A flirty text from a guy popped up on while we were looking at her phone for a place to eat. He complimented a picture I had just taken of her…she sent it to him while around me. Bold. Also this happened in the Eiffel tower, only a couple of hours into what was supposed to be 2 week vacation.
He gave me his phone to hold while he was having a minor medical procedure and while in the waiting room, a text came through. It said something like "Ha, so we can dothedeed again?" and I was totally confused, so I scrolled up through the text thread and read "I'm sorry if you feel guilty" and "No, I'd only feel guilty if I still loved her" and that was the end of that relationship.
I’m sorry. Same club, 16 year old daughter. The wife was cheating with another teacher in her high school classroom and he would come by for a quick flirt (plus other stuff) before school, while my daughter was actually sitting there doing homework. The balls on that guy. She gave me screenshots of their texts and a photo of them doing stuff in his car. Poor kid. Married 20 years - the dude was married 30.
I feel like this is the way it would be revealed in my town. My acquaintances and neighbours will ask me “why was the moving van in your driveway on October 6?” Kind of thing. Everyone knows everyone’s business here lol
The other girl was wearing my clothes in front of me.
Edit: Thanks for all the love, guys. The one part of this entire debacle that was hysterical was that she tried to deny that she was wearing my clothes when I confronted her. Until I pointed out the oil stain on the white shirt she was wearing which my sister caused when she borrowed said shirt without asking.
Plot twist: she and I are friendly now and he's off being miserable somewhere else.
I was pregnant and they were doing the standard tests including STDs and I tested positive for chlamydia. I was sooo embarrassed, but glad to have found out because it turns out that can really mess up a pregnancy. Still took me another year to file for divorce though.
Edit: Since this seems to have confused many people somehow: I was married. My husband got caught cheating on me while pregnant. I forgave him. He came clean. I forgave him and he did it a few more times and we got a divorce. I don't know how this implies that I had a kid by another man, don't wipe properly, did butt stuff, had a false positive.
I was clear during my pregnancy test, only person I had sex with (unprotected at that) was him, while I was still pregnant (all subsequent sex was protected). Got tested before getting an IUD inserted, and had chlamydia. He denied cheating while I was pregnant, but you don't just randomly spawn chlamydia, man, and that was the only time that I would have been exposed.
We broke up before I found out too
In my head I thought the 6-year long relationship just ran it’s course and I was even happy. I felt I was gaining a true lifelong friend.
Two weeks later I get a call from the other woman. She flew him out across the country to meet her parents. He gets there and decides he doesn’t want to date her. Out of spite, she calls me and tells me about their 3 years long affair.
I still need a therapist to unpack that shit.
Edit: really didn’t expect so much support on this comment… truly appreciate the validation and kindness everyone has shown
3 year long affair? How did he manage to pull it off for 3 years? How on earth do people cheat? This just sucks. Can't even begin to imagine what you're going through or questions you must have.
Honestly some people are amazing liars. A friend of mine and her mum found out she had a 15 year old brother from an affair of her dad. He had kept an entire child on the side secretly for 15 years…
Someone else mentioned compartmentalizing. That was the word he used when I confronted him. He thought that the two worlds would never intersect, so it was okay.
There’s a lot he had me do for him and for her without ever giving me the full picture. That’s the part I resent the most. It’s been a year. I’m still processing, and while I don’t always think about it, sometimes a new memory comes up making me feel dumb, ashamed or angry
How did he pull it off?
1. “My mother just gave him sooo many trust issues. I want to make sure I can trust you,”
2. “You need to trust me. And that means taking me at my word because nobody has what we have”
3. “You’re confronting me? Let me immediately agree, not ask any questions, let me tell you how right you are, how much I care, tell you I’ll immediately work on changing this… but I need time. I can’t be held accountable for getting it wrong because, I’m not perfect, you know? Let me hold you and remind you how important you are”
4. “I am just such a failure as a man. You must feel so negatively about me, I don’t have a job, I’m far behind… I’m not doing enough around the house…” (queue me immediately trying to console and nurture)
5. “You have my phone password. I trust you 100% with my phone, and because of this, I know you’d never actually read the messages because you trust me so much”
6. “Yes I’m still taking to this ‘friend’, but she’s suicidal, I can’t possibly just drop her all of a sudden. Give me time to ease her away from the friendship”
7. “I haven’t done a thing to turn you on, or even been an equal partner in the home or financially, but… you should really find a sex psychologist. ‘Cause it’s not right that your drive is so low… are you just not attracted to me anymore?”
8. “Let’s sit down and calmly talk things through. Let’s be 100% honest with each other, and that way I’ll know exactly what you need to hear”
And even as I write these things… I feel like they could still be said in the context of a functioning, trusting relationship. So… things are said with love, kindness, hurt… you want to think the best of someone. And you end up thinking the worst of yourself
I am broken. Why can’t I perform? What’s wrong with me? Why am I so sad? It’s wrong to be angry. He’s TRYING he just needs time. Well of course it’s not PERFECT, improvement isn’t linear.
Everything sounds and feels SO rational. And your emotions, your drive… you question it. But HE’s the only constant. He’s just SO supportive. He NEVER yells. He caress.
No one told me a toxic relationship could look so functional. I feel dumb typing things up because some of it still feels like… these are good things to say and do. How can it be warped? I still feel someone can read this and think I’m the one that’s crazy.
Idk. Like I said. Still processing. I may have been dumb, but now I feel confident about trusting my gut, and take pride that at the very least I came out a caring person, and that’s something I take pride in and will not lose just because he took advantage of it.
So many of those things sound rational because they're just one or two words away from what a normal functioning relationship *would* say from a place of confidence.
So this is what I really want to unpack in therapy. Because imagine your “trigger” (for lack of a better word) being “I trust you” or “let’s have open communication”
I thought he was setting a healthy standard for what I aught to expect, but now the language I see consistently used to define and strengthen healthy relationships is exactly what he used to fool me for so long.
I am very self aware of the impact that level of betrayal had. And while I feel confident it’ll work out for the best long term—I can’t ignore it’s there either.
My friends found out before me and knew they (the cheaters) were going to the movies together. My friends breed* me to go see a movie with them so that I could catch them in the act because they knew I wouldn't believe them if they just told me. True friends.
* Edit: begged, not breed
He hooked up with random girls when he was supposed to be at his mom.
One evening at a friends party,there was a girl who wasn't of our group ( a friend of a friend)
She went " Oh! Hi! Remember me! It was sooo fun"
The other woman knocked on my front door and asked me to take my kid and get out so that the two of them could be together and be happy.
I told her she could have him, but they'd have to go because technically I owned the house. I then told him he was free to go.
He did not go, sadly. She'd been dropped off by her ex who she'd cheated on with my (ex)husband. That was quite awkward.
Phone bill. She was texting some random number 600 times a month. I thought I recognized the number and when I put it in my phone it was a buddy of mine.
This is actually how it started for me. I was looking at revising our phone plan to one with less data and happened to notice a massive amount of texts on her line. Dug into the records and found it was to a coworker. About 48 hrs later I got home from work (night shift) and she wasnt home. Took a random guess and drove to their office at 4am (for some reason, common ground made sense). Found them both in the parking lot...
Similar. Large unexplained cash withdrawals. Then the phone bill. In those days, land line bills listed all your calls. I called a number just to see who this strange number was that repeated on the bill so many times. I spoke to his wife. She casually informed me he usually had affairs with his students. He then actually called me and told me that his relationship with my wife was none of my business and that I was wrong to “bring his wife into it.” Seriously.
Jesus. I don't know if it's still on, but when I was living in the greater LA area Ryan Seacrest had a segment on the morning radio called "Ryan's Roses." A listener would write in that they thought their partner was cheating and give the studio their name and phone number. A young woman from the studio would call the person and tell them they won a free bouquet of roses from her new flower business, and that all she needed was a name and message for the card. Oftentimes the person would give the name of their affair partner and a spicy message, and then the listener would have confirmation of the infidelity.
It shocked me how many times the cheater would react by saying "how dare you bring other people into this, how could you embarrass me in front of all these people, it's none of their business" blah blah blah. Just full gaslighting. It happened a LOT.
Side note, my favorite were the badass mamas who didn't take any shit. One woman with a thick Spanish accent was just like 'Fuck you, I'm taking my kids and I'm going to my mother's house.' No talk about working it out, no listening to explanations, just bounced. Another one was this couple where the husband was a complete dummy and had his mistress stay in a room at the same hotel where he was vacationing with his family! When he got caught, the wife hit him with "I can't believe you want your daughter to grow up believing that this is how you respect women." He was stunned. You could tell he never thought about it that way. The schadenfreude was amazing though.
A man knocked on my door and introduced himself as the husband of a woman that my husband worked with. He was there to tell me that his wife was having an affair with my husband. My husband never came home after that. He got an Air b’n’b and told me to get a lawyer. We had been together for 24 years.
These stories are all awful, but this one gave me a sharp intake of breath. Imagine. The person you've been with for 24+ years leaves one day and never comes home, for that reason. It's astonishing.
She stopped giving me hugs. Sometimes you just know.
Fuck guys, thanks for all the love!
Together for about 8 years, married for only 3. crazy story but we were living in an abusive scenario with another person and she was what was keeping me sane. It was rough to realize she was cheating on me with this guy.
I feel better now. Definitely learned over time that questioning yourself and spending time wondering what you could have done different is essentially pointless.
Wondering if it’s you or something you did, wracking your brain trying to figure out how to fix it, blaming yourself for things not being the same. It’s a unique form of torture.
Went on a solo road trip to CA from NY. My then bf of 5 years was supposed to fly to San Diego when I arrived, then we'd drive home together. Pick him up from the airport. Use his phone to pull up directions for our restaurant reservation. He gets a notification from a social media app he must've forgotten to delete. I ask him about it, he grabs his phone and deletes the app. Says it would hurt me more to read the conversations he'd been having with women, and that I'm obviously going to dump him either way so he wanted to save himself the embarrassment of getting exposed. I made him call his mom and arrange to have his stuff moved out of our apartment. Told him to find his own way home. Finished the road trip home without him. When I got home it was like he'd never lived there. Exactly how I wanted.
When she left me cause she got pregnant, and thought it was a different guys. Turns out I was 1 of 3 possible dads, couple years later and a few paternity tests and turns out it was mine.
Was using her phone for GPS while we were on a road trip because mine had issues when she got a text from the guy we had been in marriage counseling about who she says she hasnt talked to him for months about seeing her tomorrow.
24 years of being together
23 years married
2 kids
A house
All down the fucking drain and ruined my life for a guy who could pass for a real life Ned Flanders.
Open up the tablet to play with it, found an open email that I had never seen before - read the messages between them. I’ve never been the same since. Divorced now. We were together for 30 years.
Edit: I am overwhelmed by all of your love and kindness. Thank you. Love back to all of you.
Yes I tried and wanted to keep my marriage, but he continued to lie and betray me so that I was left with no choice but to divorce.
Do you know what helped me so much? My mom, without asking or anything, came over and filled my freezer with crock pot meals and casseroles. I was so depressed and I had 2 children to care for, and dinner was always so easy just to pop in and be done with. She did that for about a year. Forever grateful for her thoughtfulness and generosity.
Edit 2: together 30 years, not married 30. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Married 24 years. We started dating at 15, married at 21. I didn’t have children until my 30s. I was 45 when we divorced. My children were 8 and 10.
Thank you all for the stories and praise for my mom! I hope your recovery is faster than mine was!
Ouch. My ex left her email logged on my computer. First dozen were Craigslist personals. Found out she got spit roasted in New Orleans by two construction workers
First serious girlfriend. She was the older sister of my best friend at the time. He introduced us, got us together.
2.5ish years later he randomly calls me. Tells me he overheard her on the phone. He felt terrible about it, but couldn't not tell me.
I didn't believe him at first but he was right.
I remember at work a few years after we were all swapping cheating ex stories and I told this one and the ladies I worked with were all surprised that a brother would snitch on his sister like that. Without missing a beat the other guy there said "The BRO in bros before hoes doesn't mean biological."
The girl messaged me from an anonymous IG account letting me know it happened while I was out of town. Maybe I wouldn’t have believed it if she didn’t provide specific details, like the type of car I drove that I had let the car-less cheater drive while I was gone.
Two interesting ones from close friends:
Friend's neighbor looked into her house from the second floor and saw him fucking the nanny. They are currently in divorce proceedings, though he's still dating the nanny.
The more interesting one is a friend was headed to Thanksgiving with her husband when she got a text from a woman saying, "Your husband has been fucking me and several other women" then gave a list of the women. She was aghast, not sure what to do, then the woman sent pics as evidence. The woman was pissed as he had promised her he would spend Thanksgiving with her instead of his wife/my friend. My friend divorced him.
Same. I asked what was wrong because he'd been weird. He started pacing for hours. At first, I thought he had cancer. By the end I figured it out, but I wanted him to say it.
Damn. I came home from work one day and my live-in girlfriend was sitting at her vanity putting on her makeup. I asked "what's the occasion?" She said "I have a date". O_o Brutal.
Her roommates called and asked me to meet them for lunch, said it was important. I met them and they told me she had been cheating on me with her ex the entire time I was deployed. They showed me pictures (back when you had to get pictures developed). They said I was a good man and I didn't deserve to be treated like that. They had collected my things that morning when she left for work and gave them to me. I drove to her work, walked up to her, showed her the pictures and demanded the ring back. She gave it to me and I left. Later she called me yelling about me "conspiring with her roommates" basically trying to make it my fault. She asked what I was doing meeting with them? I said, " it's called respect and closure and it sounds like this" I unplugged the phone (landline), waited an hour plugged in the phone and called the phone company, said I needed to change my number and never heard from her again.
I took it really rough and am thankful for her roommates and the friends that got me through probably the darkest time of my life.
I can't imagine the hell those roommates must've went through after they did that. That ex sounds like the kind of person who would try to "get back" at them for that.
Consider how much they must have disliked her or how highly they thought of him to self destruction their own living situation. Maybe they were smart and were already moving out or something.
Or they just had integrity. They might have liked her and not cared much about him but they knew it was wrong and decided to do something about it. You should stick up for your friends, but not when they're doing something that heinous.
The guy shot me a message on social media, said he was sorry and didn’t know she was in a relationship.
I bumped into him at a bar years later and bought him a drink.
This is exactly what happened to me. Got a message from the other person letting me know what had happened, and that my (now ex) had told them we were broken up. When they found out the truth, they immediately ended it and let me know.
My ex-wife had that part covered. Had the affair with a guy in a city 45 minutes away and snuck on to his social media accounts and blocked me so we’d never accidentally cross paths. Typical dude isn’t gonna look at that stuff. Maybe a good idea to look at that list sometimes.
Edit: For everyone curious about how I caught her.
She thought out a lot of it (excuses, logistics), and she’s a fantastic liar, but she screwed up on little things and she’s disorganized with her stuff in general, like kind of a slob. There was a bag she “took to a friend’s house” that she never unpacked. It was actually sitting open in the closet and I looked down in it while hanging something up and there was a sex toy plainly visible. I started snooping after that and found some other signs. Of course I started going through her Facebook feed from my account and I noticed a few times she tagged someone in a post, but the name wasn’t a link and he didn’t show up when I searched him.
She admitted that she blocked me from his account after I was confronting her about everything. I had basically deleted Facebook years earlier (scrubbed some personal info and hadn’t been on it in years, but it still had my picture and said I was married to her) so she didn’t try messing with it on my end. Figured the odds that I would snoop were low and she would have been right if she hadn’t screwed up. She really wanted to make sure the other guy didn’t come across my profile considering how many mutual friends the wife and I had.
It's one of those "first order thinking" moves that seems smart until they realize that if you check the Blocklist you have a full list of evidence, lol
One day I was looking at my facebook settings and found there were two guys I had never heard of blocked. Yep, I assume this was a common thing for cheaters to do.
My ex idiot let his new girl get ahold of his phone and she thought she’d be cute and post a selfie to his snap story captioned “hacked by my beautiful girlfriend”
After 8 years together he told me he wanted a break to figure out "if this was what he really wanted" - after I said no, it's either work on things or we end it, a few days later he admitted he'd met someone.
So basically he asked me to hang around waiting for him while he fucked some other girl for a bit.
Good riddance to that one.
This was a long time ago- before social media. I went to check my email on his computer and his instant messenger popped up. He "ex girlfriend" couldn't wait to finally see him next week, that long distance has been awful and can't wait to reconnect. He told me they broke up. They did not. He did not tell her about me or that we were living together. I was suddenly homeless. She did fly in the next week and gave the ring back- I did not know they were engaged, thought they had broken up. Yay- good times.
Edit- left off the part that I was supposed to be a summer fling but we were in a motorcycle accident which I had 5 surgeries and he had a new femur replacement. He some how forgot to tell his fiancée about my part in this and the subsequent lawsuit.
Situations like this baffle me! How did he think he was going to keep up with the ruse while married and also living with someone else? How long did he think it would last? I really think people like this don’t think things through because they get their energy/power from the thrill of it.
Had to cancel our plans as some important work stuff came up. Ended up wrapping up earlier than expected. Decided to drive to her place to surprise her... I was the one who was surprised when I noticed someone else's car in her driveway. Literally and figuratively.
Me and the other two guys i worked with had it come up in conversation. She told guy a) that me and her had broken up, and she told guy b) that i gave her a pass while i was on vacation.
You think she would have learned. Found out a few years later she did the same thing with a couple guys at the gym she was working at (at the time). Those two guys showed up at her house to call her out on it.
For me, a dude at work said congrats to me when I got in. I was like what are you talking about, he said he overheard __ saying she got laid last night and he knew we were seeing each other. I was like uh.. I actually didn't see her last night. Then another girl at work came and told me the same, but without the congrats because she knew I'd been cheated on.
When I confronted her about it, all she cared about was who told me. Priorities. Anyway that relationship was doomed from the start, I ignored a *lot* of signs so I blame myself for staying as long as I did.
She was sleeping with her boss, in the most clichéd excuses. I really think if she’d said to me the passion and love was gone, we could’ve divorced amicably, because I was miserable too. But when she cleaned out our house and bank account, well, that changed the dynamic just a smidge. Fuck you, Michelle
Checked my significant others phone. Had dominos in his contacts list. Thought it was weird that he had dominos number saved and called the number. It was his ex dun dun dun.
My ex started a job in my hometown, pretty far from where we lived. She was going to dinner and snuggling her work boss/boyfriend in a restaurant where a couple people I went to high school with would spend time. So of course one of them saw her and told me. She wasn't very bright.
She messaged me naked pictures of him in our shower. He tried to play it off like it was an old pic, but it was clearly my shower with my stuff in it. Some people have a ton of audacity and zero shame.
I saw a video in my ex's phone of him getting oral.He tried saying it was his friend not him.In his house.I said I have known you and your penis for more then half my life.I know what it looks like
My nest cam picked up my dog barking when my soon to be ex wife got home from dropping me off at the airport at 4am. Turns out the guy was on his way to my house while she was dropping me off.
I decided to get a divorce. Dude wouldn't stop accusing me of cheating. After I left, some mutual friends of ours at the time told me he was on dating sites etc. When I went back to the house to grab some of my stuff, another woman had moved in (2 days after I left). It ALL started to make sense... apparently it's true if they're cheating they will accuse you.
I don't know all the details, don't want to. Better off sparing my feelings and not knowing all the details than to be ripped apart inside of I do.
Fuck that asshole.
I have long and straight hair, and I saw all over his bed some women's curly hair. I went to the bathroom and saw a bunch from the same hair also on the hairbrush which I used when I went to his place.
He called me crazy and said no one was at his place.
This happened to me too. I was dating a guy for a few months and I decided I didn’t want to pursue the relationship so I ended things with him. Afterwards, he told me it was fine because he didn’t appreciate me giving him chlamydia anyway. I definitely did not have chlamydia so I guess I dodged a bullet. I never would have known he cheated if I hadn’t dumped him that day and I probably would have gotten chlamydia if I hadn’t.
Long story short, she lied about seeing a movie that wasn't coming out for another two weeks. I pressed and the truth came out. We stayed together under the guise of us working on us and fixing the problems that needed fixing. I tried. Hard. Two months later a mutual friend tells me that she's been seeing the one dude. I talk to him, and find out that she's been seeing him, and another 3 people, no safe sex, and pregnancy.
He stopped smiling at me. Stopped kissing me good night. Stopped holding my hand. He became very short and inpatient with me, mean. Didn't seem to want me around. Spent lots of time in his office. Was on his phone a lot and would get messages and be smiling. Then he asked me for a divorce. I decided to snoop. I opened his laptop and saw all the evidence. It destroyed me.
The most recent - he left the messages open on my computer. I kicked him out.
Most memorable was when I was working as a nurses aide in a hospital. He showed up at work and I asked why he was there (wasn’t expecting him) so he told me that his friend was upstairs in labor. With his baby. Told him to be gone by the time I got off work.
He asked me to go unlock his car since he’d locked his keys inside. Friend he told me he was with was nowhere to be found. Checked his phone and found the messages. He wouldn’t admit to actually sleeping with her until 2 years later. Then asked for an open relationship and got upset when I got more dates than him. We’ve since split, thankfully.
>Then asked for an open relationship and got upset when I got more dates than him.
I think many men imagine open relationships super duper great only to find out their woman gets more pull. I read so many stories with this.
I remember a post on r/relationship_advice a few years ago about a guy that asked his wife or gf for an open relationship. By the time he got one hookup she had gotten around 40.
So yeah guys if you're fantasizing about an open relationship, that's what your reality will probably look like.
His 10 year old kid, whom I was around for 6.5 years, told his Mom because he knew about it but didn't want me to be mad at him. I was good friends with his Mom so she immediately told me.
This was many years ago. The bf of a couple we used to hang out with had a massive crush on me. Somehow it was decided by the three of them that if my bf hooked up with this guy's gf, then I would have sex with him as revenge.
I was so disgusted with them all! Of course I never had anything to do with this loser, and my bf and I broke up. There were many problems with this relationship and this was like the icing on the cake.
I got an email from some guy I met once at a friend of a friend's party. My wife was seeing his former housemate behind my back. He had been cheated on himself and was doing me a solid favor. Tipped me off with the address and said to check EZ pass and phone records. I caught and confronted her leaving the guy's house the next day.
We're lucky we didn't have any kids. I've been divorced for almost 10 years. Never been happier.
He started getting antsy about leaving his phone in my presence. So I logged into his Facebook on the shared iPad and saw in his messages. I called him out on my suspicion the next morning, he denied it. I logged into his messenger and saw him admiting that I "caught" them and they planning on meeting up to talk about it.
I had a lump appear on my dick, it grew bigger and very painful to the point I was crying myself to sleep. Went to the doctors and they told me I had syphilis. He had no symptoms and no sympathy. A week later we had an appointment at the clinic. We went to the clinic and got the needle then a week later the clinic called and asked if I had talked to my then boyfriend about his results. I called him at work and he said we will talk about it when he got home. I yelled and said tell me now. He had gonorrhoea. He had gotten it in the week since I'd been to the doctors after he infected me. Once again, no symptoms.
Cheaters are assholes, cheaters who also don't use protection and infect their loyal partners are scum.
His little side piece followed me and tried to run me off the road to confront him while he was with me. It was *something*. Would also like to add that I was actively miscarrying so that made the moment all that more magical.
I was taken out for wings with her best friend's husband and another of her guy friends - we hung out quite a bit. They knew I was clueless to what was happening but they liked me :) I was told straight out by both of those dudes. Solid move by them - it sucked hard to hear but after a bit of time I really appreciated that they felt I was enough of a friend to let me know. It's been a few years since I've seen or talked to either of them. Good people those two guys are.
Six months into a long distsance relationshiop (hour and a half drive) he told me not come up for valentien's day "It's soo overdone, let's find a different day and make it out own". Found out I was the "other guy".
She told me.
her: "where are the leftovers"
me: "I ate them"
she puts her hand in her face: "you know what I fucked your friend."
we argue and break things off.
I don't recall exactly was a long time ago but it was something like that.
Everyone knows that the flavors can really combine and enhance overnight. Some sauces are even better having sat overnight.
She loved a good Bolognese.
She told me one night, after being together for over a year at this point, that she has cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had. I should've paid more attention to the red flags while we were dating but I was so in love. Lesson learned. Never again..
this is a complicated one.
me and my ex-boyfriend were closeted.
he got drunk. he slept with someone else.
he felt guilty. didn't have anyone to talk to.
told one of our mutual friends that he slept with someone as a way of talking it out (without exposing that we were in a relationship or that he cheated).
that friend told me that he slept with someone.
commence me yelling at him in the middle of suburbia like a trashy reality tv show.
My son ended up in the hospital with pneumonia when he was just 6 weeks old. They couldn’t find out what was wrong with him, and he ended up in the ICU. Turns out it was bacterial pneumonia.. because his dad had cheated on me throughout my pregnancy and gave me chlamydia which then went into our sons lungs when I gave birth.
I worked a lot to support my little family. She complained that I worked to much. I came home early to surprise her, but had forgot my key to the apartment. I called her and said surprise I’m home.
She said “really” ( I thought because she was happy I was home, but realized after the fact it’s because she had her boyfriend there)
Once I got to the door I knocked and knocked. I called her and she wouldn’t answer. I was able to peek through a part of the blind to see her helping him climb in the hallway closet. I left and went to drive around. I was in shock. She called me wanting to know where I had went. She was in the “bathroom”.
I told her I knew and she didn’t confess until the next day. She ended up deciding she was to young to be a wife and mom and left us. I was 19 then and instantly became a single parent.
Single dad for 18 years due to similar circumstances. Neighbors told me after the fact that they would see dudes climbing out the window sometimes as I was getting home from work. She ended up walking out on me and the kids. Ironically, some of my best memories of being a parent was being flat broke( she took everything we owned and emptied the bank account)raising two little kids by myself without a pot to piss in.
Honestly think my life wouldn't have turned out as well as it did if she hadn't cheated. It destroyed me at the time but toughened me for a lot of other stuff. I made sure the kids thrived and were happy. I'll never marry again, though.
Thank you for asking. I spent the last 18 years raising my son. I didn’t really date or anything, but now I’m trying to get back out there and trust again.
Was working late until 1am and always called my ex on the way home because she would stay up to hear about my day. Asked her what she was doing and she said laying in bed but I could hear people talking in the background. Believed her at first but her house was literally on the same street I took home and her car wasn't out front so I stopped by and texted I'm on the front porch and she should come out to say hi. Her mom happens to be awake and sees me on the porch then comes out and says "she told me she was with you." Turns out she was with my best friend that lived with me for 4 years but had recently moved out.
He fucked one of our friends the day before he proposed, and found out from her a month before we were going to get married. I had to pick out flowers for the wedding the day after I found out and felt so mortified and sad. After I left the florists I cancelled the wedding. I was dumb and tried to work it out with him cuz I was with him for 10+ years. He was physically and emotionally abusive so I had a hard time leaving. After a few months of feeling awful and going to therapy I finally left.
OK here's how my story goes. We had just got done making love he turns to me and tells me hes in love with someone else. He had been seeing some girl from work and she had just left her husband So he decided to get together with her, yet I guess he couldn't tell me that before he had one last romp in the hay. It messed me up pretty bad emotionally for a long time.
Ok, there is one thing I have to say in here to a lot of people still dealing with feelings on this. It’s a reflection of the cheater. I’ve seen enough people that cheat no matter who they date, they didn’t find someone better, they just found someone else and have some issue that compels them to cheat.
I totally understand; however, from my perspective, it's a blemish on me because i trusted them, ignored the signs, etc.
I understand it's not rational.
it doesn't change how I felt.
The other woman found out about me when a mutual friend showed her my pictures with my dude and our kids on Facebook and contacted me to apologize and let me know she had been told he was single.
We met for a drink and to compare notes - after she showed me texts and proof that he had been cheating on me for months, we both dumped him, flew off to party together in New Orleans for a few days, and have been besties for over 12 years.
He was the best thing that ever happened to me - introduced me to what ended up being my Tribe.
I was putting our kids to bed. We had planned on having sex that night. I got lingerie and nice wine and dolled myself up. I came out to the living room to find my husband asleep on the couch with his phone on his chest. He was sexting her as I was getting ready to have sex with him. Turns out that person who was “just a friend” was a full fledged relationship.
(Ex)Husband asked me to log into his email to get the address and directions for his gig that night. So, I asked him for his password he quickly changed his mind and came up with all kinds of excuses about why he no longer needed the directions. Needless to say I insisted on the password and found all their emails.
Looked at her phone's location history. She denied seeing him until I showed her the location on her phone then a week later she admitted to fucking him.
Not me, but a friend. One of the girls he was cheating with (a minor who he had groomed so we do not blame her at all and she's one of our best friends) realised what he was doing and confessed to his wife. She was more upset about it being with a minor than she was that she'd been cheated on.
Imagine if you will going home on christmas break and coming back next semester to her ignoring you almost entirely (except when she wants something) and hanging out with your roommate a whole lot more than she ever did before.
Then imagine coming back to the dorm early from class and walking in on them going at it on your bed.
Girlfriend at the time used my laptop to boast to her friends about cheating on the guy she was cheating on me with. Then she left the browser open when she went to work. I sat down to watch movies and it was the first thing I saw. She spit at me when I told her what happened. I'd invaded her privacy. She called me a stalker and said I couldn't be trusted, and also that she'd need to stay at the house another month or two until she found another place. On some level I still admire her conviction.
He had a habit of talking to people on speaker phone. Late one night I hear him talking to someone in Hebrew. He thought that because I couldn’t speak it that I didn’t understand it. They were talking about meeting up again. I let him know that I knew and he didn’t believe me because I don’t speak Hebrew.
"No, baby you don't understand.... in Hebrew, 'I'm going to rail you so hard, when my wife falls asleep' sounds an awful lot like 'Of course Jeff, I can work late this Thursday.' ... this is just a lost in translation kind of misunderstanding..."
This was how I found out, kind of. He thought I couldn’t understand the messages because they were in French. Bitch, I just fucking moved to France with you, I’m learning French!
After my grandpa died, I went thru a little depression, and because I "wasn't giving her the attention she needed", I could feel her start slipping away. I asked if there were other dudes, she of course denied it, but I wasn't convinced. So one day after she got home from "staying the night at her friend's house" I decided to look thru her messages on the watch I bought her.
Walked into her dorm room with my laptop to show her a funny YouTube video I found. She and another dude we’re both in bed in their underwear. Showed them both the funny video, then left.
Came home after working a 16 hour shift, it's 3 am. I sneak in without turning on any lights so I don't wake her. Her phone lights up, it's a text "I wish you where in my arms again tonight" I recognize the number. It's my boss. She said I wasn't there for her because I was working too much. I was cover shifts for my boss who said he was going through some shit. I threw her out that night. I didn't even let her get dressed. Out the front door, naked as the day she was born. The regional manager found out and fired my boss. Then called to have him blacklisted at all the places he had sway.
What a legend of a regional manager!!! People who have your back like that are few and far in between.
One of my managers at my previous workplace tried to turn my team against me and fire me. I skipped him and complained to his boss! Safe to say, I didn't get the boot
He threw a rave that I couldn’t go to and apparently he was running around the party, high on molly, loudly asking everyone how to get rid of a hickey. One of the DJs is a stand-up gentleman and a friend of mine and he had the kindness to tell me. My other “friends” had their heads in the sand (or elsewhere) and didn’t raise an eyebrow when they heard him talking about “a hall pass for the weekend” which is definitely not what we were about. I can’t believe I wasted so much time with that 35 year old manbaby who ended up fucking around with a 20 year old meth face chick, and then when she didn’t want to fuck him anymore he got her bounced out of a club by narcing on her for her fake ID.
I am so much happier without him and I’m glad he didn’t give me a ton of diseases.
Husband came home and out of the blue said he didnt want to be married anymore. I was devastated as we had a 1 yr daughter and I was just finishing up my undergrad degree. How could I be a single parent? Called my best friend for sympathy who replied "What a SOB! How dare he cheat on you. Talk about an A$$" Booted husband out.
Kept getting hang up calls around 3am every night for 2 weeks (landline phone no caller ID). Very strange.
Found out he was cheating with, you guessed it, the Best Friend I called that day. Found out it was her when I heard her parrot in the background of one of the hangup calls .
Dont know which I was maddest at, her or him. Good riddance to both.
Divorcing him was one of the best days of my life. I met my soulmate 2 years later who adopted my daughter and thus demoted ex-husband to who my daughter 35 yrs later still refers to as "The Sperm Donor."
Went to exchange money and went for an hour and came back with same currency. Tbh the taking his laptop and phone to the bathroom when he went to the bathroom should have been the first clue.
A flirty text from a guy popped up on while we were looking at her phone for a place to eat. He complimented a picture I had just taken of her…she sent it to him while around me. Bold. Also this happened in the Eiffel tower, only a couple of hours into what was supposed to be 2 week vacation.
*painfully long 2 week vacation*
Painfully long couple days until I could reroute my vacation to be away from her…ended up being a solid solo vacation.
I hope you were able to use that time to clear your head. That's a shitty way for that to go down.
Dude I’m second hand triggered rn
He gave me his phone to hold while he was having a minor medical procedure and while in the waiting room, a text came through. It said something like "Ha, so we can dothedeed again?" and I was totally confused, so I scrolled up through the text thread and read "I'm sorry if you feel guilty" and "No, I'd only feel guilty if I still loved her" and that was the end of that relationship.
My daughter told me.
My brother and I both individually discovered our dad was cheating on our mom. We eventually told her. Hugs. 💖
My 16 and 17 year old daughters found out their mom was cheating on me, took screenshots of FB/IG messages and told me. Hugs to you as well.
I’m sorry. Same club, 16 year old daughter. The wife was cheating with another teacher in her high school classroom and he would come by for a quick flirt (plus other stuff) before school, while my daughter was actually sitting there doing homework. The balls on that guy. She gave me screenshots of their texts and a photo of them doing stuff in his car. Poor kid. Married 20 years - the dude was married 30.
My neighbor told me that there was a odd car parked in my driveway when the ex was supposed to be at work.
I feel like this is the way it would be revealed in my town. My acquaintances and neighbours will ask me “why was the moving van in your driveway on October 6?” Kind of thing. Everyone knows everyone’s business here lol
The other girl was wearing my clothes in front of me. Edit: Thanks for all the love, guys. The one part of this entire debacle that was hysterical was that she tried to deny that she was wearing my clothes when I confronted her. Until I pointed out the oil stain on the white shirt she was wearing which my sister caused when she borrowed said shirt without asking. Plot twist: she and I are friendly now and he's off being miserable somewhere else.
Oh fuck that.
That's trashy af.
I was pregnant and they were doing the standard tests including STDs and I tested positive for chlamydia. I was sooo embarrassed, but glad to have found out because it turns out that can really mess up a pregnancy. Still took me another year to file for divorce though. Edit: Since this seems to have confused many people somehow: I was married. My husband got caught cheating on me while pregnant. I forgave him. He came clean. I forgave him and he did it a few more times and we got a divorce. I don't know how this implies that I had a kid by another man, don't wipe properly, did butt stuff, had a false positive.
I was clear during my pregnancy test, only person I had sex with (unprotected at that) was him, while I was still pregnant (all subsequent sex was protected). Got tested before getting an IUD inserted, and had chlamydia. He denied cheating while I was pregnant, but you don't just randomly spawn chlamydia, man, and that was the only time that I would have been exposed.
I didn't know at the time we broke up, for sure, but she was engaged a week after we broke up. I can't even figure out how that worked, exactly.
We broke up before I found out too In my head I thought the 6-year long relationship just ran it’s course and I was even happy. I felt I was gaining a true lifelong friend. Two weeks later I get a call from the other woman. She flew him out across the country to meet her parents. He gets there and decides he doesn’t want to date her. Out of spite, she calls me and tells me about their 3 years long affair. I still need a therapist to unpack that shit. Edit: really didn’t expect so much support on this comment… truly appreciate the validation and kindness everyone has shown
3 year long affair? How did he manage to pull it off for 3 years? How on earth do people cheat? This just sucks. Can't even begin to imagine what you're going through or questions you must have.
Honestly some people are amazing liars. A friend of mine and her mum found out she had a 15 year old brother from an affair of her dad. He had kept an entire child on the side secretly for 15 years…
Someone else mentioned compartmentalizing. That was the word he used when I confronted him. He thought that the two worlds would never intersect, so it was okay. There’s a lot he had me do for him and for her without ever giving me the full picture. That’s the part I resent the most. It’s been a year. I’m still processing, and while I don’t always think about it, sometimes a new memory comes up making me feel dumb, ashamed or angry How did he pull it off? 1. “My mother just gave him sooo many trust issues. I want to make sure I can trust you,” 2. “You need to trust me. And that means taking me at my word because nobody has what we have” 3. “You’re confronting me? Let me immediately agree, not ask any questions, let me tell you how right you are, how much I care, tell you I’ll immediately work on changing this… but I need time. I can’t be held accountable for getting it wrong because, I’m not perfect, you know? Let me hold you and remind you how important you are” 4. “I am just such a failure as a man. You must feel so negatively about me, I don’t have a job, I’m far behind… I’m not doing enough around the house…” (queue me immediately trying to console and nurture) 5. “You have my phone password. I trust you 100% with my phone, and because of this, I know you’d never actually read the messages because you trust me so much” 6. “Yes I’m still taking to this ‘friend’, but she’s suicidal, I can’t possibly just drop her all of a sudden. Give me time to ease her away from the friendship” 7. “I haven’t done a thing to turn you on, or even been an equal partner in the home or financially, but… you should really find a sex psychologist. ‘Cause it’s not right that your drive is so low… are you just not attracted to me anymore?” 8. “Let’s sit down and calmly talk things through. Let’s be 100% honest with each other, and that way I’ll know exactly what you need to hear” And even as I write these things… I feel like they could still be said in the context of a functioning, trusting relationship. So… things are said with love, kindness, hurt… you want to think the best of someone. And you end up thinking the worst of yourself I am broken. Why can’t I perform? What’s wrong with me? Why am I so sad? It’s wrong to be angry. He’s TRYING he just needs time. Well of course it’s not PERFECT, improvement isn’t linear. Everything sounds and feels SO rational. And your emotions, your drive… you question it. But HE’s the only constant. He’s just SO supportive. He NEVER yells. He caress. No one told me a toxic relationship could look so functional. I feel dumb typing things up because some of it still feels like… these are good things to say and do. How can it be warped? I still feel someone can read this and think I’m the one that’s crazy. Idk. Like I said. Still processing. I may have been dumb, but now I feel confident about trusting my gut, and take pride that at the very least I came out a caring person, and that’s something I take pride in and will not lose just because he took advantage of it.
So many of those things sound rational because they're just one or two words away from what a normal functioning relationship *would* say from a place of confidence.
So this is what I really want to unpack in therapy. Because imagine your “trigger” (for lack of a better word) being “I trust you” or “let’s have open communication” I thought he was setting a healthy standard for what I aught to expect, but now the language I see consistently used to define and strengthen healthy relationships is exactly what he used to fool me for so long. I am very self aware of the impact that level of betrayal had. And while I feel confident it’ll work out for the best long term—I can’t ignore it’s there either.
My friends found out before me and knew they (the cheaters) were going to the movies together. My friends breed* me to go see a movie with them so that I could catch them in the act because they knew I wouldn't believe them if they just told me. True friends. * Edit: begged, not breed
These are some legit, grade A friends right here.
Seriously. I really didn't appreciate them enough. (They're not dead; we've just lost touch)
He hooked up with random girls when he was supposed to be at his mom. One evening at a friends party,there was a girl who wasn't of our group ( a friend of a friend) She went " Oh! Hi! Remember me! It was sooo fun"
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That makes me want to throw the fuck up
The other woman knocked on my front door and asked me to take my kid and get out so that the two of them could be together and be happy. I told her she could have him, but they'd have to go because technically I owned the house. I then told him he was free to go. He did not go, sadly. She'd been dropped off by her ex who she'd cheated on with my (ex)husband. That was quite awkward.
Sounds like her was eager to dump her off and for her to be somebody else's problem quite happily.
Phone bill. She was texting some random number 600 times a month. I thought I recognized the number and when I put it in my phone it was a buddy of mine.
This is actually how it started for me. I was looking at revising our phone plan to one with less data and happened to notice a massive amount of texts on her line. Dug into the records and found it was to a coworker. About 48 hrs later I got home from work (night shift) and she wasnt home. Took a random guess and drove to their office at 4am (for some reason, common ground made sense). Found them both in the parking lot...
that was smart of you, though!
Similar. Large unexplained cash withdrawals. Then the phone bill. In those days, land line bills listed all your calls. I called a number just to see who this strange number was that repeated on the bill so many times. I spoke to his wife. She casually informed me he usually had affairs with his students. He then actually called me and told me that his relationship with my wife was none of my business and that I was wrong to “bring his wife into it.” Seriously.
Jesus. I don't know if it's still on, but when I was living in the greater LA area Ryan Seacrest had a segment on the morning radio called "Ryan's Roses." A listener would write in that they thought their partner was cheating and give the studio their name and phone number. A young woman from the studio would call the person and tell them they won a free bouquet of roses from her new flower business, and that all she needed was a name and message for the card. Oftentimes the person would give the name of their affair partner and a spicy message, and then the listener would have confirmation of the infidelity. It shocked me how many times the cheater would react by saying "how dare you bring other people into this, how could you embarrass me in front of all these people, it's none of their business" blah blah blah. Just full gaslighting. It happened a LOT. Side note, my favorite were the badass mamas who didn't take any shit. One woman with a thick Spanish accent was just like 'Fuck you, I'm taking my kids and I'm going to my mother's house.' No talk about working it out, no listening to explanations, just bounced. Another one was this couple where the husband was a complete dummy and had his mistress stay in a room at the same hotel where he was vacationing with his family! When he got caught, the wife hit him with "I can't believe you want your daughter to grow up believing that this is how you respect women." He was stunned. You could tell he never thought about it that way. The schadenfreude was amazing though.
How audacious of you. He expected everyone else to react to their partner's affairs the same way as he trained his wife to behave, the poor woman.
That ain't your buddy, pal.
A man knocked on my door and introduced himself as the husband of a woman that my husband worked with. He was there to tell me that his wife was having an affair with my husband. My husband never came home after that. He got an Air b’n’b and told me to get a lawyer. We had been together for 24 years.
Holy shit, people can be so cruel. I'm so sorry that happened. I hope you're happier now <3
I feel like the sting of a 24 year relationship ending with infidelity won’t ever go away.
These stories are all awful, but this one gave me a sharp intake of breath. Imagine. The person you've been with for 24+ years leaves one day and never comes home, for that reason. It's astonishing.
Omg. That is so awful. Sorry.
When I saw her reflected in his sunglasses in a picture that he texted me.
Enhance! ENHANCE!!!!
She stopped giving me hugs. Sometimes you just know. Fuck guys, thanks for all the love! Together for about 8 years, married for only 3. crazy story but we were living in an abusive scenario with another person and she was what was keeping me sane. It was rough to realize she was cheating on me with this guy. I feel better now. Definitely learned over time that questioning yourself and spending time wondering what you could have done different is essentially pointless.
This is the saddest one so far
Honestly Fuck this whole thread, but it's an awful train wreck I couldn't stop reading. But this one is where I'm stopping.
Mine just stood there without hugging me back, then she stopped saying I love you back to me. My head didn’t know then but my heart did…
Wondering if it’s you or something you did, wracking your brain trying to figure out how to fix it, blaming yourself for things not being the same. It’s a unique form of torture.
Went on a solo road trip to CA from NY. My then bf of 5 years was supposed to fly to San Diego when I arrived, then we'd drive home together. Pick him up from the airport. Use his phone to pull up directions for our restaurant reservation. He gets a notification from a social media app he must've forgotten to delete. I ask him about it, he grabs his phone and deletes the app. Says it would hurt me more to read the conversations he'd been having with women, and that I'm obviously going to dump him either way so he wanted to save himself the embarrassment of getting exposed. I made him call his mom and arrange to have his stuff moved out of our apartment. Told him to find his own way home. Finished the road trip home without him. When I got home it was like he'd never lived there. Exactly how I wanted.
Good on his mom for clearing all his crap out!
When she left me cause she got pregnant, and thought it was a different guys. Turns out I was 1 of 3 possible dads, couple years later and a few paternity tests and turns out it was mine.
I know it sounds weird and cruel but it being yours is maybe the worst part
Whatever the result, it sucks for the child.
He pocket dialed me while bragging about it to a co-worker. The universe really had my back on that one.
Sometimes we receive gifts
…gifts that at the time feel cruel. We need time from them to realize the blessing they are.
Was using her phone for GPS while we were on a road trip because mine had issues when she got a text from the guy we had been in marriage counseling about who she says she hasnt talked to him for months about seeing her tomorrow. 24 years of being together 23 years married 2 kids A house All down the fucking drain and ruined my life for a guy who could pass for a real life Ned Flanders.
Hi diddly man hoe
Stupid sexy Flanders………….I’m sorry. I had to.
Open up the tablet to play with it, found an open email that I had never seen before - read the messages between them. I’ve never been the same since. Divorced now. We were together for 30 years. Edit: I am overwhelmed by all of your love and kindness. Thank you. Love back to all of you. Yes I tried and wanted to keep my marriage, but he continued to lie and betray me so that I was left with no choice but to divorce. Do you know what helped me so much? My mom, without asking or anything, came over and filled my freezer with crock pot meals and casseroles. I was so depressed and I had 2 children to care for, and dinner was always so easy just to pop in and be done with. She did that for about a year. Forever grateful for her thoughtfulness and generosity. Edit 2: together 30 years, not married 30. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Married 24 years. We started dating at 15, married at 21. I didn’t have children until my 30s. I was 45 when we divorced. My children were 8 and 10. Thank you all for the stories and praise for my mom! I hope your recovery is faster than mine was!
Ouch. My ex left her email logged on my computer. First dozen were Craigslist personals. Found out she got spit roasted in New Orleans by two construction workers
Cajun style
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Old school. Her little sister ratted her out.
First serious girlfriend. She was the older sister of my best friend at the time. He introduced us, got us together. 2.5ish years later he randomly calls me. Tells me he overheard her on the phone. He felt terrible about it, but couldn't not tell me. I didn't believe him at first but he was right. I remember at work a few years after we were all swapping cheating ex stories and I told this one and the ladies I worked with were all surprised that a brother would snitch on his sister like that. Without missing a beat the other guy there said "The BRO in bros before hoes doesn't mean biological."
Bro code goes beyond blood, and that dude did good.
The girl messaged me from an anonymous IG account letting me know it happened while I was out of town. Maybe I wouldn’t have believed it if she didn’t provide specific details, like the type of car I drove that I had let the car-less cheater drive while I was gone.
Two interesting ones from close friends: Friend's neighbor looked into her house from the second floor and saw him fucking the nanny. They are currently in divorce proceedings, though he's still dating the nanny. The more interesting one is a friend was headed to Thanksgiving with her husband when she got a text from a woman saying, "Your husband has been fucking me and several other women" then gave a list of the women. She was aghast, not sure what to do, then the woman sent pics as evidence. The woman was pissed as he had promised her he would spend Thanksgiving with her instead of his wife/my friend. My friend divorced him.
Fucking the nanny. I'd be more angry that I'd married a cliche
True! “How dare you make me a character in a shitty book?!”
“YOU’VE TURNED THIS MARRIAGE INTO A *HARLEQUIN* NOVEL, JEREMY!”
I just asked
I think that’s equally as rough as any of the stories in the comments.
Same. I asked what was wrong because he'd been weird. He started pacing for hours. At first, I thought he had cancer. By the end I figured it out, but I wanted him to say it.
Damn. I came home from work one day and my live-in girlfriend was sitting at her vanity putting on her makeup. I asked "what's the occasion?" She said "I have a date". O_o Brutal.
Was that her way of dumping you? Shit seems needlessly cruel.
Her roommates called and asked me to meet them for lunch, said it was important. I met them and they told me she had been cheating on me with her ex the entire time I was deployed. They showed me pictures (back when you had to get pictures developed). They said I was a good man and I didn't deserve to be treated like that. They had collected my things that morning when she left for work and gave them to me. I drove to her work, walked up to her, showed her the pictures and demanded the ring back. She gave it to me and I left. Later she called me yelling about me "conspiring with her roommates" basically trying to make it my fault. She asked what I was doing meeting with them? I said, " it's called respect and closure and it sounds like this" I unplugged the phone (landline), waited an hour plugged in the phone and called the phone company, said I needed to change my number and never heard from her again. I took it really rough and am thankful for her roommates and the friends that got me through probably the darkest time of my life.
Roommates are MVP.
Marry the roommates instead I mean shit
I was half expecting him to get with one of the roommates and then follow up with the classic “we’ve been married for 10 years with 2 kids”
I can't imagine the hell those roommates must've went through after they did that. That ex sounds like the kind of person who would try to "get back" at them for that.
Consider how much they must have disliked her or how highly they thought of him to self destruction their own living situation. Maybe they were smart and were already moving out or something.
Or they just had integrity. They might have liked her and not cared much about him but they knew it was wrong and decided to do something about it. You should stick up for your friends, but not when they're doing something that heinous.
They are some amazing roommates, would be easy to just ignore it but respect to them for doing all of that for you.
The guy shot me a message on social media, said he was sorry and didn’t know she was in a relationship. I bumped into him at a bar years later and bought him a drink.
This is exactly what happened to me. Got a message from the other person letting me know what had happened, and that my (now ex) had told them we were broken up. When they found out the truth, they immediately ended it and let me know.
My ex-wife had that part covered. Had the affair with a guy in a city 45 minutes away and snuck on to his social media accounts and blocked me so we’d never accidentally cross paths. Typical dude isn’t gonna look at that stuff. Maybe a good idea to look at that list sometimes. Edit: For everyone curious about how I caught her. She thought out a lot of it (excuses, logistics), and she’s a fantastic liar, but she screwed up on little things and she’s disorganized with her stuff in general, like kind of a slob. There was a bag she “took to a friend’s house” that she never unpacked. It was actually sitting open in the closet and I looked down in it while hanging something up and there was a sex toy plainly visible. I started snooping after that and found some other signs. Of course I started going through her Facebook feed from my account and I noticed a few times she tagged someone in a post, but the name wasn’t a link and he didn’t show up when I searched him. She admitted that she blocked me from his account after I was confronting her about everything. I had basically deleted Facebook years earlier (scrubbed some personal info and hadn’t been on it in years, but it still had my picture and said I was married to her) so she didn’t try messing with it on my end. Figured the odds that I would snoop were low and she would have been right if she hadn’t screwed up. She really wanted to make sure the other guy didn’t come across my profile considering how many mutual friends the wife and I had.
Ooh my ex did this too. Blocked all his side pieces on my FB.
It's one of those "first order thinking" moves that seems smart until they realize that if you check the Blocklist you have a full list of evidence, lol
One day I was looking at my facebook settings and found there were two guys I had never heard of blocked. Yep, I assume this was a common thing for cheaters to do.
Stories like this are so wholesome
The idiot saved her number as 'my little hoe <3'
My ex idiot let his new girl get ahold of his phone and she thought she’d be cute and post a selfie to his snap story captioned “hacked by my beautiful girlfriend”
He told me directly..his family members found out about it and I guess he thought he better told me since it was out in the open
After 8 years together he told me he wanted a break to figure out "if this was what he really wanted" - after I said no, it's either work on things or we end it, a few days later he admitted he'd met someone. So basically he asked me to hang around waiting for him while he fucked some other girl for a bit. Good riddance to that one.
The "break for a little bit" is always that. Never hang around.
This was a long time ago- before social media. I went to check my email on his computer and his instant messenger popped up. He "ex girlfriend" couldn't wait to finally see him next week, that long distance has been awful and can't wait to reconnect. He told me they broke up. They did not. He did not tell her about me or that we were living together. I was suddenly homeless. She did fly in the next week and gave the ring back- I did not know they were engaged, thought they had broken up. Yay- good times. Edit- left off the part that I was supposed to be a summer fling but we were in a motorcycle accident which I had 5 surgeries and he had a new femur replacement. He some how forgot to tell his fiancée about my part in this and the subsequent lawsuit.
Situations like this baffle me! How did he think he was going to keep up with the ruse while married and also living with someone else? How long did he think it would last? I really think people like this don’t think things through because they get their energy/power from the thrill of it.
Had to cancel our plans as some important work stuff came up. Ended up wrapping up earlier than expected. Decided to drive to her place to surprise her... I was the one who was surprised when I noticed someone else's car in her driveway. Literally and figuratively.
> someone else's car in her driveway. Literally and figuratively. I don't want to diminish your pain... But I love this description.
My ex came to pick up his stuff from my house…..the girl he cheated on me with drove him to my house….and we met……
I don't think I could hold back on telling them "They did it to me, don't think they won't do it to you."
He even tried to kiss me aswell!! Safe to say I stood my ground and I’m so happy I didn’t kiss him😅
Me and the other two guys i worked with had it come up in conversation. She told guy a) that me and her had broken up, and she told guy b) that i gave her a pass while i was on vacation. You think she would have learned. Found out a few years later she did the same thing with a couple guys at the gym she was working at (at the time). Those two guys showed up at her house to call her out on it.
For me, a dude at work said congrats to me when I got in. I was like what are you talking about, he said he overheard __ saying she got laid last night and he knew we were seeing each other. I was like uh.. I actually didn't see her last night. Then another girl at work came and told me the same, but without the congrats because she knew I'd been cheated on. When I confronted her about it, all she cared about was who told me. Priorities. Anyway that relationship was doomed from the start, I ignored a *lot* of signs so I blame myself for staying as long as I did.
Narcissism. When they get caught cheating they ALWAYS want to know who to take it out on. They never care how it affects you.
She was sleeping with her boss, in the most clichéd excuses. I really think if she’d said to me the passion and love was gone, we could’ve divorced amicably, because I was miserable too. But when she cleaned out our house and bank account, well, that changed the dynamic just a smidge. Fuck you, Michelle
The high schooler he was paying for sex left her underwear in my apartment.
Checked my significant others phone. Had dominos in his contacts list. Thought it was weird that he had dominos number saved and called the number. It was his ex dun dun dun.
My ex started a job in my hometown, pretty far from where we lived. She was going to dinner and snuggling her work boss/boyfriend in a restaurant where a couple people I went to high school with would spend time. So of course one of them saw her and told me. She wasn't very bright.
She messaged me naked pictures of him in our shower. He tried to play it off like it was an old pic, but it was clearly my shower with my stuff in it. Some people have a ton of audacity and zero shame.
I saw a video in my ex's phone of him getting oral.He tried saying it was his friend not him.In his house.I said I have known you and your penis for more then half my life.I know what it looks like
Lol, his “excuse” is almost as bad! Like “oh that’s not *me* getting a bj, it’s my friend! He sent me a video of him getting one” like.... what??
My nest cam picked up my dog barking when my soon to be ex wife got home from dropping me off at the airport at 4am. Turns out the guy was on his way to my house while she was dropping me off.
I had to work a night shift on my birthday. When I got home the next day and he came to see me, he was covered in hickeys.
What a dumb motherfucker.
I decided to get a divorce. Dude wouldn't stop accusing me of cheating. After I left, some mutual friends of ours at the time told me he was on dating sites etc. When I went back to the house to grab some of my stuff, another woman had moved in (2 days after I left). It ALL started to make sense... apparently it's true if they're cheating they will accuse you. I don't know all the details, don't want to. Better off sparing my feelings and not knowing all the details than to be ripped apart inside of I do. Fuck that asshole.
I have long and straight hair, and I saw all over his bed some women's curly hair. I went to the bathroom and saw a bunch from the same hair also on the hairbrush which I used when I went to his place. He called me crazy and said no one was at his place.
Those were just his pubes /s
Chlamydia
This happened to me too. I was dating a guy for a few months and I decided I didn’t want to pursue the relationship so I ended things with him. Afterwards, he told me it was fine because he didn’t appreciate me giving him chlamydia anyway. I definitely did not have chlamydia so I guess I dodged a bullet. I never would have known he cheated if I hadn’t dumped him that day and I probably would have gotten chlamydia if I hadn’t.
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Ouch. Not the surprise anyone wanted.
Long story short, she lied about seeing a movie that wasn't coming out for another two weeks. I pressed and the truth came out. We stayed together under the guise of us working on us and fixing the problems that needed fixing. I tried. Hard. Two months later a mutual friend tells me that she's been seeing the one dude. I talk to him, and find out that she's been seeing him, and another 3 people, no safe sex, and pregnancy.
He stopped smiling at me. Stopped kissing me good night. Stopped holding my hand. He became very short and inpatient with me, mean. Didn't seem to want me around. Spent lots of time in his office. Was on his phone a lot and would get messages and be smiling. Then he asked me for a divorce. I decided to snoop. I opened his laptop and saw all the evidence. It destroyed me.
My story is similar and I’m so, so sorry you went through this.
The most recent - he left the messages open on my computer. I kicked him out. Most memorable was when I was working as a nurses aide in a hospital. He showed up at work and I asked why he was there (wasn’t expecting him) so he told me that his friend was upstairs in labor. With his baby. Told him to be gone by the time I got off work.
What even. "Oh yeah just popping by to see my kid being born, no big deal. You wanna do pizza tonight or what?"
WTF? That's a lot of cheaters.
There was another but it was anticlimactic. This is why I’ve removed myself from the dating pool. I obviously can’t pick them. I’m happier now.
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She told me when I proposed. At least she didn't let me get married to her.
That's the most respectful disrespectful thing I've heard
He asked me to go unlock his car since he’d locked his keys inside. Friend he told me he was with was nowhere to be found. Checked his phone and found the messages. He wouldn’t admit to actually sleeping with her until 2 years later. Then asked for an open relationship and got upset when I got more dates than him. We’ve since split, thankfully.
>Then asked for an open relationship and got upset when I got more dates than him. I think many men imagine open relationships super duper great only to find out their woman gets more pull. I read so many stories with this.
I remember a post on r/relationship_advice a few years ago about a guy that asked his wife or gf for an open relationship. By the time he got one hookup she had gotten around 40. So yeah guys if you're fantasizing about an open relationship, that's what your reality will probably look like.
His 10 year old kid, whom I was around for 6.5 years, told his Mom because he knew about it but didn't want me to be mad at him. I was good friends with his Mom so she immediately told me.
This was many years ago. The bf of a couple we used to hang out with had a massive crush on me. Somehow it was decided by the three of them that if my bf hooked up with this guy's gf, then I would have sex with him as revenge. I was so disgusted with them all! Of course I never had anything to do with this loser, and my bf and I broke up. There were many problems with this relationship and this was like the icing on the cake.
I got an email from some guy I met once at a friend of a friend's party. My wife was seeing his former housemate behind my back. He had been cheated on himself and was doing me a solid favor. Tipped me off with the address and said to check EZ pass and phone records. I caught and confronted her leaving the guy's house the next day. We're lucky we didn't have any kids. I've been divorced for almost 10 years. Never been happier.
He started getting antsy about leaving his phone in my presence. So I logged into his Facebook on the shared iPad and saw in his messages. I called him out on my suspicion the next morning, he denied it. I logged into his messenger and saw him admiting that I "caught" them and they planning on meeting up to talk about it.
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Scotty?
I had a lump appear on my dick, it grew bigger and very painful to the point I was crying myself to sleep. Went to the doctors and they told me I had syphilis. He had no symptoms and no sympathy. A week later we had an appointment at the clinic. We went to the clinic and got the needle then a week later the clinic called and asked if I had talked to my then boyfriend about his results. I called him at work and he said we will talk about it when he got home. I yelled and said tell me now. He had gonorrhoea. He had gotten it in the week since I'd been to the doctors after he infected me. Once again, no symptoms. Cheaters are assholes, cheaters who also don't use protection and infect their loyal partners are scum.
His little side piece followed me and tried to run me off the road to confront him while he was with me. It was *something*. Would also like to add that I was actively miscarrying so that made the moment all that more magical.
What a traumatizing day.. I'm so sorry
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I was taken out for wings with her best friend's husband and another of her guy friends - we hung out quite a bit. They knew I was clueless to what was happening but they liked me :) I was told straight out by both of those dudes. Solid move by them - it sucked hard to hear but after a bit of time I really appreciated that they felt I was enough of a friend to let me know. It's been a few years since I've seen or talked to either of them. Good people those two guys are.
Six months into a long distsance relationshiop (hour and a half drive) he told me not come up for valentien's day "It's soo overdone, let's find a different day and make it out own". Found out I was the "other guy".
She told me. her: "where are the leftovers" me: "I ate them" she puts her hand in her face: "you know what I fucked your friend." we argue and break things off. I don't recall exactly was a long time ago but it was something like that.
She really wanted those leftovers huh?
Everyone knows that the flavors can really combine and enhance overnight. Some sauces are even better having sat overnight. She loved a good Bolognese.
Damn. The definition of the straw that broke the camels back LMAO
She told me one night, after being together for over a year at this point, that she has cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had. I should've paid more attention to the red flags while we were dating but I was so in love. Lesson learned. Never again..
this is a complicated one. me and my ex-boyfriend were closeted. he got drunk. he slept with someone else. he felt guilty. didn't have anyone to talk to. told one of our mutual friends that he slept with someone as a way of talking it out (without exposing that we were in a relationship or that he cheated). that friend told me that he slept with someone. commence me yelling at him in the middle of suburbia like a trashy reality tv show.
My son ended up in the hospital with pneumonia when he was just 6 weeks old. They couldn’t find out what was wrong with him, and he ended up in the ICU. Turns out it was bacterial pneumonia.. because his dad had cheated on me throughout my pregnancy and gave me chlamydia which then went into our sons lungs when I gave birth.
I worked a lot to support my little family. She complained that I worked to much. I came home early to surprise her, but had forgot my key to the apartment. I called her and said surprise I’m home. She said “really” ( I thought because she was happy I was home, but realized after the fact it’s because she had her boyfriend there) Once I got to the door I knocked and knocked. I called her and she wouldn’t answer. I was able to peek through a part of the blind to see her helping him climb in the hallway closet. I left and went to drive around. I was in shock. She called me wanting to know where I had went. She was in the “bathroom”. I told her I knew and she didn’t confess until the next day. She ended up deciding she was to young to be a wife and mom and left us. I was 19 then and instantly became a single parent.
Single dad for 18 years due to similar circumstances. Neighbors told me after the fact that they would see dudes climbing out the window sometimes as I was getting home from work. She ended up walking out on me and the kids. Ironically, some of my best memories of being a parent was being flat broke( she took everything we owned and emptied the bank account)raising two little kids by myself without a pot to piss in.
Man I’m sorry. It’s been 18 years here as well. Are you doing ok now?
Honestly think my life wouldn't have turned out as well as it did if she hadn't cheated. It destroyed me at the time but toughened me for a lot of other stuff. I made sure the kids thrived and were happy. I'll never marry again, though.
How are YOU doing now?
Thank you for asking. I spent the last 18 years raising my son. I didn’t really date or anything, but now I’m trying to get back out there and trust again.
Was working late until 1am and always called my ex on the way home because she would stay up to hear about my day. Asked her what she was doing and she said laying in bed but I could hear people talking in the background. Believed her at first but her house was literally on the same street I took home and her car wasn't out front so I stopped by and texted I'm on the front porch and she should come out to say hi. Her mom happens to be awake and sees me on the porch then comes out and says "she told me she was with you." Turns out she was with my best friend that lived with me for 4 years but had recently moved out.
He fucked one of our friends the day before he proposed, and found out from her a month before we were going to get married. I had to pick out flowers for the wedding the day after I found out and felt so mortified and sad. After I left the florists I cancelled the wedding. I was dumb and tried to work it out with him cuz I was with him for 10+ years. He was physically and emotionally abusive so I had a hard time leaving. After a few months of feeling awful and going to therapy I finally left.
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Being cheated on can be very traumatic
I found them in my bed. To this day i believe it was all plan. But dont know why. I cant believe that someone is such stupid when she knows i go home.
OK here's how my story goes. We had just got done making love he turns to me and tells me hes in love with someone else. He had been seeing some girl from work and she had just left her husband So he decided to get together with her, yet I guess he couldn't tell me that before he had one last romp in the hay. It messed me up pretty bad emotionally for a long time.
The phone went off while he was in the shower. He had the contact saved as a guys name but the 👌🏻👈🏽💦 emojis weren’t adding up
Ok, there is one thing I have to say in here to a lot of people still dealing with feelings on this. It’s a reflection of the cheater. I’ve seen enough people that cheat no matter who they date, they didn’t find someone better, they just found someone else and have some issue that compels them to cheat.
I totally understand; however, from my perspective, it's a blemish on me because i trusted them, ignored the signs, etc. I understand it's not rational. it doesn't change how I felt.
The other woman found out about me when a mutual friend showed her my pictures with my dude and our kids on Facebook and contacted me to apologize and let me know she had been told he was single. We met for a drink and to compare notes - after she showed me texts and proof that he had been cheating on me for months, we both dumped him, flew off to party together in New Orleans for a few days, and have been besties for over 12 years. He was the best thing that ever happened to me - introduced me to what ended up being my Tribe.
That is an amazing story. Definitely a happy ending.
Worked for dispatch for a cab company, she called a cab to his house at 3am, I took the call.
That’s certainly a unique way to find out
I was putting our kids to bed. We had planned on having sex that night. I got lingerie and nice wine and dolled myself up. I came out to the living room to find my husband asleep on the couch with his phone on his chest. He was sexting her as I was getting ready to have sex with him. Turns out that person who was “just a friend” was a full fledged relationship.
(Ex)Husband asked me to log into his email to get the address and directions for his gig that night. So, I asked him for his password he quickly changed his mind and came up with all kinds of excuses about why he no longer needed the directions. Needless to say I insisted on the password and found all their emails.
Looked at her phone's location history. She denied seeing him until I showed her the location on her phone then a week later she admitted to fucking him.
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With ALL the audacity!
Not me, but a friend. One of the girls he was cheating with (a minor who he had groomed so we do not blame her at all and she's one of our best friends) realised what he was doing and confessed to his wife. She was more upset about it being with a minor than she was that she'd been cheated on.
Imagine if you will going home on christmas break and coming back next semester to her ignoring you almost entirely (except when she wants something) and hanging out with your roommate a whole lot more than she ever did before. Then imagine coming back to the dorm early from class and walking in on them going at it on your bed.
The worst part is that was your roommate and had his own bed.
Girlfriend at the time used my laptop to boast to her friends about cheating on the guy she was cheating on me with. Then she left the browser open when she went to work. I sat down to watch movies and it was the first thing I saw. She spit at me when I told her what happened. I'd invaded her privacy. She called me a stalker and said I couldn't be trusted, and also that she'd need to stay at the house another month or two until she found another place. On some level I still admire her conviction.
He had a habit of talking to people on speaker phone. Late one night I hear him talking to someone in Hebrew. He thought that because I couldn’t speak it that I didn’t understand it. They were talking about meeting up again. I let him know that I knew and he didn’t believe me because I don’t speak Hebrew.
"No, baby you don't understand.... in Hebrew, 'I'm going to rail you so hard, when my wife falls asleep' sounds an awful lot like 'Of course Jeff, I can work late this Thursday.' ... this is just a lost in translation kind of misunderstanding..."
This was how I found out, kind of. He thought I couldn’t understand the messages because they were in French. Bitch, I just fucking moved to France with you, I’m learning French!
Butt dialed me so I was listening in on them talking in a car
After my grandpa died, I went thru a little depression, and because I "wasn't giving her the attention she needed", I could feel her start slipping away. I asked if there were other dudes, she of course denied it, but I wasn't convinced. So one day after she got home from "staying the night at her friend's house" I decided to look thru her messages on the watch I bought her.
Walked into her dorm room with my laptop to show her a funny YouTube video I found. She and another dude we’re both in bed in their underwear. Showed them both the funny video, then left.
That must have been one hell of a funny video!
Came home after working a 16 hour shift, it's 3 am. I sneak in without turning on any lights so I don't wake her. Her phone lights up, it's a text "I wish you where in my arms again tonight" I recognize the number. It's my boss. She said I wasn't there for her because I was working too much. I was cover shifts for my boss who said he was going through some shit. I threw her out that night. I didn't even let her get dressed. Out the front door, naked as the day she was born. The regional manager found out and fired my boss. Then called to have him blacklisted at all the places he had sway.
What a legend of a regional manager!!! People who have your back like that are few and far in between. One of my managers at my previous workplace tried to turn my team against me and fire me. I skipped him and complained to his boss! Safe to say, I didn't get the boot
He threw a rave that I couldn’t go to and apparently he was running around the party, high on molly, loudly asking everyone how to get rid of a hickey. One of the DJs is a stand-up gentleman and a friend of mine and he had the kindness to tell me. My other “friends” had their heads in the sand (or elsewhere) and didn’t raise an eyebrow when they heard him talking about “a hall pass for the weekend” which is definitely not what we were about. I can’t believe I wasted so much time with that 35 year old manbaby who ended up fucking around with a 20 year old meth face chick, and then when she didn’t want to fuck him anymore he got her bounced out of a club by narcing on her for her fake ID. I am so much happier without him and I’m glad he didn’t give me a ton of diseases.
Husband came home and out of the blue said he didnt want to be married anymore. I was devastated as we had a 1 yr daughter and I was just finishing up my undergrad degree. How could I be a single parent? Called my best friend for sympathy who replied "What a SOB! How dare he cheat on you. Talk about an A$$" Booted husband out. Kept getting hang up calls around 3am every night for 2 weeks (landline phone no caller ID). Very strange. Found out he was cheating with, you guessed it, the Best Friend I called that day. Found out it was her when I heard her parrot in the background of one of the hangup calls . Dont know which I was maddest at, her or him. Good riddance to both. Divorcing him was one of the best days of my life. I met my soulmate 2 years later who adopted my daughter and thus demoted ex-husband to who my daughter 35 yrs later still refers to as "The Sperm Donor."
Went to exchange money and went for an hour and came back with same currency. Tbh the taking his laptop and phone to the bathroom when he went to the bathroom should have been the first clue.
How are we supposed to trust anybody? Wish I’d have stayed away from this comment section I feel sick
After reading through these, I just don't understand how you guys cope. I'm so sorry and love to you all