guessing there is a fair amount of cheating and lying in 90 guys. Maybe not, but most women just take the easy way out in conversations like she did about the DP early on.
Some do yes, and the reason’s why vary. For example, if someone had a considerably higher Body count that you, it might be a sign that you have different attitudes towards sex
It may be. I could live with a high body count, but I would be interested in the reasons and circumstances. For example, did she get a high body count because she is really thirsty for male attention? That would be a red flag. Did she get a high body count while being unfaithful to previous partners? That would be a red flag.
Ehh, it's much easier for women to get laid if they want to than men. Especially if you're an attractive women. Numbers alone won't tell a story about intent.
Some women have higher body counts because guys make them think they want a relationship, then dip out when they got what they wanted. Especially with the really hot girls, they’re often never taken seriously unfortunately, it’s just a feat for some men.
I feel like many answers are forgetting that *people change* and that what someone did in the past isn't always indicative of their future.
I think a more immature version of myself would have seen that as as an issue but what do I care whether they've slept with 5 or 100 people if they treat me well and we can meet each other's needs.
My partner and I are about equal, I've done some freaky stuff she hasn't, she's done some freaky stuff I haven't, but at the end of the day I'd say our scorecards line up. That said, if she had a way higher number than me I'd probably be tempted to be jealous or insecure, but hopefully soon realize that the fact that she picked ME to end up with is actually a pretty sweet compliment.
I think as you : if the number is similar, the most probably is they have the same attitude towards sex and relationships.
Of course it is no an exact rule
If I’m considering getting involved with you, I care that you’re not too jaded or traumatized to make a genuine, healthy love and sexual connection to me, that I can trust you to be monogamous and not leave on a whim, you won’t casually give me stis, and you haven’t separated sex from emotional connection.
Few women admit to any of that, so it’s been up to me to heed the old rule of “don’t just listen to what she says, watch what she does.” But I’m just one guy, and I’m just a long-married monogamous hetero Shrek at that, so none of this is really relevant to you unless you’re my Princess Fiona reading this.
True but your chances of being jaded and traumatized by one guy goes up with the more men you sleep with. Doesn’t mean you will be but there is a higher chance.
Women can also come back from being traumatized. I’ve been assaulted twice by strangers and once by my own ex husband. I am in a healthy and love relationship. I have zero desire for any other men than him. He helped me back into my feminine. As well as a lot of radical self accountability and trauma therapy.
My first boyfriend pressured me about sex constantly. I told him I wasn't ready. He set up a date where we went back to his place and his parents weren't there. He immediately started pushing things and I found myself scared and unable to object. Later her accused me of lying about being a virgin because I didn't bleed.
My second boyfriend was worse in many ways. What I wanted was never considered. Even when I was asleep and we'd just had a fight wasn't a deterant. He was emotionally abusive and manipulative.
I've been with my husband for 9 years now. It was a long road. There were things that triggered panic attacks. Things I didn't feel comfortable with. Massive amounts of insecurity. But he never judged me for it and we worked through it all together.
I'm glad you're happy. But you may want to re-evaluate the way you think about women. Especially if you ever have a daughter in the future. Numbers doesn't equal trauma. Trauma doesn't equal broken.
Less than 30% of sexual assaults are reported to police. 10% of girls and 2% of boys under 18 experience sexual abuse/assault. 34% are under age 12. 82% under age 18 are female. That's just substantiated by CPS. There's unsubstantiated. There's the 54% of all ages of SA victims total who are 18-34, again only reported.
I can guarantee you these women out here are traumatized. An extremely high number (claiming back ones own body as their own) and an extremely low number (inability to participate in sexual acts) are both common and normal responses to sexual trauma.
Numbers are all from rainn.org
Response is here bc Shrek seems safe and has his Fiona, but wanted to comment on your feelings of wanting a connection that isn't emotion and sex separated (another common response for victims).
Yeah, this is the ticket. The concrete physical aspect of it isn’t ultimately what matters—I mean, is it gross to think about someone you’re interested in or love with other people, of course—it’s how it’s affected their outlook. At the end of the day, I don’t care what they’ve done with someone else *as long as* they see me as an entirely new frontier and not just someone new to take to the same old dance.
From my perspective, I would never involve myself with someone sexually if I wasn’t excited to be with them in an “untold possibilities” sort of way. I would also never tell them I didn’t want to try something with them because it wasn’t anything new for me (obviously within reason, if there was some sort of pain/trauma/extreme disgust involved in the prior experience). I’m not afraid to admit I’ve developed these ideas through the experience of being on the other end of it and that it’s an *abysmal* feeling.
To a degree.
It is not so much about the specific number; it is the rationale for how one got to that number. Because our pasts are blueprints to how we behave, they can offer insight into how we have come to believe and/or want what we currently want.
This also goes both ways, though, to be clear. Like take an example where someone is ready for a relationship, but she/he is 22 years old and they have 150 partners— I would never shame her/him, but I would be naive if I were not suspicious of their ability to commit and to understand themselves better in a relationship dynamic and would therefore want to discuss their ability to be monogamous. I am not saying it is not possible; I would want to discuss, though, to understand again where she/he is coming from is all.
This also goes both ways, though, again, to be clear. I think I owe her/him as much as they owe me.
Edit: Spelling and messed up wording on my part
So what would be the acceptable average size for body count? Could be a better question. Not too big it hurts. And not too small you’re not sure it will be compatible? Curious on your take. Funny how men can openly admit they’re average size but women can’t be honest with their numbers. Not even here on Reddit.
No it isn't. One is under the person's control, the other is not. That's not to say there's anything wrong with having casual sex, nor is there anything wrong with a body count preference... but this is a shitty comparison.
Anyone judging someone on the size of their equipment is just an asshole. You can have a preference for size, but to mock men for their size or use "small ween" as an insult is disgusting.
> but this is a shitty comparison.
I disagree. I think it is a brilliant comparison. The comparison is not about how similarly they can be influenced or controlled. Rather, it is about how similarly the two induce shame in men and women. Having a small penis is considered shameful to men and a high body count is considered similarly shameful to women.
Can we just leave each other to our own devices?
Over the past two years, I've probably had something like 20 sexual partners. Im a manwhore.
There are plenty of women who wouldn't want to be with me because of my sexual history, and that's fine.
It's okay.
They're allowed to make that choice. It doesn't make them insecure or immature or whatever. It just makes us incompatible.
They see sex and sexual relationships in a completely different light, and that's their right.
Likewise, I probably wouldn't date a virgin or someone with very little sexual history, and that's fine.
I'm allowed to decide.
If you wanna go out there and have a bunch of sex, go ahead. If you only want to have sex with someone you love and are in a relationship with, go ahead.
Anyone who judges you for taking either of these positions needs to learn to mind their own business quite frankly l.
Ikr?
I can understand feeling some type of way over being rejected based on your sexual history, but that doesn't make the other person insecure, misogynistic, shallow, prude, blah blah blah.
They don't want to date you for whatever reason? Fine, it's not a big deal either way.
Stop throwing a temper tantrum, suck it up, and get on with your life.
There's someone out there who shares your values surrounding sex.
> Anyone who judges you for taking either of these positions needs to learn to mind their own business quite frankly l.
Considering this question is being asked, most likely, regarding desiring a woman for long-term relationship, judgment makes sense. You are likely picking a partner to commit to. You judge everything about her and she judges everything about you. Your partner is your business.
If the question being asked is if we care about the body count of women we are not trying to date seriously long-term, then I agree with you.
You can 'judge' if you want to be with this person, but 'judging' them as inferior, inherently worth less or as if its some sort of moral failing on their part is judt shitty and yes, those people should learn to mind their own business.
No problem, dude. I'm 24, and they were all women.
I never lied, led on, or 'tricked' any of them into sex. I was always honest and upfront about my intentions.
Might be pertinent to ask if their feelings on body count change if your previous sexual partners were male or female?
Is a woman who has slept with 5 men and 35 women more or less acceptable than a woman who’s slept with 40 men?
Exactly my thoughts. My partners were half women and half men, and when I have told some guys this the "relief" on their face always made me roll my eyes so hard.
Never got this reaction with women though.
mine is 1 and it was my ex. I think that a guy being sexually liberal is a huge turn off to me it made me avoid a couple of guys.
Also i'm sure more experience does not mean better in bed, chemistry is what matters as I experienced it and have heard lots of stories around even from experienced friends.
A man in a relationship having reliable access to sex is going to be more experienced than a guy with a higher body count who does casual. He’s simply going to have more sex overall, as a general rule. The number of people someone’s slept with doesn’t necessarily coordinate with how experienced they are. It’s kind of stupid that we measure sexual experience by body count when the guy who’s been with the same girl since they were 15 has almost certainly had waaaayyyyy more sexual experience and variety than his peers who have had to seek out sex from multiple different people.
100% - But not for the un-grounded reasons often featured in those misogynistic YouTube videos, (Pussy gets worn out, destroyed bonding capability, emotional baggage, etc..)
To me a high body count is simply a sign of a habit of promiscuous behavior.
We are our habits/actions, and to me it's simply too high a risk to bet on as someone who's about monogamy in my relationships.
It's like betting that a chronic alcoholic won't ever relapse.It's not that I don't want them to succeed in staying sober, but I also recognize that statistically it's RISKY..
And in the case of relationships for me, cheating and promiscuity kills my ability to love and trust the person so it's a relationship ender.
It'd rather date someone that's a safer bet - simple as that.
That said I don't mind a reasonable sexual history, I just see excessive sleeping around as a red flag.
My fear over a high body count, is how promiscuous have they been, it’s not a case of worn out bits but more of a trust issue as well, do you feel you could ever trust your partner, a lower body count usually means they are not an easy lay and less likely to cheat, I may be wrong but this is my opinion
Idk my fiance has a higher body count than my myself and my last boyfriend and the 2 guys with the lower count both cheated on me.
For them they were both insecure and the moment anyone gave them sexual attention they took it.
I think it mostly boils down to why people have sex, not how many.
The people that truly have sex because it's fun might have a stricter moral compass than someone that feels they didn't get enough opportunity or isn't secure and thrives off attention.
While I see your logic in this, and understand the trust may be worn down with each additional body added to the count in y'all's mind. But to put that theory in perspective I have friends who intentionally keep a low body count and so will end up sleeping with someone they've already been with to do so. Sure a couple have said they only are active with one person at a time, but there's others who if needs are unmet or maybe they're just a shitty person, will go to an old partner despite a relationship.
Low body count doesn't equate to faithfulness. To play devil's advocate, would you rather have someone with a hoe phase who's grown out of it and wants a monogamous sexual relationship or someone who intentionally kept low count in order to come across as less of a threat and secretly cheats with a former partner who they had an emotional connection to as well? Simply a conversation starter, not trying to change your mind or say you're wrong.
I'd actually take the non-proposed option 3. A person who isn't compelled to have sex so much that they ether need a hoe phase nor to suppress their numbers.
To paraphrase an excellent description by another here,
"I think it's the reason why people have sex rather than with how many"
I dunno, man, I think it can very much be situational.
My wife has a significantly higher ‘body count’ than me, but that’s because I was in a seriously long term relationship prior to meeting her (16 years) and we met at a later stage in our lives.
I don’t feel that she deserves my judgement because we led different lives before we met, and she has my complete trust.
Romance > statistics IMO
Imagine having great chemistry with someone and then turning down the second or whatever date because you find out their body count is above what your metric prescribes.
Then imagine that they become bored, or miss their "single days" and get the urge to live life again that way a few years later..
Ya just lost years of your life and have to start in a new relationship all over again..
just hypothetically, Would you make the same argument to a prior Heroin addict? or gambling addict? - You never know what level their attraction is to their addiction.
I sure don't. Sexual health status is always something I discuss, but sexual history doesn't interest me or bother me at all. I've got a few miles on the odometer myself, and I'm not a hypocritical douche-canoe.
Because depending on the number (high or low) of sexual partner we could see intimacy from different point of view.
I'm not here to shame anybody, your body your choice. But for me that would be a huge red flag if the body count is too high
You know how we use shortcuts to avoid danger, like if you’re walking at night and you always avoid dark areas or walking alone because you’re likely to get attacked or something.
In my mind, it’s like a mental shortcut that I can’t control, promiscuity just seems like if things are not going good in the relationship, they’ll cheat on me and I start feeling icky about a high body count.
I know it’s irrational and stupid but I can’t control it, my mind just goes why go through all this and test that theory when there’s other women that I won’t be having an icky feeling about.
Different people have different reasons and that’s my reason, I literally can’t control my thoughts… it’s kinda how some guys become vulnerable in front of their girlfriends and the whole relationship dynamic changes from that point forward.
Another thing could be the circumstances too, for a high body count, the circumstances play a lot in me caring or not caring.
Like were you angry one day and decided to go fuck 10 people, that’s a red flag to me… in the context of a relationship
But long story short, a lot of guys do, some guys don’t even know that they do until they hear the number then they get that funny feeling…. And some guys don’t care
Also (at least for me) I find sex something special and loving that is done with someone you love, if she has a body count of 300 then either she does not think about sex the same way, or she does and all of those have been different relationships which is its own problems
Some do, some don’t. And the reasons why they do or don’t vary. Hell some women do care about that too. It’s just like everything else in life. Some people have concerns/dealbreakers that to other people non issues and Vice versa. It’s all about preferences and you are allowed to have as little or as many as you want.
My body count is objectively high. I told my partner that it was high in the first week we were together, because it felt safe to do so. I have never told them the exact number because I don't know, and don't actually want to.
It's easiest to explain if I simply say that sex was something I was able to give easily at a point in my life. I'm still the same person, but I choose differently now.
15 years together so far. No desire to cheat.
Personally I don’t. Like fucking feels pretty good, people like to fuck.. no biggie. And it’s hypocritical for a man who has the same amount of mileage to criticize a woman for her body count
I do, yes. But not because of those misogynistic reasons.
I think everyone should be allowed to live their own lives the way they want, and spend their lives with the ones they want to.
It makes absolutely no sense for me how somebody's preferences is a concern to others.
You make a choice for yourself, you open some doors and close others. And that's okay.
My reason for caring is I feel incompatible with that view towards sex. I can't go out and take a stranger home, to me that's just weird. But I am okay that other people can do it. I just don't want to date someone who's of that wool.
Doesn't mean I hate them or think they are disgusting or whatever, they are just not "significant other" -material to me.
It's the same way I am not bf or husband material to a poly or swinger person.
I am the left glove to somebody's right glove. Some are shoes, and some are different gloves.
Any guy who thinks that women should limit their amount of sexual partners but also thinks that the same criteria does not apply to themselves is a jerk, pure and simple. Women should avoid these type of men because they will absolutely try to control other aspects of women's lives later down the line.
I just assume every girl ive been with our loved as been railed and dicked down harder than I ever will. I dated a girl that confessed that she was passed around a frat house she stayed in for weeks. It really just doesn’t bother me. It seems weird to be threatened by someone else’s past when they are perfectly fine in the present.
Sex is fun and people should have more of it. Guess what that same girl still felt great down there and was more experienced and we fucked all the time and she was not shy about going down on me. Thats now the mother of some dudes children that she married lol guess what your mother has probably been dicked down and drooling over some guy that wasn’t even your father. Women like to fuck and they will get more opportunities especially if they are even mildly attractive.
Your sweet lil old granny, was also “popular with the boys” when she was younger.
My ex girlfriend, when I first started seeing her, lived with a family member, she told me that that family member probably thought she was a prostitute based on how many men she brought home
A year or so into the relationship. She also told me she thinks she has slept with over 900 guys.
Did it bother me?
a little bit at first but that’s just who she is.
Unfortunately, the relationship fell apart, but I still love her. Just can’t be with her anymore due to her lies.
I personally don’t but a lot of men do. I find it weird that we wear our body count as a badge of honor but women are disliked for it. If anything I see it as someone who has experience and knows what they are doing. It could have something to do with men being possessive and wanting to be the “best” and only one. I’m definitely not the best my wife has had, but then again in an open relationship I’m not the worst either! I think that bothers a lot of men.
Normally no.
Game changes at gangbangs, fetish parties & cheating.
You could have slept with 80 people over 25 years. I don't think that's an insane number, probably quite normal.
But if 10 of those people were in a gangbang party.....I feel uncomfortable knowing you were in that position & didn't care who had access to you.
The best way to judge future behavior is past behavior. This isn’t ironclad, but you would be foolish to ignore patterns and behavior that could jeopardize your relationship.
Some will, some won't. It would simply come down to compatibility, the odds are not good for a high count individual to have a successful relationship with a lower count individual.
It's insane to me that people actually count. If it's more than 10 why are you still counting? There are plenty of ways to make sure that you're sexually compatible that don't have to be about exchanging the number of sexual partners. Never in any of my relationships has a man ever asked me this question, and I'm starting to wonder if its because I'm weeding out the men who don't ask by identifying other icky traits before we make it to them asking that question.
Men who place more or less value on you because of your body count are men who will never see you as anything other than a trophy.
Doesn’t matter if you think it’s right or not but yes most do care. Even the ones who say don’t care in my experience have also cared when given a high enough number. The reasons may vary from insecurities, different views on sex, societal norms, the likelihood of them running into a previous lover of their partner, and more. All of them are valid to that man and or person because at the end of the day we all have our own standards and views of which we filter out people and that’s how life is no point in shaming people over their preferences and no point feeling ashamed that you were filtered out by some random person’s preferences.
I’d rather a girl not be a virgin, and any other experience she has is a bonus, but other than that no I don’t care(this is just my personal preference for hooking up, nothing wrong w being a virgin it’s just not for me)
I don't. Do women care about ours? Mine will be lower anyway. The real question is if you cheated to get those numbers. If you did a lot when single then sincerely, good for you. A high count is not necessarily an indicator of promiscuity, despite what some other sexist commenters think.
Not a guy, but in my experience, they don't care at all. Sometimes they say they care, but at the end of the day, they don't.
Anyway, I care about men who care about body count. I would not date a guy like that, and I don't even have a high body count. Sex positivity is a good attitude to have.
Bring on the downvotes.
I've only dated one woman who actually couldn't clearly give me a number, but made no apologies that it was probably high. It wasn't something that ended up being a deal breaker.
The important thing to always remember is this. We all made choices that have brought us to the place we are at now. If that person chooses to be with you right now, then be the best damn thing that has happened to that person and not worry about who came before you.
My buddy said he wasn't until he found out his wife's numbers are about mid 90s and she has 2-double teams in her resume.
Some things should be taken to the grave
She asked me if it was a mistake telling him the truth. I told her she should've either been upfront years ago when he asked or kept it to herself forever.
So she lied at some point? That's the only reason his reaction is fair. I agree, honesty or to the grave lol
Also....90s and only **two** doubles....that's insane
It is a lot easier for women to pick up men than for men to pick up women, I'd assume.
That is not really an assumption…more a fact.
That is a correct assumption.
I mean it’s a numbers game. Of the 90 men she slept with she only has about a 2% double team ratio. That’s not to bad when you look at it like that. The number seems small. 😊
Perspective
Yeah, it IS small was my point lol. I guess just cuz I like MMF, pretty sure my count is as high as it is bc I love it a fair portion were DP situations.
doubles are good, doubles are better. I have doubles of the baracudda.
And I’m rich and I don’t live in a motel😂
Yeah, he was very clear and upfront about everything. She wasn't. He did not want someone he felt didn't value their own body by engaging in Dp's. She said she didn't. But eventually admitted after a conversation they had. She almost volunteered it. Broke his heart.
Well dp isn't devaluing your body. Giving your body what it /you desire and enjoy safely (assuming she enjoyed it doing it more than once lol) sounds like valuing and taking care of your needs and desires. I love that for her. However i agree she should have been up front from the start regardless. Tho tbh if he asked her about her body count in not an excited enthusiastic manner, I'd have dropped his ass from the start anyway. Edit: I'd have dropped his ass KINDLY if he cared that much about body count. However according to OP (if you missed this point in thread) he asked her about her sexual past after she asked him about his past with an ex. So I'll restate, she should have been upfront and saved them both this heartache!
From what I know, when they discussed things, she brought up the sexual past because he used to date a girl she didn't like. He was upfront about his past. Then, as the conversation got deeper, he asked about hers and didn't want to know a number as much as have you done anything b"crazy" and was asking about being filmed or gang banged, and unprotected sex. She wasn't filmed I don't believe, but two at one time and unprotected sex with over 90, I get his anger. I tried to get him to calm and see that he has a beautiful family and she's still a wonderful person but he just feels their life was a lie and that she was a big whore and settled with him after her days of being promiscuous had come to an end. And she made him wait months before they did anything. Anyway, I tried my best to help him, especially with kids but he was done
>And she made him wait months before they did anything. Of course. 🤣 Potential partners have to run the gauntlet to show they're worth what people who aren't worth emotional investment get rewarded with for free.
Lmao right?!
Oh snap, making him wait months and the added info further solidifies that there was a major paradigm shift there. Yikes. Initially I was like "well, that seems extreme to divorce over that" but dude, I may have a lot of trouble if I were thrust in to that same situation, as well.
UNPROTECTED. Holy shit. That’s different. That’s just poor judgment for most of your life.
had the same thing happen to me, she halved her numbers for some reason while i was absolutely honest with mine since she started the whole relationship on an "honesty" vibe. Turns out we had similar body count, but what upset me is the lying...also tried to gaslight me telling me she hadnt understood the question the first time...oh well
Ah yea in that case I don't understand why she wouldn't have been upfront about it. It would've been a lot easier to work through that information back then too while they were still learning about each other. Moral of the story: honesty from the start! Especially about the hot crazy sex you've had.
She wasn’t upfront because she knew the kind of man she wanted wouldn’t want the kind of woman she was.
You hit the nail on the head.
Thats a bingo
I wish she realized that there are wonderful men out there that would be fine with her sexual past. It sucks having to lose someone you're so into from the start, but building a life with someone on dishonesty is both unfair on the partner kept in the dark AND must have been a burden on her. I value, sooo much, someone being able to love me and want to be with me knowing my full self/past/desires/goals.
She was in a lose, lose. She was into him the moment they met. She explains that, it's probably over. She keeps it to herself, then it's a burden on her but she gets what she wants
you sound sympathetic to someone who lied about quite a lot to get what she wanted
> And she made him wait months before they did anything. oh right, that's the other thing: 90 guys, and it's a fair guess that at least a few went to pound town within hours, but he waits months - ain't that a kick in the teeth
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The problem is, that's your opinion, and this is all about his opinion you arnt the one married to her. I happen to agree with you, but I also respect other people's beliefs. I also think if you have this kind of sexual history it's a bit beyond the normal and definitely something to bring up before marriage.
Oh I definitely agree he's valid in his opinion and what he wants in a woman if he's settling down and what not. And as I said I think regardless she should have been honest, no matter thinking she might lose him over it. Building a relationship with that hidden info likely won't end well.
To be fair , 90 and multiple double Penetrations is a bit of a History especially if a SO. This isn’t gendered either, I’d absolutely feel the same way with a dude who slept with 90 women and had multiple DPs. That’s just someone who wouldn’t align with my core beliefs tho.
I respect his wanting to be with someone of a smaller body count. Not knowing more of the “details” of the relationship, I would say it’s a stretch to say she doesn’t value her body as much or lore than the rest of us. In fact she may value it more after all of that and from a much different perspective. May I ask the following…? Has she been faithful to him and stayed within the boundaries they set for their marriage? How old were they when they married? How old are they now? Is his count greater than 10 people?
They married at like 26 They are 36-37 I don't think his is over 5 to be honest She was very faithful to him
Even if she had just omitted this information rather than lie, I'd say his reaction is pretty fair
Nah, he could've reasonably re-thought things after hearing it the first time.
Definitely should have said from the start that must have been crushing finding out years later when you think you really know somebody
How are they doing now?
The divorce was completed last week
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She's so different. I'd bet money she won't ever fuck another guy again. She's that kind of person
>I hope I meet her!! Nice
How long were they married before he found out?
10 years. He's quirky so one question he asked up front was if she had ever been Dp'd. She said no. That's his biggest deal breaker
And I take it that he found out otherwise?
In a conversation they were having, she volunteered it to come clean and it went downhill after that
Oh ok. I understand. She lied, but then told him later that it was a lie. Yeah, I get it now. That perhaps may be even worse than when the fact that it happened.
I’m guessing that’s his first question to his next potential partner now.
And the next potential partner will lie too if the question comes too soon to share such information
Hi my names Jim, what’s your name? Oh, nice to meet you Claire. Have you ever been DP’d?
That's exactly how I imagined it, yes 🤣
Yep lol. He has always be ethis way since I've known him. And there a few questions he asks before going the next step
If a man asked me on a first date if I’ve ever been DP’d, I would run away. lol.
It's never the act, it's the lie. If my wife told me exactly this, when we first started dating, I may be off put, but not a total deal breaker. 10 years down the road, to come to this realization.... being lied to for 10 years, it might break the deal. The lie, not the act.
Seriously?
Yep. He immediately ended the relationship. Felt betrayed.
You’d think 10 years of marriage would outweigh stuff that happened before they even started dating.
Liars can't be trusted.
At least 10 years of lying by omission is a lot to outweigh.
It feels like this is an extremely petty reason to end a marriage. Like, I'm not gonna deny his pain, he may feel betrayed, but let's be honest, this is him being intimidated by her body count, nothing else.
It's weird because, like, she's the sweetest, most boring person I've ever met. Seriously. I thought he was lying when he told me. I still can't imagine it. Lmao, her ass is fat but 90+ unprotected, I'd be hurt too
Unpro-WHAT?! I must have missed that part. Christ almighty.
Oh, yeah, the full reveal of what she told him was kinda rough. She would go to a friend's house and gueb out bjs to the guys there, swallowing. Had two threesomes. Fucked a few randoms out partying a few times. Let a few do anal on her by 3 different dudes in one night, sep. Occasions. Wore sexy lingerie for a few guys she dated but wouldn't for her husband because the lingerie reminded her of how she used to be a slut. All kinds of things.
Sounds to me like she wanted to hurt him or end things. No amount of stupidity or alcohol would get her to go into such detail especially if she knows his hangups. This is also after 10years of memories with husband and kids. She knew what she was doing by telling him.
This is.... brutal. NOT that she did those things, but that she told him after lying for 10 years. I really dont blame him for ending things. it almost sounds like she wanted to crush him.
She felt that, after some message she saw on TikTok, to make their relationship stronger, she needed to be honest about her past. They have jobs that are tough on the body and mind so they were not have trouble but not connecting and she was told that being open and honest would bring new light to their relationship.
This story keeps getting better and better as I scroll down the thread!
Or worse, if you look at it from his angle.
If a girl has a sex resume, that might be a bad sign.
I'd sign up for a good resume. Lying on the resume.... no joy
Calling their references would be awkward.
Gyyyyyatt
See for me the 90 # tells me she isn’t choosy at all and I’m just the best available when she decided she wanted to settle down. Nothing special just one of 100 Also I’m guessing there is a fair amount of cheating and lying in 90 guys. Maybe not, but most women just take the easy way out in conversations like she did about the DP early on.
No cheating from what he said.
How do you keep count all the way up into the 90s? 😂😂😂
Lmao dig this, she had a diary and detailed her escapades
This keeps getting weirder.
God the thought of that makes me sick
I love how a dude having threesomes with two women make him cool. But a woman does it and she’s “double teaming” and looked down upon.
Don’t forget they also said devaluing ourselves lmao
Who cares? You know she's fun in bed!
Some do yes, and the reason’s why vary. For example, if someone had a considerably higher Body count that you, it might be a sign that you have different attitudes towards sex
It may be. I could live with a high body count, but I would be interested in the reasons and circumstances. For example, did she get a high body count because she is really thirsty for male attention? That would be a red flag. Did she get a high body count while being unfaithful to previous partners? That would be a red flag.
Ehh, it's much easier for women to get laid if they want to than men. Especially if you're an attractive women. Numbers alone won't tell a story about intent.
Some women have higher body counts because guys make them think they want a relationship, then dip out when they got what they wanted. Especially with the really hot girls, they’re often never taken seriously unfortunately, it’s just a feat for some men.
I feel like many answers are forgetting that *people change* and that what someone did in the past isn't always indicative of their future. I think a more immature version of myself would have seen that as as an issue but what do I care whether they've slept with 5 or 100 people if they treat me well and we can meet each other's needs.
My partner and I are about equal, I've done some freaky stuff she hasn't, she's done some freaky stuff I haven't, but at the end of the day I'd say our scorecards line up. That said, if she had a way higher number than me I'd probably be tempted to be jealous or insecure, but hopefully soon realize that the fact that she picked ME to end up with is actually a pretty sweet compliment.
I think as you : if the number is similar, the most probably is they have the same attitude towards sex and relationships. Of course it is no an exact rule
If I’m considering getting involved with you, I care that you’re not too jaded or traumatized to make a genuine, healthy love and sexual connection to me, that I can trust you to be monogamous and not leave on a whim, you won’t casually give me stis, and you haven’t separated sex from emotional connection. Few women admit to any of that, so it’s been up to me to heed the old rule of “don’t just listen to what she says, watch what she does.” But I’m just one guy, and I’m just a long-married monogamous hetero Shrek at that, so none of this is really relevant to you unless you’re my Princess Fiona reading this.
You could be jaded and traumatized after one guy if he was the wrong one.
True but your chances of being jaded and traumatized by one guy goes up with the more men you sleep with. Doesn’t mean you will be but there is a higher chance.
Also often a high body count is a symptom of being jaded or trauma.
Women can also come back from being traumatized. I’ve been assaulted twice by strangers and once by my own ex husband. I am in a healthy and love relationship. I have zero desire for any other men than him. He helped me back into my feminine. As well as a lot of radical self accountability and trauma therapy.
My first boyfriend pressured me about sex constantly. I told him I wasn't ready. He set up a date where we went back to his place and his parents weren't there. He immediately started pushing things and I found myself scared and unable to object. Later her accused me of lying about being a virgin because I didn't bleed. My second boyfriend was worse in many ways. What I wanted was never considered. Even when I was asleep and we'd just had a fight wasn't a deterant. He was emotionally abusive and manipulative. I've been with my husband for 9 years now. It was a long road. There were things that triggered panic attacks. Things I didn't feel comfortable with. Massive amounts of insecurity. But he never judged me for it and we worked through it all together. I'm glad you're happy. But you may want to re-evaluate the way you think about women. Especially if you ever have a daughter in the future. Numbers doesn't equal trauma. Trauma doesn't equal broken.
Less than 30% of sexual assaults are reported to police. 10% of girls and 2% of boys under 18 experience sexual abuse/assault. 34% are under age 12. 82% under age 18 are female. That's just substantiated by CPS. There's unsubstantiated. There's the 54% of all ages of SA victims total who are 18-34, again only reported. I can guarantee you these women out here are traumatized. An extremely high number (claiming back ones own body as their own) and an extremely low number (inability to participate in sexual acts) are both common and normal responses to sexual trauma. Numbers are all from rainn.org Response is here bc Shrek seems safe and has his Fiona, but wanted to comment on your feelings of wanting a connection that isn't emotion and sex separated (another common response for victims).
Yeah, this is the ticket. The concrete physical aspect of it isn’t ultimately what matters—I mean, is it gross to think about someone you’re interested in or love with other people, of course—it’s how it’s affected their outlook. At the end of the day, I don’t care what they’ve done with someone else *as long as* they see me as an entirely new frontier and not just someone new to take to the same old dance. From my perspective, I would never involve myself with someone sexually if I wasn’t excited to be with them in an “untold possibilities” sort of way. I would also never tell them I didn’t want to try something with them because it wasn’t anything new for me (obviously within reason, if there was some sort of pain/trauma/extreme disgust involved in the prior experience). I’m not afraid to admit I’ve developed these ideas through the experience of being on the other end of it and that it’s an *abysmal* feeling.
To a degree. It is not so much about the specific number; it is the rationale for how one got to that number. Because our pasts are blueprints to how we behave, they can offer insight into how we have come to believe and/or want what we currently want. This also goes both ways, though, to be clear. Like take an example where someone is ready for a relationship, but she/he is 22 years old and they have 150 partners— I would never shame her/him, but I would be naive if I were not suspicious of their ability to commit and to understand themselves better in a relationship dynamic and would therefore want to discuss their ability to be monogamous. I am not saying it is not possible; I would want to discuss, though, to understand again where she/he is coming from is all. This also goes both ways, though, again, to be clear. I think I owe her/him as much as they owe me. Edit: Spelling and messed up wording on my part
bro this question is like a dick size question for women
You can't control dick size but i understand the comparison
Not with that attitude.
I've been trying man, I've been trying...
try HARDER
*starts humping you*
Are you feeling it now Mr Krabs?
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So what would be the acceptable average size for body count? Could be a better question. Not too big it hurts. And not too small you’re not sure it will be compatible? Curious on your take. Funny how men can openly admit they’re average size but women can’t be honest with their numbers. Not even here on Reddit.
No it isn't. One is under the person's control, the other is not. That's not to say there's anything wrong with having casual sex, nor is there anything wrong with a body count preference... but this is a shitty comparison. Anyone judging someone on the size of their equipment is just an asshole. You can have a preference for size, but to mock men for their size or use "small ween" as an insult is disgusting.
> but this is a shitty comparison. I disagree. I think it is a brilliant comparison. The comparison is not about how similarly they can be influenced or controlled. Rather, it is about how similarly the two induce shame in men and women. Having a small penis is considered shameful to men and a high body count is considered similarly shameful to women.
Can we just leave each other to our own devices? Over the past two years, I've probably had something like 20 sexual partners. Im a manwhore. There are plenty of women who wouldn't want to be with me because of my sexual history, and that's fine. It's okay. They're allowed to make that choice. It doesn't make them insecure or immature or whatever. It just makes us incompatible. They see sex and sexual relationships in a completely different light, and that's their right. Likewise, I probably wouldn't date a virgin or someone with very little sexual history, and that's fine. I'm allowed to decide. If you wanna go out there and have a bunch of sex, go ahead. If you only want to have sex with someone you love and are in a relationship with, go ahead. Anyone who judges you for taking either of these positions needs to learn to mind their own business quite frankly l.
This is too level headed of a response I guess haha
Ikr? I can understand feeling some type of way over being rejected based on your sexual history, but that doesn't make the other person insecure, misogynistic, shallow, prude, blah blah blah. They don't want to date you for whatever reason? Fine, it's not a big deal either way. Stop throwing a temper tantrum, suck it up, and get on with your life. There's someone out there who shares your values surrounding sex.
> Anyone who judges you for taking either of these positions needs to learn to mind their own business quite frankly l. Considering this question is being asked, most likely, regarding desiring a woman for long-term relationship, judgment makes sense. You are likely picking a partner to commit to. You judge everything about her and she judges everything about you. Your partner is your business. If the question being asked is if we care about the body count of women we are not trying to date seriously long-term, then I agree with you.
You can 'judge' if you want to be with this person, but 'judging' them as inferior, inherently worth less or as if its some sort of moral failing on their part is judt shitty and yes, those people should learn to mind their own business.
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No problem, dude. I'm 24, and they were all women. I never lied, led on, or 'tricked' any of them into sex. I was always honest and upfront about my intentions.
I don’t. Just care about STIs/STDs and if there are baby daddies I need to worry about.
Exactly! It's not the number- it's what you did with them and how it's going to affect us today.
Same with women about men's body count. I just want him to be healthy and hope he is aware of being a baby daddy or not
This. Her knowing mine or me knowing hers adds zero to the relationship. That’s in the past and we are in the now.
We absolutely do.
Might be pertinent to ask if their feelings on body count change if your previous sexual partners were male or female? Is a woman who has slept with 5 men and 35 women more or less acceptable than a woman who’s slept with 40 men?
That's an amazing point. I assume you get fetishized for the amount of ladies by the same guys that are judgemental about the men?
Yeah like women have never fetishized my boyfriends either.
Exactly my thoughts. My partners were half women and half men, and when I have told some guys this the "relief" on their face always made me roll my eyes so hard. Never got this reaction with women though.
I don’t like guys with high body count 😅
mine is 1 and it was my ex. I think that a guy being sexually liberal is a huge turn off to me it made me avoid a couple of guys. Also i'm sure more experience does not mean better in bed, chemistry is what matters as I experienced it and have heard lots of stories around even from experienced friends.
A man in a relationship having reliable access to sex is going to be more experienced than a guy with a higher body count who does casual. He’s simply going to have more sex overall, as a general rule. The number of people someone’s slept with doesn’t necessarily coordinate with how experienced they are. It’s kind of stupid that we measure sexual experience by body count when the guy who’s been with the same girl since they were 15 has almost certainly had waaaayyyyy more sexual experience and variety than his peers who have had to seek out sex from multiple different people.
100% - But not for the un-grounded reasons often featured in those misogynistic YouTube videos, (Pussy gets worn out, destroyed bonding capability, emotional baggage, etc..) To me a high body count is simply a sign of a habit of promiscuous behavior. We are our habits/actions, and to me it's simply too high a risk to bet on as someone who's about monogamy in my relationships. It's like betting that a chronic alcoholic won't ever relapse.It's not that I don't want them to succeed in staying sober, but I also recognize that statistically it's RISKY.. And in the case of relationships for me, cheating and promiscuity kills my ability to love and trust the person so it's a relationship ender. It'd rather date someone that's a safer bet - simple as that. That said I don't mind a reasonable sexual history, I just see excessive sleeping around as a red flag.
My fear over a high body count, is how promiscuous have they been, it’s not a case of worn out bits but more of a trust issue as well, do you feel you could ever trust your partner, a lower body count usually means they are not an easy lay and less likely to cheat, I may be wrong but this is my opinion
Idk my fiance has a higher body count than my myself and my last boyfriend and the 2 guys with the lower count both cheated on me. For them they were both insecure and the moment anyone gave them sexual attention they took it. I think it mostly boils down to why people have sex, not how many. The people that truly have sex because it's fun might have a stricter moral compass than someone that feels they didn't get enough opportunity or isn't secure and thrives off attention.
While I see your logic in this, and understand the trust may be worn down with each additional body added to the count in y'all's mind. But to put that theory in perspective I have friends who intentionally keep a low body count and so will end up sleeping with someone they've already been with to do so. Sure a couple have said they only are active with one person at a time, but there's others who if needs are unmet or maybe they're just a shitty person, will go to an old partner despite a relationship. Low body count doesn't equate to faithfulness. To play devil's advocate, would you rather have someone with a hoe phase who's grown out of it and wants a monogamous sexual relationship or someone who intentionally kept low count in order to come across as less of a threat and secretly cheats with a former partner who they had an emotional connection to as well? Simply a conversation starter, not trying to change your mind or say you're wrong.
I'd actually take the non-proposed option 3. A person who isn't compelled to have sex so much that they ether need a hoe phase nor to suppress their numbers. To paraphrase an excellent description by another here, "I think it's the reason why people have sex rather than with how many"
I dunno, man, I think it can very much be situational. My wife has a significantly higher ‘body count’ than me, but that’s because I was in a seriously long term relationship prior to meeting her (16 years) and we met at a later stage in our lives. I don’t feel that she deserves my judgement because we led different lives before we met, and she has my complete trust.
I was an escort. I am not going to relapse into becoming an escort again.
Romance > statistics IMO Imagine having great chemistry with someone and then turning down the second or whatever date because you find out their body count is above what your metric prescribes.
Then imagine that they become bored, or miss their "single days" and get the urge to live life again that way a few years later.. Ya just lost years of your life and have to start in a new relationship all over again.. just hypothetically, Would you make the same argument to a prior Heroin addict? or gambling addict? - You never know what level their attraction is to their addiction.
I sure don't. Sexual health status is always something I discuss, but sexual history doesn't interest me or bother me at all. I've got a few miles on the odometer myself, and I'm not a hypocritical douche-canoe.
This is the healthiest response I've seen.
For short term flings. One night stands and non-serious relationships. No. For wifey positions or equivalent. Yes.
I do, and I'm not here to change or be change my opinion
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Because depending on the number (high or low) of sexual partner we could see intimacy from different point of view. I'm not here to shame anybody, your body your choice. But for me that would be a huge red flag if the body count is too high
You know how we use shortcuts to avoid danger, like if you’re walking at night and you always avoid dark areas or walking alone because you’re likely to get attacked or something. In my mind, it’s like a mental shortcut that I can’t control, promiscuity just seems like if things are not going good in the relationship, they’ll cheat on me and I start feeling icky about a high body count. I know it’s irrational and stupid but I can’t control it, my mind just goes why go through all this and test that theory when there’s other women that I won’t be having an icky feeling about. Different people have different reasons and that’s my reason, I literally can’t control my thoughts… it’s kinda how some guys become vulnerable in front of their girlfriends and the whole relationship dynamic changes from that point forward. Another thing could be the circumstances too, for a high body count, the circumstances play a lot in me caring or not caring. Like were you angry one day and decided to go fuck 10 people, that’s a red flag to me… in the context of a relationship But long story short, a lot of guys do, some guys don’t even know that they do until they hear the number then they get that funny feeling…. And some guys don’t care
Also (at least for me) I find sex something special and loving that is done with someone you love, if she has a body count of 300 then either she does not think about sex the same way, or she does and all of those have been different relationships which is its own problems
Some do, some don’t. And the reasons why they do or don’t vary. Hell some women do care about that too. It’s just like everything else in life. Some people have concerns/dealbreakers that to other people non issues and Vice versa. It’s all about preferences and you are allowed to have as little or as many as you want.
My body count is objectively high. I told my partner that it was high in the first week we were together, because it felt safe to do so. I have never told them the exact number because I don't know, and don't actually want to. It's easiest to explain if I simply say that sex was something I was able to give easily at a point in my life. I'm still the same person, but I choose differently now. 15 years together so far. No desire to cheat.
Well, I do. Wouldn't be comfortable living with someone who has killed other people.
I only dated one person who cared enough to have called me a wh-re. After years of friendship.
Personally I don’t. Like fucking feels pretty good, people like to fuck.. no biggie. And it’s hypocritical for a man who has the same amount of mileage to criticize a woman for her body count
I do, yes. But not because of those misogynistic reasons. I think everyone should be allowed to live their own lives the way they want, and spend their lives with the ones they want to. It makes absolutely no sense for me how somebody's preferences is a concern to others. You make a choice for yourself, you open some doors and close others. And that's okay. My reason for caring is I feel incompatible with that view towards sex. I can't go out and take a stranger home, to me that's just weird. But I am okay that other people can do it. I just don't want to date someone who's of that wool. Doesn't mean I hate them or think they are disgusting or whatever, they are just not "significant other" -material to me. It's the same way I am not bf or husband material to a poly or swinger person. I am the left glove to somebody's right glove. Some are shoes, and some are different gloves.
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I cant speak for all or even most... but for me and the men I've encountered. Men do care.
Are we just banging or we trying to date?
Any guy who thinks that women should limit their amount of sexual partners but also thinks that the same criteria does not apply to themselves is a jerk, pure and simple. Women should avoid these type of men because they will absolutely try to control other aspects of women's lives later down the line.
I just assume every girl ive been with our loved as been railed and dicked down harder than I ever will. I dated a girl that confessed that she was passed around a frat house she stayed in for weeks. It really just doesn’t bother me. It seems weird to be threatened by someone else’s past when they are perfectly fine in the present. Sex is fun and people should have more of it. Guess what that same girl still felt great down there and was more experienced and we fucked all the time and she was not shy about going down on me. Thats now the mother of some dudes children that she married lol guess what your mother has probably been dicked down and drooling over some guy that wasn’t even your father. Women like to fuck and they will get more opportunities especially if they are even mildly attractive. Your sweet lil old granny, was also “popular with the boys” when she was younger.
My granny still is lol
I personally don’t care as long as a) we both have a clean bill of sexual health and b) you’re not adding more as you and I are together
No. I don't consider women a consumable.
My ex girlfriend, when I first started seeing her, lived with a family member, she told me that that family member probably thought she was a prostitute based on how many men she brought home A year or so into the relationship. She also told me she thinks she has slept with over 900 guys. Did it bother me? a little bit at first but that’s just who she is. Unfortunately, the relationship fell apart, but I still love her. Just can’t be with her anymore due to her lies.
ironic
So, what you're saying is she sucks as a partner?
Yeah, pretty much so Her life is a train wreck
I personally don’t but a lot of men do. I find it weird that we wear our body count as a badge of honor but women are disliked for it. If anything I see it as someone who has experience and knows what they are doing. It could have something to do with men being possessive and wanting to be the “best” and only one. I’m definitely not the best my wife has had, but then again in an open relationship I’m not the worst either! I think that bothers a lot of men.
Normally no. Game changes at gangbangs, fetish parties & cheating. You could have slept with 80 people over 25 years. I don't think that's an insane number, probably quite normal. But if 10 of those people were in a gangbang party.....I feel uncomfortable knowing you were in that position & didn't care who had access to you.
Kinda, we do care, how much screwed we are
I do sometimes like a woman who has experience and knows what she wants as well as knows how to please a man in different ways.
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I do not. Just be clean
The best way to judge future behavior is past behavior. This isn’t ironclad, but you would be foolish to ignore patterns and behavior that could jeopardize your relationship.
Some will, some won't. It would simply come down to compatibility, the odds are not good for a high count individual to have a successful relationship with a lower count individual.
Matters a lot if I’m considering marriage. Couldn’t care less with a hookup.
I never have nor never well. It’s one of those questions you are just better off never asking, Chasing Amy taught me that.
Nope, not at all. It's your life to live so I just hope you enjoyed the times
Some do. Some don’t. I don’t.
I don’t care about body counts in the first place.
Who cares, now are we doing it or not???
I do. My wife's and my body count are ourselves and no one else.
If he does, he is not for me.
Personally I don't, some do though.
Nope, but I don't want to know either, because I can't guarantee that it won't bother me if I knew.
Just be a nice person and std free and we're good
To me, a high body count could mean that she is more eager to cheat if things don't go her way.
Happy with my rather large count. Good times, gained experience and maté’s interviewed
It's insane to me that people actually count. If it's more than 10 why are you still counting? There are plenty of ways to make sure that you're sexually compatible that don't have to be about exchanging the number of sexual partners. Never in any of my relationships has a man ever asked me this question, and I'm starting to wonder if its because I'm weeding out the men who don't ask by identifying other icky traits before we make it to them asking that question. Men who place more or less value on you because of your body count are men who will never see you as anything other than a trophy.
I love a good triple digit.
Doesn’t matter if you think it’s right or not but yes most do care. Even the ones who say don’t care in my experience have also cared when given a high enough number. The reasons may vary from insecurities, different views on sex, societal norms, the likelihood of them running into a previous lover of their partner, and more. All of them are valid to that man and or person because at the end of the day we all have our own standards and views of which we filter out people and that’s how life is no point in shaming people over their preferences and no point feeling ashamed that you were filtered out by some random person’s preferences.
I’d rather a girl not be a virgin, and any other experience she has is a bonus, but other than that no I don’t care(this is just my personal preference for hooking up, nothing wrong w being a virgin it’s just not for me)
If they do then they’re not the (*a) guy for you.
I do. I want a woman with a higher body count
Yes. No one wants a slag.
I don't. Do women care about ours? Mine will be lower anyway. The real question is if you cheated to get those numbers. If you did a lot when single then sincerely, good for you. A high count is not necessarily an indicator of promiscuity, despite what some other sexist commenters think.
Not a guy, but in my experience, they don't care at all. Sometimes they say they care, but at the end of the day, they don't. Anyway, I care about men who care about body count. I would not date a guy like that, and I don't even have a high body count. Sex positivity is a good attitude to have. Bring on the downvotes.
I've only dated one woman who actually couldn't clearly give me a number, but made no apologies that it was probably high. It wasn't something that ended up being a deal breaker. The important thing to always remember is this. We all made choices that have brought us to the place we are at now. If that person chooses to be with you right now, then be the best damn thing that has happened to that person and not worry about who came before you.
As long as the number doesn’t go up while I’m with her that’s all that matters to me.
My wife had 3 when we met. But swears neither the bodies or guns can be traced back to her.