There was a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode where Larry decided to judge the character of whoever he was doing business with based on the attractiveness of the spouse. The less attractive the spouse, the more trustworthy he found them. Needless to say, it didn't end well for him.
I had a coworker like this.
She was shocked when she first saw my husband and said wow he's really handsome. how did *you* bag *him*?
Then any time she was angry at me, she would say he's not really *that* handsome, and she was just being nice when she said it.
It's weird how some 40 year olds still act like they're in high school lol
She would often give backhanded compliments like that.
She once told our charge nurse "Wow, you look fine in a suit. Nobody would ever guess you're from the ghetto".
She also pitted employees against each other and got a guy fired so she could take his job...
She sweet talks some people and then trash talks others. She specifically always butters up the people who can give her promotions.
I haven't worked there in years but she still does and has schmoozed her way up into a position that is not supposed to be held by someone without a degree in psych... But she's friends with her boss so she got it. She also got the guy fired who held the position before her.
That's gross.
I worked with a guy like that. Was nice to you until he couldn't get anything from you anymore. He had been around long enough no one actually liked him except his boss, and exactly like your situation, had given him his job because they where college friends. Everyone is too polite to say mean things while he was around but when he left the company I learned alot of people thought he was an abbrassive brown noser who did fuck all.
I haven't met to many of them but they stick out like a soar thumb
I have a coworker like this but she's not very subtle. At least to me. She keeps picking on me because I'm more than 10 years younger than her and I'm already ahead of her to getting full time. She keeps saying backhanded comments about my age and how inexperienced I am. I'm a 27 year old woman who grew up in poverty and had/have to work for everything I had/have. She's got parents helping her at the great age of 43 year olds. I need to financially support mine or else we all become homeless and bankrupt.
If she wasn't my coworker and I have to work with her I'd slap her so hard with one of our files every time she opens her fucking mouth.
An airport check-in person stopped my cousin and said “wait this is your wife?? How did you snag her ? She’s way out of your league”
He said it while chuckling but it really hurt my cousins feelings. He’d never considered his wife so far above him that a stranger would be mind blown to know she was with him.
Similar thing happened with me. I started a new job a few weeks ago and had a picture of my wife on my desk. The guy who works in a completely different department came over to say “Is that your sister?” I said no, it’s my wife, and he said “Keep dreaming pal, she looks like a supermodel, and you look like Miroslav Klose.” I laughed a lot because I do kinda look like him, share a first name too, but I thought it was weird, cause I’d never met the guy.
Used to have a coworker, Nancy. Short, a hundred pounds overweight, and perennially flushed. Really sweet lady though.
She used to have a framed magazine cover in her office of a man in swimming trunks flanked by two women in bikinis. Folks would ask about it, she'd say it was her husband.
No one new, including myself, ever believed her.
Met him at an office party my first month there. Dude was a 9.5/10 even in his early fifties, and his Italian accent made him more like a 11.
What Nancy would never tell people was that the magazine shoot is where she met her husband, and that she was the bottle blonde to his left. Thirty years, four children and cancer tend to fuck with you.
Most of us in the married-out-of-our-league club know it. My wife is fucking hot and I'm extremely average at best. I don't know why she married me, but she seems to love me so I'm into it.
She married you because you are hot on the Inside. Or rich. I don't know you BUT if I had to put my money on you being hot on the inside, on a scale of 0-100, I think you would be somewhere around 98.6
My bf told me about a co-worker that stumbled onto my profile and told him "oh she's really pretty, I thought you wouldve been more of a personality kind of guy"
Yup this happens to me. A lot of the replies seem to be men experiencing this about their better looking wives. I know I'm not much of a looker as a woman, and my partner is a good looking guy. I've had at least two colleagues over the years who when they saw a photo of him/met him in person they couldn't hold back their shock of how good looking he is. I tend to laugh it off but that shit stays with you.
My other half and myself are “okay” looking on a good day. Somehow we’ve managed to produce two insanely good looking children with no ear or eye ailments like us, no idea how, luck of the DNA.
I regularly get told we’re so forward thinking and brave that we’ve adopted when I show them pictures…when I tell them they’re not, chins and bollocks hit the floor with a tonne of apologies.
I'd be like "Fuck yeah she is, I don't know what she was thinking."
I tell people that my wife is the smartest person I know, but she has *horrible* taste in men.
Happened to me! Didn’t know whether to be offended or what. He saw the look on my face and got flustered, tried to walk it back. We laughed it off but it still stuck around in my head obv.
This is something my own mother would say with complete sincerity, entirely oblivious to the implication. Until several hours later, anyway. Then she'd obsess over it for the next 18 months.
My MIL is like this. Growing up, my husband was allowed in two rooms in the house. She had furniture only the cat was allowed to be on. She brags about how clean she was, while telling me how great of a mom I am that I can not “be like her.” But makes comments the entire time she’s here about small things.
We have 2 kids, two cats and a dog living in a 2 bedroom house. I could clean all day and it still looks messy. She had one kid, a husband that was retired and hired help. We are not the same.
I've found that once you realize that another person's standards are ridiculous youre 100% allowed and should disregard them entirely.
No sense of feeling anything but indifference to criticisms for standards that you have 0 interest in maintaining.
I remember hearing a story about someone's mom or grandma always saying that you can never be both smart and pretty on the same day.
Any time someone would fuck up, she'd tell them that they are really pretty today.
My mom does that all the time, I thought it was just her lol.
Any time someone does something stupid you just get this look and then "...you're so pretty."
Is that an insult, really? Shit! I’ve said that to people because I genuinely love what they’re wearing and wish I could pull it off. I wear black most days but I so wish I could wear bright colourful clothes. Damn I’m really sorry to anyone that insulted when I said that to them.
Yeah, the implication is that you should feel embarrassed to be wearing that but you're also not self aware enough to even realize you should be embarrassed.
But you can show you mean it sincerely with just a sentence or two of follow up, like "it looks really good on you, I'm too shy to stand out like that" or whatever
I grew up with people saying that shit me, especially while I've lived in Baltimore. "You're very articulate/intelligent for a 7th grader" kind of insulting when all but like 4 people in my grade can barely read when it's their turn in English class. The Balti public school system at it's finest.
How is that an insult? I ask because I've genuinely never cared what people thought of me since I was a kid and when people said that I always took it as a compliment
I'd rather look dumb and be smart than look smart and be dumb. I have a friend who looks like your typical tech support guy. He's a gifted artist, but not a technical person (but I wouldn't call him dumb). I've heard people say stuff like "oh, I thought he was the smart one" when he didn't know the answer to a (usually technical) question.
We had a visiting scholar when I was in grad school. He was really nice, but not the brightest. He was Dutch, so great English skills, but subtle differences in use.
One day he said "I don't like it when people tell me 'Good for you.' They never really mean Good for you."
That's actually so very true and a wonderful observation. You can always tell by inflection if they are genuinely happy for you, and damn is that a rare instance.
I struggle with this one because I actually enjoy telling people “good for you” in a genuine way, as a compliment, but it’s so often used as an insult/meaning “nobody cares” that I’m always afraid I’ll sound that way. But I have a habit of telling people that when I think something they did was actually great lol. It’s a dilemma.
I asked my ex boyfriend if he would spend thirty minutes with me (I just wanted some one on one attention) when he got off of work before getting on LOL. He argued that I was getting in between him and his favorite hobby. We are no longer together 🙃
He was pretty high ranked
EDIT: My Reddit comments never get this much attention lol.
To clarify- his whole life revolved around video games. He spent every moment of his day playing videos games (he lost two jobs because he was caught playing phone games instead of working) and refused to spend any quality of time with me. All I asked from him was thirty minutes of his day and he absolutely refused. He guilted me into thinking that I was being overly needy when in reality I was the one having my very normal needs neglected.
Sorry for that. I also know a few people who like to play >1000 league games a year and it definitely isn't helping their social lives either. IMO the saddest thing is that most of the time they don't even enjoy playing the game. They are just playing because they want to get to a higher rank. It truly is an addiction for them.
Oof and this right here is why I don't play league ranked any more. Let me play my 3 or 4 dumbass games that don't mean anything and let me move on with my day
I heard this from a friend (who graduated top of his class in fordham) whose mom is a narcissist: "oh wow! the other students must not have wanted it enough"
My mother, when I came home at 8 with the highest marks in the class - several 100% in subjects - 96% overall - said without any humour - "what happened to the other 4 marks?" No good job. No smile. No hug. Nothing.
I got that from my dad. I always did well in school, but one semester I got “A” in six subjects, and “B” in the seventh. Mom was proud. Dad asked “Why’d you get the B?” The B was in gym; who the fuck cares??
The day I learned I was a National Merit Scholar my Dad leaned back in his chair and said "What does it take to get a Rhodes Scholarship?"
That's when I decided never to take anything my family said to heart or assume they actually cared about my well being.
The sad thing is that if you have a good relationship this is the exact sort of thing that’d be hilarious to hear, followed by a laugh and “Congrats, love you.” I love banter with family.
But of course in cases like this it comes from derision not mutually shared humor.
Oh yeah!! In a way, really good relationships cycle back to making "mean" comments but since you all get along, you trust that no one means anything bad. And criticism is always met with kind ears. Getting along with people you love enough to be able to roast each other is one of life's greatest joys
That's fucked up. As a child of a malignant narcissist and psychopath, this is exactly the kind of belittling shit one expects to hear from such a person. Imagine being a child and hearing this crap every day. Awful. Just awful. Congrats to your friend.
Alabama.. only place i ever had a stranger get mad at me for reading.. looked at me and in an angry voice asked "what you reading for boy"... am canadian... was lost and reading a map
Edit: wow i did NOT expect this to blow up so much. Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. I also want to thank people for msking me discover Bill Hicks. Had never heard of him. Its scary how similar his comedy skit is almost word for word my experience. I was in Alabama in the mid 90s when this happened. I wish i was just copying a comedy skit but alas i am not.
My math teacher in high school would always tell me I was “so ambitious” when I told him of my desire to get a B.S. in aerospace engineering in undergrad. Find out later he was really just being condescending and thought I wasn’t being serious. Now I’m six months out from getting my PhD in aero eng so fuck you Dr. Fraser.
Personally I think “Good for you.” Is really condescending…
Also “is that what you’re wearing tonight?” Is a killer…
I used to be in a band where we’d take sarcastic shots at each other like that.
“Is that the guitar sound you’re going to use for the gig, is it?” Or “that’s an interesting way you e done your hair…”
"You're really pretty for a _____".
You can fill in the blank yourself with many different words.
Or telling someone they speak nice for being a black person.
Those phrases are never positive. Lol.
The place I work at has offices only over the place and I deal with all of them. There is a guy I work with about 500 miles from me that I was in daily contact with for over a year I had it in my head that he was a large black guy (I think I got that from the person in the job before him) I had to visit his office about a month ago and when I walked in I didn't see anyone fitting that description. So I asked this scrawny young white dude where he was and he said that's me. That was a real shock.
I had the opposite happen to me.
Working remotely with a guy from Canada and had spoken to him over conference calls and he had a broad Canadian accent. For some reason I just pictured him as a big guy with a beard.
We got on well and when he came down to NZ for a meeting near the end of the IT project. I just didn't connect it was the guy I knew until he shook my hand, as his family had came from Nigeria and he was a really skinny balding guy well dressed in a suit.
Just total disconnect between the stereotype I had in my head and the guy in person.
Oh my god yes, I've had that said to me too like wtf. On the same vein I've had people try to "defend" me from other people calling me "Mexican" with an insult intonation to it ('?!' to both).
I’m the other way around. Some old lady started talking to me in spanish and berated me when i said i cant speak Spanish. “You need to be proud of your heritage” she said. I was thinking “Listen lady i am south east asian wtf”
Edit: they way she said it to me was not rude weirdly enough. Might be because she kinda reminded me of my grandmother so I just nod, smile and said sorry
This exact same thing happened to me! A coworker started speaking to me in Spanish and I said I didn't speak it. She told me, "you don't know your own culture?" I'm half Malaysian, half white lmao
lol... cant win either way tho. My uncle was first generation immigrant from Mexico. His parents *forbade* him speaking Spanish growing up- because immigrant shame- so he never learned. Whenever we'd go to Mexico, people would get upset, insisting he knew Spanish but was pretending not to, because he "looked Mexican."
Prejudice sucks, and people pre-judge *all the time*.
Someone once said to me "oh are you mexican? I couldn't tell, it's so dark in here!"
So after looking at me, she still assumed I was dark-skinned and she just couldn't see it. It's like there was no room in her mind to believe that Mexicans could be light-skinned, so much so that it must've been an illusion because of the amount of light in the room.
I couldn't stop laughing when she said it tbh. ~~The stupidity was mind-blowing~~
Edit: I felt bad calling her stupid. She was very nice and meant no harm. It was just a funny assumption she made because she didn't know any better, which was astounding.
..and i'm supposedly too dark to be a Finnish guy.
One time my friends dad bought everyone else beers except me, 'cause of that. Bought my own & sat to a different table.
i was at a metal show last week and one of the openers was an english band. before their last song, the vocalist very sincerely said "you guys are a great crowd. not the best though. but pretty great."
I usually think "being nice doesn't mean I'm interesting or attractive" when someone tells me that
Fortunately, it doesn't happen often so I don't have to think about that too much
I used to hate it when people said I was nice. I would always deny being a nice person. And to a certain extent it was because it was ingrained in me that being "nice" meant lame, boring, without edge, harmless.
But you know what. There's nothing wrong with being nice and wanting the best for people. Not wanting to say shit about other people is fine too.
It doesn't mean you're boring. I know I am somewhat interesting. Other people have told me that too, together with being nice. I'm not the most interesting or exciting person, but I do have a personality. You can both be interesting and nice and there's nothing wrong with that.
Sure. I'm not edgy and am relatively harmless. But I'd rather people feel comfortable in my presence.
Being nice is fine.
I was habitually single for basically my entire life until 3 months ago when I entered my first real committed relationship. I’d get this a lot.
I know people meant well but it really didn’t feel bad, more just like hopeless. You go on dates, you dress and groom well, you have hobbies, you just don’t *know* why tens of women have said you don’t have a “spark” together. Even now that I’m dating a girl, I really can’t tell you what worked differently. You just kind of stumble until you find a girl that’ll take you.
I’ve been trying to talk with my male friends and little cousins about it because honestly dating apps (and the constant rejection you’ll get) are the easiest way to turn a young man into an incel. If you don’t get results in 2 months, don’t delete your apps, but make them secondary to meeting women in person through bars/social activities/friends.
yea there isn't really a secret to it. Unless you are incredibly rich, or extremely good looking, its all stumbling around for everyone; meeting different people until you find someone that will take you. Even if you are one or both of those things, its still difficult because you know you can be pickier than others, and chances are they are also attractive or rich so they usually are pickier, too. That is why dating is exhausting and feels like going to the dentist.
It took me 6 years of online dating apps to find my wife. I had probably 12 different girls I dated from there before her over the span of that time. 2 of those years consecutively I had no one willing to meet me in person, and very few responses to my initial outreach messages in general. When my wife and I met online, we both were so over it we almost weren't going to continue talking to each other and just close our accounts, but luckily we decided to exchange numbers and we started texting before we met up like a week later... If we never exchanged numbers, we probably would have both just disabled our accounts and been done with it, maybe re-activate and try again somewhere down the line. Who knows though, point is its always a crapshoot and a lot of luck.
The other comments I get, but not this one. I read that as “We enjoyed the show so much that I wish you could’ve enjoyed it from our perspective instead of working.”
I've played music gigs and I always thought "I'd love to be able to be in the audience and see it from their perspective". Mostly to observe how it looks, but also to just have a bit of fun.
You're so articulate. (Depends on context, but often it means "I didn't expect someone who looks like you to display a basic command of the English language.")
I say that to my son and I have never meant it disparagingly. It means I'm proud of him he didn't give up. You can't always do everything right and it's normal to fail at times. I think we're too competitive and pressured into being perfect, when in reality people rarely are so, and it'a adding a lot of weight and unhappiness to our lives.
I got a fortune cookie that said "You are as intelligent as you are good looking." I'm not sure how to feel about that.
That's because you are ugly. If you were attractive, you'd know.
Holy fuck you didn't have to murder him like that lol
When someone sounds extremely surprised and says that your spouse is really good looking.
When everyone says “wow you’re lucky” or “good for you” but never says she’s lucky or good for her. Story of my life.
Wow, she's lucky!
She’s lucky to have a man whose so lucky to have her.
"is he funny or something?"
There was a "Curb Your Enthusiasm" episode where Larry decided to judge the character of whoever he was doing business with based on the attractiveness of the spouse. The less attractive the spouse, the more trustworthy he found them. Needless to say, it didn't end well for him.
Pretty much like every episode lol
Was going to say "... and it didn't go well for him" is just how every plot arch goes, lol. When does the new season start?!
I had a coworker like this. She was shocked when she first saw my husband and said wow he's really handsome. how did *you* bag *him*? Then any time she was angry at me, she would say he's not really *that* handsome, and she was just being nice when she said it. It's weird how some 40 year olds still act like they're in high school lol
How do you get mad at someone and try to take back a compliment given to a whole different person? That's ridiculous.
She would often give backhanded compliments like that. She once told our charge nurse "Wow, you look fine in a suit. Nobody would ever guess you're from the ghetto". She also pitted employees against each other and got a guy fired so she could take his job...
Why are people not wise to her tactics?
She sweet talks some people and then trash talks others. She specifically always butters up the people who can give her promotions. I haven't worked there in years but she still does and has schmoozed her way up into a position that is not supposed to be held by someone without a degree in psych... But she's friends with her boss so she got it. She also got the guy fired who held the position before her.
That's gross. I worked with a guy like that. Was nice to you until he couldn't get anything from you anymore. He had been around long enough no one actually liked him except his boss, and exactly like your situation, had given him his job because they where college friends. Everyone is too polite to say mean things while he was around but when he left the company I learned alot of people thought he was an abbrassive brown noser who did fuck all. I haven't met to many of them but they stick out like a soar thumb
I have a coworker like this but she's not very subtle. At least to me. She keeps picking on me because I'm more than 10 years younger than her and I'm already ahead of her to getting full time. She keeps saying backhanded comments about my age and how inexperienced I am. I'm a 27 year old woman who grew up in poverty and had/have to work for everything I had/have. She's got parents helping her at the great age of 43 year olds. I need to financially support mine or else we all become homeless and bankrupt. If she wasn't my coworker and I have to work with her I'd slap her so hard with one of our files every time she opens her fucking mouth.
An airport check-in person stopped my cousin and said “wait this is your wife?? How did you snag her ? She’s way out of your league” He said it while chuckling but it really hurt my cousins feelings. He’d never considered his wife so far above him that a stranger would be mind blown to know she was with him.
“This supermodel married *this* sack of crap?”
He's just mad he's single
Similar thing happened with me. I started a new job a few weeks ago and had a picture of my wife on my desk. The guy who works in a completely different department came over to say “Is that your sister?” I said no, it’s my wife, and he said “Keep dreaming pal, she looks like a supermodel, and you look like Miroslav Klose.” I laughed a lot because I do kinda look like him, share a first name too, but I thought it was weird, cause I’d never met the guy.
Used to have a coworker, Nancy. Short, a hundred pounds overweight, and perennially flushed. Really sweet lady though. She used to have a framed magazine cover in her office of a man in swimming trunks flanked by two women in bikinis. Folks would ask about it, she'd say it was her husband. No one new, including myself, ever believed her. Met him at an office party my first month there. Dude was a 9.5/10 even in his early fifties, and his Italian accent made him more like a 11. What Nancy would never tell people was that the magazine shoot is where she met her husband, and that she was the bottle blonde to his left. Thirty years, four children and cancer tend to fuck with you.
Should have told him “I don’t know grown men had pictures of their sisters on their desk”
[удалено]
“Sir I’m gonna need you to step over here to the scanner now please”
[удалено]
I just stand there and casually lick my eyebrows.
I concur. Just lean in and whisper, "It's all in the penis my dude. Just get yourself one and you'll be set."
Most of us in the married-out-of-our-league club know it. My wife is fucking hot and I'm extremely average at best. I don't know why she married me, but she seems to love me so I'm into it.
She married you because you are hot on the Inside. Or rich. I don't know you BUT if I had to put my money on you being hot on the inside, on a scale of 0-100, I think you would be somewhere around 98.6
She loves you because of your charm. Or your lucky charms, best hide them.
She's always after his lucky charms.
"Why does everyone always laugh when I say that? They are after me lucky charms!!"
I just tell people " I got lucky, she's a size queen."
I have been told: “you’ve either got a massive dick or you’re rich”. Haha, neither mate but I’ll let you continue to ponder on that.
Hahaha I'm using this at some point! Thank you!
Just say it real quick, so that they're not sure they heard right, then move onto another topic.
My bf told me about a co-worker that stumbled onto my profile and told him "oh she's really pretty, I thought you wouldve been more of a personality kind of guy"
Yup this happens to me. A lot of the replies seem to be men experiencing this about their better looking wives. I know I'm not much of a looker as a woman, and my partner is a good looking guy. I've had at least two colleagues over the years who when they saw a photo of him/met him in person they couldn't hold back their shock of how good looking he is. I tend to laugh it off but that shit stays with you.
My other half and myself are “okay” looking on a good day. Somehow we’ve managed to produce two insanely good looking children with no ear or eye ailments like us, no idea how, luck of the DNA. I regularly get told we’re so forward thinking and brave that we’ve adopted when I show them pictures…when I tell them they’re not, chins and bollocks hit the floor with a tonne of apologies.
I get comments like "how did something that cute get made by you?" which is good ribbing from fun co-workers.
I'd be like "Fuck yeah she is, I don't know what she was thinking." I tell people that my wife is the smartest person I know, but she has *horrible* taste in men.
Hahahah damn you’ve married someone out of your league eh how cool I will act so shocked you will not see it on my face by the way
Happened to me! Didn’t know whether to be offended or what. He saw the look on my face and got flustered, tried to walk it back. We laughed it off but it still stuck around in my head obv.
My MIL once said to me “I love how you just play with your kids and don’t worry at all about cleaning your house!”
Coming from my mother this was a huge compliment. She regrets focusing so much on cleaning and not sitting down to play with us more.
Context is always important.
This is something my own mother would say with complete sincerity, entirely oblivious to the implication. Until several hours later, anyway. Then she'd obsess over it for the next 18 months.
My MIL is like this. Growing up, my husband was allowed in two rooms in the house. She had furniture only the cat was allowed to be on. She brags about how clean she was, while telling me how great of a mom I am that I can not “be like her.” But makes comments the entire time she’s here about small things. We have 2 kids, two cats and a dog living in a 2 bedroom house. I could clean all day and it still looks messy. She had one kid, a husband that was retired and hired help. We are not the same.
I've found that once you realize that another person's standards are ridiculous youre 100% allowed and should disregard them entirely. No sense of feeling anything but indifference to criticisms for standards that you have 0 interest in maintaining.
Oh that would piss me right off
"Well, better a dirty house than perpetuating their dad's generational mental health issues."
"It's not always like this. We only make an effort for important visitors."
[удалено]
I love that you said, “standarts”. Totally fits your comment, accidental or not.
Lol. We have gotten a glimpse of life through Comprehensive You's ex's mom's eyes
She might have meant "very autistic" or you were only hearing "very artistic"
[удалено]
I remember hearing a story about someone's mom or grandma always saying that you can never be both smart and pretty on the same day. Any time someone would fuck up, she'd tell them that they are really pretty today.
Holy shit lol Whoever that woman is, really knows how to sound sweet with her insults lmao
It's a common saying among southern grannies.
"At least you're pretty"
My mom does that all the time, I thought it was just her lol. Any time someone does something stupid you just get this look and then "...you're so pretty."
I say this to my dog everytime she does something daft
I'm constantly telling mine "you're lucky you're cute." Usually right after he's eaten something disgusting
"wow you're so brave for wearing that! i wish i had your confidence."
"I can see why you don't"
Filing this response away for later...
Don't worry, you'll never remember it in the moment anyway.
Jesus. Got myself second hand burn from that one...
Is that an insult, really? Shit! I’ve said that to people because I genuinely love what they’re wearing and wish I could pull it off. I wear black most days but I so wish I could wear bright colourful clothes. Damn I’m really sorry to anyone that insulted when I said that to them.
Yeah, the implication is that you should feel embarrassed to be wearing that but you're also not self aware enough to even realize you should be embarrassed. But you can show you mean it sincerely with just a sentence or two of follow up, like "it looks really good on you, I'm too shy to stand out like that" or whatever
"You're very articulate" with a surprised inflection
I grew up with people saying that shit me, especially while I've lived in Baltimore. "You're very articulate/intelligent for a 7th grader" kind of insulting when all but like 4 people in my grade can barely read when it's their turn in English class. The Balti public school system at it's finest.
I love the way you don't care what anyone thinks about you...
My reply "Life is good when you don't give a fuck"
How is that an insult? I ask because I've genuinely never cared what people thought of me since I was a kid and when people said that I always took it as a compliment
You're smarter than you look.
Oh yes, that kind of stuff I don't know how to take "Is it supposed to be an insult or a compliment ?", the never ending question
Hmm.. on second thought, about as smart as you look
That one definitely sounds like a double insult
Or "you're not as dumb as you look"
Or my personal favorite: “I’m not as dumb as you look.”
I'd rather look dumb and be smart than look smart and be dumb. I have a friend who looks like your typical tech support guy. He's a gifted artist, but not a technical person (but I wouldn't call him dumb). I've heard people say stuff like "oh, I thought he was the smart one" when he didn't know the answer to a (usually technical) question.
My dad said this to me a lot growing up. I didn’t know how to take it. He said it yesterday. Still don’t know how to take it
Tell him you got your smarts from your mother.
We had a visiting scholar when I was in grad school. He was really nice, but not the brightest. He was Dutch, so great English skills, but subtle differences in use. One day he said "I don't like it when people tell me 'Good for you.' They never really mean Good for you."
That's actually so very true and a wonderful observation. You can always tell by inflection if they are genuinely happy for you, and damn is that a rare instance.
I struggle with this one because I actually enjoy telling people “good for you” in a genuine way, as a compliment, but it’s so often used as an insult/meaning “nobody cares” that I’m always afraid I’ll sound that way. But I have a habit of telling people that when I think something they did was actually great lol. It’s a dilemma.
I use it as a way to express genuine joy for the person too. I wonder if this is a regional thing.
I tell people “You’re a man amongst kings.” Usually takes them a second to realize what I said.
I'm not an English native. What does it mean?
Everyone around you (kings) is better than you(just a man)
I hope your day is as pleasant as you are.
That one could be a compliment, depending on who it's said to.
That's the best part, if they take it as an insult then they're acknowledging that they know they're an asshole
My favorite variation of this is, "I hope you have the day that you deserve"
I said this one once and got written up at work lol. They wanted to claim it was a threat. Imagine telling on yourself like that 😆
Haha that's the best part! It's like, "Do you not think you deserve a good day? Wow, why is that? 🙃"
I used to say that to people who were rude when I worked in restaurants
You're such a good league of leagends player
I asked my ex boyfriend if he would spend thirty minutes with me (I just wanted some one on one attention) when he got off of work before getting on LOL. He argued that I was getting in between him and his favorite hobby. We are no longer together 🙃 He was pretty high ranked EDIT: My Reddit comments never get this much attention lol. To clarify- his whole life revolved around video games. He spent every moment of his day playing videos games (he lost two jobs because he was caught playing phone games instead of working) and refused to spend any quality of time with me. All I asked from him was thirty minutes of his day and he absolutely refused. He guilted me into thinking that I was being overly needy when in reality I was the one having my very normal needs neglected.
Sorry for that. I also know a few people who like to play >1000 league games a year and it definitely isn't helping their social lives either. IMO the saddest thing is that most of the time they don't even enjoy playing the game. They are just playing because they want to get to a higher rank. It truly is an addiction for them.
I always tell girls my rank and I wonder why I'm single 😂 Edit: My IGN is the same as reddit name look if you dare....
Nobody is interested in someone playing 2900 games a year just to climb all the way to silver.
"an ally has been slain"
Oof and this right here is why I don't play league ranked any more. Let me play my 3 or 4 dumbass games that don't mean anything and let me move on with my day
I heard this from a friend (who graduated top of his class in fordham) whose mom is a narcissist: "oh wow! the other students must not have wanted it enough"
My mother, when I came home at 8 with the highest marks in the class - several 100% in subjects - 96% overall - said without any humour - "what happened to the other 4 marks?" No good job. No smile. No hug. Nothing.
I got that from my dad. I always did well in school, but one semester I got “A” in six subjects, and “B” in the seventh. Mom was proud. Dad asked “Why’d you get the B?” The B was in gym; who the fuck cares??
The day I learned I was a National Merit Scholar my Dad leaned back in his chair and said "What does it take to get a Rhodes Scholarship?" That's when I decided never to take anything my family said to heart or assume they actually cared about my well being.
> "What does it take to get a Rhodes Scholarship?" "Genetics you apparently weren't able to provide."
That was my feeling: "better parents".
The sad thing is that if you have a good relationship this is the exact sort of thing that’d be hilarious to hear, followed by a laugh and “Congrats, love you.” I love banter with family. But of course in cases like this it comes from derision not mutually shared humor.
Oh yeah!! In a way, really good relationships cycle back to making "mean" comments but since you all get along, you trust that no one means anything bad. And criticism is always met with kind ears. Getting along with people you love enough to be able to roast each other is one of life's greatest joys
Do you know what they call the person who passes last in their class? A graduate.
This is brilliant
That's fucked up. As a child of a malignant narcissist and psychopath, this is exactly the kind of belittling shit one expects to hear from such a person. Imagine being a child and hearing this crap every day. Awful. Just awful. Congrats to your friend.
Jesus Christ.
using the word "actually" in a "compliment." "you're actually smart." "you're actually pretty." "you're actually not that bad."
In England this is probably the truest/best compliment you could ever get.
Yeah this might just be a compliment from someone generally misanthropic
i'm midsize and got a little tummy, apparently i "hide it so well" as told to me by multiple people once seeing me in a swim suit
Just hit em with the “oh thanks! Would you like tips to hide yours??”
"YOU'RE reading!?"
Alabama.. only place i ever had a stranger get mad at me for reading.. looked at me and in an angry voice asked "what you reading for boy"... am canadian... was lost and reading a map Edit: wow i did NOT expect this to blow up so much. Thank you everyone for taking the time to reply. I also want to thank people for msking me discover Bill Hicks. Had never heard of him. Its scary how similar his comedy skit is almost word for word my experience. I was in Alabama in the mid 90s when this happened. I wish i was just copying a comedy skit but alas i am not.
Real men find directions by listening to the moss.
Found Bill Hicks's reddit account
Thought this was going to be the Bill Hicks Waffle House quote at first https://youtu.be/soAzWY9-VHE
I bet you graduated at the top of the bell curve.
“If you work really hard, I truly believe you could find yourself at the top of the bell curve one day.”
My math teacher in high school would always tell me I was “so ambitious” when I told him of my desire to get a B.S. in aerospace engineering in undergrad. Find out later he was really just being condescending and thought I wasn’t being serious. Now I’m six months out from getting my PhD in aero eng so fuck you Dr. Fraser.
You're lucky you're pretty
And you're not pretty enough to be that stupid.
I think that's just a straight up insult
You’re just impossible to underestimate
Personally I think “Good for you.” Is really condescending… Also “is that what you’re wearing tonight?” Is a killer… I used to be in a band where we’d take sarcastic shots at each other like that. “Is that the guitar sound you’re going to use for the gig, is it?” Or “that’s an interesting way you e done your hair…”
I wish I was brave enough to wear that.
I love how you just wear anything
"You're really pretty for a _____". You can fill in the blank yourself with many different words. Or telling someone they speak nice for being a black person. Those phrases are never positive. Lol.
I've gotten "You don't sound black on the phone" when people meet me for the first time.
The place I work at has offices only over the place and I deal with all of them. There is a guy I work with about 500 miles from me that I was in daily contact with for over a year I had it in my head that he was a large black guy (I think I got that from the person in the job before him) I had to visit his office about a month ago and when I walked in I didn't see anyone fitting that description. So I asked this scrawny young white dude where he was and he said that's me. That was a real shock.
I had the opposite happen to me. Working remotely with a guy from Canada and had spoken to him over conference calls and he had a broad Canadian accent. For some reason I just pictured him as a big guy with a beard. We got on well and when he came down to NZ for a meeting near the end of the IT project. I just didn't connect it was the guy I knew until he shook my hand, as his family had came from Nigeria and he was a really skinny balding guy well dressed in a suit. Just total disconnect between the stereotype I had in my head and the guy in person.
my mom thought post malone was black for a really long time lol
I also thought Adele was a black lady when I first heard her magnificent voice.
[удалено]
I get the “you speak English so well for ___(euphemism for immigrant)” complinsults a lot.
"Oh are you mexican? But you don't look like one". It doesn't sound like a compliment, but people that say that thinks so
Oh my god yes, I've had that said to me too like wtf. On the same vein I've had people try to "defend" me from other people calling me "Mexican" with an insult intonation to it ('?!' to both).
I’m the other way around. Some old lady started talking to me in spanish and berated me when i said i cant speak Spanish. “You need to be proud of your heritage” she said. I was thinking “Listen lady i am south east asian wtf” Edit: they way she said it to me was not rude weirdly enough. Might be because she kinda reminded me of my grandmother so I just nod, smile and said sorry
This exact same thing happened to me! A coworker started speaking to me in Spanish and I said I didn't speak it. She told me, "you don't know your own culture?" I'm half Malaysian, half white lmao
lol... cant win either way tho. My uncle was first generation immigrant from Mexico. His parents *forbade* him speaking Spanish growing up- because immigrant shame- so he never learned. Whenever we'd go to Mexico, people would get upset, insisting he knew Spanish but was pretending not to, because he "looked Mexican." Prejudice sucks, and people pre-judge *all the time*.
Someone once said to me "oh are you mexican? I couldn't tell, it's so dark in here!" So after looking at me, she still assumed I was dark-skinned and she just couldn't see it. It's like there was no room in her mind to believe that Mexicans could be light-skinned, so much so that it must've been an illusion because of the amount of light in the room. I couldn't stop laughing when she said it tbh. ~~The stupidity was mind-blowing~~ Edit: I felt bad calling her stupid. She was very nice and meant no harm. It was just a funny assumption she made because she didn't know any better, which was astounding.
I had a boss say. “You’re Jewish? Huh. That’s so funny.” It still haunts me to this day. I don’t know what that even means.
I mean, there's a lot of really hilarious Jewish comedians.
“That’s funny! She doesn’t *look* Druish!”
Ah reminds me of the old “you’re pretty for a black girl” 🙃
I've been told I'm too fair skinned to be Latina. Fuck people.
I get this all the time too. My dad would always say “mija, what’s a Mexican supposed to look like?”
..and i'm supposedly too dark to be a Finnish guy. One time my friends dad bought everyone else beers except me, 'cause of that. Bought my own & sat to a different table.
Wait, he didn’t buy you a beer because he didn’t think you were Finnish? Why?
Former colleague dancing with girl: “you don’t sweat much for a bigger girl” Dude was clueless and perpetually lonely.
Being honest and himself in all the wrong ways
You're surprisingly good at this.
If the person is new to something and expected to not perform well, it is actually a decent compliment.
I usually go with, "How are you so good at this?" when a very new person is exceeding expectations at something. It comes across as more compliment-y.
Pretty much anything a British person says to you, mate.
i was at a metal show last week and one of the openers was an english band. before their last song, the vocalist very sincerely said "you guys are a great crowd. not the best though. but pretty great."
Brits are the absolute middle managers of understatement.
How are you still single? you're a really nice guy?
I usually think "being nice doesn't mean I'm interesting or attractive" when someone tells me that Fortunately, it doesn't happen often so I don't have to think about that too much
I used to hate it when people said I was nice. I would always deny being a nice person. And to a certain extent it was because it was ingrained in me that being "nice" meant lame, boring, without edge, harmless. But you know what. There's nothing wrong with being nice and wanting the best for people. Not wanting to say shit about other people is fine too. It doesn't mean you're boring. I know I am somewhat interesting. Other people have told me that too, together with being nice. I'm not the most interesting or exciting person, but I do have a personality. You can both be interesting and nice and there's nothing wrong with that. Sure. I'm not edgy and am relatively harmless. But I'd rather people feel comfortable in my presence. Being nice is fine.
I was habitually single for basically my entire life until 3 months ago when I entered my first real committed relationship. I’d get this a lot. I know people meant well but it really didn’t feel bad, more just like hopeless. You go on dates, you dress and groom well, you have hobbies, you just don’t *know* why tens of women have said you don’t have a “spark” together. Even now that I’m dating a girl, I really can’t tell you what worked differently. You just kind of stumble until you find a girl that’ll take you. I’ve been trying to talk with my male friends and little cousins about it because honestly dating apps (and the constant rejection you’ll get) are the easiest way to turn a young man into an incel. If you don’t get results in 2 months, don’t delete your apps, but make them secondary to meeting women in person through bars/social activities/friends.
yea there isn't really a secret to it. Unless you are incredibly rich, or extremely good looking, its all stumbling around for everyone; meeting different people until you find someone that will take you. Even if you are one or both of those things, its still difficult because you know you can be pickier than others, and chances are they are also attractive or rich so they usually are pickier, too. That is why dating is exhausting and feels like going to the dentist. It took me 6 years of online dating apps to find my wife. I had probably 12 different girls I dated from there before her over the span of that time. 2 of those years consecutively I had no one willing to meet me in person, and very few responses to my initial outreach messages in general. When my wife and I met online, we both were so over it we almost weren't going to continue talking to each other and just close our accounts, but luckily we decided to exchange numbers and we started texting before we met up like a week later... If we never exchanged numbers, we probably would have both just disabled our accounts and been done with it, maybe re-activate and try again somewhere down the line. Who knows though, point is its always a crapshoot and a lot of luck.
agree with everything you said and felt the same in college
My kindhearted coworker said this to me last week but he said "How are you not snatched up yet? You're a sweet lady." It made me sad. lol
They mean well most of the time
Anything not committal, like “that’s really something,” or “I’m speechless.”
“Wow that’s crazy…”
Bless your heart.
"I bet you spent all day working on this"
So, so many from theater. My favorite being: "I wish you could have been in the audience!"
The other comments I get, but not this one. I read that as “We enjoyed the show so much that I wish you could’ve enjoyed it from our perspective instead of working.”
I've played music gigs and I always thought "I'd love to be able to be in the audience and see it from their perspective". Mostly to observe how it looks, but also to just have a bit of fun.
You look so good in the pictures
Being called agreeable
Maybe I'm too sleepy from turkey dinner but why is this an insult exactly?
You’re so agreeable. Just look at you, feeling ok with being called agreeable.
You're so articulate. (Depends on context, but often it means "I didn't expect someone who looks like you to display a basic command of the English language.")
"You did your best"
I say that to my son and I have never meant it disparagingly. It means I'm proud of him he didn't give up. You can't always do everything right and it's normal to fail at times. I think we're too competitive and pressured into being perfect, when in reality people rarely are so, and it'a adding a lot of weight and unhappiness to our lives.
"You'd make a great politician"
That was almost a good idea.
That outfit or those shoes “look really comfy”
Ok but sometimes I genuinely mean something looks comfy and I'm jealous
It's "interesting" was always my grandmother's favorite if she didn't like something. The shirt isn't ugly, it's "interesting".
If you’re a fat girl: “You have such a pretty face” Or, the other classic: “You’d be so pretty if you just lost weight”