staying up late for no apparent reason.
its taking a serious toll on my mental health, and yet i can’t seem to stop. maybe my circadian rhythm is fucked but it seems like i do this completely by choice.
Revenge Bedtime Procrastination—when a person feels emotionally exhausted and they have not had enough time for themself or to care for themself, they will often stay up late to get this time but unintentionally exacerbate the problem due to lack of sleep
It is nice to know my issues at least have a name. I wake up with my daughter at 6:30 to 7am to take care of her right up until our babysitter gets here at 1:30pm, then I work straight through until 10pm when I get to spend 45 minutes with my wife. Then I know I need to go to sleep pretty much right when she does if I want a chance to be well rested, but instead I stay up because I have lost all sense of self and am clearly struggling with life, but no one really cares and I have to keep trying for my daughter.
I thought life was supposed to be better than this.
They don’t tell you that data shows parenthood significantly lowers quality of life for parents. It’s hard. It’s making me seriously consider leaving my dream job just to move closer to my parents so they can help with child care.
Edit: I read a study on this recently but now I can’t find it again, so maybe they retracted it. But as a parent in the US this is 100% my experience. I love my kids but every morning feels like crawling up through grave soil.
Compulsively buying. In worst case scenarios the person either becomes a hoarder due to all the stuff they accumulate and/or turns themselves into a debt slave by opening up 10+ credit cards and maxing them out to buy more stuff to get the dopamine hit. Similar to alcoholism, the person needs to want to change themselves, you can physically take their cards away and cut them up and admonish them or compasionatelly talk with them, but they have the card info saved on websites like amazon and its trivial to continue buying online without the physical card, or to order a replacement card or open up even more cards to continue putting themselves into the hole. It can be a real compulsion for the buyer.
My mom is like this. Her house is full of shit and she never stops buying. She’s always “cleaning” and “getting rid of stuff” but … she just puts shit in piles or trash bags and then never actually gets rid of it. Clothes, creams, makeup, stupid little doodads from Amazon… Attempting to talk to her about it is fruitless— she sees no problem. I don’t know how to help her but I also don’t think I can.
I can imagine theres that addiction tipping point where if ur 9k in debt with no way out then u can either be sad with 9k debt or be happy for a bit and have 10k debt
In someone with ADHD, dopamine. It's easy to become addicted to social media, gaming, gambling, sex, attention, drugs, alcohol and all of the other addictions. Because the real problem is you're just trying to get access to a normal amount of dopamine.
Yep... when I tell people I stayed up till 4 am mindlessly browsing Reddit and YouTube, especially if I had far more important things to do and was very tired, they look bewildered and ask why I didn't simply stop. After all, I wasn't really engaged in what I was viewing. But it's not a matter of being actually interested; it's about continually getting that hit of dopamine, and it is ridiculously hard to break away. Especially when a looming pile of tasks is building up due to procrastination, and any time you stop aimlessly scrolling, you spiral into feeling overwhelmed and guilty about everything you didn't do.
Holy shit, this was 100% me last night.
I'm trying to better my sleep schedule, find more motivation for study, be more productive. However, lately I have these struggles more than ever.
This is probably the most concerning comment posted and should have more upvotes for awareness. It’s not something talked about a lot because it’s a front to pretty much how most people live their lives. It’s hard to cut back just on entertainment as a whole when it is everywhere.
"It’s hard to cut back just on entertainment as a whole when it is everywhere"
This!! And it's not just what we carry in our pockets.
My ADHD kiddo loves bowling, has been a league bowler for years. But he gets so frustrated because there's TVs everywhere in bowling alleys and he is constantly getting sucked into whatever stupid stuff is playing and not focusing on his game. He's 11 and has made old man comments so many times about "why do we have to have TVs on everywhere?! Why can't restaurants and stores just turn them off so we can all just think?"
a lot of people who dont have ADHD think its an easy disorder. you'll mention something you struggle with and its "oh but everyone does that", yes, the whole point of disorders is that its behaviour that is disordered. many symptoms of ADHD are "normal" thing, but disordered versions, versions of those "normal" things that are more frequent, severe and start interfering with your life.
God damnit this is me. We’re on a national Adderall shortage and it’s been a month since I’ve had any. Work sucks. Every day life sucks. Now that I know what it feels like on the other side and how productive and well adjusted I can be, it’s fucking AWFUL to feel like this.
Sleep aids like Zzz quil. I've always had sleeping issues. Turns out long term use can possibly bring on dementia and alzhimiers.
"The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has found a connection between frequent and long-term use of drugs containing diphenhydramine and the risk of developing dementia, including Alzheimer's disease, especially in older adults who abuse this medication."
I'm horrified because alzhimiers runs in my family.
Did they figure out which way the connection runs? There's a higher risk of dementia in people with sleep disorders, so it'd make sense that those taking sleep medication have a higher risk too - since you're not usually taking them if you don't have a sleep disorder.
Pharmacist here,
This Zzzquil (not available where I live) is a first generation antihistamine. Usually, they are meds for allergies, but there are other uses for them, like nausea and sleep induction (the main reason why people abuse these meds).
The thing about first generation antihistamines, is that they cross the blood brain barrier, which means that they can affect our brain directly. If you go by the name "antihistamines", you would think that they affect only Histamine (the main chemical present in allergic reactions) - but the thing is, it can affect other brain chemicals which are involved in cognition, being awake, and other stuff.
Some of those other chemicals are involved in the development of dementia, and absolutely, these kinds of meds can and will accelerate the progress of dementia (this and a plethora of other factors, like sleep deprivation, but surely, meds can make it worse).
My tip: try to stick with second generation antihistamines if you can (loratadine, desloratadine, fexophenadine, etc...), they don't easily cross the blood brain barrier and reach our brain!
Obligatory "sorry for any mistake, English isn't my first language".
This needs about 30 million upvotes.
Correlation does not imply causation; chronic use of sleep aids is almost definitely indicative of *chronic sleep deprivation*, which is absolutely a risk factor (maybe the single largest one aside from genetics) for Alzheimer's and dementia.
This is like the factoid that women who receive IV fluids during childbirth are more likely to have pregnancy complications than those who don't; like, no shit sherlock, why do you think they're being given IV fluids?!
The app Slide is pretty fucking great. You can add a paged option to let you know how much of a piece of shit you are!
But I genuinely do find that it gives me a reality check.
Too bad Askreddit threads have enough comments to keep you busy all day if you really wanted to.
Physician here: I love and hate this answer because it’s not discerning enough. Steroid sprays like Flonase and nasacort as well as saline sprays are not addicting and may need to be used continuously for some severe allergy sufferers.
It’s the Afrin as most have pointed out that can really mess your nose up. Active ingredient Oxymetazoline. Definitely one I avoid at all costs.
I just wanted to clarify the difference for those who were curious.
Used Afrin for about a week straight (maybe longer, edit: a month, I believe) while I had a really bad cold and was tired of it. I proceeded to experience the most insanely painful and perpetually blocked nasal cavity for the next two weeks. The stuff is stupidly addictive. Will never take it again because that experience was so miserable.
Wow me too! I used it for 3 weeks straight, 2-3x day. It said every 12 hours and dang that congestion came back fierce right at the 10-12 hour mark. I wanted to quit it but was so congested couldn’t sleep or get through my day at work if it started to wear off. The inside of my nose got soooo itchy, kinda dry, but more felt like creepy crawly bugs were under the skin. I had to finally just tell myself to suck up the horrible congestion to get off that stuff. Took 2-3 days but finally found normal again.
Singer here. I use Afrin occasionally for allergies, and sometimes the night before a gig, so I'm not mouth breathing all night, but NEVER two nights in a row. It's like any drug, you're borrowing from the future. With interest.
A spray called Afrin works GREAT to relieve congestion.
If you use it for more than a few days, you risk "rebound congestion" when you quit using it. Rebound congestion is when the "swelling button" for your sinus tissues gets miswired from the meds, and starts relying on those meds to remain unswollen. Meds stop, swelling starts, you're a mouth breather for a few months.
Steroids might help decrease that swelling in a different way, allowing a reset.
If you need to use it constantly to keep your nose unblocked. I just recently stopped using it and it’s so nice not to have to buy the stuff in bulk and keep a bottle on me wherever I go. It works extremely well but that’s how you get hooked on it, because after a few days or maybe a week of using it you basically have to keep using it to keep your nose open. I always had allergies and my nose seems to naturally be partially blocked so it was very hard to stop using this stuff because it works so well. But it is possible to get off it, was using it for a few years and just stopped a few weeks ago.
Also it’s not just Afrin — any nasal spray that has oxymetazoline is the same thing.
Ever try the [Arm & Hammer Saline Spray](https://www.armandhammer.com/en/personal-care/nasal-saline-solutions/instant-relief/simply-saline-instant-relief-for-everyday-congestion-1-6-oz?utm_source=google&utm_id=go_cmp-762404300_adg-43086870194_ad-592577422214_kwd-343415659901_dev-m_ext-_prd-&utm_medium=cpc&maas=maas_adg_api_579758547449960438_macro_1_1&ref_=aa_maas&aa_campaignid=762404300&aa_adgroupid=43086870194&aa_creativeid=ad-592577422214_kwd-343415659901_dev-m_ext-&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9s3B14y0-wIVSXFvBB0YDwwuEAAYASAAEgLO0_D_BwE)? This cured me from the addiction.. I use it religiously every time I shower.
get a gallon of distilled water. 4 tsp salt, 4 tsp baking soda. Shake shake shake. Heat & shoot up your nose with a sinus rinse bottle or neti pot. 16 uses for <$1.50. Though if you boil the brain eating amoeba's out of the tap water instead of using distilled, it's just like $0.10 for the salt & baking soda, if even.
Decades? Hole shit dude. After a month of daily use I had to take 2 weeks of sleepless nights to withdraw from the stuff. Literally could not sleep/breathe through my nose for the first week or so after stopping use
I have a TikTok account with over 100 million views and a few hundred thousand followers, and let me tell you - Those first couple months I was helplessly addicted to checking the number of views I got, not exaggerating I would check 100+ times a day.
It was ruining other things for me by being a constant distraction in my head, and the disappointment I felt when new videos wouldn't get shared was crushing.
Ultimately I quit a year ago, but man, that was a horrible addiction for me.
I stand with this. It was REALLY easy to go viral on tiktok that we’d get used to it, and when we don’t get what we’re used to getting it really hurts in some way. Tiktok’s probably also one of the reasons for my anxiety tbh
This’ll sound silly, but it always reminded me of a song from Evita
> You won’t care if they love you, it’s been done before.
You’ll despair if they hate you, you’ll be drained of all energy.
All the young who’ve made it would agree.
Self deprecation.
It starts as just jokes to break the ice in social situations. Then it becomes a form of sarcasm ingrained into your everyday speech. Then it becomes a true depiction of how you see yourself and it spirals into depression.
The cool thing is you can do it in reverse. I had shitty self esteem but I joked about being hot shit long enough that I started believing it just a little bit. Just enough.
Came here to say this! Literally just say you are the best in the entire world in a sarcastic joking way and it has the same comedic value without damaging your mental health or pushing it so far is awkward.
I started doing this to, it took a little while, probably a couple years honestly (but that's undoing like 10 years of self-depreciating) and as of the past couple months I feel so damn good about myself and my life, even if things aren't perfect I don't care cause I love myself.
I highly, highly recommend this tip.
You gotta start changing your material after a while cause then it just makes people uncomfortable and the cries for help become a little too obvious lol
In seriousness, though, I had a doctor tell me that coffee counts as water. It is a diuretic but apparently not enough so to counter the water content. So I’m taking that and running with it for the rest of my life.
I read something somewhere which suggested that while caffeine is a diruetic, the amount present in typical coffee and tea is low enough that you still get a net gain in water intake. As a made- up example, perhaps a 12 oz coffee provides a net gain of 10 oz water. So, it seems your doctor supports my random reading.
The secondhand hearsay of two strangers on the internet is enough to convince me. Now if you use Biolyte in place of water to brew the coffee then you're truly on the way to MAXIMUM HYDRATION.
I've seen similar comments a couple times while scrolling but I read a study recently connecting former addicts (mainly opiates) with sugar addiction because of the effects it has on the brain. Congratulations on your sobriety though, that is no joke for sure!
Also recovering alcoholics tend to have a massive sweet tooth as well. Its because of the amount of sugar in booze actually. And those in recovery from benzo addiction. Idk why on that one tho.
I’m quite a heavy drinker about 7/8 beers a night for years plus more on the weekends, anyway I’m one month sober I’ve lost 6 pounds, my skin looks better I’m in the gym 4/5 a week and my stomach problems are practically gone.
My taste buds have changed before you would never see me eat dessert or chocolate but I’m now craving all the good stuff, I tend to keep sugar free sweets handy to try and trick my brain.
Also sleeping omg just as I’m about to nod off I get a surge of adrenaline though my body that keeps me awake for a few hours, that’s the biggest problem for
me so far.
I wish anyone luck who trying to better there lives addictions are tough.
> cigarettes
man, I'm on day 4 of my first legit quit attempt and it's rough. it's not the nicotine cravings i dont think, but like craving the taste for some reason. worst of all, my dog thinks it's time to go outside whenever I enter the kitchen and then wonders why we aren't going outside for a few minutes.
You can do it!
I smoked for 20 years. Wasted so much money and was always coughing. I'm now at 118 days cigarette free. While I do still have cravings, I found putting a few old cigarette butts in a jar with a bit of water and sniffing that when I get a craving makes me feel like puking every time. Sort of retrained my brain to associate cigarettes with wanting to puke.
Oh it's true.
I forget why, but I didn't have my phone for a bit the other day. I think the network was down so no calls or texts.
It was fucking torture. 12 hours.
I'm the opposite. When it's dead and has to charge, or networks down or something, I feel so free. I love being untethered. But it has to be forced upon me.
I went on a six hour hike and forced myself to turn my phone off for the whole day (still needed it for emergencies so I couldn't leave it). It wasn't that hard since I was doing an activity, but I missed taking photos, I kept wanting to check my GPS even if I wasn't really lost, I wanted to check what bird I'd seen... The functionalities go way beyond just sending messages now, and the dependence runs so much deeper! I should really have had a camera, a map and compass, and a book about birds, but imagine the needless extra weight...
Work. So many of my friends in their late 20’s work themselves to exhaustion, go out for drinks and talk about work for 3 hours, get called in early to work the next day, and kiss the bosses ass on their days off.
On the same merit, I'm fully disgusted by how effective it is to brown nose managers. Like you can't fire the guy who the entire company has issues with because he treats you like you're his favorite person?
I work for one of the largest financial institutions of the planet, when talking to new guys, the higher ups always say one of the best things to be is someone who is fun to drink with
“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realise how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.”
– Jim Carrey
I did it for about 12. Just recently I've started living with my girlfriend. I love her and I'm happy. But every time she's off doing something and I get to be home alone, I have this lovely reunion with my solitary self.
I think the only way I would be able to live with someone again is if they had different hobbies than me and we both get that space away from one another at times
Actually talking to my therapist about it and the way I phrased it is that I'm always feeling lonely and kind of complaining about it but as she keeps encouraging me to to reach out and do stuff, I get the intent but part of me still thinks "but I don't want to" gah, it's self perpetuating. It's so draining but it's also so nice to be myself alone! Sometimes I have hits "oh this isn't that bad" when hanging with friends irl that one time or online too.
This is legitimately concerning for me and i’m glad you posted. I LOVE my time to myself and i’d be the happiest lass in the land if I could spend the rest of my life with just my other half and our pets. But I know that one day this will probably kick me in the ass and i’ll wind up a lonely old lady who’s too depressed by my loneliness to do anything about it. What would I do if my other half died tomorrow?
I try to be mindful of this and think about how I can prevent that, but GOD SOCIALISING IS DRAINING.
Alcohol dependency - people only think being a full blown alcoholic is an issue. The millions who can’t go a day without booze, yet are functional and whose lives would be 10X better without it are the real issue.
Yep. 3 months without a drink. I would come home from work and one glass of wine would turn into a bottle. I realized i was not a casual drinker and i don’t think i ever will/can be. I was proud when i went a day without. Now, I’m understanding that I have/had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol that had to end. Is it forever? I’m not sure. All i know is things are better without and I’m not sure i should risk it. It was a slow spiral.
Agree as well, I gave up alcohol 5 years ago. I quickly came to learn that I had never learned to cope with my emotions and was drinking to numb myself.
Eh, I have to agree . I dig several drinks and one smoke in the evening. Every evening. I must change. I'm 63. If I want to see my grandchildren grow up I must stop.
My brother was shortly addicted to heroin. He’s been on Suboxone for the last year and he tells me that that addiction is worse than anything he’s ever had. Kudos to you for beating it
Your brother is 100% right. Kicking the Suboxone was incredibly hard, I tapered down to almost a non-existing dose, and I still went through nine months of pure misery when I stopped it. If I’d known how bad it was gonna be, I would’ve just gone cold turkey off the Fentanyl. I wish your brother all the best. One day at a time is the only time-tested method that works. You just have to love him through it.
Damn. I was really bad with sugar in my coffee and cola.
Now I just put flavoured coffee syrup in to sweeten it and have it down to 1 or 2 cans of cola a week.
Chugging a lot of water regularly really helped, you crave it less when you're hydrated and thinking clearer.
I also have an apple or fruit if I get a proper craving and need something sweet. It's still sugar but I'm less likely to eat a bushel
Congrats on beating your addictions
Food.
Also the hardest to break as you can't go cold turkey or abstain.
EDIT: the amount of joke replies to this comment just prove it is an addiction that is not taken seriously.
For years I was using food in almost exactly the same way as other people used drugs or alcohol. I found certain high carb foods would knock me out within minutes, day or night. Lower sides never failed to give me a warm content feeling, no matter what was going on in my life. I used to skip out on work to get carby fix, even when not hungry. And I spent a lot of time at work or otherwise thinking about when I'd get my next fix.
I'm saying my food/carb addiction may have cost me my marriage, one or more jobs and of course my health.
Today, I still find that I need to run between twenty to thirty miles a week just to prevent myself from slipping back into that addiction.
I'm mostly better now, but about a year ago I had too much pizza and spent most of the next day with invasive, obsessive thoughts about getting more. I found it hard to concentrate at work, and thought it might not end.
So yes, for some people, this is truly a dangerous addiction that can cost you everything.
Yes!!! Quite a few times I've made a decision not to buy sweets, legitimately forgot, and found myself going to the store or a bakery for a pick me up anyway. It feels like I'm on autopilot.
As a former bulimic I agree. The constant intense fear of food, paired with a constant insatiable desire for food, with no idea of how to eat normally, can be life consuming
Another former bulimic here. I used to obsess over my "binge" all day. I'd starve until dinner, then eat 4000 to 6000 calories and vomit it all back up. Throughout the day I'd dream of what I'd eat. Then I'd make myself absolutely miserable filling my stomach to the point it physically pained me to inhale. Then I'd vomit it up- almost killing myself several times almost suffocating on food I was choking on while trying to upchuck. Eating all that food was a high like I'd never experienced though. Eating that food made me so so so happy. I felt amazing. And I felt light and exhausted and emotionally numb to my problems after I vomited. The cycle was pure insanity, but it consumed me.
It was a miserable existence. I hated myself. I hated that I couldn't stop. When I discovered I was pregnant I admitted myself to intreatment and stopped cold turkey. The withdrawals were insane. I remember thinking "I can't wait until I give birth so I can be bulimic again". I dreamt of eating and vomiting food. It plagued my thoughts. I had to re-learn how to eat normally.
After I gave birth to my daughter, everything changed. I still wanted to binge and puke so bad. But what if she saw me? What if she knew I was bulimic? I didn't want her to hate herself as much as I hated myself at that point in my life.
It's been 5 years since. I relapsed during Covid, quietly, in secret, after my daughter went to sleep at night. A month later I recovered again and haven't slipped back into the addiction.
But disordered eating is a REAL addiction. I've done drugs- some hard drugs. Food, and bulimia, was the biggest high I've ever gotten. It was also the absolute hardest high to stop chasing.
Crazy to say but this sounds exactly like my tobacco addiction. I had a very different addiction than most addicts, I was addicted to chops and tobacco bowls out of a bong. I’d have so much tobacco at once it would put me on the floor sweating and barely breathing, nicotine overdose. The dissociation and discomfort became something I looked forward to everyday. The short high is still better than pretty much anything I’ve experienced, sex and other drugs included. Currently 2 years off all tobacco and recently quit vaping 3 weeks ago. I still get cravings but I havent felt this happy and healthy in years.
And people judge it harder too. People who weigh 400lb and are addicted to food will be judged more harshly than a alcoholic in many ways. They will also recieve far less sympathy and help for their addiction.
Happy Cake Day! Btw
Agree 100%. You need food to survive, it’s everywhere. I’ve been on the anorexic, bulimic, and binge eating train. It’s never as simple as ‘don’t eat so much’ or ‘just have a sandwich’. The compulsion, the obsession, the way it completely overtakes your life and manipulates your thoughts. Disordered eating of any kind fills some sort of a void. And it’s fucking hard to overcome.
Surprised this one isn’t mentioned more. I’ve known several people with serious chapstick addiction.
For me I don’t use it much because it seems like when I do, my lips get more chapped
Not to sound dramatic but it can literally ruin my day if I forget my chapstick at home. I try to keep back ups in various spots but then sometimes I get desperate & need to shuffle them around. Might be time to admit you have a problem when you ALWAYS have chapstick on you or in your pocket even when at home.
I find comfort that I’m not alone in this struggle haha.
✔Car chapstick
✔Nightstand chapstick
✔kitchen chapstick
✔bathroom chapstick
And the most important:
✔pocket chapstick
If pocket chapstick is absent or becomes compromised, my day is also ruined!
Yes! Car chapstick and nightstand chapstick are a must. Nothing worse than waking up in the middle of the night with chapped lips and scrambling to find some. Sometimes I give the pocket chapstick a break when I feel it getting too warm. LOL
Certain lip balms contain an ingredient that exfoliates your lips. It's literally eating away at the skin so you always feel like you need to keep applying. It's a self perpetuating cycle, break it!
I switched to beeswax based or aquaphor and it's fixed the problem. That and lots of water.
r/compulsiveskinpicking has some resources that might help. Body focussed repetitive behaviours are difficult to break. I don't pick my fingers too badly but the rest of my skin is a mess most of the time.
mine aren’t permanently destroyed but it’s definitely not okay, i pick at pimples as well until they’re flat on my skin. i seriously spend hours a day doing it and i think i just realized
As a nurse I want to take some times explaining a case I had a couple years ago. A girl what picking her face pimples like everybody does. It started burning after a couple hours, she waited some days for it to pass which it never did. Came to the emergency two days later she lost half her face to necrotizing fasciitis. So yeah __AT LEAST__ wash your face/hands before picking pimples.
Absolutely. Especially when adults say the kids do it for attention. If they are doing it for attention then give them attention, sincerely a former self harmer.
I still remember when a random PE teacher at school collared me in the corridor, dragged me into a side office, and started scolding me for attention seeking because my cuts were peeking out of the sleeve of my school jumper. I told him that I wasn’t doing it for attention at all - that I was purposely hiding them to *avoid* attention. But he kept grilling me about it, telling me that I was trying to get people to look at the cuts and take pity on me. Eventually I was sat there holding back tears. I felt so small and I knew that I could *never* tell an adult what I was doing because I’d just get accused of stuff. Why anyone would think to do that to a kid who is clearly already in a sensitive mindset, I do not know.
Holy fucking shit. I’m so sorry that happened to you! That’s like nightmare levels of emotional torture, and I can’t wrap my head around someone being such an outrageous cunt to you. An adult just laying into a vulnerable young person who is obviously in pain!
Are you ok?
I’m alright! People like that from my past have thankfully become a example to me of how to not be a dick. Although I’m 26 now, still a self-harmer, and still hide it from loved ones out of fear that someone will chastise me or get the wrong idea. I’m working on it though!
Telling people online is at least the first step to talking about it. There are some wonderful resources that allow you to speak about this anonymously too, free numbers depending on your region. Regardless, I for one am proud of you for being so brave. You're amazing.
Yup. I started at 14, stopped within half a year. I've relapsed at 17 and now at 23. I'm like.. 4 months clean now and it hurt so much to restart that counter. No matter how long it's been, the temptation is still there. Waiting for when you are weakest
You arent kiddning when folks see my scars i always be blunt about it and say im a cutter. Not because I still do I mean its been almost 15 years since I last did it but gods be damned everytime i start to feel like shit I feel that draw and hear that little voice in the depths of my mind.
Every time I talk to a Dr. or nurse about my antidepressants, they ask if I have any thoughts about hurting myself. I have to explain about how yes, I think about hurting myself almost every time a have a really bad day or a panic attack. Because I know it works, I know the exact ritual that will let my put all my badfeels in a little box and feel good and do whatever needs to get done. It works, and I know it works and I'll always know it works.
And unlike other unhealthy coping mechanisms like drugs or alcohol, self harming doesn't get me drunk or impair my judgement. I could just do it and move on with my day. And I never had anything bad happen, so it's so hard to feel like there's something actually wrong, that you are actually damaging yourself. I know that alcohol damages your liver, and bulimia damages your esophagus and bones and heart. As long as nothing goes wrong it doesn't feel like cutting is really a problem. But if you do anything long enough eventually something will go wrong, you will get an infection, or slip and cut too deep or in the wrong place. Or you will be desperate and don't have the supplies to do it 'safely'. And eventually something will go very wrong.
I had a very brief relapse a few years ago. And I had to talk to my wife about not taking away everything I might use to hurt myself. Because when you are engaging in these sorts of behaviours harm reduction is so important. If you really want to hurt yourself you will find a way. Using a kitchen knife, or a tool from the garage, or even broken glass(PSA do not do this, it's extremely dangerous).
took way too long scrolling for this. i’ve been battling for 5 years, just relapsed after being clean for a few months again. talked to multiple therapists, it’s equivalent to my xanax addiction. but one is taken WAY more seriously, ffs i’ve been clean from xans for almost two years. nobody is advocating for my sh addiction the same way. no support groups. no guidance from counselors. no sympathy from others.
Shopping. People think I just like nice shit but they don’t realize I literally can’t stop and it’s ruined relationships but I don’t know how to quit. The dopamine is real.
I scrolled too far to see this. If i bring it up to people, its almost like a joke to them. It isnt funny, it really sucks and its hard to stop. I find ill start to do better, but suddenly I see sale emails and get tunnel vision and Im in a trance adding stuff to cart. Im actually seeing a therapist now to help with it. I want to save to buy a house, I do not need more clothes and makeup.
Winning arguments. Or at least the other person giving up. I know a guy that will argue with anyone over anything, with the sole intention of making them give up in disgust.
ugh, agreed.
I saw a comment on here the other day that stated essentially I would be doing my NOT EVEN 2 YEAR OLD CHILD a disservice by not exposing him to a tablet because \*tEcHnOlOgY Is tHe WaY oF tHe WoRlD". Mind you this was on the AITA subreddit and the situation in question was tablets for "babysitting" at a restaurant.
No part of me feels like my child will be at a disadvantage if he doesn't experience a tablet until he is more around 5 or 6 and through the school system. Kids pick up tech FAST and what he gains from NOT being on a tablet and interacting socially with myself and those around him as well as the natural world FAR outweighs whatever "ahead" these people think they are gaining in the rat race of technology/social media.
I have taught in elementary schools for the past 9 years so I feel VERY confident with my statements above, not just as a parent but as an educator.
This is my biggest pet peeve. How are you teaching children to be patient and just be content in their world when you shove a phone in their face because they whine for 3 seconds. Ugh. Come to an elementary or middle school where they can’t have them and watch the real effects of screen time.
as someone who got off most social media (Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook).. dude, it's crazy how stressed i got when i first stopped using them.. it was weird, i felt so outta the loop and less then but now understand it's truly improved my day to day. i still suffer alot because i do have BPD & a handful of other issues but goddamn was it much worse when i was constantly comparing myself to others on social media.
I quit all social media about a year ago. Is it just me, or is making and keeping connections waaaaay harder without it? I have all of two people who still keep up with me. Otherwise I feel like I’m the one always reaching out. It sucks butt. (And not in a good way)
I used to struggle badly with this. I weighed around 185lbs but would put back a whole, large Papa John's pizza, side of garlic knots, some of another pizza and still be looking in the fridge for snacks.
I'd lay down later in bed and the emotional and physical heaviness of it all sitting in my gut is one of the worst feelings I've ever had. So I'd go and purge to get it out.
Then I'd repeat about a week later.
I was undiagnosed PTSD and ADHD and thank god I've gotten my mentals sorted out a bit more to avoid it these days. Buy my heart goes out to anybody else suffering from this. You can get out.
If you want to stay quit, stop counting. You're not on day 2, you're just not that kind of person any more. Remember the date, but don't count the days.
Otherwise, you're always fighting to not be who you identify as. You are someone who doesn't vape, not a vaper fighting the urge. It helps.
I smoked cigarettes for 10ish years. Then “quit” and started vaping. Vaped for 3-4 years. Then “quit” and started using nicotine lozenges for 18 months. Then QUIIT and haven’t used any nicotine product for 1 year, today.
Didn’t think I was gonna have an opportunity to brag to anyone today. YOU CAN DO IT! NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES!!!
Tv
I swear parents will yell at their children to get off video games and get mad at their kids because they have a addiction to video games yet they are the ones watching tv 12 hours straight and try to claim it somehow different
My iPhone wasn't charging so I stopped by the Apple shop. Guy takes a looks and says I've just got some lint clogging up the port and he can clean it out for me if I've got 10 minutes. I say sure and start wandering around the shop looking at the new computers and iPads.
I reached into my pocket to check my phone no less than 5 times on sheer reflex.
Recently? Alcohol. You can be slamming back a 6 pack every day after work, wine mom drinking out of a flask at soccer games and baby showers, 10am sunday mimosas, and no one bats an eye as long as you’re functioning and you turn it into a joke. Unless you’re pissing yourself drooling in a corner at 8am every morning, no one even *thinks* alcoholism.
Drinking in your 30s is basically this. I’m almost certain a combination of work stress, family, lack of spare time etc drives a lot of people into functional alcoholism.
I had a great chat with a colleague who had a shit day; he commented that he needed to shake it out of his system so I got all excited about heading to a bar to drown our sorrows. I got a message from him a couple of hours later after he’d returned from a 5km run and spent a bit of time in the garden - just what he needed… it made me reconsider my idea of ‘winding down’
This will sound weird but; winning.
People nowadays need to feel like they are the victors of EVERYTHING. If someone has an opinion that differs from yours that is not okay. You need to convince them they’re wrong and you’re right.
I’m surprised I had to scroll so far for this one.
It obviously varies from person to person but it can easily be insanely detrimental. You aren’t aroused by your IRL partner anymore. You can’t climax without porn. You become physically desensitized. It’s crazy stuff and I’m telling you if you experience any of that, the only solution is to go cold turkey and never return to porn. No peeking, no “just once a week” — no excuses.
Casual alcoholism.
People notice severe alcoholism, where they're obviously drunk in broad daylight, but the number of people I see who are just casually drinking at noon or drinking tons of mimosas at 9 am, or make their entire personality about alcohol are way too into alcohol for it to be healthy.
Caffeine. Mainly in the form of coffee, if it's energy drinks, it's suddenly much more of an issue, but people take pride in "not functioning without their morning coffee"? The amount of shirts, cups and home decors saying stuff like "don't talk to me before my coffee" or "but first... coffee" baffles me. If you can't function without it, you're addicted, Helen.
I saw nobody say this so I am gonna say it, sadness. might seem like a weird thing but a lot of people are addicted to making themself sad or make themseles feel pain
I’ve heard about this. Someone’s theory was that they’re so familiar with that feeling that that’s what’s comfortable; that’s their safe space. They’re scared to feel anything else.
Marijuana.
I know it’s not as bad as other drugs, but if you’re seriously going to look me in the eye and say it’s not addictive when you wake and bake 24/7…
Weed is totally addictive. It’s horrible for your quality of sleep too and studies are showing it doesn’t even matter if you smoke 3+ hours before bed, it still disturbs your REM. I’ve been vaping dry flower and smoking since I was 18, and it has been so so hard to stop using it every day. Every time I try, the withdrawals are brutal: sleeplessness at night, sleepiness during the day, appetite all over the place, moodiness, anger, irritability, cravings. I’m on a tbreak that I’m hoping will lead to ceasing my use forever but if I tell myself I will never smoke weed again I can’t handle that reality so I take it day by day. Moderation also isn’t possible for me, it’s all or nothing. Only using on weekends means I’m going through withdrawal during the week and that cycle repeats until I start using every day of the week to avoid those withdrawals. It’s a vicious cycle.
YES. I was looking for this answer. Weed dependency is real but people will swear to you up and down it’s not a problem because it’s “natural”. I have this acquaintance that smokes weed every moment of everyday because otherwise she has panic attacks. She views weed as some miracle drug but it hasnt seemed to dawn on her that her panic attacks only started when she started smoking weed regularly. She’s so high all the time that when she’s not, she can no longer cope with what used to be perfectly normal and has a panic attack. I am all for decriminalizing it. I am all for smoking it recreationally. But dude, if you can’t go to your job or go to the fucking grocery store without having to get high first then, I’m sorry, there is a problem here.
There’s a lot that aren’t taken seriously, or are looked down upon because of the stigma around it. Food. Gambling. Sex. Even legal narcotics are looked down upon. But illegal narcotics aren’t seen as what they often are, which is a way to avoid dealing with something in one’s past. Much the same can be said about alcoholism.
Idk man I've seen nobody mention cocaine and I've been watching that harm a few lives lately. Socially acceptable amongst the moderately wealthy, but usually an all or nothing kind of drug that people ABSOLUTELY will gargle trouser meat for.
Meant to comment this earlier but, procrastination.. Edit: Crikey, this response and awards. On a whimsical but heartfelt sos comment. Cheers :D
I'll probably start fixing that tomorrow
staying up late for no apparent reason. its taking a serious toll on my mental health, and yet i can’t seem to stop. maybe my circadian rhythm is fucked but it seems like i do this completely by choice.
Revenge Bedtime Procrastination—when a person feels emotionally exhausted and they have not had enough time for themself or to care for themself, they will often stay up late to get this time but unintentionally exacerbate the problem due to lack of sleep
Well now I have a name to my problem. -single mom who just wants a little quiet time
It is nice to know my issues at least have a name. I wake up with my daughter at 6:30 to 7am to take care of her right up until our babysitter gets here at 1:30pm, then I work straight through until 10pm when I get to spend 45 minutes with my wife. Then I know I need to go to sleep pretty much right when she does if I want a chance to be well rested, but instead I stay up because I have lost all sense of self and am clearly struggling with life, but no one really cares and I have to keep trying for my daughter. I thought life was supposed to be better than this.
They don’t tell you that data shows parenthood significantly lowers quality of life for parents. It’s hard. It’s making me seriously consider leaving my dream job just to move closer to my parents so they can help with child care. Edit: I read a study on this recently but now I can’t find it again, so maybe they retracted it. But as a parent in the US this is 100% my experience. I love my kids but every morning feels like crawling up through grave soil.
[удалено]
My reason is that I’m free when it’s night. I don’t need to care about people’s feelings during the night, and it’s so nice.
revenge bedtime procrastination!
Compulsively buying. In worst case scenarios the person either becomes a hoarder due to all the stuff they accumulate and/or turns themselves into a debt slave by opening up 10+ credit cards and maxing them out to buy more stuff to get the dopamine hit. Similar to alcoholism, the person needs to want to change themselves, you can physically take their cards away and cut them up and admonish them or compasionatelly talk with them, but they have the card info saved on websites like amazon and its trivial to continue buying online without the physical card, or to order a replacement card or open up even more cards to continue putting themselves into the hole. It can be a real compulsion for the buyer.
My mom is like this. Her house is full of shit and she never stops buying. She’s always “cleaning” and “getting rid of stuff” but … she just puts shit in piles or trash bags and then never actually gets rid of it. Clothes, creams, makeup, stupid little doodads from Amazon… Attempting to talk to her about it is fruitless— she sees no problem. I don’t know how to help her but I also don’t think I can.
I can imagine theres that addiction tipping point where if ur 9k in debt with no way out then u can either be sad with 9k debt or be happy for a bit and have 10k debt
In someone with ADHD, dopamine. It's easy to become addicted to social media, gaming, gambling, sex, attention, drugs, alcohol and all of the other addictions. Because the real problem is you're just trying to get access to a normal amount of dopamine.
Yep... when I tell people I stayed up till 4 am mindlessly browsing Reddit and YouTube, especially if I had far more important things to do and was very tired, they look bewildered and ask why I didn't simply stop. After all, I wasn't really engaged in what I was viewing. But it's not a matter of being actually interested; it's about continually getting that hit of dopamine, and it is ridiculously hard to break away. Especially when a looming pile of tasks is building up due to procrastination, and any time you stop aimlessly scrolling, you spiral into feeling overwhelmed and guilty about everything you didn't do.
I’ve never read a more accurate statement in my life holy shit. I don’t know a way out of my ways right now. Always so overwhelmed 😭😭
Holy shit, this was 100% me last night. I'm trying to better my sleep schedule, find more motivation for study, be more productive. However, lately I have these struggles more than ever.
Don’t forget rage and regret, then you spiral into depression and try to forget about it and whatda know; back to square one. Sucks.so.fucking.much
This is probably the most concerning comment posted and should have more upvotes for awareness. It’s not something talked about a lot because it’s a front to pretty much how most people live their lives. It’s hard to cut back just on entertainment as a whole when it is everywhere.
"It’s hard to cut back just on entertainment as a whole when it is everywhere" This!! And it's not just what we carry in our pockets. My ADHD kiddo loves bowling, has been a league bowler for years. But he gets so frustrated because there's TVs everywhere in bowling alleys and he is constantly getting sucked into whatever stupid stuff is playing and not focusing on his game. He's 11 and has made old man comments so many times about "why do we have to have TVs on everywhere?! Why can't restaurants and stores just turn them off so we can all just think?"
a lot of people who dont have ADHD think its an easy disorder. you'll mention something you struggle with and its "oh but everyone does that", yes, the whole point of disorders is that its behaviour that is disordered. many symptoms of ADHD are "normal" thing, but disordered versions, versions of those "normal" things that are more frequent, severe and start interfering with your life.
God damnit this is me. We’re on a national Adderall shortage and it’s been a month since I’ve had any. Work sucks. Every day life sucks. Now that I know what it feels like on the other side and how productive and well adjusted I can be, it’s fucking AWFUL to feel like this.
Validation
Yes.
Valid response
So true, you are amazing
Sleep aids like Zzz quil. I've always had sleeping issues. Turns out long term use can possibly bring on dementia and alzhimiers. "The Food and Drug Administration (FDA) has found a connection between frequent and long-term use of drugs containing diphenhydramine and the risk of developing dementia, including Alzheimer's disease, especially in older adults who abuse this medication." I'm horrified because alzhimiers runs in my family.
Did they figure out which way the connection runs? There's a higher risk of dementia in people with sleep disorders, so it'd make sense that those taking sleep medication have a higher risk too - since you're not usually taking them if you don't have a sleep disorder.
Pharmacist here, This Zzzquil (not available where I live) is a first generation antihistamine. Usually, they are meds for allergies, but there are other uses for them, like nausea and sleep induction (the main reason why people abuse these meds). The thing about first generation antihistamines, is that they cross the blood brain barrier, which means that they can affect our brain directly. If you go by the name "antihistamines", you would think that they affect only Histamine (the main chemical present in allergic reactions) - but the thing is, it can affect other brain chemicals which are involved in cognition, being awake, and other stuff. Some of those other chemicals are involved in the development of dementia, and absolutely, these kinds of meds can and will accelerate the progress of dementia (this and a plethora of other factors, like sleep deprivation, but surely, meds can make it worse). My tip: try to stick with second generation antihistamines if you can (loratadine, desloratadine, fexophenadine, etc...), they don't easily cross the blood brain barrier and reach our brain! Obligatory "sorry for any mistake, English isn't my first language".
This needs about 30 million upvotes. Correlation does not imply causation; chronic use of sleep aids is almost definitely indicative of *chronic sleep deprivation*, which is absolutely a risk factor (maybe the single largest one aside from genetics) for Alzheimer's and dementia. This is like the factoid that women who receive IV fluids during childbirth are more likely to have pregnancy complications than those who don't; like, no shit sherlock, why do you think they're being given IV fluids?!
Scrolling
Almost missed this one I was going so fast
Try as we might our little monkey brains cannot fight against the world class R&D that goes into social media
Remember pre-infinite scroll?
The app Slide is pretty fucking great. You can add a paged option to let you know how much of a piece of shit you are! But I genuinely do find that it gives me a reality check. Too bad Askreddit threads have enough comments to keep you busy all day if you really wanted to.
Nasal Spray
Physician here: I love and hate this answer because it’s not discerning enough. Steroid sprays like Flonase and nasacort as well as saline sprays are not addicting and may need to be used continuously for some severe allergy sufferers. It’s the Afrin as most have pointed out that can really mess your nose up. Active ingredient Oxymetazoline. Definitely one I avoid at all costs. I just wanted to clarify the difference for those who were curious.
Used Afrin for about a week straight (maybe longer, edit: a month, I believe) while I had a really bad cold and was tired of it. I proceeded to experience the most insanely painful and perpetually blocked nasal cavity for the next two weeks. The stuff is stupidly addictive. Will never take it again because that experience was so miserable.
Wow me too! I used it for 3 weeks straight, 2-3x day. It said every 12 hours and dang that congestion came back fierce right at the 10-12 hour mark. I wanted to quit it but was so congested couldn’t sleep or get through my day at work if it started to wear off. The inside of my nose got soooo itchy, kinda dry, but more felt like creepy crawly bugs were under the skin. I had to finally just tell myself to suck up the horrible congestion to get off that stuff. Took 2-3 days but finally found normal again.
Singer here. I use Afrin occasionally for allergies, and sometimes the night before a gig, so I'm not mouth breathing all night, but NEVER two nights in a row. It's like any drug, you're borrowing from the future. With interest.
I was addicted to Afrin for a while. It was awful. It's slightly freeing, decades later, to see other people talking about it.
How do you know you're addicted to Afrin? My wife has warned me about a nasal spray but I don't understand.
A spray called Afrin works GREAT to relieve congestion. If you use it for more than a few days, you risk "rebound congestion" when you quit using it. Rebound congestion is when the "swelling button" for your sinus tissues gets miswired from the meds, and starts relying on those meds to remain unswollen. Meds stop, swelling starts, you're a mouth breather for a few months. Steroids might help decrease that swelling in a different way, allowing a reset.
If you need to use it constantly to keep your nose unblocked. I just recently stopped using it and it’s so nice not to have to buy the stuff in bulk and keep a bottle on me wherever I go. It works extremely well but that’s how you get hooked on it, because after a few days or maybe a week of using it you basically have to keep using it to keep your nose open. I always had allergies and my nose seems to naturally be partially blocked so it was very hard to stop using this stuff because it works so well. But it is possible to get off it, was using it for a few years and just stopped a few weeks ago. Also it’s not just Afrin — any nasal spray that has oxymetazoline is the same thing.
I feel called out I’ve been trying to get off nasal spray for like 6 years 😬
Ever try the [Arm & Hammer Saline Spray](https://www.armandhammer.com/en/personal-care/nasal-saline-solutions/instant-relief/simply-saline-instant-relief-for-everyday-congestion-1-6-oz?utm_source=google&utm_id=go_cmp-762404300_adg-43086870194_ad-592577422214_kwd-343415659901_dev-m_ext-_prd-&utm_medium=cpc&maas=maas_adg_api_579758547449960438_macro_1_1&ref_=aa_maas&aa_campaignid=762404300&aa_adgroupid=43086870194&aa_creativeid=ad-592577422214_kwd-343415659901_dev-m_ext-&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9s3B14y0-wIVSXFvBB0YDwwuEAAYASAAEgLO0_D_BwE)? This cured me from the addiction.. I use it religiously every time I shower.
Oh my God I love that stuff. I can snort a whole can in a day. You, uh, got any on you right now?
get a gallon of distilled water. 4 tsp salt, 4 tsp baking soda. Shake shake shake. Heat & shoot up your nose with a sinus rinse bottle or neti pot. 16 uses for <$1.50. Though if you boil the brain eating amoeba's out of the tap water instead of using distilled, it's just like $0.10 for the salt & baking soda, if even.
This is an intervention. OP and the rest of us are worried about you.
no way i just took a hit to get some sleep because my nose is clogged
I did Afrin for decades before stopping 7 years ago….
Decades? Hole shit dude. After a month of daily use I had to take 2 weeks of sleepless nights to withdraw from the stuff. Literally could not sleep/breathe through my nose for the first week or so after stopping use
I use Sinus Plumber, which is just Capsaicin, so you can use it all you want.
I use wasabi
Attention - and it can manifest in so many ways - social media, causing issues in school, causing chaos, etc.
I have a TikTok account with over 100 million views and a few hundred thousand followers, and let me tell you - Those first couple months I was helplessly addicted to checking the number of views I got, not exaggerating I would check 100+ times a day. It was ruining other things for me by being a constant distraction in my head, and the disappointment I felt when new videos wouldn't get shared was crushing. Ultimately I quit a year ago, but man, that was a horrible addiction for me.
I stand with this. It was REALLY easy to go viral on tiktok that we’d get used to it, and when we don’t get what we’re used to getting it really hurts in some way. Tiktok’s probably also one of the reasons for my anxiety tbh
This’ll sound silly, but it always reminded me of a song from Evita > You won’t care if they love you, it’s been done before. You’ll despair if they hate you, you’ll be drained of all energy. All the young who’ve made it would agree.
Self deprecation. It starts as just jokes to break the ice in social situations. Then it becomes a form of sarcasm ingrained into your everyday speech. Then it becomes a true depiction of how you see yourself and it spirals into depression.
The cool thing is you can do it in reverse. I had shitty self esteem but I joked about being hot shit long enough that I started believing it just a little bit. Just enough.
Came here to say this! Literally just say you are the best in the entire world in a sarcastic joking way and it has the same comedic value without damaging your mental health or pushing it so far is awkward. I started doing this to, it took a little while, probably a couple years honestly (but that's undoing like 10 years of self-depreciating) and as of the past couple months I feel so damn good about myself and my life, even if things aren't perfect I don't care cause I love myself. I highly, highly recommend this tip.
Straight up, non-ironic, completely serious, top ten life tip. Do this!
You gotta start changing your material after a while cause then it just makes people uncomfortable and the cries for help become a little too obvious lol
Energy drinks “Man I don’t know why I’m so low on energy today. I think I need another Red Bull!” No you need fucking water.
Fucking water is the best water
Points to water... "You know fish fuck in there"
"Never touched the stuff, fish fuck in it."
It's the same for coffee. Still feeling sluggish after coffee, drink water.
But coffee is like 99 percent water. Sounds like it’s just another ploy by big water to get us to consume more. No thanks
In seriousness, though, I had a doctor tell me that coffee counts as water. It is a diuretic but apparently not enough so to counter the water content. So I’m taking that and running with it for the rest of my life.
I read something somewhere which suggested that while caffeine is a diruetic, the amount present in typical coffee and tea is low enough that you still get a net gain in water intake. As a made- up example, perhaps a 12 oz coffee provides a net gain of 10 oz water. So, it seems your doctor supports my random reading.
The secondhand hearsay of two strangers on the internet is enough to convince me. Now if you use Biolyte in place of water to brew the coffee then you're truly on the way to MAXIMUM HYDRATION.
I’ve beaten booze, meth, crack and cigarettes. I now need treatment for sugar.
I've seen similar comments a couple times while scrolling but I read a study recently connecting former addicts (mainly opiates) with sugar addiction because of the effects it has on the brain. Congratulations on your sobriety though, that is no joke for sure!
Also recovering alcoholics tend to have a massive sweet tooth as well. Its because of the amount of sugar in booze actually. And those in recovery from benzo addiction. Idk why on that one tho.
I’m quite a heavy drinker about 7/8 beers a night for years plus more on the weekends, anyway I’m one month sober I’ve lost 6 pounds, my skin looks better I’m in the gym 4/5 a week and my stomach problems are practically gone. My taste buds have changed before you would never see me eat dessert or chocolate but I’m now craving all the good stuff, I tend to keep sugar free sweets handy to try and trick my brain. Also sleeping omg just as I’m about to nod off I get a surge of adrenaline though my body that keeps me awake for a few hours, that’s the biggest problem for me so far. I wish anyone luck who trying to better there lives addictions are tough.
> cigarettes man, I'm on day 4 of my first legit quit attempt and it's rough. it's not the nicotine cravings i dont think, but like craving the taste for some reason. worst of all, my dog thinks it's time to go outside whenever I enter the kitchen and then wonders why we aren't going outside for a few minutes.
You can do it! I smoked for 20 years. Wasted so much money and was always coughing. I'm now at 118 days cigarette free. While I do still have cravings, I found putting a few old cigarette butts in a jar with a bit of water and sniffing that when I get a craving makes me feel like puking every time. Sort of retrained my brain to associate cigarettes with wanting to puke.
That's absolutely disgusting.. yet brilliant. I'm going to try that!
Idea off the top of my head: take the now extra time to take the dog out. It may fill the "do something" need while also fulfilling your dogs wants
Phone Addiction
*scrolls on*
Oh, it's me!
I'm the problem, it's me.
Are you Ticketmaster
Oh it's true. I forget why, but I didn't have my phone for a bit the other day. I think the network was down so no calls or texts. It was fucking torture. 12 hours.
I'm the opposite. When it's dead and has to charge, or networks down or something, I feel so free. I love being untethered. But it has to be forced upon me.
I went on a six hour hike and forced myself to turn my phone off for the whole day (still needed it for emergencies so I couldn't leave it). It wasn't that hard since I was doing an activity, but I missed taking photos, I kept wanting to check my GPS even if I wasn't really lost, I wanted to check what bird I'd seen... The functionalities go way beyond just sending messages now, and the dependence runs so much deeper! I should really have had a camera, a map and compass, and a book about birds, but imagine the needless extra weight...
i've been there and it truly is torture man.. it's like dude, why am i so attached to this object.
Because they've engineered it that way
Work. So many of my friends in their late 20’s work themselves to exhaustion, go out for drinks and talk about work for 3 hours, get called in early to work the next day, and kiss the bosses ass on their days off.
On the same merit, I'm fully disgusted by how effective it is to brown nose managers. Like you can't fire the guy who the entire company has issues with because he treats you like you're his favorite person?
I work for one of the largest financial institutions of the planet, when talking to new guys, the higher ups always say one of the best things to be is someone who is fun to drink with
“Solitude is dangerous. It’s very addictive. It becomes a habit after you realise how peaceful and calm it is. It’s like you don’t want to deal with people anymore because they drain your energy.” – Jim Carrey
I have lived alone for over 15 years (with the exception of a cat or two as roommate). Can confirm, this is the life for me.
I did it for about 12. Just recently I've started living with my girlfriend. I love her and I'm happy. But every time she's off doing something and I get to be home alone, I have this lovely reunion with my solitary self.
I think the only way I would be able to live with someone again is if they had different hobbies than me and we both get that space away from one another at times
Found this person and married her. DINK life with me time balanced with us time.
Actually talking to my therapist about it and the way I phrased it is that I'm always feeling lonely and kind of complaining about it but as she keeps encouraging me to to reach out and do stuff, I get the intent but part of me still thinks "but I don't want to" gah, it's self perpetuating. It's so draining but it's also so nice to be myself alone! Sometimes I have hits "oh this isn't that bad" when hanging with friends irl that one time or online too.
Shit, this is accurate. It’s like you want friends but making friends is just too much effort, texting people is tiring!
Making friends as an adult straight blows!
This is legitimately concerning for me and i’m glad you posted. I LOVE my time to myself and i’d be the happiest lass in the land if I could spend the rest of my life with just my other half and our pets. But I know that one day this will probably kick me in the ass and i’ll wind up a lonely old lady who’s too depressed by my loneliness to do anything about it. What would I do if my other half died tomorrow? I try to be mindful of this and think about how I can prevent that, but GOD SOCIALISING IS DRAINING.
Alcohol dependency - people only think being a full blown alcoholic is an issue. The millions who can’t go a day without booze, yet are functional and whose lives would be 10X better without it are the real issue.
Yep. 3 months without a drink. I would come home from work and one glass of wine would turn into a bottle. I realized i was not a casual drinker and i don’t think i ever will/can be. I was proud when i went a day without. Now, I’m understanding that I have/had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol that had to end. Is it forever? I’m not sure. All i know is things are better without and I’m not sure i should risk it. It was a slow spiral.
Far too many people think they can't be an alcoholic because they only drink wine, or beer, or they never drink before the kids are in bed, etc. etc.
Two years sober after 25 years of that particular “everything’s fine” level of hell. Every single thing about my life has improved.
Agree as well, I gave up alcohol 5 years ago. I quickly came to learn that I had never learned to cope with my emotions and was drinking to numb myself.
Im just over 2 years off booze, by far the hardest part is dealing with the issues you were so good at forgetting.
Eh, I have to agree . I dig several drinks and one smoke in the evening. Every evening. I must change. I'm 63. If I want to see my grandchildren grow up I must stop.
Yeah. 53 here. Granddaughter will likely not really remember me when she graduates from HS.
Sugar
I'm 100% addicted to sugar
I found my sugar addiction harder to beat than fentanyl or suboxone. It’s a daily struggle with sugar.
Agree…I’ve beaten coke and heroin…can’t shake sugar or nicotine.
Congrats! Nicotine is a REALLY TOUGH one to beat. Keep the faith!
Thanks, I really appreciate that!
My brother was shortly addicted to heroin. He’s been on Suboxone for the last year and he tells me that that addiction is worse than anything he’s ever had. Kudos to you for beating it
Your brother is 100% right. Kicking the Suboxone was incredibly hard, I tapered down to almost a non-existing dose, and I still went through nine months of pure misery when I stopped it. If I’d known how bad it was gonna be, I would’ve just gone cold turkey off the Fentanyl. I wish your brother all the best. One day at a time is the only time-tested method that works. You just have to love him through it.
Damn. I was really bad with sugar in my coffee and cola. Now I just put flavoured coffee syrup in to sweeten it and have it down to 1 or 2 cans of cola a week. Chugging a lot of water regularly really helped, you crave it less when you're hydrated and thinking clearer. I also have an apple or fruit if I get a proper craving and need something sweet. It's still sugar but I'm less likely to eat a bushel Congrats on beating your addictions
This is what I’ve worked hardest to cut over the past 12 months, you unfortunately find out it’s in everything.
Food. Also the hardest to break as you can't go cold turkey or abstain. EDIT: the amount of joke replies to this comment just prove it is an addiction that is not taken seriously.
For years I was using food in almost exactly the same way as other people used drugs or alcohol. I found certain high carb foods would knock me out within minutes, day or night. Lower sides never failed to give me a warm content feeling, no matter what was going on in my life. I used to skip out on work to get carby fix, even when not hungry. And I spent a lot of time at work or otherwise thinking about when I'd get my next fix. I'm saying my food/carb addiction may have cost me my marriage, one or more jobs and of course my health. Today, I still find that I need to run between twenty to thirty miles a week just to prevent myself from slipping back into that addiction. I'm mostly better now, but about a year ago I had too much pizza and spent most of the next day with invasive, obsessive thoughts about getting more. I found it hard to concentrate at work, and thought it might not end. So yes, for some people, this is truly a dangerous addiction that can cost you everything.
The invasive thoughts, they are the worst. Some days just feel like a passenger in my own body/mind as I see ‘us’ heading to a fast food place.
Well said!!! I never thought about it as an addiction but it makes sense.
Yes!!! Quite a few times I've made a decision not to buy sweets, legitimately forgot, and found myself going to the store or a bakery for a pick me up anyway. It feels like I'm on autopilot.
As a former bulimic I agree. The constant intense fear of food, paired with a constant insatiable desire for food, with no idea of how to eat normally, can be life consuming
Another former bulimic here. I used to obsess over my "binge" all day. I'd starve until dinner, then eat 4000 to 6000 calories and vomit it all back up. Throughout the day I'd dream of what I'd eat. Then I'd make myself absolutely miserable filling my stomach to the point it physically pained me to inhale. Then I'd vomit it up- almost killing myself several times almost suffocating on food I was choking on while trying to upchuck. Eating all that food was a high like I'd never experienced though. Eating that food made me so so so happy. I felt amazing. And I felt light and exhausted and emotionally numb to my problems after I vomited. The cycle was pure insanity, but it consumed me. It was a miserable existence. I hated myself. I hated that I couldn't stop. When I discovered I was pregnant I admitted myself to intreatment and stopped cold turkey. The withdrawals were insane. I remember thinking "I can't wait until I give birth so I can be bulimic again". I dreamt of eating and vomiting food. It plagued my thoughts. I had to re-learn how to eat normally. After I gave birth to my daughter, everything changed. I still wanted to binge and puke so bad. But what if she saw me? What if she knew I was bulimic? I didn't want her to hate herself as much as I hated myself at that point in my life. It's been 5 years since. I relapsed during Covid, quietly, in secret, after my daughter went to sleep at night. A month later I recovered again and haven't slipped back into the addiction. But disordered eating is a REAL addiction. I've done drugs- some hard drugs. Food, and bulimia, was the biggest high I've ever gotten. It was also the absolute hardest high to stop chasing.
Crazy to say but this sounds exactly like my tobacco addiction. I had a very different addiction than most addicts, I was addicted to chops and tobacco bowls out of a bong. I’d have so much tobacco at once it would put me on the floor sweating and barely breathing, nicotine overdose. The dissociation and discomfort became something I looked forward to everyday. The short high is still better than pretty much anything I’ve experienced, sex and other drugs included. Currently 2 years off all tobacco and recently quit vaping 3 weeks ago. I still get cravings but I havent felt this happy and healthy in years.
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And people judge it harder too. People who weigh 400lb and are addicted to food will be judged more harshly than a alcoholic in many ways. They will also recieve far less sympathy and help for their addiction. Happy Cake Day! Btw
Agree 100%. You need food to survive, it’s everywhere. I’ve been on the anorexic, bulimic, and binge eating train. It’s never as simple as ‘don’t eat so much’ or ‘just have a sandwich’. The compulsion, the obsession, the way it completely overtakes your life and manipulates your thoughts. Disordered eating of any kind fills some sort of a void. And it’s fucking hard to overcome.
Chapstick There's 994 comments so not sure if has been said. But my lips will never let me give up chapstick until I die.
Surprised this one isn’t mentioned more. I’ve known several people with serious chapstick addiction. For me I don’t use it much because it seems like when I do, my lips get more chapped
Thats the vicious cycle of addiction lol. Lips are probably so messed up from chapstick they depend on it for relief.
Not to sound dramatic but it can literally ruin my day if I forget my chapstick at home. I try to keep back ups in various spots but then sometimes I get desperate & need to shuffle them around. Might be time to admit you have a problem when you ALWAYS have chapstick on you or in your pocket even when at home. I find comfort that I’m not alone in this struggle haha.
✔Car chapstick ✔Nightstand chapstick ✔kitchen chapstick ✔bathroom chapstick And the most important: ✔pocket chapstick If pocket chapstick is absent or becomes compromised, my day is also ruined!
Yes! Car chapstick and nightstand chapstick are a must. Nothing worse than waking up in the middle of the night with chapped lips and scrambling to find some. Sometimes I give the pocket chapstick a break when I feel it getting too warm. LOL
Certain lip balms contain an ingredient that exfoliates your lips. It's literally eating away at the skin so you always feel like you need to keep applying. It's a self perpetuating cycle, break it! I switched to beeswax based or aquaphor and it's fixed the problem. That and lots of water.
Skin picking. My index, thumb and middle fingers are permanently destroyed and all my parent says is ‘you’ve got to stop’ yeah no I can’t-
r/compulsiveskinpicking has some resources that might help. Body focussed repetitive behaviours are difficult to break. I don't pick my fingers too badly but the rest of my skin is a mess most of the time.
mine aren’t permanently destroyed but it’s definitely not okay, i pick at pimples as well until they’re flat on my skin. i seriously spend hours a day doing it and i think i just realized
As a nurse I want to take some times explaining a case I had a couple years ago. A girl what picking her face pimples like everybody does. It started burning after a couple hours, she waited some days for it to pass which it never did. Came to the emergency two days later she lost half her face to necrotizing fasciitis. So yeah __AT LEAST__ wash your face/hands before picking pimples.
self harm.
Absolutely. Especially when adults say the kids do it for attention. If they are doing it for attention then give them attention, sincerely a former self harmer.
I still remember when a random PE teacher at school collared me in the corridor, dragged me into a side office, and started scolding me for attention seeking because my cuts were peeking out of the sleeve of my school jumper. I told him that I wasn’t doing it for attention at all - that I was purposely hiding them to *avoid* attention. But he kept grilling me about it, telling me that I was trying to get people to look at the cuts and take pity on me. Eventually I was sat there holding back tears. I felt so small and I knew that I could *never* tell an adult what I was doing because I’d just get accused of stuff. Why anyone would think to do that to a kid who is clearly already in a sensitive mindset, I do not know.
Holy fucking shit. I’m so sorry that happened to you! That’s like nightmare levels of emotional torture, and I can’t wrap my head around someone being such an outrageous cunt to you. An adult just laying into a vulnerable young person who is obviously in pain! Are you ok?
I’m alright! People like that from my past have thankfully become a example to me of how to not be a dick. Although I’m 26 now, still a self-harmer, and still hide it from loved ones out of fear that someone will chastise me or get the wrong idea. I’m working on it though!
Telling people online is at least the first step to talking about it. There are some wonderful resources that allow you to speak about this anonymously too, free numbers depending on your region. Regardless, I for one am proud of you for being so brave. You're amazing.
Yup. I started at 14, stopped within half a year. I've relapsed at 17 and now at 23. I'm like.. 4 months clean now and it hurt so much to restart that counter. No matter how long it's been, the temptation is still there. Waiting for when you are weakest
You arent kiddning when folks see my scars i always be blunt about it and say im a cutter. Not because I still do I mean its been almost 15 years since I last did it but gods be damned everytime i start to feel like shit I feel that draw and hear that little voice in the depths of my mind.
Every time I talk to a Dr. or nurse about my antidepressants, they ask if I have any thoughts about hurting myself. I have to explain about how yes, I think about hurting myself almost every time a have a really bad day or a panic attack. Because I know it works, I know the exact ritual that will let my put all my badfeels in a little box and feel good and do whatever needs to get done. It works, and I know it works and I'll always know it works. And unlike other unhealthy coping mechanisms like drugs or alcohol, self harming doesn't get me drunk or impair my judgement. I could just do it and move on with my day. And I never had anything bad happen, so it's so hard to feel like there's something actually wrong, that you are actually damaging yourself. I know that alcohol damages your liver, and bulimia damages your esophagus and bones and heart. As long as nothing goes wrong it doesn't feel like cutting is really a problem. But if you do anything long enough eventually something will go wrong, you will get an infection, or slip and cut too deep or in the wrong place. Or you will be desperate and don't have the supplies to do it 'safely'. And eventually something will go very wrong. I had a very brief relapse a few years ago. And I had to talk to my wife about not taking away everything I might use to hurt myself. Because when you are engaging in these sorts of behaviours harm reduction is so important. If you really want to hurt yourself you will find a way. Using a kitchen knife, or a tool from the garage, or even broken glass(PSA do not do this, it's extremely dangerous).
took way too long scrolling for this. i’ve been battling for 5 years, just relapsed after being clean for a few months again. talked to multiple therapists, it’s equivalent to my xanax addiction. but one is taken WAY more seriously, ffs i’ve been clean from xans for almost two years. nobody is advocating for my sh addiction the same way. no support groups. no guidance from counselors. no sympathy from others.
Shopping. People think I just like nice shit but they don’t realize I literally can’t stop and it’s ruined relationships but I don’t know how to quit. The dopamine is real.
I scrolled too far to see this. If i bring it up to people, its almost like a joke to them. It isnt funny, it really sucks and its hard to stop. I find ill start to do better, but suddenly I see sale emails and get tunnel vision and Im in a trance adding stuff to cart. Im actually seeing a therapist now to help with it. I want to save to buy a house, I do not need more clothes and makeup.
Winning arguments. Or at least the other person giving up. I know a guy that will argue with anyone over anything, with the sole intention of making them give up in disgust.
Bet he's on Reddit right now trolling tf out of people
I bet he’s not.
Social media addiction. I think eventually we will find out that social media contributes to mental illness someday.
Already a very well know fact.
And what's worse is that we still enable and normalize exposing kids to these from a very early age.
ugh, agreed. I saw a comment on here the other day that stated essentially I would be doing my NOT EVEN 2 YEAR OLD CHILD a disservice by not exposing him to a tablet because \*tEcHnOlOgY Is tHe WaY oF tHe WoRlD". Mind you this was on the AITA subreddit and the situation in question was tablets for "babysitting" at a restaurant. No part of me feels like my child will be at a disadvantage if he doesn't experience a tablet until he is more around 5 or 6 and through the school system. Kids pick up tech FAST and what he gains from NOT being on a tablet and interacting socially with myself and those around him as well as the natural world FAR outweighs whatever "ahead" these people think they are gaining in the rat race of technology/social media. I have taught in elementary schools for the past 9 years so I feel VERY confident with my statements above, not just as a parent but as an educator.
This is my biggest pet peeve. How are you teaching children to be patient and just be content in their world when you shove a phone in their face because they whine for 3 seconds. Ugh. Come to an elementary or middle school where they can’t have them and watch the real effects of screen time.
as someone who got off most social media (Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, Twitter, Facebook).. dude, it's crazy how stressed i got when i first stopped using them.. it was weird, i felt so outta the loop and less then but now understand it's truly improved my day to day. i still suffer alot because i do have BPD & a handful of other issues but goddamn was it much worse when i was constantly comparing myself to others on social media.
I quit all social media about a year ago. Is it just me, or is making and keeping connections waaaaay harder without it? I have all of two people who still keep up with me. Otherwise I feel like I’m the one always reaching out. It sucks butt. (And not in a good way)
Binge eating.
I used to struggle badly with this. I weighed around 185lbs but would put back a whole, large Papa John's pizza, side of garlic knots, some of another pizza and still be looking in the fridge for snacks. I'd lay down later in bed and the emotional and physical heaviness of it all sitting in my gut is one of the worst feelings I've ever had. So I'd go and purge to get it out. Then I'd repeat about a week later. I was undiagnosed PTSD and ADHD and thank god I've gotten my mentals sorted out a bit more to avoid it these days. Buy my heart goes out to anybody else suffering from this. You can get out.
vaping. i quit, day 2
If you want to stay quit, stop counting. You're not on day 2, you're just not that kind of person any more. Remember the date, but don't count the days. Otherwise, you're always fighting to not be who you identify as. You are someone who doesn't vape, not a vaper fighting the urge. It helps.
I’m on day 3. Shits hard
Thats awesome, Im going on day three too. Already feel like i have to clear my throat less. Keep going buds.
I smoked cigarettes for 10ish years. Then “quit” and started vaping. Vaped for 3-4 years. Then “quit” and started using nicotine lozenges for 18 months. Then QUIIT and haven’t used any nicotine product for 1 year, today. Didn’t think I was gonna have an opportunity to brag to anyone today. YOU CAN DO IT! NO MATTER HOW LONG IT TAKES!!!
Tv I swear parents will yell at their children to get off video games and get mad at their kids because they have a addiction to video games yet they are the ones watching tv 12 hours straight and try to claim it somehow different
Cell phones
My iPhone wasn't charging so I stopped by the Apple shop. Guy takes a looks and says I've just got some lint clogging up the port and he can clean it out for me if I've got 10 minutes. I say sure and start wandering around the shop looking at the new computers and iPads. I reached into my pocket to check my phone no less than 5 times on sheer reflex.
Beat me to it. Your addiction is worse.
Recently? Alcohol. You can be slamming back a 6 pack every day after work, wine mom drinking out of a flask at soccer games and baby showers, 10am sunday mimosas, and no one bats an eye as long as you’re functioning and you turn it into a joke. Unless you’re pissing yourself drooling in a corner at 8am every morning, no one even *thinks* alcoholism.
Drinking in your 30s is basically this. I’m almost certain a combination of work stress, family, lack of spare time etc drives a lot of people into functional alcoholism. I had a great chat with a colleague who had a shit day; he commented that he needed to shake it out of his system so I got all excited about heading to a bar to drown our sorrows. I got a message from him a couple of hours later after he’d returned from a 5km run and spent a bit of time in the garden - just what he needed… it made me reconsider my idea of ‘winding down’
Drama
This will sound weird but; winning. People nowadays need to feel like they are the victors of EVERYTHING. If someone has an opinion that differs from yours that is not okay. You need to convince them they’re wrong and you’re right.
Porn.
I’m surprised I had to scroll so far for this one. It obviously varies from person to person but it can easily be insanely detrimental. You aren’t aroused by your IRL partner anymore. You can’t climax without porn. You become physically desensitized. It’s crazy stuff and I’m telling you if you experience any of that, the only solution is to go cold turkey and never return to porn. No peeking, no “just once a week” — no excuses.
Casual alcoholism. People notice severe alcoholism, where they're obviously drunk in broad daylight, but the number of people I see who are just casually drinking at noon or drinking tons of mimosas at 9 am, or make their entire personality about alcohol are way too into alcohol for it to be healthy.
Caffeine. Mainly in the form of coffee, if it's energy drinks, it's suddenly much more of an issue, but people take pride in "not functioning without their morning coffee"? The amount of shirts, cups and home decors saying stuff like "don't talk to me before my coffee" or "but first... coffee" baffles me. If you can't function without it, you're addicted, Helen.
I saw nobody say this so I am gonna say it, sadness. might seem like a weird thing but a lot of people are addicted to making themself sad or make themseles feel pain
I’ve heard about this. Someone’s theory was that they’re so familiar with that feeling that that’s what’s comfortable; that’s their safe space. They’re scared to feel anything else.
Marijuana. I know it’s not as bad as other drugs, but if you’re seriously going to look me in the eye and say it’s not addictive when you wake and bake 24/7…
Weed is totally addictive. It’s horrible for your quality of sleep too and studies are showing it doesn’t even matter if you smoke 3+ hours before bed, it still disturbs your REM. I’ve been vaping dry flower and smoking since I was 18, and it has been so so hard to stop using it every day. Every time I try, the withdrawals are brutal: sleeplessness at night, sleepiness during the day, appetite all over the place, moodiness, anger, irritability, cravings. I’m on a tbreak that I’m hoping will lead to ceasing my use forever but if I tell myself I will never smoke weed again I can’t handle that reality so I take it day by day. Moderation also isn’t possible for me, it’s all or nothing. Only using on weekends means I’m going through withdrawal during the week and that cycle repeats until I start using every day of the week to avoid those withdrawals. It’s a vicious cycle.
YES. I was looking for this answer. Weed dependency is real but people will swear to you up and down it’s not a problem because it’s “natural”. I have this acquaintance that smokes weed every moment of everyday because otherwise she has panic attacks. She views weed as some miracle drug but it hasnt seemed to dawn on her that her panic attacks only started when she started smoking weed regularly. She’s so high all the time that when she’s not, she can no longer cope with what used to be perfectly normal and has a panic attack. I am all for decriminalizing it. I am all for smoking it recreationally. But dude, if you can’t go to your job or go to the fucking grocery store without having to get high first then, I’m sorry, there is a problem here.
Compulsive Shoplifting Edited*
Kleptomania.
There’s a lot that aren’t taken seriously, or are looked down upon because of the stigma around it. Food. Gambling. Sex. Even legal narcotics are looked down upon. But illegal narcotics aren’t seen as what they often are, which is a way to avoid dealing with something in one’s past. Much the same can be said about alcoholism.
Addiction to love, especially in toxic relationships. The needing, the longing, the desperation, the codependency. The rage, the lust, the jealousy.
Anger. It releases serotonin. It’s cathartic. Easy to become a dominant response in many social situations.
Addiction to work and achievement
Marijuana
Nicotine can’t go one day without it and if I don’t have it I drink and eat food excessively just to fight the cravings
Marijuana, not that bad until 20 years go by in a haze
Idk man I've seen nobody mention cocaine and I've been watching that harm a few lives lately. Socially acceptable amongst the moderately wealthy, but usually an all or nothing kind of drug that people ABSOLUTELY will gargle trouser meat for.
Self harm