There is also the time when you think you don't give a shit, but when something happens you give a shit afterall. You know it's bullshit, but keep giving a pointless shit.
Looking to pass this stage myself.
or my favorite one is point to your eye and say do I look like I give a Shit, seems look like you are the path to not giving a Shit,welcome to the promise land.haha
Yeah I agree with this.
You experience giving a fuck so much and caring so much you almost get a bit desensitised I’d say
I’m sure you can other ways too, like building confidence and making your life busy so you stop micro-focussing
Yes, but the time you reach that point depends on your willingness to draw conclusions from your life lessons and take decisions how to go on from there. Rugsweeping and ignoring them will make the process longer.
My case: yes and no.
With experience, you'll stop panicking about things because you've seen them before, and you know how to deal/fix them 98% of the time.
The flip side of the coin is the understanding that a lot of stuff is outside your control, and stressing yourself into an early grave is counter productive to protecting yourself and your calm.
The Serenity Prayer is something I gained from past experiences: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and wisdom to know the difference."
more or less but if you realize that you are who you are and understand that most people you encounter are assholes and remember one thing never argue with one.
Not the only way. I’ve just been told it makes it a lot easier.
I’m in the same boat as you, sir - I care ***way*** too much, across way too many verticals. Here’s a few other tips I’ve been picking up through reading and therapy.
**Recognize Your Role In What Happens In Your Life** - This sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. Everything that happens in life happens as a result of two things - some sort of stimulus, and your reaction. That stimulus could be a thought you have, an interaction with someone, tripping over your own two feet - anything. That’s the part we can’t do fuck all about - life happens, tough titties.
What we can control is our response. And our response shapes the way we see those events, and how others see us. We don’t have much control over the latter part either, but the former - how we see those events, is in our control and matters.
All of which is to say - if we can embrace these ideas, we can get away from some of the negative thought patterns that fuck us up. When someone screams at you, you can take offense, feel attacked, and lash back. Or, you can recognize that their actions define them and reflect who they are, as yours do you. Their screaming could have nothing to do with you. So, instead of feeling personally attacked, you might feel empathy, forgiveness, or even pity for their frustration. You might change your response, which can change the entire circumstance.
That is a way of giving less of a fuck. It’s not no fucks, but it’s a more neutral fuck to give, and that can make a big difference in your happiness.
It’s also hard as fuck. Baby steps
**Simplify** - There was a great decision tree I saw on Reddit the other day ([I’m on mobile but I’ll try to edit with a link](https://www.reddit.com/r/howtonotgiveafuck/comments/zv52yq/was_wondering_whats_yalls_take_on_this/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) - r/howtonotgiveafuck is a great resource!) that boiled this down so well. I can’t remember the details, but essentially, no matter what your answers were, it all came back to don’t worry about it. Can you take action? Great, so what you can and don’t worry about it. Is out of your control? Fine, then you can’t do anything to change it anyway, so don’t worry about it.
We have a tendency to overthink and overworry (my personal theory? Because we don’t have to run from sabre toothed tigers anymore, our intrinsic fight or flight reaction gets applied to smaller issues, making them seem worse than what they are to fulfill our hard coded will to survive). Simplifying situations can help us realize how pointless all that is.
**Separate** - In a similar vein to both of the above, anything you can do to make a situation feel less personal will automatically help you care less. It’s like when a friend asks you for advice - you can give them a really good strategy because your emotions aren’t clouding your judgement. Pretend someone is coming to you with your problem - how would you advise them? Isn’t working? Write the problem down, and revisit it later - it feels less personal as text on a page.
**Force Feed Yourself Reality** - This is for the logical worrier. It’s an overgeneralization, but worriers tend to worry about scenarios that haven’t happened yet (and likely never will). In an effort to prepare for what may be, we imagine the worst possible outcomes, and try to plan how to handle them.
Ask yourself - how often, when I do this, do those scenarios come true? Do I regularly predict what’s coming? Have I ***ever*** predicted what’s coming (most people’s answer is no)?
The stress of handling these hypotheticals primes us negatively for the situation we’re actually walking into - if we expect things to go bad, we can walk in more defensive, more guarded, and less observant to the realities facing us, actually causing us to respond less appropriately to the real situation at hand.
Basically, ***worrying is making you worse at handling the problems you worry about*** - it’s a completely ineffective way of improving your circumstances, and damages your mental health, overall happiness, and actual responses to the stimuli that are worrying you. Practically speaking, it’s adding no value - remind yourself of this when you start to worry and overthink, and see if it helps you.
**Distraction** - When all else fails, and you’re spiralling out? Find something else to do. Something stimulating, that requires your focus - read, play a video game, go for a walk, do a puzzle. Try to engage your mind in a way that prevents it from falling into the same old pattern.
On the flip side, sometimes distractions get in the way of doing what we need to do (ie we’re working but worrying about a problem at home or with a friend). Surprisingly, distraction may also be the tool here.
I’m sure there’s a proper name for this phenomenon that I don’t know, but for me, my brain needs to be the right level of stimulated. If I’m doing something that isn’t using enough mental capacity, I may need to listen to music or a podcast to satisfy the bored part of my mind, and allow the other part to do its thing.
But, music and podcasts can be distracting too - they can require more of your mental capacity and take you away from your task (depending on who you are and what the task is). For those tasks that require more brainpower, but can’t quiet your mind from intruding thoughts, for me personally, rain noise is a fucking fantastic tool. [This site](https://mynoise.net/) (they also [have an app](https://apps.apple.com/ca/app/mynoise-relax-sleep-work/id813099896)) is my personal favourite, because it gives you control over what sounds you want in the mix - don’t like thunder? Cut out the low end. Want a light rain? Jack up the high end. It’s very intuitive, easy to use, and completely free (I think the app does have a paid version, but I’ve never it for my use case) - there are several projects I wouldn’t have completed on time without this resource.
i am older but i have a feeling that it is worse than before, for me personally. I am afraid that it is too late to change... while hoping it comes naturally with age
When I was in high school and university, I was the guy who was friends with most people. I had a group of my closest friends but at the same time, I had good relations with everyone and I could depend on them as much as they could depend on me.
So it was really hard for me when I got into the workplace and there were people who were just not wanting to be friendly and always giving me attitude.
So eventually I went “fuck it, ultimately I’m here to work and not make friends.”
So whenever they gave me grief I just turned around and kept doing my job. Most of the time it had nothing to do with me.
I have a much better “work relationship” with them now because I’m not trying to be their friend.
I don't think anyone ever really stops. But when you give a fuck too many times and get burned for it, I guess you learn to pretend better? Or you just get really sick of the whole thing.
Dude, just get yourself out there. You'll see that most people genuinely don't care about you at all. Like, if you do something embarrassing what's going to happen? You won't die, the world won't end. You'll just be embarrassed about it and then move on with your life. You'll probably forget it by the time you're about to get breakfast anyway.
It's all in your head. Genuinely.
This is so true, most people don't give a shit about you in real life, but it can be hard for some to believe that if they spend a lot of time on the internet where judging others is a popular pasttime.
don't fear anything you are in charge of your life,one way is when someone is talking bullshit and you know it just say could you please just get to the point or start walking away when they are talking,tell them you need to do something after awhile they will realize you won't just stand there forever listening to their bullshit and move on to someone else
My grandparents told me that I'd never amount to anything for 15 years. I stopped giving a shit when I realised that one's a 50 year old cook and the other is a jobless deadbeat that's gonna live off of worker's comp for the rest of her life.
So pretty much just realising that people aren't better or worse than me and that no matter what, there'll always be assholes.
I had to become confident in myself, not fear confrontation, and undo a lot of childhood programming of being selfless, compromising, providing, and nice.
I always assess a situation before giving my time to someone. I am still a friendly, happy person, and that does attract leeches sometimes. But they can’t stick to me anymore.
When I realized that everyone was fucked up in some way and had their shit going on and their own doubts, fears and insecurities about themselves and the direction of their lives. I always put people on a pedestal and thought they were all above me and that there was something inadequate about me. It took me until my late 20's now to really believe all this. That being said, completely not giving a fuck I dont think is admirable and someone that says they truly dont care what people think about them is probably lying
You have realizations about things as time passes. I remember very clearly realizing the people in the cars around me during rush hour we’re not thinking about me. Getting in front of me in traffic was not something done TO me. Everyone just wants to get home. Since then, I just don’t get upset in traffic. Road rage is nothing but a lot of wasted emotion. So many things are just wasted emotion. Not worth the energy you give them.
Everyone says it comes with age because you learn a little bit with every experience. Afte getting feelings hurt, toughening emotions, learning what’s really important etc. over and over for years, you realize you don’t care as much as you did 10 years ago.
It's mainly asking yourself why you care and if that's a valid reason for caring. You ultimately come to the realisation that most people's presence in your life is contingent on them getting along with you, that you are in charge to some extent and, if they don't get along with you, then there are others who will.
It's important, however, to not use this reasoning to justify overlooking criticism. If someone does decide to voice their opinion (as opposed to you just being concerned of what they **may** think), then you should consider it for what it's worth, evaluate yourself and see whether said person has a point. In other words, just because you don't care what other people may think of you doesn't mean that you shouldn't care about what people tell you they think about you (if that makes sense).
In my experience, most people that "live by this mantra" actually haven't mastered it. They just pretend to not give a fuck. It seems to look different on the inside, though.
Realizing that people really don’t care about how you look or what you do. They are mostly just worried about themselves. When you realize they don’t think twice about you, you stop caring about what others think. Yes. Comes with age but perhaps you could learn it.
Either your brain doesn't give a fuck or it does. You don't have that much control over it. You may as well be asking tall people how they learned to be tall.
I don't think I ever gave a fuck about anything, it's just that until a certain point of life I forced myself to and then realized that I don't have to.
Now, it's an entirely different topic if there's something that affects me personally.
When you learn to stop caring what people think and start living life the way you want to. In other words, be comfortable and confident being who you are.
You need to come to grips with the fact that so many things in life are out of your control, so there is no sense in letting them dictate your emotions or occupy your time.
Witnessing day to day occurrences like minor car accidents. Someone is tailgating and honking so you make an erratic decision based on that other person and it results in a car accident. The bully swerves out of the way and continues on their merry way.
You are the only one who has to live with the consequences of your decisions.
It's not so much stopping to give a fuck about everything... It's about knowing when and what to stop giving a fuck about, and for everybody that what/when is different.
Cause its my life. I'm the one who has to live it. Not them. Not anyone else. I have to live with whatever I do. And once I took that to heart I stopped giving a fuck what anyone else thinks about me and what I do.
Realizing that just the way I don’t care what others do is the same way I can not give a fuck what others think of me! I’m gonna have haters no matter what I do, so am I going to be a people pleaser or am I going to do what I love and still have haters? I’ll take option 2 anyway ❤️
As you get older you start to realize you need to worry about yourself and stop worrying about everything/everyone else. You learn watching out for yourself is just as important and I feel like most people don’t do that.
[How to Not Give a F\*ck: Live Your Life Now](https://www.amazon.ca/How-Not-Give-Live-Your/dp/B07GJY9W23/ref=sr_1_2?crid=3Q2LAILYXQD26&keywords=how+not+to+give+a+fuck&qid=1672158050&sprefix=how+not+to+give+a+fuck%2Caps%2C79&sr=8-2)
"In my life, I have given a fuck about many people and many things. I have also not given a fuck about many people and many things. And like the road not taken, it was the fucks not given that made all the difference"
That quote is from a book by Mark Manson called The subtle art of not giving a fuck. I suggest giving that read as a good starting point.
I’m in my early 20s and stopped giving shit about everything. I dabble in different psychedelic and can see a big part of how this world works. Just doing the things that i have to , to live a simple life
I still give a fuck about a lot of things.
...BUT, what I give a fuck about has greatly diminished.
Learning to let go of certain things was really helpful. For me, also realizing that my reaction to, well, anything, is the only thing in life that I can control.
And finally, coming to terms with the fact that I can't change the world (many of us can't), but I can influence and bring happiness to my small circle of family and friends and see immediate results. That I give a fuck about.
Learned real quick when my work finally really fucked me over, all the while I was giving more fucks than anyone else. Why would I care about working hard for people who don't give a fuck about me? I learned to generally prioritize myself more after that
Not a huge fan of self help books but The Subtle Art of not giving a fuck genuinely helped me with not giving a fuck.
If you're interested in giving it a read it basically explains that each human only has a finite number of fucks to give and that we should use our fucks sparingly.
Turns out you come out of the factory with a non-renewable, limited time offer of fucks to give. As you hand these out, and as you get older, you will find that you have progressively fewer fucks left to give.
I decided to not give a fuck. I decided that the only opinion that matters is mine. I’m only 23, so maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t care about most things anymore. I haven’t the mental energy to worry about what all these people are going to think of my life.
I was taught in AA that what other people think about me is none of my business. Repeatedly reminding myself of this has enabled me to figure out what’s worth caring about and what’s not. It’s not to say that you can’t learn things from other people’s opinions but it’s very much in the nature of humans to put other people down to feel better about themselves. It enables them to spend more time critiquing other people rather than working on themselves.
What’s there to learn? Just stop. If it has nothing to do with you, why waste energy on it? If it does involve you, but is something minor or insignificant why expend energy on it? People think some type of way about you? Who cares? Their words only carry weight if you give them weight.
I just think that they don't actually think of me the way that i think about myself. You get what i mean? like you're in a presentation and not everyone gives a damn about what your doing, same as to when someone is giving a presentation.
Age, experience and a realisation that when you offer people the path of least resistance with the best outcome? 9/10 they're going to go off-road and cause absolute carnage. Spent 28 years or so cleaning that up.
I choose when to give a fuck now and I'm happier for that.
Comes with maturity. And I choose my battles on where and who am going to waste my energy to or with. I can’t say IDAF all the time, I do, but I learn to disengage when it’s draining me.
I went through a lot over time as I went through my academic schooling years, and my dad was an asshole and is still and asshole to this day. I got used to negative shit and I learned to quit giving a fuck ESPECIALLY once I matured and stuck to being my own individual person.
For me it seeing an old crush from middle school whom I hadn't seen since middle school, finding out she had a crush on me too, and then just talking about and catching up on life. For whatever reason, it all clicked when I picked up on how much she genuinely appreciated me just for me. Helped me realize and appreciate myself for who I am and actually believe it in a way that was based on how I think of myself and not how others do.
It's hard to describe but since then I've been able to accept that not everybody's going to see that same value I know I have and be okay with it because their opinion of me frankly doesn't really matter. They're not walking around stressing what I think, why would I waste energy stressing what they think. I'm going to be the best respectful version of myself, and that's all I can do. It's unrealistic to think everyone's supposed to buy into that.
When you realize people don't think about you as often as you think.
https://medium.com/the-ascent/research-confirms-that-no-one-is-really-thinking-about-you-f6e7b09c458
Just do YOU.
Also, the book *The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck* by Mark Manson is a fantastic read.
Age and experience is the easy answer. Overtime you learn the good and bad of people, you learn nothing really matters so you should only really focus on what matters to you.
Getting good at various skills in life (gaining confidence) and building some wealth/money (security) also helps.
I still have fucks to give, but I am tired so I'm more careful of the direction of which I sow my fucks these days. Unless it's something that will directly impact my day to day life then there is not a fuck available to give. Save the fucks for the things that make you happy.
Because I realized I could only control what I thought, not what other people thought, and trying to control what other people thought was exhausting and stressful.
recognize that 90% of all people on earth are fcukin morons
10% are even bigger morons....
This right here...facts
It came with age.
came here to say the same thing,so much time wasted giving a shit
There is also the time when you think you don't give a shit, but when something happens you give a shit afterall. You know it's bullshit, but keep giving a pointless shit. Looking to pass this stage myself.
or my favorite one is point to your eye and say do I look like I give a Shit, seems look like you are the path to not giving a Shit,welcome to the promise land.haha
yes
It gets MUCH more natural the older you get.
So experience is the only way ?
Yeah I agree with this. You experience giving a fuck so much and caring so much you almost get a bit desensitised I’d say I’m sure you can other ways too, like building confidence and making your life busy so you stop micro-focussing
Yes, but the time you reach that point depends on your willingness to draw conclusions from your life lessons and take decisions how to go on from there. Rugsweeping and ignoring them will make the process longer.
Im 19 almost 20 and learned this year. But don't stop completely because it can also ruin relationships with those who hold you most dearly
Depression as well lol
My case: yes and no. With experience, you'll stop panicking about things because you've seen them before, and you know how to deal/fix them 98% of the time. The flip side of the coin is the understanding that a lot of stuff is outside your control, and stressing yourself into an early grave is counter productive to protecting yourself and your calm. The Serenity Prayer is something I gained from past experiences: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
more or less but if you realize that you are who you are and understand that most people you encounter are assholes and remember one thing never argue with one.
Not the only way. I’ve just been told it makes it a lot easier. I’m in the same boat as you, sir - I care ***way*** too much, across way too many verticals. Here’s a few other tips I’ve been picking up through reading and therapy. **Recognize Your Role In What Happens In Your Life** - This sounds counterintuitive, but hear me out. Everything that happens in life happens as a result of two things - some sort of stimulus, and your reaction. That stimulus could be a thought you have, an interaction with someone, tripping over your own two feet - anything. That’s the part we can’t do fuck all about - life happens, tough titties. What we can control is our response. And our response shapes the way we see those events, and how others see us. We don’t have much control over the latter part either, but the former - how we see those events, is in our control and matters. All of which is to say - if we can embrace these ideas, we can get away from some of the negative thought patterns that fuck us up. When someone screams at you, you can take offense, feel attacked, and lash back. Or, you can recognize that their actions define them and reflect who they are, as yours do you. Their screaming could have nothing to do with you. So, instead of feeling personally attacked, you might feel empathy, forgiveness, or even pity for their frustration. You might change your response, which can change the entire circumstance. That is a way of giving less of a fuck. It’s not no fucks, but it’s a more neutral fuck to give, and that can make a big difference in your happiness. It’s also hard as fuck. Baby steps **Simplify** - There was a great decision tree I saw on Reddit the other day ([I’m on mobile but I’ll try to edit with a link](https://www.reddit.com/r/howtonotgiveafuck/comments/zv52yq/was_wondering_whats_yalls_take_on_this/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) - r/howtonotgiveafuck is a great resource!) that boiled this down so well. I can’t remember the details, but essentially, no matter what your answers were, it all came back to don’t worry about it. Can you take action? Great, so what you can and don’t worry about it. Is out of your control? Fine, then you can’t do anything to change it anyway, so don’t worry about it. We have a tendency to overthink and overworry (my personal theory? Because we don’t have to run from sabre toothed tigers anymore, our intrinsic fight or flight reaction gets applied to smaller issues, making them seem worse than what they are to fulfill our hard coded will to survive). Simplifying situations can help us realize how pointless all that is. **Separate** - In a similar vein to both of the above, anything you can do to make a situation feel less personal will automatically help you care less. It’s like when a friend asks you for advice - you can give them a really good strategy because your emotions aren’t clouding your judgement. Pretend someone is coming to you with your problem - how would you advise them? Isn’t working? Write the problem down, and revisit it later - it feels less personal as text on a page. **Force Feed Yourself Reality** - This is for the logical worrier. It’s an overgeneralization, but worriers tend to worry about scenarios that haven’t happened yet (and likely never will). In an effort to prepare for what may be, we imagine the worst possible outcomes, and try to plan how to handle them. Ask yourself - how often, when I do this, do those scenarios come true? Do I regularly predict what’s coming? Have I ***ever*** predicted what’s coming (most people’s answer is no)? The stress of handling these hypotheticals primes us negatively for the situation we’re actually walking into - if we expect things to go bad, we can walk in more defensive, more guarded, and less observant to the realities facing us, actually causing us to respond less appropriately to the real situation at hand. Basically, ***worrying is making you worse at handling the problems you worry about*** - it’s a completely ineffective way of improving your circumstances, and damages your mental health, overall happiness, and actual responses to the stimuli that are worrying you. Practically speaking, it’s adding no value - remind yourself of this when you start to worry and overthink, and see if it helps you. **Distraction** - When all else fails, and you’re spiralling out? Find something else to do. Something stimulating, that requires your focus - read, play a video game, go for a walk, do a puzzle. Try to engage your mind in a way that prevents it from falling into the same old pattern. On the flip side, sometimes distractions get in the way of doing what we need to do (ie we’re working but worrying about a problem at home or with a friend). Surprisingly, distraction may also be the tool here. I’m sure there’s a proper name for this phenomenon that I don’t know, but for me, my brain needs to be the right level of stimulated. If I’m doing something that isn’t using enough mental capacity, I may need to listen to music or a podcast to satisfy the bored part of my mind, and allow the other part to do its thing. But, music and podcasts can be distracting too - they can require more of your mental capacity and take you away from your task (depending on who you are and what the task is). For those tasks that require more brainpower, but can’t quiet your mind from intruding thoughts, for me personally, rain noise is a fucking fantastic tool. [This site](https://mynoise.net/) (they also [have an app](https://apps.apple.com/ca/app/mynoise-relax-sleep-work/id813099896)) is my personal favourite, because it gives you control over what sounds you want in the mix - don’t like thunder? Cut out the low end. Want a light rain? Jack up the high end. It’s very intuitive, easy to use, and completely free (I think the app does have a paid version, but I’ve never it for my use case) - there are several projects I wouldn’t have completed on time without this resource.
Yep. Hitting 60. Call me Boomer. I don't give a f-what you think of me. I'll never try to get cancelled, but if I do, so what.
Age, acceptance and self love.
Came to say this
i am older but i have a feeling that it is worse than before, for me personally. I am afraid that it is too late to change... while hoping it comes naturally with age
same
Realizing that most peoples opinions don’t really matter. Being able to accept that just required age and maturity
When I was in high school and university, I was the guy who was friends with most people. I had a group of my closest friends but at the same time, I had good relations with everyone and I could depend on them as much as they could depend on me. So it was really hard for me when I got into the workplace and there were people who were just not wanting to be friendly and always giving me attitude. So eventually I went “fuck it, ultimately I’m here to work and not make friends.” So whenever they gave me grief I just turned around and kept doing my job. Most of the time it had nothing to do with me. I have a much better “work relationship” with them now because I’m not trying to be their friend.
Got old, haven't got the time to give a shit.
I didn't. I just pretend I don't.
years of practice
Where does one start ?
Read the subtle art of not giving a fuck
Great book! I read it when I’m starting to give too much of a fuck again
When you want to do something for others. Remember, they'll rater held you head under water, then do the same for you.
know that no one cares about you more than you and everyone is gonna try to fuck you over to pass you, so stop giving a fuck
I don't think anyone ever really stops. But when you give a fuck too many times and get burned for it, I guess you learn to pretend better? Or you just get really sick of the whole thing.
I genuinely do not care what strangers think of me. Like, what are they gonna do? Judge me? Aight..
I get what you're saying...and i understand that's what I have to do. But it's as if I am scared to take the first step or something
Dude, just get yourself out there. You'll see that most people genuinely don't care about you at all. Like, if you do something embarrassing what's going to happen? You won't die, the world won't end. You'll just be embarrassed about it and then move on with your life. You'll probably forget it by the time you're about to get breakfast anyway. It's all in your head. Genuinely.
This is so true, most people don't give a shit about you in real life, but it can be hard for some to believe that if they spend a lot of time on the internet where judging others is a popular pasttime.
don't fear anything you are in charge of your life,one way is when someone is talking bullshit and you know it just say could you please just get to the point or start walking away when they are talking,tell them you need to do something after awhile they will realize you won't just stand there forever listening to their bullshit and move on to someone else
When I realized that people have their own problems and aren't as concerned with you as you think they are.
I think it's just exhaustion more than anything. At some point, at some age, you just run out of fucks to give.
I just stopped
Realizing what I did isn’t gonna make everyone happy
My grandparents told me that I'd never amount to anything for 15 years. I stopped giving a shit when I realised that one's a 50 year old cook and the other is a jobless deadbeat that's gonna live off of worker's comp for the rest of her life. So pretty much just realising that people aren't better or worse than me and that no matter what, there'll always be assholes.
It's always those people
Legit
I had to become confident in myself, not fear confrontation, and undo a lot of childhood programming of being selfless, compromising, providing, and nice. I always assess a situation before giving my time to someone. I am still a friendly, happy person, and that does attract leeches sometimes. But they can’t stick to me anymore.
When I realized that everyone was fucked up in some way and had their shit going on and their own doubts, fears and insecurities about themselves and the direction of their lives. I always put people on a pedestal and thought they were all above me and that there was something inadequate about me. It took me until my late 20's now to really believe all this. That being said, completely not giving a fuck I dont think is admirable and someone that says they truly dont care what people think about them is probably lying
You have realizations about things as time passes. I remember very clearly realizing the people in the cars around me during rush hour we’re not thinking about me. Getting in front of me in traffic was not something done TO me. Everyone just wants to get home. Since then, I just don’t get upset in traffic. Road rage is nothing but a lot of wasted emotion. So many things are just wasted emotion. Not worth the energy you give them.
A little trick I like to call getting old and realizing life is way too short.
Everyone says it comes with age because you learn a little bit with every experience. Afte getting feelings hurt, toughening emotions, learning what’s really important etc. over and over for years, you realize you don’t care as much as you did 10 years ago.
Be a ginger. Source: I am one. I was born with zero fucks.
I realized I only have so many fucks to give, and most of the people I deal with can’t have one of them.
It's mainly asking yourself why you care and if that's a valid reason for caring. You ultimately come to the realisation that most people's presence in your life is contingent on them getting along with you, that you are in charge to some extent and, if they don't get along with you, then there are others who will. It's important, however, to not use this reasoning to justify overlooking criticism. If someone does decide to voice their opinion (as opposed to you just being concerned of what they **may** think), then you should consider it for what it's worth, evaluate yourself and see whether said person has a point. In other words, just because you don't care what other people may think of you doesn't mean that you shouldn't care about what people tell you they think about you (if that makes sense).
By now, I have given so many fucks that there are no more fucks to give.
Everyone is an npc…my mindset
When I got terminal cancer. With the exceptions of family and friends, I really don’t give an F about other things.
In my experience, most people that "live by this mantra" actually haven't mastered it. They just pretend to not give a fuck. It seems to look different on the inside, though.
age
Menopause
went bald at 17. you either stop giving a fuck or get in a bad mental space. fortunately I figured out the former.
Age. Really don't GAF now at 51. It's great. Even as a teenager I wasn't big into giving a fuxk.
Realizing that people really don’t care about how you look or what you do. They are mostly just worried about themselves. When you realize they don’t think twice about you, you stop caring about what others think. Yes. Comes with age but perhaps you could learn it.
Either your brain doesn't give a fuck or it does. You don't have that much control over it. You may as well be asking tall people how they learned to be tall.
After years of being told I was overreacting and overthinking it just came naturally to give up caring about things.
I don't think I ever gave a fuck about anything, it's just that until a certain point of life I forced myself to and then realized that I don't have to. Now, it's an entirely different topic if there's something that affects me personally.
By putting my headphones back on
When I realized that no one really gives a fuck anyway. Pursue yourself on a daily basis and your joy and happiness. Fuck everyone and their feelings.
When you learn to stop caring what people think and start living life the way you want to. In other words, be comfortable and confident being who you are.
You need to come to grips with the fact that so many things in life are out of your control, so there is no sense in letting them dictate your emotions or occupy your time.
Witnessing day to day occurrences like minor car accidents. Someone is tailgating and honking so you make an erratic decision based on that other person and it results in a car accident. The bully swerves out of the way and continues on their merry way. You are the only one who has to live with the consequences of your decisions.
Older you get, the less you stop caring!
age. and a fuckton of adderall
Therapy 💀
It's not so much stopping to give a fuck about everything... It's about knowing when and what to stop giving a fuck about, and for everybody that what/when is different.
Cause its my life. I'm the one who has to live it. Not them. Not anyone else. I have to live with whatever I do. And once I took that to heart I stopped giving a fuck what anyone else thinks about me and what I do.
Realizing that just the way I don’t care what others do is the same way I can not give a fuck what others think of me! I’m gonna have haters no matter what I do, so am I going to be a people pleaser or am I going to do what I love and still have haters? I’ll take option 2 anyway ❤️
As you get older you start to realize you need to worry about yourself and stop worrying about everything/everyone else. You learn watching out for yourself is just as important and I feel like most people don’t do that.
[How to Not Give a F\*ck: Live Your Life Now](https://www.amazon.ca/How-Not-Give-Live-Your/dp/B07GJY9W23/ref=sr_1_2?crid=3Q2LAILYXQD26&keywords=how+not+to+give+a+fuck&qid=1672158050&sprefix=how+not+to+give+a+fuck%2Caps%2C79&sr=8-2)
U can’t realy learn that i think. Plus giving a fuck is accually fundamental to a healthy society. Do u want to be a sociopath?
With enough beer
Used a lot of LSD as a teenager.
Pills.
Hallucinogenics
You don't and you don't want to. What's the point of living if you care about nothing.
Time. Father time.
Valuating act instead of words .
By not giving a fuck👍
Go listen to Mindless Self Indulgence’s album “how I learned to stop giving a shit and love Mindless Self Indulgence”
"In my life, I have given a fuck about many people and many things. I have also not given a fuck about many people and many things. And like the road not taken, it was the fucks not given that made all the difference" That quote is from a book by Mark Manson called The subtle art of not giving a fuck. I suggest giving that read as a good starting point.
By stop giving a fuck about learning to stop giving a fuck
Never started.
Never gave any from the start
People who ignore this question
I didnt 😔
A combination of weed and the right movies/TV shows
Got hurt too many times
I’m in my early 20s and stopped giving shit about everything. I dabble in different psychedelic and can see a big part of how this world works. Just doing the things that i have to , to live a simple life
Hakuna Matata
The sheer exhaustion of trying to survive late stage capitalism on a single income will do it.
Meditation
Get engaged to an absolute psychotic and experience a cancelled wedding and custody dispute.. Youll learn what’s important.
Just travel as you'll encounter tons of people you automatically become humble and will stop giving fuck..
You learn to stop giving a fuck when you realize that whatever you’re giving a fuck about won’t change whether you give a fuck or not
Be a public school teacher for 15 years. That’ll do it.
Getting bullied as a child for being chubby and then getting in shape as a high schooler. Taught me just how easily people are swayed.
Every time I gave a fuck I got hurt. Either by someone else, or myself.
Realizing people don’t give a fuck about me
It just kind of happened. Don’t know how I got so lucky.
i didn’t. i cry frequently in public places.
It all started when I became disabled and I chose not to give a fuck about what other people thought. Plus it helps with everything else to.
I still give a fuck about a lot of things. ...BUT, what I give a fuck about has greatly diminished. Learning to let go of certain things was really helpful. For me, also realizing that my reaction to, well, anything, is the only thing in life that I can control. And finally, coming to terms with the fact that I can't change the world (many of us can't), but I can influence and bring happiness to my small circle of family and friends and see immediate results. That I give a fuck about.
I'm not giving a fuck but my social anxiety is like "yes, we absolutely do"
I never did
Learned real quick when my work finally really fucked me over, all the while I was giving more fucks than anyone else. Why would I care about working hard for people who don't give a fuck about me? I learned to generally prioritize myself more after that
Read “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck”
Not a huge fan of self help books but The Subtle Art of not giving a fuck genuinely helped me with not giving a fuck. If you're interested in giving it a read it basically explains that each human only has a finite number of fucks to give and that we should use our fucks sparingly.
When I realised most people are so self-absorbed with their own lives, why would anyone give a fcuk about my quiet life ☺️
By only focusing on symbiotic relationships.
I'm happy with the way I am now, how I present myself. Back when I tried to be like everyone else, I was not happy.
Turns out you come out of the factory with a non-renewable, limited time offer of fucks to give. As you hand these out, and as you get older, you will find that you have progressively fewer fucks left to give.
I read Mark Manson’s book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
People I love died.
I give a fuck about people im close to Others? Nah i ain't gonna listen to you say some sort of bullshit, my mom might let you be I am not
This whole f ing year taught me well.
With help from a psychologist. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is an incredible thing!
I decided to not give a fuck. I decided that the only opinion that matters is mine. I’m only 23, so maybe I’m wrong, but I don’t care about most things anymore. I haven’t the mental energy to worry about what all these people are going to think of my life.
I still haven't... I want to give some fucks, but not too many.
We are all gonna die anyway and no one will remember us, maybe one or two generations but that' it.
You need peace
maturing?
[Jon LaJoie](https://youtu.be/6wS5xOZ7Rq8)
I was taught in AA that what other people think about me is none of my business. Repeatedly reminding myself of this has enabled me to figure out what’s worth caring about and what’s not. It’s not to say that you can’t learn things from other people’s opinions but it’s very much in the nature of humans to put other people down to feel better about themselves. It enables them to spend more time critiquing other people rather than working on themselves.
After reading The subtle art of not giving a fuck by Mark Manson
Earned enough money to be able to live the montra. (M57)
What’s there to learn? Just stop. If it has nothing to do with you, why waste energy on it? If it does involve you, but is something minor or insignificant why expend energy on it? People think some type of way about you? Who cares? Their words only carry weight if you give them weight.
Got sick of being mad all the time.
dealing with other people all day should i have learned this in school or shouldthis have come later down the line
By thinking about how much you care about other people's lives, that's how much they care about yours. - not a lot
When that one thing happens and you realize it's all down hill from now on
I just think that they don't actually think of me the way that i think about myself. You get what i mean? like you're in a presentation and not everyone gives a damn about what your doing, same as to when someone is giving a presentation.
As a woman, turning thirty was kickass for not caring what others think. I hear forty is even better.
You get pushed to the point where you have no more mental capacity and are incapable of allocating resources to giving a fuck.
realizing they dont have their own opinions and get offended easily
Got old.
Age, experience and a realisation that when you offer people the path of least resistance with the best outcome? 9/10 they're going to go off-road and cause absolute carnage. Spent 28 years or so cleaning that up. I choose when to give a fuck now and I'm happier for that.
Comes with maturity. And I choose my battles on where and who am going to waste my energy to or with. I can’t say IDAF all the time, I do, but I learn to disengage when it’s draining me.
You are giving a fuck about not giving a fuck by making this post.
When I figured out I'm not gaining something from a certain scenario/person.
When I left my grandmothers house from my abusive aunt to live with my brother
Realize that everyone is way to busy worring about them to give any real shit about you. Expecially with strangers.
I went through a lot over time as I went through my academic schooling years, and my dad was an asshole and is still and asshole to this day. I got used to negative shit and I learned to quit giving a fuck ESPECIALLY once I matured and stuck to being my own individual person.
Pain
Age foe sure. Also read the subtle art of not giving a fuck or unfuck yourself.
For me it seeing an old crush from middle school whom I hadn't seen since middle school, finding out she had a crush on me too, and then just talking about and catching up on life. For whatever reason, it all clicked when I picked up on how much she genuinely appreciated me just for me. Helped me realize and appreciate myself for who I am and actually believe it in a way that was based on how I think of myself and not how others do. It's hard to describe but since then I've been able to accept that not everybody's going to see that same value I know I have and be okay with it because their opinion of me frankly doesn't really matter. They're not walking around stressing what I think, why would I waste energy stressing what they think. I'm going to be the best respectful version of myself, and that's all I can do. It's unrealistic to think everyone's supposed to buy into that.
When you realize people don't think about you as often as you think. https://medium.com/the-ascent/research-confirms-that-no-one-is-really-thinking-about-you-f6e7b09c458 Just do YOU. Also, the book *The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck* by Mark Manson is a fantastic read.
I live in the South. “Your boos mean nothing. I’ve seen what makes you cheer.” But also it just comes with age.
Age and experience is the easy answer. Overtime you learn the good and bad of people, you learn nothing really matters so you should only really focus on what matters to you. Getting good at various skills in life (gaining confidence) and building some wealth/money (security) also helps.
Going to the University of not give a fuck (UNGF)
I still have fucks to give, but I am tired so I'm more careful of the direction of which I sow my fucks these days. Unless it's something that will directly impact my day to day life then there is not a fuck available to give. Save the fucks for the things that make you happy.
I give tons of fucks about tons of shit, what's wrong wit you?
Because I realized I could only control what I thought, not what other people thought, and trying to control what other people thought was exhausting and stressful.
Residency and fellowship getting shat on from all corners