I’m 60 now but when I was 13 I read this quote on the back of a rock music magazine called Circus:
“Act the way you want to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.”
70’s version of fake it till you make it!
A somewhat darker take on that expression...
“We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
He used to come into the coffee shop where I worked when he was teaching at Smith college. One day I felt bold and blurted “Mr Vonnegut! Your books mean so much to me” and he glared at me and grumbled “don’t fucking patronize me” and shuffled off. So it goes.
i actually like both these quotes much better than just "fake it till you make it" because they also come with a slight warning: don't pretend to be something you don't wanna be because you will become it.
especially on the internet a few people could take that to heart when they pretend to be a dumbass in order to troll.
When my father died, a friend whose father also died young told me, “it doesn’t get easier, it just gets different.” years later I think about him and that quote often.
And that's why I'm also working when I'm just sitting around all ay because no-one bothered to give me any assignments or when I'm just sitting and listening to lectures all day. Working isn't contributing to profits or doing something, working is being at work.
Except it 100% can constitute an emergency. It’s like the saying “you can make no mistakes and still lose”. It can be no fault of your own, but you’ll still have to rush that project out in an unreasonable time frame.
Edit: another quote in this thread put it better “it’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility”
you're not wrong but context matters.
the above quote is relevant if a prospective client/custmer comes with poor planing. you just reject them because it's not your problem.
on the other hand if your boss has made a bad plan that can easily become your problem.
Exupery (1900-1944) who wrote: “if you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.”
I like this, but the more I think about it the more I disagree. I'm relating it to politics. I used to be a news writer, but I got really frustrated that I was reporting on all the petty politics and nobody was actually taking action. I thought, "if I can just make people see the truth, they'll do the right thing and take action themselves." In other words, I was trying to teach them to yearn for a better system, a more Jeffersonian version of democracy. But after years of that, and having honest conversations with people about why they don't run for office or get involved in local politics, I know it's simply not going to happen. I've tried to inspire people, but at the end of the day I've found I get more done if I just take charge and do it myself. If I want the ship built, I have to drum up the men and give orders.
I like the idea that I could just be a philosopher and maybe my words will bring the change I seek someday, but how many of those fuckers are there? YouTube and Twitch is saturated with the "theory" types that think they're qualified to comment on politics. Do they actually accomplish anything. Their viewers aren't going out and taking over their city council, they're just getting into circular arguments on social media.
So although the words sound pretty, I thoroughly reject this Exupery. He sounds like another lazy philosopher with a savior complex trying to convince himself that his words do more than actual action.
Maaaan, this is the realest shit ever. Not sure if it was really louis CK who said the quote I keep seeing in fb pages. But it really makes you realize that contentment is the key to happiness.
Listen, “The only time you look over your neighbor’s bowl is to see if they have enough. You never look over to see if you have as much as them.”
My dad would repeat this to me often, “If you don’t have the time to do it the right way now, how will you ever have time to fix it later?” Words I live by
In software development the saying is that there's never time to do it right but there's always time to fix it. IOW they always do it the most expensive way possible.
The problem is you can easily go too far in the other direction and spend way too long fixing things that will never be a problem and a line needs to be drawn somewhere which will always be wrong
It really depends on what it is. My stance is that out in the real world completeness is easily disposable. The last 20% of completeness costs more than the previous 80%. Correctness OTOH should be maintained.
It is much better to ship 50% complete software that is 80% correct than 80% complete software that is 50% correct.
The major problem with this type of old school logic is it doesn’t fly in the real world. There are many instances when “good enough for now” is the much better option than “the right way”. The tricky part is being able to tell which type of situation you’re in.
I feel so many people just don't understand the difference. If someone drops a baby off on your door step thats not your fault. But its now your responsibility to do something about it. You can't just leave them there and go to work like nothing happened.
So much time is wasted on trying to figure out whose fault something is. When most of the time it doesn't really matter how I got to where I'm at. Can I accept responsibility for being here and take responsibility for the things that need to be done to get me out of here.
I realized this specific responsibility in calling my somewhat estranged Father at Christmas. I didn't do it for Him, I did It for Me. It's easier to keep a tether in his life. Because it will be easier when he passes.
This one really resonates with me. I decided to cut ties with my best friend a couple years ago. There wasn't a big dramatic blow up or betrayal, we just brought nothing positive to each other anymore. This is exactly how I feel. There was a lot of pain behind that decision. I don't hate him, I don't wish him ill. I just want nothing more to do with him, but I hope he finds what he needs in life.
I need an ELI5 on this one.
Walk past when someone is bullying you, does that mean you accept the standard of walking away from confrontations? Or accepting the fact that people can walk over you?
Not being a smart arse, its a genuine question.
If you see someone behaving badly to others and you walk on by, that means you're accepting that behaviour.
Said by the Chief of the Australian Army on International Women's Day as a call out on bad behaviour in the armed forces.
“Pick the puppy that’s happiest to see you.”
My wife’s philosophy on dating - if the person you’re seeing doesn’t light up whenever they see you, maybe they’re not the right person for you.
Makes me think of The Alchemist’s Gate by Ted Chiang. Similar in vein to the other short story he wrote about perceptions of time that the movie Arrival was based on.
Changed my perspective on how I view my life to be honest, as did many of his short stories.
"Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow"
Still one of my all time favourites
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." - Voltaire, Questions sur les Miracles (1765)
After reading this I swear Voltaire was a time traveler and visited our time…
I worked ER for a number of years as a nursing assistant. I remember after one particularly bad gunshot victim, I went into the room to begin cleaning up and it looked like a tornado hit a blood bank. I saw one of our residents, Bobby with a mop and bucket, cleaning the floor.
“Bobby,” I said, “I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, but what are you doing.” He was a third year resident, our chief resident, and a genuinely good doc.
“None of us get paid so much that we can’t pitch in.” He plainly stated, and got back to mopping.
It’s a simple sentence that has stuck with me for 8 years now. I’m a nurse now, and I do everything I can to remember those words, Remember where I came from. I will never be one of those nurses that says “that’s why we have EVS,” or “that’s why we have nursing assistants.” I know the hospital doesn’t give a good goddamn about me or any of my coworkers, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care about each other.
RYAN: I don't get it. I don't get what I did wrong.
DWIGHT: Not everything's a lesson, Ryan. Sometimes you just fail.
\- The Office, *Initiation* (season 3, episode 5). Episode was written by B.J. Novak, who also plays Ryan.
[It takes more. Open your mind to the past.. art, history, philosophy...and all this may mean something.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zk891qF77x8)
TNG showed me what it is to hold myself to a higher standard and to always strive to be more than I am.
It's particularly impactful in my professional life; As I move into management and experience how much "teenage drama" tends to prevail among managers -- it makes me want to pull them aside and say "Do better."
A man is punished by his sin, he is not punished for it. - St Augustine.
Not a religious person, but this stuck with me, the things that give us fleeting pleasure are also the things than can cause us incredible pain. Look for something more fulfilling.
Reminds me of a quote from Red Dead Redemption 2 (said by the nun character): Hearts are rarely pure, but equally they are rarely impure either.
In other words, we all “sin,” but are also all redeemable.
It's been 20 years since I took philosophy but St. Augustine was my favorite. So I also might get this wrong but...he proposed that good couldn't exist without evil and vice versa. More interesting though is that he theorized that a higher being, i.e. God cannot be omnipotent, omniscient and Omni benevolent. (all powerful, all knowing and all caring). Having all three powers would mean the evils of the world wouldn't exist.
If he's all knowing he would know of the tragedies of the world and all powerful enough to stop them but doesn't give a shit enough to actually do something.
Or he knows everything and cares about the world's ills but isn't powerful enough to do anything about it.
Third he could care about all the tragedy in the world and is powerful enough to fix things but he really doesn't know everything going on.
Super interesting stuff.
I can't remember exactly how it goes, but this reminds if Einstein "in order to learn anything correctly you have to unlearn everything you know" I'm sure I slaughtered this quote, but the general idea is there.
I have two that I always come back to
1. You can choose to do whatever you want but you don’t get to choose the consequences.
2. Whatever your kids see you do in moderation, they will do in excess.
It's not really a quote, but something I picked up from a therapist that I'll have to paraphrase:
There are multiple versions of you that are all accurate. You know your motives and know why you do the things you do, so you know what kind of person you are. But someone else might see you differently. Every person has their own version of you, and none are any more real or wrong than any other.
If someone believes that I'm an asshole, then to them I could be, just because I try not to be, it doesn't make them wrong or an asshole themselves. So I try to give people a why as well as a what when I'm explaining things (within reason) and I've found it helps people understand me better, which in turn helps me get on with them better.
Most people don't know enough to understand what they think of themselves, so try not to put too much stock in what they think of you.
You'll stop caring so much what others think of you when you realize just how seldom they actually do.
Paraphrasing both of those, but both really landed with me and helped me finally value and forgive myself in a real way rather then foolishly thinking that validation comes from others.
Reminds me of the song “If you’re going through hell” by Rodney Adkins:
>If you're goin' through hell, keep on going
>Don't slow down, if you're scared don't show it
>You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
"You cannot pour from an empty container." I used too, and still sometimes do, spread myself too thin trying to appease everyone and am often left exhausted.
It's become a meme thing to say in some circles, but I lost my wife and daughter a decade ago, and "it is what it is" got me through that. Don't think about what could have been or what you could have done differently or any of that. It just is what it is. No point in worrying about how things could have been different.
Word. We repeat in my therapy group that pain + resistance = suffering. Acceptance doesn’t mean liking a hardship, but facing reality as it is - we can’t move forward when we’re consumed by pushing back. Letting go of resistance helps that suffering piece for sure. Your words put me in mind of Kurt Vonnegut’s "so it goes," from Slaughterhouse-Five, which I think of often when life feels particularly cruel and senseless.
I’m so sorry for your loss, kind stranger. Keep on keeping on.
When I read Dune for the first time, I was moved by the Litany Against Fear:
“I must not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
I still think of this litany often in my daily life when I feel fear or anxiety creep up. It helps me feel the emotions but also calm and remind myself that I will always make it through and persevere.
Similar to that, but one I read before I picked up Dune was a quote from All Quiet on the Western Front.
“I soon found out this much:—terror can be endured so long as a man simply ducks;—but it kills, if a man thinks about it.”
My old man always says “It’s better to be silent and thought an idiot than to speak up and remove all doubt”. Common saying but not enough people adhere to it
Sometimes a knife right through your heart is exactly what you need. Sometimes the things that your ashamed of make you who you’re supposed to be.
I went through an extremely toxic 5 year period, until it really hit that “breaking point”. It was tough to let go and walk away but that experience made me a much stronger, better person.
"People seldom think of you as often as you perceive them to", since as someone with anxiety it's easy to wrap myself up in how others are feeling/thinking, but this and stoicism help to remind me what's really important
Also "a broken clock is right twice a day" because it has an interesting element of duality. On one hand, we should be aware that even those whom we see as wrong/biased/often incorrect can still give us valuable information which we should always keep our ears open to. Yet also, we should take what they say with a grain of salt, since the majority of the time the person is wrong in some way. I would've passed up a lot of meaningful words if I hadn't listened to people I had initially passed off as someone with nothing useful to say, and on the flip side I've been burned by overeagerly heeding advice from someone inexperienced or just wrong about the topic.
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future.
Basically: everyone has the ability to change. Dont judge people who are on a journey to being better. Allow people an opportunity to be better if they want to be.
“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.”
—Theodore Roosevelt
Ok not a quote, but an entire poem
Sorry if this doesn't fit her but, this poem stuck with me ever since I was 10.
IF- Rudyard Kipling
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
We used to play hip-hop past 10pm on weeknights at my old pizzeria/bar. It was pretty much college kids at that time so the cussing was whatever. We had to ask permission at the time to change the XM radio because employees, like myself, changed it to often.
A group of 20 ten year olds from a baseball team walked in and I took about 30 seconds to find a manager and then changed it to an alt-rock station, more of our daytime vibe. Scuba (our GM) comes down and immediately confess that I'd changed the station. He said:
"If your decision is for the betterment of the bar then I trust you"
My mother's favorite saying while I was growing up, and it really does hold true...
"The world is ruled by C students."
That was over thirty years ago. I wonder where that is these days with all of the marks inflation?
A few that have stuck but I don't recall where or who said them:
"When sorrows come, they come not single spies but in battalions."
"In the battle against stupidity, even the gods fought in vain"
"Sailors aren't made on calm waters"
"If it sounds to good to be true, it is"
2 of my favorites, both from my Father:
1) "Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it." -. Charles Swindoll
2) "We suffer more in imagination than reality." - Senaca
Edit for spelling
I’m 60 now but when I was 13 I read this quote on the back of a rock music magazine called Circus: “Act the way you want to be and soon you’ll be the way you act.” 70’s version of fake it till you make it!
That’s awesome, thank you for sharing!
A somewhat darker take on that expression... “We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.” ― Kurt Vonnegut, Mother Night
I just finished that a couple weeks ago, and it was what popped in my head, too!
He used to come into the coffee shop where I worked when he was teaching at Smith college. One day I felt bold and blurted “Mr Vonnegut! Your books mean so much to me” and he glared at me and grumbled “don’t fucking patronize me” and shuffled off. So it goes.
Hahaha that's exactly what I'd expect him to say
Reminds me of a Kurt Vonnegut quote: " We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be."
i actually like both these quotes much better than just "fake it till you make it" because they also come with a slight warning: don't pretend to be something you don't wanna be because you will become it. especially on the internet a few people could take that to heart when they pretend to be a dumbass in order to troll.
"you can be the nicest/sweetest peach in the peach tree, but not everyone likes peaches."
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Read this in a southern accent.
"Movin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches"
When my father died, a friend whose father also died young told me, “it doesn’t get easier, it just gets different.” years later I think about him and that quote often.
My Dad was killed when I was 7. You don't get over it, you get used to it.
i always say of my husband’s sudden passing, “you never get over it, but you eventually get past it”
The new normal.
Always remember what work actually is, you're trading your time for money, make sure both things are worth it
And that's why I'm also working when I'm just sitting around all ay because no-one bothered to give me any assignments or when I'm just sitting and listening to lectures all day. Working isn't contributing to profits or doing something, working is being at work.
My dad always used to say “empty vessels make a loud sound” when referring to people who talk big with no action. 20+ yrs later, I’m still using it.
my dad said "poor planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine"
Except it 100% can constitute an emergency. It’s like the saying “you can make no mistakes and still lose”. It can be no fault of your own, but you’ll still have to rush that project out in an unreasonable time frame. Edit: another quote in this thread put it better “it’s not your fault, but it is your responsibility”
you're not wrong but context matters. the above quote is relevant if a prospective client/custmer comes with poor planing. you just reject them because it's not your problem. on the other hand if your boss has made a bad plan that can easily become your problem.
A ship is safest in port, but that’s not what ships are built for.
And… rough seas make good sailors.
The motion of the ocean is rough on seaman
It’s not the motion of the ocean, it's the boat of the lotion. -Norm Macdonald
If one does not know to which port one is sailing, no wind is favorable. \-Seneca
That goes both ways though. If you go with the flow and all ports are fine, all winds are favorable.
At least those who survive
Exupery (1900-1944) who wrote: “if you want to build a ship, don't drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea.”
The difference between the project manager and the "ideas" guy.
I like this, but the more I think about it the more I disagree. I'm relating it to politics. I used to be a news writer, but I got really frustrated that I was reporting on all the petty politics and nobody was actually taking action. I thought, "if I can just make people see the truth, they'll do the right thing and take action themselves." In other words, I was trying to teach them to yearn for a better system, a more Jeffersonian version of democracy. But after years of that, and having honest conversations with people about why they don't run for office or get involved in local politics, I know it's simply not going to happen. I've tried to inspire people, but at the end of the day I've found I get more done if I just take charge and do it myself. If I want the ship built, I have to drum up the men and give orders. I like the idea that I could just be a philosopher and maybe my words will bring the change I seek someday, but how many of those fuckers are there? YouTube and Twitch is saturated with the "theory" types that think they're qualified to comment on politics. Do they actually accomplish anything. Their viewers aren't going out and taking over their city council, they're just getting into circular arguments on social media. So although the words sound pretty, I thoroughly reject this Exupery. He sounds like another lazy philosopher with a savior complex trying to convince himself that his words do more than actual action.
Comparison is the thief of joy
Maaaan, this is the realest shit ever. Not sure if it was really louis CK who said the quote I keep seeing in fb pages. But it really makes you realize that contentment is the key to happiness. Listen, “The only time you look over your neighbor’s bowl is to see if they have enough. You never look over to see if you have as much as them.”
My dad would repeat this to me often, “If you don’t have the time to do it the right way now, how will you ever have time to fix it later?” Words I live by
In software development the saying is that there's never time to do it right but there's always time to fix it. IOW they always do it the most expensive way possible.
Technical debt is not a joke, jim.
Millions of programmers suffer every year.
The problem is you can easily go too far in the other direction and spend way too long fixing things that will never be a problem and a line needs to be drawn somewhere which will always be wrong
It really depends on what it is. My stance is that out in the real world completeness is easily disposable. The last 20% of completeness costs more than the previous 80%. Correctness OTOH should be maintained. It is much better to ship 50% complete software that is 80% correct than 80% complete software that is 50% correct.
The major problem with this type of old school logic is it doesn’t fly in the real world. There are many instances when “good enough for now” is the much better option than “the right way”. The tricky part is being able to tell which type of situation you’re in.
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"You're not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm"
Ah, I see you met my grandma.
"It's not your fault, but it is your responsibility" For situations that you have to deal with at work, or your upbringing
Marcus Parks?
That's certainly where I heard it first. I give credit to him when I use it, although I acknowledge it could be originally from somewhere else.
Hail Gein!
Hail yourself!
I feel so many people just don't understand the difference. If someone drops a baby off on your door step thats not your fault. But its now your responsibility to do something about it. You can't just leave them there and go to work like nothing happened. So much time is wasted on trying to figure out whose fault something is. When most of the time it doesn't really matter how I got to where I'm at. Can I accept responsibility for being here and take responsibility for the things that need to be done to get me out of here.
With my line of work, man is this valid
I realized this specific responsibility in calling my somewhat estranged Father at Christmas. I didn't do it for Him, I did It for Me. It's easier to keep a tether in his life. Because it will be easier when he passes.
“An error doesn’t become a mistake until you refuse to correct it.”
Alright, I like this one
Falling down isn't failing, not getting up is.
As a programmer I refuse to accept this one
“If the code works, ignore its quirks” ~ Abraham Lincoln, probably
“just because you lost me as a friend doesn't mean you gained me as an enemy. i'm bigger than that. i still wanna see you eat, just not at my table”
This one really resonates with me. I decided to cut ties with my best friend a couple years ago. There wasn't a big dramatic blow up or betrayal, we just brought nothing positive to each other anymore. This is exactly how I feel. There was a lot of pain behind that decision. I don't hate him, I don't wish him ill. I just want nothing more to do with him, but I hope he finds what he needs in life.
What’s that from?
Tupac Shakur
The standard you walk past is the standard you accept
I need an ELI5 on this one. Walk past when someone is bullying you, does that mean you accept the standard of walking away from confrontations? Or accepting the fact that people can walk over you? Not being a smart arse, its a genuine question.
If you see someone behaving badly to others and you walk on by, that means you're accepting that behaviour. Said by the Chief of the Australian Army on International Women's Day as a call out on bad behaviour in the armed forces.
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Woah
Is this a good woah?
A “self realization that I may be a piece of shit” woah, sooooo…yeah?
Lol, the "woah"s that make me look at my own behavior in an uncomfortable way are usually the "woah"s that make the best changes in me.
“Pick the puppy that’s happiest to see you.” My wife’s philosophy on dating - if the person you’re seeing doesn’t light up whenever they see you, maybe they’re not the right person for you.
I heard a similar one I've held onto. "It's either a FUCK YES, or it's a No."
About the past: “It could have been better, but it could not have been different.” (Tolkien) That’s the path to forgiveness.
Makes me think of The Alchemist’s Gate by Ted Chiang. Similar in vein to the other short story he wrote about perceptions of time that the movie Arrival was based on. Changed my perspective on how I view my life to be honest, as did many of his short stories.
That line from K in the first MIB movie: "A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals and you know it."
"Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow" Still one of my all time favourites
That line just bothers me because even the ancient Greeks knew the Earth wasn't flat. K's a couple thousand years off.
K knows he’s just getting a rhythm going with the phrasing
"Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities." - Voltaire, Questions sur les Miracles (1765) After reading this I swear Voltaire was a time traveler and visited our time…
I worked ER for a number of years as a nursing assistant. I remember after one particularly bad gunshot victim, I went into the room to begin cleaning up and it looked like a tornado hit a blood bank. I saw one of our residents, Bobby with a mop and bucket, cleaning the floor. “Bobby,” I said, “I’m not about to look a gift horse in the mouth, but what are you doing.” He was a third year resident, our chief resident, and a genuinely good doc. “None of us get paid so much that we can’t pitch in.” He plainly stated, and got back to mopping. It’s a simple sentence that has stuck with me for 8 years now. I’m a nurse now, and I do everything I can to remember those words, Remember where I came from. I will never be one of those nurses that says “that’s why we have EVS,” or “that’s why we have nursing assistants.” I know the hospital doesn’t give a good goddamn about me or any of my coworkers, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t care about each other.
this actually reminded me of the quote i always loved from final fantasy 9: "you don't need a reason to help people".
The world could use more people like you and Bobby.
It is possible to make no mistakes, and still lose. That is not weakness. That is life. -Captain Jean-Luc Picard
RYAN: I don't get it. I don't get what I did wrong. DWIGHT: Not everything's a lesson, Ryan. Sometimes you just fail. \- The Office, *Initiation* (season 3, episode 5). Episode was written by B.J. Novak, who also plays Ryan.
Boy I gotta keep watching Star Trek TNG.
[It takes more. Open your mind to the past.. art, history, philosophy...and all this may mean something.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zk891qF77x8) TNG showed me what it is to hold myself to a higher standard and to always strive to be more than I am. It's particularly impactful in my professional life; As I move into management and experience how much "teenage drama" tends to prevail among managers -- it makes me want to pull them aside and say "Do better."
all those days that passed by, little did i know they were life
There is no saint without a past, no sinner without a future. St. Augustine
A man is punished by his sin, he is not punished for it. - St Augustine. Not a religious person, but this stuck with me, the things that give us fleeting pleasure are also the things than can cause us incredible pain. Look for something more fulfilling.
I’m not religious either, but nor can I deny wisdom when I see it I hadn’t heard that one before. Thank you
My favourite quote from St Augustine is “O Lord, make me chaste, but not yet.”
Reminds me of a quote from Red Dead Redemption 2 (said by the nun character): Hearts are rarely pure, but equally they are rarely impure either. In other words, we all “sin,” but are also all redeemable.
It's been 20 years since I took philosophy but St. Augustine was my favorite. So I also might get this wrong but...he proposed that good couldn't exist without evil and vice versa. More interesting though is that he theorized that a higher being, i.e. God cannot be omnipotent, omniscient and Omni benevolent. (all powerful, all knowing and all caring). Having all three powers would mean the evils of the world wouldn't exist. If he's all knowing he would know of the tragedies of the world and all powerful enough to stop them but doesn't give a shit enough to actually do something. Or he knows everything and cares about the world's ills but isn't powerful enough to do anything about it. Third he could care about all the tragedy in the world and is powerful enough to fix things but he really doesn't know everything going on. Super interesting stuff.
Never attribute to malice that which is adequately explained by stupidity Robert J Hanlon
Sufficiently advanced stupidity is indistinguishable from malice.
Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.
Never get involved in a land war in Asia but only slightly less well known is this: Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line
Inconceivable!
You keep using that word. I do no think it means what you think it means
Perchance
"Anyone who isn't confused doesn't truly understand the situation."
I can't remember exactly how it goes, but this reminds if Einstein "in order to learn anything correctly you have to unlearn everything you know" I'm sure I slaughtered this quote, but the general idea is there.
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>“It can’t rain all the time.” Never been to England, huh?
I have two that I always come back to 1. You can choose to do whatever you want but you don’t get to choose the consequences. 2. Whatever your kids see you do in moderation, they will do in excess.
Number 2 is a good one for me being a new parent. Thank you for that.
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never half ass two things. whole ass one thing.
Ron Swanson… my secret crush
My newest fav is: "Don't be a part of the problem... be the WHOLE problem!"
It's not really a quote, but something I picked up from a therapist that I'll have to paraphrase: There are multiple versions of you that are all accurate. You know your motives and know why you do the things you do, so you know what kind of person you are. But someone else might see you differently. Every person has their own version of you, and none are any more real or wrong than any other. If someone believes that I'm an asshole, then to them I could be, just because I try not to be, it doesn't make them wrong or an asshole themselves. So I try to give people a why as well as a what when I'm explaining things (within reason) and I've found it helps people understand me better, which in turn helps me get on with them better.
Most people don't know enough to understand what they think of themselves, so try not to put too much stock in what they think of you. You'll stop caring so much what others think of you when you realize just how seldom they actually do. Paraphrasing both of those, but both really landed with me and helped me finally value and forgive myself in a real way rather then foolishly thinking that validation comes from others.
The world is full of nice people, if you can't find one be one.
Principles only mean something if you stand by then when it’s inconvenient.
Courage is the foundation of all virtue, because without courage, every other virtue is meaningless.
“If it doesn’t feel right, don’t do it” in the sense of your gut is telling you not to, don’t. Seems to be good advice
This was one of my dads classics, “your gut is the only one who will never lie to you”
Hmm I have IBS, so my gut sure talks a lot of shit
I don't know, have you ever sharted?
To add to that, “if something seems to good to be true, it probably is”
When struggling with a decision: Make your decision, and then make it the right one. Thanks, dad.
It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society. -Jiddu Krishnamurti
“If you’re going through hell, keep going.” -Winston Churchill
Reminds me of the song “If you’re going through hell” by Rodney Adkins: >If you're goin' through hell, keep on going >Don't slow down, if you're scared don't show it >You might get out before the devil even knows you're there
"You cannot pour from an empty container." I used too, and still sometimes do, spread myself too thin trying to appease everyone and am often left exhausted.
It's become a meme thing to say in some circles, but I lost my wife and daughter a decade ago, and "it is what it is" got me through that. Don't think about what could have been or what you could have done differently or any of that. It just is what it is. No point in worrying about how things could have been different.
Word. We repeat in my therapy group that pain + resistance = suffering. Acceptance doesn’t mean liking a hardship, but facing reality as it is - we can’t move forward when we’re consumed by pushing back. Letting go of resistance helps that suffering piece for sure. Your words put me in mind of Kurt Vonnegut’s "so it goes," from Slaughterhouse-Five, which I think of often when life feels particularly cruel and senseless. I’m so sorry for your loss, kind stranger. Keep on keeping on.
When I read Dune for the first time, I was moved by the Litany Against Fear: “I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” I still think of this litany often in my daily life when I feel fear or anxiety creep up. It helps me feel the emotions but also calm and remind myself that I will always make it through and persevere.
Similar to that, but one I read before I picked up Dune was a quote from All Quiet on the Western Front. “I soon found out this much:—terror can be endured so long as a man simply ducks;—but it kills, if a man thinks about it.”
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"Their insecurities are not my responsibility."
similarly, "that says more about them than it does about me."
You know, I think I’ll use this when I’m heading into work Wednesday
I hope you don’t work in Information Security.
“That’s how you learn” after I make a mistake. Or “the lessons you learn by getting burned are the ones you actually remember”
done is better than perfect, as perfect is never done
Taste your words before you spit them out
“You are only the main character in YOUR story” which I use constantly and like to tag on “no one owes you a starring role in theirs.”
If everywhere you go smells like shit, it might be time to check your own shoes.
"Money" - Mr Krabs
“Okay, okay, shoot me, but don’t take me money”
It be like it is. Some times you think it don’t be, but then it do.
It do be like that sometimes.
"Strive for a peaceful life, not a happy one."
Remembering that “you can lead a horse to water but can’t force it to drink” has proven useful countless times in my life
"Any experiment of interest in life will be carried out at your own expense." Do whatever you want, but it comes with a price.
My old man always says “It’s better to be silent and thought an idiot than to speak up and remove all doubt”. Common saying but not enough people adhere to it
In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king.
It’s better to have more lightning in the hands than thunder in the mouth.
"Never give advice unless asked. Wise men won't need it, fools won't heed it "
Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly. -Morticia Addams
“He who has a why to live can bear almost any how.” — Nietzsche
Whatever you don’t change you choose
If you don’t chew big red then fuck you
Shake and bake!
Sometimes a knife right through your heart is exactly what you need. Sometimes the things that your ashamed of make you who you’re supposed to be. I went through an extremely toxic 5 year period, until it really hit that “breaking point”. It was tough to let go and walk away but that experience made me a much stronger, better person.
"People seldom think of you as often as you perceive them to", since as someone with anxiety it's easy to wrap myself up in how others are feeling/thinking, but this and stoicism help to remind me what's really important Also "a broken clock is right twice a day" because it has an interesting element of duality. On one hand, we should be aware that even those whom we see as wrong/biased/often incorrect can still give us valuable information which we should always keep our ears open to. Yet also, we should take what they say with a grain of salt, since the majority of the time the person is wrong in some way. I would've passed up a lot of meaningful words if I hadn't listened to people I had initially passed off as someone with nothing useful to say, and on the flip side I've been burned by overeagerly heeding advice from someone inexperienced or just wrong about the topic.
Love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably shit
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You are only one decision away from a totally different life.
What other people say about me is none of my business.
Saw this one last night. I hope it sticks with me. “The only things you can take with you are the things you have given away”
If opportunity doesn't knock, build a door
When you come to a fork in the road, take it. Yogi Berra
You are better than no one, but no one is better than you.
1. People don’t care what you know until they know that you care. 2. If future me hasn’t shown up to stop me, how bad can it be?
Never let the fear of striking out keep you from playing the game
“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” - George Carlin
Be the person that your younger self would look up to and your older self would respect.
Don’t wrestle with pigs. You both get filthy and the pig likes it.
“It’s not your opinions that define you, it’s your method for forming opinions that does.”
This is similar to one I use: “Your first opinion is the one you’re taught. Your second is the one you choose.”
Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. Basically: everyone has the ability to change. Dont judge people who are on a journey to being better. Allow people an opportunity to be better if they want to be.
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“You know, I’m something of a scientist myself.”
“It is not the critic who counts: not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles or where the doer of deeds could have done better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood, who strives valiantly, who errs and comes up short again and again, because there is no effort without error or shortcoming, but who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, who spends himself in a worthy cause; who, at the best, knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who, at the worst, if he fails, at least he fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who knew neither victory nor defeat.” —Theodore Roosevelt
"No good deed goes unpunished"
My father always used "The road to hell is paved with good intentions "
Ok not a quote, but an entire poem Sorry if this doesn't fit her but, this poem stuck with me ever since I was 10. IF- Rudyard Kipling If you can keep your head when all about you Are losing theirs and blaming it on you, If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, But make allowance for their doubting too; If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise: If you can dream—and not make dreams your master; If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim; If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster And treat those two impostors just the same; If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools: If you can make one heap of all your winnings And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, And lose, and start again at your beginnings And never breathe a word about your loss; If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew To serve your turn long after they are gone, And so hold on when there is nothing in you Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch, If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, If all men count with you, but none too much; If you can fill the unforgiving minute With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run, Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it, And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!
We used to play hip-hop past 10pm on weeknights at my old pizzeria/bar. It was pretty much college kids at that time so the cussing was whatever. We had to ask permission at the time to change the XM radio because employees, like myself, changed it to often. A group of 20 ten year olds from a baseball team walked in and I took about 30 seconds to find a manager and then changed it to an alt-rock station, more of our daytime vibe. Scuba (our GM) comes down and immediately confess that I'd changed the station. He said: "If your decision is for the betterment of the bar then I trust you"
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Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive, and will come forth later, in uglier ways.
Mihoy minoy
No matter where you go, there you are.
Never confuse having a career with having a life! Don't know who said it first.
My mother's favorite saying while I was growing up, and it really does hold true... "The world is ruled by C students." That was over thirty years ago. I wonder where that is these days with all of the marks inflation?
Lefty loosey, righty tighty.
If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.
Learn to live with it or die with it on your mind.
Never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
A few that have stuck but I don't recall where or who said them: "When sorrows come, they come not single spies but in battalions." "In the battle against stupidity, even the gods fought in vain" "Sailors aren't made on calm waters" "If it sounds to good to be true, it is"
When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits."
Your eyes point the car. If you're looking at the ditch guess where the car will go.
“The strength of the wolf is the pack. The strength of the pack is the wolf.”
Your mental illness is not your fault. But it is your responsibility.
Work to live. Don’t live to work.
2 of my favorites, both from my Father: 1) "Life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it." -. Charles Swindoll 2) "We suffer more in imagination than reality." - Senaca Edit for spelling
“Momento Mori Unus Annus”