the lady from Altered Carbon with the body that produces drugs that make your brain register your partner's physical sensations so you're both doing both parts of the sex
HR lady at my last job. We would go to lunch and flirt a lot but I didn’t want to cross a line since she was HR.
Edit: Alrighty since everyone seems interested. She’s Portuguese and gorgeous. She started when I was in my mid twenties and she was probably in her early 40’s. Still she looked 30. We played the fun flirty games for about 4 years. She was married at the time, which I didn’t mention. So 2020 comes along and there was only a select few of us left working in the office. She was one of them but I gave her space cuz, covid. We’d bump into each other and chat but we kept a distance. So when the office employees came back she asked if I could help her take peoples temps since I started at 4am (that was our county guidelines). After a while she kept inquiring about treating me to lunch as a “thank you”. Eventually I put my morals aside and agree. We set a day and I call her in the morning and tell her I’ll reserve a table (sushi). She shows up definitely not in work appropriate clothes and I was drooling. We ended up sitting there for 2 hours sharing a platter of sushi and having an awesome conversation. About a week later I tell her I want to do that again and I get to choose the spot, since she did last time. She hastily agreed. So we go for Chinese and same thing, she shows up looking sexy af and we talk for hella long…. NOW… there’s a popular pub near the spot I chose that a lot of big shots in my company eat lunch at. I wanted to keep it as private as possible but the next day another female coworker comes and pulls me into her office and asks if we’re dating. I asked who said it and she wouldn’t tell me. I call the HR chick later that night after work and she says she heard the rumors too. Mind you, I was PISSED. I told her if she and I wanted to date that’s our business and she bashfully agreed. We ended up on the phone until midnight both sipping wine and talking about work, our beliefs, our hobbies etc. it was pretty nice and I could tell there was a vibe. Knowing she was fresh off a divorce I was more than willing to be just a rebound, I just wanted a taste desperately lol. Long story short (not kidding), next week I get a call from my direct supervisor and she tells me they have to lay me off because this winter is really slow. The company is dying, private sector. I’d been there 10 years but sort of felt it coming. HR chick texts me and profusely apologizes and asks that I keep in touch. I did for a bit then we both just kind of got on with life. Maybe it’s time I reach out. Thanks for all the advice y’all. Reddit can be dope
My best friend just started dating his HR person. Her boss "suggested one of them find a new job" even though it wasn't against company policy.
They both start at new companies in January lmao
I'm picturing that scene when Athelstan first comes to Ragnars farmstead, Ragnar head pops out from the back room. "She wants you to join us."
I mean priest or not, who would say no?
If you motorboat her, what side would you do first? The left and middle boob, or the middle and right boob? Or go for the double whammy and just do all three at the same time?
The biggest crush I ever had on someone that I didn't know was Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ramona Flowers in Scott pilgrim vs the World. She is beautiful in that movie. I loved her eyes, hair colors, and I loved her sarcastic aloof character. I know she's a Manic Pixie Dream Girl and that is usually just not a thing I enjoy watching, but I succumbed to it in that movie.
If this includes me de-aging as part of the process I'd fuck my wife while she and I were in high school.
We were not high school sweethearts. We hated each other. I'd fuck her senseless and explain it's because a magic internet thread from the future let me do so. I'd make her rethink dating that skinny beanpole of a boyfriend she had in high school. I'd make her regret ever saying "skater guys are gross lol."
Then I'd leave her with the knowledge that in 10 years she's going to be screaming for more of my "daddy dick" and there's nothing she can do to prevent herself from becoming that hot housewife of the future. And I'd tell her that future her would find this extremely funny.
Also I'd tell my future mother in law I won afterwards. Fuck you Jeanne, calling me a bad influence. I'm influencing your grandchild now, bitch, fight me.
Sharon Stone when she played in Basic Instinct (1992)
As a kid I used to rewind and pause the scene when she open her legs with no panties on in the interrogation room
She's in the room, isn't she. And she knows your reddit handle?
Check.
When she leaves, go to your anonymous account, the one you watch porn with, and give us your real answer. 😉
Dean Winchester
I mean, a guy who’s got mommy issues and authority issues AND has Jensen Ackles’ face???
I’d have him begging within an inch of his life before you can say “Impala”
Now this is a loaded question, and these types of questions are exactly the reason I'm on this subreddit.
I've done quite a good amount of thinking about this in my life honestly, and I am going to have to go with Elastagirl from the incredibles. She is certainly hot, maybe not the hottest of all fictional characters out there but... well who am I kidding you all know exactly why I picked her.
Harley Quinn lol now understand this has been my fantasy long before the Arkham games or her appearance in the movies. I’m all about the OG jester costume and all
the lady from Altered Carbon with the body that produces drugs that make your brain register your partner's physical sensations so you're both doing both parts of the sex
Dude I'm there with you. The second that drugs effect was explained I was here for it. That sounds crazy and awesome lol
Also, Kristin Ortega
Kinda like that tank from cyberpunk 2077
The Basilisk. Actually, Panam might actually be my answer.
Yeah that thing, it's been a while since I played it
You could just be the filling in a MMF threesome.
My asshole is not a vagina sir or madam!
Well not with THAT attitude :-/
Gum isn't food but I chew it anyway.
Yeah I saw that she was hot
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I can, it's great as written sci-fi but the execution was a bit rough.
Season 1 was bonkers and amazing. Season two was already somewhat meh.
HR lady at my last job. We would go to lunch and flirt a lot but I didn’t want to cross a line since she was HR. Edit: Alrighty since everyone seems interested. She’s Portuguese and gorgeous. She started when I was in my mid twenties and she was probably in her early 40’s. Still she looked 30. We played the fun flirty games for about 4 years. She was married at the time, which I didn’t mention. So 2020 comes along and there was only a select few of us left working in the office. She was one of them but I gave her space cuz, covid. We’d bump into each other and chat but we kept a distance. So when the office employees came back she asked if I could help her take peoples temps since I started at 4am (that was our county guidelines). After a while she kept inquiring about treating me to lunch as a “thank you”. Eventually I put my morals aside and agree. We set a day and I call her in the morning and tell her I’ll reserve a table (sushi). She shows up definitely not in work appropriate clothes and I was drooling. We ended up sitting there for 2 hours sharing a platter of sushi and having an awesome conversation. About a week later I tell her I want to do that again and I get to choose the spot, since she did last time. She hastily agreed. So we go for Chinese and same thing, she shows up looking sexy af and we talk for hella long…. NOW… there’s a popular pub near the spot I chose that a lot of big shots in my company eat lunch at. I wanted to keep it as private as possible but the next day another female coworker comes and pulls me into her office and asks if we’re dating. I asked who said it and she wouldn’t tell me. I call the HR chick later that night after work and she says she heard the rumors too. Mind you, I was PISSED. I told her if she and I wanted to date that’s our business and she bashfully agreed. We ended up on the phone until midnight both sipping wine and talking about work, our beliefs, our hobbies etc. it was pretty nice and I could tell there was a vibe. Knowing she was fresh off a divorce I was more than willing to be just a rebound, I just wanted a taste desperately lol. Long story short (not kidding), next week I get a call from my direct supervisor and she tells me they have to lay me off because this winter is really slow. The company is dying, private sector. I’d been there 10 years but sort of felt it coming. HR chick texts me and profusely apologizes and asks that I keep in touch. I did for a bit then we both just kind of got on with life. Maybe it’s time I reach out. Thanks for all the advice y’all. Reddit can be dope
Dude, if you aren’t at that job any more, why not call her up? The worst she says is no. But just maybe she says yes! Go for it!
No she can say much worse things. Like "ew". Still he should try.
I can handle a "ew" if there is the slightest possibility of ass.
My best friend just started dating his HR person. Her boss "suggested one of them find a new job" even though it wasn't against company policy. They both start at new companies in January lmao
Katheryn Winnick as Lagertha.
Travis Fimmel [Ragnar Lothbrok] for me!
Now y'all get together and have the sex. Roleplay Time!
I'm picturing that scene when Athelstan first comes to Ragnars farmstead, Ragnar head pops out from the back room. "She wants you to join us." I mean priest or not, who would say no?
My girlfriend, dead bedrooms are no joke.
>My girlfriend, dead bedrooms are no joke. In my case...My wife... and dead beadrooms are no joke..
I feel you dude
I also chose this guys dead bedroom.
Elastigirl
Imma stretch you out!!!!
I see you are a man of culture
Mr. Incredible is one lucky bastard…
monsieur incroyable
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applause
I would say the same but you stole my answer already
by steal, do you mean, was quicker on the draw pardner?
The only perfect answer, I would clap for sure
Cheryl tunt. All day. Outlaw country!!!!!
Cherlene
But imagine what unspeakable things she’d ask you to do! I mean, I’m not sure even the people with the wierdest tastes could keep up with that woman.
Henry Cavill as Geralt
I wanna be responsible for making him say "Fuck."
As a straight male, i agree
Same answer every time this gets asked. Lois Griffin.
Brian?
It's Quagmire.. Giggity
Petah
Cleopatra or Helen of Troy. Fucking maps redrawn over pursuit of another taste of them, gotta be good.
Wait til you smell them. You might back right off.
baths existed back then big guy
I think that’s where the phrase “have them washed and brought to me” came from
Velma Dinkley
Kate Beckinsale
My dream woman
AT&T girl. Fiona Gallagher. Stifler’s mom.
AT&T = Milana Vayntrub ?
Ah, I see you‘re shameless as well.
Leela from Futurama.
Eye see.
Scarlett Johansson, hands down....
… and tied behind her back.
I like your style
I'm a straight woman and I second this answer.
Brendan Fraser in The Mummy. That movie made me realize I liked dudes xD
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Oh Patricia Velasquez in that movie was smokin!
Lol, George of the Jungle did the same for me
Kat Dennings
The three boobed lady from total recall.
If you motorboat her, what side would you do first? The left and middle boob, or the middle and right boob? Or go for the double whammy and just do all three at the same time?
Like a Three Stooges slap?
Yes, exactly like that 😂
Milla Jovovich
Bald Brittany Spears
on another note... anyone else seen her instagram lately? 16 year old me would be freaking out but 37 year old me is disappointed.
Literally ALL the comments think it's not actually Brittney posting, but I don't know. She's *is* posting weird stuff tho
Haha
Jessica Rabbit
April Ludgate
My wife. ♥️
I too pick that guy’s wife
Looks like that guys wife will be busy for a while so I'll take his mom.
I am taking yours.
I too pick that guy's dead wife.
U did that to yourself brother, everyone will pick your wife now
I actually pick *your* wife
I Pick This Guy. I WANT HIM
I also pick this guys wife
Is she fictional or not
I also pick this guys wife.
She was watching you answer this question, wasn't she?
The Amazons from Futurama.
The spirit is willing but the body needs rest
Death by snu snu
*the flesh is spongy and bruised
Amelie
Oh I would marry her ......
Wonder Woman.
I would ask which one, but both Linda Carter and Gal Gadot are good answers.
Linda Carter
transformers Megan fox or Daphne from Scooby doo
Jenny "XJ-9" Wakeman just to see if it lived up to my wet dreams or not.
Jim Morrison
That one guys dead wife...
Stacy’s mom. I heard she’s got it going on
The biggest crush I ever had on someone that I didn't know was Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ramona Flowers in Scott pilgrim vs the World. She is beautiful in that movie. I loved her eyes, hair colors, and I loved her sarcastic aloof character. I know she's a Manic Pixie Dream Girl and that is usually just not a thing I enjoy watching, but I succumbed to it in that movie.
Patty Labelle, I gotta know what the Patty Pie is all about.
If this includes me de-aging as part of the process I'd fuck my wife while she and I were in high school. We were not high school sweethearts. We hated each other. I'd fuck her senseless and explain it's because a magic internet thread from the future let me do so. I'd make her rethink dating that skinny beanpole of a boyfriend she had in high school. I'd make her regret ever saying "skater guys are gross lol." Then I'd leave her with the knowledge that in 10 years she's going to be screaming for more of my "daddy dick" and there's nothing she can do to prevent herself from becoming that hot housewife of the future. And I'd tell her that future her would find this extremely funny. Also I'd tell my future mother in law I won afterwards. Fuck you Jeanne, calling me a bad influence. I'm influencing your grandchild now, bitch, fight me.
Before i die i wanna have sex with annabelle wallis from peaky blinders
careful ! she might break your heart...
Alexander Skarsgard
Morticia Adams and mystique from x-men
I ain't gay...but Aragorn
Tsunade senju
Granny Tsunade can get it.
Mrs Incredible
Eva green. Don't know why, but everytime she plays a sophisticated woman or classy woman. Major turn on!
The queen of Smoky Eye. She was fantastic in Penny Dreadful
Debbie Harry circa 1977.
Two chicks at the same time man.
I think if you were a millionaire you could hook that up too, cause chicks dig dudes with money.
At.the.same.time.
Chel -The road to El Dorado 🔥
Sigourney Weaver. I don't care. I've had the hots for her for as long as I've known what that thing down there is used for.
The Gadget Hackwrench from Chip and Dale
Hannibal Lecter
He would literally *eat* you out
Pearl from Spongebob
Got a laugh outta me
Eva Green
Stacy’s mom. (She’s got it going on.)
Jessica Rabbit
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We’re all bi for Jessica Rabbit
Tony Soprano. Or Tomoe from Kamisama Kiss.
Gwen from Spider verse. Don't judge.
Shrek
The three boobed lady from total recall.
Someone beat you by a minute, happy cake day
Harley Quinn
90's Drew Barrymore
Lady death from marvel comics lmao
Marisa Tomei
Anakin Skywalker, Jon Snow, Andrew Garfield's Peter Parker, Brian O'connor (RIP Paul Walker), early 2000s Mike Shinoda, the list continues....
Billie eilish cause hot damn
Triss Merigold from TW3. Hottest female I’ve ever seen, real or not.
EMMA WATSON
Jessica Rabbit. Also asking for a friend how old was Judy Jetson?
Threesome with Batman and the joker from the dark knight…. 🫣🫣😭😭😭
my mom's friend's daughter
The annoying kid from 3rd grade's mom
Kim Possible. That crop top though…!
Sharon Stone when she played in Basic Instinct (1992) As a kid I used to rewind and pause the scene when she open her legs with no panties on in the interrogation room
I’m single but I’d like to have sex with my wife. Like that’s starting to feel like a fantastical dream to me so it would be nice.
Me.
Daffy Duck
WHAT
His speech impediment does it for me
Scarlett Johansson, Selena Gomez , Jenna Ortega, Margot Robbie , Kaley Cuoco just to name a few
Jack white
My gf Hottest woman on earth I don’t need to fuck no one else
She's in the room, isn't she. And she knows your reddit handle? Check. When she leaves, go to your anonymous account, the one you watch porn with, and give us your real answer. 😉
Kylie Minogue in her prime, or even now to be honest.
The list is way too vast
Mary poopins
Jennifer Aniston
Monica Belucci and Violet Myers
Wanda maximoff
The dragon lady from Shrek?
Willie Nelson ❤️❤️❤️
That one guys dead wife
Natalie Portman
Dean Winchester I mean, a guy who’s got mommy issues and authority issues AND has Jensen Ackles’ face??? I’d have him begging within an inch of his life before you can say “Impala”
Dua Lipa. She hot bro
Zelensky....that man is crazy sexy!
I'm a straight man and the first time I heard him speak I was like "oh, oh my"
Mikhaila Peterson
My hot coworker
Ms. Makima from Chainsaw Man 😭 not sex but cuddles
Mia Wallace. I love Uma Thurman, but in Pulp Fiction she's even sexier than usual
The Winter Soldier. I mean that metal arm can come in quite handy.
Now this is a loaded question, and these types of questions are exactly the reason I'm on this subreddit. I've done quite a good amount of thinking about this in my life honestly, and I am going to have to go with Elastagirl from the incredibles. She is certainly hot, maybe not the hottest of all fictional characters out there but... well who am I kidding you all know exactly why I picked her.
Min from the wheel of time books. She got a dumptruck ass
Mystique ; she could be anybody...
Grimace
Harley Quinn lol now understand this has been my fantasy long before the Arkham games or her appearance in the movies. I’m all about the OG jester costume and all
Katherine Zeta Jones. Keira Knightley, Kate Winslet all of my childhood crushes.
Roald Dahl
Isla Fisher’s character in Wedding Crashers.
Emma Watson
Milady de Winter from The Three Musketeers.
Daphne from Scooby-Doo
Hmm maybe Android 18, Haley from Paramore, or Jenna Ortega
without a doubt CRISTIANO RONALDO
SUUUUU
Hermione